1 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:07,208 Hey, everybody! It's closing time! 2 00:00:07,814 --> 00:00:10,337 You all gotta go home but you can stay here. 3 00:00:16,626 --> 00:00:18,765 ♪ Closing time ♪ 4 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:22,038 Every office needs an end of the day tradition. 5 00:00:22,715 --> 00:00:24,383 Something that tells you that the day is over. 6 00:00:24,475 --> 00:00:27,759 Otherwise, you go home and the night just feels like more day, it's weird. 7 00:00:28,191 --> 00:00:30,637 - ♪ Closing time ♪ - Tell me that you're okay. 8 00:00:30,787 --> 00:00:32,218 ♪ One last call... ♪ 9 00:00:32,869 --> 00:00:36,005 ♪ so finish your whiskey and beer ♪ 10 00:00:36,039 --> 00:00:37,540 Oh, my boss is singing closing time. 11 00:00:37,574 --> 00:00:38,674 Maybe that's what you're hearing. 12 00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,426 - Come on, Pam! - Okay. 13 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,461 ♪ Closing time ♪ 14 00:00:42,512 --> 00:00:49,084 ♪ time for you to go home to the places you will be from ♪ 15 00:00:49,102 --> 00:00:52,921 Let's see. Andy has been manager for 105 days. 16 00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:55,591 Which means I've heard closing time 17 00:00:55,609 --> 00:00:58,661 105 times. 18 00:00:58,695 --> 00:01:00,929 Still don't know the words. 19 00:01:00,947 --> 00:01:05,668 ♪ Ah wah dah wah home and home and home ♪ 20 00:01:05,702 --> 00:01:11,240 ♪ I know who I want to take me home ♪ 21 00:01:11,274 --> 00:01:16,378 ♪ I know who I want to take home ♪ 22 00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:20,983 ♪ I know who I want to take home ♪ 23 00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:25,054 ♪ take me home ♪ 24 00:01:25,088 --> 00:01:26,806 You know what? Fine! 25 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,474 I try to start fun traditions for you guys, 26 00:01:28,508 --> 00:01:32,061 but if you don't wanna sing, no traditions! 27 00:01:32,095 --> 00:01:34,847 ♪ Closing time ♪ 28 00:01:34,898 --> 00:01:36,849 ♪ every new beginning ♪ 29 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,034 I never heard that song before. 30 00:01:39,069 --> 00:01:41,771 And once I heard it, I did not care for it. 31 00:01:41,805 --> 00:01:44,640 But that songs means it's time to go home. 32 00:01:44,674 --> 00:01:47,710 Now it's my favorite song. 33 00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:49,995 ♪ every new beginning ♪ 34 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:54,950 ♪ comes from some other beginning's end ♪ 35 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,986 Good night. 36 00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:11,552 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 37 00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,419 - Who's your favorite iron chef? - This report is atrocious. 38 00:02:30,453 --> 00:02:32,421 You go first. 39 00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,525 The ticketing software paints a picture 40 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,397 of a sloppy, careless, error-prone office. 41 00:02:41,431 --> 00:02:45,167 Well, the monitoring software is a double-edged sword. 42 00:02:45,201 --> 00:02:47,837 - Sometimes the infer-- - Sorry. Go ahead. 43 00:02:47,871 --> 00:02:51,841 Mm-hmm. 44 00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:53,576 Did you need something from us? 45 00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:55,611 Yes. 46 00:02:57,781 --> 00:02:59,014 Your attention. 47 00:02:59,049 --> 00:03:03,018 Uh, because... 48 00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:06,021 No. That is all. 49 00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:13,896 Last night, I dreamed that the number two 50 00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:16,448 was the most valued number in the world. 51 00:03:16,499 --> 00:03:19,301 The vice president had all the power, 52 00:03:19,336 --> 00:03:21,737 athletes fought for silver medals. 53 00:03:21,755 --> 00:03:23,789 Women were considered the best gender. 54 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:30,012 And stadiums of fans shouted "we're number 2!" 55 00:03:30,046 --> 00:03:31,547 As with all my dreams, 56 00:03:31,581 --> 00:03:34,950 I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants. 57 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:37,419 Last week, an accounting mistake resulted 58 00:03:37,437 --> 00:03:39,221 in a client getting their order for free. 59 00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:41,490 Oof! That's not good. 60 00:03:41,524 --> 00:03:43,976 Chalk that one up to tweedle Dee and tweedle dum out there. 61 00:03:44,027 --> 00:03:45,160 Who are they? 62 00:03:45,195 --> 00:03:46,362 They're both Kevin. 63 00:03:46,396 --> 00:03:48,564 Oscar is the sex and the city gang. 64 00:03:48,598 --> 00:03:50,499 And Angela, if you can picture-- 65 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:53,736 Sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all. 66 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:55,371 I would agree with that. 67 00:03:55,405 --> 00:03:57,640 Simply end the mistakes. 68 00:03:57,674 --> 00:03:59,041 End the mistakes. Easy. 69 00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:01,126 When I come back next week and this report 70 00:04:01,161 --> 00:04:03,212 show me no mistakes, 71 00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:06,148 we can talk about names all day. 72 00:04:06,182 --> 00:04:09,151 Our favorite names, silly made-up names, 73 00:04:09,185 --> 00:04:11,453 normal names said in a silly voice. 74 00:04:11,471 --> 00:04:12,922 Wouldn't that be nice? 75 00:04:12,956 --> 00:04:15,925 - I would like that. - End the mistakes. 76 00:04:15,959 --> 00:04:18,227 That's all I ask. 77 00:04:19,512 --> 00:04:21,680 And you can't have a favorite iron chef. 78 00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:25,200 It depends entirely on the secret ingredient. 79 00:04:25,235 --> 00:04:29,967 Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all. 80 00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:35,577 I'm just saying with the NBA lock-out, 81 00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,047 I think roller derby's in a really good place right now. 82 00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:41,817 So my pitch is me, Pam, you, and someone else-- 83 00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:44,119 - Maybe justine. - Bah! 84 00:04:44,154 --> 00:04:46,155 Nope. Not justine. 85 00:04:46,189 --> 00:04:47,489 Never justine. 86 00:04:47,524 --> 00:04:49,458 - Is that off again? - Oh, yeah. 87 00:04:49,492 --> 00:04:50,876 - Okay. - Hey. 88 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:53,095 Mandatory warehouse safety meeting today. 89 00:04:53,129 --> 00:04:56,015 Uh, we don't really do those. We just sign the thing. 90 00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:59,685 Are you really this lazy? 91 00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:02,972 I'll be there. 92 00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,140 - Hey. - Hey. 93 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:07,009 Mondays suck. 94 00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:11,146 Yep. 95 00:05:11,181 --> 00:05:14,349 I'm just trying to-- 96 00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:15,901 Thanks. 97 00:05:15,952 --> 00:05:20,372 I may have a little solution to our mistakes problem. 98 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,690 This is a project I've been working on 99 00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:22,825 for quite some time. 100 00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:24,927 And today might be the day to use it. 101 00:05:24,961 --> 00:05:26,712 What do you got? 102 00:05:26,746 --> 00:05:29,081 Allow me. 103 00:05:31,251 --> 00:05:34,303 You're gonna love this. 104 00:05:34,337 --> 00:05:36,572 Ah, I should've used a shorter string. 105 00:05:36,606 --> 00:05:38,057 Never mind. I know it by heart. 106 00:05:38,091 --> 00:05:40,743 It is a system that holds people accountable 107 00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:42,211 for everyone else's work. 108 00:05:42,245 --> 00:05:43,779 Sounds controversial. 109 00:05:43,813 --> 00:05:45,748 Have I not been worthy of your trust? 110 00:05:45,782 --> 00:05:48,984 Have I not been a reliable number two? 111 00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:51,687 Do not go there! 112 00:05:51,721 --> 00:05:53,956 You're the deuce I never wanna drop. 113 00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:56,692 Well, I can make this work. 114 00:05:56,726 --> 00:05:58,627 I'll set it up right now. I just need your go-ahead. 115 00:05:58,661 --> 00:06:01,613 Go do the voodoo and you do so well. 116 00:06:01,664 --> 00:06:04,433 - I will do my voodoo. - Mm-hmm. 117 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:05,901 - Hey. - Hey. 118 00:06:05,919 --> 00:06:07,419 I need you to get the paperwork rolling 119 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:08,737 on a new workplace relationship. 120 00:06:08,755 --> 00:06:11,173 - For you? - Yes, for Gabe. 121 00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:12,524 Who are you seeing? That's great. 122 00:06:12,559 --> 00:06:15,844 Whom I'm seeing is Val from down in the warehouse. 123 00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:17,262 Oh. 124 00:06:17,297 --> 00:06:19,798 I'm not technically seeing her, but I've seen her-- 125 00:06:19,849 --> 00:06:22,051 with the eyes-- and there was attraction 126 00:06:22,085 --> 00:06:25,387 in at least one direction. So... 127 00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:27,806 You know, I don't have to do paperwork 128 00:06:27,857 --> 00:06:29,425 unless you're actually dating. 129 00:06:29,459 --> 00:06:32,394 Okay, well, once this starts, it's gonna be moving fast. 130 00:06:32,428 --> 00:06:33,762 It's gonna be hot and heavy, 131 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:35,781 and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape 132 00:06:35,815 --> 00:06:36,949 wrapped around my jock, you know? 133 00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:39,601 But I mean, have you talked to her? 134 00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:42,538 Yeah, we had a whole conversation about mondays. 135 00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,207 Do you know her last name yet? 136 00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:47,126 Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow 137 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,278 because she's gonna be screaming it tonight. 138 00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:51,013 She's gonna be screaming her own last name? 139 00:06:51,047 --> 00:06:54,249 Hey. Watch it. 140 00:06:54,284 --> 00:06:55,784 Good luck, Gabe. 141 00:06:55,819 --> 00:06:57,719 - Hi, guys. - Hi. 142 00:06:57,754 --> 00:06:59,321 I just wanna say that you all 143 00:06:59,355 --> 00:07:02,291 - have been doing amazing work, really. - Thank you. 144 00:07:02,325 --> 00:07:05,327 And I'd like to add that your work has been a little sloppy. 145 00:07:05,361 --> 00:07:09,098 So Dwight and I have implemented a new program 146 00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:12,017 that we like to call-- Dwight? 147 00:07:12,068 --> 00:07:13,986 The accountability booster. 148 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,772 It registers every time a mistake has been made 149 00:07:16,806 --> 00:07:18,040 in the office, 150 00:07:18,074 --> 00:07:20,442 from a late delivery to an accounting error. 151 00:07:20,476 --> 00:07:24,046 Five strikes in a day equals a homerun. 152 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,548 One home run and you're out. 153 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:29,718 If we as a group make five mistakes in a day, 154 00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:33,205 something bad happens, like we block mindsweeper. 155 00:07:33,256 --> 00:07:34,490 Or in this case, 156 00:07:34,524 --> 00:07:36,325 an email gets sent to Robert California containing 157 00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:37,960 the consultant's report from last year. 158 00:07:37,994 --> 00:07:39,361 Remember the one that recommended 159 00:07:39,395 --> 00:07:40,796 the branch be shut down? 160 00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:43,999 And as a failsafe also every negative email 161 00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:45,667 you've ever written about him to the group 162 00:07:45,685 --> 00:07:47,002 will also be forwarded to him. 163 00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:48,737 What emails are you talking about? 164 00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:51,106 "Robert's favorite songs, Creep by TLC, 165 00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:52,774 Creep by Radiohead." 166 00:07:52,809 --> 00:07:54,343 Remember that one, Jim? 167 00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:55,978 Uh, "there's no way he hasn't strangled 168 00:07:56,012 --> 00:07:57,679 at least one stripper." 169 00:07:57,697 --> 00:07:59,414 Oscar. 170 00:07:59,449 --> 00:08:01,383 "He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it 171 00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:03,919 for disappoint him." Kelly. 172 00:08:03,953 --> 00:08:05,404 That's not that bad actually. 173 00:08:05,455 --> 00:08:08,073 "P.S. We should kill him." 174 00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:10,492 Wait, so you installed a doomsday device? 175 00:08:10,527 --> 00:08:12,861 No, it's an accountability booster. 176 00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,329 Which when it goes off, it destroys everything 177 00:08:14,364 --> 00:08:15,731 very similar to a doomsday device. 178 00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:17,199 Jim, you're trying to make me sound like 179 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,834 some kind of evil maniac. 180 00:08:18,868 --> 00:08:21,854 The point is is that we are now working in an environment 181 00:08:21,888 --> 00:08:25,741 where we have accountability to each other. 182 00:08:25,775 --> 00:08:28,143 I am confident that you guys are equal to the task. 183 00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:29,411 - Um, no, we're not. - No. 184 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:32,314 And you are a psycho who is ruining our lives. 185 00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:33,799 We can't do this, Dwight. Look around. 186 00:08:35,151 --> 00:08:36,918 Smile. 187 00:08:36,936 --> 00:08:38,854 Nod. Smile and nod. 188 00:08:38,888 --> 00:08:40,923 They're making me out to be a Bond villain. 189 00:08:40,957 --> 00:08:44,092 I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist 190 00:08:44,127 --> 00:08:47,062 who will stop nothing to remake the world... 191 00:08:47,096 --> 00:08:49,731 Like... 192 00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:53,669 Not Dr. Moreau. Someone good. 193 00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,871 Dr. Frankenstein. 194 00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:59,875 Dr. Jekyll. Not them. 195 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:01,543 Doctor... 196 00:09:05,615 --> 00:09:07,483 Are you sure that this is a good idea? 197 00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,951 I mean, that thing about this office is 198 00:09:08,985 --> 00:09:10,553 we make a lot of mistakes. 199 00:09:10,587 --> 00:09:12,588 But the device will change that. 200 00:09:12,622 --> 00:09:16,358 Without a safety net, people will improve. 201 00:09:19,079 --> 00:09:20,129 All right, everybody. 202 00:09:20,163 --> 00:09:21,830 Looks like we need to be getting to work. 203 00:09:21,864 --> 00:09:24,833 Be extra careful, double check everything. 204 00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:27,052 Or the accountability booster will getcha. 205 00:09:27,087 --> 00:09:30,272 This doomsday device sounds like a scare tactic to me. 206 00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,892 There's an easy way to tell if this device is a sham. 207 00:09:32,926 --> 00:09:35,094 We just make a mistake. 208 00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:36,595 I'll send an order down to shipping 209 00:09:36,646 --> 00:09:38,581 before we've received payment. 210 00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:47,656 Oh! There's one mistake. 211 00:09:47,691 --> 00:09:49,792 Now we only have four strikes left until a homerun. 212 00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,893 Dwight's our co-worker and he worked really hard 213 00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:53,262 on this doomsday device. 214 00:09:53,296 --> 00:09:56,832 It's not a doomsday device. Gosh! 215 00:09:56,866 --> 00:09:59,285 We can do this, you guys. 216 00:09:59,336 --> 00:10:00,836 - First! - Second. 217 00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:02,438 It's not a race. 218 00:10:02,472 --> 00:10:05,791 Thirrr-- Third. 219 00:10:05,842 --> 00:10:07,409 Who knows what the belt is for? 220 00:10:07,444 --> 00:10:09,595 It's for protecting my ass when you suckers lift more 221 00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:10,796 than you can handle. 222 00:10:10,847 --> 00:10:13,632 'Sup. I'm Gabe. Corporate. 223 00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:15,917 Continue. Don't be nervous. 224 00:10:15,936 --> 00:10:17,186 Apparently, we have a visitor. 225 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,521 - Gabe, everyone. - Hi, Gabe! 226 00:10:19,556 --> 00:10:21,923 All right, so the support belt. 227 00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:24,526 Now this one is mine. Doesn't get much use nowadays. 228 00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:27,129 Look at this. This is enormous. 229 00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:30,099 Oh. 230 00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:33,402 I got the sense that Val enjoys a good put-down. 231 00:10:33,436 --> 00:10:35,621 Considering that's the only thing I know about her, 232 00:10:35,655 --> 00:10:37,990 I will be milking that hard. 233 00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:40,442 It's like a hula hoop. Right? 234 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:44,413 ♪ Mele kalikimaka is Hawaii's way ♪ 235 00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:48,651 You done? 236 00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:51,053 The Michelin man called. He wants his cummerbund back. 237 00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:54,289 Remember we have to give Regal Escrow 238 00:10:54,307 --> 00:10:55,491 their refund by five. 239 00:10:55,525 --> 00:10:57,059 I'm on it. 240 00:10:57,093 --> 00:10:59,161 Kevin, maybe I should handle that. 241 00:10:59,195 --> 00:11:02,164 We really need you to focus on your project. 242 00:11:02,198 --> 00:11:03,632 Good thinking. 243 00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:06,702 Apparently a big client for this company 244 00:11:06,736 --> 00:11:09,905 needs to know the story of how paper gets made. 245 00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:16,745 Oscar, use a calculator. 246 00:11:18,548 --> 00:11:21,383 When the stake are this high, there's only one computer 247 00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:26,088 that I trust, and it's powered by thai food and spanish reds. 248 00:11:26,122 --> 00:11:27,989 All right, everybody, you're doing great! 249 00:11:28,008 --> 00:11:29,191 Well, I wouldn't say that. 250 00:11:29,225 --> 00:11:30,542 Three mistakes already is pretty terrible. 251 00:11:30,593 --> 00:11:31,960 But I do see improvement. 252 00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,729 Meredith kept someone on hold for 30 minutes, 253 00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:36,882 and now look-- She's hard at work. 254 00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:38,717 - Dwight, question. - No questions. 255 00:11:38,768 --> 00:11:39,768 If this doomsday device goes off-- 256 00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:41,170 Accountability booster. 257 00:11:41,204 --> 00:11:43,472 If this bad idea goes off and we all lose our jobs, 258 00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:44,707 are you gonna feel good about that? 259 00:11:44,741 --> 00:11:46,475 I haven't even considered it. 260 00:11:46,509 --> 00:11:48,360 That's how sure I am that this accountability booster 261 00:11:48,395 --> 00:11:50,245 is gonna work. 262 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,780 Try mose 1234. 263 00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:53,014 Dwight would never be that obvious. 264 00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:56,568 Try something like, um, z64$8. 265 00:11:57,787 --> 00:11:59,688 Not that exactly, Jim. Something like that. 266 00:11:59,706 --> 00:12:00,789 Okay. 267 00:12:00,824 --> 00:12:04,126 How about "Scranton strangler 666"? 268 00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:08,130 - Nope. - No? Oh. Shoot. 269 00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:09,531 You guys are never 270 00:12:09,549 --> 00:12:11,633 gonna shut down the machine, okay? 271 00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:14,069 But I appreciate your energy and your teamwork. 272 00:12:14,104 --> 00:12:15,504 You apply this to your regular work, 273 00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:17,339 you won't even notice that the device is there, 274 00:12:17,374 --> 00:12:20,976 watching you, ready to strike. 275 00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:22,594 What's Dwight's mother's name? 276 00:12:22,645 --> 00:12:26,148 Um, Hedda. 277 00:12:26,182 --> 00:12:27,382 No. 278 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,436 Once you've ready the packet, sign the back. 279 00:12:30,487 --> 00:12:31,854 Hey, Darryl, I was thinking, um, 280 00:12:31,888 --> 00:12:33,555 maybe while we read through this, uh, 281 00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:36,575 you could grab us all some coffee. My treat. 282 00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:38,494 A $100 bill. 283 00:12:38,528 --> 00:12:40,295 Should cover it, I think. 284 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:43,031 Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? 285 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,616 I want a decaf frappuccino. 286 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,834 Val? 287 00:12:45,869 --> 00:12:47,836 Actually, Val, why don't you come with? 288 00:12:47,871 --> 00:12:50,372 I'll need the extra hands to carry them back. 289 00:12:50,407 --> 00:12:51,306 - Yeah. Sure. - Uh... 290 00:12:51,341 --> 00:12:53,592 Mm-hmm. 291 00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:55,344 Caramel soy latte. 292 00:12:55,378 --> 00:12:57,579 - No, a decaf frap. - Got it. 293 00:12:59,382 --> 00:13:03,051 You sent the late notice to Rinehart and Wolfe, right? 294 00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:04,887 Mm-hmm. 640, 620. 295 00:13:04,921 --> 00:13:07,439 670, 620. 296 00:13:07,474 --> 00:13:09,124 - Uh-uh. - Yes. 297 00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:13,278 588 plus 15%. 298 00:13:13,313 --> 00:13:14,646 Oh, no. 299 00:13:14,697 --> 00:13:16,031 What does this mean? 300 00:13:16,065 --> 00:13:17,032 What does it mean? 301 00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:23,605 Guh. That's five strikes. 302 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,376 Well, I was saving this for my retirement, 303 00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,044 which I guess is today. 304 00:13:29,078 --> 00:13:31,713 Dwight, we got five strikes. 305 00:13:31,748 --> 00:13:32,714 Really? 306 00:13:32,749 --> 00:13:34,216 Did the email go out, or--? 307 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,552 It goes out automatically at 5:00 P.M. 308 00:13:36,586 --> 00:13:38,003 There's got to be a way to stop it. 309 00:13:38,054 --> 00:13:39,388 Well, I would have to enter my password 310 00:13:39,422 --> 00:13:40,639 in order to cancel it. 311 00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:44,810 Okay. Dwight, you may now enter your password. 312 00:13:44,844 --> 00:13:47,162 - No. - What? 313 00:13:47,197 --> 00:13:48,847 You don't deserve to have this branch. 314 00:13:48,898 --> 00:13:51,967 Five mistakes in less than a day? 315 00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,268 We did our best. 316 00:13:53,302 --> 00:13:55,103 No, you didn't, Phyllis. 317 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,688 You complained the whole time. 318 00:13:56,739 --> 00:13:57,873 You yelled at me, 319 00:13:57,907 --> 00:14:00,025 you tried to break into the machine. 320 00:14:00,076 --> 00:14:01,243 What? 321 00:14:01,277 --> 00:14:03,311 You're a real crumb bum, you know that? 322 00:14:03,329 --> 00:14:04,847 Hey, you can't just change the rules 323 00:14:04,881 --> 00:14:07,349 because you don't like the outcome. 324 00:14:07,383 --> 00:14:08,534 What about you, Kevin? 325 00:14:08,585 --> 00:14:10,335 What about you and your fake task? 326 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,254 Can you tell me now where paper comes from? 327 00:14:12,288 --> 00:14:15,357 Uh...The man tree puts his penis-- 328 00:14:15,391 --> 00:14:17,793 Okay, all right. Andy, back me up here please. 329 00:14:17,827 --> 00:14:19,228 - No. - What? 330 00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:20,546 No! 331 00:14:20,597 --> 00:14:22,931 Dwight, be human for once. Shut down the machine. 332 00:14:22,966 --> 00:14:24,766 Shut it down! Shut it down! 333 00:14:24,801 --> 00:14:27,052 Shut down the machine! Shut it down! 334 00:14:29,022 --> 00:14:31,640 Good luck finding a new job, idiots. 335 00:14:31,674 --> 00:14:34,342 I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. 336 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,945 Glowingly negative. 337 00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:42,217 Dwight's car is gone. I bet he went home. 338 00:14:42,322 --> 00:14:43,756 Some of us should go there 339 00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,525 and try to talk some sense into him. 340 00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:47,510 Get him to stop that email. 341 00:14:47,544 --> 00:14:48,845 Pam, you should come with me. 342 00:14:48,879 --> 00:14:51,681 Dwight really likes you and...Your breasts are enormous. 343 00:14:51,715 --> 00:14:53,216 That can help us. 344 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:57,170 - Kevin has that lovability. - Guys, come on. 345 00:14:57,204 --> 00:14:58,688 I'm right here. 346 00:14:58,722 --> 00:15:00,206 Jim, I want you to go find Robert. 347 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,809 Just be where he is in case that email goes out at 5:00. 348 00:15:03,843 --> 00:15:05,845 You can try to delete it or something. 349 00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:07,113 Okay, where is he? 350 00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:08,514 He's at some club where you either 351 00:15:08,549 --> 00:15:11,734 eat squash or play squash. 352 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,686 I'll try both. 353 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:18,023 Oh. Did you come to reason with me? 354 00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,625 Got you something. 355 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,750 And, uh, I just really wanna talk to you. 356 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:28,901 Get lost. 357 00:15:28,936 --> 00:15:30,636 Well, now hold on. 358 00:15:30,671 --> 00:15:32,889 What are you doing? 359 00:15:32,923 --> 00:15:34,440 What does it look like I'm doing? 360 00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:36,092 Digging a grave for a horse. 361 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,228 Um... 362 00:15:39,263 --> 00:15:41,614 Do you need a hand? 363 00:15:41,648 --> 00:15:44,767 Yeah, you need a hand? 364 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,659 If you hit another horse, you dug too far. 365 00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:55,912 I'll see you next week, Will. 366 00:15:55,946 --> 00:15:57,496 Robert? 367 00:15:57,531 --> 00:15:59,599 Jim, what are you-- 368 00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:00,917 What a surprise! 369 00:16:00,951 --> 00:16:02,084 Yeah, well, you know, just had a meeting-- 370 00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:03,836 Squash meeting. 371 00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:06,205 Yeah? 372 00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:07,573 You up for a game? 373 00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:09,542 A game or a match? 374 00:16:09,576 --> 00:16:12,178 Exactly. Here we go. 375 00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:16,015 Let's do it. 376 00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:20,753 Are you okay, Kevin? 377 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,273 Where you going? 378 00:16:24,308 --> 00:16:25,825 In. I'm hungry. 379 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,611 Uh, could we come in too? Just for some water? 380 00:16:28,645 --> 00:16:30,813 Okay. Take off your shoes. 381 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:34,033 Except you, Kevin. They stay on. 382 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:38,571 Oh, wow. I forgot how pretty your house is. 383 00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:39,939 This is the newest addition 384 00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:42,441 built by Erasmus Schrute in 1808. 385 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:47,797 It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009. 386 00:16:47,831 --> 00:16:50,082 That's too much doodle and not enough lab. 387 00:16:50,116 --> 00:16:52,918 Yeah, when are they gonna do a labradoodle that's just lab? 388 00:16:52,953 --> 00:16:55,304 That's what I'm saying. 389 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,977 Hey. 390 00:17:01,011 --> 00:17:02,979 - You're welcome. - Thanks for the coffee. 391 00:17:03,013 --> 00:17:05,181 So tonight I was thinking I'm gonna go to the cemetery, 392 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,132 I'm gonna drink a little wine, 393 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:08,801 and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me. 394 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,037 Are you asking me on a date? 395 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,989 Yes, I am. 396 00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:14,507 Because I don't date coworkers. 397 00:17:14,541 --> 00:17:16,876 It's not personal. It's a matter of policy. 398 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,478 I could quit. Problem solved. 399 00:17:19,513 --> 00:17:22,415 Don't quit. 400 00:17:22,449 --> 00:17:27,353 Good policy. It's sensible, smart. 401 00:17:27,387 --> 00:17:29,455 All right, serving. 402 00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:31,207 Serving, serving, serving. 403 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,844 - In the box. - In the box. 404 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,601 Why haven't we heard anything? 405 00:17:42,636 --> 00:17:44,387 It's 4:45. 406 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,105 There's only 15 minutes left. 407 00:17:46,139 --> 00:17:47,890 Oh, now you can do math? 408 00:17:47,924 --> 00:17:49,992 Where were you two hours ago, beautiful mind? 409 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,727 I made a mistake. I'm sorry! 410 00:17:51,762 --> 00:17:53,946 I know how to save the company, everyone. 411 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:55,514 Just write a petition. 412 00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:59,652 Get everyone's signature, including our clients. 413 00:17:59,686 --> 00:18:01,654 March down to Florida... 414 00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:05,257 And shove it up your butt. 415 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,410 It's not that funny. 416 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,723 Oh, Pam, you got something on your shirt. 417 00:18:20,757 --> 00:18:22,391 Oh! 418 00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:24,310 Oh, well. 419 00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:26,278 Pobody's nerfect, right? 420 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,680 Did you just have a stroke, Pam? 421 00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:29,115 It's nobody's perfect. 422 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,233 Nice stroke, Pam. 423 00:18:31,268 --> 00:18:34,754 No, it's a jokey saying. Pobody's nerfect? 424 00:18:34,788 --> 00:18:38,240 Like, I can't even say those words right. 425 00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:43,095 I haven't heard that before. That's-- that's funny. 426 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:44,780 Dwight, there's just the small matter of-- 427 00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:47,967 You know what would go so great with this cabbage pie? 428 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,135 Milk. 429 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,036 Any specific animal? 430 00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:53,005 - I'm thinking cow. - Don't say cow. Ugh. 431 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:57,143 What are you doing? It's five to five. 432 00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,762 Just don't talk about the email, okay? 433 00:18:59,796 --> 00:19:01,247 He's gonna cancel it on his own. 434 00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:03,449 - I really think he will. - That's insane. 435 00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:04,717 Just trust me. 436 00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:06,585 Trust you like I trusted Dwight this morning? 437 00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:09,087 I got this. 438 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,460 Thanks for everything. 439 00:19:14,494 --> 00:19:16,812 Sive drafely. 440 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,668 Isn't it supposed to be drive safely? 441 00:19:26,656 --> 00:19:29,241 Is that my phone? 442 00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:31,276 Sounded like mine. 443 00:19:31,294 --> 00:19:33,829 No, I think it's mine. Let me just check real quick. 444 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,464 All right. 445 00:19:35,499 --> 00:19:38,551 Oh, it's mine. You took it out of my bag. 446 00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:40,820 Oh. Woop. Yeah. 447 00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:44,807 - Can I have it? - Yes. 448 00:19:44,841 --> 00:19:46,458 - Right now? - Yes. 449 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,478 - Here you go. - Whoa, no, wait, wait, whoa! 450 00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:50,629 - Oh, man, I'm sorry. - What the [Bleep]? 451 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,231 - Sorry. - Jesus. 452 00:19:52,265 --> 00:19:53,849 Did it break? 453 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,801 - No, it's good. - Are you sure? 454 00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:59,805 - Yeah. - What kinda iPhone is that? 455 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,807 It's the standard one. The one everyone has. 456 00:20:01,842 --> 00:20:04,142 Oh, yeah, I have the one that nobody has. 457 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,412 Anything interesting? 458 00:20:06,446 --> 00:20:07,646 It depends, Jim. 459 00:20:07,681 --> 00:20:08,998 Do you find one-day only 460 00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:12,451 Jetblue sales to Buffalo interesting? 461 00:20:12,486 --> 00:20:14,319 No, I don't. 462 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:19,625 No...I...Don't. 463 00:20:19,659 --> 00:20:21,594 All right. 464 00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:25,698 Well...I am sore, and obviously horrible at this. 465 00:20:25,732 --> 00:20:28,200 My serve! 466 00:20:32,222 --> 00:20:34,857 Dwight stopped the device. 467 00:20:36,243 --> 00:20:40,446 He stopped it! 468 00:20:41,548 --> 00:20:43,315 Oh, we still have our jobs. 469 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,284 They're not my favorite people in the world. 470 00:20:45,318 --> 00:20:47,019 I wouldn't even call them friends. 471 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,705 They come over here, eat my pie, 472 00:20:49,739 --> 00:20:52,691 dig the crappiest horse grave you've ever seen. 473 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,695 God, I'm gonna have to work with them forever, aren't I? 474 00:20:59,248 --> 00:21:01,432 Just take it easy. Nice and easy. 475 00:21:01,466 --> 00:21:03,401 Ah! 476 00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:05,135 Classic, right? 477 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,831 - Ooh. - I'm all right. 478 00:21:16,865 --> 00:21:18,182 - You all right? - Yep. 479 00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:20,751 - Skinned knee. - Yep. 480 00:21:20,786 --> 00:21:22,820 Agh. Oh. 481 00:21:22,838 --> 00:21:24,338 Put a little ice on that maybe. 482 00:21:24,373 --> 00:21:25,923 Yeah. 483 00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:29,380 - That does not feel good. - Okay, my serve.