1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,505 Kahlua sombrero, please. 2 00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:04,881 All right. So just you tonight? 3 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:08,092 Actually, I'm meeting somebody, but I'm a little bit early. 4 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,971 Leaving my company after 19 years. 5 00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:13,431 I'll drink to that. 6 00:00:14,474 --> 00:00:15,850 I'm starting at a company this week. 7 00:00:15,934 --> 00:00:17,268 Oh, really? 8 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,728 To beginnings and endings. 9 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:22,982 And to middles. The unsung heroes. And to moms. 10 00:00:23,525 --> 00:00:24,609 The moms of the troops. 11 00:00:24,776 --> 00:00:25,818 Mmm. 12 00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:28,780 Do not tell my fiancée I'm drinking on a Wednesday. 13 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,490 I won't. 14 00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,367 I don't know her. 15 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,535 Moving out to the 'burbs. 16 00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:36,079 Actually, I'm moving further than the 'burbs. Moving to Colorado. 17 00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,205 Colorado? Yeah. 18 00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:38,831 Sunshine State. Yep. 19 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:39,916 Don't mess with Colorado. 20 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,000 No, don't. 21 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,502 Doing some skiing? 22 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:44,712 No, no. I don't want to end up like Sonny Bobo. 23 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:48,007 Well, that's just good sense right there, yeah. 24 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,677 Everyone I know who skis is dead. 25 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,097 You know what? I would like to try the luge, though. 26 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,224 Try it once, you're hooked. 27 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,184 That's my guess. That's what I've heard. 28 00:00:58,268 --> 00:00:59,477 I'm an Olympics nut. 29 00:00:59,561 --> 00:01:01,688 Oh, yeah? Me, too. Summer or winter? 30 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,107 Summer. Summer. 31 00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:06,359 Knuckle. Actually, 32 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:08,570 I've got to come around and give you. . . Yeah, come on. 33 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:11,406 You know, it's funny. I actually tried 34 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,575 to get an animal Olympics going. 35 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,159 Really? What happened? 36 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,829 You know, life happened. 37 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,039 What are you gonna miss most about Scranton? 38 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:24,335 Oh. Wow. The mountains, where things are. Mmm-hmm. 39 00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:26,879 That's the way it goes. 40 00:01:27,005 --> 00:01:29,299 Man, he is late. 41 00:01:29,382 --> 00:01:30,800 I'm gonna call him. Do you mind? I'm sorry. 42 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,260 No, no. 43 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,012 Where is this guy? 44 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,267 Excuse me. 45 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,438 Hello? This is Michael Scott. 46 00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:45,189 Yes, hi. Yes. 47 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,316 You running late? 48 00:01:46,399 --> 00:01:49,027 No, I'm here. I'm at the bar. 49 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,111 I'm at the bar, too. 50 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,155 You are? What bar? 51 00:01:52,739 --> 00:01:57,702 I'm at the bar, the bar that's located in the lobby of the hotel. 52 00:01:57,994 --> 00:01:59,037 I do not see you. 53 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,121 How long have you... 54 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,291 I've been here about, gosh, over half an hour. 55 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,626 Okay, yeah, me, too. 56 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:06,753 Sorry. Sorry. 57 00:02:06,878 --> 00:02:07,920 What are you wearing? 58 00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:10,548 I'm wearing a gray suit, red tie. 59 00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:12,550 Are we both at the right place? 60 00:02:13,885 --> 00:02:15,011 Which place would... 61 00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:16,179 I hear your voice. 62 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:17,680 I hear your... I see your lips moving. 63 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:19,057 I hear your voice 64 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:23,311 in the phone. And that's... Man! And... Oh, brother. 65 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,230 Michael Scott. 66 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,315 Deangelo Vickers. 67 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,650 Wow. 68 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,652 That is insane. 69 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:33,529 "That is insane" is right. That's the right term. 70 00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:36,366 Bartender, let's get some vodka up in this cranberry 71 00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:37,825 and one for my friend. 72 00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:41,371 I have heard that it is impossible to become addicted to vodka. 73 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:44,624 That is true. That is true. Vodka is non-addictive. 74 00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:48,378 Most of the higher spirits are undetectable. 75 00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:49,754 It's because of the potato. 76 00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:51,339 One, two, three. ...two, three. 77 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:52,965 To new friends. 78 00:02:54,384 --> 00:02:55,343 Wow. 79 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:56,511 Wow. Wow. 80 00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,597 This is gonna take hours. 81 00:03:01,099 --> 00:03:02,183 Are her breasts different? 82 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,226 No panties on this one. 83 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,519 Okay, good. Good. 84 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,729 And I think the sail was folded differently. 85 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,648 Oh! No. No, it's good. That's okay. That's okay. 86 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:09,691 It's all good. 87 00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,860 On this one, I think she's like, "Get lost," 88 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:14,654 but on this one, I think I have a chance. 89 00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:15,738 No. Okay. 90 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:17,198 Now, I still think the sail is different. 91 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,533 Come on. 92 00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:19,659 Hey, I think this is broken. 93 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,120 Wanna play again? Definitely! 94 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,788 That right there... 95 00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:25,164 You want to try this. Trust me. 96 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,290 Really? Trust me. 97 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,459 You want to try this. 98 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,669 Mmm! 99 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,629 Are you kidding me? Mmm-hmm! 100 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,674 Because one day, they say that blueberries prevent cancer, 101 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,093 and then the next day, they say that blueberries cause cancer. 102 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,886 That's totally true. 103 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:42,807 You know what would be a great Onion headline? "Cancer prevents cancer." 104 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,024 That's so Onion. I know! 105 00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:54,819 It's so you, but it's also so Onion. 106 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,197 Here we go. Ready? 107 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,323 I am ready. 108 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,575 All right, here we go. 109 00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:06,164 Well, this is it. What do you think? 110 00:04:07,749 --> 00:04:11,085 She'll do. Oh, she'll do just fine. 111 00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:16,799 I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. It is... 112 00:04:17,884 --> 00:04:19,927 It feels like the culmination of a lot of hard work, 113 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:21,971 a lot of good fortune and... 114 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,517 Hey, come on. Did that. . . Did that just happen? 115 00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:30,480 We should write a movie or something. I'm serious. 116 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,548 Rise and shine. Coffee time. 117 00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,383 There you go. 118 00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:04,972 Do not talk to me until I have had my coffee. 119 00:05:05,515 --> 00:05:09,435 Until I've had my coffee, do not talk to me. 120 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,732 Mmm. 121 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,444 Oh, I feel better. 122 00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:19,821 I feel awesome. 123 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,781 It does not agree with me, 124 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,450 coffee... No. 125 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:25,827 ...and yet, I have to have it. 126 00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:28,496 You know what? Coffee keeps me regular. 127 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,039 Yeah. 128 00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,001 That's the best time of the day. That's... That's... 129 00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,461 In that regard. Right, right, right. 130 00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:36,587 And it's the best time of the day. 131 00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:37,713 Right, right, right. 132 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,467 I give it about seven minutes. 133 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,636 Really. Yup. 134 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,179 Seven minutes from this. 135 00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:46,806 Beeline. 136 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:50,476 So at 8:37... 137 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:57,024 Michael is leaving. 138 00:05:57,108 --> 00:06:00,319 And apparently they already hired a new manager. 139 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:03,614 And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process. 140 00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:06,576 Paperwork-wise. 141 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:15,960 Nope, it's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone. 142 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,171 Equally handsome, equally smart. 143 00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:22,633 - Good morning. - Good morning. 144 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,971 Good morning. Good morning, to you. 145 00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,518 What's this? 146 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,146 Oh, nothing. That is just a screenplay. 147 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:39,483 The Adventure Pals by Deangelo Vickers and Michael Scott. 148 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,320 Oh, my gosh, it's 150 pages long. 149 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,406 Okay, everyone, as you know, 150 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:49,327 one of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake. 151 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:51,621 So without further ado, 152 00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:53,706 let's all start clapping. 153 00:06:56,918 --> 00:07:01,005 Presenting Deangelo Vickers! 154 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,800 Hi. Hello. 155 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,511 Come on out! 156 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,974 Hello. Hey. How are you, sir? 157 00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:13,434 I'm well, sir, how are you? 158 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:16,520 Uh, can I just say I am so excited to be working here. 159 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:20,024 We couldn't be more excited about having you here. Welcome. 160 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:24,278 Little bit about myself, I love the American southwest, for starters. 161 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:28,074 You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. 162 00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:29,450 I call them heaven. 163 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,453 I have a peanut allergy, something I live with. 164 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,580 It's a part of me. I've learned to cope with it. 165 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:38,042 I was a nationally ranked high jumper in high school. 166 00:07:38,376 --> 00:07:39,585 Really? Yeah. 167 00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:40,628 I didn't know that. 168 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,630 Couldn't do it in college for academic reasons, 169 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,924 and that's something that still bugs me. 170 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:50,388 What else? I'm just as comfortable at a ball game as I am at the opera. 171 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,306 I was a... 172 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,309 Did I want to be made manager? Sure. 173 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:57,895 A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely. 174 00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:00,648 A crushing blow? Yes. 175 00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:03,150 Will I get over it? 176 00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:04,276 Mmm... 177 00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:06,612 No. 178 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:09,407 But life goes on. Not for me. 179 00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:12,076 I think with a little hard work, 180 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:16,038 we can become the greatest office in the world. 181 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:20,501 And I truly believe that, that's not an understatement. Okay? 182 00:08:21,252 --> 00:08:22,253 Right? 183 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,880 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Okay. 184 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,091 That's about it. That's about it? 185 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,384 Yeah. There's so much more. 186 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,970 No. This guy is being so modest, 187 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:34,181 there's a lot more to him than what he just said. 188 00:08:34,265 --> 00:08:38,102 We can't wait to learn it all, right, guys? Again, welcome. 189 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,355 Fantastic. Thank you so much. 190 00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:43,232 Sir? Yes. 191 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,317 Thank you very much. 192 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,029 So we talked for like 20 minutes, 193 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,823 no clue it's Deangelo the whole time. 194 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,283 It's kind of embarrassing. 195 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492 No, no. 196 00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,786 Yeah, that story makes you sound stupid. 197 00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:59,915 I happen to like the hilarious high jinks that I get myself into. 198 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,542 There he is, there he is. 199 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:05,254 Deangelo, I was just telling them about last night when we met. 200 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,506 Remember that? 201 00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:09,550 That was crazy. That was crazy. 202 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,094 Let's see, where's my replacement? 203 00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:14,889 Where's the guy I'm replacing? I don't know. 204 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,891 Why don't I look to my left? I know. 205 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,434 He's sitting right there. I know. 206 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:22,354 Well, that's what I was just saying. That's... 207 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,275 That exact situation is why I always carry around a couple of these. 208 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,735 Just in case, 'cause, you know, 209 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,070 sometimes you need to ID yourself. 210 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:31,947 Office funny guy. 211 00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:34,867 Always glad to have an office funny guy around. 212 00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:36,994 I wasn't even trying to make a joke. 213 00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:42,541 I guess I've always been sort of quirky, offbeat, a little twisted. 214 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:47,213 This is Jim and Pam, a. k.a. Jap. 215 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:51,175 What started as an affair has blossomed into a family before our eyes. 216 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,094 Well, it wasn't... It wasn't an affair. Yes, it was. 217 00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,804 But, no, but we are a family. 218 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:56,138 We made that. 219 00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:57,473 - Cecelia. - Oh! 220 00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:59,892 Congratulations. Thank you. 221 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,018 I have four kids of my own. 222 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:02,144 Really? Yeah. 223 00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:06,190 Oh, my gosh, well, we just have the one, but she poops for four. 224 00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:07,483 Uh-oh. 225 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,569 Someone started off on a good foot with the new boss. 226 00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:13,114 Yeah, they don't ever talk about careers that were made 227 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:16,075 because of unplanned pregnancies. So... 228 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:20,079 Meredith has shown me her breasts on three separate occasions. 229 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,039 Really? There's Dwight. Dwight! 230 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,334 Best right-hand man in the business, but you better buy a taser 231 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,585 to keep him from wiping you butt. 232 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,213 Hey, Dwight. You had something to say to Deangelo? 233 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,759 "Welcome, new manager of Dunder Mifflin. 234 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,972 "I am Dwight K. Schrute, I am assistant regional manager. 235 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:40,558 "I will be at your beck and call, night and day. 236 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:45,062 "Consider me an extension of your own hand. I serve at your pleasure. 237 00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:48,899 "Congratulations on joining the staff here. 238 00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,734 "This truly is a great day." 239 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:52,611 The end. 240 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,738 Very nice. Thank you. 241 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,407 I brought you some cookies. 242 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,159 Oh, Dwight's home baked cookies. Really, you didn't have to. 243 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,827 These are the best. Lemon bars or the coconut ones? 244 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,453 I got these at the store. 245 00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:05,124 Apparently it's one of the most popular brands in the United States. 246 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,751 Enjoy. Chips Ahoy! 247 00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:09,003 Okay. 248 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:14,008 Maybe he ran out of yeast, I don't know. 249 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,636 Maybe syrup? No, not... Well, maybe syrup. I don't know. 250 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,638 But didn't... Oh, sure, sure. You can use syrup. 251 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,016 That apple looks delish. 252 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:23,767 I do a lot of portion control. 253 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,437 Try to keep my daily caloric intake under 1,200. 254 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,772 Deangelo, you're going to starve to death. 255 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,692 So you decided to have an orgy and not invite me? 256 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,235 Come on. I call middle. 257 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,989 That's cool that you like the southwest. 258 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,866 It's one of my favorite regions. 259 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:42,953 "It's one of my favorite regions." Did I just sound totally lame? 260 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:44,955 Oh. 261 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,333 I sounded good. 262 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,920 I love the desert. It's one of my favorite ecosystems. 263 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:53,172 Here's the great thing about the southwest, 264 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,925 there is so much more than desert. 265 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:58,135 Along the north rim of the Grand Canyon 266 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,471 is a forest as lush as you've ever seen. 267 00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:02,681 Burned. It's lush, dummy. 268 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:06,310 Hey, Deangelo, what do you think about bald people? 269 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:08,812 I hate them. 270 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,398 Deangelo, I forget, did you mention you liked politics? 271 00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:12,441 I did not. 272 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,610 Because I was thinking, you should meet my boyfriend. 273 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:15,945 He's a state senator. 274 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:19,406 I really think the two of you would hit it off. He's a great person to know. 275 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,325 Sounds very interesting, thank you. 276 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,660 Mmm-hmm. 277 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:24,620 Psst. Thanks for meeting me. 278 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,704 Are you kidding? 279 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,581 I would come anywhere to see a turtle. Yeah. 280 00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:28,749 Where'd you find him? 281 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,252 There's no turtle, Michael. I just wanted to get you here. 282 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,255 You know me very well, Dwight. 283 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:36,548 That's because I'm your right-hand man, Michael. 284 00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,425 But I can't do it. I can't do it again. 285 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:40,302 I can't be a right-hand man to a whole new guy. 286 00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:43,013 Now, I'm gonna have to go online and look at turtles 287 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,431 or else I'm gonna be off the whole day. 288 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,642 I want to be manager. 289 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,270 I have been Robin to your Batman for 11 years, 290 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,355 11 glorious years, Michael. 291 00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:54,692 But at a certain point, Robin needs to become Batman. 292 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,611 Batman scares me, Dwight. Let's not talk about Batman. 293 00:12:57,695 --> 00:13:00,781 Yeah, well, you know what? Bats scared Bruce Wayne, too. 294 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,617 That's why he became Batman. Ha! 295 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:08,622 What are you thinking? 296 00:13:08,706 --> 00:13:09,707 Nothing. 297 00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:11,166 Is there a Turtle Man? 298 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,501 No, Michael... 299 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:16,880 I just don't understand why I wasn't even interviewed for the job. 300 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,299 I mean, what's wrong? 301 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:21,302 I'm totally qualified. You were pushing for me. 302 00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:24,221 I didn't know Dwight wanted to be manager. 303 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,145 Deangelo. You'll get a kick out of this. 304 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,646 Do you know those old school blocks, 305 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:34,773 the wooden blocks for kids? Mmm-hmm. 306 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,526 Oh, my gosh, yes. Oh, yeah. The block story. This is great. 307 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:38,610 Right. Okay, go ahead. 308 00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:40,446 So, the blocks with the letters on. . . With the letters. 309 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:41,488 Yes, right, okay. Yeah sure, sure, sure. 310 00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,032 So we give a set of those to Cece 311 00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:44,575 and we turn around for, like, a second... 312 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,659 A second. A second. 313 00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:50,497 And we turn back, and she has spelled out the word "Ass" in the blocks. 314 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,292 So we're laughing, she's grinning... 315 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,793 It was so funny. 316 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:58,172 Kids are a riot. They really do say the darndest things. 317 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,802 Dunder Mifflin. This is Erin. Okay, let me transfer you. 318 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,139 Why do you use your name when you answer the phone? 319 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,350 Oh, that's how Pam does it. I just copy her. 320 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,435 She's sort of a living legend. 321 00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:14,188 Try it without using your name. 322 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,482 Dunder Mifflin. This is. 323 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,443 Oh, yeah, I like it. 324 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,987 Dunder Mifflin. How may I assist you? 325 00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:23,572 Oh. "Assist." 326 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:24,698 I sort of like the old way. 327 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,243 I just prefer it without the name. 328 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,204 And I thought... Okay. No, no, no. 329 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,164 I've got to start doing some managing at some point, right? 330 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,166 I know, I know. I'm sorry. But if it's not a big deal, 331 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,793 we should just do the old way. And it really isn't. 332 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,544 - Okay. That good? - Yeah, okay, good. 333 00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:39,546 Well, I'd like to change it, actually. 334 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,715 Well, you know, whatever... 335 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,425 Yeah. Whatever you think would work. 336 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,010 What do you... Yeah. 337 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,720 I think a change would be nice. 338 00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:50,474 You could do the old way or the, you know. . . Whichever one you want to do. 339 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:51,892 Mmm-hmm. 340 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:55,938 Change it. 341 00:15:06,407 --> 00:15:08,742 I'm so sorry. Sorry. 342 00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:15,165 Come on, you maggot. 343 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,167 Bye-bye, calories. 344 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,173 Don't stop, now. 345 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,509 No one's stopping me. 346 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,180 All right. Hey. Okay. 347 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,850 Wow! Look at you. 348 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:34,601 Don't hug me. 349 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,770 No! Get away, get away. 350 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,607 I see you've been introduced to our conference room. 351 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,443 Multi-function room, yeah. 352 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:46,321 So I was thinking that maybe I could show you around a little bit more? 353 00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,699 You could shadow me. Still a lot to learn, so... 354 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,536 Yeah, you know, I'm feeling like I'm ready to dive in. 355 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,205 Well, the water's pretty cold. A lot of octopuses out there. 356 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,959 Well, I've been taught by the best octopus hunter in the biz. 357 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,170 I haven't taught you everything. There's... 358 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:03,505 Pretty good teacher. I feel pretty prepared. Mmm... 359 00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:05,757 You know what? No teacher in the world 360 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,676 could teach this job in one day. 361 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,470 I think you just about did. 362 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,305 Well, I don't think I did, so why... 363 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,683 Wanna go? You'll shadow me? 364 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,896 Let me finish getting dressed. All right. 365 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:23,734 Oh, hey, Dwight. Before I forget, 366 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,320 I would love to know of any great restaurants in town 367 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,071 if you have any thoughts. 368 00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,699 I've got a list here that has pretty much every place in town. 369 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:31,909 Oh, great. 370 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:37,289 Just make sure you get that back to me. 371 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,006 I'll get that, you guys. Don't... 372 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,174 No, I'll help you. Here. 373 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,300 You know, it's just... 374 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,010 You know... 375 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,014 Hi. Hello. Hi. 376 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,725 Have we met before? 377 00:16:57,351 --> 00:17:00,103 No, not officially. I saw you coming out of the bathroom earlier. 378 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,524 Well, I guess I'm gonna go back to my cave. 379 00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,609 Okay. It was really great meeting you. 380 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:10,113 And that is what they call a meet cute. 381 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:19,122 Hey, funny guy. I have a little midday lull here. 382 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:21,500 Make me laugh. Huh? What do you got? 383 00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,001 I can't even look at you. 384 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,127 Here we go. 385 00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:26,046 Okay... 386 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:31,802 What do African Americans call the... 387 00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:39,268 What? 388 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,561 Deangelo? Yeah? 389 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,645 Did you order a barber? 390 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,522 Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on back here. 391 00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,400 Put a pin on that, okay? I can't wait to hear the punch line. 392 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:48,944 Finish the joke, Andy. 393 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,446 What do African Americans call? 394 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,490 I don't know. Help me. 395 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,952 That is so bad-ass. 396 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,663 Just so hardcore. 397 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,373 Yeah, very cool. 398 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,666 Real power move. Yeah. 399 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,088 I saw a hawk today. 400 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:10,382 It was just sitting right there 401 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,135 on the overpass, looking at me. 402 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,764 Shave me. 403 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,562 Well, this is going to be funny. 404 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,689 Because it looks like we're gonna be shaving buddies. 405 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:29,026 Okay, all right. I love it. I love it. 406 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,944 Michael, this is Reggie. Hello. 407 00:18:31,028 --> 00:18:32,613 He is the number one 408 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,948 Yelp-reviewed shaver in Scranton. It's not even close. 409 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:38,577 And this is Erin, and she's going to shave my face. 410 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,037 Here we go. 411 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,836 All right. 412 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,964 This is how we do it. 413 00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:52,174 Mmm. 414 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,258 Feels nice, doesn't it? 415 00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:54,676 It really does. 416 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,389 This is luxury. Here we go. 417 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:05,312 Okay. Okay. 418 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,105 Oh, that is nice. 419 00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:09,149 You wanted to talk to us, Deangelo? 420 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,860 Oh, yes, yes, please. Cozy up there. 421 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,571 I just thought we could have some rap sessions with smaller groups. 422 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,949 You know, we don't really do rap sessions, we kind of do... God! 423 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,161 We sort of do more of like powwows and what-ups. 424 00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871 Okay, well, powwows, then. Fine. 425 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,206 That's... 426 00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:27,250 Hey, Deangelo, my mom just sent me this picture of Cece. 427 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,377 It is so adorable. 428 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,045 All right, wait, but a little bit of back story. 429 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,505 She loves dogs, she calls them dadas... 430 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:32,673 Dadas. 431 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,299 ...and what happens is... You know what? 432 00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:36,593 Enough about your baby, okay? 433 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:38,804 I'm sorry. 434 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,514 Well, we were just... I think she was just trying to... 435 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:43,642 No, no, no, I know what you're doing. Just quit it. 436 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:48,188 I want to hear from the rank and file. 437 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:51,149 How can I be the best manager for you all? 438 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,901 You know, what can I do better? 439 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,820 Okay, you know what, everybody? 440 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,447 There's... You have to be honest here. 441 00:19:57,531 --> 00:20:01,410 You can't say that everything is perfect, right? 442 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,705 So, you know, come up with something. 443 00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:07,624 Well, Deangelo, I'd say communication could be improved. 444 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:10,210 People stopped reading memos. 445 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,712 So everyone marks them urgent. 446 00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,131 Okay, you know what? I mark it urgent "A," 447 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,508 urgent "B," urgent "C," urgent "D." 448 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,468 Urgent "A" is the most important, 449 00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:21,972 urgent "D" you don't even really have to worry about. 450 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,558 Okay, Michael, can you stop talking now? I have to do your lips. 451 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,476 Don't shave my lips. 452 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:28,979 How about you, Dwight? 453 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:34,568 Uh, yeah, I'm just right by your side, so... Yeah. 454 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:38,488 Personally, Deangelo, I just want to sit and see how you do things. 455 00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:39,740 I'm really excited. 456 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:42,617 There must be something you'd like to see, specifically, improved. 457 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,704 I do think that there is a web of racism and/or jealousy 458 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,789 that is trying to keep me down. 459 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,084 Okay. Well, this has been very helpful. 460 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,587 This is a great start. Props to you. 461 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,008 Deangelo's great. I love the guy. 462 00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:01,344 But I'm not sure he's a good fit for the office. 463 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:04,598 And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy. 464 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,475 Did we just totally blow it? 465 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:10,729 I don't know. I mean, I get that talking about your kid can be annoying. 466 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:13,982 You know, everybody thinks their kid is the cutest in the world. 467 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,776 Cece really is. Right? 468 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,360 Yeah. 469 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,156 We just got to get her in here. 470 00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:24,826 What's up? 471 00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,745 I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but... 472 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:31,166 I wrote the perfect joke. Topical, edgy, funny. 473 00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:35,962 I saw this thing in the news. Democrats want electric cars. 474 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,881 Republicans don't. Right. 475 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,966 I'm thinking, how crazy is it 476 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,929 that we got a car debate going on in a city known for gridlock. 477 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:47,933 Um... Let's not talk politics in the office, okay? 478 00:21:49,226 --> 00:21:50,560 I like you better as the funny guy. 479 00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:53,688 I wasn't taking a position. It was just sort of one of those things. 480 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:06,159 Now that's funny. That's funny. 481 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:07,619 You walk much? 482 00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:09,788 Yeah, right? I mean... 483 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,294 A little click. Mmm-hmm. 484 00:22:18,839 --> 00:22:20,173 Deangelo, this box came for you. 485 00:22:20,257 --> 00:22:21,383 Great, thank you. 486 00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:24,594 That's my stuff. Yeah. 487 00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:26,721 Michael, take a look at this. 488 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:28,640 Need a hand? Oh, that'd be great. Thank you. 489 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,016 Hey, you know what? This office sort of 490 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,477 has a perfect fung shooey to it, and... 491 00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:36,940 You know, let's not go overboard with the redecorating. 492 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,650 And I'm still here, so... Wow. 493 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:39,818 Right? Ooh. 494 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:40,902 That's nice. 495 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,280 I still have to look at this stuff, guys, so... 496 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,532 Oh, man. So this is a 10-gallon hat? 497 00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:47,200 Yeah, you like that? 10-gallon hat. 498 00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:49,786 Technically, it only holds about 3 quarts. 499 00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:51,788 A little factoid. Interesting. 500 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:54,708 No! No, I've always loved the southwest. 501 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,877 I got a lot of this stuff at home. 502 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,881 You know, turquoise and rocks. 503 00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:03,258 I need this job, man. 504 00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,303 I love this. I love change. 505 00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:08,430 Change is good, and you know what? 506 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:11,433 I think right now, I'm going to change this supermodel 507 00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:13,226 back into Kevin Malone. 508 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:14,853 Oh! There he is. 509 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,313 Oh, my God! 510 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:25,155 All right, this was just... It was just awful. 511 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,243 Thank you, Michael. You're welcome. That's better. 512 00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,498 Cool, cool. 513 00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,292 All right, see you later, girl. 514 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:38,543 Hey, hey, hey. 515 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,838 No, I'm good. Keep that. 516 00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:47,510 Hey, funny man. What you got for me? Make me laugh. 517 00:24:05,362 --> 00:24:08,740 Let's see if my favorite tea is in... 518 00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:10,200 Whoa! Jeez. 519 00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:28,093 That's hot coffee. 520 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:31,221 Drink some soap. 521 00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:34,140 Eat some hand soap. 522 00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:44,067 I guess this is my life now. 523 00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:46,987 Can you believe that? 524 00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,699 They're all treating him like he's some sort of god. 525 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:53,827 You know, they used to say that I was the world's best boss. 526 00:24:54,369 --> 00:24:55,954 Now you're a lame duck. 527 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:57,747 Yeah, well, you're a retarded owl. 528 00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:00,417 And Deangelo is a fat cow. 529 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:04,254 He has the same body type that you have. You're like body twins. 530 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,798 I guess I mean just from how he used to be. 531 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:08,425 What do you mean? 532 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:11,970 I have just come into the possession of a photograph 533 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:16,683 that is very embarrassing, and just may change the way 534 00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:19,769 you perceive a certain person in this office. 535 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,062 What is it? 536 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,857 It's a picture of a super fat guy. 537 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,275 Yes. 538 00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:26,693 I'll say. 539 00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:28,069 It's Deangelo. 540 00:25:28,153 --> 00:25:29,320 Yes, it is. 541 00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:34,325 This is a photograph taken of Deangelo Vickers. 542 00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,911 I just... I can't get that picture out of my head. 543 00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:41,833 This curly-haired idiot used to be so fat. 544 00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:46,713 It really is a shame that a person's weight, or their former weight, 545 00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,007 makes us think less of them. 546 00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:51,843 How do you let yourself go like that? 547 00:25:51,926 --> 00:25:52,886 I don't know. 548 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:56,514 I know, Michael. Right? Just jog in place 10 seconds a day. 549 00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:57,724 That's all it takes. 550 00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:58,975 I know. That's... 551 00:25:59,059 --> 00:26:01,144 I didn't have 10 seconds a day. 552 00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:03,980 I was too busy eating. 553 00:26:06,274 --> 00:26:08,068 That's okay. Pass it around. 554 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:10,862 Let everyone take a look. Creed, have you looked at it yet? 555 00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:12,405 Yes, but I'll gladly look again. 556 00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:16,659 I used to weigh 425 pounds. 557 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:19,621 I was unhappy and unhealthy. 558 00:26:19,704 --> 00:26:21,831 Used to go to tapas restaurants 559 00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:24,167 and gorge myself on Spanish charcuterie. 560 00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:26,711 I mean, let's be honest. 561 00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:29,839 Tapas is a cuisine for groups. Not with me. 562 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,633 Tapas party of one. 563 00:26:32,092 --> 00:26:35,261 Looks like you went over the tapas with food. 564 00:26:36,679 --> 00:26:39,599 One day, I had a long layover in Phoenix. 565 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:42,102 I thought I'd do some sightseeing and my car broke down in Sedona. 566 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:45,563 I found myself just wandering, delirious with hunger. 567 00:26:46,064 --> 00:26:49,943 And I swear to God, I felt an energy. 568 00:26:51,402 --> 00:26:55,615 I felt stronger than I'd ever felt before, like I could do anything. 569 00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,659 Keep in mind, I was naked. 570 00:26:57,742 --> 00:27:00,286 But in that moment, I felt like I could change, 571 00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:04,541 and I made a promise that I would lose 202 pounds within a year. 572 00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:07,752 I just... I can't get that image out of my head, of what you used to... 573 00:27:07,836 --> 00:27:09,671 Michael, stop, please. ...look like. It just... 574 00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:12,340 My friends, my new family, 575 00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:16,594 I stand here today... Guess how much weight I lost. 576 00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:18,471 Two hundred and two pounds? 577 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:23,601 203. I beat it by one. I beat it by one. 578 00:27:24,727 --> 00:27:26,062 Beat it by one. 579 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:30,150 And that is why I so firmly believe 580 00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:36,698 that this extraordinary group of people that I'm looking at 581 00:27:37,574 --> 00:27:39,951 has a chance, has an opportunity, 582 00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:42,453 to become the greatest office in the world. 583 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:46,457 Because we can change anything we want. I'm living proof. 584 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,084 You know what? He's right. 585 00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:53,047 If he can lose all that weight, then I can wear fake hair. 586 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,675 Thank for sharing, Deangelo. Amazing. 587 00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:56,843 Thank you. 588 00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:07,562 And thank me for bringing it up. 589 00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:12,233 How do I become a manager at Sabre? 590 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,319 Well, first things first, 591 00:28:14,402 --> 00:28:16,279 thank you for coming to me directly, you know. 592 00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:17,822 I know you could have called Tallahassee, 593 00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:19,824 but they would have just looped back to me. 594 00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:21,284 So it's cool you recognized my role here. 595 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,619 I left a message at corporate. 596 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:24,412 There you go. 597 00:28:24,996 --> 00:28:26,331 Get a recommendation from Michael. 598 00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:28,249 That'll put you right on the short list 599 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,626 for next time there's an opening. 600 00:28:29,918 --> 00:28:32,170 Can't you just use the recommendation you already have on file? 601 00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:34,172 What recommendation? 602 00:28:34,422 --> 00:28:36,299 From when he recommended me to replace him. 603 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:40,845 Um... 604 00:28:42,096 --> 00:28:44,349 I'm sorry. I never know how to act 605 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:46,643 in these awkward type situations. 606 00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:50,188 Best whale watching? Easily the West Coast. 607 00:28:50,271 --> 00:28:51,731 If you're gonna go whale watching on the East Coast, 608 00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:54,859 you might want to bring a magazine called West Coast Whales. 609 00:28:55,318 --> 00:28:57,153 Because you're not gonna see any. 610 00:28:57,278 --> 00:29:00,907 Snack time! It's the witching hour. It is the sandwiching hour. 611 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:02,075 Awesome. 612 00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:03,159 Hmm. What you got? 613 00:29:03,243 --> 00:29:05,078 PB and J . My mom's recipe. 614 00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:07,288 Michael, Deangelo has a peanut allergy. 615 00:29:07,372 --> 00:29:09,582 Okay, I need a wide berth. I need a wide berth from those nuts. 616 00:29:09,707 --> 00:29:11,709 Michael, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? 617 00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:14,170 I think Kevin wants one. Kevin, here you go. 618 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,090 Michael, this is serious. 619 00:29:17,173 --> 00:29:18,925 Do you know what happens if Deangelo touches a peanut? 620 00:29:19,008 --> 00:29:20,051 What? 621 00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:22,303 Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut, 622 00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:24,597 I was itchy for three days, okay? 623 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:27,725 I had to take baths constantly. I missed the O.J . verdict. 624 00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:29,435 Had to read about it in the paper like an idiot. 625 00:29:29,519 --> 00:29:32,522 Wait, so you don't go into, like, shock or die or anything? 626 00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:36,359 No, Jim. Not everything's life and death. I want to feel comfortable. 627 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,486 Oscar, here you go. 628 00:29:38,903 --> 00:29:40,029 Oh! Whoa! 629 00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:42,323 You're getting nut particles all in the air. 630 00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:45,868 No one had a problem with the air here until you came around. 631 00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:57,630 Everyone, mandatory meeting. Multi-purpose room, now. 632 00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:59,048 No, that's good. You just stay in there. 633 00:29:59,090 --> 00:30:00,675 Except for Michael. Stay in there by yourself, loser. 634 00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:02,802 Nobody go in. Nobody go in there. What? 635 00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:04,304 Why? Just stay where you are. 636 00:30:04,387 --> 00:30:05,638 Michael, this is insane. 637 00:30:05,722 --> 00:30:07,015 No, it's not insane, Oscar. 638 00:30:07,098 --> 00:30:09,017 I've been here for 19 years, 639 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:10,810 and just because someone else is called the boss, 640 00:30:10,893 --> 00:30:12,228 you're gonna throw it all away? No, no. 641 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,153 Listen, you're the one who decided to leave. 642 00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:22,864 Come on, he's our new boss. You know we have to do this. 643 00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:24,449 Okay. 644 00:30:26,034 --> 00:30:28,036 Well, who needs them? 645 00:30:28,119 --> 00:30:29,412 Looks like it's just you and me, Dwight. 646 00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:32,749 Correction. Just you. 647 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:38,921 All right. Meeting, multi-function room. 648 00:30:39,589 --> 00:30:41,215 Apology accepted. 649 00:30:42,884 --> 00:30:43,926 Hold on. 650 00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:49,390 Hey, Michael. Michael, wait up, hold up. Hold up. 651 00:30:50,725 --> 00:30:51,726 Um... 652 00:30:52,935 --> 00:30:54,062 So, for these meetings, 653 00:30:54,145 --> 00:30:56,064 do you just jump into business 654 00:30:56,147 --> 00:30:58,024 or do you start with some chitchat or... 655 00:30:59,442 --> 00:31:02,904 I start with some chitchat and maybe a couple of jokes. 656 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,783 And you might want to develop a couple of characters. 657 00:31:07,116 --> 00:31:09,410 You know what? You just. . . You'll be fine. 658 00:31:09,619 --> 00:31:12,455 Maybe, maybe not. 50-50. 659 00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:17,210 You know, it is too bad for this place that you're leaving. 660 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:23,925 Bring it in. Come on. 661 00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:28,471 Bring it. 662 00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:32,975 Okay. Okay. 663 00:31:46,030 --> 00:31:48,699 Why did you have to be so damn good? 664 00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:51,786 I... I'm adequate. 665 00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:55,164 I'm half as good as you. 666 00:31:55,248 --> 00:31:56,999 No, no, no. Come on. 667 00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:59,961 You are good. They know it. Come on. 668 00:32:01,045 --> 00:32:04,048 I just didn't expect you to get there so fast. 669 00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:07,635 Would you do me a favor and enjoy this time, okay? You've worked so hard. 670 00:32:07,718 --> 00:32:10,847 Get your senioritis on. It's Lake Havasu time. 671 00:32:11,305 --> 00:32:13,433 I guess I've been working so hard 672 00:32:13,516 --> 00:32:15,643 I forgot what it's like to be hardly working. 673 00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:22,233 Okay. 674 00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:29,657 What is the Native American girl's name? 675 00:32:30,408 --> 00:32:31,492 You'll figure it out. 676 00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:42,628 Thank you, Dwight. 677 00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:43,921 Thank you, sir. 678 00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:48,885 Listen up... 679 00:32:54,390 --> 00:32:57,310 Hey, Deangelo. Want to meet Cece? 680 00:33:04,317 --> 00:33:06,652 That's a cute baby. 681 00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:09,322 Very cute baby. Adorable. Very cute. 682 00:33:09,405 --> 00:33:10,740 Thank you very much. 683 00:33:11,908 --> 00:33:13,326 I'm sorry, I should get back to work, but... 684 00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:14,911 Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Absolutely, yeah. 685 00:33:15,077 --> 00:33:16,078 Thank you so much. Say, "Bye-bye." 686 00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:17,413 Say, "Bye." Bye! 687 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:18,706 See? We knew it. 688 00:33:18,789 --> 00:33:20,333 If he just met her, he'd understand. 689 00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:21,918 We're back in. 690 00:33:22,001 --> 00:33:23,419 Ha. Ha. 691 00:33:23,503 --> 00:33:24,587 Right? 692 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:27,423 I'm telling you, that baby could be the star of a show 693 00:33:27,507 --> 00:33:30,009 called Babies I Don't Care About.