1 00:00:00,475 --> 00:00:02,866 To me, the Sixers are *. 2 00:00:02,976 --> 00:00:05,408 I think they're going to the Conference finals. 3 00:00:05,410 --> 00:00:07,810 - No. - Bynum, an obvious monster. 4 00:00:07,812 --> 00:00:10,196 At three-point shooting, don't even-- 5 00:00:10,198 --> 00:00:14,033 I bit my lip at lunch today. 6 00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:17,036 Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it. 7 00:00:17,038 --> 00:00:18,338 The Knicks are tough. 8 00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:21,407 - The Nets are tough. - Oh, the Nets are super tough. 9 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:25,494 Now I have this big bump on my lip that hurts. 10 00:00:25,496 --> 00:00:27,764 I hate it. 11 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:31,234 The Hawks are terrible. They're always terrible. 12 00:00:31,236 --> 00:00:33,186 Okay, you need to think about it 13 00:00:33,188 --> 00:00:36,522 before you come with the-- 14 00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:40,326 Whatever. It's not a big deal. 15 00:00:40,328 --> 00:00:41,694 You know, I always tell my three-year-old, 16 00:00:41,696 --> 00:00:43,446 if this is the worst thing that's gonna happen-- 17 00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:45,314 You gotta be kidding me! 18 00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:51,104 Okay. Pam, that's it. I'm going home. 19 00:00:51,106 --> 00:00:53,673 [Cheerful music] 20 00:00:58,198 --> 00:01:00,502 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 21 00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:04,467 Morning, Meredith. 22 00:01:04,469 --> 00:01:05,518 What? 23 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,637 Oh, sorry. Pam. 24 00:01:07,639 --> 00:01:09,389 Yikes. 25 00:01:09,391 --> 00:01:13,109 Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly, 26 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:16,362 and I'm not gonna lie-- it's been challenging. 27 00:01:19,016 --> 00:01:21,034 Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. 28 00:01:21,036 --> 00:01:24,854 I found out Cece has lice, so I was up all night, 29 00:01:24,856 --> 00:01:28,691 disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, 30 00:01:28,693 --> 00:01:31,244 item of clothing in the entire house. 31 00:01:31,246 --> 00:01:35,214 I'm exhausted. But don't tell Jim. 32 00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:39,535 He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure, 33 00:01:39,537 --> 00:01:43,222 and he's doing it all for the family. 34 00:01:43,224 --> 00:01:45,475 I am meeting Dr. J today, 35 00:01:45,477 --> 00:01:47,093 otherwise known as Julius Erving, 36 00:01:47,095 --> 00:01:50,313 famed 76er and my own personal hero. 37 00:01:50,315 --> 00:01:52,398 But I have to be careful not to rub it in Pam's face 38 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,485 because, let's be honest, how would I feel 39 00:01:55,487 --> 00:01:57,136 if I was at home, stuck with the kids 40 00:01:57,138 --> 00:02:01,324 while she was go-karting with John Stamos? 41 00:02:01,326 --> 00:02:03,392 You sound tired. Everything okay? 42 00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,361 Great. Everything's great. 43 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:07,497 Hey, are you nervous about your big meeting? 44 00:02:07,499 --> 00:02:09,065 Uh, a little bit. 45 00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,917 It's a lot of pressure, you know? 46 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:12,618 But that's what I signed up for, right? 47 00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:16,255 - Jim, the limo's here. - Uh, you know what? 48 00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:18,091 I gotta hop off because my, uh, 49 00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:20,743 taxi is here to take me to the meeting. 50 00:02:20,745 --> 00:02:22,244 - Oh, call me later. - Okay. 51 00:02:22,246 --> 00:02:23,262 - Good luck. - Thanks. 52 00:02:23,264 --> 00:02:25,431 - I love you. - Love you too. Bye. 53 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,100 [Mouths words] 54 00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:28,418 How are you doing? 55 00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:30,603 Okay. I mean, it's what you want, so-- 56 00:02:30,605 --> 00:02:34,190 - It's how it has to be. - I know, I know. 57 00:02:34,192 --> 00:02:36,192 It's just hard. 58 00:02:36,194 --> 00:02:37,777 Me and Val were going nowhere, 59 00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:39,729 and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, 60 00:02:39,731 --> 00:02:41,064 I'm gonna need my freedom, 61 00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:43,432 so I convinced Val to break up with me. 62 00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:45,034 Here's how you do it. 63 00:02:45,036 --> 00:02:47,286 You say, "What are you gonna do, break up with me?" 64 00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:48,788 Like, as a joke. 65 00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,940 And then you gain a lot of weight. 66 00:02:50,942 --> 00:02:53,242 I'll never be sorry, not for a moment of it. 67 00:02:53,244 --> 00:02:55,945 Me neither. Come here. 68 00:02:58,448 --> 00:03:01,084 Hey, Meredith, I need your supply requests today. 69 00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:02,284 Jeez H in the morning, 70 00:03:02,286 --> 00:03:03,970 will you stop your nagging already? 71 00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:05,221 No wonder Jim left you. 72 00:03:05,223 --> 00:03:09,625 He didn't leave me. He just went part-time. 73 00:03:11,645 --> 00:03:13,012 Can you just fill out the form, please? 74 00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:16,399 Yes. [Scratching] 75 00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:18,518 I'm sure she's just confused. 76 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:22,355 People scratch their heads when they're confused. 77 00:03:22,357 --> 00:03:24,640 Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, 78 00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:26,659 but it happens. 79 00:03:26,661 --> 00:03:27,810 Hurry up already. 80 00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:29,362 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 81 00:03:29,364 --> 00:03:31,164 Between the foster homes and the orphanage, 82 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:33,649 I had lice 22 times. 83 00:03:33,651 --> 00:03:35,651 [Gasps] Holy wow, that's a big one. 84 00:03:35,653 --> 00:03:37,987 All right, pencils down, everyone-- we've got lice. 85 00:03:37,989 --> 00:03:39,321 [Groans] 86 00:03:39,323 --> 00:03:41,090 Oh, God, Meredith! Lice? 87 00:03:41,092 --> 00:03:43,292 Did you not sign a pledge to shower? 88 00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:47,463 What? Lice? Oh, my God. 89 00:03:47,465 --> 00:03:50,600 Lock the doors. We're on full quarantine. 90 00:03:50,602 --> 00:03:52,501 Dwight, relax. It's just lice. 91 00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:53,936 Maybe, possibly. 92 00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:56,806 Just lice, Pam? 93 00:03:56,808 --> 00:03:59,225 Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, 94 00:03:59,227 --> 00:04:01,511 lice are the ones I detest the most. 95 00:04:01,513 --> 00:04:03,863 My first day of school, I had lice, 96 00:04:03,865 --> 00:04:05,498 and no one would play with me. 97 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,517 For 15 years, they called me "freak" 98 00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:11,404 and "four eyes" and "sci-fi nerd" and "girl puncher," 99 00:04:11,406 --> 00:04:14,540 all because I had lice when I was seven. 100 00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:15,541 - Make way. - Dwight! 101 00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:18,544 No. Inspect me. 102 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:21,614 Oh, this is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen. 103 00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,082 - You are all clear. - I should be. 104 00:04:23,084 --> 00:04:24,917 I use lice shampoo every morning. 105 00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:25,918 [Sprays] 106 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,919 - Hey! - Oh! 107 00:04:26,921 --> 00:04:28,638 - Stop that! - Dwight! 108 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,840 [Coughs] Next. 109 00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,708 Jeez, Meredith, you know, this is an office. 110 00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,710 It's not one of your bean-bag orgies. 111 00:04:34,712 --> 00:04:36,562 Uh, let's give her a break. 112 00:04:36,564 --> 00:04:39,148 We don't know for sure this is Meredith's fault. 113 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,984 Pam, really? Come on. 114 00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:44,220 Hey, what do you want? I know who I am. 115 00:04:44,222 --> 00:04:47,190 Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer to the opera to meet the queen. 116 00:04:47,192 --> 00:04:48,191 - Lice. - [Gasps] 117 00:04:48,193 --> 00:04:49,242 - More lice. - [Groans] 118 00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:52,394 - Angela has lice. - Ew! Oh! [Groans] 119 00:04:52,396 --> 00:04:55,898 Ooh, yabber. Lice. Yikers. Lice. 120 00:04:55,900 --> 00:05:00,069 No. How? I am so clean. 121 00:05:00,071 --> 00:05:01,754 - Oh, yeah. Big-time lice. - Aah! 122 00:05:01,756 --> 00:05:04,006 I wash my hands at least six times a day. 123 00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:05,258 Toilet seat covers? 124 00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,959 Yes, thank you, even when I pee. 125 00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,961 Apparently, none of that is protection enough, 126 00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,097 not when it comes to Meredith. 127 00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:13,716 [Subdued chatter] 128 00:05:13,718 --> 00:05:15,101 - Ooh. - Oh. 129 00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:17,386 Hey, what are you wearing? 130 00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:19,088 It's a hazmat suit. 131 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:23,259 That stands for hazardous materials men's suit wearing. 132 00:05:23,261 --> 00:05:24,727 If you rent more than four times a year, 133 00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:26,362 it just makes sense to buy. 134 00:05:26,364 --> 00:05:31,284 Is there anyone else here that is lice-free? 135 00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,736 Excellent. You have your own hazmat suits? 136 00:05:33,738 --> 00:05:35,655 - No. - No. 137 00:05:35,657 --> 00:05:37,206 Ugh. Renters. 138 00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,108 Okay, I'm gonna need you to gather your belongings, 139 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:40,710 retreat to the warehouse. 140 00:05:40,712 --> 00:05:42,962 Conduct your business there 141 00:05:42,964 --> 00:05:45,081 until the infected have been de-loused. 142 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,115 Let's get going. 143 00:05:46,117 --> 00:05:47,550 I'm gonna stay here and fight. 144 00:05:47,552 --> 00:05:49,752 If you don't hear from me by lunch, call me. 145 00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:51,254 I might want lunch. 146 00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:53,806 All right. We're going down to my warehouse. 147 00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:55,892 That means we're playing by my rules. 148 00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:57,176 No messing with the baler, 149 00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,811 and be cool in front of me and Val. 150 00:05:58,813 --> 00:06:00,596 We just broke up. [Gasps] 151 00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:02,131 You got dumped? 152 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,650 - Yeah, she ended things. - Break-ups are the worst. 153 00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:06,235 The only thing that got me through mine 154 00:06:06,237 --> 00:06:08,137 was large amounts of Shepherd's pie and Brandy. 155 00:06:08,139 --> 00:06:10,072 The singer, not the drink. 156 00:06:10,074 --> 00:06:12,474 Here, man. 157 00:06:12,476 --> 00:06:14,860 You need them more than me. 158 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:18,247 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 159 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,785 Guys, I think we should all ease up on Meredith. 160 00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,787 This has got to be hard for her. 161 00:06:24,789 --> 00:06:25,788 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 162 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,540 I have not yet begun to shame. 163 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:28,991 That's it. I'm getting my stuff. 164 00:06:28,993 --> 00:06:30,009 I'm leaving for the day. 165 00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:32,328 No, Stanley, if you leave now, 166 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:33,495 then you'll get it in your car, 167 00:06:33,497 --> 00:06:34,513 and then you'll get it in your house! 168 00:06:34,515 --> 00:06:35,631 Get off me. 169 00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,466 I'm trying to save you from yourself! 170 00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:39,885 All right, I'll stay! 171 00:06:39,887 --> 00:06:42,855 There's a pencil poking in my rolls. 172 00:06:42,857 --> 00:06:45,191 Maybe it was Meredith. 173 00:06:45,193 --> 00:06:47,509 Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different 174 00:06:47,511 --> 00:06:50,112 than the lice that I got from Cece. 175 00:06:50,114 --> 00:06:52,281 So let's not jump to the simplest conclusion 176 00:06:52,283 --> 00:06:54,317 that she got her lice from me. 177 00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:59,288 That is how wars get started. 178 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:03,075 Fine, I'll tell her it was me. 179 00:07:03,077 --> 00:07:05,411 Oh, man. That's fresh-squeezed. 180 00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:08,197 And are all the snacks complimentary? 181 00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:10,166 Yeah, take some home if you want. 182 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:13,302 Oh, no, no, no. That's okay. I... 183 00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:23,262 Um, I'm sorry. Is this the conference center? 184 00:07:23,264 --> 00:07:24,880 No. Mr. Erving called. 185 00:07:24,882 --> 00:07:28,184 Said he's rather meet you at his private court. 186 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:32,605 You gotta be kidding me. 187 00:07:32,607 --> 00:07:33,906 [Electric razor buzzing] 188 00:07:33,908 --> 00:07:34,907 Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you something. 189 00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:36,192 Yeah, Pam? What do you want? 190 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,893 Oh, my God. Meredith, what are you doing? 191 00:07:37,895 --> 00:07:39,728 Bakin' a cake. What does it look like I'm doing? 192 00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:41,864 - Getting rid of the lice. - Oh, stop! I'm so sorry! 193 00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,516 [Microwave oven beeps] Oh, can you hold that thought? 194 00:07:43,518 --> 00:07:44,950 That's my wax. 195 00:07:44,952 --> 00:07:48,821 You know, I think these critters migrated from down south. 196 00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:50,373 What were you saying? 197 00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,291 Nothing. 198 00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,793 I'm going to tell her, 199 00:07:53,795 --> 00:07:56,412 but now is clearly not the time. 200 00:07:56,414 --> 00:08:00,082 I will buy her a wig, we'll have a few laughs. 201 00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:02,272 There's a right way to do this. 202 00:08:04,023 --> 00:08:07,225 ♪, ♪, 203 00:08:07,227 --> 00:08:10,011 follicle gypsies, hair lawyers. 204 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,647 One thing is clear-- it's kill or be killed! 205 00:08:12,649 --> 00:08:14,649 No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance, really. 206 00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:16,367 It's not that big a deal. 207 00:08:16,369 --> 00:08:18,453 So I've collected your hats and your coats... 208 00:08:18,455 --> 00:08:20,438 - To be burned! - ...to be washed. 209 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,939 What do we do about our heads? 210 00:08:21,941 --> 00:08:24,459 I'm not gonna lie. Lye! 211 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:27,128 No. All we need is mayonnaise. 212 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:29,631 - Excuse me? - She's right. It works. 213 00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:31,132 I would imagine. 214 00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:33,952 Yes. It helps to suffocate the little buddies, 215 00:08:33,954 --> 00:08:35,670 and it's a really healthy alternative 216 00:08:35,672 --> 00:08:38,256 to the chemicals found in most lice shampoos. 217 00:08:38,258 --> 00:08:39,757 I can appreciate that. 218 00:08:39,759 --> 00:08:44,512 I also only eat local organic produce. 219 00:08:44,514 --> 00:08:47,131 Sha-boom! How do you like me now? 220 00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:48,983 - Oh! - Wow! 221 00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:50,801 Take a picture. It'll last longer. 222 00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,737 We don't want it to last longer. It's horrible. 223 00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,939 - Bald people make me sick. - Yeah, yeah. 224 00:08:54,941 --> 00:08:56,941 Everybody pile on Meredith. 225 00:08:56,943 --> 00:08:58,309 But I'm the only one with the balls 226 00:08:58,311 --> 00:09:02,146 to show them lice who's boss. 227 00:09:02,148 --> 00:09:03,248 Okay, nobody panic. 228 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,617 If everybody just follows my instructions, 229 00:09:05,619 --> 00:09:07,235 then nobody else needs to end up bald. 230 00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:09,487 Not that it looks bad, Meredith. 231 00:09:09,489 --> 00:09:11,956 It looks-- it looks awesome. 232 00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:14,676 You look like a baby who suddenly aged 50 years. 233 00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:17,929 A cute baby, but something sucked the life force out of it. 234 00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,797 I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise. 235 00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:22,133 - We need it now. - Oh, uh, uh, I'll go. 236 00:09:22,135 --> 00:09:23,334 - Okay. - Oh, thank you. 237 00:09:23,336 --> 00:09:24,519 You're a saint, Pam. 238 00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:25,803 No, it's not a big deal, please, no. 239 00:09:25,805 --> 00:09:27,188 Uh, Meredith, could I get you something special 240 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:28,306 while I'm at the store? 241 00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:31,025 Candy or-- or one of those stylish turbans? 242 00:09:31,027 --> 00:09:32,310 Thanks, Pam. 243 00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:33,811 I'll take a pack of Nicorette gum 244 00:09:33,813 --> 00:09:34,812 and a pack of Kools. 245 00:09:34,814 --> 00:09:37,565 Okay. 246 00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:42,070 Let's talk pubes, people. 247 00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:46,658 - Hey, Darryl. - Oh, hey, Val. 248 00:09:49,528 --> 00:09:52,413 Darryl. Oh, that was tragic. 249 00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:55,550 Oh, that was like a car crash. I couldn't look away. 250 00:09:55,552 --> 00:09:58,503 You two still clearly have feelings for each other. 251 00:09:58,505 --> 00:09:59,921 Yeah. 252 00:09:59,923 --> 00:10:01,539 What's gonna make you feel better, big guy? 253 00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:03,057 When I was a kid, 254 00:10:03,059 --> 00:10:04,676 my grandmother used to make me chocolate cake 255 00:10:04,678 --> 00:10:06,711 when I wasn't feeling good. 256 00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,713 She's not around to do that anymore. 257 00:10:08,715 --> 00:10:10,014 I'm sorry. 258 00:10:10,016 --> 00:10:14,885 I just need a moment to myself, just to clear my head. 259 00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:16,070 Oh, poor Darryl. 260 00:10:16,072 --> 00:10:18,022 I can't bear to see him suffer like this. 261 00:10:18,024 --> 00:10:21,025 I think he needs some hugs 262 00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:23,745 and maybe some chocolate cake. 263 00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:27,398 Mmm. This won't help him. It's a muffin, not cake. 264 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,566 Listen, let's try and get Darryl 265 00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:29,917 the one thing in the world 266 00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:32,503 he clearly wants and needs the most. 267 00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:36,407 - An Escalade. - Or what's her name. 268 00:10:36,409 --> 00:10:38,092 Val. 269 00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:41,012 Let's get Darryl Val. 270 00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:43,131 I hope you don't mind me bringing you out here. 271 00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:44,682 I can't get my knees under a desk. 272 00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:45,883 Are you kidding me? 273 00:10:45,885 --> 00:10:47,685 I could literally scalp tickets to this. 274 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:49,637 Well, you think you could sink one from deep? 275 00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:52,423 Listen, I don't mean to intimidate you, 276 00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:54,108 but I did play a little high school ball. 277 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:58,062 Okay. 278 00:10:58,064 --> 00:11:01,649 Wow. Halpert's got game. All right. 279 00:11:01,651 --> 00:11:04,535 [Cell phone rings] Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. 280 00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:06,571 This is my wife. Can I take this? 281 00:11:06,573 --> 00:11:08,539 If it's your wife, you better take it. 282 00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:11,442 Right? [Laughs] 283 00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:14,045 Hey, what's up? Everything okay? 284 00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:15,713 Oh, no. Everything's great. 285 00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:18,633 Um, I was just calling to see, uh, how the meeting went. 286 00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:20,951 Oh, it's still happening right now, actually, so-- 287 00:11:20,953 --> 00:11:23,120 He's, uh, really making you work for it, huh? 288 00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:26,974 Yes, it is very stressful. Are you sure everything's okay? 289 00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:29,677 Great. I am killing it over here. 290 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,263 [Splat] 291 00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:34,515 - Jim, I gotta go. - Okay, bye. 292 00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:37,068 - So sorry about that. - Oh, no problem. 293 00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:38,686 Hey, Jim, what size do you wear, man? 294 00:11:38,688 --> 00:11:41,406 I got a pair of Japanese Nikes with your name on 'em. 295 00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:44,742 - What do you think? - I love it. 296 00:11:44,744 --> 00:11:46,027 Once it's all over your head, 297 00:11:46,029 --> 00:11:47,362 just leave it there for four hours. 298 00:11:47,364 --> 00:11:50,331 That will be enough time for the lice to fall asleep, 299 00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:52,533 suffocate, and then pass away. 300 00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:54,252 Oh, sure. 301 00:11:54,254 --> 00:11:56,371 And when you're ready to get serious, 302 00:11:56,373 --> 00:11:59,990 come to me to get it done right. 303 00:11:59,992 --> 00:12:03,761 Put those away before you hurt yourself. 304 00:12:03,763 --> 00:12:04,762 [Fabric rips] 305 00:12:04,764 --> 00:12:07,632 - [Gasps] - Oh, God. Oh, no. 306 00:12:07,634 --> 00:12:11,636 No. No! 307 00:12:11,638 --> 00:12:14,972 No! No! No! 308 00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:18,342 No! No! 309 00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:20,228 Okay, it's easier with a buddy, 310 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,729 so everybody pair up. 311 00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:24,232 Oscar, you want to be my partner? 312 00:12:24,234 --> 00:12:27,485 Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'd love to. 313 00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:30,037 Hey, uh, mayo buddy, $5 tip, 314 00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,457 you unclog my ears, okay? 315 00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,542 Oh, Creed, I'm so sorry. 316 00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:36,961 I'm-- I'm already partners with Pete. Right, Pete? 317 00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,379 Uh, yeah. 318 00:12:38,381 --> 00:12:40,531 We promised each other if we ever got lice, 319 00:12:40,533 --> 00:12:43,968 we'd buddy up, so, sorry, man. 320 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:48,205 Hey, Creed. Want to be my buddy? 321 00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:51,008 Oh, God. Stuck with the weirdo. 322 00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:55,880 [Sighs] 323 00:12:55,882 --> 00:12:56,881 [Hard slaps] 324 00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:57,932 Angela. 325 00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,318 You don't want bugs, you know? 326 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,188 Who knows where those bugs will end up. 327 00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:06,724 You're getting a bargain. I ain't got no hair no more. 328 00:13:06,726 --> 00:13:09,226 [Sighs] 329 00:13:09,228 --> 00:13:13,898 Creed, I'm all done. My turn. 330 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:17,067 I'm sorry, Pam. It looks a little messy. 331 00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:19,170 Well, wait. 332 00:13:22,374 --> 00:13:25,176 - How's that? - I feel it working. 333 00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:27,244 [Both grunt] 334 00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:29,180 Ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk, ksk. 335 00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:31,516 - Eiffel tower. - Oh! [Laughs] 336 00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:33,684 Now. 337 00:13:33,686 --> 00:13:34,469 Can I help you? 338 00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:37,355 - Well-- - Um-- 339 00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:38,689 We don't want to pry, 340 00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:40,558 but we heard you broke up with Darryl. 341 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,776 Yeah, that's true. 342 00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:43,611 We think you made a big, big mistake. 343 00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:45,830 - Big mistake. - Quite enormous. 344 00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:49,333 He's a real catch, and you should take him back. 345 00:13:49,335 --> 00:13:52,286 Okay. Thank you. Is that all? 346 00:13:52,288 --> 00:13:54,405 No. No, that is not all. 347 00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:56,707 Let me tell you what real life is like. 348 00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:59,010 The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. 349 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,678 The only calls on your machine 350 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,013 are from collection agencies 351 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,264 about that pair of motorcycle boots 352 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:04,549 you've never even worn. 353 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:07,685 You stalk your old high school boyfriend online, 354 00:14:07,687 --> 00:14:09,520 go to his daughter's soccer games, and make a scene. 355 00:14:09,522 --> 00:14:11,622 You buy a diamond ring for yourself 356 00:14:11,624 --> 00:14:13,090 wear it on your right hand, 357 00:14:13,092 --> 00:14:15,259 and tell yourself you're all you need. 358 00:14:15,261 --> 00:14:18,613 One day, you're alone, tired. 359 00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:20,698 At your feet, a dying bird. 360 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,400 But where did it come from? 361 00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:23,985 Why did you kill it? 362 00:14:23,987 --> 00:14:25,870 It is because, in some strange way, 363 00:14:25,872 --> 00:14:27,605 it is you? 364 00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:29,540 Thank you all for your concern, 365 00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:32,126 but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, okay? 366 00:14:32,128 --> 00:14:35,630 - Pfft! Well. - Thank you. 367 00:14:35,632 --> 00:14:37,798 Thank you. 368 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,284 So does this mean you're gonna take Darryl back? 369 00:14:40,286 --> 00:14:41,886 No. 370 00:14:41,888 --> 00:14:43,170 Well, then, what would you say 371 00:14:43,172 --> 00:14:46,457 to you and me hitting the town? 372 00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:50,228 'Cause I'm free, literally, forever. 373 00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:52,313 Yeah, Kevin asked me out. 374 00:14:52,315 --> 00:14:54,565 I was kind of feeling good about re-entering the dating pool, 375 00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,734 and then Kevin asked me out. 376 00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:59,937 Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. 377 00:14:59,939 --> 00:15:02,724 Then Kevin asked me out. 378 00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:11,332 [Phone rings] 379 00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:13,918 [Mayonnaise splats] 380 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,037 - Hello? - Hi, honey, it's mom. 381 00:15:16,039 --> 00:15:17,655 Look, Cece's school just called. 382 00:15:17,657 --> 00:15:20,991 - She still has lice. - What? No, that can't-- 383 00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:22,510 I don't-- - Now, don't worry, don't worry. 384 00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:23,961 I'm on my way to pick her up, 385 00:15:23,963 --> 00:15:25,596 but you might have lice too. 386 00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:26,797 You know, lice can be tricky. 387 00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:28,966 Sometimes lice, like... [Phone clatters] 388 00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:31,686 - Oh, my God. - Shave her head. 389 00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:35,296 Shave her head! 390 00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:40,410 You guys, I am so sorry! 391 00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:42,779 It's just been so chaotic with Jim gone that I-- 392 00:15:42,781 --> 00:15:44,131 Yeah, yeah, princess fancy-pants 393 00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:46,583 letting Jane 12-pack over here take the fall! 394 00:15:46,585 --> 00:15:48,251 [Amplified] She's right, Pam. 395 00:15:48,253 --> 00:15:50,303 Is there a volume knob on that thing? 396 00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:53,423 Yes, there's a volume knob on that thing! 397 00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:58,678 Meredith, I am so sorry. 398 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,130 Well, a lot of good your sorrys are doing her now, Pam. 399 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:04,734 She's a monster. 400 00:16:04,736 --> 00:16:07,604 I meant to say something earlier. I just-- 401 00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:12,075 Just? Just what? Just forgot? 402 00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:14,978 Who's the one that didn't bring lice into the office? 403 00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,913 Meredith. 404 00:16:16,915 --> 00:16:18,698 Sure, I gave everybody pink-eye once, 405 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,367 and my ex keyed a few of their cars. 406 00:16:20,369 --> 00:16:23,986 And, yeah, I BMed in the Shredder on New Year's, 407 00:16:24,269 --> 00:16:25,904 but I didn't bring the lice in. 408 00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:28,461 That was all Pam. 409 00:16:28,798 --> 00:16:30,951 Attention, people of the office. 410 00:16:30,986 --> 00:16:34,769 You have exactly 60 seconds to evacuate the*. 411 00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:36,730 At that time... (Clicks) 412 00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:41,135 I will be tossing this powerful insecticidal grenade, 413 00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:45,607 which contains *, as well as... (Clatters) 414 00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:47,954 (Gasps) 415 00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:48,984 Dwight, are you okay? 416 00:16:49,019 --> 00:16:50,873 (Caughs) 417 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,824 Well, the * effect that I don't think has kicked in yet. 418 00:16:57,859 --> 00:16:59,502 I'm gonna count down for ten. 419 00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:01,186 Nine... 420 00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,563 Yellow... 421 00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:05,023 Cold. 422 00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,171 ♪ 423 00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:08,341 Purple. 424 00:17:09,117 --> 00:17:11,968 Wow. He got to purple. 425 00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:15,204 Ow! 426 00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:17,757 Sorry. 427 00:17:17,759 --> 00:17:21,228 [Chokes and sputters] You're waterboarding me! 428 00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:24,981 Oops. 429 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:36,059 No, this is fine. We're allowed to do this. 430 00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:41,064 This is okay. 431 00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,899 Okay, you're up. 432 00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:46,036 Yeah, I'm actually kind of sad to see this baby go. 433 00:17:46,038 --> 00:17:48,071 You do kind of look like Elvis, 434 00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:53,409 but we should probably wash all the dead lice out. 435 00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:59,883 - Okay. - Okay. Okay. 436 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,587 Is that too cold? 437 00:18:04,589 --> 00:18:08,608 No. Actually, it feels kind of nice. 438 00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:17,867 [Machine whirring, plastic wrap bubbles popping] 439 00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:19,769 I wonder what happened over there. 440 00:18:19,771 --> 00:18:21,721 I've been sitting here the whole time. 441 00:18:21,723 --> 00:18:24,908 [Machine continues whirring] 442 00:18:28,212 --> 00:18:29,913 - Okay. - Huh? 443 00:18:29,915 --> 00:18:32,382 Let's give it a shot. Let's make it work. 444 00:18:32,384 --> 00:18:34,334 Oh, no. I mean, I want to. 445 00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,303 I just-- I don't want to force you into doing 446 00:18:36,305 --> 00:18:37,754 something you don't want to do. 447 00:18:37,756 --> 00:18:40,957 You're not. I believe in us. 448 00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,688 But-- 449 00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:49,015 I'm back together with Val. 450 00:18:49,017 --> 00:18:51,601 Yay. 451 00:18:51,603 --> 00:18:55,188 [Humming] 452 00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,273 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 453 00:18:57,275 --> 00:18:58,474 Had a pretty good day today. 454 00:18:58,476 --> 00:18:59,693 [Coughs] 455 00:18:59,695 --> 00:19:01,578 Not everything went exactly according to plan, 456 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:05,314 but, lice, if you are watching, 457 00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:08,785 I am ready for you anytime, anywhere. 458 00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:16,292 Hey, Erin already take off? 459 00:19:16,294 --> 00:19:19,662 I guess so. 460 00:19:19,664 --> 00:19:21,232 Okay. 461 00:19:24,502 --> 00:19:26,434 You're Kareem, coming to help. 462 00:19:26,435 --> 00:19:27,293 Okay, I'm Kareem. 463 00:19:27,294 --> 00:19:29,722 That makes total sense. I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J. 464 00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:31,096 That sounds weird to say out loud. 465 00:19:31,097 --> 00:19:32,948 And it went like this... 466 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,519 (Cell phone ringing) And that's all. 467 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,375 No one will believe this back home but that's okay. 468 00:19:40,376 --> 00:19:42,330 - Let me show you how... - Yeah, you show me how to do it. 469 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,070 Hey, honey. It's me. 470 00:19:48,071 --> 00:19:50,235 Just trying to catch you before going home. 471 00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:51,288 Uh... 472 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:54,811 Well, just give me a call whenever. 473 00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,742 Hope your day got better. Love you. 474 00:19:58,177 --> 00:19:59,759 Hey. 475 00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:01,593 What're you doing right now? 476 00:20:01,628 --> 00:20:05,772 I'm just gonna go home. My mom's been watching the kids all day. 477 00:20:06,435 --> 00:20:07,533 Let her stay another hour. 478 00:20:07,568 --> 00:20:08,999 Let's go get a beer. 479 00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:09,913 Really? 480 00:20:09,948 --> 00:20:12,712 A beer sounds incredible right now. 481 00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:15,637 No-duh. Let's go. You're buying. 482 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,021 (Laughs) 483 00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:20,687 Meredith, I am so sorry about today. 484 00:20:20,722 --> 00:20:21,924 Forget about it. 485 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,840 I just did not realize how hard it was gonna be without Jim. 486 00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:28,131 I mean, I really respect you 487 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:29,966 for being a single mom all these years. 488 00:20:29,968 --> 00:20:32,669 It whipped my ass in half a week. 489 00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:34,587 I have to say, there are not a lot of people 490 00:20:34,589 --> 00:20:37,307 who could pull off a shaved head, but you're rocking it. 491 00:20:37,309 --> 00:20:38,875 Right? 492 00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:40,176 I got the bartender's phone number 493 00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:41,428 when you were in the john. 494 00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:43,179 I'm gonna take that freak to bone town 495 00:20:43,181 --> 00:20:45,120 before the night is over. [Laughs] 496 00:20:45,122 --> 00:20:47,072 Get it, girl! 497 00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,348 [Girls Just Want To Have Fun playing] 498 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:56,319 This one's for all you ladies out there. 499 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:56,544 ♪ 500 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,630 - ♪ I come-- ♪ - Not yet. 501 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,782 ♪ 502 00:21:00,784 --> 00:21:03,868 Both: ♪ I come home in the middle of the night ♪ 503 00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:08,590 ♪ my mother says, when you gonna live your life right? ♪ 504 00:21:08,592 --> 00:21:11,777 ♪ oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones ♪ 505 00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:15,320 ♪ and girls, they want to have fun ♪ 506 00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:20,413 ♪ oh, girls just want to have fun ♪ 507 00:21:20,414 --> 00:21:23,458 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com