1
00:00:01,223 --> 00:00:03,229
- Well, I should go.
- All right,
2
00:00:03,349 --> 00:00:05,104
I'll tell everybody here
that you say hi.
3
00:00:05,224 --> 00:00:06,919
No, don't. I'm mad at them.
4
00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:08,252
Why? What happened?
5
00:00:08,372 --> 00:00:11,635
Not one of them called
to congratulate me on our engagement.
6
00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:16,448
That they might be off the hook for,
because I didn't tell them.
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,122
What? Why not?
8
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,982
I just didn't, you know,
want to deal...
9
00:00:22,144 --> 00:00:24,004
Come on, it won't be that bad.
10
00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:26,753
You know what? Here we go.
11
00:00:28,911 --> 00:00:31,582
Everybody, just wanted
to make an announcement.
12
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,424
Pam and I are engaged.
13
00:00:33,544 --> 00:00:34,620
Hi, everyone!
14
00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:37,374
- I thought you were already engaged.
- Nope.
15
00:00:37,534 --> 00:00:39,872
That was Roy.
She was engaged to Roy.
16
00:00:40,037 --> 00:00:43,142
- Thank you, Angela.
- I got a gift for Pam and Roy.
17
00:00:43,262 --> 00:00:45,683
- Do I have to get another one?
- Yes.
18
00:00:45,803 --> 00:00:47,761
A little close
to my engagement there, Tuna.
19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,886
- What's your game here?
- To get married.
20
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:52,402
She's not a virgin, you know.
21
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,043
- What's going on?
- No, nothing. Nothing, Michael.
22
00:00:56,163 --> 00:00:57,328
Just saying hi.
23
00:00:57,647 --> 00:00:59,259
The tall guy got engaged.
24
00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:01,575
- To be married?
- Yep.
25
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:06,366
Sorry.
26
00:01:06,648 --> 00:01:09,114
Subtitles: - Feygnasse Team -
27
00:01:09,274 --> 00:01:10,615
Synch: Collioure
28
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:27,215
The Office 5x02
- Business Ethics -
29
00:01:29,852 --> 00:01:30,934
Pencils down!
30
00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:32,669
Just kidding. Take your time.
31
00:01:32,789 --> 00:01:34,182
Today is ethics day.
32
00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:37,718
After they finish the quiz,
I'm gonna run my first meeting here.
33
00:01:37,838 --> 00:01:39,775
It's gonna be in-sane!
34
00:01:41,545 --> 00:01:44,398
No, it's not.
I have to read from the binder.
35
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,032
I got it. I got it.
36
00:01:49,601 --> 00:01:52,853
I took you to an intimate restaurant
37
00:01:53,152 --> 00:01:55,636
Then to a suggestive movie
38
00:01:57,593 --> 00:02:00,399
There's nothing left to talk about
39
00:02:00,519 --> 00:02:02,837
Unless it's horizontally
40
00:02:03,902 --> 00:02:05,856
Let's get ethical,
41
00:02:06,173 --> 00:02:07,180
ethical
42
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,381
I wanna get ethical
43
00:02:10,368 --> 00:02:11,797
Let's get into ethics
44
00:02:12,538 --> 00:02:15,015
Let me hear Dunder Mifflin talk
45
00:02:15,186 --> 00:02:18,451
Your body talk
Let me hear your body talk
46
00:02:20,095 --> 00:02:22,732
Why are you helping her?
You're not even dating.
47
00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,831
She's my friend, and...
48
00:02:25,035 --> 00:02:26,632
ultimately my strategy
49
00:02:26,752 --> 00:02:28,207
is to sort of...
50
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,195
merge this into a relationship
51
00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:33,533
without her even knowing.
52
00:02:34,714 --> 00:02:37,285
OK, let's give it up for Miss...
53
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:38,674
Holly Flax!
54
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,845
Thanks, Michael.
55
00:02:42,324 --> 00:02:44,748
Today we're gonna have
a business ethics seminar,
56
00:02:44,868 --> 00:02:47,173
because recently,
without mentioning any names,
57
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,613
there has been
some misconduct at corporate.
58
00:02:49,733 --> 00:02:52,466
And we have a very strict
ethics policy,
59
00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:55,286
- and that employee has been fired.
- Come on!
60
00:02:55,406 --> 00:02:56,756
He's right there.
61
00:02:57,104 --> 00:02:58,428
He was hired.
62
00:02:58,548 --> 00:03:01,163
- Check it out... Hired guy.
- Nice.
63
00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:04,436
OK, elephant in the room.
Let's talk about it.
64
00:03:04,995 --> 00:03:06,995
Do I regret what I did?
65
00:03:07,744 --> 00:03:08,899
Of course I do.
66
00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:11,751
Even though it was an amazing ride,
and I'll give you an example.
67
00:03:11,871 --> 00:03:13,726
Anyone see Survivor, season 6?
68
00:03:14,016 --> 00:03:15,917
Anyone know Joanna on that show?
69
00:03:16,037 --> 00:03:18,096
In New York city,
I hooked up with a girl
70
00:03:18,216 --> 00:03:20,204
who looked exactly like that...
71
00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:22,374
Indistinguishable, so...
72
00:03:23,423 --> 00:03:26,672
OK. Well done. Good speech, Ryan.
You're a good guy.
73
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,377
Let's start discussing
74
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:30,587
those questionnaires
that you filled in this morning.
75
00:03:30,749 --> 00:03:33,693
"It is wrong to make personal calls
during work hours?"
76
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:36,662
Now some of you marked
that you very strongly agree.
77
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:39,179
But ideally you would've selected
"totally agree."
78
00:03:39,341 --> 00:03:41,089
I thought "very strongly agree"
79
00:03:41,209 --> 00:03:43,775
sounded stronger than "totally agree."
80
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:45,519
Corporate would like to emphasize
81
00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:48,897
that ideally you would all
totally agree with that statement.
82
00:03:49,059 --> 00:03:51,192
Well, I think
we can all totally agree
83
00:03:51,312 --> 00:03:53,871
that Holly is totally fantastic.
84
00:03:54,419 --> 00:03:55,556
Thank you.
85
00:03:57,308 --> 00:03:59,705
"In fact, spending a half hour
at the watercooler
86
00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:02,207
"during work hours
is a form of stealing."
87
00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:04,530
- What?
- Yes, it's called time theft,
88
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:06,965
and it's the same as taking money
from the company.
89
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:09,168
Can anyone think
of examples of things
90
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:10,920
that are over-the-line
time-wasters?
91
00:04:11,242 --> 00:04:12,393
This meeting.
92
00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:14,577
Can't set them up like that.
93
00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:17,296
Why is it OK for smokers
to take breaks all the time?
94
00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:20,052
If I want to go outside
and hang out once an hour,
95
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,208
I'll just take up smoking.
I'll do it. Don't care.
96
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,808
I'll smoke with you.
I got a bag of cigars in my purse.
97
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:27,582
Stealing office supplies
is another big ethical area
98
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,170
that there seems to be
some confusion about.
99
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,940
Can we have a moment?
100
00:04:32,102 --> 00:04:33,984
Can I talk to you for a second?
101
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:37,539
A lot of good stuff, and
you look... you look...
102
00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:39,292
- fantastic.
- Michael.
103
00:04:39,502 --> 00:04:41,651
What should we be working on
while you guys are talking?
104
00:04:41,771 --> 00:04:43,400
Do some... do some work.
105
00:04:44,119 --> 00:04:46,900
People expect a lot
from these meetings...
106
00:04:47,184 --> 00:04:49,262
Laughter, sudden twists,
107
00:04:49,382 --> 00:04:50,751
surprise endings.
108
00:04:50,913 --> 00:04:54,922
You need to be Robin Williams
and M. Night Shyamalan.
109
00:04:55,084 --> 00:04:56,829
You need to be Robin Shyamalan.
110
00:04:57,002 --> 00:04:58,795
Well, I just have to get
through the binder.
111
00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:01,025
- Just... you're kind of losing them.
- I am?
112
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:03,183
Don't think about the stakes.
113
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,228
- It'll freak you out.
- OK.
114
00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:08,521
Well, Michael makes
a really good point. So...
115
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,729
let's just open this up
a little bit.
116
00:05:10,891 --> 00:05:13,273
Say my name is Lauren, and...
117
00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:15,695
here I am shopping
in a supermarket,
118
00:05:15,919 --> 00:05:18,779
and I steal a pencil.
That's not right.
119
00:05:19,706 --> 00:05:21,823
Lauren, enough with the pencils.
120
00:05:21,985 --> 00:05:24,276
I have to go over pencils
and office supplies.
121
00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:27,397
- It's part of the ethics thing.
- That isn't ethics.
122
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:31,044
Ethics is a real discussion
of competing conceptions of the good.
123
00:05:31,302 --> 00:05:34,103
This is just the corporate
anti-shoplifting rules.
124
00:05:34,223 --> 00:05:35,837
I'll drop an ethics bomb on you.
125
00:05:35,999 --> 00:05:39,219
Would you steal bread
to feed your family?
126
00:05:40,318 --> 00:05:41,555
Exactly, Andy.
127
00:05:42,327 --> 00:05:45,138
I took intro to philosophy...
twice, no big deal.
128
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,827
It's a trick question.
The bread is poisoned.
129
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,726
Also, it's not your real family.
130
00:05:49,846 --> 00:05:52,384
You've been cuckolded
by a stronger, smarter male.
131
00:05:52,558 --> 00:05:54,878
No, that's not how it works.
132
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:57,701
I would not...
133
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,406
steal the bread.
134
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,656
And I would not
let my family go hungry.
135
00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:05,325
OK, but we should
get back to business.
136
00:06:05,487 --> 00:06:07,294
Have any of you ever faced
137
00:06:07,414 --> 00:06:09,746
any ethical dilemmas
in the workplace?
138
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,139
Anybody?
139
00:06:12,309 --> 00:06:15,833
This is a chance for you to say
something without any repercussions.
140
00:06:15,953 --> 00:06:16,970
Stanley?
141
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:18,880
- Oscar, come on.
- Pass.
142
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,996
I will go first.
143
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:24,697
When I discovered Youtube,
I didn't work for five days.
144
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,371
I did nothing.
145
00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:29,836
I viewed Cookie Monster
sings Chocolate Rain
146
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,338
about 1,000 times.
147
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,206
What was the dilemma?
148
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,042
To tell you or not,
and I'm glad I did.
149
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,151
I feel very, very good
and "catharctic."
150
00:06:39,495 --> 00:06:42,182
I promise you that you are not
going to get into trouble.
151
00:06:42,439 --> 00:06:46,204
You can say anything you want
with total and complete immunity.
152
00:06:47,744 --> 00:06:48,994
Come on. Anybody?
153
00:06:49,156 --> 00:06:50,265
Let it fly.
154
00:06:50,385 --> 00:06:52,832
Once in a while,
I'll take a long lunch.
155
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:55,896
- A siesta.
- Time thief. Time thief... Fire him.
156
00:06:57,331 --> 00:06:59,755
You've really never stolen
any company time?
157
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,060
Never.
158
00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:03,169
You are a thief of joy.
159
00:07:03,397 --> 00:07:04,468
Anybody else?
160
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,180
Sometimes I download pirated music
onto my work computer.
161
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,140
Who hasn't? Good. Good!
162
00:07:10,302 --> 00:07:12,566
- What else?
- No, I'd like to hear more about that.
163
00:07:12,686 --> 00:07:15,482
I once reported oscar to the I.N.S.
164
00:07:15,761 --> 00:07:18,857
Turns out he's clean,
but I'm glad I did it.
165
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,641
- Well, let's keep this party moving on.
- I'll go.
166
00:07:22,972 --> 00:07:26,574
Have you guys ever met Bruce Myers,
the Scranton rep for Hammermill?
167
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:30,589
Well, for the past six years,
I've been sleeping with him
168
00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:33,125
in exchange for discounts
on our supplies
169
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,999
and outback steakhouse
gift certificates.
170
00:07:35,638 --> 00:07:36,655
Jackpot.
171
00:07:39,054 --> 00:07:41,271
Meredith, that is serious.
172
00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:45,004
I mean, not only is that
a conflict of interest,
173
00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:47,094
but there's also
an exchange of goods.
174
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,945
Exchange of steak.
175
00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:51,087
Have you ever had
sirloin steak, honey?
176
00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:52,337
That's crazy.
177
00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:54,225
That's crazy talk.
178
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,106
The "Merenator",
sleeping with suppliers.
179
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,764
What time we got?
You know what?
180
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:07,094
That's a good place
to end it, right there.
181
00:08:07,214 --> 00:08:10,047
This, I think,
was a great ethics seminar.
182
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:13,473
She has given us a lot
of wonderful things to think about.
183
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:14,612
Right,
184
00:08:14,732 --> 00:08:16,127
what is wrong...
185
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,812
Who's to say, really, in the end?
186
00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:21,216
I mean, because it is unknowable,
187
00:08:21,842 --> 00:08:24,892
but let's give her a round of applause.
Holly, everybody.
188
00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:27,049
Get back to work.
189
00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:29,299
Great job.
190
00:08:29,935 --> 00:08:31,815
I am truly impressed.
191
00:08:32,397 --> 00:08:35,810
That... You really pulled that one out.
Classic, classic meeting.
192
00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,094
We should celebrate.
193
00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:40,203
There are some serious
issues with Meredith.
194
00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:43,003
I mean, all of you have done things
I wouldn't have done myself,
195
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,391
but Meredith's actions
are really over the line.
196
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:48,333
What you gonna do?
197
00:08:54,155 --> 00:08:56,182
So, regarding the supplier,
198
00:08:56,877 --> 00:08:59,966
approximately how many liaisons
have there been?
199
00:09:00,086 --> 00:09:02,056
Liaisons? You mean meet-ups?
200
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:03,243
I don't know.
201
00:09:03,363 --> 00:09:06,010
Once a month for six years,
something like that.
202
00:09:06,252 --> 00:09:08,667
Meredith, why don't you tell Holly
203
00:09:08,787 --> 00:09:10,458
it's not what she thinks,
204
00:09:10,578 --> 00:09:12,525
nothing unethical happened,
205
00:09:12,914 --> 00:09:16,065
and that you just
like to sleep around.
206
00:09:16,637 --> 00:09:18,144
Am I in trouble here or something?
207
00:09:18,304 --> 00:09:20,938
No. This is just
a stupid formality.
208
00:09:21,403 --> 00:09:23,705
No, it's not a formality.
209
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,074
Now, were these...
210
00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:27,412
meet-ups,
211
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,448
just personal,
unrelated to business?
212
00:09:30,729 --> 00:09:33,732
No. I wouldn't have done it
if it wasn't for the discount paper.
213
00:09:33,852 --> 00:09:35,822
There's not a lot of fruit
in those looms.
214
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,331
For the love of god, we're trying
to help you, you stupid bag.
215
00:09:39,451 --> 00:09:41,715
What I don't understand is...
216
00:09:42,132 --> 00:09:44,089
why the steak coupons,
217
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,089
I mean, if you were already
getting the discounted paper?
218
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:48,894
Well, it's funny.
219
00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:50,927
Maybe it's a girl thing, but...
220
00:09:51,346 --> 00:09:52,769
after we did it,
221
00:09:52,889 --> 00:09:55,067
when he would give me
those coupons,
222
00:09:55,187 --> 00:09:57,516
I just felt good about myself.
223
00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:04,899
What's going on here?
I thought I had immunity.
224
00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:08,071
Well, unfortunately, immunity,
or something being off the record
225
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,192
does not really exist
in the workplace.
226
00:10:10,312 --> 00:10:11,656
I've never heard of anyone
227
00:10:11,816 --> 00:10:14,027
who kept their job
after something like this.
228
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,172
Well, I'm not quitting.
229
00:10:28,887 --> 00:10:30,508
Yawn... Four seconds.
230
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:33,785
What are you doing?
231
00:10:33,905 --> 00:10:36,518
You had said that you don't do anything
personal during work time, so...
232
00:10:36,638 --> 00:10:38,109
I'm just making sure.
233
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,279
Wait a minute. So you're gonna time me
every time I yawn?
234
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,654
That's absurd. Really?
235
00:10:44,335 --> 00:10:47,900
Hey, look, monkey knows
how to use a stopwatch, everybody.
236
00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,201
He's ti...
237
00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:56,951
Personal conversation...
17 seconds.
238
00:10:57,386 --> 00:10:59,456
There is no way that that was...
239
00:11:01,048 --> 00:11:02,256
One second.
240
00:11:07,104 --> 00:11:08,504
Holly-lujah.
241
00:11:09,184 --> 00:11:11,382
It's a miracle.
You're at your desk.
242
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,379
It's mike-raculous.
243
00:11:14,988 --> 00:11:15,970
Reaching!
244
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,215
You'll get there.
245
00:11:17,335 --> 00:11:19,493
Anyway,
I was giving it some thought,
246
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,253
and there's no reason
247
00:11:21,373 --> 00:11:24,305
that two attractive,
good-looking...
248
00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:26,748
intelligent, funny,
249
00:11:27,623 --> 00:11:29,709
attractive people can't,
250
00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:33,031
you know, just sit down
and work this whole Meredith thing out.
251
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,390
Sounds good.
252
00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:35,614
Good.
253
00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:38,521
Would you care
to bang it out over lunch?
254
00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:40,536
I already bought this.
255
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:43,597
Your food...
256
00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:45,870
is no good here, my lady.
257
00:11:47,376 --> 00:11:48,383
Sorry.
258
00:11:49,181 --> 00:11:50,963
You know what? Let's go out,
259
00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:53,049
Dunder Mifflin's treat.
260
00:11:55,479 --> 00:11:58,139
Actually, you're not a client, so...
261
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,805
we'll just split it?
262
00:12:00,358 --> 00:12:01,380
Ethical.
263
00:12:05,602 --> 00:12:08,691
- So I've gone over corporate policy.
- What do you think?
264
00:12:09,468 --> 00:12:11,017
What do you think of this place?
265
00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:12,756
- It's very nice.
- Isn't it?
266
00:12:12,876 --> 00:12:14,986
It's kind of business/romantic.
267
00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:17,989
So you're from Des Moines?
268
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:19,831
That sounds so...
269
00:12:19,951 --> 00:12:20,884
warm.
270
00:12:21,729 --> 00:12:22,793
In summer.
271
00:12:23,829 --> 00:12:26,498
Here too. You know
what my favorite season is?
272
00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,784
Maybe we should talk
about Meredith first.
273
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:30,814
Yes. Get the boring stuff
out of the way.
274
00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:33,898
Autumn was what I was gonna say.
When the leaves change.
275
00:12:34,135 --> 00:12:38,176
It's just... I think it's the most
contemplative of seasons.
276
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,978
OK, so I've gone over this,
and I've thought about it,
277
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:45,067
and I just don't think
there's any way I can write a report
278
00:12:45,187 --> 00:12:47,672
that doesn't end
with her being terminated.
279
00:12:48,986 --> 00:12:50,180
Terminator.
280
00:12:52,275 --> 00:12:53,650
I'm from the future.
281
00:12:56,629 --> 00:12:57,780
Hey, Andy.
282
00:12:59,102 --> 00:13:01,908
By any chance, did you see
Battlestar Galactica last night?
283
00:13:02,028 --> 00:13:04,400
No, I did not.
Is that any good?
284
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,558
Actually not. It is really so-so.
285
00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:11,396
I mean, I like
all the crazy monsters and stuff,
286
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:14,141
you know, like Klingons
and Wookies and...
287
00:13:14,803 --> 00:13:16,240
all that, but...
288
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,576
Sorry, was there something
you wanted to add, Dwight?
289
00:13:22,795 --> 00:13:25,577
Is that anything like
the original Battlestar Galactica?
290
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:26,975
You know, it's weird.
291
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,581
It's practically
a shot-for-shot remake.
292
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:30,867
Really?
293
00:13:32,784 --> 00:13:34,036
That's cool.
294
00:13:34,156 --> 00:13:35,587
Story's kind of bland.
295
00:13:35,707 --> 00:13:37,875
It's about this guy
named Dumbledore Calrissian,
296
00:13:37,995 --> 00:13:41,128
Who needs to return the ring
back to Mordor.
297
00:13:41,248 --> 00:13:42,498
It's really...
298
00:13:42,618 --> 00:13:44,285
That doesn't sound right.
299
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,599
I just don't want my employees
300
00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:51,406
thinking that their jobs
depend on performance.
301
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:53,063
I mean...
302
00:13:53,825 --> 00:13:56,634
What sort of place is that
to call home?
303
00:13:56,995 --> 00:13:58,830
And Meredith needs this job.
304
00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:00,717
This is her main source of money.
305
00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:03,978
That's very sweet,
but we have to follow the protocol.
306
00:14:04,098 --> 00:14:05,431
Those are the rules.
307
00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:08,183
New idea. We don't report at all.
We just punish her.
308
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:09,601
We punish her?
309
00:14:09,762 --> 00:14:11,875
Tell her, can't have sex
for 6 months.
310
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,272
I don't think
we could enforce that.
311
00:14:14,435 --> 00:14:16,487
I don't know. I saw this thing...
312
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:19,027
- Like a belt with a key.
- A chastity belt.
313
00:14:19,284 --> 00:14:20,891
Yeah, it's more of a...
314
00:14:21,353 --> 00:14:24,119
Underwear garment
that has little spikes,
315
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,951
like, made of... I think sometimes
they're made of metal.
316
00:14:27,114 --> 00:14:29,007
You know what I'm talking about.
317
00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:31,552
You unlock a little door that...
318
00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:33,135
Down...
319
00:14:34,228 --> 00:14:36,248
Where you... Where you put...
320
00:14:36,368 --> 00:14:38,172
Where you put the...
321
00:14:44,495 --> 00:14:46,696
He has not stopped working
322
00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:48,723
for a second.
323
00:14:49,425 --> 00:14:51,242
At 12:45, he sneezed
324
00:14:52,199 --> 00:14:54,355
while keeping his eyes open,
325
00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:56,940
which I always thought
was impossible.
326
00:14:57,434 --> 00:14:59,037
At 1:32, he peed,
327
00:14:59,157 --> 00:15:00,739
and I know that because he did it
328
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,041
in an open soda bottle
under the desk
329
00:15:03,161 --> 00:15:05,210
while filling out expense reports.
330
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,655
And on the flip side,
I've been so busy watching him
331
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,738
that I haven't even started work.
332
00:15:10,138 --> 00:15:12,886
It's exhausting
being this vigilant.
333
00:15:13,839 --> 00:15:15,959
I'll probably have
to go home early today.
334
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,427
I am just saying
335
00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:21,548
that I don't think that
you understand what I am saying.
336
00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:25,470
No, you are saying that
we should sweep it under the carpet,
337
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:29,067
accept the discount on supplies,
not fire Meredith,
338
00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:31,831
and pretend like the whole thing
never happened.
339
00:15:32,219 --> 00:15:33,024
Yes.
340
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,789
- What am I saying?
- Well...
341
00:15:37,358 --> 00:15:38,648
Busted. I don't...
342
00:15:38,809 --> 00:15:41,977
I'm saying that her behavior
is unethical and a little icky,
343
00:15:42,294 --> 00:15:44,491
and I don't think I want to work
in an environment
344
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,656
where that sort of conduct
is tolerated.
345
00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:49,161
You have to tolerate a lot
when you're part of a family.
346
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,953
It's not a family.
It's a workplace.
347
00:16:05,774 --> 00:16:08,073
I will be honest with you,
that car ride
348
00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:09,742
did not go well.
349
00:16:10,412 --> 00:16:12,495
And that was not my fault.
350
00:16:12,615 --> 00:16:14,797
The only reason I am standing
out here right now
351
00:16:14,917 --> 00:16:18,432
is because I don't want to take
the elevator with her.
352
00:16:18,918 --> 00:16:21,756
And I am holding on
to her leftovers.
353
00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:37,987
19 minutes and 48 seconds.
354
00:16:39,075 --> 00:16:41,252
What were we doing
for 19 minutes and 48 seconds?
355
00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:43,093
None of your business.
356
00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:47,129
So I guess I can assume that was...
357
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:48,325
personal.
358
00:16:54,368 --> 00:16:55,217
Fine.
359
00:16:56,592 --> 00:17:00,365
So maybe you're not
completely ethical after all.
360
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:02,276
Yes...
361
00:17:03,241 --> 00:17:04,493
Maybe I'm not.
362
00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:25,515
It's been a little tense.
363
00:17:26,351 --> 00:17:28,711
People are suspicious of me,
364
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:32,345
and my best friend in the office
won't even talk to me.
365
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:36,444
Turns out being the morality police
does not make you popular.
366
00:17:36,564 --> 00:17:39,381
I should know, because in middle school,
I was the hall monitor,
367
00:17:39,501 --> 00:17:42,251
and the kids used to stuff
egg salad in my locker.
368
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,506
I was just hoping
middle school was over.
369
00:17:51,088 --> 00:17:54,242
Kendall from corporate H.R. is on line 1
and Holly's on her way too.
370
00:17:54,819 --> 00:17:56,870
What's the only thing worse
than one H.R. Rep?
371
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,621
Two H.R. Reps.
372
00:17:58,741 --> 00:17:59,832
You get me.
373
00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:02,458
Can I sit?
374
00:18:02,855 --> 00:18:04,236
I don't know. Can you?
375
00:18:06,575 --> 00:18:08,104
Kendall, my main man.
376
00:18:08,224 --> 00:18:10,104
Listen, Holly, Michael,
377
00:18:10,224 --> 00:18:13,212
I just got the report that your branch
submitted, and there's a lot of stuff
378
00:18:13,332 --> 00:18:15,284
about a relationship
Meredith is having...
379
00:18:15,404 --> 00:18:17,453
Yes, that came out
during the ethics seminar.
380
00:18:17,573 --> 00:18:21,199
And let the record show that it was
during the immunity part of the seminar.
381
00:18:21,319 --> 00:18:24,188
I'm not sure these circumstances
warrant any action.
382
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:26,495
I think it's pretty clear
it was unethical.
383
00:18:26,615 --> 00:18:29,014
From what I can gather,
it seems like a gray area.
384
00:18:29,134 --> 00:18:31,352
Look, to be honest,
the company's getting a discount
385
00:18:31,472 --> 00:18:33,169
at a tough time in our balance sheet,
386
00:18:33,289 --> 00:18:35,401
I don't know that the right
thing to do for the company
387
00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:37,139
is to turn our noses up at that.
388
00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:40,643
Kendall, I understand that the discount
is good for the company,
389
00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:43,833
but I'm just not happy
about the way we're getting it.
390
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:47,242
I thought it was
clear with you, Holly.
391
00:18:47,362 --> 00:18:49,785
Your task was to get signatures
from the employees
392
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:51,793
showing that
they completed the training.
393
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:52,977
I understand...
394
00:18:53,097 --> 00:18:55,178
Cause every other branch
has managed to get those.
395
00:18:55,339 --> 00:18:58,181
If it's not something you can handle,
then that's a different discussion.
396
00:18:58,342 --> 00:19:00,348
- No, I can do it.
- Good.
397
00:19:06,587 --> 00:19:10,285
How do you tell somebody
that you care about deeply,
398
00:19:10,893 --> 00:19:12,429
"I told you so"?
399
00:19:13,538 --> 00:19:15,351
Gently? With a rose?
400
00:19:17,654 --> 00:19:18,981
In a funny way,
401
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:21,392
like it's a hilarious joke?
402
00:19:23,906 --> 00:19:25,960
Or do you just let it go
403
00:19:26,517 --> 00:19:29,244
because saying it
would just make things worse?
404
00:19:31,914 --> 00:19:33,853
Probably the funny way.
405
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:36,094
Can I have everyone's attention?
406
00:19:37,548 --> 00:19:40,886
Excuse me! May I have
everyone's attention, please?
407
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,392
We need to finish
the ethics seminar.
408
00:19:43,553 --> 00:19:45,495
- No way, lady.
- It's a trap.
409
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,801
Everyone, please,
I just need your signatures
410
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,817
to show corporate
I gave you the training.
411
00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:52,132
- Don't sign anything.
- OK, everybody listen up.
412
00:19:52,252 --> 00:19:54,465
If you are not in that
conference room in 2 minutes,
413
00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:55,927
I'm going to kill you.
414
00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:58,992
It's a quarter to 5:00,
and I have started to gather my things.
415
00:19:59,153 --> 00:20:02,705
Get in there right now,
or I'm gonna lose it!
416
00:20:13,802 --> 00:20:17,284
- Am I getting fired?
- Now is really not the time, Meredith.
417
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,016
In this next section,
we examine the difference
418
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,712
between sick days
and personal days.
419
00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:25,714
Sick days are only to be used
420
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:28,646
when an illness precludes you
from doing your job
421
00:20:28,809 --> 00:20:31,253
or can spread to your coworkers.
422
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,861
Personal days, on the other hand,
are much more flexible.
423
00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:39,458
Thank you, Meredith.
This was delicious.
424
00:20:39,578 --> 00:20:41,133
Where's the steak sauce?
425
00:20:42,118 --> 00:20:43,422
I think we're out.
426
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,168
I got some in my minivan somewhere.
427
00:20:47,786 --> 00:20:48,917
Wait a second.
428
00:20:49,037 --> 00:20:50,711
How does the steak factor in again?
429
00:20:50,871 --> 00:20:53,088
I think she got it as a tip,
430
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,507
but I don't know
why she didn't just take cash.
431
00:20:55,677 --> 00:20:58,227
I don't care what she's doing.
I hope she just keeps doing it.
432
00:20:58,347 --> 00:21:00,848
Amen, just keep the ribs coming.