1
00:00:00,573 --> 00:00:02,736
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2
00:00:03,914 --> 00:00:06,320
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no...
3
00:00:07,657 --> 00:00:09,214
- No!
- Okay, fine.
4
00:00:09,887 --> 00:00:11,011
Ryan.
5
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,771
Is something the matter?
6
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,072
Smokey's dead.
7
00:00:15,106 --> 00:00:17,574
Smokey... the bear?
8
00:00:17,608 --> 00:00:19,243
Smokey Robinson, Pam.
9
00:00:19,277 --> 00:00:22,112
He died, like, an hour ago.
I guess I'm the first to know.
10
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:24,882
Wow, that's terrible.
I really liked him.
11
00:00:24,916 --> 00:00:26,867
Oh, you liked him?
That's nice.
12
00:00:26,918 --> 00:00:29,253
Did you "like" when he changed
the course of American music
13
00:00:29,287 --> 00:00:30,337
like, two or three times?
14
00:00:30,371 --> 00:00:32,322
Did you "like"
that Tracks Of My Tears
15
00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:34,842
is maybe the last true love song
ever written?
16
00:00:34,876 --> 00:00:36,376
I'm glad you like him, Jim.
17
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,595
I am completely devastated
right now.
18
00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:41,014
Well, I second that emotion.
19
00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:42,883
- Huh?
- I know a few of his songs,
20
00:00:42,934 --> 00:00:44,167
but what were his big ones?
21
00:00:44,185 --> 00:00:46,336
Oh, God, Nellie,
what wasn't his?
22
00:00:46,354 --> 00:00:48,388
I mean, um,
Tracks Of My Tears...
23
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,808
- Yeah.
- Um, God, so many.
24
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,559
No, no, no.
25
00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,561
Tracks Of My Tears
and what else?
26
00:00:54,612 --> 00:00:57,781
What are some more?
What's one more?
27
00:00:57,816 --> 00:01:00,651
Okay, I'm not--
I'm not playing this game, Pam.
28
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,819
Not today.
29
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,487
I don't think
you love Smokey Robinson,
30
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,955
I think you're
just doing all of this
31
00:01:04,989 --> 00:01:06,740
to prove how deep you are
about music.
32
00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:09,409
Okay, I'm sorry
that I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz
33
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,527
or The Beatles.
34
00:01:10,545 --> 00:01:11,745
You don't like The Beatles?
35
00:01:11,796 --> 00:01:13,080
That's--
That's not the point.
36
00:01:13,131 --> 00:01:14,715
Eleanor Rigby?
Paperback Writer?
37
00:01:14,749 --> 00:01:15,916
Well, you know,
you always think you have time
38
00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:17,501
to see these legends
before they go.
39
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,802
What was I so busy doing?
40
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,921
It says here
the "Smokey Robinson dead" thing
41
00:01:20,972 --> 00:01:22,139
is a hoax.
42
00:01:22,173 --> 00:01:24,591
It's on CNN
as of two minutes ago.
43
00:01:24,642 --> 00:01:28,061
Okay, well, that's a relief.
44
00:01:28,096 --> 00:01:29,263
Wow, look at that.
45
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:31,265
Says he's actually
playing State College.
46
00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:32,683
It's only three hours away.
47
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:36,069
Oh, my God, Ryan,
that's perfect!
48
00:01:36,104 --> 00:01:37,220
You have to go.
49
00:01:37,238 --> 00:01:38,889
Tickets are 250 bucks.
50
00:01:38,907 --> 00:01:41,024
$250 is nothing
51
00:01:41,058 --> 00:01:44,528
to the world's biggest
Smokey Robinson fan.
52
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,496
Yeah.
53
00:01:46,531 --> 00:01:47,915
Who's opening?
54
00:01:47,949 --> 00:01:50,834
- Paul Anka.
- Paul Anka?
55
00:01:50,869 --> 00:01:53,737
How can they make the smoke man
play with someone like that?
56
00:01:53,755 --> 00:01:55,622
I don't think I can see this.
57
00:01:55,673 --> 00:01:57,124
Okay, you could just
show up late, though.
58
00:01:57,175 --> 00:01:58,592
How much is parking?
Like 30 bucks?
59
00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:01,378
That's not what Smokey
would've wanted-- Does want.
60
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,046
Tears of a clown.
61
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,581
Don't call me a clown, Pam.
62
00:02:04,599 --> 00:02:07,601
You're better than that.
63
00:02:14,325 --> 00:02:19,799
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
64
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,099
Looking good, RC.
65
00:02:23,117 --> 00:02:24,985
Ugh, I hate ties.
66
00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:26,536
I feel like
I'm being strangled,
67
00:02:26,571 --> 00:02:29,539
like I'm at some
erotic asphyxiation sex club,
68
00:02:29,574 --> 00:02:33,043
over on I-84-- The red room, say?
Or Dominic's?
69
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:36,046
Robert, the Senator was gonna
wear dark brown tonight.
70
00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:39,383
I'm sure it'll be fine.
71
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:42,002
My husband is sponsoring
a fundraiser tonight
72
00:02:42,053 --> 00:02:43,620
for local dog shelters.
73
00:02:43,638 --> 00:02:46,807
Robert California bought
two tables for everyone here.
74
00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:48,475
These people were lucky
to get seats,
75
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:50,126
because it is gonna be
a who's who
76
00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,963
of the northern 22nd district.
77
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,017
I don't want to alarm people,
but there is a distinct chance
78
00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:58,802
that we're all
about to be killed.
79
00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,404
Well, as long as
you don't want to alarm people.
80
00:03:00,438 --> 00:03:02,138
- What's going on?
- There is a disgruntled
81
00:03:02,156 --> 00:03:04,942
ex-employee sitting in his car
in the parking lot.
82
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,610
Oh, that's Andy.
He's just hanging out.
83
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,829
Yeah, that's how workplace
tragedies always begin.
84
00:03:08,863 --> 00:03:11,448
A middle-aged white male
"hanging out."
85
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,749
Call the cops.
86
00:03:12,783 --> 00:03:14,134
Dwight, I don't think
he's gonna hurt anybody.
87
00:03:14,168 --> 00:03:15,252
How do you know?
88
00:03:15,286 --> 00:03:16,586
I mean,
why do you think he's there?
89
00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:18,221
I don't even know
what kind of weapon he has.
90
00:03:18,256 --> 00:03:20,007
Could be a knife,
could be a gun,
91
00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:22,643
could be a series of guns
all lined up to shoot parallel.
92
00:03:22,677 --> 00:03:24,227
I'm going up to the roof,
93
00:03:24,262 --> 00:03:27,564
and I'm gonna...
Bring my gym bag, just in case.
94
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,066
I knew this would happen.
95
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:33,136
Everybody told me if I moved
to America, I'd be murdered.
96
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:41,144
- Hey.
- Hey.
97
00:03:41,162 --> 00:03:42,979
Just wanted to say hi,
98
00:03:42,997 --> 00:03:44,581
and hear you say,
"everything's normal."
99
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,033
Maybe videotape
you saying that,
100
00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:48,452
so that everyone upstairs
can see.
101
00:03:48,486 --> 00:03:50,253
We think you might kill Robert.
102
00:03:50,288 --> 00:03:51,371
What?
103
00:03:51,422 --> 00:03:52,789
Because he fired you,
104
00:03:52,823 --> 00:03:55,492
which means apparently
you're living in your car now.
105
00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:57,127
Guys, everything is fine.
106
00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:59,296
I'm just here to pick up Erin.
We're going to the fundraiser.
107
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,830
- Oh, great.
- Oh, great, that sounds good.
108
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:02,015
Wait, what?
109
00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,934
You're going
to the fundraiser tonight?
110
00:04:03,968 --> 00:04:05,168
That's gonna be weird.
111
00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:06,720
Why would that be weird?
112
00:04:06,771 --> 00:04:10,006
It's gonna be super-weird.
He just fired you last week.
113
00:04:10,024 --> 00:04:12,225
Andy's just coming as my date.
114
00:04:12,276 --> 00:04:14,277
Hey, I hear you.
I hope you're right.
115
00:04:14,312 --> 00:04:17,564
It just seems like
it's gonna be really...
116
00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:19,066
- Really weird.
- Okay.
117
00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:22,285
Come in.
118
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,821
You really redid
Andy's office, huh?
119
00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:28,909
Yes, cut out the clutter.
Very simple, very minimal.
120
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,411
Need you to sign these.
We got a shipment going out.
121
00:04:31,462 --> 00:04:34,081
How are things
in the warehouse?
122
00:04:34,132 --> 00:04:35,816
You could go downstairs
and ask 'em.
123
00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:39,302
The warehouse isn't downstairs.
124
00:04:40,371 --> 00:04:42,222
Is it?
125
00:04:42,256 --> 00:04:43,223
Is it.
126
00:04:43,257 --> 00:04:45,976
Who knew, right?
127
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,512
Ah.
128
00:04:48,546 --> 00:04:51,264
Tonight could be the night
that Darryl and I
129
00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:56,052
go from casual work friends
to actual good friends.
130
00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,604
The only thing
standing in our way
131
00:04:57,655 --> 00:05:01,875
is the contempt
he seems to feel for me.
132
00:05:03,911 --> 00:05:06,363
Robert, the Senator and I
wanted to stop by.
133
00:05:06,397 --> 00:05:07,364
- Hey, Robert.
- Robert, how are you?
134
00:05:07,398 --> 00:05:09,116
- Say hello.
- Hello.
135
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:11,084
Did anyone
order a blast from the past
136
00:05:11,119 --> 00:05:12,285
with a side order of sexy?
137
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,455
- Hi, Andy.
- Oh, man, this is weird.
138
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:17,457
- Andrew.
- Oh, uh,
139
00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:20,410
want to shake my hand, huh?
140
00:05:20,428 --> 00:05:21,795
'Cause I want to shake
your body!
141
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:26,883
I had you.
I had you!
142
00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:28,468
Wh-- Wha--
Where do I look?
143
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:31,254
It's been so long
since I did one of these things.
144
00:05:31,272 --> 00:05:33,423
Okay, all right, how--
Uh, what's the question?
145
00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:34,524
How am I doing?
146
00:05:34,559 --> 00:05:38,361
Um, great.
147
00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:43,150
Creed, I just bid $20
on six jiujitsu lessons.
148
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:44,767
No one's raping this guy.
149
00:05:44,786 --> 00:05:46,269
Oh, I don't want to get raped.
150
00:05:46,287 --> 00:05:47,320
22.
151
00:05:47,371 --> 00:05:48,905
No, it was my idea
to not be raped.
152
00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:50,407
- Well, well...
- What, you think
153
00:05:50,441 --> 00:05:52,793
jiujitsu classes cost $22?
154
00:05:52,827 --> 00:05:54,077
If you're gonna play
"guess the price,"
155
00:05:54,111 --> 00:05:55,829
you might as well try
to be halfway accurate.
156
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,464
$180.
157
00:05:57,498 --> 00:06:00,050
Oh. Dwight, I don't think
you understand--
158
00:06:00,084 --> 00:06:02,552
You guess the price,
you win the prize.
159
00:06:02,587 --> 00:06:05,806
Have you never
been to a quaker fair before?
160
00:06:06,891 --> 00:06:08,291
Gah.
161
00:06:08,309 --> 00:06:13,346
So Dwight doesn't understand
silent auctions.
162
00:06:13,397 --> 00:06:16,766
I guess he's the stupid guy
in the office, huh?
163
00:06:18,069 --> 00:06:21,271
'Cause up till now,
we didn't have one.
164
00:06:21,305 --> 00:06:22,489
What haven't I been doing?
165
00:06:22,523 --> 00:06:24,691
Gosh, just today,
I was working on this rock opera
166
00:06:24,742 --> 00:06:25,859
that I'm writing,
although it feels more
167
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:27,911
like I'm receiving it
than writing it.
168
00:06:27,945 --> 00:06:30,780
Wow.
Yeah, that's exciting.
169
00:06:30,814 --> 00:06:32,199
But until you firm up the idea,
170
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,483
you might want to keep it
between us.
171
00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:36,152
The hero lives
in this dystopian future,
172
00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:38,255
and he flies around
in a spaceship
173
00:06:38,289 --> 00:06:40,423
that's shaped
like a-- a treble clef,
174
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:43,159
and he has to sing his heart out
to destroy all evil.
175
00:06:43,177 --> 00:06:44,961
Sounds like
you're doing all right.
176
00:06:44,995 --> 00:06:47,130
Uh, a little better
than all right, actually.
177
00:06:48,266 --> 00:06:49,916
Really good.
178
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,135
Oh, this guy's
having a breakdown.
179
00:06:52,169 --> 00:06:54,271
You know, Oscar,
I really had no idea
180
00:06:54,305 --> 00:06:55,672
that you were so passionate
about animals.
181
00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,023
My dog Gerald is my life.
182
00:06:57,058 --> 00:06:59,276
Really? Well, if you want
to get involved, call me.
183
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,278
This is my cell.
184
00:07:01,312 --> 00:07:04,731
I'm more likely to pick up
at night,
185
00:07:04,782 --> 00:07:07,651
say, um, after 9:00.
186
00:07:09,537 --> 00:07:11,905
Excuse me.
187
00:07:11,956 --> 00:07:13,073
This confirms three things,
188
00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:14,658
I'm right about the Senator,
189
00:07:14,692 --> 00:07:16,159
I still got it,
190
00:07:16,193 --> 00:07:17,527
and poor Angela.
191
00:07:17,545 --> 00:07:19,746
Step in right away,
and start--
192
00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:21,798
Bobby? Bob-o?
193
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,000
You're a rock opera guy, right?
You like rock operas.
194
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:25,368
- Well--
- You got to check out
195
00:07:25,386 --> 00:07:27,137
this thing I'm working on.
It's really cool.
196
00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,889
There's this character,
Thomas Oregon,
197
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,925
and he wants to destroy
all the guitars in the world,
198
00:07:31,976 --> 00:07:36,096
because he realizes
that music is the one thing
199
00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:37,981
he can't control.
200
00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:41,151
Huh, so Thomas Oregon
is an evil figure?
201
00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:43,603
Evil.
202
00:07:43,654 --> 00:07:45,322
Although
he's humanized at the end,
203
00:07:45,356 --> 00:07:48,775
because he weeps uncontrollably
and pees in his pants.
204
00:07:48,826 --> 00:07:51,361
And the hero,
who is that based on?
205
00:07:51,395 --> 00:07:54,197
Me, I guess.
206
00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:57,450
♪ We're flying so high
we're cracking the sky ♪
207
00:07:57,501 --> 00:08:01,371
♪ gonna fly out of this storm,
my girlfriend and I ♪
208
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:07,043
Hey, jabroni, show come class.
209
00:08:07,077 --> 00:08:09,179
She's right, Andy,
you're being a jabroni.
210
00:08:09,213 --> 00:08:10,630
You're being a Thomas Oregon.
211
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:14,467
Uh, Andrew...
212
00:08:14,518 --> 00:08:17,354
I think this may have been
a bad idea.
213
00:08:17,388 --> 00:08:20,423
Why don't you let me pay
for you and Erin to go out
214
00:08:20,441 --> 00:08:23,193
to a great,
romantic dinner tonight?
215
00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:26,062
Don't need you to pay for me.
I'm doing just fine, thank you.
216
00:08:26,096 --> 00:08:29,232
Why don't you
quit harshing our mellow?
217
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:31,534
Andy, you should leave.
218
00:08:31,569 --> 00:08:34,437
Now.
219
00:08:34,455 --> 00:08:35,905
Excuse me,
220
00:08:35,939 --> 00:08:37,290
I would like to purchase
two seats
221
00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:39,442
at another table, please.
222
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,578
Oh, I'm sorry, the tables
are sold as complete units.
223
00:08:41,612 --> 00:08:43,913
Then I'll take a table.
224
00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:44,914
Okay.
225
00:08:44,948 --> 00:08:47,000
And a high five.
226
00:08:47,051 --> 00:08:48,618
Let's do that again.
227
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,800
Yes, indeed.
228
00:08:54,891 --> 00:08:57,593
When.
229
00:08:57,627 --> 00:08:59,679
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
230
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:02,398
Forgot a few salads.
231
00:09:04,851 --> 00:09:06,269
When.
232
00:09:06,303 --> 00:09:11,307
I stumbled into
a very dramatic situation.
233
00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:14,410
Angela's husband
just hit on me.
234
00:09:14,444 --> 00:09:15,945
- Oh, my God.
- I know!
235
00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:17,280
Wait, what?
Come on.
236
00:09:17,314 --> 00:09:20,649
We were talking about animals.
237
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,418
He gives me
his cell phone number.
238
00:09:22,452 --> 00:09:23,819
He was just dying
for me to have it.
239
00:09:23,837 --> 00:09:26,289
Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying
you're not dreamy,
240
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,291
because you are,
but isn't it possible
241
00:09:28,325 --> 00:09:30,126
that he was just
schmoozing a voter?
242
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,995
Well, if you would have seen
the look he gave me,
243
00:09:33,013 --> 00:09:34,764
he wanted to rock
more than just my vote.
244
00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:37,266
Okay.
What was this look?
245
00:09:39,669 --> 00:09:41,053
Whoa.
246
00:09:41,104 --> 00:09:42,271
- What happened? Did he do it?
- Are you--?
247
00:09:42,306 --> 00:09:43,639
- I--
- Twice.
248
00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:45,057
For real?
249
00:09:45,108 --> 00:09:47,109
Okay, guys, not every glance
means something, all right?
250
00:09:47,144 --> 00:09:49,445
- Life isn't Downton Abbey.
- Life is Downton Abbey.
251
00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:50,730
Here's what I'm gonna do.
252
00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,114
I'm gonna go over there,
I'm gonna talk to him,
253
00:09:52,149 --> 00:09:53,816
and I guarantee you,
he gives out his cell phone
254
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,234
to everybody.
255
00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:09,031
How much do you guys charge for
a one full-year gym membership?
256
00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:13,035
Thank you.
257
00:10:13,053 --> 00:10:15,888
It's $475.
258
00:10:15,922 --> 00:10:19,225
Like candy from a baby.
259
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,548
Hey.
260
00:10:26,566 --> 00:10:28,818
- David Wallace?
- Andy Bernard?
261
00:10:28,852 --> 00:10:30,102
- Hey, how are you?
- How you doin'?
262
00:10:30,153 --> 00:10:31,220
I'm great.
How you doin'?
263
00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,388
Are you still
with Dunder Mifflin?
264
00:10:32,406 --> 00:10:34,106
No, got canned last week.
265
00:10:34,157 --> 00:10:35,858
Oh. Well,
I'm sorry to hear that.
266
00:10:35,892 --> 00:10:37,393
No, best thing
that ever happened to me.
267
00:10:37,411 --> 00:10:38,577
That's the attitude to have.
268
00:10:38,612 --> 00:10:39,912
You know what?
When I got canned,
269
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,164
I was lost, right?
I poured myself
270
00:10:42,199 --> 00:10:45,234
into this ridiculous vacuum
for toys called Suck It.
271
00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:47,569
- Yikes.
- Yeah, exactly, right?
272
00:10:47,587 --> 00:10:49,171
Then suddenly, out of nowhere,
the US military
273
00:10:49,206 --> 00:10:53,209
bought the patent from me
for $20 million.
274
00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:54,877
Point is, forget those guys.
275
00:10:54,911 --> 00:10:56,045
Okay?
Move on.
276
00:10:57,247 --> 00:10:58,580
Good to see you, Andy.
277
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:06,939
Call me a layman, but I wish
there was some real food here.
278
00:11:06,973 --> 00:11:09,475
You know, like, um, hamburgers,
279
00:11:09,526 --> 00:11:12,645
or...
Um, Oreos,
280
00:11:12,696 --> 00:11:15,781
or a pizza pie, or, um...
281
00:11:15,816 --> 00:11:17,433
What's another food
that we like?
282
00:11:17,451 --> 00:11:18,701
Tacos.
283
00:11:18,735 --> 00:11:21,287
What I wouldn't give
for a big...
284
00:11:21,321 --> 00:11:25,074
- Mess of tacos right now.
- Tacos.
285
00:11:25,108 --> 00:11:26,775
I can go get us some tacos.
286
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:27,943
Brilliant.
287
00:11:27,961 --> 00:11:29,428
If you loan me some money.
288
00:11:29,463 --> 00:11:32,548
Yes, I can do that.
289
00:11:32,582 --> 00:11:37,503
For, um, for two tacos,
we probably need about,
290
00:11:37,554 --> 00:11:41,424
what twen-- $20, or...
$25? 20--
291
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:43,592
- 30.
- $30, yes.
292
00:11:43,626 --> 00:11:45,060
- 30.
- Yeah, um...
293
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,595
I've never eaten a taco.
294
00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:48,764
I'm not entirely sure
what they are.
295
00:11:48,798 --> 00:11:50,349
As long as they're not slimey,
296
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,569
and please, God,
don't let them have eyes.
297
00:11:54,571 --> 00:11:56,572
Thank you very much.
298
00:11:57,741 --> 00:12:01,527
- So?
- Boom.
299
00:12:01,578 --> 00:12:02,862
This is interesting.
300
00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:05,281
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- What is interesting?
301
00:12:05,315 --> 00:12:07,366
I just proved that he gives
his cell out to everybody.
302
00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:08,817
Or,
303
00:12:08,835 --> 00:12:10,503
you proved
that he thinks your gay.
304
00:12:10,537 --> 00:12:11,921
He doesn't think Jim is gay.
305
00:12:11,955 --> 00:12:13,756
A gay man would not leave
the house wearing those shoes.
306
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,508
Well, a gay man wouldn't leave
the store wearing those shoes.
307
00:12:15,542 --> 00:12:16,625
Oh.
308
00:12:16,659 --> 00:12:17,710
Hey, you bought me these shoes.
309
00:12:19,045 --> 00:12:20,880
Before we bring out
our guest of honor tonight,
310
00:12:20,931 --> 00:12:24,850
we are very proud to introduce
a great philanthropist
311
00:12:24,885 --> 00:12:29,104
and a great guy--
Robert California.
312
00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:35,227
Thank you.
313
00:12:35,278 --> 00:12:37,446
Why do we love dogs?
314
00:12:37,481 --> 00:12:40,115
Want me to tell you why?
315
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,650
There is no answer.
316
00:12:41,684 --> 00:12:45,854
Our love for them
confounds reason.
317
00:12:45,872 --> 00:12:47,239
Can you believe this guy?
318
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:50,192
State Senator
Robert Lipton loves dogs.
319
00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:53,996
He asked me if I love dogs.
320
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,697
You know what I said?
321
00:12:55,715 --> 00:12:56,799
Yes.
322
00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:00,920
Not a joke. That w--
That was not even a joke.
323
00:13:00,971 --> 00:13:04,306
Bella here was a therapy dog
for ten years.
324
00:13:04,341 --> 00:13:07,976
When her owner passed away,
she came to this organization
325
00:13:08,089 --> 00:13:12,833
for replacement but people don't
often adopt adult dogs.
326
00:13:12,983 --> 00:13:19,572
So Bella and 11 heroes like her
are being cared for
327
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,941
by our generous volunteers,
328
00:13:21,992 --> 00:13:25,411
because frankly,
nobody else will.
329
00:13:25,445 --> 00:13:27,162
I will.
330
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:30,449
I will take all of those dogs.
331
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,785
- Andy, that's very kind, but--
- No, no, no, no, no.
332
00:13:32,836 --> 00:13:36,505
This guy can talk and talk
all he wants,
333
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,457
- but it's not that complicated.
- Andy,
334
00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:39,675
- why don't we discuss this--
- No, no, no, no.
335
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:42,344
It's about being there
for someone
336
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:45,297
after it's become inconvenient
for them to be around.
337
00:13:45,348 --> 00:13:47,416
Hello, everyone,
I'm Andy Bernard,
338
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:51,554
and I am going to
take that bitch home.
339
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:56,275
That is a female dog reference.
340
00:13:56,309 --> 00:13:58,811
"This bitch
understands loyalty."
341
00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:00,362
Sassy human reference.
342
00:14:00,397 --> 00:14:02,698
Thank you.
I will take Bella.
343
00:14:02,732 --> 00:14:04,567
- Take--
- Aw.
344
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,819
And every single one
of her friends.
345
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:09,938
Oh, God.
346
00:14:09,956 --> 00:14:12,074
Mr. Bernard?
Please, this way, okay?
347
00:14:12,108 --> 00:14:13,942
Hope you all learned something.
348
00:14:16,835 --> 00:14:19,419
Kenny's gonna need this medication
once every 90 minutes.
349
00:14:19,437 --> 00:14:21,388
You can administer it orally,
but he's gonna puke it up,
350
00:14:21,422 --> 00:14:23,089
so other end's best.
351
00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:26,426
Don't split up Daisy and Mojo,
because Daisy'll start to, uh,
352
00:14:26,444 --> 00:14:29,195
I was gonna say "bark,"
but it's more of a scream.
353
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:32,148
I'm so ready to love
all of these animals.
354
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:34,767
This one's even
bonding with me already.
355
00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:36,602
I know, Kenny's a therapy dog.
356
00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:41,491
He apparently thinks your in
some kind of emotional crisis.
357
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:43,076
Stupid dog.
358
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,545
Well, if you would like
to talk about this some more,
359
00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:48,331
my door is always open,
so here is my office number
360
00:14:48,382 --> 00:14:50,250
- and my cell number.
- Thank you.
361
00:14:50,284 --> 00:14:51,718
Okay.
362
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:53,086
Well, looks like he really did
363
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,421
just want to talk
about the issues.
364
00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:55,621
I'm sorry, Oscar.
365
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,673
Oh, sorry about what?
366
00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:58,624
There's nothing
to be sorry about here.
367
00:14:58,643 --> 00:15:00,593
No, I'm certainly
not disappointed
368
00:15:00,627 --> 00:15:03,229
that Angela's husband
wasn't hitting on me.
369
00:15:03,264 --> 00:15:05,932
I'd have to be a monster
to root for that.
370
00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:09,736
A lonely, aging monster.
371
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:11,471
Tacos were on sale.
372
00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:14,140
Eight for $3.
373
00:15:14,158 --> 00:15:17,243
Oh, great.
374
00:15:17,278 --> 00:15:19,446
Okay. Oh.
375
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,083
- Oh. Oh-- Oh, these tacos. Right.
- Mm-hmm.
376
00:15:23,117 --> 00:15:24,951
Mmm.
377
00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:27,987
Uh, okay.
378
00:15:33,544 --> 00:15:36,662
Mmm. Mmm.
379
00:15:36,681 --> 00:15:41,167
Oh, huh. Mmm.
380
00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:43,836
She's trying.
381
00:15:43,854 --> 00:15:46,272
The winner of
the three-day trip
382
00:15:46,307 --> 00:15:49,609
to the top of the Skytop Lodge
is Dwight Shrute.
383
00:15:49,643 --> 00:15:53,313
Yes!
384
00:15:53,347 --> 00:15:54,948
Thank you.
385
00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:59,786
The year-long membership
to Scranton Bikram Yoga is...
386
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:00,904
Dwight Shrute.
387
00:16:00,955 --> 00:16:02,205
Oh, yes!
388
00:16:02,239 --> 00:16:05,408
Yeah!
389
00:16:05,459 --> 00:16:08,912
A one-hour appointment
with The Kissing Magician
390
00:16:08,963 --> 00:16:11,414
goes to Dwight Shrute.
391
00:16:11,465 --> 00:16:14,801
Oh, ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho, oh, yeah!
392
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:16,369
Well,
393
00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:19,139
I think I can
save us all some time.
394
00:16:19,173 --> 00:16:23,042
Uh, Dwight Shrute has won
every single item here.
395
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:24,761
Thank you very much!
396
00:16:24,812 --> 00:16:27,880
All I had to do
was look up the prices, idiots!
397
00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:30,216
- Suck it!
- Well, Dwight, yes,
398
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:32,485
you certainly are
a record-breaker.
399
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,187
Your donation
400
00:16:34,221 --> 00:16:36,272
is the largest
we've ever received,
401
00:16:36,323 --> 00:16:39,859
at over $34,000.
402
00:16:46,417 --> 00:16:48,284
Speech!
403
00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:49,619
Speech.
404
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:50,736
No, speech.
405
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:51,871
Speech.
406
00:17:04,935 --> 00:17:06,603
Thank you.
407
00:17:06,637 --> 00:17:10,923
Wow, I can't tell you...
408
00:17:10,941 --> 00:17:13,810
What an honor it is
409
00:17:13,861 --> 00:17:17,697
to support this... thing.
410
00:17:17,731 --> 00:17:19,315
And obviously,
that amount of money
411
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:22,368
is no concern to me whatsoever.
412
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:27,540
But I want to ask you
something.
413
00:17:27,575 --> 00:17:31,995
When did it become
all about the money?
414
00:17:32,046 --> 00:17:37,116
When did it become about
the flower arrangements,
415
00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:40,253
and the white wine spritzers,
hmm?
416
00:17:40,287 --> 00:17:42,505
And all the dinner rolls.
417
00:17:42,556 --> 00:17:44,507
You people should be
ashamed of yourselves.
418
00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:47,060
How many courses
did we have tonight?
419
00:17:47,094 --> 00:17:51,598
Two? Three, maybe,
if you chose the pudding.
420
00:17:51,632 --> 00:17:53,566
I mean, what waste.
421
00:17:53,601 --> 00:17:56,903
These tables, tarted up
like victorian whores.
422
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:59,972
Let's remember
we are all here...
423
00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:03,359
For the...
The dog society.
424
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:06,446
He's what's important,
whatever his name is,
425
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,481
not any of this.
426
00:18:08,499 --> 00:18:12,652
So that is going to be
my donation to you.
427
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,287
Thank you and good night.
428
00:18:14,321 --> 00:18:16,206
Whoa!
429
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:18,925
Uh... Oh.
430
00:18:21,762 --> 00:18:24,464
- Oscar.
- Nice to see you again.
431
00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:26,216
- It was lovely.
- It was lovely.
432
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:27,383
And don't forget to call.
433
00:18:27,434 --> 00:18:29,435
Okay.
434
00:18:31,838 --> 00:18:33,940
Thanks so much for coming.
435
00:18:33,974 --> 00:18:36,442
Why does this
always happen to me? Ah!
436
00:18:37,778 --> 00:18:40,730
I just feel so bad for Angela.
437
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:43,566
So it just goes on under here,
like this?
438
00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:44,651
That's right.
439
00:18:44,685 --> 00:18:46,286
- Oh, God!
- Yeah. Yeah,
440
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,654
- you never get used to that.
- Wow.
441
00:18:47,688 --> 00:18:49,789
Hey, just wanted to check in,
see how you're doing.
442
00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:51,407
I am so great.
443
00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:53,960
He's great.
We're all great.
444
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:55,328
12 dogs.
445
00:18:55,362 --> 00:18:57,964
This is my life now.
I'm a dog nurse.
446
00:18:57,998 --> 00:19:00,133
Look at that one, though.
He's smiling.
447
00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:01,301
Yeah, he should be.
448
00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:03,419
It's his first day
without a muzzle.
449
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:06,872
This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
450
00:19:06,891 --> 00:19:08,808
- Absolutely, it's...
- Yes.
451
00:19:08,842 --> 00:19:11,427
- Awesome.
- I'm sorry, are you guys nuts?
452
00:19:11,478 --> 00:19:14,264
He's not doing great.
He was fired.
453
00:19:14,315 --> 00:19:15,715
This is terrible.
454
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:18,518
This is literally
the worst thing
455
00:19:18,552 --> 00:19:21,554
that has ever happened to you,
not the best.
456
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,728
You're right.
457
00:19:28,746 --> 00:19:30,280
He's right.
I am a mess.
458
00:19:30,331 --> 00:19:32,031
This whole night I've been
trying to convince you guys
459
00:19:32,065 --> 00:19:33,416
that I'm fine.
I guess I thought
460
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:37,253
that if I could convince you
that I'm fine, maybe--
461
00:19:37,288 --> 00:19:40,740
Maybe you would think it too.
462
00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:45,962
I'm sorry, uh, I--
Uh, it's just, I--
463
00:19:46,013 --> 00:19:49,849
I-- I don't get to be in a lot
of human conversations, so--
464
00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:51,267
- Okay, well, Andy, listen,
465
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:53,269
it's okay if you don't feel
totally settled.
466
00:19:53,304 --> 00:19:54,637
This is all very fresh.
467
00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:55,972
Yeah, I mean,
admitting that you need help
468
00:19:56,023 --> 00:19:57,807
- is the first step.
- Yes,
469
00:19:57,858 --> 00:20:01,027
and also,
focusing on the positive.
470
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:02,979
Like, I got a lot of good things
going on.
471
00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,364
Yeah.
472
00:20:04,398 --> 00:20:05,565
Like that rock opera.
473
00:20:05,599 --> 00:20:07,033
You could always do that,
right?
474
00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:09,819
Yeah, I do.
I have that.
475
00:20:09,870 --> 00:20:10,903
Yeah.
476
00:20:10,938 --> 00:20:12,038
You're gonna be all right.
477
00:20:12,072 --> 00:20:14,240
Mmm, no.
No, he's not.
478
00:20:14,274 --> 00:20:16,743
Yes I am.
Thank you, Kev.
479
00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,995
You're welcome.
480
00:20:19,046 --> 00:20:22,465
Sometimes I feel like everyone
I work with is an idiot.
481
00:20:22,499 --> 00:20:26,452
And by "sometimes,"
I mean "all times."
482
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:31,424
All the time.
Every of the time.
483
00:20:34,295 --> 00:20:35,712
So some of us ended up
adopting those elderly dogs.
484
00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:37,029
It's been great.
485
00:20:37,048 --> 00:20:38,231
Pepper's been getting me
out of the house,
486
00:20:38,265 --> 00:20:39,416
going on runs.
487
00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:42,085
Yeah, my dog Ruby
doesn't do anything.
488
00:20:42,136 --> 00:20:45,705
She just lays there all day.
She's so chill.
489
00:20:45,723 --> 00:20:47,206
What do you feed her?
490
00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:50,510
Well, I put out Pro Bow Wow,
but she barely touches it.
491
00:20:50,544 --> 00:20:51,928
She's so dainty.
492
00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:54,764
Is she sick?
How are her poops?
493
00:20:54,815 --> 00:20:57,650
Doesn't really poop.
It's perfect.
494
00:20:57,685 --> 00:20:59,102
Nothing to pick up.
495
00:20:59,153 --> 00:21:01,871
She just kind of lies there
all day like a good girl.
496
00:21:01,906 --> 00:21:07,596
I put on the TV for her, but I have
to pop her eyes open, so she can see it.
497
00:21:07,631 --> 00:21:10,354
- Does she smell?
- She smells horrible,
498
00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:13,680
it's unbelievable, but I don't
want to put her in the bath,
499
00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:15,882
'cause I'm afraid she'll drawn.
500
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:21,298
People seem awfully
interested in you, Ruby.
501
00:21:21,299 --> 00:21:24,517
I guess they're just
jealous, right?
502
00:21:24,518 --> 00:21:27,459
Yeah, attagirl, attagirl.
503
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,651
And that stinks.
504
00:21:30,231 --> 00:21:36,763
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