1
00:00:01,319 --> 00:00:03,679
All right, everybody.
Great season of softball,
2
00:00:03,808 --> 00:00:05,143
I'm super proud of you, guys.
3
00:00:05,267 --> 00:00:06,827
And I think you're
gonna like this
4
00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:08,914
little highlight reel
that I've put together.
5
00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:11,285
Dunder Mifflin!
6
00:00:11,535 --> 00:00:12,840
Andy Bernard presents...
7
00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:15,284
Summer Softball, epic fails!
8
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:18,305
[Fart] Fail.
9
00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:19,739
[Fart] Fail.
10
00:00:19,741 --> 00:00:21,374
- That's me.
- [Fart] Fail.
11
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,076
Is this like a blooper reel?
12
00:00:23,078 --> 00:00:25,679
A blooper reel?
What is this, 2005?
13
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:27,581
Do I look like Bob Saget?
14
00:00:27,583 --> 00:00:29,849
Fail!
15
00:00:29,851 --> 00:00:32,052
Who's this guy?
16
00:00:32,054 --> 00:00:33,920
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
17
00:00:33,922 --> 00:00:35,655
Look at him dance.
Fail!
18
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:36,690
Fail.
19
00:00:36,692 --> 00:00:38,325
I deserve that.
20
00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:40,860
♪ Doont-de-doont-de-doont,
doont-de-doont-de-doont ♪
21
00:00:40,862 --> 00:00:42,229
That was a triple.
22
00:00:42,231 --> 00:00:44,998
Can't take the fail?
Get out of the fail video!
23
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:45,999
My pleasure.
24
00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:47,734
[High-pitched]
Hi, I'm Pete.
25
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:50,036
Puberty is such a drag, man.
26
00:00:50,038 --> 00:00:53,373
And I'm Clark.
I like to eat toilet paper.
27
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:55,008
We fail.
28
00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:59,079
I'd like to take a solemn moment
to remember Jerry,
29
00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:01,348
in the warehouse,
who passed away this year.
30
00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:04,451
[Farting]
31
00:01:06,354 --> 00:01:08,288
Well, that's all, folks.
32
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,223
Ski you later, everybody.
33
00:01:10,225 --> 00:01:11,925
Thanks for a great season.
34
00:01:11,927 --> 00:01:13,760
What was that?
35
00:01:13,762 --> 00:01:16,563
That was just normal video
with you making vulgar noises.
36
00:01:16,565 --> 00:01:18,431
Well, I worked
with what I had, Oscar.
37
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:22,535
Next time,
do more fail-ier stuff, okay?
38
00:01:22,537 --> 00:01:23,770
What happened
to that video I sent you?
39
00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:26,039
Oh, that wasn't--
that didn't work.
40
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,107
That was...
not the right thing.
41
00:01:27,109 --> 00:01:28,174
- Wait, let's see it.
- Play it.
42
00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:30,877
- I think I got it right here.
- No--
43
00:01:30,879 --> 00:01:33,847
[Crowd cheering]
44
00:01:37,451 --> 00:01:39,452
Oh!
45
00:01:39,454 --> 00:01:41,821
Forgot about this.
[Laughter]
46
00:01:41,823 --> 00:01:43,256
[All clapping]
47
00:01:43,258 --> 00:01:44,557
That was not a fail.
48
00:01:44,559 --> 00:01:46,660
That was actually
a serious accident
49
00:01:46,662 --> 00:01:48,061
that could've resulted
in severe bodily harm.
50
00:01:48,063 --> 00:01:49,963
All: - Fail, fail, fail.
- You're all failing right now.
51
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:52,132
Congratulations
on your epic fail
52
00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:54,267
of the use of the word fail.
53
00:01:54,269 --> 00:01:57,270
[Cheerful music]
54
00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:03,753
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
55
00:02:03,788 --> 00:02:05,645
[Alarm beeping]
56
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:09,449
Oh, God.
57
00:02:09,451 --> 00:02:10,717
What's going on?
58
00:02:10,719 --> 00:02:12,819
Nothing, nothing is going on.
Keep moving, please.
59
00:02:12,821 --> 00:02:14,154
What's he measuring?
60
00:02:14,156 --> 00:02:16,289
Okay, excuse me,
I'm the landlord.
61
00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:17,524
This is between me
and the management,
62
00:02:17,526 --> 00:02:18,825
no one else, please.
63
00:02:18,827 --> 00:02:20,427
It's an EMF hotspot.
64
00:02:20,429 --> 00:02:21,828
[Gasps] Oh, my God!
65
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,364
It stands for electromagnetic
fields generally caused
66
00:02:24,366 --> 00:02:26,666
by a concentration of wiring
in one area,
67
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,768
especially if poorly insulated.
68
00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:30,503
Dwight?
69
00:02:30,505 --> 00:02:33,740
Um, okay,
I'm just walking into this.
70
00:02:33,742 --> 00:02:36,643
Am I to understand
there's a beehive in the wall?
71
00:02:36,645 --> 00:02:39,512
You think I have a machine
for measuring beehives?
72
00:02:39,514 --> 00:02:41,214
I was just asking
a question, Toby.
73
00:02:41,216 --> 00:02:42,682
How are you not murdered
every hour?
74
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,885
Well, I'm not getting paid
to work in a microwave oven.
75
00:02:45,887 --> 00:02:49,689
Okay, listen,
everything here is up to code.
76
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:52,392
Oh, the wires need insulation.
77
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:55,762
It's a wire, people.
I'm not buying it a fur coat.
78
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,835
- Thank you.
- You got it.
79
00:03:01,837 --> 00:03:05,138
Last week, I finally told Pam
about the other job
80
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:07,307
- I took in Philly, the side job.
- Thank you.
81
00:03:07,309 --> 00:03:11,010
And she was
so incredibly cool about it.
82
00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:15,115
And now, I just want to do
something huge for her.
83
00:03:15,117 --> 00:03:17,283
Like if we were
in some biker bar,
84
00:03:17,285 --> 00:03:18,818
and she mouthed off
to some bikers,
85
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,721
and they came lumbering over,
and I was like, "wham!
86
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,157
Gotta go through me first."
87
00:03:30,131 --> 00:03:32,165
[Knocks at door]
88
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,666
Andy, could I have a word,
please?
89
00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:35,268
Um, it won't take a moment.
90
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:36,836
It's extremely important,
91
00:03:36,838 --> 00:03:38,872
and it really has
to happen now.
92
00:03:38,874 --> 00:03:41,441
Fine, I will give you
one minute--
93
00:03:41,443 --> 00:03:43,243
Oh, please, don't use
the hourglass.
94
00:03:43,245 --> 00:03:45,412
You have one minute,
and your minute has begun,
95
00:03:45,414 --> 00:03:47,714
and no time will be added
at the end,
96
00:03:47,716 --> 00:03:49,582
even to accommodate
this sentence
97
00:03:49,584 --> 00:03:52,485
with all of its
baroque-dependent clauses
98
00:03:52,487 --> 00:03:56,489
and cascading turns of phrase.
99
00:03:56,491 --> 00:03:58,324
I'm trying to adopt a baby.
100
00:03:58,326 --> 00:04:01,694
A baby what?
A human?
101
00:04:01,696 --> 00:04:04,564
And the agency require
character reference
102
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:05,598
from my employer.
103
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,933
Oh.
104
00:04:06,935 --> 00:04:08,168
You won't have to do anything.
105
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,169
I would write
the letter myself.
106
00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:11,271
You'd just need
to sign it, so--
107
00:04:11,273 --> 00:04:17,043
Okay, and fall right into your
plagiarism-entrapment scheme?
108
00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:19,446
- I don't think so.
- It's not--
109
00:04:19,448 --> 00:04:22,282
And I happen to notice you're
down to about 30 seconds here.
110
00:04:22,284 --> 00:04:23,650
Well, then, if I could just
convince you that you--
111
00:04:23,652 --> 00:04:26,052
And those sand grains
are tumbling with fury down--
112
00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:28,555
It's not entrapment
if I'm writing--
113
00:04:28,557 --> 00:04:29,923
Time's up!
114
00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:32,025
Fine.
115
00:04:32,027 --> 00:04:33,493
Sure, I'll read her letter,
116
00:04:33,495 --> 00:04:35,361
and if she tells the truth
117
00:04:35,363 --> 00:04:38,064
about how evil and unfit
to be a mother she is,
118
00:04:38,066 --> 00:04:40,300
then, yeah, I'll sign that.
119
00:04:40,302 --> 00:04:43,670
"Statistical correlations
exist between EMF radiation
120
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:46,105
and various health hazards,
121
00:04:46,107 --> 00:04:49,409
but mainstream studies
are inconclusive."
122
00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:52,045
That means
you can't make me do squat.
123
00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:53,046
You better fix this.
124
00:04:53,048 --> 00:04:54,280
I already ditched my uterus,
125
00:04:54,282 --> 00:04:56,182
and I ain't losing
any more good parts.
126
00:04:56,184 --> 00:04:57,851
You people don't realize
what you're asking.
127
00:04:57,853 --> 00:04:59,652
I'd have to rip open the walls.
128
00:04:59,654 --> 00:05:03,056
I'd have to shut this place down
for a week.
129
00:05:03,058 --> 00:05:05,191
Week off.
That'd be great.
130
00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:18,338
Hey, if you don't want
to teach me PowerPoint,
131
00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,539
just say so.
132
00:05:19,541 --> 00:05:20,673
I don't want
to teach you PowerPoint.
133
00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:22,942
Come on.
Just show me PowerPoint.
134
00:05:22,944 --> 00:05:25,111
- Just do the tutorial.
- You're the tutorial.
135
00:05:25,113 --> 00:05:27,714
No, dude, I'm not.
I'm not the tutorial.
136
00:05:27,716 --> 00:05:28,715
- You could be.
- Mm-mm.
137
00:05:28,717 --> 00:05:30,116
[Microwave beeping]
138
00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:33,353
What are you doing?
139
00:05:33,355 --> 00:05:35,021
Getting my wife a week off
from work.
140
00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:37,090
You popped one kernel.
141
00:05:37,092 --> 00:05:41,327
Awesome, right?
142
00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:43,329
So creed
is that dude's stepdad?
143
00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:45,331
Correct.
144
00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:48,501
Well, I don't know
about the rest of you,
145
00:05:48,503 --> 00:05:51,204
but I'm just going to say it;
I'm nervous.
146
00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,206
I have no idea
what health problems
147
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:54,641
this is all going to cause.
148
00:05:54,643 --> 00:05:55,909
- He's right.
- What? Come on.
149
00:05:55,911 --> 00:05:57,210
I'm getting older.
I'm losing my hair.
150
00:05:57,212 --> 00:05:58,845
- I'm sorry.
- I'm gonna grow a third arm.
151
00:05:58,847 --> 00:06:00,613
I know what Jim
is trying to do.
152
00:06:00,615 --> 00:06:01,848
He's trying to get
big, bad Dwight
153
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,650
to shell out
for a huge repair job,
154
00:06:03,652 --> 00:06:05,885
while Lucky Jimbo gets
a paid vacation.
155
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,654
Well, sorry, Lucky Jimbo,
156
00:06:07,656 --> 00:06:10,023
I can live very happily
in a magnetic field.
157
00:06:10,025 --> 00:06:13,059
Most of my childhood heroes
got their powers that way.
158
00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:16,029
Side effects of EMF
include headaches--
159
00:06:16,031 --> 00:06:17,463
Had them all my life.
160
00:06:17,465 --> 00:06:19,198
Breast pain--
161
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,701
No nobbies, no probbies.
Nice try, Jim.
162
00:06:21,703 --> 00:06:23,269
Oof.
Infertility.
163
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:27,340
[Scoffs] Yeah, right.
164
00:06:34,682 --> 00:06:38,117
Ah, there's my popcorn.
Can you just grab that for me?
165
00:06:38,119 --> 00:06:41,621
Keep your snacks
on your side, Jim, idiot.
166
00:06:41,623 --> 00:06:45,425
- What the--?
- What?
167
00:06:45,427 --> 00:06:46,960
Some of these kernels
have crowned.
168
00:06:46,962 --> 00:06:51,698
That's impossible
'cause that's a brand-new bag.
169
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,534
Oh, my God.
170
00:06:56,337 --> 00:06:58,271
Andy!
171
00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:03,476
I'm going to drive you
up to the lake,
172
00:07:03,478 --> 00:07:04,811
give you a whole week
on the water,
173
00:07:04,813 --> 00:07:06,713
just you, me, and the kids.
174
00:07:06,715 --> 00:07:08,648
Oh, can we stop
by that pie stand on the way?
175
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:11,484
You mean, "Laverne's Pies,
Tires Fixed Also"? Yes.
176
00:07:11,486 --> 00:07:13,386
We will be doing that,
and we'll be getting a dozen.
177
00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:15,622
A dozen different pies?
'Cause that means rhubarb.
178
00:07:15,624 --> 00:07:16,623
Why would you say that?
179
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,091
I meant four apple,
four blueberry,
180
00:07:18,093 --> 00:07:19,592
two cherry, one peach,
one chocolate.
181
00:07:19,594 --> 00:07:21,027
I thought that was implied.
182
00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:22,462
Yeah, okay, then.
[Door opening]
183
00:07:22,464 --> 00:07:24,864
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have heard your complaints,
184
00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:26,933
and we reached a settlement.
185
00:07:26,935 --> 00:07:28,234
So...
186
00:07:28,236 --> 00:07:30,937
We will be leaving the office
for one whole week.
187
00:07:30,939 --> 00:07:32,472
Nice job.
188
00:07:32,474 --> 00:07:34,941
In my contract,
it is stipulated
189
00:07:34,943 --> 00:07:36,976
that I provide
a temporary work space.
190
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,578
It will arrive in one hour.
191
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,079
What?
192
00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:41,414
- What's this?
- Oh!
193
00:07:41,416 --> 00:07:43,282
- What?
- Bring it in.
194
00:07:43,284 --> 00:07:45,985
Roll into the future
with work bus.
195
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,621
Say good-bye
to wasteful buildings.
196
00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:49,922
These days, a mobile office
197
00:07:49,924 --> 00:07:51,958
isn't just
for hotshot politicians.
198
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,459
Now anyone can rent a work bus.
199
00:07:53,461 --> 00:07:54,927
If you've got a parking lot,
200
00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:57,864
a work space is just
a phone call away.
201
00:07:57,866 --> 00:07:59,098
In this age
202
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,300
of belt-tightening
and less-empowered workers,
203
00:08:01,302 --> 00:08:02,301
a work bus
204
00:08:02,303 --> 00:08:06,439
is how tomorrow
gets things done.
205
00:08:10,092 --> 00:08:11,658
- Shh!
- Shh!
206
00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:12,692
Shh!
$23.99 a page, yes.
207
00:08:12,694 --> 00:08:14,527
- Six. Yes.
- Yeah.
208
00:08:14,529 --> 00:08:15,562
- [Screams]
- Oh, sorry about that.
209
00:08:15,564 --> 00:08:16,596
Oh, my God!
210
00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:18,431
Oops. Sorry.
211
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:19,999
Lose weight.
212
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,168
I'm trying.
Sorry.
213
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,106
Ah.
214
00:08:26,108 --> 00:08:27,674
The Pennsylvania Department
of Public Welfare
215
00:08:27,676 --> 00:08:29,242
pre-adoption standard?
216
00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:31,845
Oh, of course,
you were adopted.
217
00:08:31,847 --> 00:08:34,013
[Scoffs] I wish.
218
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:37,417
No, I made some short lists,
I had a couple of sleepovers,
219
00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:40,587
but I never managed to get
in the end-zone.
220
00:08:40,589 --> 00:08:42,822
I don't know what it was.
221
00:08:42,824 --> 00:08:44,391
Not lovable, maybe?
222
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:45,592
Oh, well.
223
00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:47,761
Listen, I'm really struggling
with this form.
224
00:08:47,763 --> 00:08:50,263
But as you know the system,
do you think maybe you could--
225
00:08:50,265 --> 00:08:52,532
Absolutely, I know exactly
what they want to hear.
226
00:08:52,534 --> 00:08:53,733
I would--
I would love to help.
227
00:08:53,735 --> 00:08:56,469
Oh, thank you so much.
228
00:08:56,471 --> 00:08:58,638
[Whispering]
Just don't tell Andy because--
229
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,639
- He hates me.
- And--
230
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:00,974
- Thinks I'm a monster.
- That--
231
00:09:00,976 --> 00:09:03,543
- Should go back to Loch Ness.
232
00:09:03,545 --> 00:09:06,880
Stretch.
All right.
233
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:09,616
How many times do you need
to take a stroll?
234
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:13,086
I-- my legs cramp up, okay?
It's a circulation issue.
235
00:09:13,088 --> 00:09:14,587
Boy, I will hammer-spank
your rear.
236
00:09:14,589 --> 00:09:16,156
All right, all right, gang.
237
00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:17,991
Let's just settle down.
You're yelling in her face.
238
00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:19,459
It's a medical thing.
239
00:09:19,461 --> 00:09:20,760
Just-- You good?
240
00:09:20,762 --> 00:09:23,496
I'm good. I--
[Sighs]
241
00:09:23,498 --> 00:09:25,665
I'm so sorry for all of this.
242
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,967
It's okay.
243
00:09:27,969 --> 00:09:31,137
You know what they say,
a change is as good as a rest.
244
00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:33,139
I-- I need to get
to the paper, please.
245
00:09:33,141 --> 00:09:34,140
Sorry.
246
00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:35,275
Oh, God!
247
00:09:35,277 --> 00:09:36,576
- Oh, oh, my God!
- Okay--
248
00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:38,077
- Oh!
- I'll get you a napkin.
249
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:39,546
Can someone get napkins,
please?
250
00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:41,714
You know what, it's fine.
It's fine, let me just--
251
00:09:41,716 --> 00:09:42,715
It's fine.
252
00:09:42,717 --> 00:09:46,152
Pam, I'm really sorry.
I just--
253
00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:48,154
I'm-- I'm really sorry
about all that.
254
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,193
Really?
Smirking?
255
00:09:53,195 --> 00:09:55,995
What can I say?
I love justice.
256
00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:58,398
You forced me to spend money
on needless repairs,
257
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,433
and now you're locked
in a prison bus,
258
00:10:00,435 --> 00:10:02,368
and your woman drips
with beverage.
259
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,537
Hey, Dwight, I was trying
to do something nice for Pam.
260
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:06,473
Can you just help me out?
261
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,675
Can we maybe take
this thing somewhere,
262
00:10:08,677 --> 00:10:10,844
or do something to not make this
the worst day ever?
263
00:10:10,846 --> 00:10:13,813
It's not my responsibility
to solve your marriage problems
264
00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:17,183
by spending my money on gas.
265
00:10:18,519 --> 00:10:20,587
Andy!
266
00:10:20,589 --> 00:10:22,021
Yo!
Toonces.
267
00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:23,456
You're the boss.
268
00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:24,457
Don't you think we'd all be
a lot more productive
269
00:10:24,459 --> 00:10:25,458
if while we were doing work,
270
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:26,826
we looked up and saw
271
00:10:26,828 --> 00:10:28,795
the best rural pie stand
in Pennsylvania?
272
00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:31,231
Ooh, I know
I'd be more productive.
273
00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:33,566
- As would I.
- No question.
274
00:10:33,568 --> 00:10:35,735
No! No!
This is a work bus.
275
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:38,037
The wheels are for transporting
the work space
276
00:10:38,039 --> 00:10:39,572
to and from the work site.
277
00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:40,840
What are you talking about?
278
00:10:40,842 --> 00:10:43,443
You're not the boss, Andy is.
Andy?
279
00:10:43,445 --> 00:10:47,347
All: Pies, pies, pies,
pies, pies, pies.
280
00:10:47,349 --> 00:10:52,018
All right!
The fat people have spoken.
281
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,254
Dwight, get this bus moving.
282
00:10:54,256 --> 00:10:57,056
[All cheering and clapping]
283
00:10:57,058 --> 00:11:00,627
Next stop, Laverne's Pies,
Tires Fixed Also.
284
00:11:00,629 --> 00:11:02,862
Oh, yes!
285
00:11:02,864 --> 00:11:03,863
[All cheering and clapping]
286
00:11:03,865 --> 00:11:06,799
Yeah, Jim!
287
00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:08,234
So it looks like this work bus
288
00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:10,937
was a pretty good idea
after all, huh?
289
00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:12,872
Get your foot
behind the yellow line.
290
00:11:12,874 --> 00:11:14,874
You got it.
291
00:11:14,876 --> 00:11:17,644
[Applause] Yeah, Jim!
292
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,288
- Stop.
- Come back.
293
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:29,956
- Too late.
- Mm.
294
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:33,593
All: ♪ Shabooya roll call,
shabooya-ya-ya ♪
295
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:34,961
♪ shabooya roll call ♪
296
00:11:34,963 --> 00:11:36,095
- ♪ My name is Pam ♪
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
297
00:11:36,097 --> 00:11:37,597
♪ I like to paint ♪
298
00:11:37,599 --> 00:11:39,365
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ You think you're better? ♪
299
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,800
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Oh, no, you ain't ♪
300
00:11:40,802 --> 00:11:41,901
All: ♪ Roll call ♪
301
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:43,636
♪ Shabooya-ya-ya ♪
302
00:11:43,638 --> 00:11:47,006
♪ shabooya roll call,
shabooya-ya-ya ♪
303
00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:48,374
♪ shabooya roll call ♪
304
00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:49,842
- ♪ My name is Kevin ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
305
00:11:49,844 --> 00:11:51,878
- ♪ That is my name ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
306
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,580
- ♪ They call me Kevin ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
307
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,782
- ♪ 'Cause that's my name ♪
All: - ♪ Roll call ♪
308
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:59,218
♪ shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ♪
309
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,522
♪ shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ♪
310
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,432
Thanks.
311
00:12:12,434 --> 00:12:16,135
Playing a little hooky
from work today.
312
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:17,637
[Sighs]
313
00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:20,640
Oh, my God.
314
00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:24,143
Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012!
315
00:12:24,145 --> 00:12:27,680
Okay, now a serious one.
316
00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:29,549
Hey, where's Dwight?
He should be a part of this.
317
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,953
Has he been acting
kind of weird to you lately?
318
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:36,623
If by "lately," you mean
for the last 12 years, yeah.
319
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,491
No, I mean, he's sulking.
That's not like him.
320
00:12:38,493 --> 00:12:40,126
He's just mad
that we're all having fun.
321
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:43,062
Then why isn't he scheming
or preparing to avenge?
322
00:12:44,632 --> 00:12:47,567
He's fine.
He's indestructible.
323
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,871
Always say that a child
is placed for adoption,
324
00:12:51,873 --> 00:12:54,140
never surrendered.
325
00:12:54,142 --> 00:12:55,775
We're not hostages.
326
00:12:55,777 --> 00:12:58,811
[Chuckles] Although I have
considered kidnapping one.
327
00:12:58,813 --> 00:13:02,849
Oh, and never say that.
328
00:13:02,851 --> 00:13:05,718
I am so excited
thinking about this child
329
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,053
you're going to adopt.
330
00:13:07,055 --> 00:13:08,688
I wish I could just wave
a magic wand
331
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:11,157
and make you a parentless
five-year-old again.
332
00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:13,159
I would snap you up.
333
00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:15,695
Oh.
334
00:13:15,697 --> 00:13:17,697
Next stop, pies.
335
00:13:17,699 --> 00:13:19,165
[Chants] Next stop, pies!
336
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:22,702
All: [Chanting] Next stop, pies,
next stop, pies!
337
00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:24,570
Let's go, driver!
338
00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:27,940
Laverne packs up the pie wagon
at 5:00, so--
339
00:13:27,942 --> 00:13:30,510
At 5:00?
That's only 20 minutes from now.
340
00:13:30,512 --> 00:13:33,680
The pie shop is 13 miles away.
341
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,915
So at 55 miles an hour,
342
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,418
that just gives us
5 minutes to spare.
343
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:40,453
So, wait,
when pies are involved,
344
00:13:40,455 --> 00:13:43,756
you can suddenly do math
in your head?
345
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:47,760
Hold on, Kevin,
how much is 19,154 pies
346
00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:50,296
divided by 61 pies?
347
00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:54,067
314 pies.
348
00:13:54,069 --> 00:13:56,102
What if it were salads?
349
00:13:56,104 --> 00:13:59,338
Well, it's the--
350
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:04,243
carry the four and the--
it doesn't work.
351
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:06,713
I'm sorry to spoil Jim's
fantastic voyage, everyone,
352
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,081
but we're almost out of gas.
353
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:10,083
Okay, well, I saw a station
about a mile back,
354
00:14:10,085 --> 00:14:11,417
so chop, chop.
355
00:14:11,419 --> 00:14:13,853
That name brand place?
No, forget about it, sorry.
356
00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:17,056
The tanks are so big on
this thing, 5¢ a gallon extra?
357
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:18,057
It really adds up.
358
00:14:18,059 --> 00:14:19,425
Are you kidding me?
359
00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:21,094
- Dwight, come on.
- Hey.
360
00:14:21,096 --> 00:14:22,361
Honey, I don't think
we should push him.
361
00:14:22,363 --> 00:14:23,563
Oh, no, I'm going to push him.
362
00:14:23,565 --> 00:14:25,598
You know why?
Because you are getting a pie.
363
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,166
Why?
'Cause you deserve it.
364
00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:28,501
And what is he doing?
365
00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:29,902
He's trying to drive us all
around the countryside,
366
00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:32,105
looking for gas because he
knows we won't get there.
367
00:14:32,107 --> 00:14:33,206
Is that what we want?
368
00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:34,507
All: No!
369
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:36,242
Stop ordering me around, Jim!
370
00:14:36,244 --> 00:14:38,144
- What do we want?
All: - Pies!
371
00:14:38,146 --> 00:14:39,145
When do we want it?
372
00:14:39,147 --> 00:14:42,381
All: - Pies.
- Okay, fine.
373
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,719
You win, Jim.
You win.
374
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:47,720
We have been battling
for a long time,
375
00:14:47,722 --> 00:14:49,255
but, you know what, you win.
376
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:50,890
'Cause you are the winner,
you are the alpha male.
377
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:52,058
There you go.
378
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,559
Alpha male,
go buy your wife a pie.
379
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,061
Go buy the whole world a pie.
380
00:14:55,063 --> 00:14:58,197
That's impossible.
381
00:14:58,199 --> 00:14:59,499
- Oh, no!
- Dwight!
382
00:14:59,501 --> 00:15:00,566
- What are you doing?
- Dwight!
383
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,934
- What the hell?
- Whoa, Dwight.
384
00:15:01,936 --> 00:15:05,037
- Dwight.
- What?
385
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:08,674
Well, now I don't even
feel like pie.
386
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:10,676
Wait.
387
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:11,978
No, it's back.
388
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,517
Just drive away.
389
00:15:17,753 --> 00:15:19,187
Phyllis, that's not safe.
390
00:15:19,189 --> 00:15:21,489
Guys, we only have
18 minutes left.
391
00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:24,659
At 61 miles an hour, we're just
going to barely make it.
392
00:15:24,661 --> 00:15:26,628
Go up and check on him,
he's upset.
393
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:28,196
You know
he's doing all this on purpose.
394
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:29,864
Please, just make sure
he's okay.
395
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:31,933
[Sighs]
396
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,134
Hurry it up, for God's sake.
397
00:15:33,136 --> 00:15:34,769
They're going to be
out of banana cream.
398
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:36,037
Banana cream's the first to go.
399
00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:37,205
We'd be lucky to get pumpkin
at this point.
400
00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:38,206
[Gasps]
401
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:39,541
What?
402
00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:42,043
Dwight?
403
00:15:42,045 --> 00:15:43,878
Why are you such a jerk?
404
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,748
I'm trying to do something
for my wife, and you keep--
405
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,883
- I'm barren, Jim.
406
00:15:48,885 --> 00:15:50,018
What?
407
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,254
My trouser hives
are void of honey.
408
00:15:52,256 --> 00:15:55,590
I had congress with Angela,
and the child that she bore
409
00:15:55,592 --> 00:15:57,559
did not issue from my loins.
410
00:15:57,561 --> 00:16:00,862
Thought I would be a father,
and instead I am a eunuch,
411
00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:04,599
neutered by my own building.
412
00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:07,636
Is this about the popcorn,
or the X on the ceiling?
413
00:16:07,638 --> 00:16:10,705
Dwight, that was a prank.
414
00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:12,340
You mean
you flooded my building
415
00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:14,976
with dangerous electromagnetic
radiation as a prank?
416
00:16:14,978 --> 00:16:16,478
- No.
- That's genius.
417
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,812
That's the best prank
you've ever done.
418
00:16:17,814 --> 00:16:19,414
I'll take it.
419
00:16:22,685 --> 00:16:23,685
Andy?
420
00:16:23,687 --> 00:16:25,787
Who is it?
421
00:16:25,789 --> 00:16:27,889
- Um, is this a good time?
- Yeah.
422
00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:31,226
Perfect time, right in
the middle of a rooftop crisis.
423
00:16:31,228 --> 00:16:33,728
Fine, yeah, let me read it.
What do we have here?
424
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:35,202
Okay--
425
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:40,101
You've made this very easy
for me.
426
00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:41,503
It's unsignable.
427
00:16:41,505 --> 00:16:44,539
Oh.
What, is there something--?
428
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:48,743
It's inaccurate, dishonest,
and, in a word, dong-water.
429
00:16:48,745 --> 00:16:51,046
Oh, well, perhaps
I could reword some of it--
430
00:16:51,048 --> 00:16:52,047
Here's the thing.
431
00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:53,581
You asked me to do you a favor,
432
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,550
I did it, I read it.
433
00:16:55,552 --> 00:16:59,054
Thank you very much to me
for my time.
434
00:16:59,056 --> 00:17:00,755
Good luck
with your impossible dream.
435
00:17:02,858 --> 00:17:04,292
All right, then.
436
00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:15,870
Dwight, sometimes
it takes couples
437
00:17:15,872 --> 00:17:17,172
years to get pregnant.
438
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:20,008
Really? How long did it take
you and Pam to conceive?
439
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:21,009
That doesn't matter.
440
00:17:21,011 --> 00:17:22,544
What position
did you use to conceive,
441
00:17:22,546 --> 00:17:24,079
regular
or lady-on-her-back?
442
00:17:24,081 --> 00:17:26,147
You used lady-on-her-back,
didn't you, freak?
443
00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:27,949
Yuck, gross.
Never mind, Jim.
444
00:17:27,951 --> 00:17:32,987
[Crying]
445
00:17:32,989 --> 00:17:38,727
[Sobbing]
446
00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,296
British women,
famously over-emotional,
447
00:17:41,298 --> 00:17:43,698
am I right?
448
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:45,500
I don't think that's Nellie.
449
00:17:45,502 --> 00:17:48,136
- What?
- Oh.
450
00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:50,605
Oh, no, no, no.
It's all right.
451
00:17:50,607 --> 00:17:53,174
Really, it isn't your fault.
452
00:17:53,176 --> 00:17:57,145
No, no. It's--
You were so kind,
453
00:17:57,147 --> 00:17:58,880
and it isn't anything
to do with you.
454
00:18:00,483 --> 00:18:03,151
Did you ever think that
because you own the building,
455
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:05,186
everyone in it,
456
00:18:05,188 --> 00:18:06,621
we're all kind of like
your children.
457
00:18:06,623 --> 00:18:09,691
You know, there's a phrase
about that in German,
458
00:18:09,693 --> 00:18:10,892
bilden-kinder,
459
00:18:10,894 --> 00:18:13,495
used almost exclusively
by childless landlords
460
00:18:13,497 --> 00:18:16,197
to console themselves, but now,
461
00:18:16,199 --> 00:18:18,666
I really understand it.
462
00:18:18,668 --> 00:18:23,171
Well, now you have a bus full
of real building-kinder.
463
00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:24,739
- Bilden-kinder.
- Okay.
464
00:18:24,741 --> 00:18:29,277
And they're all dangerously
close to not getting pie.
465
00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,713
And there's only one guy
who can save them.
466
00:18:31,715 --> 00:18:33,214
It's not me.
467
00:18:33,216 --> 00:18:34,749
- I agree.
- Oh!
468
00:18:34,751 --> 00:18:36,651
Oh.
469
00:18:36,653 --> 00:18:38,086
Hey, how did it go?
470
00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:39,187
- It was pretty good, actually.
- Yeah?
471
00:18:39,189 --> 00:18:40,755
We bonded,
we got to t--
472
00:18:40,757 --> 00:18:41,756
- Oh!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
473
00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:43,324
- Dwight, Dwight!
- Dwight!
474
00:18:43,326 --> 00:18:45,360
That's what happens when
you don't get out of the way.
475
00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:48,029
Out of the way!
476
00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:49,564
You feel okay now?
477
00:18:49,566 --> 00:18:50,665
Oh, better than okay.
478
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,066
And you know what, honey?
479
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:54,135
I'm going to get you
that rhubarb pie.
480
00:18:54,137 --> 00:18:55,537
Well, actually, rhubarb
481
00:18:55,539 --> 00:18:56,704
- is the one pie that I don't--
- Don't, don't.
482
00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:58,072
Everybody, hang on!
483
00:18:58,074 --> 00:18:59,374
[Turns engine on]
484
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:00,542
[All scream]
485
00:19:00,544 --> 00:19:03,478
[Tires screech]
486
00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:08,283
[All scream]
487
00:19:09,652 --> 00:19:12,687
All: Pie, pie, pie,
pie, pie, pie!
488
00:19:12,689 --> 00:19:16,958
[All cheering]
489
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:26,634
Oh.
490
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,269
I changed my mind.
491
00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:30,705
- Oh, you signed it?
- Yeah.
492
00:19:30,707 --> 00:19:33,741
Not as is, obviously.
493
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:34,776
Made a couple of changes,
494
00:19:34,778 --> 00:19:37,912
added some sentences
at the end.
495
00:19:37,914 --> 00:19:40,715
Trust me, it needed it.
496
00:19:40,717 --> 00:19:44,586
But, yeah, whatever.
497
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,626
"She's tough in business,
but tender
498
00:19:51,628 --> 00:19:53,127
with the people
she cares about.
499
00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:55,597
She'll make a wonderful mother
to any child
500
00:19:55,599 --> 00:19:57,999
who can overlook
weird accents."
501
00:20:02,371 --> 00:20:06,441
- I insult you, Oscar.
- What?
502
00:20:06,443 --> 00:20:09,611
I insult you to your face.
503
00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:11,646
I don't know
what you're talking about.
504
00:20:11,648 --> 00:20:14,549
Then why don't you
do something about it?
505
00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:16,851
Kevin, are you trying
to get me to hit you
506
00:20:16,853 --> 00:20:17,952
in the face with my pie?
507
00:20:17,954 --> 00:20:20,388
You don't have the guts.
508
00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:25,426
You stupid, dumb,
doo-doo face.
509
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,302
Yes!
510
00:20:34,304 --> 00:20:37,539
Oh, my God.
I'm getting so stuffed.
511
00:20:41,744 --> 00:20:43,645
We did it.
512
00:20:43,647 --> 00:20:45,813
You did it.
513
00:20:59,183 --> 00:21:00,550
- ♪ My name is Andy ♪
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
514
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:02,519
- ♪ I don't do drugs ♪
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
515
00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:04,788
- ♪ Now, check the style ♪
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
516
00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:06,990
- ♪ Of flatt and scruggs ♪
All: - ♪ Yeah ♪
517
00:21:06,992 --> 00:21:09,993
[Banjo music playing]
518
00:21:09,995 --> 00:21:18,035
♪
519
00:21:20,838 --> 00:21:21,838
All: [Murmuring]
Roll call.
520
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,873
Roll call.
521
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:24,441
Roll call.
522
00:21:24,443 --> 00:21:25,509
Roll call.
523
00:21:25,511 --> 00:21:27,317
What?
524
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,000
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com