1
00:00:03,399 --> 00:00:04,500
Hey, sport!

2
00:00:04,566 --> 00:00:06,467
l heard someone
got engaged, you dog!

3
00:00:06,532 --> 00:00:07,633
Yeah.

4
00:00:08,265 --> 00:00:09,633
(GROANS) God!

5
00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:11,067
Nothing can
hurt you now.

6
00:00:11,132 --> 00:00:12,766
You're a man in love!

7
00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:16,867
(DOOR CLOSES)

8
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,368
l was there,
and that dude
is not engaged.

9
00:00:19,432 --> 00:00:21,367
l'm not a big believer
in therapy,

10
00:00:21,432 --> 00:00:23,867
but l would go
into my own pocket
to cover his copay.

11
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:26,134
Big idea,
double wedding!

12
00:00:26,199 --> 00:00:27,466
Me, Angela, you, Holly.

13
00:00:27,532 --> 00:00:28,900
No. We would never do that.

14
00:00:28,966 --> 00:00:30,634
And if we did,
it would be with
Jim and Pam.

15
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:31,699
Yeah, we'd never
do that.

16
00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:32,800
Yeah, so there you go.

17
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,634
Michael, l got
my bridesmaid's dress.

18
00:00:34,699 --> 00:00:35,833
Wow, so quickly.

19
00:00:35,899 --> 00:00:36,933
Yeah, and you said
l could get it

20
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,701
in any color l wanted,
so l picked white.

21
00:00:38,766 --> 00:00:41,268
Michael, did you tell
your mom yet?

22
00:00:41,799 --> 00:00:43,133
Nope. Nope, not yet.

23
00:00:43,199 --> 00:00:44,466
Why not?
You wouldn't tell your mom?

24
00:00:44,532 --> 00:00:46,033
You love your mom.
MICHAEL: Yeah, l do.

25
00:00:46,099 --> 00:00:47,099
Call your mom, Michael.

26
00:00:47,165 --> 00:00:49,433
Yeah, l'll call her
and tell her tomorrow.

27
00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:53,603
ALL: Call her! Call her!
l don't wanna
do it in public.

28
00:00:53,666 --> 00:00:55,768
All right,
l will call her.

29
00:00:56,065 --> 00:00:57,533
She is going to
freak out!

30
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,633
Speakerphone!

31
00:00:58,699 --> 00:00:59,733
Not...

32
00:00:59,799 --> 00:01:00,866
(PHONE RINGS)

33
00:01:01,699 --> 00:01:02,933
Thanks.

34
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
MICHAEL'S MOM: Hello?

35
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:05,332
Mom, l'm getting married.

36
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,399
No, you're not.

37
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,234
Why do you always do that?

38
00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:12,569
Whenever l'm getting married,
you don't believe me.

39
00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:15,334
Are you gettíng marríed?

40
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:16,733
No.

41
00:01:17,032 --> 00:01:18,433
(LAUGHS)

42
00:01:18,966 --> 00:01:19,966
Are you...

43
00:01:20,032 --> 00:01:21,967
l'm not.
l'm not getting married.

44
00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:29,100
Psych.

45
00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,268
So l've returned
my bridesmaid dress

46
00:01:53,332 --> 00:01:56,535
and it was on sale,
so l'm out
a hundred dollars.

47
00:01:57,065 --> 00:01:58,866
And l'm out a fiancée.

48
00:01:59,399 --> 00:02:00,600
Are those
the customer surveys?

49
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:04,436
Yeah, this is all of them.
Jim, Dwight,

50
00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:08,269
Phyllis, Stanley,
Andy and...

51
00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,734
lt's the receipt
to my bridesmaid dress.

52
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:12,833
What's that doing there?

53
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:16,235
l'll take care of that
for you. Thanks.

54
00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:22,270
Kelly Kapoor
is our dusky, exotic,
customer service rep.

55
00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:25,435
And once a year,
she will contact
our clients

56
00:02:25,499 --> 00:02:28,702
and find out
how happy they are
with our sales people.

57
00:02:28,766 --> 00:02:31,935
Sort of a ''Kapoor's List.''
Schíndler's Líst parody.

58
00:02:34,099 --> 00:02:36,201
That's not appropriate. No.

59
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:38,868
Those reports
affect our bonuses,

60
00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:40,668
which is kind of
great for me,

61
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:43,402
because you wouldn't know
from looking at her,

62
00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:44,800
but Pam's a gold digger.

63
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:47,768
PAM OVER EARPHONE:
Hey, New York aín't free.
Get back to work.

64
00:02:49,866 --> 00:02:52,134
lt's the world's
tiniest Bluetooth.

65
00:02:52,199 --> 00:02:55,135
l found it in
a Japanese gadget store
in the Village.

66
00:02:55,199 --> 00:02:57,000
l got one for Jim, too.

67
00:02:57,065 --> 00:02:58,099
Jim, say something.

68
00:02:58,165 --> 00:02:59,833
JIM: Testíng, testíng,
hello, everybody.

69
00:02:59,899 --> 00:03:01,333
We wanted to stay
on the phone all day,

70
00:03:01,399 --> 00:03:04,502
but the company has a policy
against
eight-hour personal calls,

71
00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,501
so we're not
telling anyone.

72
00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:08,601
Pam, what do you
want on your coffee?

73
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,101
Sprinkle of cinnamon.
JIM: Sprínkle of cínnamon.

74
00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:12,299
l should go.

75
00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:15,102
All righty, Dwighty,
Iet's see how you did.

76
00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:16,833
Bring it on.
No.

77
00:03:16,899 --> 00:03:18,066
Sorry.

78
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:19,899
Wow.

79
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,033
What does it say?

80
00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:25,434
Dwight,
your feedback
is horrible.

81
00:03:25,499 --> 00:03:27,400
That's impossible.
A number of your clients

82
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:30,368
found your personal style
abrasive and distasteful.

83
00:03:30,432 --> 00:03:32,467
l sell more paper
than anyone.
No, no, no, no.

84
00:03:32,532 --> 00:03:34,233
Wait, is this a joke?

85
00:03:34,299 --> 00:03:36,501
l'm getting that
queasy feeling that
sometimes accompanies jokes.

86
00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:37,900
Do l look like
l am joking?

87
00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:40,268
No, but that's
sometimes part of it.

88
00:03:40,332 --> 00:03:41,866
lf l were joking,
you'd be laughing.

89
00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:43,601
Do you look like
you are laughing?

90
00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:45,934
lmpossible to say,
l can't see myself.

91
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,067
You're not.

92
00:03:48,265 --> 00:03:49,899
Yo, Tommy Tuna.

93
00:03:50,165 --> 00:03:51,366
Did you get
your scores yet?

94
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,566
No.

95
00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:54,599
l got mine,
they were really good.

96
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:55,933
l miss him.

97
00:03:56,232 --> 00:03:57,266
You must be really proud.

98
00:03:57,332 --> 00:03:59,167
Yeah, l'm pretty psyched.
Whoa!

99
00:03:59,232 --> 00:04:00,733
That's my mug.

100
00:04:02,432 --> 00:04:03,866
Sorry, l was just...
It was right here.

101
00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:04,967
Right. Well,

102
00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:08,268
it's mine, so
if you could pour it out
and get another one.

103
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,701
Okay, or maybe l could
finish the coffee
that's in here,

104
00:04:10,766 --> 00:04:12,734
and you could use...

105
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,067
Snoopy! He's funny.

106
00:04:15,132 --> 00:04:16,833
Don't give him Snoopy.
That's mine!

107
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:21,969
That is a great mug,
but it's not my mug.

108
00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:25,301
That is my mug,
so give it back.

109
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,165
How can you even be sure?

110
00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:29,367
That's my face on it.

111
00:04:29,599 --> 00:04:31,100
Make the face.

112
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:32,866
l don't see it.

113
00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:34,567
Dude, that is my face.

114
00:04:36,099 --> 00:04:37,233
PAM: What was that?

115
00:04:37,299 --> 00:04:39,267
Wow. That was Dwight.

116
00:04:39,566 --> 00:04:40,733
He seems upset
about something.

117
00:04:40,899 --> 00:04:42,133
Describe him exactly.

118
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,801
What color mustard
is his shirt,
yellow or Dijon?

119
00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:47,635
lt is spicy brown, actually.

120
00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:48,966
What are you
mumbling about?

121
00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:50,199
How was your meeting
with Michael?

122
00:04:50,265 --> 00:04:51,366
None of your business.

123
00:04:51,432 --> 00:04:52,432
Was it your scores?

124
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,734
These can't be
my scores, Jim.

125
00:04:55,265 --> 00:04:58,267
For your information,
l'm being sabotaged.

126
00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,366
Of course.

127
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,467
And l'm gonna
find that person
and punish them.

128
00:05:01,532 --> 00:05:02,532
Absolutely.

129
00:05:02,599 --> 00:05:05,068
Or you could just be
nice to your customers.

130
00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:06,599
You're an idiot.

131
00:05:06,666 --> 00:05:07,867
There's the charm.

132
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,035
Jimbo, let's do this thing.

133
00:05:11,532 --> 00:05:12,532
That is me.
Wish me luck.

134
00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:13,666
No way.

135
00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:14,934
PAM: Good luck.
Thanks.

136
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,434
l didn't say anything.
l love you.

137
00:05:16,499 --> 00:05:17,499
l love you, too.

138
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:20,001
What do you think
l'm saying to you?

139
00:05:20,132 --> 00:05:22,033
l'm not talking to you.

140
00:05:22,466 --> 00:05:25,202
l caught Jim
talking to himself
several times today.

141
00:05:25,265 --> 00:05:26,532
What a loser.

142
00:05:27,766 --> 00:05:29,534
Get a friend, loser!

143
00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:33,835
Yeah, l'm looking at it
right now,
it's really gorgeous.

144
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:35,267
You guys do great work.

145
00:05:35,532 --> 00:05:38,768
l found the best
''tentist''
on the East Coast.

146
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,070
He personally tented
Giuliani's first
and third weddings.

147
00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:46,535
And l got him.
l got him.

148
00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:51,169
Would you be able
to do the same design,
but with walls of gray?

149
00:05:51,232 --> 00:05:54,234
And a top
that's gray, too?
Fabulous.

150
00:05:55,165 --> 00:05:56,399
Come on.

151
00:05:56,466 --> 00:05:57,767
JIM: What?
You, too?

152
00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,067
Did my scores drop a little?

153
00:05:59,132 --> 00:06:01,100
Jim, they are poopy.

154
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:03,733
(CLEARS THROAT)

155
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:04,799
(DISCONNECTS CALL)

156
00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:05,933
Jim?

157
00:06:07,265 --> 00:06:08,332
Jim?

158
00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:11,534
Are we even sure
that's my file?

159
00:06:11,599 --> 00:06:12,666
No.

160
00:06:13,399 --> 00:06:16,502
Yes, l am sure, Jim, it...

161
00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:17,667
Well, there's gotta
be an explanation.

162
00:06:17,733 --> 00:06:18,767
l agree.

163
00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:20,568
Yeah.
So, let's see

164
00:06:20,632 --> 00:06:23,101
what we can find out
from reading.

165
00:06:24,499 --> 00:06:27,001
Jim Halpert is
smudge and arrogant.

166
00:06:27,132 --> 00:06:28,533
l think he means smug.

167
00:06:28,599 --> 00:06:29,633
Arrogance.

168
00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:30,733
Michael,
l'm just trying to...

169
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:33,501
And there is
our smudgeness.

170
00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:35,401
l need a decent bonus

171
00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:38,635
because l'm actually
in the process of
buying my parents' house

172
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,000
so that they can retire.

173
00:06:41,432 --> 00:06:44,468
And if history
tells us anything,
it's that you can't go wrong

174
00:06:44,532 --> 00:06:46,867
buying a house
you can't afford.

175
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:50,869
Pam doesn't know
about the house,
so it's a fun surprise.

176
00:06:52,099 --> 00:06:53,266
(CONNECTS CALL)

177
00:06:53,332 --> 00:06:56,268
Pam, sorry about that.
Lost you for a second.

178
00:06:56,466 --> 00:06:59,769
So, as it turns out,
l may not have done so hot

179
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:01,568
on my customer
reviews this year.

180
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:02,967
Maybe it's 'cause you
spent the whole year

181
00:07:03,032 --> 00:07:04,600
flirting with
the receptionist.

182
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,701
Little bit. Worth it.

183
00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:12,402
Here's what's going to happen,
l am going to have to fix you.

184
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:16,503
Manage you two
on a more personal scale,

185
00:07:17,032 --> 00:07:19,534
a more micro
form of management.

186
00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:20,666
Jim, what is that called?

187
00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:22,601
Micro-gement.
Boom. Yes.

188
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:24,734
Now, Jim is going
to be the client.

189
00:07:24,799 --> 00:07:27,001
Dwight, you're going
to have to sell to him

190
00:07:27,065 --> 00:07:30,535
without being aggressive,
hostile or difficult.

191
00:07:30,866 --> 00:07:31,866
Let's go.

192
00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:32,967
(CLEARS THROAT)
All right, fine.

193
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,668
Ring, ring.

194
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:36,767
Hello?

195
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:39,535
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute
from the Dunder Mifflin
paper company.

196
00:07:39,599 --> 00:07:41,667
Well, that's great,
'cause l need paper.

197
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:43,601
Excellent,
then you are in luck,
because we are having

198
00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:46,268
a limited-time offer
only on everything.

199
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,366
Wow, this is
my lucky day.

200
00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:48,432
(WHISPERS)
Ask him his name.

201
00:07:48,499 --> 00:07:49,700
What is your name, sir?

202
00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,567
l am Bill Buttlicker.

203
00:07:52,566 --> 00:07:54,301
Really?
That's your real name?

204
00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:55,567
How dare you?

205
00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:58,534
My family
built this country,
by the way.

206
00:07:58,599 --> 00:08:00,467
Be respectful, Dwight.
Please.
Yes, Michael.

207
00:08:00,532 --> 00:08:02,033
Could you
hold on one second?
That's my other line.

208
00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:03,333
What?
No, but l...
l'm on hold.

209
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,634
Hello? Yeah.

210
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:10,136
No. l'm iust on the phone
with this stupid salesman.
He's so dumb.

211
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,100
Probably iust
going to keep him
on the line forever

212
00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:14,500
and not buy anything.

213
00:08:14,566 --> 00:08:15,566
Okay.

214
00:08:15,632 --> 00:08:17,133
lt's up to you
to change his mind.

215
00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:19,634
Sorry, that was
a family emergency.

216
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:20,800
Oh, no, what's wrong?

217
00:08:20,866 --> 00:08:22,601
You know what?
That's private.

218
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:23,967
Boundaries, Dwight.
Come on!

219
00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:25,466
l'm sorry,
Mr. Buttlicker.

220
00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:26,633
As l was saying...

221
00:08:26,699 --> 00:08:28,667
Sorry, you just have to
speak a little bit louder,

222
00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,334
l'm hard of hearing.
He's hard of...
He's an old man.

223
00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:32,300
Okay,
as l was saying,
right now...

224
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:33,400
You're gonna
have to talk louder.

225
00:08:33,466 --> 00:08:35,134
Okay, our prices
have never been lower...

226
00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:36,300
Son, you have to
talk louder.

227
00:08:36,366 --> 00:08:37,366
Never been lower!

228
00:08:37,432 --> 00:08:38,432
Louder, son!

229
00:08:38,499 --> 00:08:41,068
(SHOUTING)
Buttlicker, our prices
have never been lower!

230
00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:43,100
Stop it! Stop it!
He...

231
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,135
That is totally
inappropriate.

232
00:08:46,199 --> 00:08:47,366
You never yell
at the client.

233
00:08:47,432 --> 00:08:49,066
You never yell at the client.
Now you listen to me, sir.

234
00:08:49,132 --> 00:08:50,166
Here we go.

235
00:08:50,232 --> 00:08:52,233
The three words
l would describe
you as

236
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:55,301
is aggressive, hostile
and definitely difficult.

237
00:08:55,366 --> 00:08:57,167
Please, Mr. Buttlicker...
l'm irate right now.

238
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,232
Give me the phone.

239
00:08:58,299 --> 00:08:59,500
Please give me
another chance.

240
00:08:59,566 --> 00:09:01,834
Mr. Buttlicker,
l have to put you on
with my boss.

241
00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:03,333
Well, l should hope so.

242
00:09:03,399 --> 00:09:05,367
Who is this?
Hello, this is Michael Scott

243
00:09:05,432 --> 00:09:06,466
regional manager.

244
00:09:06,532 --> 00:09:08,567
Well, this is
William M. Buttlicker.

245
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,401
Hello, Mr. Buttlicker,
how may we help you?

246
00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:12,967
Michael, l like
the sound
of your voice.

247
00:09:13,032 --> 00:09:14,066
You know what
l'm going to do?

248
00:09:14,132 --> 00:09:17,768
l'm going to buy
$1,OOO,OOO worth of
paper products today.

249
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,766
See how it's done?

250
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:21,167
Thank you very much, sir.

251
00:09:21,232 --> 00:09:23,033
l don't think
you'll regret it.
See what l did?

252
00:09:23,099 --> 00:09:24,099
You are the master.

253
00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:25,165
There is one condition,
Michael.

254
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,000
Yes.
You have to
fire the salesman

255
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,099
that treated me
so terribly.

256
00:09:28,165 --> 00:09:30,367
Don't do it, Michael.

257
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,835
(WHISPERS)
It's a million-dollar sale.

258
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:38,236
So it's called
the Shangri-la Tent.
It's two stories, heated,

259
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:42,369
and it has a bridal suite
for my bridal sweet.

260
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,468
lt's just really simple,
really tasteful.

261
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:49,368
l don't want to be
married in a tent
like a hobo.

262
00:09:49,432 --> 00:09:51,233
Hobos live in trains.

263
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,202
Nana Mimi can't be
in canvas that long.

264
00:09:54,265 --> 00:09:57,835
Well, Nana Mimi...
Okay, look.

265
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,833
This tent is awesome,

266
00:10:01,499 --> 00:10:02,733
and it's in high demand,

267
00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:06,102
so l really think
we should put
a deposit down now.

268
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:11,369
Okay, fine.
You can have your tent,
but only if it's in a field.

269
00:10:11,432 --> 00:10:12,933
A hand-plowed field.

270
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,201
Done and done-er.

271
00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:18,536
There has to be
a barn that's old enough
that you can see the stars

272
00:10:18,599 --> 00:10:21,768
through the roof slats,
when you lay on your back.

273
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:25,202
And antique tools
to look at
when you roll over.

274
00:10:25,632 --> 00:10:27,800
Do you have
a specific place
in mind?

275
00:10:27,866 --> 00:10:28,933
No.

276
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,836
But anything within
a five-to-eight mile
radius is acceptable.

277
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,266
On it.

278
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:34,934
Dwight.

279
00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:37,500
Dwight.

280
00:10:37,566 --> 00:10:38,767
(TIRES SCREECHING)

281
00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:40,500
Get in.
Are you serious?

282
00:10:40,566 --> 00:10:41,767
Get in.

283
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,033
Okay, what are you...

284
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:51,133
(SHUSHES)

285
00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:52,333
(MUSIC BLARING)

286
00:10:53,599 --> 00:10:54,733
They might be
listening to us.

287
00:10:54,799 --> 00:10:57,001
What's that? Who is ''they''?
They might be listening to us.

288
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:59,267
Customer service
might be monitoring
this conversation!

289
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,366
ln this car?

290
00:11:00,432 --> 00:11:01,466
You never know.
Better safe than sorry.

291
00:11:01,532 --> 00:11:02,599
(TURNS OFF MUSIC)

292
00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:04,768
What are you thinking here?

293
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,601
Who stands to benefit
from our downfall?

294
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,933
The mob?

295
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,000
Maybe NASA.

296
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,232
Could be the mob.

297
00:11:10,933 --> 00:11:11,967
But then Dunder Mifflin
would need to

298
00:11:12,032 --> 00:11:13,299
be a front
for money laundering,

299
00:11:13,366 --> 00:11:14,700
and there's
little evidence of that.

300
00:11:14,766 --> 00:11:15,867
ls there some evidence?

301
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:17,301
PAM: Cute shoes onlíne.

302
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:18,834
How many shoes
do you need?

303
00:11:18,899 --> 00:11:21,534
l don't know,
two, maybe three,
if one wears out.

304
00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:22,599
How many shoes
do you need?

305
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:23,933
l'm not talking to you.

306
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,668
Who are you talking to?
Pam.

307
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,000
She's not here, Jim.

308
00:11:27,065 --> 00:11:28,266
No, she's not.

309
00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:30,799
(HUMMING)

310
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:41,800
Yes!

311
00:11:42,065 --> 00:11:45,101
l found it.
l found the perfect place.
A local bed and breakfast

312
00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:48,334
which is on
a 60-acre beet farm,
and even better,

313
00:11:48,966 --> 00:11:50,334
l have an in
with the owner.

314
00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,267
Yeah, we work together.

315
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,768
lt's Dwight Schrute.

316
00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:57,434
As in Schrute Farms.

317
00:11:58,199 --> 00:11:59,500
MAN: So l'd líke to
redouble my order.

318
00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,134
lf you could
put me down for...

319
00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:02,833
Wait, shut up!
I'm sorry?

320
00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:03,933
(SHUSHING)

321
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,468
Do you hear that?

322
00:12:05,532 --> 00:12:06,566
Hear what?

323
00:12:07,866 --> 00:12:09,601
Breathing. Is that you?

324
00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:10,666
Well, l am breathíng, yeah.

325
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,302
Well, stop.
Hold your breath.

326
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,467
l still hear it.

327
00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:15,599
Who's there?

328
00:12:16,299 --> 00:12:18,034
Kelly, is that you?

329
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:22,000
Hold on.

330
00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:23,232
l need paper.

331
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:24,767
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

332
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:26,533
Oh, my God,
you scared me!

333
00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:27,866
Hear anything interesting?

334
00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:29,467
What are you talking about?

335
00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:31,000
l think you know.

336
00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:33,834
You always say that,
and l almost never know.

337
00:12:33,899 --> 00:12:35,467
What are you up to, girl?

338
00:12:35,532 --> 00:12:36,699
Did Phyllis
put you up to this?

339
00:12:36,766 --> 00:12:37,967
Stanley?
Are they paying you?

340
00:12:38,032 --> 00:12:39,400
Are you accusing me
of something?

341
00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,067
Of course l am.
l know you're
the mastermind,

342
00:12:41,132 --> 00:12:43,734
but you're too stupid
to do it by yourself.

343
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:46,101
Easy. Let's just
head back to the desk.

344
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,567
You iust can't
come into my nook
and call me stupid.

345
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,800
And maybe if you were
a little bit more
nice and polite,

346
00:12:50,866 --> 00:12:53,134
then people wouldn't
give you such bad
customer reviews.

347
00:12:53,199 --> 00:12:56,702
The reason that l got
bad customer reviews
is because l didn't.

348
00:12:56,766 --> 00:13:00,369
There is a massive conspiracy
going on here,
and l know you're involved.

349
00:13:00,432 --> 00:13:01,966
Dwight, get out of my nook.

350
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,299
That's what she said.
That's what she said!

351
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,167
That's what she saíd!

352
00:13:05,632 --> 00:13:06,733
Good one.

353
00:13:12,265 --> 00:13:15,568
Hey. Sorry about Dwight,
by the way.

354
00:13:15,632 --> 00:13:16,766
Yeah, he's weird.

355
00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:19,901
Well, we all
handle it differently.

356
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:23,569
l personally choose
to handle it
like a normal person, but...

357
00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:24,632
Okay.

358
00:13:24,699 --> 00:13:26,133
Hey, how are you
and Darryl?

359
00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:29,268
We're cool. Bye.

360
00:13:29,332 --> 00:13:30,566
Bye.

361
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,568
That was weírd.
What was?

362
00:13:33,632 --> 00:13:35,266
Have you ever had
a conversatíon wíth Kelly

363
00:13:35,332 --> 00:13:38,868
where she didn't
go on for 15 minutes
without taking a breath?

364
00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,868
No, actually.
Did you do something to her?

365
00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:42,566
l don't think so.

366
00:13:42,632 --> 00:13:44,367
Well, somethíng's off.

367
00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:48,433
Hey, how's things?

368
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:49,600
All right.
Yeah?

369
00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:50,666
Living in the moment.

370
00:13:50,733 --> 00:13:52,234
Do you have
any reason to believe

371
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:53,400
that Kelly
would be mad at me?

372
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,835
l don't play
the politics game
anymore, Jim.

373
00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:57,367
Can l tell you something?

374
00:13:57,432 --> 00:13:58,866
l played it
full-on in New York.

375
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:01,402
l played it high stakes,
for keeps.

376
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:04,669
Made it to the top,
but look what it cost.

377
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:06,333
Can l tell you
what else l learned?

378
00:14:06,399 --> 00:14:07,867
Wait, that's pretty weird.

379
00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:08,933
What?

380
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,835
Well, Andy has
a mug just like that.

381
00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:13,634
Yeah. Kelly gave them
out as party favors.

382
00:14:13,699 --> 00:14:15,400
Remember? You got one.
No.

383
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:17,534
What party?
_er Ameríca's Got Talent
finale party

384
00:14:17,599 --> 00:14:19,233
over the summer.

385
00:14:20,165 --> 00:14:22,200
That's crazy. It was packed.
l thought everyone was there.

386
00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:23,599
You were there.
l remember
you being there.

387
00:14:23,666 --> 00:14:25,067
l wasn't, but thank you.

388
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,700
Hey, do you know
anything about this party?

389
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,334
Yes. l said you
definitely should go,

390
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:29,967
but you wanted
to visit me instead.

391
00:14:30,032 --> 00:14:32,634
l can't be the only one
who didn't...

392
00:14:49,466 --> 00:14:51,534
Dwight, let me see
your coffee cup.

393
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,633
No.

394
00:14:53,132 --> 00:14:54,466
ls that it?
No.

395
00:14:54,532 --> 00:14:55,766
Why? No.

396
00:14:57,799 --> 00:14:59,000
Okay, l'm going to
assume that was it.

397
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,400
Here's the thing.
l think you're right.

398
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:04,669
l think it was Kelly.
l think she's mad at us
for not coming to her party.

399
00:15:05,065 --> 00:15:07,000
Man, l knew it.
Who are her
co-conspirators?

400
00:15:07,065 --> 00:15:08,166
Probably iust Kelly.

401
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:10,233
Obviously. l knew it.

402
00:15:10,432 --> 00:15:11,432
That's what l'm saying.

403
00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:12,733
Yeah. What?

404
00:15:12,799 --> 00:15:13,799
You were right.

405
00:15:13,866 --> 00:15:15,000
l was right.

406
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,499
You were right.
l was right.

407
00:15:16,566 --> 00:15:17,600
You knew it.
l knew it.

408
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:18,700
You knew it
the whole time, buddy.

409
00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:20,167
l knew it
the whole time, buddy!

410
00:15:20,232 --> 00:15:21,600
Wow!
DWIGHT: Yeah!

411
00:15:22,065 --> 00:15:23,132
Right Dwight is loud.

412
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:24,700
Yes! l knew ít!

413
00:15:24,899 --> 00:15:26,000
Yeah!

414
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:30,634
Boom!
Kelly the whole time.
Let's get her.

415
00:15:30,699 --> 00:15:32,067
No, no, no, no.
Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.

416
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,233
Let's just
talk about this.

417
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,366
Get out of the way.

418
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:35,800
What's going on?

419
00:15:35,866 --> 00:15:37,167
Why don't
you tell us?

420
00:15:37,499 --> 00:15:38,533
Nothing's going on.

421
00:15:38,599 --> 00:15:40,000
Let me
paint you a picture

422
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,300
of a little girl
from southern India,

423
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,468
who despite being welcomed
into this country

424
00:15:44,532 --> 00:15:48,435
will now spend
the rest of her life in prison
for a crime she did commit.

425
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:49,533
Dwight.

426
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:52,134
l was informed
by these gentlemen

427
00:15:52,199 --> 00:15:53,934
that the reports
that you filed

428
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,235
may not entirely
be accurate.

429
00:15:56,432 --> 00:15:58,734
What? l don't know
what you are talking about.

430
00:15:58,799 --> 00:16:00,033
This is the first that
l'm hearing about this.

431
00:16:00,099 --> 00:16:01,133
Come on.

432
00:16:01,199 --> 00:16:02,967
You juked
the stats, cupcake.

433
00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:04,099
We called about
a dozen customers and

434
00:16:04,165 --> 00:16:06,000
they all said
that they gave us
great marks.

435
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,666
MICHAEL: What's going on?

436
00:16:10,566 --> 00:16:12,567
l love your tie, Michael.

437
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,667
Kelly...
l was raped.

438
00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:19,434
You cannot say
''l was raped''

439
00:16:19,499 --> 00:16:21,567
and expect
all your problems
to go away, Kelly.

440
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:24,034
Not again.
Don't keep doing that.

441
00:16:24,132 --> 00:16:26,067
l'll give you
one last chance
to come clean.

442
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,534
Just tell me
what happened.

443
00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:32,668
Okay, all right.
Okay, l did it.
All right? l lied.

444
00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:33,867
Whatever, iust fire me.

445
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,134
But you know what?
l did it because

446
00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:36,366
you guys didn't
come to my party,

447
00:16:36,432 --> 00:16:37,533
and you said
you would try to,

448
00:16:37,599 --> 00:16:38,866
and then you
didn't even show up,

449
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:40,734
and so you're bad friends.

450
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:42,033
We have our confession.
l'm calling security.

451
00:16:42,099 --> 00:16:43,467
Don't, don't.
Get away from that,

452
00:16:43,532 --> 00:16:44,799
Dwight, please.

453
00:16:44,866 --> 00:16:46,334
You know what?
She's got a point
about you, too.

454
00:16:46,399 --> 00:16:48,768
You do have a problem
dealing with people.

455
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
See? l wasn't lying.

456
00:16:50,065 --> 00:16:51,433
You were lying.

457
00:16:51,499 --> 00:16:52,733
l was lying.
Yes.

458
00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:54,467
Jim, Dwight,
please excuse us.

459
00:16:54,532 --> 00:16:55,799
But l want to be here
when you fire her ass.

460
00:16:55,866 --> 00:16:58,868
l will call you
when it is time.

461
00:17:04,132 --> 00:17:09,337
l have an enormous
amount of trouble

462
00:17:10,432 --> 00:17:13,234
trying to get people
to come to my place.

463
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,367
And l hate it.

464
00:17:15,866 --> 00:17:19,302
l can't tell you
how much
Ieftover guacamole

465
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:22,001
l have ended up eating
over the years.

466
00:17:23,065 --> 00:17:26,501
l don't even know
why l make it
in such great quantities.

467
00:17:26,566 --> 00:17:28,067
Here's what
we're going to do.

468
00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:30,267
We are going to
sit here for a while,

469
00:17:30,332 --> 00:17:32,267
make it look good.

470
00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:34,200
And maybe you should cry.

471
00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:35,633
Can you make yourself cry?

472
00:17:35,699 --> 00:17:36,699
No problem.

473
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,868
l think
you should do that.

474
00:17:39,499 --> 00:17:41,100
(SOBBING LOUDLY)

475
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:43,833
(LAUGHING)

476
00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:45,100
(LAUGHS)

477
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,533
Pam Beesly?

478
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:58,767
Hey. What are
you doing here?

479
00:17:58,833 --> 00:17:59,900
Who's that?

480
00:17:59,966 --> 00:18:01,267
lt's Alex.

481
00:18:01,332 --> 00:18:04,868
lt's Pam.
l came to kidnap you.

482
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:08,069
There's free wine and cheese
at the Chuck Close
retrospective. Let's go.

483
00:18:08,132 --> 00:18:10,601
That's going to be great.
Who's Chuck Close?

484
00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:13,902
l love Chuck Close
and his
photorealist paintings.

485
00:18:13,966 --> 00:18:15,233
But l have to work.

486
00:18:17,799 --> 00:18:19,000
Well, actually,
there's something else

487
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,467
l'd love to
talk to you about.

488
00:18:21,532 --> 00:18:24,368
Can we go somewhere
else to talk about it?

489
00:18:25,466 --> 00:18:26,567
Okay.

490
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,200
That's it.
l want to talk to this guy.

491
00:18:28,265 --> 00:18:29,499
Put me in his ear.

492
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,568
What's up?

493
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,200
l want to take a big leap.

494
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:35,834
And l want to tell you
that l think that
you should not

495
00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:38,001
move back to Scranton.

496
00:18:38,065 --> 00:18:39,099
Wow.

497
00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:40,966
l want to make
a bigger leap here.

498
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,500
He is into you.

499
00:18:42,566 --> 00:18:45,035
Why did you come to New York
in the first place?

500
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,733
Because they have
a great design program,

501
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:49,334
and l wanted to see
if l was any good at it.

502
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:51,300
And l wanted to
work on my art, too.

503
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:52,400
Right.

504
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,367
And that's why l think
you should stay here.

505
00:18:54,432 --> 00:18:56,934
Because, l mean,
you really
just got here,

506
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,936
you know, and you
can't do New York
in three months.

507
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,570
You know, it has everything.
All the opportunity is here,

508
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:06,135
all the...
The whole art scene
is in New York.

509
00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:08,033
You know, ít would be nuts
to go back to Scranton

510
00:19:08,099 --> 00:19:10,534
wíthout gettíng to
fully experíence ít.

511
00:19:11,132 --> 00:19:12,633
Jim's in Scranton.

512
00:19:12,699 --> 00:19:13,766
l know, but...

513
00:19:14,399 --> 00:19:17,869
All l'm saying is,
if there's even
a teeny, tiny part of you

514
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:20,101
that really wants
to be an artist,

515
00:19:20,165 --> 00:19:22,800
then l think
you should stay here,
because you don't want

516
00:19:22,866 --> 00:19:25,101
to wake up in 50 years

517
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,101
and look back
and wonder
what could have been.

518
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:31,834
And that ís
the end of my speech.

519
00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:34,268
l planned ít all.
Anyway...

520
00:19:34,866 --> 00:19:35,866
l will see you tomorrow.

521
00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:38,035
l'll see you tomorrow.

522
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,101
ls that the
Matsahashi B-400?

523
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:53,799
The world's
tiniest Bluetooth.

524
00:19:56,165 --> 00:19:57,666
May l?
Don't.

525
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,968
Congratulations on
choosing Schrute Farms
for your wedding.

526
00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,734
No, we haven't
decided
on anything yet.

527
00:20:05,799 --> 00:20:08,368
We're still
reviewing some options

528
00:20:08,432 --> 00:20:09,966
and it's going to
come down
to the numbers.

529
00:20:10,032 --> 00:20:13,668
Well, then,
why don't you look over
some of our materials,

530
00:20:15,399 --> 00:20:18,401
while l describe to you
the Excalibur package.

531
00:20:18,466 --> 00:20:20,467
ln addition to
the breathtaking
natural beauty

532
00:20:20,532 --> 00:20:22,600
and smell
of Schrute Farms,

533
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:24,901
l can promise you
that our grounds
can be catered

534
00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:27,668
to fit your
exact specifications.

535
00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:31,636
l will work tirelessly
for you
over the coming months

536
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,333
and be at your
constant disposal.

537
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:38,870
Please feel free
to call or stop by
any time of the day or night.

538
00:20:40,065 --> 00:20:41,065
That's very generous.

539
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,433
Well, you,
my good friend,

540
00:20:42,499 --> 00:20:43,600
have nothing more
to worry about.

541
00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:46,035
This wedding
is officially
out of your hands.

542
00:20:46,099 --> 00:20:48,334
Thank the good Lord. Deal!

543
00:20:48,399 --> 00:20:49,466
Okay.

544
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:51,567
What are we
talking pricewise?

545
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:53,034
You already said,
''Deal.''

546
00:20:53,099 --> 00:20:54,667
Pay him
whatever he wants.

547
00:20:54,733 --> 00:20:56,367
Can't argue with that.

548
00:20:58,032 --> 00:20:59,233
Dwight,

549
00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:05,001
you are going to
make us so happy.