1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,946 I really didn't think I was gonna have a good time, but I did. 2 00:00:02,016 --> 00:00:05,884 I totally did. I love camping. Anything can happen. 3 00:00:05,954 --> 00:00:09,253 Oh, it wasn't camping. It was more of a wilderness retreat. 4 00:00:09,324 --> 00:00:10,552 Morning. Michael. 5 00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:13,626 Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods 6 00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:18,155 for a get-to-know-you weekend. Michael wasn't invited. 7 00:00:19,767 --> 00:00:23,430 Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him. 8 00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:24,664 Did you sleep in cabins? 9 00:00:24,739 --> 00:00:27,867 Under the stars. It was really beautiful. 10 00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:31,537 You should come. Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once. 11 00:00:31,613 --> 00:00:33,342 (MICHAEL LAUGHING) 12 00:00:34,949 --> 00:00:37,941 Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. 13 00:00:38,019 --> 00:00:40,112 Toby went, but Michael didn't go. 14 00:00:40,922 --> 00:00:42,355 He wasn't invited. 15 00:00:42,857 --> 00:00:46,315 Who went? Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, 16 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:50,194 Jack from Albany, and Ryan, obviously. We ate so many s'mores 17 00:00:50,265 --> 00:00:54,634 I finally had to say, "No more s'mores. No more s'mores." 18 00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:02,704 Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. 19 00:01:02,777 --> 00:01:05,439 It was this amazing, beautiful... 20 00:01:06,214 --> 00:01:08,910 Hey. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. 21 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:12,883 I need that room at some point, so just wrap it up. 22 00:01:14,188 --> 00:01:15,815 Michael wasn't invited. 23 00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:41,007 Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping. 24 00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:44,344 And... Do you know what "hypothetical" means? 25 00:01:44,419 --> 00:01:45,511 Not real. Got it. 26 00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:49,022 So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, 27 00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:51,418 would you go? Absolutely. Yes. 28 00:01:51,826 --> 00:01:55,159 When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. 29 00:01:55,229 --> 00:01:56,924 Really? Yeah. 30 00:01:56,998 --> 00:01:58,363 Oh, do you want to go today? 31 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,333 And I am always busy. 32 00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:03,666 Oh, I can't go today because I'm donating blood. 33 00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:06,935 How often can you actually donate blood? 34 00:02:07,008 --> 00:02:08,373 Is there a limit? I don't... 35 00:02:08,443 --> 00:02:10,502 Your body only has a certain amount. 36 00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:12,546 Well. Is that it? Or... 37 00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:15,173 Yeah. Just this whole Toby camping thing. 38 00:02:15,249 --> 00:02:18,480 I don't know, seems a little lame. I mean... How so? 39 00:02:18,553 --> 00:02:21,579 A bunch of guys in a tent making s'mores. 40 00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:27,190 What's that? Oh, I'm on Broken Mountain. 41 00:02:27,261 --> 00:02:29,456 Here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. 42 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:33,261 I think you go camping by yourself in the wilderness. 43 00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:38,397 It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy 44 00:02:38,473 --> 00:02:40,805 or two guys, if your plans change. They're not 45 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:44,140 I want to do it myself. You know, I want to go 46 00:02:44,212 --> 00:02:46,339 and find out something about myself. 47 00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:53,013 I want to get out of here. All the cliques and the office politics, fluorescent lights. 48 00:02:53,087 --> 00:02:54,611 And the asbestos. 49 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:55,986 I thought we had that looked at. 50 00:02:56,057 --> 00:02:58,457 I'm sick of it, Jim. I'm sick of this place. 51 00:02:58,726 --> 00:03:03,686 When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called Survivorman. 52 00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:09,101 And it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out 53 00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:13,163 into the middle of nowhere and just try not to die, 54 00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:15,368 try not to get eaten by an animal, 55 00:03:15,443 --> 00:03:18,435 or be overexposed. 56 00:03:18,613 --> 00:03:22,845 Okay, I will only need two things, a roll of duct tape and a knife. 57 00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:25,715 I'm on it. Okay. Thirty minutes or less. 58 00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:27,311 Please come back. 59 00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:30,721 Save the receipts. Hey, what... 60 00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:34,660 Let's see if any of these will work. Hey. Hey. Dwight. Dwight... 61 00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:38,262 I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. 62 00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:42,393 I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had Velcroed under my desk. 63 00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:48,775 People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace." 64 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:53,879 Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, 65 00:03:53,948 --> 00:03:56,416 than by a stranger on purpose. 66 00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:03,013 Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. 67 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:06,787 I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow 68 00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:08,920 and perhaps the next day. 69 00:04:08,996 --> 00:04:10,395 Do you want me to ask where you're going? 70 00:04:10,465 --> 00:04:11,625 No. 71 00:04:11,699 --> 00:04:13,257 Great. Dwight will be driving me 72 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,461 deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness. Oh. 73 00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:17,527 Where he will then leave me 74 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:22,133 to either die or to survive. The choice is yours. 75 00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:26,203 No. The choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this? 76 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,013 Yes. And I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day, 77 00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:33,952 and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me. 78 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:37,616 Okay. Great. This is a very personal, private experience 79 00:04:37,692 --> 00:04:41,560 in the wild that I wish to share with me, myself and I. 80 00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:42,891 Yep. 81 00:04:42,964 --> 00:04:46,525 When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being. 82 00:04:46,601 --> 00:04:47,590 That'd be great. 83 00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:50,535 Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills 84 00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,267 to survive in a hostile environment? 85 00:04:54,442 --> 00:04:57,809 Let's put it this way. No, I do not. 86 00:05:00,081 --> 00:05:02,072 This is what a true Survivorman does. 87 00:05:02,149 --> 00:05:05,915 You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. 88 00:05:05,987 --> 00:05:08,148 You can only wear the clothes that you have on, 89 00:05:08,222 --> 00:05:10,884 and you can only use the stuff that you have in your pockets. 90 00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:15,486 Now in this case, this disaster is a serial killer, 91 00:05:15,563 --> 00:05:20,398 creepy guy who's abducted me, and is taking me out into the wilderness 92 00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,629 to leave me for dead. No. I would never leave you for dead. 93 00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:25,604 You would never escape. Well, yes, I would. And I would survive. 94 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,368 I would make sure that you were dead. No. 95 00:05:27,441 --> 00:05:29,705 Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips 96 00:05:29,777 --> 00:05:31,210 so you could not be identified. You... 97 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,644 And they would call me the Overkill Killer. 98 00:05:32,713 --> 00:05:37,810 You are as creepy as a real serial killer, for real. Okay... 99 00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:41,514 What are you doing? I am putting this on so I have no familiarity 100 00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,284 with my surroundings. 101 00:05:43,357 --> 00:05:45,951 Now this way I can't retrace my steps. 102 00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:49,724 I don't know what streets we... Ow! What are you doing? 103 00:05:49,797 --> 00:05:51,662 It would be better if you were unconscious. No. 104 00:05:51,732 --> 00:05:54,292 Here... God. Dwight, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 105 00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:56,165 Do you want to do this right or not? 106 00:05:56,237 --> 00:06:00,571 Just please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life. 107 00:06:02,643 --> 00:06:05,908 Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday. 108 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,470 Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday? 109 00:06:07,548 --> 00:06:10,312 Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember? 110 00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:12,944 I do remember, yeah. It's birthday month. 111 00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:17,923 Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next, Meredith's is at the end of the month. 112 00:06:17,992 --> 00:06:19,653 Michael usually goes with red and white streamers... 113 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:23,686 You know what? I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big, shared party? 114 00:06:24,298 --> 00:06:25,322 What? 115 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:29,995 There are 13 people working in this office, so 13 times a year, 116 00:06:30,071 --> 00:06:32,733 Michael gets a cake and balloons 117 00:06:33,274 --> 00:06:36,607 and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. 118 00:06:36,711 --> 00:06:40,579 And there are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are... 119 00:06:40,648 --> 00:06:44,675 Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug. 120 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:50,281 And the other is something inappropriate or horrible or both. 121 00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:54,157 What else? He only sings the high harmony to Happy Birthday. 122 00:06:54,228 --> 00:06:56,355 (ALL SINGING) 123 00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:59,630 And he is a very big believer in surprise parties. 124 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,294 Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault. 125 00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,769 Happy birthday! 126 00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:05,396 Happy birthday! 127 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:06,997 (LAUGHING) 128 00:07:07,441 --> 00:07:08,965 Happy birthday! 129 00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:14,110 So I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive. 130 00:07:14,181 --> 00:07:15,307 Yeah. 131 00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:19,342 We can just have one big, fun party. And everybody's happy 132 00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:20,580 and nobody wastes their time. 133 00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:22,555 I don't like it. 134 00:07:27,061 --> 00:07:30,155 Wow. You're shaking things up a bit, huh? 135 00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:31,892 It's a pretty good idea, don't you think? 136 00:07:31,966 --> 00:07:36,232 Do you think it's a good idea? No. I think it's a great idea. 137 00:07:37,638 --> 00:07:38,627 Hmm. 138 00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:42,174 We're here. 139 00:07:44,879 --> 00:07:49,907 Dwight will take my blindfold off when we are deep in the forest. 140 00:07:49,984 --> 00:07:51,918 Just the two of us from this point out. 141 00:07:51,986 --> 00:07:54,420 Here we go. Just the two of us. 142 00:07:57,625 --> 00:08:00,890 DWIGHT: Here we go into the wild, to the mighty forest. 143 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,096 Can you smell the trees and the nature? 144 00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:08,028 Keep going. You're fine. 145 00:08:08,602 --> 00:08:10,763 Just some bushes and some thickets. 146 00:08:13,407 --> 00:08:14,533 Keep going. 147 00:08:16,343 --> 00:08:18,573 You wanted wilderness. You got it. 148 00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:20,503 You know, try sending them another invoice. 149 00:08:20,581 --> 00:08:21,912 Okay. All right. 150 00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:24,782 Oh, did you see my memo, by the way? 151 00:08:27,521 --> 00:08:29,455 "Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are, 152 00:08:29,523 --> 00:08:31,388 "we all can use a break from the constant cakes. 153 00:08:31,459 --> 00:08:34,451 "So let's celebrate birthday month in style today." 154 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,727 This is really cool. 155 00:08:38,466 --> 00:08:40,764 Right? I was just thinking... 156 00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:42,826 No. Totally. Totally. 157 00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:46,498 This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun. 158 00:08:46,574 --> 00:08:49,509 Right. Exactly. 159 00:08:50,678 --> 00:08:52,009 I knew I could count on you. 160 00:08:54,682 --> 00:08:56,547 As good a spot as any. 161 00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:03,690 What are you doing? Stop it. 162 00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:05,658 Dwight, just stop it. I'm just... 163 00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:09,059 Spin. I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction. 164 00:09:15,236 --> 00:09:16,669 Behold. 165 00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:18,364 All right, good. Thank you, Dwight. 166 00:09:18,439 --> 00:09:20,373 Here's your knife. Thank you. 167 00:09:20,441 --> 00:09:22,102 And here's your duct tape. Good. 168 00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:24,371 All right. Very good. 169 00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:27,039 Okay. Yeah. 170 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:29,949 Good luck, Michael. Thanks for the ride. 171 00:09:32,419 --> 00:09:33,818 Okay. 172 00:09:35,222 --> 00:09:36,849 Leave me be, Dwight. 173 00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:42,093 Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake? What's that? 174 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:43,755 I really prefer Devil's F'ood Cake. 175 00:09:43,831 --> 00:09:44,991 Oh, sure. 176 00:09:45,065 --> 00:09:46,225 Yes. Okay. 177 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,392 Awesome. 178 00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:48,826 Wow. That was easy. 179 00:09:48,903 --> 00:09:50,768 Yeah. People like me, I guess. 180 00:09:50,838 --> 00:09:51,930 Jim. 181 00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,798 I hate Devil's F'ood. Well, I think Meredith was... 182 00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,502 Screw Meredith. I don't think it's fair 183 00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:58,545 to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday. 184 00:09:58,612 --> 00:10:00,842 Everybody's birthday. Today is actually my birthday 185 00:10:00,915 --> 00:10:02,883 and I want to pick the cake. What do you want? 186 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,815 I want pie. I want peach pie. You want birthday pie? 187 00:10:04,885 --> 00:10:05,874 I want a nice cobbler. 188 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,319 I'll talk to Angela and we're going to see what we can do about a pie. 189 00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:10,118 I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen. 190 00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:12,284 It'll be Angela. You tell her it's for Creed. 191 00:10:12,359 --> 00:10:13,792 She'll know what that means. 192 00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:24,933 Day one. I'm in the interior of the vast Pennsylvania wilderness. 193 00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:28,807 I have brought with me only the bare essentials, 194 00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:32,175 a knife, a roll of duct tape 195 00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:36,615 in case I need to fashion a shelter or make some sort of water vessel. 196 00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:43,181 It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, 197 00:10:43,257 --> 00:10:48,627 which would make it about 2:00 in the afternoon. 198 00:10:48,696 --> 00:10:50,994 Really beating down on me now. 199 00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:55,729 I think that I want to get a little more comfortable 200 00:10:56,237 --> 00:11:00,833 because the sun is depleting my resources. 201 00:11:00,908 --> 00:11:04,071 Okay. There we go. 202 00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:08,604 Watch that I don't hit my carotid artery here. 203 00:11:08,682 --> 00:11:13,278 I lied to Michael. I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not. 204 00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:17,017 I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support. 205 00:11:17,091 --> 00:11:18,820 But I will never help him. 206 00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:23,926 I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. 207 00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:26,626 But I will never let him lose his dignity. 208 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,501 There we go. Much better. 209 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:34,507 Now everything I brought with me can be used. 210 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:36,941 My sport coat here 211 00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:41,641 can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts. 212 00:11:41,715 --> 00:11:47,654 I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs. 213 00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:53,324 See, this is a beautiful piece of material. 214 00:11:53,394 --> 00:11:58,297 This can be used for all sorts of things, some sort of kerchief 215 00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:02,768 to keep my neck nice and comfortable. 216 00:12:05,572 --> 00:12:07,563 Jimbo. Andy. 217 00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:11,702 Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? F'udgie the Whale. 218 00:12:11,779 --> 00:12:14,907 Not your birthday. Well, I'm just saying, you know, 219 00:12:14,982 --> 00:12:17,007 if you want to make people happy, namely me, 220 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,881 you will have a F'udgie the Whale. 221 00:12:18,953 --> 00:12:22,116 All right. I'll look into it, but the answer's no. 222 00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,848 Well, okay. Harsh. 223 00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,850 Just don't expect me to show up. 224 00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:30,328 Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make. Loud and clear. 225 00:12:30,397 --> 00:12:31,762 All right. 226 00:12:34,735 --> 00:12:37,568 Pizza rolls. Okay, I'm going to go into this office here 227 00:12:37,638 --> 00:12:39,230 to do some work so I will be in here. 228 00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:40,398 Mushroom caps. 229 00:12:40,808 --> 00:12:45,268 I am totally alone right now with only my thoughts. 230 00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:47,906 I love it. I'm loving it. 231 00:12:49,249 --> 00:12:53,913 I can literally say anything I want. No one is going to hear me. 232 00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:58,222 Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat. 233 00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:01,184 Jan has plastic boobs. 234 00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:06,123 I have hemorrhoids. 235 00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:10,937 Doesn't even matter. 236 00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:13,940 Michael's a man of great depth and passion. 237 00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:18,534 I don't know what he's searching for out here. 238 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:24,710 But I hope he finds it. 239 00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:29,082 Lunch. 240 00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:33,658 Well. It is a little chillier than I had thought. 241 00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:36,355 So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants. 242 00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:40,828 Several hours in, it's time for me to find some nourishment. 243 00:13:40,901 --> 00:13:45,065 Now these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. 244 00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:48,438 Things like squirrels, 245 00:13:48,509 --> 00:13:51,672 a nice, juicy rabbit would be delicious. 246 00:13:53,647 --> 00:13:55,547 About two more minutes. 247 00:13:57,518 --> 00:14:03,218 I have made this spear with which I will impale my dinner. 248 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,026 And that couldn't come a moment too soon, 249 00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:10,586 because I have been without food for a good 250 00:14:11,265 --> 00:14:12,960 three hours or so. 251 00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,401 Starting to feel it a little bit. 252 00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:19,666 (SIGHS) 253 00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:23,172 It's Creed's birthday today. 254 00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:27,907 (SINGING) Happy birthday to you 255 00:14:28,782 --> 00:14:32,912 Happy birthday to you 256 00:14:32,986 --> 00:14:38,515 (SINGING HIGH HARMONY) Happy birthday, dear Creed 257 00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:45,894 Happy birthday to you 258 00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:48,832 Happy birthday, buddy. 259 00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:53,833 What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday. So what if there's a lot of them? 260 00:14:53,907 --> 00:14:59,777 Yeah. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. 261 00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:02,475 Most days I just sit and wait for the break. 262 00:15:02,549 --> 00:15:06,280 I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. 263 00:15:06,353 --> 00:15:08,878 If I don't have some cake soon, I might die. 264 00:15:08,956 --> 00:15:10,082 Why don't you just have an apple? 265 00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:11,590 Why don't you mind your business? 266 00:15:11,658 --> 00:15:12,955 Listen, I figured this out. 267 00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:16,894 Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago so he doesn't care. 268 00:15:16,964 --> 00:15:18,829 I think the power went to his head. CREED: Yeah. 269 00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:20,457 Hey, Jim. Hey, guys. 270 00:15:20,534 --> 00:15:24,197 What are we talking about? Nothing. Nothing going on. 271 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:27,707 We're talking about nothing. Come on, gang. 272 00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:36,182 Well, if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. 273 00:15:36,984 --> 00:15:41,080 I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter. 274 00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:44,688 And this little guy may be Dunder Mifflin paper some day. 275 00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:53,124 Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. 276 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,658 Safety is on. 277 00:15:58,972 --> 00:16:00,337 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 278 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:01,663 Hey, Jim. 279 00:16:01,742 --> 00:16:02,834 Toby. 280 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:05,674 Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays. 281 00:16:05,746 --> 00:16:07,737 Oh. Great idea. 282 00:16:09,116 --> 00:16:11,050 Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. 283 00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:16,520 Is there anything I can... 284 00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,387 My birthday was two months ago. 285 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,447 Oh, okay. 286 00:16:19,526 --> 00:16:21,187 There was no party. 287 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:25,493 What? Well, there was but Michael scheduled it for 288 00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:29,058 4:58 on a F'riday. People sang in the parking lot. 289 00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,160 I remember that. 290 00:16:30,237 --> 00:16:31,568 I don't know, I just thought maybe you 291 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:34,129 could include me. Seriously? 292 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:37,336 I just thought you could add me in. I don't know what the harm in that is. 293 00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:41,944 Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. 294 00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:47,043 "I don't see the harm in that." Well, it's a cake, Toby, so come on. 295 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,213 Okay, yeah, you know what, we're just going to throw you in 296 00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:50,415 because the more, the merrier, right? 297 00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:54,256 No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. 298 00:16:54,328 --> 00:16:58,230 You can't just change plans willy-nilly and expect these little magic party elves 299 00:16:58,298 --> 00:17:00,425 to do your bidding. We already have Devil's F'ood, 300 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,628 peach cobbler, F'udgie the Whale, mushroom caps... 301 00:17:03,704 --> 00:17:05,103 I'm allergic to mushrooms. 302 00:17:05,172 --> 00:17:07,367 That's a bummer. Okay. 303 00:17:07,441 --> 00:17:09,875 Then we need to... 304 00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:12,844 Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing? Could I have your attention, please? 305 00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:15,040 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing. 306 00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:17,345 Conference room? Yes. Conference room. F'ive minutes. 307 00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:21,513 No. No. We're going to solve it right here. 308 00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:23,488 We're going to actually talk about it out here. 309 00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:26,924 So who has problems with the birthday thing? 310 00:17:26,994 --> 00:17:30,862 One, two, three, everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it. 311 00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:33,422 What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie? 312 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,230 I'll take them. Well, nobody's touching my cobbler. 313 00:17:36,303 --> 00:17:38,294 Hey, Michael. I mean Jim. 314 00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:42,503 Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. 315 00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:46,711 And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. 316 00:17:47,347 --> 00:17:51,579 Under this tree, I think I struck the mother lode. 317 00:17:51,652 --> 00:17:56,885 Those are nature's best mushrooms. 318 00:17:56,957 --> 00:18:01,894 Wild, and I have to say, these little buggers are damn tasty as well. 319 00:18:01,962 --> 00:18:04,430 DWIGHT: (SCREAMING) Stop. No. No, Michael. 320 00:18:04,498 --> 00:18:08,025 No. No. No. 321 00:18:11,638 --> 00:18:12,969 Get them out. 322 00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:20,838 (ALL SINGING) Happy birthday to you 323 00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:25,146 Happy birthday to you 324 00:18:25,218 --> 00:18:30,679 (SINGING HIGH HARMONY) Happy birthday, dear Creed 325 00:18:30,757 --> 00:18:36,218 Happy birthday to you 326 00:18:36,296 --> 00:18:38,696 Yeah. All right. 327 00:18:38,765 --> 00:18:42,531 Skip around the room. Skip around the room. We won't... 328 00:18:42,602 --> 00:18:46,094 Okay, all right, yikes. Don't do that. You're going to break something. 329 00:18:46,306 --> 00:18:51,835 Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth 330 00:18:51,912 --> 00:18:54,346 and clothing and television, 331 00:18:54,614 --> 00:18:57,549 and hamburgers, and to walk upright, 332 00:18:57,617 --> 00:19:01,053 and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. 333 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,749 He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. 334 00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:08,121 I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. 335 00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:11,491 I don't need fresh air 336 00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:14,932 because I have the freshest air around, AC. 337 00:19:16,436 --> 00:19:18,870 And I don't need wide open spaces. 338 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,668 Check it out. 339 00:19:24,878 --> 00:19:26,937 I can also make it the sky. 340 00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:32,344 Hi, buddy. Hey. 341 00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:33,511 What's up? 342 00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,180 I'm sure glad you're back. 343 00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:37,823 You are relieved. 344 00:19:37,891 --> 00:19:39,290 You have no idea. 345 00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,155 So what did I miss? 346 00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:44,594 Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. 347 00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,393 Oh. So, terrible idea. 348 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:50,493 Yeah. Okay, I did that. Rookie mistake. 349 00:19:50,570 --> 00:19:54,165 You did do it? Yeah. Just wait. 350 00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:56,573 Ten years, you'll figure it out. 351 00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:59,612 Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years, but... 352 00:20:00,714 --> 00:20:02,204 That's what I said. 353 00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:08,411 That's what she said. 354 00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:13,225 That's what who said? 355 00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:14,920 I never know. 356 00:20:15,695 --> 00:20:19,825 But I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, 357 00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:23,964 to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard. 358 00:20:24,037 --> 00:20:25,902 That's what she said. 359 00:20:25,972 --> 00:20:28,566 Hey. Nice. 360 00:20:29,776 --> 00:20:30,936 Really good. 361 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,347 Bravo, my young ward.