1
00:00:00,475 --> 00:00:02,866
To me, the Sixers are *.
2
00:00:02,976 --> 00:00:05,408
I think they're going
to the Conference finals.
3
00:00:05,410 --> 00:00:07,810
- No.
- Bynum, an obvious monster.
4
00:00:07,812 --> 00:00:10,196
At three-point shooting,
don't even--
5
00:00:10,198 --> 00:00:14,033
I bit my lip at lunch today.
6
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:17,036
Sucks.
Anyway, I just don't see it.
7
00:00:17,038 --> 00:00:18,338
The Knicks are tough.
8
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:21,407
- The Nets are tough.
- Oh, the Nets are super tough.
9
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:25,494
Now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts.
10
00:00:25,496 --> 00:00:27,764
I hate it.
11
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:31,234
The Hawks are terrible.
They're always terrible.
12
00:00:31,236 --> 00:00:33,186
Okay, you need
to think about it
13
00:00:33,188 --> 00:00:36,522
before you come with the--
14
00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:40,326
Whatever.
It's not a big deal.
15
00:00:40,328 --> 00:00:41,694
You know, I always tell
my three-year-old,
16
00:00:41,696 --> 00:00:43,446
if this is the worst thing
that's gonna happen--
17
00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:45,314
You gotta be kidding me!
18
00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:51,104
Okay. Pam, that's it.
I'm going home.
19
00:00:51,106 --> 00:00:53,673
[Cheerful music]
20
00:00:58,198 --> 00:01:00,502
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:04,467
Morning, Meredith.
22
00:01:04,469 --> 00:01:05,518
What?
23
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,637
Oh, sorry. Pam.
24
00:01:07,639 --> 00:01:09,389
Yikes.
25
00:01:09,391 --> 00:01:13,109
Jim's been spending
a few days a week in Philly,
26
00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:16,362
and I'm not gonna lie--
it's been challenging.
27
00:01:19,016 --> 00:01:21,034
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.
28
00:01:21,036 --> 00:01:24,854
I found out Cece has lice,
so I was up all night,
29
00:01:24,856 --> 00:01:28,691
disinfecting every sheet,
towel, toy,
30
00:01:28,693 --> 00:01:31,244
item of clothing
in the entire house.
31
00:01:31,246 --> 00:01:35,214
I'm exhausted.
But don't tell Jim.
32
00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:39,535
He has a huge meeting today,
under a lot of pressure,
33
00:01:39,537 --> 00:01:43,222
and he's doing it all
for the family.
34
00:01:43,224 --> 00:01:45,475
I am meeting
Dr. J today,
35
00:01:45,477 --> 00:01:47,093
otherwise known
as Julius Erving,
36
00:01:47,095 --> 00:01:50,313
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.
37
00:01:50,315 --> 00:01:52,398
But I have to be careful
not to rub it in Pam's face
38
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,485
because, let's be honest,
how would I feel
39
00:01:55,487 --> 00:01:57,136
if I was at home,
stuck with the kids
40
00:01:57,138 --> 00:02:01,324
while she was go-karting
with John Stamos?
41
00:02:01,326 --> 00:02:03,392
You sound tired.
Everything okay?
42
00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,361
Great.
Everything's great.
43
00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:07,497
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?
44
00:02:07,499 --> 00:02:09,065
Uh, a little bit.
45
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,917
It's a lot of pressure,
you know?
46
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:12,618
But that's what
I signed up for, right?
47
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:16,255
- Jim, the limo's here.
- Uh, you know what?
48
00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:18,091
I gotta hop off because my, uh,
49
00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:20,743
taxi is here to take me
to the meeting.
50
00:02:20,745 --> 00:02:22,244
- Oh, call me later.
- Okay.
51
00:02:22,246 --> 00:02:23,262
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
52
00:02:23,264 --> 00:02:25,431
- I love you.
- Love you too. Bye.
53
00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,100
[Mouths words]
54
00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:28,418
How are you doing?
55
00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:30,603
Okay. I mean,
it's what you want, so--
56
00:02:30,605 --> 00:02:34,190
- It's how it has to be.
- I know, I know.
57
00:02:34,192 --> 00:02:36,192
It's just hard.
58
00:02:36,194 --> 00:02:37,777
Me and Val were going nowhere,
59
00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:39,729
and if I'm gonna be
working in Philly,
60
00:02:39,731 --> 00:02:41,064
I'm gonna need my freedom,
61
00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:43,432
so I convinced Val
to break up with me.
62
00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:45,034
Here's how you do it.
63
00:02:45,036 --> 00:02:47,286
You say, "What are you gonna do,
break up with me?"
64
00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:48,788
Like, as a joke.
65
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,940
And then you gain
a lot of weight.
66
00:02:50,942 --> 00:02:53,242
I'll never be sorry,
not for a moment of it.
67
00:02:53,244 --> 00:02:55,945
Me neither.
Come here.
68
00:02:58,448 --> 00:03:01,084
Hey, Meredith, I need
your supply requests today.
69
00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:02,284
Jeez H in the morning,
70
00:03:02,286 --> 00:03:03,970
will you stop your nagging
already?
71
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:05,221
No wonder Jim left you.
72
00:03:05,223 --> 00:03:09,625
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.
73
00:03:11,645 --> 00:03:13,012
Can you just fill out
the form, please?
74
00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:16,399
Yes.
[Scratching]
75
00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:18,518
I'm sure she's just confused.
76
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:22,355
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.
77
00:03:22,357 --> 00:03:24,640
Not always like an ape,
the way Meredith just did,
78
00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:26,659
but it happens.
79
00:03:26,661 --> 00:03:27,810
Hurry up already.
80
00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:29,362
Trust me,
I know what I'm doing.
81
00:03:29,364 --> 00:03:31,164
Between the foster homes
and the orphanage,
82
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:33,649
I had lice 22 times.
83
00:03:33,651 --> 00:03:35,651
[Gasps]
Holy wow, that's a big one.
84
00:03:35,653 --> 00:03:37,987
All right, pencils down,
everyone-- we've got lice.
85
00:03:37,989 --> 00:03:39,321
[Groans]
86
00:03:39,323 --> 00:03:41,090
Oh, God, Meredith!
Lice?
87
00:03:41,092 --> 00:03:43,292
Did you not sign
a pledge to shower?
88
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:47,463
What? Lice?
Oh, my God.
89
00:03:47,465 --> 00:03:50,600
Lock the doors.
We're on full quarantine.
90
00:03:50,602 --> 00:03:52,501
Dwight, relax.
It's just lice.
91
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:53,936
Maybe, possibly.
92
00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:56,806
Just lice, Pam?
93
00:03:56,808 --> 00:03:59,225
Of all of the vermin
in God's great green kingdom,
94
00:03:59,227 --> 00:04:01,511
lice are the ones
I detest the most.
95
00:04:01,513 --> 00:04:03,863
My first day of school,
I had lice,
96
00:04:03,865 --> 00:04:05,498
and no one would play with me.
97
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,517
For 15 years,
they called me "freak"
98
00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:11,404
and "four eyes" and "sci-fi
nerd" and "girl puncher,"
99
00:04:11,406 --> 00:04:14,540
all because I had lice
when I was seven.
100
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:15,541
- Make way.
- Dwight!
101
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:18,544
No.
Inspect me.
102
00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:21,614
Oh, this is the cleanest scalp
I've ever seen.
103
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,082
- You are all clear.
- I should be.
104
00:04:23,084 --> 00:04:24,917
I use lice shampoo
every morning.
105
00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:25,918
[Sprays]
106
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,919
- Hey!
- Oh!
107
00:04:26,921 --> 00:04:28,638
- Stop that!
- Dwight!
108
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,840
[Coughs] Next.
109
00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,708
Jeez, Meredith, you know,
this is an office.
110
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,710
It's not one
of your bean-bag orgies.
111
00:04:34,712 --> 00:04:36,562
Uh, let's give her a break.
112
00:04:36,564 --> 00:04:39,148
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.
113
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,984
Pam, really?
Come on.
114
00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:44,220
Hey, what do you want?
I know who I am.
115
00:04:44,222 --> 00:04:47,190
Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer
to the opera to meet the queen.
116
00:04:47,192 --> 00:04:48,191
- Lice.
- [Gasps]
117
00:04:48,193 --> 00:04:49,242
- More lice.
- [Groans]
118
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:52,394
- Angela has lice.
- Ew! Oh! [Groans]
119
00:04:52,396 --> 00:04:55,898
Ooh, yabber. Lice.
Yikers. Lice.
120
00:04:55,900 --> 00:05:00,069
No. How?
I am so clean.
121
00:05:00,071 --> 00:05:01,754
- Oh, yeah. Big-time lice.
- Aah!
122
00:05:01,756 --> 00:05:04,006
I wash my hands at least
six times a day.
123
00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:05,258
Toilet seat covers?
124
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,959
Yes, thank you,
even when I pee.
125
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,961
Apparently, none of that
is protection enough,
126
00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,097
not when it comes to Meredith.
127
00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:13,716
[Subdued chatter]
128
00:05:13,718 --> 00:05:15,101
- Ooh.
- Oh.
129
00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:17,386
Hey, what are you wearing?
130
00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:19,088
It's a hazmat suit.
131
00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:23,259
That stands for hazardous
materials men's suit wearing.
132
00:05:23,261 --> 00:05:24,727
If you rent
more than four times a year,
133
00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:26,362
it just makes sense to buy.
134
00:05:26,364 --> 00:05:31,284
Is there anyone else here
that is lice-free?
135
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,736
Excellent. You have
your own hazmat suits?
136
00:05:33,738 --> 00:05:35,655
- No.
- No.
137
00:05:35,657 --> 00:05:37,206
Ugh. Renters.
138
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,108
Okay, I'm gonna need you
to gather your belongings,
139
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:40,710
retreat to the warehouse.
140
00:05:40,712 --> 00:05:42,962
Conduct your business there
141
00:05:42,964 --> 00:05:45,081
until the infected
have been de-loused.
142
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,115
Let's get going.
143
00:05:46,117 --> 00:05:47,550
I'm gonna stay here and fight.
144
00:05:47,552 --> 00:05:49,752
If you don't hear from me
by lunch, call me.
145
00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:51,254
I might want lunch.
146
00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:53,806
All right. We're going
down to my warehouse.
147
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:55,892
That means we're playing
by my rules.
148
00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:57,176
No messing with the baler,
149
00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,811
and be cool
in front of me and Val.
150
00:05:58,813 --> 00:06:00,596
We just broke up.
[Gasps]
151
00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:02,131
You got dumped?
152
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,650
- Yeah, she ended things.
- Break-ups are the worst.
153
00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:06,235
The only thing
that got me through mine
154
00:06:06,237 --> 00:06:08,137
was large amounts
of Shepherd's pie and Brandy.
155
00:06:08,139 --> 00:06:10,072
The singer, not the drink.
156
00:06:10,074 --> 00:06:12,474
Here, man.
157
00:06:12,476 --> 00:06:14,860
You need them more than me.
158
00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:18,247
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
159
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,785
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.
160
00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,787
This has got to be hard
for her.
161
00:06:24,789 --> 00:06:25,788
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
162
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,540
I have not yet begun to shame.
163
00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:28,991
That's it.
I'm getting my stuff.
164
00:06:28,993 --> 00:06:30,009
I'm leaving for the day.
165
00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:32,328
No, Stanley, if you leave now,
166
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:33,495
then you'll get it in your car,
167
00:06:33,497 --> 00:06:34,513
and then you'll get it
in your house!
168
00:06:34,515 --> 00:06:35,631
Get off me.
169
00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,466
I'm trying to save you
from yourself!
170
00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:39,885
All right, I'll stay!
171
00:06:39,887 --> 00:06:42,855
There's a pencil
poking in my rolls.
172
00:06:42,857 --> 00:06:45,191
Maybe it was Meredith.
173
00:06:45,193 --> 00:06:47,509
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different
174
00:06:47,511 --> 00:06:50,112
than the lice that I got
from Cece.
175
00:06:50,114 --> 00:06:52,281
So let's not jump
to the simplest conclusion
176
00:06:52,283 --> 00:06:54,317
that she got her lice from me.
177
00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:59,288
That is how wars get started.
178
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:03,075
Fine, I'll tell her it was me.
179
00:07:03,077 --> 00:07:05,411
Oh, man.
That's fresh-squeezed.
180
00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:08,197
And are all the snacks
complimentary?
181
00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:10,166
Yeah, take some home
if you want.
182
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:13,302
Oh, no, no, no.
That's okay. I...
183
00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:23,262
Um, I'm sorry.
Is this the conference center?
184
00:07:23,264 --> 00:07:24,880
No.
Mr. Erving called.
185
00:07:24,882 --> 00:07:28,184
Said he's rather meet you
at his private court.
186
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:32,605
You gotta be kidding me.
187
00:07:32,607 --> 00:07:33,906
[Electric razor buzzing]
188
00:07:33,908 --> 00:07:34,907
Hey, Meredith, I need
to tell you something.
189
00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:36,192
Yeah, Pam?
What do you want?
190
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,893
Oh, my God.
Meredith, what are you doing?
191
00:07:37,895 --> 00:07:39,728
Bakin' a cake. What does it
look like I'm doing?
192
00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:41,864
- Getting rid of the lice.
- Oh, stop! I'm so sorry!
193
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,516
[Microwave oven beeps]
Oh, can you hold that thought?
194
00:07:43,518 --> 00:07:44,950
That's my wax.
195
00:07:44,952 --> 00:07:48,821
You know, I think these critters
migrated from down south.
196
00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:50,373
What were you saying?
197
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,291
Nothing.
198
00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,793
I'm going to tell her,
199
00:07:53,795 --> 00:07:56,412
but now is clearly
not the time.
200
00:07:56,414 --> 00:08:00,082
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.
201
00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:02,272
There's a right way to do this.
202
00:08:04,023 --> 00:08:07,225
♪, ♪,
203
00:08:07,227 --> 00:08:10,011
follicle gypsies, hair lawyers.
204
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,647
One thing is clear--
it's kill or be killed!
205
00:08:12,649 --> 00:08:14,649
No, no, no. It's more
of a nuisance, really.
206
00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:16,367
It's not that big a deal.
207
00:08:16,369 --> 00:08:18,453
So I've collected
your hats and your coats...
208
00:08:18,455 --> 00:08:20,438
- To be burned!
- ...to be washed.
209
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,939
What do we do about our heads?
210
00:08:21,941 --> 00:08:24,459
I'm not gonna lie.
Lye!
211
00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:27,128
No.
All we need is mayonnaise.
212
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:29,631
- Excuse me?
- She's right. It works.
213
00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:31,132
I would imagine.
214
00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:33,952
Yes. It helps to suffocate
the little buddies,
215
00:08:33,954 --> 00:08:35,670
and it's
a really healthy alternative
216
00:08:35,672 --> 00:08:38,256
to the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.
217
00:08:38,258 --> 00:08:39,757
I can appreciate that.
218
00:08:39,759 --> 00:08:44,512
I also only eat
local organic produce.
219
00:08:44,514 --> 00:08:47,131
Sha-boom!
How do you like me now?
220
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:48,983
- Oh!
- Wow!
221
00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:50,801
Take a picture.
It'll last longer.
222
00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,737
We don't want it
to last longer. It's horrible.
223
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,939
- Bald people make me sick.
- Yeah, yeah.
224
00:08:54,941 --> 00:08:56,941
Everybody pile on Meredith.
225
00:08:56,943 --> 00:08:58,309
But I'm the only one
with the balls
226
00:08:58,311 --> 00:09:02,146
to show them lice who's boss.
227
00:09:02,148 --> 00:09:03,248
Okay, nobody panic.
228
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,617
If everybody just follows
my instructions,
229
00:09:05,619 --> 00:09:07,235
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.
230
00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:09,487
Not that it looks bad,
Meredith.
231
00:09:09,489 --> 00:09:11,956
It looks--
it looks awesome.
232
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:14,676
You look like a baby
who suddenly aged 50 years.
233
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:17,929
A cute baby, but something
sucked the life force out of it.
234
00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,797
I'm so sorry.
We need mayonnaise.
235
00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:22,133
- We need it now.
- Oh, uh, uh, I'll go.
236
00:09:22,135 --> 00:09:23,334
- Okay.
- Oh, thank you.
237
00:09:23,336 --> 00:09:24,519
You're a saint, Pam.
238
00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:25,803
No, it's not a big deal,
please, no.
239
00:09:25,805 --> 00:09:27,188
Uh, Meredith, could I get you
something special
240
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:28,306
while I'm at the store?
241
00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:31,025
Candy or-- or one
of those stylish turbans?
242
00:09:31,027 --> 00:09:32,310
Thanks, Pam.
243
00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:33,811
I'll take a pack
of Nicorette gum
244
00:09:33,813 --> 00:09:34,812
and a pack of Kools.
245
00:09:34,814 --> 00:09:37,565
Okay.
246
00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:42,070
Let's talk pubes, people.
247
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:46,658
- Hey, Darryl.
- Oh, hey, Val.
248
00:09:49,528 --> 00:09:52,413
Darryl.
Oh, that was tragic.
249
00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:55,550
Oh, that was like a car crash.
I couldn't look away.
250
00:09:55,552 --> 00:09:58,503
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.
251
00:09:58,505 --> 00:09:59,921
Yeah.
252
00:09:59,923 --> 00:10:01,539
What's gonna make you
feel better, big guy?
253
00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:03,057
When I was a kid,
254
00:10:03,059 --> 00:10:04,676
my grandmother used to
make me chocolate cake
255
00:10:04,678 --> 00:10:06,711
when I wasn't feeling good.
256
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,713
She's not around to do that
anymore.
257
00:10:08,715 --> 00:10:10,014
I'm sorry.
258
00:10:10,016 --> 00:10:14,885
I just need a moment to myself,
just to clear my head.
259
00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:16,070
Oh, poor Darryl.
260
00:10:16,072 --> 00:10:18,022
I can't bear to see him
suffer like this.
261
00:10:18,024 --> 00:10:21,025
I think he needs some hugs
262
00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:23,745
and maybe some chocolate cake.
263
00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:27,398
Mmm. This won't help him.
It's a muffin, not cake.
264
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,566
Listen,
let's try and get Darryl
265
00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:29,917
the one thing in the world
266
00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:32,503
he clearly wants
and needs the most.
267
00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:36,407
- An Escalade.
- Or what's her name.
268
00:10:36,409 --> 00:10:38,092
Val.
269
00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:41,012
Let's get Darryl Val.
270
00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:43,131
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.
271
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:44,682
I can't get my knees
under a desk.
272
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:45,883
Are you kidding me?
273
00:10:45,885 --> 00:10:47,685
I could literally
scalp tickets to this.
274
00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:49,637
Well, you think you could
sink one from deep?
275
00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:52,423
Listen, I don't mean
to intimidate you,
276
00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:54,108
but I did play
a little high school ball.
277
00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:58,062
Okay.
278
00:10:58,064 --> 00:11:01,649
Wow. Halpert's got game.
All right.
279
00:11:01,651 --> 00:11:04,535
[Cell phone rings]
Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry.
280
00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:06,571
This is my wife.
Can I take this?
281
00:11:06,573 --> 00:11:08,539
If it's your wife,
you better take it.
282
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:11,442
Right?
[Laughs]
283
00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:14,045
Hey, what's up?
Everything okay?
284
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:15,713
Oh, no.
Everything's great.
285
00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:18,633
Um, I was just calling to see,
uh, how the meeting went.
286
00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:20,951
Oh, it's still happening
right now, actually, so--
287
00:11:20,953 --> 00:11:23,120
He's, uh, really making you
work for it, huh?
288
00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:26,974
Yes, it is very stressful.
Are you sure everything's okay?
289
00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:29,677
Great.
I am killing it over here.
290
00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,263
[Splat]
291
00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:34,515
- Jim, I gotta go.
- Okay, bye.
292
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:37,068
- So sorry about that.
- Oh, no problem.
293
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:38,686
Hey, Jim, what size
do you wear, man?
294
00:11:38,688 --> 00:11:41,406
I got a pair of Japanese Nikes
with your name on 'em.
295
00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:44,742
- What do you think?
- I love it.
296
00:11:44,744 --> 00:11:46,027
Once it's all over your head,
297
00:11:46,029 --> 00:11:47,362
just leave it there
for four hours.
298
00:11:47,364 --> 00:11:50,331
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,
299
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:52,533
suffocate, and then pass away.
300
00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:54,252
Oh, sure.
301
00:11:54,254 --> 00:11:56,371
And when you're ready
to get serious,
302
00:11:56,373 --> 00:11:59,990
come to me
to get it done right.
303
00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:03,761
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.
304
00:12:03,763 --> 00:12:04,762
[Fabric rips]
305
00:12:04,764 --> 00:12:07,632
- [Gasps]
- Oh, God. Oh, no.
306
00:12:07,634 --> 00:12:11,636
No. No!
307
00:12:11,638 --> 00:12:14,972
No! No! No!
308
00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:18,342
No! No!
309
00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:20,228
Okay, it's easier with a buddy,
310
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,729
so everybody pair up.
311
00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:24,232
Oscar, you want to be
my partner?
312
00:12:24,234 --> 00:12:27,485
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I'd love to.
313
00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:30,037
Hey, uh, mayo buddy, $5 tip,
314
00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,457
you unclog my ears, okay?
315
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,542
Oh, Creed, I'm so sorry.
316
00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:36,961
I'm-- I'm already partners
with Pete. Right, Pete?
317
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,379
Uh, yeah.
318
00:12:38,381 --> 00:12:40,531
We promised each other
if we ever got lice,
319
00:12:40,533 --> 00:12:43,968
we'd buddy up, so, sorry, man.
320
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:48,205
Hey, Creed.
Want to be my buddy?
321
00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:51,008
Oh, God.
Stuck with the weirdo.
322
00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:55,880
[Sighs]
323
00:12:55,882 --> 00:12:56,881
[Hard slaps]
324
00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:57,932
Angela.
325
00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,318
You don't want bugs, you know?
326
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,188
Who knows where those bugs
will end up.
327
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:06,724
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.
328
00:13:06,726 --> 00:13:09,226
[Sighs]
329
00:13:09,228 --> 00:13:13,898
Creed, I'm all done.
My turn.
330
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:17,067
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.
331
00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:19,170
Well, wait.
332
00:13:22,374 --> 00:13:25,176
- How's that?
- I feel it working.
333
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:27,244
[Both grunt]
334
00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:29,180
Ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk.
335
00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:31,516
- Eiffel tower.
- Oh! [Laughs]
336
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:33,684
Now.
337
00:13:33,686 --> 00:13:34,469
Can I help you?
338
00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:37,355
- Well--
- Um--
339
00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:38,689
We don't want to pry,
340
00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:40,558
but we heard you broke up
with Darryl.
341
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,776
Yeah, that's true.
342
00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:43,611
We think you made
a big, big mistake.
343
00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:45,830
- Big mistake.
- Quite enormous.
344
00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:49,333
He's a real catch,
and you should take him back.
345
00:13:49,335 --> 00:13:52,286
Okay. Thank you.
Is that all?
346
00:13:52,288 --> 00:13:54,405
No.
No, that is not all.
347
00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:56,707
Let me tell you
what real life is like.
348
00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:59,010
The men dry up,
and the nights get lonely.
349
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,678
The only calls on your machine
350
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,013
are from collection agencies
351
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,264
about that pair
of motorcycle boots
352
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:04,549
you've never even worn.
353
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:07,685
You stalk your old
high school boyfriend online,
354
00:14:07,687 --> 00:14:09,520
go to his daughter's
soccer games, and make a scene.
355
00:14:09,522 --> 00:14:11,622
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself
356
00:14:11,624 --> 00:14:13,090
wear it on your right hand,
357
00:14:13,092 --> 00:14:15,259
and tell yourself
you're all you need.
358
00:14:15,261 --> 00:14:18,613
One day, you're alone, tired.
359
00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:20,698
At your feet, a dying bird.
360
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,400
But where did it come from?
361
00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:23,985
Why did you kill it?
362
00:14:23,987 --> 00:14:25,870
It is because,
in some strange way,
363
00:14:25,872 --> 00:14:27,605
it is you?
364
00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:29,540
Thank you all for your concern,
365
00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:32,126
but I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave, okay?
366
00:14:32,128 --> 00:14:35,630
- Pfft! Well.
- Thank you.
367
00:14:35,632 --> 00:14:37,798
Thank you.
368
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,284
So does this mean
you're gonna take Darryl back?
369
00:14:40,286 --> 00:14:41,886
No.
370
00:14:41,888 --> 00:14:43,170
Well, then, what would you say
371
00:14:43,172 --> 00:14:46,457
to you and me hitting the town?
372
00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:50,228
'Cause I'm free,
literally, forever.
373
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:52,313
Yeah, Kevin asked me out.
374
00:14:52,315 --> 00:14:54,565
I was kind of feeling good about
re-entering the dating pool,
375
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,734
and then Kevin asked me out.
376
00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:59,937
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.
377
00:14:59,939 --> 00:15:02,724
Then Kevin asked me out.
378
00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:11,332
[Phone rings]
379
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:13,918
[Mayonnaise splats]
380
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,037
- Hello?
- Hi, honey, it's mom.
381
00:15:16,039 --> 00:15:17,655
Look, Cece's school
just called.
382
00:15:17,657 --> 00:15:20,991
- She still has lice.
- What? No, that can't--
383
00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:22,510
I don't--
- Now, don't worry, don't worry.
384
00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:23,961
I'm on my way to pick her up,
385
00:15:23,963 --> 00:15:25,596
but you might have lice too.
386
00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:26,797
You know, lice can be tricky.
387
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:28,966
Sometimes lice, like...
[Phone clatters]
388
00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:31,686
- Oh, my God.
- Shave her head.
389
00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:35,296
Shave her head!
390
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:40,410
You guys, I am so sorry!
391
00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:42,779
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I--
392
00:15:42,781 --> 00:15:44,131
Yeah, yeah,
princess fancy-pants
393
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:46,583
letting Jane 12-pack over here
take the fall!
394
00:15:46,585 --> 00:15:48,251
[Amplified] She's right, Pam.
395
00:15:48,253 --> 00:15:50,303
Is there a volume knob
on that thing?
396
00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:53,423
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!
397
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:58,678
Meredith, I am so sorry.
398
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,130
Well, a lot of good your
sorrys are doing her now, Pam.
399
00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:04,734
She's a monster.
400
00:16:04,736 --> 00:16:07,604
I meant to say something
earlier. I just--
401
00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:12,075
Just? Just what?
Just forgot?
402
00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:14,978
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?
403
00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,913
Meredith.
404
00:16:16,915 --> 00:16:18,698
Sure, I gave everybody
pink-eye once,
405
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,367
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.
406
00:16:20,369 --> 00:16:23,986
And, yeah, I BMed
in the Shredder on New Year's,
407
00:16:24,269 --> 00:16:25,904
but I didn't bring the lice in.
408
00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:28,461
That was all Pam.
409
00:16:28,798 --> 00:16:30,951
Attention, people of the office.
410
00:16:30,986 --> 00:16:34,769
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the*.
411
00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:36,730
At that time...
(Clicks)
412
00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:41,135
I will be tossing this powerful
insecticidal grenade,
413
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:45,607
which contains *,
as well as... (Clatters)
414
00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:47,954
(Gasps)
415
00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:48,984
Dwight, are you okay?
416
00:16:49,019 --> 00:16:50,873
(Caughs)
417
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,824
Well, the * effect that I don't
think has kicked in yet.
418
00:16:57,859 --> 00:16:59,502
I'm gonna count down for ten.
419
00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:01,186
Nine...
420
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,563
Yellow...
421
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:05,023
Cold.
422
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,171
♪
423
00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:08,341
Purple.
424
00:17:09,117 --> 00:17:11,968
Wow.
He got to purple.
425
00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:15,204
Ow!
426
00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:17,757
Sorry.
427
00:17:17,759 --> 00:17:21,228
[Chokes and sputters]
You're waterboarding me!
428
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:24,981
Oops.
429
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:36,059
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.
430
00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:41,064
This is okay.
431
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,899
Okay, you're up.
432
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:46,036
Yeah, I'm actually kind of sad
to see this baby go.
433
00:17:46,038 --> 00:17:48,071
You do kind of look like Elvis,
434
00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:53,409
but we should probably wash
all the dead lice out.
435
00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:59,883
- Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
436
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,587
Is that too cold?
437
00:18:04,589 --> 00:18:08,608
No. Actually,
it feels kind of nice.
438
00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:17,867
[Machine whirring,
plastic wrap bubbles popping]
439
00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:19,769
I wonder what happened
over there.
440
00:18:19,771 --> 00:18:21,721
I've been sitting here
the whole time.
441
00:18:21,723 --> 00:18:24,908
[Machine continues whirring]
442
00:18:28,212 --> 00:18:29,913
- Okay.
- Huh?
443
00:18:29,915 --> 00:18:32,382
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.
444
00:18:32,384 --> 00:18:34,334
Oh, no.
I mean, I want to.
445
00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,303
I just-- I don't want
to force you into doing
446
00:18:36,305 --> 00:18:37,754
something you don't want to do.
447
00:18:37,756 --> 00:18:40,957
You're not.
I believe in us.
448
00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,688
But--
449
00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:49,015
I'm back together with Val.
450
00:18:49,017 --> 00:18:51,601
Yay.
451
00:18:51,603 --> 00:18:55,188
[Humming]
452
00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,273
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
453
00:18:57,275 --> 00:18:58,474
Had a pretty good day today.
454
00:18:58,476 --> 00:18:59,693
[Coughs]
455
00:18:59,695 --> 00:19:01,578
Not everything went exactly
according to plan,
456
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:05,314
but, lice, if you are watching,
457
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:08,785
I am ready for you anytime,
anywhere.
458
00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:16,292
Hey, Erin already take off?
459
00:19:16,294 --> 00:19:19,662
I guess so.
460
00:19:19,664 --> 00:19:21,232
Okay.
461
00:19:24,502 --> 00:19:26,434
You're Kareem, coming to help.
462
00:19:26,435 --> 00:19:27,293
Okay, I'm Kareem.
463
00:19:27,294 --> 00:19:29,722
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.
464
00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:31,096
That sounds weird
to say out loud.
465
00:19:31,097 --> 00:19:32,948
And it went like this...
466
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,519
(Cell phone ringing)
And that's all.
467
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,375
No one will believe this
back home but that's okay.
468
00:19:40,376 --> 00:19:42,330
- Let me show you how...
- Yeah, you show me how to do it.
469
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,070
Hey, honey.
It's me.
470
00:19:48,071 --> 00:19:50,235
Just trying to catch you
before going home.
471
00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:51,288
Uh...
472
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:54,811
Well, just give me
a call whenever.
473
00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,742
Hope your day
got better. Love you.
474
00:19:58,177 --> 00:19:59,759
Hey.
475
00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:01,593
What're you doing right now?
476
00:20:01,628 --> 00:20:05,772
I'm just gonna go home.
My mom's been watching the kids all day.
477
00:20:06,435 --> 00:20:07,533
Let her stay another hour.
478
00:20:07,568 --> 00:20:08,999
Let's go get a beer.
479
00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:09,913
Really?
480
00:20:09,948 --> 00:20:12,712
A beer sounds
incredible right now.
481
00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:15,637
No-duh.
Let's go. You're buying.
482
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,021
(Laughs)
483
00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:20,687
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.
484
00:20:20,722 --> 00:20:21,924
Forget about it.
485
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,840
I just did not realize how hard it was
gonna be without Jim.
486
00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:28,131
I mean, I really respect you
487
00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:29,966
for being a single mom
all these years.
488
00:20:29,968 --> 00:20:32,669
It whipped my ass
in half a week.
489
00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:34,587
I have to say, there are
not a lot of people
490
00:20:34,589 --> 00:20:37,307
who could pull off a shaved
head, but you're rocking it.
491
00:20:37,309 --> 00:20:38,875
Right?
492
00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:40,176
I got the bartender's
phone number
493
00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:41,428
when you were in the john.
494
00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:43,179
I'm gonna take that freak
to bone town
495
00:20:43,181 --> 00:20:45,120
before the night is over.
[Laughs]
496
00:20:45,122 --> 00:20:47,072
Get it, girl!
497
00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,348
[Girls Just Want To Have Fun
playing]
498
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:56,319
This one's
for all you ladies out there.
499
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:56,544
♪
500
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,630
- ♪ I come-- ♪
- Not yet.
501
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,782
♪
502
00:21:00,784 --> 00:21:03,868
Both: ♪ I come home
in the middle of the night ♪
503
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:08,590
♪ my mother says, when you
gonna live your life right? ♪
504
00:21:08,592 --> 00:21:11,777
♪ oh, mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪
505
00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:15,320
♪ and girls, they
want to have fun ♪
506
00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:20,413
♪ oh, girls just
want to have fun ♪
507
00:21:20,414 --> 00:21:23,458
Sync and corrections by n17t01
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