1
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,568
It's a beautiful
morning at Dunder Mifflin.
2
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:15,481
Or as I like to
call it, Great Bratton.
3
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,149
Keep it running.
4
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,381
CREED:
Do I love being manager?
5
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,589
I love my kids.
I love real estate.
6
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,125
I love ceramics.
I love my job.
7
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,354
I love wrestling.
8
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,456
Find out what
language this is.
9
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,962
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
10
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,699
Okay, team building.
11
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:44,109
On this side of the room,
Stanley, Phyllis, Jim,
Ted, Elroy.
12
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:48,046
And on this side of
the room, Pam, Meredith,
Phyllis, Creed...
13
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,344
He never called a meeting.
14
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,479
Boboddy. Boboddy.
15
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,149
What does
the first "B"
stand for?
16
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:57,813
What are we doing?
17
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,692
We're making acronyms.
Okay! What does the
first "B" stand for?
18
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,490
Um, business!
19
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,890
I like it!
20
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,893
Business. Good, Kevin!
21
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,698
All right, the "O."
22
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,168
We need a new manager.
23
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,144
So, after the Navy,
I thought,
24
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:58,708
"Cool, me
and America are square.
I've done my bit for the flag,
25
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,879
"and time for me
to look out for myself."
26
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,423
I had a buddy
in the paper biz
so I just dove right in.
27
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,083
How was your experience
in the Navy?
28
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,592
It was nuts. Yeah.
29
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,521
I was in Hong Kong
three times.
30
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,587
Still have pretty
crazy flashbacks from that.
31
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,792
Really? What kind of thing
did you do?
32
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,061
Meteorologist.
33
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,762
What do you mean, like
weather surveillance, or...
34
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,704
Predictor.
Constantly had to
predict the weather,
35
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,537
which is...
I'm not a god.
I'm just a guy in a shack
36
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:22,906
with a pair
of binoculars.
37
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,569
What do you think
about this weather
we're having now?
38
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,341
Don't even talk to me
about the weather, man.
39
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,382
It just all comes
back to me, you know?
40
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,384
There was this one night
I predicted it was gonna
be warm.
41
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,411
I sent 200 men out
without their jackets.
42
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,988
It was 60 degrees
that night,
43
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,350
52, with windchill.
44
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,098
You can't imagine
their faces shivering through
that Carrie Underwood concert.
45
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,563
Your paper experience
is very interesting.
46
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,537
And although
it's mostly manufacturing,
47
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,632
do you think you could
use that experience to
inform decisions here?
48
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,643
Absolutely, yes.
49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,445
In fact, I actually
have a three-step plan
50
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,948
that I believe
could effectively
double your profits.
51
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,313
Really?
Yeah.
52
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,075
What is it?
53
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,782
(CHUCKLES) Nice try.
54
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:15,493
I'm sorry.
What is your
three-step plan?
55
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,631
Well, I mean, I can't
just hand you my plan.
56
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,697
I mean, if you guys
give me the job,
then you'll get the plan.
57
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,901
Well, it's an interview,
and we don't know that
you really have the plan.
58
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,963
I'm not gonna just make
up that I have a plan.
59
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,101
I got a plan. Believe me,
you guys want it.
You're in paper, right?
60
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,702
How do we know
that if you don't...
61
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,269
You could just be
saying it to get
the job.
62
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,315
I guess I could be
if I was...
63
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,783
Who would do that?
How about this,
64
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,116
why don't you give
us a part of the plan,
65
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,655
and that way we
know you have it.
66
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,556
Tell you what?
I'll give you part
three of part two.
67
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,489
Not gonna give
you a whole part.
68
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,550
Okay.
69
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,398
Color-code
said documents. T.M.
70
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,265
Did you just
trademark that?
What?
71
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,303
That's a verbal trademark.
That's an agreement.
72
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,697
JIM: We are the search
committee, hand-picked
by our CEO
73
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,108
and tasked to find this
branch's new manager.
74
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,372
Not everyone we
meet will be good,
75
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,875
but someone's
bound to be, right?
76
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,143
And to be honest,
77
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,049
I think a lot of
the decent candidates
are right here in house.
78
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,654
So, I'm not too worried.
79
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,956
But I'm really excited
to spend a lot of time
with Toby and Gabe.
80
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,788
Did you know that
Gabe's last name
was Lewis?
81
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:22,757
I had no idea.
82
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,454
Good morning.
83
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,897
Morning.
Good morning.
84
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,562
Good morning.
85
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,227
Did you have
a nice drive in?
86
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,565
I did.
87
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:35,736
I have a solid
relationship with Jo,
the company's owner.
88
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,535
I have management experience.
89
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,739
I have a good
friendship with Jim,
90
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,372
the head of
the search committee.
91
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,984
And it doesn't hurt that I'm
92
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,381
black!
93
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,020
We all know this
is a popularity contest.
94
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,357
And Darryl's
the coolest kid in school.
95
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:58,330
Used to be Jim.
Hasn't been Jim
in a long time.
96
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:02,725
It's good.
97
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,662
It's just words,
which will surprise people.
98
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:09,176
Yeah. It's based on
a really successful cigarette
ad campaign from a while back.
99
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,403
Those were good ads.
Yeah.
100
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,945
They got me smoking
when I was eight.
101
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,540
I couldn't quit smoking
until the government put out
better ads about not smoking.
102
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,181
I love smoking.
103
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,081
I really hope you get it.
104
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,452
The manager job?
No, I'm barely interested.
105
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,285
I just can't not
go for it, you know.
It's not the Bernard way.
106
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,088
We give it
the old college try,
107
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,822
and then in defeat,
we show grace.
108
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:33,461
Still, I'd really
like to see this office
with you in the boss's chair.
109
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,695
Don't even...
(GROANS)
110
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,635
You in the
boss's chair!
No.
111
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,900
ANDY: In my family,
you don't really
go out and get things.
112
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,466
If you want something,
you write it on a list
113
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,204
and then the housekeeper
goes out and gets it
114
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,178
on Wednesdays and Fridays.
115
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:50,674
So, I don't know.
I guess you could say
this job is on my list
116
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,980
and we'll see what
Rosa comes back with.
117
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,458
Did you hear anything?
118
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,886
Oh, I'm sure they'll
let us know when
they get the results.
119
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:08,059
It turns out that
Erin was born in the
basic time and region
120
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,864
that I gave
away a child.
121
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,231
So Phyllis
might be my mom.
122
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,640
I mean, the chances
are tiny, but...
123
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,110
Yeah, probably not.
124
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,113
I mean, it was
a big year for babies.
125
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,876
Porky's had come out.
Yeah.
126
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,346
I'm sure I was just
another Porky's baby.
127
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,283
But why not find out?
Yeah.
128
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,614
(CRUNCHING LOUDLY)
129
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,551
Should you really be
so blatant about that?
130
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,359
They won't make me manager,
and I won't settle for
anything less.
131
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,991
I've gone about as
far as I can here.
That's obvious.
132
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,064
I'm going to take
my talents elsewhere.
133
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:46,267
Are you really
gonna apply for work
at Scranton Bread Works?
134
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:50,573
Bread is the paper
of the food industry.
You write your sandwich on it.
135
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,009
Can you do any
better on salary?
136
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,878
Unfortunately, that
range is set at corporate.
137
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,808
What about mileage
when I use my car?
138
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,750
I mean, gas ain't cheap,
you know.
(CHUCKLES)
139
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,081
We think that
25 cents a mile
is pretty generous.
140
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,522
How about 27 and...
141
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,257
When I make
long-distance calls,
142
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,557
will they be monitored,
or is it on the honor system?
143
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:11,220
Okay.
144
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:13,722
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
145
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,633
How odd!
146
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,641
A very unusual phone call
from the Senator's office.
147
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:25,805
The Senator wants me
to have lunch with him
at the Botanical Gardens.
148
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,438
The Botanical Gardens,
149
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,881
Scranton's hidden gem.
150
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:33,743
Don't eat any berries
you don't recognize.
151
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:38,150
How will your experience
selling refinery equipment
152
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,318
translate to our
smaller scale here?
153
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,725
You don't work
in sales, do you?
154
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,923
Human resources.
155
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,857
You see,
I sit across from a man,
156
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,802
I see his face,
I see his eyes.
157
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:56,004
Now, does it matter if
he wants $100 of paper
158
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,374
or $100 million of
deep-sea drilling
equipment?
159
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:00,778
Don't be a fool.
160
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,476
He wants respect.
He wants love.
161
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,652
He wants to be younger.
He wants to be attractive.
162
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:11,717
There is no such
thing as a product.
163
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,358
Don't ever think there is.
164
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,563
There is only sex.
165
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,095
Everything is sex.
166
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:26,763
You understand
that what I'm telling you
is a universal truth, Toby?
167
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:27,997
Yes.
168
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,974
Okay, I am... I'm almost
a little concerned that
169
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,742
you might be overqualified
for the position.
(LAUGHS)
170
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,215
Do you, um...
Do you think
that you are?
171
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,784
Do I look like someone
who would waste my
own time?
172
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,145
No.
173
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,353
Can you...
(CLEARS THROAT)
174
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,727
You are a man of
great confidence.
175
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,189
Could you speak
a little more to that
176
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,100
and what the role
of confidence
177
00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,336
would be in a dialog
with a subordinate?
178
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,135
Will you be heard?
179
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,209
Will you have a voice?
180
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,870
Will I steamroll over you?
181
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,507
Do you feel heard
right now, Jim?
182
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,087
Do you have
a voice right now?
183
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,519
You can answer me.
Yes.
184
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,554
That was your choice,
not mine.
185
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,688
The fallacy is that it
is up to the steamroller.
186
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,762
It is up to the object
187
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,498
whether it will be
flattened or not.
188
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,634
And I can tell just from
the small interaction
we've had already,
189
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,400
you won't be
flattened by anybody.
190
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,038
Do you agree with me, Jim?
Yes.
191
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,839
Yes, you do.
192
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,597
He creeps me out.
193
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,735
But I think he
might be a genius.
194
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,602
Dwight, there's
a call for you
on line 2.
195
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,372
No, thanks.
196
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,715
He's in the shower.
197
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:32,962
Good luck, Darryl.
198
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,360
Thank you.
199
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,532
Is that the kind of boss
he would be?
200
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,734
Completely insensitive to
the insecurities of other
people in this office
201
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,868
who might
also be interviewing
for the manager position
202
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,242
and might also want to be
wished a little bit of luck
203
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,679
'cause they're kind of
spinning out a little bit?
204
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,645
I don't want
that kind of boss.
No, thank you. Not good.
205
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,512
Good man, though.
Nice guy. My best friend.
206
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,479
Think about it.
207
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:01,722
What other mammal,
besides humans, drinks
the milk of another mammal?
208
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,455
I mean,
you don't see a bear
drinking raccoon milk.
209
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,165
How long have
you been off dairy?
210
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,061
As soon as I can say no
to those two pushers,
Ben & Jerry.
211
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,660
(ALL LAUGHING)
212
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:13,832
So this is cool.
I think we make
a good fit.
213
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,641
Oh, we haven't started
the interview yet.
214
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:18,843
Were you joking?
215
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,175
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
216
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,207
Uh, yes. I was.
217
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,985
A little joke.
218
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,448
So how would you
go about settling
219
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,753
interpersonal conflicts
within the office?
220
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,959
I thought that was your job.
221
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,192
Well, it's
one of my strengths,
but it's the manager's job.
222
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,362
Well, for instance,
how did you deal
with it
223
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,426
when two warehouse
guys got into a fight?
224
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:47,668
I'll answer that, Jim.
I would use it as
an opportunity to teach
225
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:53,042
about actions and
consequences of actions.
226
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:02,947
Who's that?
227
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:06,885
So I think
all we need is a resume
and we'll be good, right?
228
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,996
I just thought you knew me.
Yeah, it's no big deal.
229
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,965
Just something
that looks like that.
230
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,428
JIM: Cool?
231
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,524
Let me...
232
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:17,292
Oh.
233
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,369
Cool.
234
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,448
Did you just interview?
235
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,245
Oh, unfortunately, yes.
236
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,311
What do you mean?
237
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,517
That business
can't attract anyone.
238
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,723
It's awful up there.
239
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,387
Those people seem
like they're in prison
waiting out life sentences
240
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,900
in a dying industry.
241
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,597
Place must be horrible.
242
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,038
I don't know if
I want this job.
243
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,338
Well, if I get this job
offer, then I know that
I'm gonna take it.
244
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:02,280
And if I take it, I know
that I'm never gonna quit.
245
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,546
And then 25 years
are gonna go by,
246
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,489
and I'm gonna die here.
247
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:13,690
What makes you feel qualified
to judge a place after
a mere interview?
248
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,301
What are you doing?
249
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,375
Stop trying
to figure me out.
250
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,910
I just did.
You can't.
251
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,840
It's done.
No, it's not.
252
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:34,278
I know you now,
your nature.
253
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,713
You don't know me.
You don't know
anything about me.
254
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:36,909
I'm done.
Get out of my head.
255
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,975
Not worth continuing.
Stop trying
to figure me out.
256
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,208
(CLEARS THROAT)
257
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:46,021
Do you even know
anything about paper?
258
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,390
How it's made?
259
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,022
I saw an episode on
how they make paper
on Sesame Street.
260
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,423
Get out.
261
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,436
I'm gonna prevent inferior men
from sullying my place of work
262
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,995
with their weak,
passionless leadership.
263
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:05,036
Do you see my hat? No?
That's because I just
threw it in the ring.
264
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,345
You guys pay
for relocation,
though, right?
265
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:11,475
Well, why would you need
relocation if you
already live in Scranton?
266
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,244
Well, I'd wanna move
further away, you know?
267
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,118
Just don't want
any chance of running
268
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,851
into my coworkers
outside the office.
269
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,494
Can I ask why you're
leaving your current job?
270
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:29,660
I'm leaving my other job
because they were all jerks.
271
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,705
Really. You know,
all of them.
272
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,331
You had your jerk-wads
and your jerk-offs, so...
273
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,135
Just between the wads
and the offs, I just thought,
"I gotta get out of here."
274
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,143
Is this a bad time
to be doing this?
275
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:43,248
I know
I'm having a bad time.
276
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,909
I'm sorry. If we did
something to upset you,
277
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,750
I'm sure it was inadvertent.
278
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,385
Wait.
279
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,428
Oh, why did I believe
that weirdo in the lobby?
280
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,961
These are the nicest
people I ever met.
281
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,497
Thank you.
282
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,165
I'm engaged.
283
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,208
Damn, girl.
284
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,015
PAM: It's gorgeous, Angela.
285
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,151
Yeah, I actually
know about nice rings,
and it is gorgeous.
286
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:20,242
Wow.
287
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:23,517
It's a little flashy.
I mean, what am I,
Naomi Judd?
288
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,390
Tell us the
freaking story!
289
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,993
Yeah, tell us
a story.
290
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:30,894
Okay. He took me
to the replica of
Monet's Japanese Bridge.
291
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,299
And then he put
this flower behind my ear,
which normally I would hate,
292
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,892
'cause it's so
civil rights-y.
293
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:38,301
Then he got down on
one knee and he said,
294
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,472
"Will you be
a senator's wife?"
295
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,532
(LAUGHS)
296
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,804
He talked about himself
in the third person?
297
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:48,644
Yes, Pam.
Not everyone is as
informal as you and Jim.
298
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,684
"Hey, Pam,
dude, whatever.
Wanna marry me?"
299
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,151
(ALL LAUGHING)
300
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,585
That's not accurate.
301
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,419
Then I saw flashes.
So, reporters were there.
302
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,949
They always find us.
And everyone was crying.
303
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,325
Even his aide.
304
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,421
Angela's engaged to a gay man.
305
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,758
As a gay man,
I'm horrified.
306
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,427
As a friend of
Angela's, horrified.
307
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:14,434
As a lover
of elegant weddings,
I'm a little excited.
308
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,409
But overall, horrified.
309
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,346
Andy? You all set?
310
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,873
Okay, guys. It's time.
311
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,282
It's pep talk time.
Tell me what I need to hear.
312
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:30,089
Hmm, are you sure
this is a good idea? I...
313
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,151
I hate to see
you disappointed.
314
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,559
That's not what
I was hoping for.
315
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,028
Okay, I just want
someone to tell me,
"You're gonna do great."
316
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,291
You'll do great.
Come on.
317
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,270
You guys are my best friends.
318
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,472
I'd be happy
if Andy were boss.
He listens to my stories.
319
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,038
And they're not
all A-plus stories,
let's be honest.
320
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,983
But you know what?
He always listens
like they're A-plus.
321
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,352
Well, some are A-plus.
322
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,448
I think Andy
should be the boss.
323
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,290
He's just so great.
324
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,556
If I'm being objective,
then Darryl, of course.
325
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,527
So, Andy, what
improvements would you
make as office manager?
326
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,468
For starters, I really
think we can streamline
communication around here.
327
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,840
Whoa. That's a very
heavy accusation to
level against Toby.
328
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,135
I wasn't accusing...
329
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,677
Well, Toby's in charge
of human resources.
330
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,269
That would include
communication.
331
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,877
I think that
Toby's done a fine job.
332
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:32,514
Right. I really wasn't
trying to insult anyone.
333
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,745
I didn't think you were.
334
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,550
I have two relationships
with Andy.
335
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,382
I have a personal
relationship,
336
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,016
and I have a professional
relationship.
337
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,285
Personally, yeah,
I think he's a rat
338
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,057
and I think
he's responsible
for the demise
339
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:45,564
of my relationship
with Erin.
340
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,693
Professionally...
341
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,536
He broke up
the happiest couple
in this office.
342
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,231
How many windows are
there in New York City?
343
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,435
What?
Critical thinking.
344
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,703
Common on-the-spot question
asked in an interview.
345
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:59,768
Okay. Uh, let me think.
Are you counting
car windows?
346
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,814
No. How far away
is the sun?
347
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,043
Ninety-three million miles.
348
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,645
Is it?
Yeah.
349
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,816
And the diameter of
the sun is 870,000 miles,
350
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,949
which makes it 109 times
wider than the Earth
351
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,855
and 333,000 times
heavier than the Earth.
352
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,327
Shut up about the sun.
353
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:18,830
Shut up about the sun!
354
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:23,931
Okay, I'm not a doctor,
355
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,598
but I think
the medical term
for that was a spaz out.
356
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,073
Gabe just lost it.
357
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,936
That's the best part about
convening a tribunal.
358
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:37,172
One bunal can go down,
and you still have
two bunals left.
359
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,842
Right?
360
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:41,751
Andy, how'd it go?
361
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,685
I don't want to brag, but...
362
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:46,657
I did my best.
363
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,989
Hello!
364
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,529
I forgot something in my car.
365
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,025
You guys are so cute.
When are you gonna
get back together?
366
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,730
Never. We're just friends.
367
00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,794
Oh!
368
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,168
Okay, my mistake.
369
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:05,734
You know, you could have
any man in this
whole office with your legs.
370
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,413
I say go for it,
if you're interested.
371
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,915
But you're not,
so never mind.
372
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,963
I am unhappy
with the confusing
373
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,331
and, at times,
confrontational
nature of that meeting.
374
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,233
I wanted it to go better.
375
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,969
I wanted it to go better!
376
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,443
Yes, there used to
be a paper clip that
would pop up and say,
377
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,639
"Looks like you are writing
a letter or resume.
Would you like help?"
378
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,774
I believe his name
was Clippy.
379
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:47,377
CREED: First of all,
I wanna thank you
380
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,581
for your years of
patronizing our company.
381
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:53,757
I've got some bad news.
We're going out of business.
382
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,250
Saving face.
383
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:58,822
Yep, yep. I understand that.
384
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,466
Basically everything's
falling apart here.
385
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,298
How is this on me?
386
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,193
Hang up.
387
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,641
Corporate needs you
to find the differences
388
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,542
between this picture
and this picture.
389
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,471
Intel has told us there
were at least seven.
390
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,845
Okay. I already
see one. Give me.
391
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,041
Okay.
392
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,619
They're the same picture.
393
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,924
Well, I manage my department,
and I've been doing that
for several years now.
394
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,257
And, God, I've learned a lot
of life lessons along the way.
395
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,491
Your department's
just you, right?
396
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,795
Yes, Jim,
but I am not
easy to manage.
397
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,298
Great. Um,
can we just...
398
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,159
What was that?
399
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:42,698
We just have a lot
of serious candidates
to get through today, so...
400
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,973
Am I not
a serious candidate?
401
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,874
What do you
want me to say?
402
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,007
I mean, there's a line
of qualified people
out there.
403
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,017
We have a video
CV from England.
404
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,848
Are we all just
gonna pretend to...
405
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:55,953
Okay. Um...
406
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,156
What are your weaknesses?
407
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,988
I don't have any, (BLEEP)
408
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,165
Erin, I believe you have
my resume on file.
409
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:12,501
Please print out four copies
on 32-pound cotton stock,
bright white.
410
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:13,561
No...
411
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,275
Ivory.
Yes, sir.
412
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:17,810
Who's in there now?
Kelly.
413
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,903
For God's sake.
414
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,574
So, Kelly, what do you think
the future holds for the
paper business?
415
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:24,116
Me peeing on
Gabe's corpse.
416
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,178
I want an interview.
417
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,315
How's the family?
Good.
418
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,257
Good? Are they good?
Yeah.
419
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,558
What's your daughter's
name again? Pee Pee?
420
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,689
Peepa.
421
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:39,959
Peepa. How is she?
422
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,193
Great.
Great!
423
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,058
Oh, that's great.
424
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,539
We never were very
good at small talk,
were we, Jim?
425
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:47,595
No.
Now, listen...
426
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,403
You're not getting
an interview, Dwight.
427
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,910
The whole point
of this search
committee process
428
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,775
is to prevent hiring
someone like you
ever again.
429
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,178
Okay. I know why
you're saying that, Jim.
430
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,840
I really do.
But think of it
this way.
431
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,952
The hand that reaches
from the grave to
grip your throat
432
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,215
is the strong hand
you want on the wheel.
433
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:04,689
Okay. That's vivid.
434
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,555
Now, I'm gonna make
you an offer, okay?
435
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,686
You even do so
little as grant
me an interview,
436
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:13,096
I will guarantee you
your dream work life, okay?
437
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,157
You roll in
at 10:00 a.m.
438
00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:17,328
to your own private
reserved parking spot,
439
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:20,703
pick up your
daily free coffee from
Dwight's Caffeine Corner,
440
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,969
unlimited sex breaks
for you and Pam.
441
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:25,671
Yikes.
Erin will eat garbage
for your entertainment.
442
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:29,078
Wow. You know how
I like taking bribes.
(CHUCKLES)
443
00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:31,447
But unfortunately,
Jo also took the
job away from you
444
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,110
because she doesn't
trust your judgment.
445
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:36,050
So how would that
look for me if
I recommended you?
446
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,387
Fine, I'll do it
without you.
447
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:42,317
You'll regret this.
Okay.
448
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:44,920
Let me get
that for you.
449
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:46,792
Thank you.
Okay.
450
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:51,569
As long
as you keep it moist,
it's easier to work with.
451
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:53,697
And I can't just use
a tube of crescent rolls?
452
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:57,677
You know what, go to
McDonald's for dinner.
Why cook?
453
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,037
Okay.
454
00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:04,116
Pam,
455
00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:06,384
I think Robert is gay.
456
00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:08,017
The Senator?
457
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,319
He was married before,
and he has a kid.
458
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,688
So...
And don't say that thing
459
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:14,818
about how lots of
gay guys have kids.
460
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:18,494
I have a very
strong suspicion.
461
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:20,722
Did you?
462
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,669
Oh! (CHUCKLES) No.
463
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:25,760
No.
464
00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,203
Did you see him
at a bathhouse?
465
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:28,901
What bathhouse?
466
00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:31,068
The windowless building
by the Baskin Robbins.
467
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,001
What?
468
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,307
Forget it. I'm
never gonna know
what goes on there.
469
00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:38,480
Name: David Brent.
Occupation: Inspirer.
470
00:23:38,617 --> 00:23:40,609
Status: None of your business.
471
00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:42,946
Young, free and
single, though.
Thanks for asking.
472
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,284
Hear you're looking
for a new boss, yeah?
473
00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:48,790
Someone to tell
a bunch of discontented,
under-encouraged drones
474
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:49,954
what to do every day.
475
00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:52,794
Is that it?
Our out-of-touch
powers that be.
476
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,357
Want me to fire them?
They don't see things
your way?
477
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:58,029
Then I ain't that dude.
Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye.
478
00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,765
Get some other
corporate suit to
lay down the law.
479
00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:01,431
What? You've
changed your mind?
480
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,339
You're now looking
for a leader of men?
481
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,970
Ipso facto. Women too.
482
00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,713
When do I start?
483
00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:08,803
Eh?
484
00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:13,575
Hey.
Hi. Hey.
485
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:17,145
I realized I never paid
you back for that lunch you
paid for, like, a month ago.
486
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:18,650
Yeah, don't worry about it.
487
00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:20,522
Well, it's money.
488
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:24,154
I was thinking I could make
dinner for you tonight,
like a Middle Eastern feast.
489
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,392
Chicken shawarmas,
shish kebabs,
pita with hummus.
490
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:31,760
Well, I think I only lent you
like $3. That would be so
much more trouble.
491
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:34,273
Just bring the money tomorrow.
No big deal.
492
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,071
Or else I'll break your legs.
493
00:24:37,743 --> 00:24:39,837
Not if I can help it.
494
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,544
My friend at
the Scranton Blade
495
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:49,315
is totally plugged
into these matters.
496
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:51,246
You're in
the gay mafia.
497
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,918
You're thinking of
another group, much
wealthier, much older.
498
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,188
You sound ignorant.
499
00:24:56,562 --> 00:24:58,724
You guys, um,
talking senator?
500
00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:00,788
No.
No.
501
00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:02,664
Why would we be
talking about
the Senator?
502
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,764
'Cause he's totally gay.
503
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:07,301
How do I know
that Robert is gay?
504
00:25:07,706 --> 00:25:11,734
He "liked" my
Facebook photos at
3:00 in the morning.
505
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:15,338
It was a really
good photo, though.
506
00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:18,912
Do you know what it took
to get Bob to notice me?
507
00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:21,480
I waited in his
office every morning
508
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:23,044
wearing nothing
but kitty cat ears.
509
00:25:23,122 --> 00:25:25,114
I did that every
day for two weeks.
510
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,522
And on the tenth day,
he walked in,
511
00:25:26,592 --> 00:25:28,720
he was naked too,
except a dog nose.
512
00:25:29,495 --> 00:25:30,758
Guess what we did then?
Bestiality.
513
00:25:30,829 --> 00:25:31,990
I don't think
I can do that...
514
00:25:32,564 --> 00:25:33,554
Yeah.
515
00:25:33,632 --> 00:25:34,964
That's not
my personality.
516
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,196
If my daughter
were asking me...
517
00:25:38,437 --> 00:25:40,497
Yes?
(LAUGHS)
518
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:45,203
I would say
if you want someone,
if you really want them,
519
00:25:45,677 --> 00:25:47,043
go get them.
520
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:50,546
I do really want him.
521
00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:53,976
So, uh, here you go.
522
00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:56,317
Great.
Hope it's all right.
523
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,378
I'm sure it's fine.
524
00:25:58,323 --> 00:26:00,849
The guy who
was in here earlier,
interviewed after me,
525
00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:02,188
how'd he do?
526
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,695
Howard Klein?
No, no, no, no.
527
00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:05,025
That's not who
I'm talking about.
528
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,556
Oh. Deshawn Williams.
529
00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:09,192
Yes. How did he do?
530
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,737
He's an amazing man.
He's a Rhodes Scholar.
531
00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:15,673
He invented an app
that invents apps.
Fantastic kisser.
532
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:18,142
Come on, man.
I'm being serious.
Don't joke.
533
00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:19,471
Darryl, we all know you.
534
00:26:19,545 --> 00:26:22,014
Your interview is not
nearly as important
as the other guy's.
535
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:27,647
First I'll take down
the cubicle walls.
536
00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:30,018
But there aren't...
Symbol of transparency.
537
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:31,714
There'd be no titles.
538
00:26:32,658 --> 00:26:34,092
Everyone has the same job.
539
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:35,992
Same goes for me.
540
00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:39,832
I'll take your job,
but I'd reject the title.
541
00:26:39,898 --> 00:26:40,957
A little unspecific.
542
00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:44,435
Everyone would be known
for their accomplishments.
543
00:26:45,037 --> 00:26:47,233
That's very interesting. Um...
544
00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:49,298
I feel like
there might be
a conflict there,
545
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:52,207
and if a conflict did arise,
how would that be dealt with?
546
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,075
Oh. Yeah.
547
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,304
Hmm.
548
00:26:56,381 --> 00:26:58,475
Scratch
everything from before.
I'll tell you what I'd do.
549
00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:00,048
Go the other way.
550
00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:02,020
More cubicles.
551
00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:03,548
More division.
552
00:27:04,256 --> 00:27:07,454
Everyone is
somebody's boss,
553
00:27:07,593 --> 00:27:11,052
and that
person can fire
the person below them.
554
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:15,761
And once a month, the
lowest-performing person...
555
00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:16,858
(MAKES CUTTING NOISE)
556
00:27:17,536 --> 00:27:18,560
Bye-bye.
557
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,937
How would you compare
like an accountant
and HR?
558
00:27:22,007 --> 00:27:23,999
Well, I'll tell
you how, shall I?
559
00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:25,704
I'll tell you how.
Okay.
560
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:28,006
By splitting the difference.
561
00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:30,906
Just somewhere in the middle.
562
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:33,177
I think that's probably
all we need to hear from...
563
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:34,276
Zen office.
564
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:35,810
Hmm?
565
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:38,349
Thought of that?
That's what I'd do.
566
00:27:38,857 --> 00:27:41,793
Everyone takes
their shoes off
before they come in.
567
00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:45,322
Okay? There'd be no desks.
You just sit on the floor.
568
00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:47,329
That's very...
569
00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:49,391
You've got a Thai
woman out in the back...
570
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:50,795
Saki.
571
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,661
Okay.
Saki.
572
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:53,967
That's not...
573
00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:55,735
Saki is her name, okay?
574
00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:58,936
She's administering massage,
all right, if you need it.
575
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,776
If you don't, whatever.
Just talk to her.
She's a person.
576
00:28:02,447 --> 00:28:05,007
Either way,
15 minutes of
that, and you...
577
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:08,180
You are cracking to go.
578
00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:10,011
(CLEARS THROAT)
579
00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,750
Office of the future.
580
00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:15,219
Like the inside
of a Virgin airplane.
581
00:28:15,561 --> 00:28:18,224
Telecommuting, all right?
Everyone's at home.
582
00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:21,790
The office is
just a big empty space.
It's just full of screens.
583
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:26,602
Sony. Sony.
Everything's just
Sony, made of Sony.
584
00:28:26,672 --> 00:28:27,696
From Sony.
585
00:28:27,773 --> 00:28:29,264
I don't think that's how
telecommuting works.
586
00:28:29,341 --> 00:28:35,645
And then we sell tickets to
tourists for them to
see the office of the future.
587
00:28:36,081 --> 00:28:37,845
Okay. Wow.
Cutting edge.
588
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:41,182
You have to hire me.
589
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,915
There's no ideas left.
590
00:28:43,655 --> 00:28:46,215
That's all the ideas there is.
591
00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:49,757
There's a lot more
where they came from.
592
00:28:56,468 --> 00:28:59,097
Jim, what can you tell us?
Is there a frontrunner?
593
00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,731
You know what?
They all just sort of
blend together after a while.
594
00:29:02,541 --> 00:29:04,134
Well, there must be
someone who stands out.
595
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:07,179
No, not at all. In fact,
I'm not even taking
it seriously.
596
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:09,681
I think at the end of the day,
I'm just gonna pick a name
out of the hat.
597
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:10,738
OSCAR: Well...
598
00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,512
The hell you will!
599
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:15,019
I worked for the
last boss for
15 years.
600
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,784
According to my doctor,
I don't have another
15 years
601
00:29:17,856 --> 00:29:21,054
if I wanna keep up the same
dietary and sexual lifestyle,
602
00:29:21,126 --> 00:29:22,219
which I intend to.
603
00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:24,661
Oh, no, Stanley.
You'll live forever.
604
00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:28,326
My next boss
will be my last boss.
He'll be at my funeral.
605
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,837
So I would appreciate it
if you would take
this seriously.
606
00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:37,066
You pick a crappy boss,
you're responsible for
my crappy life.
607
00:29:37,142 --> 00:29:39,008
Okay, everybody.
I was just making a joke.
608
00:29:39,077 --> 00:29:40,807
I am taking it seriously.
I promise.
609
00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:42,370
Are you?
610
00:29:43,882 --> 00:29:47,614
Little advice?
Take a day off from
the whole Jim shtick.
611
00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:49,549
Try caring about something.
612
00:29:49,855 --> 00:29:52,882
You might like
how it feels, James.
613
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,622
Gabe, honey!
614
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:01,722
(DOG BARKS)
615
00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:04,195
Oh, lord.
Take all this.
616
00:30:04,269 --> 00:30:05,293
All right.
617
00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:06,360
Here.
618
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:17,905
Jim.
619
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:19,346
Did you hear
Stern this morning?
620
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,512
No. Was he good?
Uh, Robin was good.
621
00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:23,612
She's always good.
Keeps him on his toes.
622
00:30:23,689 --> 00:30:25,021
It's Howard's show, though.
623
00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:26,551
Whose is this?
624
00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:28,252
Darryl Philbin.
625
00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:31,589
Oh. Very nice to see
a familiar face on top.
626
00:30:32,030 --> 00:30:35,660
My, a little long,
aren't we? Four pages?
627
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,030
Is this the same
Darryl Philbin
628
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,936
who's had two jobs in
10 years at one company?
629
00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:45,706
Yes, thanks to you who
promoted me after we,
uh, interfaced.
630
00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:48,741
"Coordinated
and implemented
receipt, storage,
631
00:30:48,814 --> 00:30:52,945
"and delivery of over
2.5 billion units
of inventory."
632
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,887
2.5 billion, Darryl?
2.5 billion units
of what?
633
00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:59,591
Paper material, ma'am.
634
00:31:00,158 --> 00:31:01,319
Paper material?
635
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,450
Pieces of paper.
636
00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:05,025
Anybody have
a calculator?
637
00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:09,726
You figure what?
638
00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:13,598
Five hundred sheets
a ream, 24 reams a case,
639
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:15,640
how long you worked here...
640
00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:22,037
I can see
how you landed
in that ballpark.
641
00:31:22,247 --> 00:31:26,947
Laid end to end, it's
enough to almost stretch
60% of the way to the moon.
642
00:31:27,352 --> 00:31:30,584
I think this resume almost
stretches halfway to
the moon.
643
00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:33,982
(CLEARS THROAT) Jo, may I
speak to you for a second?
644
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,687
Or what?
You gonna shoot me?
645
00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:37,889
(LAUGHS)
646
00:31:38,196 --> 00:31:40,597
Oh, I enjoy
laughing at
my mistakes
647
00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:42,964
because I've learned
so much from them.
648
00:31:43,668 --> 00:31:45,296
I'd like to
be interviewed
for the position.
649
00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:46,633
I'll interview you
right now.
650
00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:48,230
Okay.
Question one.
651
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:49,797
Ever shot a gun
in the office?
652
00:31:51,810 --> 00:31:53,039
It's complicated.
653
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:55,137
Yeah, but see, it's not.
654
00:31:57,182 --> 00:31:59,981
I will not give up.
I won't even be
discouraged.
655
00:32:00,051 --> 00:32:03,749
Why? Because managing
this office is my destiny.
656
00:32:05,223 --> 00:32:07,419
My only potential
obstacle is
657
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:11,088
if becoming manager is
someone else's destiny
as well.
658
00:32:12,397 --> 00:32:15,026
But, hey,
if this is a case
of clashing destinies,
659
00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:16,862
enjoy the show.
660
00:32:17,502 --> 00:32:18,663
I don't think
we should tell her.
661
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:21,433
Angela went a whole
day without telling me
I had lettuce in my teeth.
662
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:22,599
Screw her.
663
00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:24,267
I'm a woman.
I would want to know.
664
00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:25,332
MEREDITH: Yeah.
You gotta know.
665
00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:29,279
Okay. But if Angela
can get a gay man
to marry her,
666
00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,809
maybe I could get
a lesbian to marry me. Huh?
667
00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:34,742
Huh? That's hot.
668
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:36,618
You have
met a lesbian
in real life, right?
669
00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:41,557
What we should
warn her about is that the
whole institution of marriage
670
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,121
is corrupt.
That's the lie.
671
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:44,322
Okay, we're not
talking about that.
672
00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:45,659
We're not talking
about marriage.
673
00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:49,132
You know,
this probably is her
last chance at a family.
674
00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:52,103
She does
seem happy.
675
00:32:52,871 --> 00:32:54,567
You're right.
You're right.
676
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,835
She seems happy.
We don't tell her.
677
00:32:57,409 --> 00:32:58,638
We don't tell her.
PAM: Okay.
678
00:32:59,945 --> 00:33:02,210
So what else
should we gossip about?
679
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,240
I know,
like who's gonna be
the new manager, right?
680
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,616
Will it be...
681
00:33:10,055 --> 00:33:12,889
Me?
Yes. Yes, it will.
682
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:14,315
Yeah, right.
683
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:16,355
Excuse me,
Ms. Bennett,
may I have a word?
684
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:17,487
Okay.
685
00:33:17,562 --> 00:33:18,894
Uh, can it be in private?
686
00:33:18,964 --> 00:33:20,728
Don't worry.
It's not about you.
687
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,699
As minority executive,
I think it's my responsibility
688
00:33:26,771 --> 00:33:28,740
to let you know
that Gabe is gross.
689
00:33:28,807 --> 00:33:30,105
I don't think
it's professional
690
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,404
that he was sleeping
with the receptionist,
691
00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:33,775
and then when Erin dumped him
so that she could be
with Andy,
692
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,713
he became a total
crazy stalker psycho.
693
00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:40,240
Welcome to Scranton, Jo,
land of 1,000 problems
only you can fix.
694
00:33:40,318 --> 00:33:41,877
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
695
00:33:43,588 --> 00:33:45,454
Oh, for God's sake.
696
00:33:46,892 --> 00:33:47,882
(JO SIGHS)
697
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,387
He's texting me his resume
one line at a time.
698
00:33:53,064 --> 00:33:56,466
These are costing me
10 cents apiece,
you jackass.
699
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:57,525
I'm roaming!
700
00:34:00,071 --> 00:34:02,836
Get me our biggest
client on the phone,
right this instant.
701
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,005
Who is our
biggest client?
702
00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:11,481
Uh, just put him
through to me.
703
00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:14,008
Okay.
704
00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:15,885
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
705
00:34:15,954 --> 00:34:17,752
Hello, this is the client.
706
00:34:17,822 --> 00:34:18,983
It's Creed.
707
00:34:19,190 --> 00:34:22,627
FYI. I'm starting
my own paper company.
708
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,193
Looking to poach
some chumps. You in?
709
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:26,822
Yes.
(CHUCKLES)
710
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:29,993
Cool! Let's keep
this on the Q. T., okay?
711
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,560
I don't want you to
be a dead mamma jamma.
712
00:34:32,637 --> 00:34:34,196
Great. Bye-bye.
713
00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:37,264
(SIGHS)
714
00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:42,145
Get me our second
biggest client.
715
00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,772
This is great.
I love work.
716
00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:47,377
Again?
717
00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:51,547
Hold, please.
718
00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:52,886
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
719
00:34:54,492 --> 00:34:55,585
Hello?
720
00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,285
Who is this?
721
00:34:57,362 --> 00:34:59,422
This is your
second biggest client.
722
00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:05,361
I want you to
listen very carefully.
I'm gonna sing you a song.
723
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,738
(SCATTING)
724
00:35:18,183 --> 00:35:19,651
Jo, you have
one more candidate.
725
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:21,946
He's a burn victim.
Huh?
726
00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:24,049
He's all messed up.
727
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,251
I can tell him to
get lost if you want.
728
00:35:26,324 --> 00:35:27,656
No. Send him in.
729
00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:30,156
Who is this?
730
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,796
I have no idea.
I know this guy.
731
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:41,962
Um...
732
00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:46,408
Hello, Mr. Souvenier.
Mr. Jacques Souvenier?
733
00:35:46,945 --> 00:35:48,777
Nice to meet you.
It says here you're French?
734
00:35:49,180 --> 00:35:51,581
So you worked at your
last job for 15 years
735
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,585
as assistant to
the regional manager.
736
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,813
Assistant
regional manager.
737
00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:56,013
Assistant to the
regional manager.
738
00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:58,079
Assistant regional manager.
What is it?
739
00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:59,920
(WITH ACCENT)
Assistant regional manager.
740
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,584
That's my mistake.
Sorry about that.
741
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,959
The last paper company
you worked for burned
to the ground?
742
00:36:04,029 --> 00:36:07,261
And all because they
wouldn't hire a manager
who lived and breathed paper.
743
00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:08,522
JIM: That's a travesty.
744
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,026
I wanna talk to
Dwight Schrute
for a second.
745
00:36:11,436 --> 00:36:12,699
I wanna ask him
a question.
746
00:36:12,771 --> 00:36:13,864
Get Dwight.
747
00:36:13,938 --> 00:36:15,839
If he isn't here
in 60 seconds...
748
00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:20,744
Wait, wait!
No. Stop, stop. Jo...
749
00:36:22,881 --> 00:36:24,281
It's me. I'm Dwight.
750
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:26,407
No.
751
00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:28,709
No. Wait. But...
752
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,585
I mean, you're
Dwight and then...
753
00:36:31,056 --> 00:36:32,251
He's the...
754
00:36:32,590 --> 00:36:33,580
Yeah.
755
00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:34,815
Oh.
756
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,961
Very unprofessional, Jacques.
Or should I say Dwight?
757
00:36:40,732 --> 00:36:44,794
Let's just say I had hired
this Jacques Souvenier.
Then what?
758
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,269
I would
have dressed
this way every day,
759
00:36:46,337 --> 00:36:47,635
legally changed my name,
760
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,766
learned French
sign language,
shown up,
761
00:36:49,841 --> 00:36:53,471
and been the best damn
branch manager you'd
ever seen.
762
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,480
All that for this job.
Yes.
763
00:36:57,649 --> 00:36:58,981
That's (BLEEP) crazy.
764
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,051
Get out of here.
765
00:37:05,356 --> 00:37:07,484
(DOOR SLAMS)
What a nut job.
766
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:13,129
This guy was good.
Although he did
keep saying
767
00:37:13,198 --> 00:37:14,928
that he needed two weeks off
right at the beginning
768
00:37:14,999 --> 00:37:16,729
for a trip to
the Finger Lakes.
769
00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:18,565
Seriously, every five
minutes he was like,
770
00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:20,332
"Hey, just making sure the
Finger Lakes thing is clear."
771
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:24,433
Okay. It's fun to
talk about the rejects,
but who's got you excited?
772
00:37:24,509 --> 00:37:25,841
Finger Lakes guy is good.
773
00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:28,109
Darryl is also very good.
774
00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:31,639
You know, I just wish
we'd find a candidate
that knows the company
775
00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:34,515
as well as, say,
some of the people
on this committee,
776
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,452
you know, who've been
here for a long time.
777
00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:37,811
Interesting.
778
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:41,455
It'd be a demotion for Gabe
and Jim's not interested,
so...
779
00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,823
Are you trying to tell me
you should be manager?
780
00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:46,228
You pulling
a Dick Cheney?
781
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:50,725
No, I'm just saying if
we can't find someone...
782
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:53,071
Yeah, sure,
I could do it.
783
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,098
You're funny.
Little Dick Cheney.
784
00:37:58,076 --> 00:38:00,204
You want it? Ask for it.
785
00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:02,708
Say you're the
best man for the job.
786
00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:10,879
I would work really hard,
and, I mean, you could
do worse.
787
00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:14,315
'Cause...
For God's sake.
788
00:38:14,592 --> 00:38:16,720
Who's this fellow?
Went to Cornell.
789
00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:18,454
What's wrong with him?
790
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,657
How much time do you have?
791
00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:21,724
Sales ability, none.
792
00:38:22,066 --> 00:38:24,001
Integrity?
See sales ability.
793
00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:26,968
And that's your
unbiased opinion.
Yes, it is.
794
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:29,940
So it's not relevant that
he took the receptionist
away from you.
795
00:38:30,542 --> 00:38:33,478
Oh, Jo. Jo,
I'm disappointed in you.
796
00:38:33,545 --> 00:38:36,174
Some people let personal
things into the work...
797
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:38,113
Is she with him?
Because I thought
that she's just...
798
00:38:38,183 --> 00:38:39,913
Gabe! (SIGHS)
799
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:43,880
Back when
I bought this place,
I was looking for a ghost.
800
00:38:44,422 --> 00:38:47,017
Somebody to flitter around,
spooking people,
801
00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:49,720
keeping them on their toes,
and then disappear.
802
00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:52,725
My girlfriend
said she knew a man
who looked like a ghost,
803
00:38:52,997 --> 00:38:54,488
and he went to
business school.
804
00:38:55,033 --> 00:38:57,025
But a ghost ain't
supposed to date people.
805
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:58,899
You think you're Beetlejuice?
No.
806
00:38:58,970 --> 00:39:01,565
I'm no Beetlejuice.
You're no good to me up here.
807
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:05,439
You got
all close to these people,
got involved in their lives.
808
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:07,509
Let's get you
back to Florida.
809
00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:09,312
We'll figure out
something for you.
810
00:39:09,747 --> 00:39:10,908
That sounds
like a promotion.
811
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:12,006
It's not.
812
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,410
Let's get Kelly in
here to take his place.
813
00:39:14,485 --> 00:39:15,714
Uh, why Kelly?
814
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,014
'Cause Gabe's tall and weak.
She's short and strong.
815
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:19,284
I'm doing
an opposites thing.
816
00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:21,515
Okay.
817
00:39:21,759 --> 00:39:23,227
How'd my girl Nelly do?
818
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:24,728
Oh, I didn't know
you knew her.
819
00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,424
She didn't mention it?
No.
820
00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:28,760
The integrity move.
I like it.
821
00:39:29,133 --> 00:39:32,035
Yeah, we met at some dumb
Women in Business seminar.
822
00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,903
I was the speaker, and
she was the only person there
823
00:39:34,973 --> 00:39:37,602
who wasn't trying to
sell some Curves ripoff.
824
00:39:38,476 --> 00:39:40,377
You know, she also
gave me reason to think
825
00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:42,277
that maybe she
wasn't a good fit.
826
00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:44,145
Well, I'm not saying
you must hire her.
827
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:47,410
If you find someone
who's clearly a fit,
then fine.
828
00:39:47,518 --> 00:39:49,316
Just make sure
they fit real good.
829
00:39:49,487 --> 00:39:52,286
No more
manager turnover.
Don't mess this up, Jim.
830
00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,585
And give
Dwight an interview.
831
00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:58,063
I like a little bit of crazy.
832
00:40:01,132 --> 00:40:02,122
(SQUEALS)
833
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,734
Erin, what are you doing?
834
00:40:03,801 --> 00:40:05,565
I've been turned
into a puppet.
835
00:40:05,637 --> 00:40:07,333
Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
836
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,840
Look at the puppet.
Hi, puppet.
837
00:40:10,008 --> 00:40:11,032
Who are you?
838
00:40:11,309 --> 00:40:13,471
I was going to put
on a puppet show today
839
00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:17,003
to warn people about the
faulty outlet behind the
fax machine.
840
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:19,781
But change of plan.
841
00:40:20,451 --> 00:40:22,545
I went to drop off
the FedEx forms,
842
00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:26,723
and an evil witch named
Angela turned me into
a puppet!
843
00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:30,284
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Low blow, puppet.
844
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:35,130
And there's only one thing
that can change me back
into a real girl.
845
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:37,159
It's good.
846
00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:41,365
It's just that I wish
the puppets would talk
more about the alphabet.
847
00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:45,775
Not for me, but if
any kids are watching.
848
00:40:46,344 --> 00:40:49,143
A, B... And so forth.
849
00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:50,808
You know.
850
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:53,977
M, N, L, O, P.
851
00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:57,544
F.
852
00:40:59,157 --> 00:41:02,127
I need
the most special
thing in the office.
853
00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:03,183
Silence?
854
00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:05,526
A date with
the best salesman,
855
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:08,695
Andy Bernard!
856
00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:12,759
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
857
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,467
Hey, Erin.
858
00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:22,972
Where'd you learn
how to puppet like that?
859
00:41:23,181 --> 00:41:25,013
I've done it all my life.
Listen, I'm really flattered,
860
00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:26,278
but I don't think we should.
861
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:35,826
Erin's my best friend
in this office,
hands down.
862
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:37,888
But
863
00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:41,558
when she asked me out,
I just didn't have
that feeling, you know?
864
00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:43,863
Aren't there some things
that you really want to like
865
00:41:43,935 --> 00:41:46,837
but you just can't
seem to like it?
866
00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:49,931
Like Mad Men or football.
867
00:41:50,908 --> 00:41:53,241
Let's not forget.
Erin chose Gabe
over me.
868
00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:54,540
That happened.
869
00:41:55,780 --> 00:41:59,410
I'm not gonna apologize
for getting over her, okay?
870
00:42:00,618 --> 00:42:04,214
I'm sorry.
I would go for
someone who's more...
871
00:42:06,424 --> 00:42:07,824
She's great, though.
872
00:42:14,465 --> 00:42:17,765
Hey, Jim. Elevator man.
Hey. Yup. All right.
873
00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,599
So, listen.
874
00:42:20,238 --> 00:42:24,266
I feel like
I came off terribly today,
and I want to just start over.
875
00:42:24,342 --> 00:42:26,436
What can I do?
Should I call Jo or...
876
00:42:26,511 --> 00:42:28,412
Maybe have my
old boss call her.
Listen, listen, listen.
877
00:42:28,479 --> 00:42:30,380
This isn't you, okay?
878
00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:34,078
The Darryl we all love,
he's calm, he's confident.
879
00:42:34,152 --> 00:42:36,121
So, just be that guy.
Okay.
880
00:42:36,187 --> 00:42:37,849
All right?
Okay, yeah.
881
00:42:37,922 --> 00:42:39,288
I was thinking that.
All right.
882
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,689
Thanks. Means a lot.
Yup.
883
00:42:41,759 --> 00:42:42,749
Of course.
884
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:46,555
Stanley, I won't be able
to invite everyone
to the wedding,
885
00:42:46,631 --> 00:42:48,759
because we wanna
keep it to 350.
886
00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:50,062
I'll get over it.
887
00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:52,194
I mean,
we just have to
see how many senators
888
00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:54,535
and members of Congress
want to attend
889
00:42:54,605 --> 00:42:57,040
before we can open it
up to regular people.
890
00:42:57,809 --> 00:43:00,745
Pam, you know
how you and Jim did
your ironic wedding?
891
00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:03,714
Do you still have the plans
for the dream wedding that
you couldn't afford?
892
00:43:04,282 --> 00:43:05,614
That was our dream wedding.
893
00:43:06,684 --> 00:43:07,982
Niagara Falls?
894
00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:10,951
Pregnant?
That was your dream?
895
00:43:11,823 --> 00:43:13,223
Pork medallions?
896
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,822
I hope you have a very
beautiful wedding, Angela.
897
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:25,394
So, Angela,
are you looking forward
to your wedding night?
898
00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:29,006
What goes on in
our bedroom is none
of your business, Phyllis.
899
00:43:29,373 --> 00:43:30,705
Or yours.
900
00:43:34,579 --> 00:43:38,346
Oscar, you build up
these enemies in
your head
901
00:43:38,549 --> 00:43:40,415
and you want to
see them suffer.
902
00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:43,922
But the thing is,
you don't.
903
00:43:45,656 --> 00:43:47,181
You don't.
904
00:43:51,429 --> 00:43:53,193
Oh, Oscar.
905
00:43:54,565 --> 00:43:56,090
All right.
906
00:43:56,167 --> 00:43:57,795
Name.
Dwight Schrute.
907
00:43:57,869 --> 00:44:00,100
Thank you, Mr. Schnoot.
We will let you know.
908
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:02,201
You have to interview me.
I just did.
909
00:44:02,273 --> 00:44:04,868
The answer to that
one question told me
everything I need to know.
910
00:44:05,209 --> 00:44:06,370
How did I do?
To be honest,
911
00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:09,414
I'm leaning
towards another man.
His name is Jacques Souvenier.
912
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,143
But would you like
to be his number two?
913
00:44:12,216 --> 00:44:16,153
God, it's gonna be hard,
but, yeah, I would do it.
914
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,618
Okay, well,
there's a lot
to think about,
915
00:44:17,688 --> 00:44:19,782
so we will
get back to you.
No.
916
00:44:19,857 --> 00:44:21,086
I demand more questions.
917
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:22,627
All right, guys.
Good day.
918
00:44:22,693 --> 00:44:24,252
A lot of candidates.
Let's discuss.
919
00:44:24,362 --> 00:44:26,263
Okay, if you're not
gonna interview me,
then I'll do it.
920
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:27,354
Yes.
921
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:29,763
What will be
your first priority?
922
00:44:30,935 --> 00:44:33,564
I will have seven
first priorities.
923
00:44:33,638 --> 00:44:35,869
Safety, profits,
924
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,674
fostering a community
of self-reliance and
entrepreneurship,
925
00:44:40,111 --> 00:44:42,842
listening, respect
for human life,
926
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:47,849
bolstering our public image,
and getting everyone
home on time.
927
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,684
Dwight, let me be frank,
928
00:44:50,821 --> 00:44:52,585
in an accident that
no one can blame you for,
929
00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:55,785
an antique gun was discharged
while you were acting manager.
930
00:44:56,093 --> 00:44:58,062
How are we ever
to trust you again?
931
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:02,689
That's a great question.
932
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:09,564
I am going to institute
a strict "No firearms"
policy for this office
933
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,109
that extends
to myself as well.
934
00:45:12,510 --> 00:45:15,412
Wow. All of my
concerns are disappearing.
935
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:17,477
Thank you, Dwight.
Thank you.
936
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:21,041
(CLEARS THROAT)
937
00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:24,354
You'll be hearing
from us shortly,
Mr. Schrute,
938
00:45:24,655 --> 00:45:27,386
and I think you're going
to like the call you're
going to receive.
939
00:45:28,025 --> 00:45:29,516
Oh, come on.
940
00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:33,363
I'm just happy
that I got this meeting.
941
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:37,730
(DOOR CLOSES)
942
00:45:37,802 --> 00:45:38,997
Well, that was quick.
943
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:42,199
(SIGHS)
Very, very
interesting.
944
00:45:42,907 --> 00:45:44,967
And you know what?
I'm impressed.
945
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:46,805
He's not a real candidate.
946
00:45:46,877 --> 00:45:48,778
I don't know, Jim,
'cause it makes me
think about something
947
00:45:48,846 --> 00:45:50,178
that my
grandfather
used to say,
948
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:53,241
which is that
sometimes the hand
that jumps out of the grave
949
00:45:53,317 --> 00:45:54,842
and grabs you
around the throat,
950
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,320
that is the hand that
you want on the wheel.
951
00:45:57,388 --> 00:45:59,448
You took the deal.
Yeah. It was a great deal.
952
00:45:59,523 --> 00:46:00,786
That's not okay.
953
00:46:00,858 --> 00:46:02,884
I don't know,
Dwight seems like
a great leader to me,
954
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,328
and I look forward to
the personal perks that
he promised me privately.
955
00:46:06,397 --> 00:46:07,626
What do you think, Toby?
956
00:46:07,698 --> 00:46:09,291
Well, we could try him
out for a little while,
957
00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:13,805
and if it doesn't work out,
you know, maybe one of us
could, you know, step in.
958
00:46:14,505 --> 00:46:16,133
What is happening
right now?
959
00:46:18,676 --> 00:46:21,077
Is it true that you're
making Dwight the manager?
960
00:46:21,145 --> 00:46:22,511
No. Why would
you think that?
961
00:46:22,580 --> 00:46:24,879
Well, he and Kelly said,
then they pre-fired me.
962
00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:25,939
Okay.
963
00:46:29,253 --> 00:46:31,984
Okay, guys, just so you
all know, no decision
has been made.
964
00:46:32,056 --> 00:46:34,423
And Dwight is definitely
not the boss.
965
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:37,326
That is correct actually,
Dwight is not the manager yet.
966
00:46:37,395 --> 00:46:39,796
No, no, no, not ever,
'cause that's not
gonna happen.
967
00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:41,765
Well, it's not
entirely up to
you, is it?
968
00:46:41,832 --> 00:46:44,495
Seems to me like someone
is getting a little
power mad.
969
00:46:44,568 --> 00:46:47,231
Am I the only one
who remembers what he
did when he was in charge?
970
00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:48,796
I feel like I'm going
a little bit crazy.
971
00:46:48,873 --> 00:46:51,775
Tuna, you're completely sane.
Thank you.
972
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:53,342
Who do you like
for the job?
973
00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:56,443
Is there anyone
who maybe was a little
underwhelming at first
974
00:46:56,514 --> 00:47:01,179
but now seems like a safe,
if not slightly unexciting,
choice?
975
00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:04,653
Okay. It seems like everybody
has an opinion, so who else?
976
00:47:04,722 --> 00:47:06,156
Anybody?
Do you mean it?
977
00:47:06,223 --> 00:47:08,419
Anybody? Are you sure?
978
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:09,926
I suppose I am.
979
00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:13,522
Okay. Well, what do
I want in a manager?
980
00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:15,895
Let me see.
981
00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:19,760
What do I want?
982
00:47:20,471 --> 00:47:21,598
I don't think he meant...
983
00:47:21,739 --> 00:47:24,573
Hey, so now anyone
gets to talk at any time?
984
00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:25,803
Go ahead.
985
00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:28,872
What do I want?
986
00:47:30,748 --> 00:47:34,344
I'm looking for
someone who...
987
00:47:36,721 --> 00:47:39,156
Everyone is listening to me.
988
00:47:40,124 --> 00:47:41,353
Can I say...
JIM: Yes.
989
00:47:41,425 --> 00:47:42,654
I think it should be Darryl.
990
00:47:42,727 --> 00:47:44,093
JIM: Okay.
What a surprise.
991
00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:45,686
Minorities sticking together.
992
00:47:45,763 --> 00:47:47,129
Kelly's on your side.
993
00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:49,827
I'm sorry, is that all
you think of me?
A minority?
994
00:47:49,900 --> 00:47:54,668
I am so much more than that.
I am a dancer. I'm a singer.
I'm a fashion designer.
995
00:47:54,739 --> 00:47:57,004
Whoever it is, I think
they should be lame.
996
00:47:57,842 --> 00:48:01,540
Kind of
a non-threatening,
moderate personality.
997
00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:03,576
I want an outsider.
Perfect.
998
00:48:03,647 --> 00:48:05,843
There are several
outside candidates
that we think would be...
999
00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:07,213
No, I mean an outsider.
1000
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:09,584
Like someone on
the margins of society
1001
00:48:09,653 --> 00:48:12,248
who doesn't see
things the way we do,
like a homeless person.
1002
00:48:12,390 --> 00:48:14,018
A homeless person. Really?
1003
00:48:15,025 --> 00:48:16,323
A homeless person.
1004
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,022
No. You're right, Pam.
Let's just leave them
1005
00:48:18,095 --> 00:48:19,825
to the welfare system
and let that handle it.
1006
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:21,798
No, I want you to
say that you think
1007
00:48:21,866 --> 00:48:25,132
the best person to be
our new manager is
a homeless person.
1008
00:48:25,202 --> 00:48:26,568
Let me guess
who you want, Pam.
1009
00:48:26,637 --> 00:48:29,106
Rachael Ray?
The ladies of The View?
1010
00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:33,109
I got away
with everything
under the last boss,
1011
00:48:33,177 --> 00:48:35,078
and it wasn't
good for me at all.
1012
00:48:35,146 --> 00:48:38,139
So I want guidance.
I want leadership.
1013
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:41,609
But don't just, like,
boss me around,
you know?
1014
00:48:41,685 --> 00:48:42,880
Like, lead me.
1015
00:48:42,987 --> 00:48:48,016
Lead me when
I'm in the mood to be led.
1016
00:48:48,359 --> 00:48:49,987
I just want, for once,
1017
00:48:50,094 --> 00:48:53,963
a smart,
professional, decisive,
well-hung man in his 40s.
1018
00:48:54,031 --> 00:48:55,932
Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, fine.
1019
00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:58,725
Uh, the guy with
the tiny penis.
1020
00:48:58,803 --> 00:49:01,363
Are you happy?
Let's hire that guy!
1021
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:03,203
She may have a point there.
1022
00:49:03,574 --> 00:49:05,975
Would a small penis work?
1023
00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:08,311
Small to moderate.
1024
00:49:08,379 --> 00:49:09,642
Gotta catch a plane.
1025
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:11,840
Hey, Gabe, I'm sorry.
1026
00:49:11,916 --> 00:49:13,646
We didn't get you
a cake or anything.
1027
00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:14,741
We're gonna miss you.
1028
00:49:14,819 --> 00:49:17,254
Well, I'm still the
corporate liaison
to the branch.
1029
00:49:17,321 --> 00:49:20,018
You are not leaving
without giving me
a hug.
1030
00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:22,349
Ugh.
1031
00:49:22,426 --> 00:49:24,258
Okay, you know what?
You don't need to
make that sound.
1032
00:49:24,328 --> 00:49:26,888
I'm sorry. You were just a lot
bonier than I thought you
were gonna be!
1033
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:28,626
There are plenty of people
who love touching me.
1034
00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:30,295
I'm a terrific hugger.
1035
00:49:30,935 --> 00:49:31,959
I've been with
a bunch of girls
1036
00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:33,766
where that's basically
all they wanna do.
1037
00:49:34,271 --> 00:49:35,671
I will see you all soon.
Later, man.
1038
00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:36,900
We'll miss you.
Good luck.
1039
00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:38,237
RYAN: Good luck
at your new job.
1040
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,572
Take care, man.
DWIGHT: Gonna miss you, Gabe.
1041
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:42,340
Listen up.
Listen up, ladies.
1042
00:49:43,614 --> 00:49:44,912
I want the job.
1043
00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:47,482
There. I said it.
1044
00:49:48,085 --> 00:49:51,112
I'm educated, I'm capable,
I like all of you,
1045
00:49:51,288 --> 00:49:54,156
and I won't
make any changes.
1046
00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:56,086
I see it.
1047
00:49:56,627 --> 00:50:01,065
I see it like I see a mountain
that I'm standing in front of
and facing and I'm liking.
1048
00:50:01,398 --> 00:50:02,422
PHYLLIS: Yeah. Yeah.
1049
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,662
Andy would be
wonderful as boss.
1050
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:06,167
Erin made a good point.
1051
00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:10,070
No. We're not related.
I got the call.
1052
00:50:11,709 --> 00:50:13,439
But I'll tell her
some other day.
1053
00:50:14,812 --> 00:50:16,178
Okay, what's going on?
1054
00:50:16,647 --> 00:50:19,173
I thought
I told you guys to
expand the company.
1055
00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:23,454
It looks
exactly the same.
I'm very disappointed.
1056
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,956
Jordana, get me
Jo on the phone.
1057
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,456
Okay, nobody say anything.
1058
00:50:38,335 --> 00:50:41,430
Hey, Creed, this is Jo.
No, don't say another word.
1059
00:50:41,505 --> 00:50:44,998
I need you to take
a nap right now. Yes.
1060
00:50:45,743 --> 00:50:49,544
I want to talk
to you in your dream.
Lay down and put the phone...
1061
00:50:50,347 --> 00:50:54,978
Great. Very good.
Okay, you gonna
go to sleep.
1062
00:50:55,653 --> 00:50:56,985
Okay, I think we have
about 40 minutes.
1063
00:50:57,855 --> 00:50:58,845
What about Darryl?
1064
00:50:59,823 --> 00:51:01,951
We can all agree that
he's a standup guy, right?
1065
00:51:02,026 --> 00:51:05,224
Very nice, laid back.
Overall, just a good guy.
1066
00:51:05,296 --> 00:51:08,164
What if he brings some of
those warehouse types
up here?
1067
00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:09,598
They're not carnies.
1068
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:10,995
MEREDITH: Can we see
a birth certificate?
1069
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,663
I mean, how do we know
he wasn't born in
Mubajuba or something?
1070
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,035
What difference
would that make?
1071
00:51:15,105 --> 00:51:18,371
I'm just saying American
jobs should go to Americans.
1072
00:51:18,509 --> 00:51:19,499
(SPITTING)
1073
00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:23,409
Meredith, you can't
just spit in the office.
1074
00:51:24,348 --> 00:51:25,680
Okay, I went too far.
1075
00:51:26,517 --> 00:51:27,507
Angela.
1076
00:51:27,685 --> 00:51:30,018
Well, let me be clear.
I only speak for myself,
1077
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:32,113
and not myself
and the Senator.
1078
00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:34,519
I think we have some
wonderful candidates,
1079
00:51:34,592 --> 00:51:36,891
and there is a great
lively debate here.
1080
00:51:37,027 --> 00:51:38,723
But let's think about...
No. No.
1081
00:51:38,796 --> 00:51:41,391
No. Sorry.
We cut Kevin off
for the same thing.
1082
00:51:41,465 --> 00:51:43,593
You have to
have something
to say if you talk.
1083
00:51:43,667 --> 00:51:44,828
Exactly.
1084
00:51:44,902 --> 00:51:46,837
Jada. No,
no, no. Jada,
what are you...
1085
00:51:47,838 --> 00:51:49,807
Oh. So sorry, guys.
1086
00:51:49,873 --> 00:51:52,342
I hope my family
didn't disrupt
your meeting.
1087
00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:56,047
Daddy, are these the people
who are making you manager?
(EXHALES)
1088
00:51:56,113 --> 00:51:58,207
Maybe, sweetheart.
(EXHALES)
1089
00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:00,308
Single dad. Challenges.
1090
00:52:01,185 --> 00:52:03,450
JADA: I don't know if
he'd be a good manager,
1091
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,954
but he's
a really great dad.
1092
00:52:05,055 --> 00:52:07,581
Okay. This was
a mistake. Let's go.
1093
00:52:08,559 --> 00:52:11,529
It seems like we
all know enough to vote.
Should we just vote now?
1094
00:52:11,595 --> 00:52:12,824
What?
No, no, no.
It's not a vote.
1095
00:52:12,896 --> 00:52:14,956
Then what was this all about?
I don't know.
1096
00:52:15,032 --> 00:52:16,898
This conversation
really got away from me.
1097
00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:18,492
I don't care.
They can just vote.
1098
00:52:18,569 --> 00:52:19,867
No, they can't.
1099
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:21,700
That's not how
this is gonna work.
1100
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,765
(EXHALES)
We're going in this room.
We're gonna have a meeting.
1101
00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:26,174
We're gonna make
a recommendation to Jo,
1102
00:52:26,243 --> 00:52:29,213
and she's gonna give you
her recommendation on
Monday, okay?
1103
00:52:29,580 --> 00:52:31,014
What the hell
happened out there?
1104
00:52:35,586 --> 00:52:38,522
Sometimes you hear people
talking about failing upwards.
1105
00:52:39,923 --> 00:52:41,323
I think I'm about to do that.
1106
00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:44,621
This job?
Oh, yeah, I'll get it.
1107
00:52:45,429 --> 00:52:46,897
Jo's an old friend.
1108
00:52:47,398 --> 00:52:50,163
I think
I'm her best friend.
1109
00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:51,900
She's not
my best friend.
1110
00:52:52,236 --> 00:52:54,068
Every day, I have
a blueberry muffin.
1111
00:52:54,371 --> 00:52:56,567
Today I did not have
a blueberry muffin.
1112
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,067
Should have had
the blueberry muffin.
1113
00:52:59,443 --> 00:53:02,811
Especially considering how
incredibly superstitious
I am.
1114
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:05,213
No. I've never
been more sure of
anything in my life.
1115
00:53:05,883 --> 00:53:07,875
I will be
the new boss of...
1116
00:53:09,753 --> 00:53:11,244
Vance Refrigeration.
1117
00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:15,354
Honestly, I think
I sabotaged myself.
1118
00:53:15,459 --> 00:53:17,724
It's like I'm
afraid of being happy.
1119
00:53:18,762 --> 00:53:20,060
Case in point,
1120
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,193
I was supposed to
start another job today.
1121
00:53:23,467 --> 00:53:25,231
I will get offered the job.
1122
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:29,029
That's a call I've
received many times.
1123
00:53:29,106 --> 00:53:33,202
The slight hopefulness
in their voice,
the pregnant pause
1124
00:53:33,277 --> 00:53:36,338
while they wait
to hear my response.
1125
00:53:36,647 --> 00:53:39,583
And then my response.
1126
00:53:41,151 --> 00:53:43,484
I want the job.
I really do.
1127
00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:46,486
It's just the rest
of my family's in the
Finger Lakes right now.
1128
00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:49,159
I'm supposed to be in
the Finger Lakes
right now.
1129
00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:53,095
I told them I was on a hike,
snuck away to do this
interview.
1130
00:53:53,597 --> 00:53:55,566
I gotta get back pretty soon.
They'll worry.
1131
00:53:55,866 --> 00:53:57,926
People disappear
in the Finger Lakes.
1132
00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:03,701
I will run this branch or
I will destroy this branch.
1133
00:54:05,442 --> 00:54:09,004
Or, I don't know.
Something always
works out.
1134
00:54:14,184 --> 00:54:17,814
You remind me so much
of my fourth biggest client.
1135
00:54:17,888 --> 00:54:19,254
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Is that right?
1136
00:54:19,323 --> 00:54:20,552
I think
you two should meet.
1137
00:54:20,858 --> 00:54:21,848
Well, okay...
1138
00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:25,828
Hey, Jordana, patch
my ninth and my fourth
biggest client together.
1139
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:31,259
(IN MAN'S VOICE) Hello?
1140
00:54:31,401 --> 00:54:32,460
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Hello!
1141
00:54:32,736 --> 00:54:34,068
(IN MAN'S VOICE)
Hi, how are you?
1142
00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:35,536
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Oh, I'm good!
1143
00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:39,043
Don't you just love paper
and things about paper?
1144
00:54:39,676 --> 00:54:41,076
(IN MAN'S VOICE)
Hey, are you single?
1145
00:54:41,145 --> 00:54:43,011
This seems like
a love connection to me!
1146
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,104
It's kismet.
1147
00:54:44,581 --> 00:54:46,743
Personally, I think
Darryl would be good.
1148
00:54:46,884 --> 00:54:50,377
It has to be Darryl,
or someone I don't know.
1149
00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:52,150
I thought the woman
who came in,
1150
00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:54,123
she seemed like
she had a fun energy.
1151
00:54:54,191 --> 00:54:57,559
I'm not a sexist.
I just really don't
want it to be a woman.
1152
00:54:58,529 --> 00:55:02,125
I just feel that
women are generally
less competent than men
1153
00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:03,861
and less rational.
1154
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:05,732
Again, I'm not a sexist.
1155
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:10,968
Even Andy...
They need to pick someone.
1156
00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:14,468
Just someone. Fast.