1
00:00:00,828 --> 00:00:01,957
Hold it!
2
00:00:05,776 --> 00:00:08,194
New glasses.
3
00:00:11,932 --> 00:00:15,334
Dwight, what a ridiculous,
fancy clown you are.
4
00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:19,555
I am dressed according to
the Schrute codes of mourning.
5
00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:20,990
My aunt Shirley has died.
6
00:00:21,024 --> 00:00:22,958
Oh, Dwight, I'm so sorry.
7
00:00:22,993 --> 00:00:24,794
Were you guys close?
8
00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:25,978
I would say that she raised me,
9
00:00:26,012 --> 00:00:27,029
but let's not kid each other.
10
00:00:27,063 --> 00:00:28,397
I raised myself.
11
00:00:28,431 --> 00:00:29,532
She was, however,
12
00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:31,033
the closest thing
I had to a mother.
13
00:00:31,051 --> 00:00:33,469
My actual mother
was very cold and distant.
14
00:00:33,503 --> 00:00:35,070
I'd say she was
the closest thing I had
15
00:00:35,105 --> 00:00:36,705
to an aunt.
16
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,607
- My condolences.
- Keep them!
17
00:00:38,642 --> 00:00:40,209
Okay. Now, what do we got
in these two pails?
18
00:00:40,227 --> 00:00:41,710
In keeping with Schrute custom,
19
00:00:41,728 --> 00:00:44,096
I will either invite you
to Saturday's funeral
20
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:48,050
by sprinkling red,
fertile dirt in your face,
21
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:50,102
or I will ask you
to keep a respectful distance
22
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,687
during my time of grief,
23
00:00:51,721 --> 00:00:54,790
with a dusting of black,
slightly acidic soil.
24
00:00:59,796 --> 00:01:01,096
What color is it?
25
00:01:01,131 --> 00:01:02,598
It looks pretty black.
26
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:07,419
[Spits]
27
00:01:11,141 --> 00:01:13,642
Yep.
Acidic all right.
28
00:01:15,445 --> 00:01:17,563
[Whispering] Oh, thank God.
29
00:01:17,597 --> 00:01:18,898
Excuse me?
30
00:01:18,932 --> 00:01:20,182
Oh, I'm so sorry, Dwight.
31
00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:21,817
And if you want me to be there,
32
00:01:21,852 --> 00:01:23,953
of course I will go.
33
00:01:23,987 --> 00:01:26,255
It's just... I have
a personal training session.
34
00:01:26,289 --> 00:01:28,307
Okay, that's not--
35
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,544
- I get red dirt.
36
00:01:31,578 --> 00:01:32,728
Nobody is getting red dirt.
37
00:01:32,746 --> 00:01:35,114
I should've kept my mouth shut.
38
00:01:35,165 --> 00:01:36,398
We're not even that close.
39
00:01:36,433 --> 00:01:38,551
I've only known Dwight
12 years.
40
00:01:38,585 --> 00:01:40,569
12 years.
41
00:01:40,587 --> 00:01:42,755
Time is a son of a bitch.
42
00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:49,795
I'm sure-- I'm sure
she's in a better place.
43
00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:53,916
[Whispering] I really hope so.
44
00:01:55,084 --> 00:01:57,369
Okay, now this is crazy.
45
00:01:57,404 --> 00:01:59,972
You can't make a dirtball--
46
00:02:00,006 --> 00:02:01,640
- [Crying] I miss her so much.
- Okay.
47
00:02:01,675 --> 00:02:04,293
- You know?
- [Sighs]
48
00:02:04,311 --> 00:02:05,594
Aah!
49
00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:08,514
[Cheerful music]
50
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,495
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:32,621
♪ There's a bright
golden haze ♪
52
00:02:32,656 --> 00:02:34,340
[Guitar playing]
♪ on the meadow ♪
53
00:02:34,374 --> 00:02:37,459
♪ a bright golden haze
on the meadow ♪
54
00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:39,461
[Engine running]
55
00:02:40,997 --> 00:02:43,399
- Ziek's here.
- Ziek!
56
00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,251
Hey, Dwight.
57
00:02:45,285 --> 00:02:47,086
Mose, mom says hi.
58
00:02:47,137 --> 00:02:50,005
Hi to mom.
59
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,257
You going?
60
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,608
Will there be ghosts there?
61
00:02:52,642 --> 00:02:56,328
- [Sighs] Get in the sidecar.
- Get in the sidecar.
62
00:02:56,363 --> 00:02:57,630
Get in the sidecar.
63
00:02:57,664 --> 00:02:58,664
- You get in the sidecar.
- Get--
64
00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:07,373
What are you doing here?
65
00:03:07,407 --> 00:03:08,507
You invited me.
66
00:03:08,558 --> 00:03:10,059
You threw the red dirt
in my face.
67
00:03:10,093 --> 00:03:12,427
Oh, yeah.
[Laughs]
68
00:03:13,713 --> 00:03:15,047
[Horn honking] Who is that?
69
00:03:15,081 --> 00:03:16,749
Jeb, my brother.
70
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,751
- You have a brother?
- Mm-hmm.
71
00:03:18,802 --> 00:03:20,803
I didn't really see
a better parking spot.
72
00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:22,388
Oh!
73
00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:24,957
Look what I did.
[Chuckles]
74
00:03:24,991 --> 00:03:25,991
[Car door slams]
75
00:03:26,026 --> 00:03:28,761
It's a rental.
76
00:03:31,247 --> 00:03:34,216
[Both grunting]
77
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,484
- You wanna go in?
- No, you do!
78
00:03:35,518 --> 00:03:36,819
You wanna go in?
You wanna go in?
79
00:03:36,853 --> 00:03:38,570
- I'll put you in there.
- Okay, I'll put you--
80
00:03:38,605 --> 00:03:39,822
- Here we go.
- Oh!
81
00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:41,023
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
82
00:03:41,057 --> 00:03:42,725
Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
Uncle! Uncle! Oh!
83
00:03:44,627 --> 00:03:47,396
- Oh, gosh.
- Hey, moonface.
84
00:03:47,430 --> 00:03:50,666
Nice to see those shiny
little Chinese eyes of yours.
85
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,701
Who's this guy?
86
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:55,237
- Bad.
- Hi, all!
87
00:03:55,271 --> 00:03:56,972
Why are you here, Todd?
88
00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:59,375
Okay, let's get right to it,
I guess.
89
00:03:59,409 --> 00:04:02,144
My name is Todd Packer,
and I am in recovery.
90
00:04:02,178 --> 00:04:03,595
I'm working the steps.
91
00:04:03,647 --> 00:04:06,498
I'm on step eight
of Alcoholics Anonymous,
92
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,817
step nine
of Narcotics Anonymous.
93
00:04:08,835 --> 00:04:10,602
I'm here to make amends.
94
00:04:10,637 --> 00:04:13,772
I've been hard to deal with
over the past years.
95
00:04:13,823 --> 00:04:16,492
Kind of a jerk.
I know it.
96
00:04:16,526 --> 00:04:19,044
I don't need you
to accept my apology,
97
00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:21,730
but I'd love it if you did.
98
00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:23,799
Packer, we accept.
99
00:04:23,817 --> 00:04:25,401
[All protesting]
100
00:04:25,435 --> 00:04:26,568
Actually,
they have a specific way
101
00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:28,387
I need to do this,
102
00:04:28,421 --> 00:04:29,788
and I have to go through
examples of stuff.
103
00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:31,757
Okay, uh, where to begin?
104
00:04:31,791 --> 00:04:33,258
Hey...
105
00:04:33,293 --> 00:04:35,561
Pam-Pam
and her pam-pams.
106
00:04:35,595 --> 00:04:39,915
Well, I have said
some crude things about those.
107
00:04:39,949 --> 00:04:41,984
But they are beautiful,
108
00:04:42,018 --> 00:04:45,304
and I guess
that's why I acted out.
109
00:04:45,338 --> 00:04:48,691
Pam, I'm sorry
I objectified you
110
00:04:48,725 --> 00:04:51,810
and personified your breasts.
111
00:04:51,845 --> 00:04:54,930
Sorry, guys.
112
00:04:54,964 --> 00:04:56,432
Oh, boy.
113
00:04:56,466 --> 00:05:00,569
I have not been nice to you.
114
00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:01,787
Phylly,
115
00:05:01,821 --> 00:05:05,207
I'm sorry for the things
I said about your size
116
00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:07,342
to your face, behind your back,
117
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,511
and in the form of drawings.
118
00:05:09,529 --> 00:05:11,613
Actually, that goes to
all you double XLs.
119
00:05:11,647 --> 00:05:13,599
Stanley, Kevin...
120
00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:15,501
this kid in a few years.
121
00:05:15,552 --> 00:05:18,387
Todd, you're just
saying insults
122
00:05:18,421 --> 00:05:20,055
in the form of an apology.
123
00:05:20,089 --> 00:05:22,341
Why can't I just be nice?
124
00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:27,012
Truth is I really like you guys.
I really do.
125
00:05:27,046 --> 00:05:30,916
Okay, the apology's
just half of it.
126
00:05:30,967 --> 00:05:32,918
The big thing is making amends,
127
00:05:32,969 --> 00:05:35,053
and that's why I brought these.
128
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:37,005
I went out
to the Steamtown mall,
129
00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:40,208
and I got you all cupcakes
from that place Nipples.
130
00:05:40,226 --> 00:05:42,377
Think it's called Nibbles.
131
00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:44,980
Ha. The mind sees
what it wants to, huh?
132
00:05:45,014 --> 00:05:46,682
Ohh...
133
00:05:46,716 --> 00:05:49,735
there you go.
134
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,408
Hey, hey, guys.
Wait.
135
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,076
Before we accept
these cupcakes,
136
00:05:58,111 --> 00:06:00,412
I think we need to have
a conversation privately
137
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,997
in the conference room.
138
00:06:02,031 --> 00:06:03,665
Don't eat the cupcake.
139
00:06:05,804 --> 00:06:08,768
We are here today
140
00:06:08,857 --> 00:06:13,160
to join this woman
on the ground....
141
00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:14,778
Man is born of woman,
142
00:06:14,796 --> 00:06:18,482
and his life
is full of turmoil.
143
00:06:18,516 --> 00:06:20,617
[Laughs]
144
00:06:20,651 --> 00:06:22,786
It's crap soil.
Nothing's gonna grow here.
145
00:06:22,821 --> 00:06:24,771
It doesn't matter.
It's a cemetery.
146
00:06:24,806 --> 00:06:27,274
Yeah, well, I'm saying
it's garbage soil, that's all.
147
00:06:27,325 --> 00:06:29,326
Well, the only thing we're
planting here is dead bodies.
148
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:31,495
That's fine,
'cause they're not gonna grow.
149
00:06:31,529 --> 00:06:33,297
Well, thank God they're not,
150
00:06:33,331 --> 00:06:34,731
because we don't wanna
make zombies.
151
00:06:34,749 --> 00:06:36,850
Good. I agree.
Don't worry about it.
152
00:06:36,885 --> 00:06:38,535
You won't get any.
153
00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:41,154
Would the family care
to say something?
154
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:47,811
You had black hair
and then gray hair.
155
00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:51,999
You were the aunt
to my cousins.
156
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,218
Most of your life,
you were 5'4".
157
00:06:54,252 --> 00:06:56,920
At the end, you were 5'1".
158
00:07:00,792 --> 00:07:03,393
They're a descriptive people.
159
00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,414
[Whispering] I see
you started without me.
160
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:10,067
You were late, so...
what am I supposed to do?
161
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:11,518
- Hi, Fanny.
- Hey.
162
00:07:11,553 --> 00:07:13,203
- How are you?
- Who is that?
163
00:07:13,221 --> 00:07:15,138
- Dwight's sister.
- Dwight has a sister?
164
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:17,024
Yeah.
165
00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:18,525
She's beautiful.
166
00:07:18,576 --> 00:07:20,177
Blech.
[Scoffs]
167
00:07:20,211 --> 00:07:23,964
Hello, little man.
Haven't seen you in a few years.
168
00:07:24,015 --> 00:07:26,950
Wha-- what is this--
oh, God.
169
00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:29,069
[Inaudible]
What'd he--
170
00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,407
- Henry.
- Dwight.
171
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:35,826
I see Esther's back in town.
172
00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,427
Hi, Dwight.
173
00:07:37,462 --> 00:07:39,763
Hi, Esther.
Nice of you to come today.
174
00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:43,633
This was on the way.
We're going into town after.
175
00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:45,736
I need yarn.
176
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,421
Well, if you can snap
two chicken necks
177
00:07:47,455 --> 00:07:48,755
with a single motion,
178
00:07:48,806 --> 00:07:51,441
why use two motions
to slaughter those chickens?
179
00:07:51,476 --> 00:07:53,977
[Chuckles]
180
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,329
We're at a funeral.
There's a funeral going on here.
181
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,047
- Okay.
- Okay.
182
00:07:57,081 --> 00:07:59,399
- Anyone mention her height?
- Yep.
183
00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:03,287
Land size?
184
00:08:03,321 --> 00:08:06,089
Shirley, at 1,600 acres,
185
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:08,091
you have the largest farm
in the area,
186
00:08:08,109 --> 00:08:10,727
sharing borders
with six other farms
187
00:08:10,745 --> 00:08:14,998
including my own farm
and your nephew Dwight's.
188
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,702
Okay.
189
00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:25,125
So... let's get it going.
190
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,194
Would you want to do
the honors?
191
00:08:27,228 --> 00:08:28,812
Oh, right, uh...
192
00:08:28,846 --> 00:08:30,881
you know, I-I don't think
we have to do this.
193
00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:32,833
We Schrutes don't need
some Harvard doctor
194
00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:35,302
to tell us
who's alive and who's dead.
195
00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:39,289
But there was an unlucky streak
of burying some heavy sleepers.
196
00:08:39,324 --> 00:08:41,975
And when grave robbers
discovered some scratch marks
197
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:44,394
on the inside of some
of the coffins,
198
00:08:44,429 --> 00:08:48,215
we decided to make sure that
our dead were completely dead...
199
00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:49,783
out of kindness.
200
00:08:53,204 --> 00:08:54,538
[Rifle cocks]
201
00:08:54,572 --> 00:08:55,572
[Gunshot]
202
00:08:56,658 --> 00:08:58,392
That's it for me.
203
00:08:59,861 --> 00:09:01,911
I don't think
we should eat Packer's cupcakes.
204
00:09:01,929 --> 00:09:03,363
We can't give him
the satisfaction.
205
00:09:03,398 --> 00:09:04,848
I agree.
206
00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:06,767
Even though that place has
a way of making those cupcakes
207
00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:08,935
so they're dense
but they're also really fluffy.
208
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:11,304
We can't let him buy
our forgiveness with cupcakes.
209
00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:13,223
He was awful to us.
210
00:09:13,257 --> 00:09:15,158
And he still is.
211
00:09:15,193 --> 00:09:17,394
How much is a cupcake,
2.50?
212
00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:18,829
Is that the price
of our dignity?
213
00:09:18,863 --> 00:09:22,733
3.75 a cupcake actually,
3.67 if you buy a dozen.
214
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:24,067
I never forget a number.
215
00:09:24,102 --> 00:09:25,986
Names, in one ear
and out the other.
216
00:09:26,037 --> 00:09:29,723
Places, nope.
Faces, that's rich.
217
00:09:29,757 --> 00:09:31,358
But numbers...
218
00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:33,527
I have a gift.
219
00:09:33,578 --> 00:09:35,729
I guess that's why
I'm an accountant.
220
00:09:37,632 --> 00:09:38,999
Hey, man,
I don't think we've met.
221
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:40,917
- I'm Clark.
- Oh, I'm Todd.
222
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:44,888
Oh, sorry for calling you
a fat little runt earlier.
223
00:09:44,922 --> 00:09:47,207
You didn't actually say that.
224
00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:48,575
- No?
- No.
225
00:09:48,626 --> 00:09:50,210
Wow!
226
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:51,694
I'm in this mode now
227
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:53,146
where I'm apologizing for
thoughts that are in my head.
228
00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:55,132
Hmm.
[Forced chuckle]
229
00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:56,566
Hey!
230
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,236
I have a crazy feeling...
231
00:09:59,270 --> 00:10:01,988
that you are really
gonna like this.
232
00:10:02,023 --> 00:10:03,724
Maybe we should
eat the cupcakes.
233
00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:05,842
Haven't we done enough
to Packer?
234
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,078
I mean, we sent him down
to Florida on a prank,
235
00:10:08,112 --> 00:10:09,329
and you did fire him.
236
00:10:09,363 --> 00:10:10,697
I did.
I did, yes.
237
00:10:10,748 --> 00:10:12,933
And it was purely political.
He did nothing wrong.
238
00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:14,301
Would any of you be saying
any of this
239
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,786
if the cupcakes were
from Supermart?
240
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,571
Do they even
have a bakery anymore?
241
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:19,156
They do.
It's awful!
242
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:21,475
And it's getting worse
every day.
243
00:10:21,509 --> 00:10:24,094
So it really is
just about the cupcakes.
244
00:10:24,128 --> 00:10:25,762
Wow, you're right.
245
00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:27,848
It is just about the cupcakes.
246
00:10:27,882 --> 00:10:31,368
So we're all agreed
no one touches those cupcakes?
247
00:10:32,186 --> 00:10:34,221
- Okay.
- Okay.
248
00:10:34,272 --> 00:10:36,423
Packer can go to hell.
249
00:10:37,992 --> 00:10:41,211
Thank you for coming
to my funeral.
250
00:10:41,245 --> 00:10:44,181
As I gaze at life's big sunset,
251
00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:47,417
I can't help but wonder
where it all went wrong.
252
00:10:47,452 --> 00:10:50,821
You've all disappointed me
greatly.
253
00:10:50,855 --> 00:10:53,540
Fanny, a single mama
in the city.
254
00:10:53,574 --> 00:10:54,691
Thank you.
255
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:57,043
Jeb, a street pusher.
256
00:10:57,095 --> 00:10:58,328
After I left the army,
257
00:10:58,346 --> 00:11:00,630
I bought a nine-acre
worm farm
258
00:11:00,648 --> 00:11:01,915
from a Californian.
259
00:11:01,949 --> 00:11:04,901
Turns out,
260
00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:08,038
"worm" means something else
out there,
261
00:11:08,072 --> 00:11:12,559
and I am now
in the business of...
262
00:11:12,593 --> 00:11:14,878
pain management.
263
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:19,049
Or the smoking
of pain management.
264
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:21,951
I can't stand the fact
that Jeb is a pot farmer.
265
00:11:21,969 --> 00:11:23,804
He could've grown anything.
266
00:11:23,838 --> 00:11:25,755
Anything in the world.
267
00:11:25,789 --> 00:11:29,309
He used to talk about
growing a peanut-grape hybrid.
268
00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:32,462
One plant, one sandwich.
269
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,147
We can't just sit by
270
00:11:34,182 --> 00:11:37,300
and watch our family farm
disappear.
271
00:11:37,318 --> 00:11:39,102
So here are my terms.
272
00:11:39,136 --> 00:11:40,970
Dwight, Fanny, Jeb.
273
00:11:40,988 --> 00:11:46,993
If you come back home,
I will leave you my farm.
274
00:11:47,028 --> 00:11:49,663
- So there you have it.
- Is she crazy?
275
00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:51,414
- Dwight?
- Dwight? Buddy?
276
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,699
- No, no, no.
- Snap out of it.
277
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,983
[Snapping fingers] Dwight!
278
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,890
Let's do this.
279
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,025
Let's run Aunt Shirley's farm.
280
00:11:59,059 --> 00:12:00,276
I'm in.
Boom!
281
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,661
No, no, no.
I'm not moving back here.
282
00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:03,029
- Are you crazy?
- Of course you are.
283
00:12:03,063 --> 00:12:05,114
Look, I don't wanna be mean
or, like, insulting.
284
00:12:05,165 --> 00:12:06,582
I know that you like it here.
285
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:09,952
But, Dwight, it's just that
farm life lacks a certain...
286
00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:12,255
- sort of sophistication...
- Oh, my God.
287
00:12:12,289 --> 00:12:13,639
That Cami and I are drawn to.
288
00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:15,007
and...
[Sighs]
289
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,827
I don't know,
the men are just--[Sighs]
290
00:12:17,861 --> 00:12:21,731
It's almost like there's a--
a willing ignorance.
291
00:12:21,765 --> 00:12:23,783
Yes, I--
thank you for asking me.
292
00:12:23,817 --> 00:12:26,452
I actually have written
a little bit of poetry.
293
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:29,806
That's crazy.
And I was recently published.
294
00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,491
Which is just--
295
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:32,825
maybe I have--
yep, I do.
296
00:12:32,859 --> 00:12:34,560
Here it is from the, um...
297
00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:37,447
hartfordwomenslitquarterly.com.
298
00:12:37,481 --> 00:12:38,781
[Sighs]
299
00:12:38,832 --> 00:12:41,484
A Willing Ignorance
by Fanny Schrute.
300
00:12:41,518 --> 00:12:43,569
[Giggles]
301
00:12:43,604 --> 00:12:45,421
Totally.
Yep.
302
00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:47,774
The people here are like...
[Blows raspberry]
303
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,559
like a fart.
304
00:12:49,593 --> 00:12:50,877
You know what I'm saying?
Like a fart.
305
00:12:50,911 --> 00:12:51,994
You know what?
306
00:12:52,029 --> 00:12:53,329
Let's take a couple of nights
307
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:55,732
and stay here and think
about Aunt Shirley's offer.
308
00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:57,150
Couple of nights couldn't hurt.
309
00:12:57,184 --> 00:12:58,951
Oh, somehow I think
a couple of nights could hurt.
310
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:00,069
You will say yes on one.
311
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,171
5, 4, 3, 2.
312
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:03,806
Get ready to say yes.
One!
313
00:13:03,857 --> 00:13:07,693
- Yes!
- Absolutely!
314
00:13:07,711 --> 00:13:10,146
Growing up with Dwight
and Mose was not easy.
315
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,982
Uh, Dwight was obviously
the cool one,
316
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,034
and Mose was the visionary,
317
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:18,671
which left me
to be the comedian.
318
00:13:18,705 --> 00:13:19,906
- That doesn't work on me...
- Okay.
319
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:21,273
By the way.
It's not--
320
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:23,976
Quatre, trois, deux, un.
321
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,362
Oui on un.
Oui, un!
322
00:13:26,396 --> 00:13:27,447
- Very clever.
- Oui!
323
00:13:27,481 --> 00:13:28,731
- Okay.
- Oui, mais oui.
324
00:13:28,782 --> 00:13:30,850
Oui, oui, oui.
325
00:13:30,884 --> 00:13:33,035
- Oui.
- Oh, my goodness.
326
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:36,606
♪ When we arrive,
sons and daughters ♪
327
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,009
♪ we'll make our homes
on the water ♪
328
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:41,444
♪ we'll build our-- ♪
329
00:13:41,478 --> 00:13:44,897
People underestimate
the power of nostalgia.
330
00:13:44,915 --> 00:13:46,249
If baseball can use it
331
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,167
to get people to care about
that worthless sport,
332
00:13:48,185 --> 00:13:49,769
then I can use it
to get my siblings
333
00:13:49,803 --> 00:13:51,671
to care about the farm.
334
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,891
Nostalgia is truly one
of the great human weaknesses.
335
00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:57,143
Second only to the neck.
336
00:13:57,177 --> 00:14:01,180
♪ When we arrive,
sons and daughters ♪
337
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,917
♪ we'll make our homes
on the water ♪
338
00:14:04,935 --> 00:14:07,854
♪ we'll build our walls
aluminum ♪
339
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:11,474
♪ we'll fill our mouths
with cinnamon ♪
340
00:14:11,508 --> 00:14:14,177
♪ now ♪
341
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,685
So I forgot
about this old custom.
342
00:14:22,719 --> 00:14:24,854
If a man is interested
in courting a woman,
343
00:14:24,888 --> 00:14:28,574
he may throw the beaks
of a crow... at her.
344
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:31,327
And then if she's interested
in accepting the courtship,
345
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:34,614
she has to destroy the beaks.
346
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:44,974
♪ When we arrive,
sons and daughters ♪
347
00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:48,377
♪ we'll make our homes
on the water ♪
348
00:14:48,412 --> 00:14:51,998
♪ we'll build our walls
aluminum ♪
349
00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:55,151
♪ we'll fill our mouths
with cinnamon ♪
350
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:59,305
Hey, uh, I just wanna say
I'm sorry for screwing you.
351
00:14:59,339 --> 00:15:01,357
I'm not sorry about it.
352
00:15:01,391 --> 00:15:03,993
I am.
It was my rock bottom.
353
00:15:09,032 --> 00:15:12,117
- Kevin, you can do this.
- You don't know that.
354
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:15,054
Kevin, um, let's think
of something to distract us.
355
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,755
Like the movie Skyfall.
356
00:15:16,773 --> 00:15:18,474
You loved the movie Skyfall,
right?
357
00:15:18,508 --> 00:15:20,042
Mm-hmm.
358
00:15:20,077 --> 00:15:21,577
James Bond was a spy.
359
00:15:21,612 --> 00:15:24,213
- Yes, he was a good spy.
- Yeah.
360
00:15:24,264 --> 00:15:25,698
He was the best.
361
00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:28,367
James Bond
would love this cupcake.
362
00:15:28,402 --> 00:15:29,669
Hey, you know what,
363
00:15:29,703 --> 00:15:32,521
it was great
to see you all again.
364
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,558
Take care.
365
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:40,713
I am going through
a 12-step program.
366
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,299
I'm currently on step zero...
367
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,319
which is have a shitload
of fun.
368
00:15:46,353 --> 00:15:48,671
I spent six hours
369
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:51,424
carefully removing the frosting
370
00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:53,542
and then layering in
a variety of drugs,
371
00:15:53,594 --> 00:15:55,127
some legal, some not...
372
00:15:55,161 --> 00:15:58,281
some laxative,
some constipating.
373
00:15:58,315 --> 00:16:01,317
You don't fire The Packman...
374
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:03,970
and expect to get away with it.
375
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,806
Guys, I'm proud of us.
376
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,343
I think we did the right thing.
Hey!
377
00:16:10,377 --> 00:16:12,378
- What, Pam?
- Wait!
378
00:16:12,396 --> 00:16:14,480
He's gone.
It's just a cupcake now.
379
00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:16,816
No, no!
It's the principle of the thing.
380
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,101
Oh, my God.
381
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:21,854
I forgive him so much.
382
00:16:21,888 --> 00:16:23,572
[Gagging]
383
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,658
- Whoa! Is he choking?
- Kevin?
384
00:16:26,743 --> 00:16:28,327
[Coughing]
385
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,272
Oh, that was fantastic.
386
00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:49,638
Is it dangerous to take
the eggs in front of them?
387
00:16:49,673 --> 00:16:50,982
Yes, very.
You really need to stand back.
388
00:16:51,033 --> 00:16:52,917
'Cause these
are killer chickens.
389
00:16:52,951 --> 00:16:55,470
I was just asking you
something I didn't know.
390
00:16:55,504 --> 00:16:57,822
Which is fine,
and you learned something.
391
00:16:57,856 --> 00:16:59,290
But it was kind of
a stupid question,
392
00:16:59,324 --> 00:17:01,292
so you're gonna get made fun of
a little bit.
393
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:09,884
Are we gonna eat these today?
394
00:17:09,918 --> 00:17:10,985
If you want.
395
00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:17,008
Is that a guillotine?
396
00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:18,392
This? No.
397
00:17:18,426 --> 00:17:19,827
That'd be cool though.
398
00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:22,513
It's for milking.
399
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:26,551
That's a cow?
400
00:17:26,585 --> 00:17:28,319
Did you just ask me
if this was a cow?
401
00:17:31,473 --> 00:17:32,990
What are you doing now?
402
00:17:33,025 --> 00:17:34,876
Come here.
403
00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:35,943
Come on.
404
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:38,429
[Milk squirting into bucket]
405
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:42,066
Grab a teat with each hand.
Sit down.
406
00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:46,187
There you go.
Squeeze from top to bottom.
407
00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:47,488
Really pull, use some muscle.
408
00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:50,708
Draw the milk out.
All right, going all right?
409
00:17:50,742 --> 00:17:52,410
I don't know.
410
00:17:52,444 --> 00:17:56,597
Well, is the udder hot?
Is the milk clumpy?
411
00:17:56,615 --> 00:17:58,399
- I don't know any of that.
- Okay, you suck at this.
412
00:17:58,417 --> 00:18:01,702
Gimme those teats.
[Clears throat]
413
00:18:02,654 --> 00:18:04,739
Didn't your father
teach you anything?
414
00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:08,576
I never met him.
415
00:18:08,594 --> 00:18:10,511
Good morning, Erin.
416
00:18:10,546 --> 00:18:12,213
Hey.
417
00:18:15,601 --> 00:18:17,351
Hey, everybody.
418
00:18:17,385 --> 00:18:21,188
Um, I decided to eat
my cupcake.
419
00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:22,390
I thought about it last night.
420
00:18:22,424 --> 00:18:23,758
I talked to Jim,
I talked to my sister,
421
00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:27,028
and I think that as long
as Todd Packer doesn't know,
422
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:28,529
it's okay.
423
00:18:28,563 --> 00:18:31,165
I don't care what you do, Pam,
just please stop making noise.
424
00:18:31,183 --> 00:18:32,233
Phyllis!
425
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,985
Packer laced the cupcakes.
426
00:18:34,019 --> 00:18:35,236
No!
427
00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:36,937
Did you get diarrhea
or were you stoned?
428
00:18:36,955 --> 00:18:39,206
- Some of us got both.
- Oh, my God!
429
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:40,541
Is everyone okay?
430
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:42,760
Last night,
I got out all of my old dolls
431
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:44,779
and played with them
on the living room floor.
432
00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:48,666
Then I ordered ten
American Girl outfits on line.
433
00:18:48,717 --> 00:18:51,018
It was thousands of dollars.
434
00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:53,738
Well, count yourself lucky,
Phyllis.
435
00:18:53,772 --> 00:18:55,573
[Whispering] I got the toilet.
436
00:18:55,624 --> 00:18:56,857
Me too.
437
00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:59,760
I went Christmas caroling...
in March,
438
00:18:59,795 --> 00:19:01,812
and I fertilized some bushes
along the way.
439
00:19:01,863 --> 00:19:03,731
So not my best night.
440
00:19:03,765 --> 00:19:05,499
But not my worst night.
441
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:07,802
[Sighs] What did you do, Andy?
442
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:12,506
Last night!
443
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,075
Oh, God, um...
444
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:17,061
I don't know.
Noth-nothing, really.
445
00:19:17,095 --> 00:19:19,647
- Kevin?
- Why would you ask me?
446
00:19:19,681 --> 00:19:21,499
No, I'm not a--
I just-- I don't know.
447
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:23,117
[Both screaming]
448
00:19:23,151 --> 00:19:25,886
Oh... gosh,
I actually--
449
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:28,422
it is hard to recall.
450
00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:32,326
Um, pretty normal night.
451
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:36,047
My night was just like that...
452
00:19:36,081 --> 00:19:37,765
- Yup.
- Okay.
453
00:19:37,799 --> 00:19:41,769
[Pants tearing] Meaning normal.
454
00:19:41,787 --> 00:19:43,738
Yeah, I didn't see you
last night at all.
455
00:19:43,772 --> 00:19:45,773
Nope, I did not see you either.
456
00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:47,291
[Kevin groans loudly]
457
00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:53,147
Wow! He is officially
the worst human being.
458
00:19:53,181 --> 00:19:55,683
Ah!
459
00:19:55,717 --> 00:19:57,551
But... Kevin, that's--
460
00:19:57,569 --> 00:19:59,854
Yeah, no, I understand, Pam.
461
00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:01,388
I understand.
462
00:20:02,724 --> 00:20:03,991
No. Ohh.
463
00:20:04,026 --> 00:20:08,562
So that's it.
I just wanted to make amends.
464
00:20:11,399 --> 00:20:13,584
- Wow.
- That's big of you, man.
465
00:20:13,618 --> 00:20:14,952
Takes a lot of courage.
466
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:17,538
Ooh.
Red velvet.
467
00:20:17,572 --> 00:20:18,839
I should apologize too.
468
00:20:18,874 --> 00:20:20,791
It's okay.
469
00:20:20,842 --> 00:20:22,960
I'm over it.
470
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:39,560
♪ When we arrive,
sons and daughters... ♪
471
00:20:39,594 --> 00:20:43,647
Ooh, this is
no nine-acre worm farm.
472
00:20:43,699 --> 00:20:45,649
This is a beast.
473
00:20:45,701 --> 00:20:47,768
Whoever's managing this thing
is gonna have a hell of a job.
474
00:20:47,786 --> 00:20:49,320
Mm-hmm.
475
00:20:49,371 --> 00:20:52,323
- Not it.
- Not it.
476
00:20:52,374 --> 00:20:54,075
It.
477
00:20:58,463 --> 00:21:00,247
If your kid doesn't put in
some farm time,
478
00:21:00,281 --> 00:21:01,949
or he's gonna stay like that.
479
00:21:01,967 --> 00:21:03,283
[Chuckles] All right, fine.
480
00:21:06,652 --> 00:21:11,419
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com