2
00:00:02,481 --> 00:00:04,852
The documentary series
finished airing ages ago.
3
00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:06,858
Why is PBS sending
another crew?
4
00:00:06,891 --> 00:00:09,037
We're getting bonus
footage for the DVD.
5
00:00:09,056 --> 00:00:11,681
Pfft.
Nobody buys DVDs anymore.
6
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,675
It'll be a pledge gift.
7
00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:15,022
PBS
8
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,286
The propaganda wing
of Bill and Melinda Gates
9
00:00:17,313 --> 00:00:19,263
and viewers like you.
10
00:00:20,081 --> 00:00:23,687
In the past year I've consolidated
the entire Scranton paper market
11
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:27,878
we regained the White Pages, the district,
the county, we supply them all.
12
00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:30,176
I'm getting married
tomorrow afternoon.
13
00:00:30,275 --> 00:00:32,153
And in the morning
there's mini-reunion.
14
00:00:32,178 --> 00:00:35,686
A kind of "where are they now"
panel at a local theater.
15
00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:37,436
It'll be nice to see
everyone again.
16
00:00:37,484 --> 00:00:38,323
[Laughs]
17
00:00:38,354 --> 00:00:40,883
I haven't seen Kevin
since we let him go.
18
00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:44,670
[Mimicking trumpet]
19
00:00:44,954 --> 00:00:48,250
Today marks several
important milestones.
20
00:00:48,456 --> 00:00:51,851
Stanley, as you know,
is retiring.
21
00:00:52,326 --> 00:00:53,595
[Laughing]
22
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,309
Yes.
Whoo, whoo, whoo.
23
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:59,134
Ah, I've been looking forward to
this day since I was 18 years old.
24
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,687
- Speech!
- No!
25
00:01:00,746 --> 00:01:05,290
And our next and most
thickly frosted cake is...
26
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,371
for...
27
00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:07,846
- Kevin.
- Yes!
28
00:01:07,864 --> 00:01:09,065
[Laughing]
29
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:10,366
Wait, why?
30
00:01:10,389 --> 00:01:12,946
Go ahead and just read
the frosting.
31
00:01:14,152 --> 00:01:15,592
- "Get out"?
- Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:18,659
- What does that mean? - It's a
colloquial way of saying "you're fired,"
33
00:01:18,675 --> 00:01:20,765
- Kevin, which you are.
- What?
34
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,334
Dwight you can't do that.
35
00:01:22,353 --> 00:01:25,298
The cake has spoken, Pam.
Sorry! Heh.
36
00:01:25,373 --> 00:01:28,729
Well, if anyone here can make
a case for Kevin staying...
37
00:01:29,166 --> 00:01:30,826
Dwight...
[Overlapping objections]
38
00:01:30,844 --> 00:01:33,637
Based...
on his merit.
39
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:35,773
Ooh.
40
00:01:36,714 --> 00:01:38,215
Um...
41
00:01:38,441 --> 00:01:39,946
I'm...
42
00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:42,577
- good.
- Well, Toby'll stop it.
43
00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:44,390
Anytime anyone's
ever been fired,
44
00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:46,580
- Toby's blocked it, so--
- Yeah, yeah.
45
00:01:46,598 --> 00:01:49,672
- I don't think--
- Toby, wait, wait. Hold that thought.
46
00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:51,877
Here's your cake.
47
00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:56,433
Bye bye, Toby.
48
00:01:56,511 --> 00:01:58,847
[Kevin sniffling]
49
00:01:58,971 --> 00:02:02,148
[Crying]
At least I got chocolate.
52
00:02:41,304 --> 00:02:42,810
I bike to work now.
53
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,802
Saves on gas,
cheaper than a vasectomy,
54
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:47,330
and, uh, oh, yeah, it's good
for the environment too.
55
00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:50,918
Pam and I are great.
56
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:54,055
She just recently finished her mural
for the Irish Cultural Center.
57
00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:54,930
[Cheers and applause]
58
00:02:54,948 --> 00:02:56,836
- Whoo!
- Can you clap?
59
00:02:56,878 --> 00:02:58,579
Can you clap for mom?
60
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:02,198
And Dwight is imitating
Japanese business practices
61
00:03:02,271 --> 00:03:05,566
for reasons he explained
to us in Japanese.
62
00:03:05,681 --> 00:03:07,144
[Whispering] Angela,
63
00:03:07,169 --> 00:03:08,707
are you ready for the wedding?
64
00:03:08,728 --> 00:03:09,775
Yes.
65
00:03:09,806 --> 00:03:12,195
My heart is so open.
66
00:03:12,286 --> 00:03:14,237
I am so at peace.
67
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:15,768
[Scoffs]
68
00:03:15,798 --> 00:03:17,373
Look at Meredith.
69
00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:19,073
She's disgusting.
70
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:22,331
Those feet-- they're like
the paws of an orangutan.
71
00:03:22,343 --> 00:03:23,944
I think she looks good.
72
00:03:23,966 --> 00:03:27,022
Now that she's wearing sports bras,
we don't see her boobs as much.
73
00:03:27,122 --> 00:03:28,832
That is all.
Have a good morning.
74
00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:30,366
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Dwight.
75
00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:34,212
- [Laughing]
- What was that for?
76
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,772
To remind you that our
wedding's gonna be wonderful.
77
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:40,042
Ah, I know.
It just feels so empty with...
78
00:03:40,073 --> 00:03:41,780
so many of the old gang gone.
79
00:03:41,798 --> 00:03:43,896
D, it's gonna be perfect.
80
00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:46,568
The only people that need
to be there are you and me.
81
00:03:46,749 --> 00:03:48,462
Oh, and the old man
to feed us the cheese
82
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,225
that he's been fermenting
since the day of my birth.
83
00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:51,694
You keep forgetting about him.
84
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,728
I don't--
I don't know why.
85
00:03:54,624 --> 00:03:56,474
I brought in some new faces,
86
00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:58,022
and one old.
87
00:03:58,065 --> 00:03:59,699
I always liked Devon.
88
00:03:59,797 --> 00:04:01,939
I hired him back after
Creed faked his own death
89
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:04,131
in the baler
the day after the doc aired.
90
00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:06,033
The only person he fooled
was Kevin.
91
00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:09,010
Then the police showed up. Turns
out, Creed was in the band
92
00:04:09,028 --> 00:04:11,380
The Grass Roots in the 1960s.
93
00:04:11,557 --> 00:04:13,382
During that time,
the police say,
94
00:04:13,398 --> 00:04:17,954
he sold drugs and trafficked
in endangered species meat
95
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:21,680
and stole weapons-grade
LSD from the military.
96
00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:26,463
- Oh, some fudge?
- Oh, thanks.
97
00:04:26,525 --> 00:04:28,094
I love your fudge.
98
00:04:28,113 --> 00:04:29,697
- Thanks.
- Mm.
99
00:04:29,724 --> 00:04:31,838
I think I gained a couple
pounds since I got here.
100
00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:34,103
[Laughing]
Oh, you can afford it.
101
00:04:34,394 --> 00:04:39,774
After 16 years, it's strange sitting
across from somebody who isn't Stanley.
102
00:04:40,382 --> 00:04:41,577
But
103
00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:43,595
he'll get there.
104
00:04:43,696 --> 00:04:45,383
Okay, the limo's
gonna be here at 5:00.
105
00:04:45,395 --> 00:04:47,589
I need everybody to be ready
'cause I want to pack in a lot.
106
00:04:47,595 --> 00:04:49,008
Partytime whorehouse.
107
00:04:49,026 --> 00:04:51,496
Uh, no. No whorehouse.
This is Dwight's night, okay?
108
00:04:51,519 --> 00:04:53,108
Well, you're
the bestisch mensch
109
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:56,406
Dwight has made me
his bestisch mensch.
110
00:04:56,681 --> 00:04:58,998
Which is Schrute for best man.
111
00:04:59,296 --> 00:05:01,531
He's putting himself
entirely in my hands tonight.
112
00:05:01,549 --> 00:05:04,931
And I know, for over 12 years, I've
done nothing but trick and prank him.
113
00:05:04,943 --> 00:05:06,750
But tonight...
114
00:05:07,216 --> 00:05:09,308
only good surprises.
115
00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:10,667
"Guten pranken."
116
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,864
[Chuckles]
117
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:13,398
Oh, hey, Jim,
I forgot to mention.
118
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,670
Oftentimes, in Hollywood
portrayals of bachelor parties,
119
00:05:15,701 --> 00:05:17,215
there are accidental murders.
120
00:05:17,236 --> 00:05:18,968
That won't be necessary
tonight.
121
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,386
- Great, now we got three hours to fill.
- Okay, hold on.
122
00:05:21,411 --> 00:05:23,286
Are you sure Mose
isn't going to show up?
123
00:05:23,311 --> 00:05:26,606
Ever since Angela moved in and Mose had
stopped sleeping at the foot of my bed,
124
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,037
he's been acting pretty weird
about this whole wedding thing.
125
00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:30,685
Mose has been weird?
126
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:32,710
That's so unlike him.
127
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:37,401
[Indistinct chatter]
128
00:05:37,473 --> 00:05:42,583
[Car horns]
129
00:05:47,191 --> 00:05:48,823
Yeah, sure, I'll talk about it.
130
00:05:48,853 --> 00:05:50,386
Why not?
131
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,412
America's Next A Cappella
Sensation aired my audition.
132
00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:55,784
And when I started sobbing
uncontrollably,
133
00:05:55,808 --> 00:05:59,895
apparently that struck a chord
with quite a lot of people.
134
00:06:00,335 --> 00:06:03,087
Not a very compassionate chord.
135
00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:06,295
The clip went viral,
as they say.
136
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:08,024
You can't just sit here
and cry.
137
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:10,675
Oh, I can so just
sit here and cry!
138
00:06:10,721 --> 00:06:12,675
Two million hits
in the first week...
139
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,939
and then the parodies started.
140
00:06:14,963 --> 00:06:17,419
One from the Philippines
got 12 million hits.
141
00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:23,291
[Speaking native language]
142
00:06:23,707 --> 00:06:26,607
And the late night comedy
guys had a field day with it.
143
00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:28,463
[Fake crying]
144
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,139
Oh, don't.
145
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:34,735
Aw, come on, Baby Wawa.
Don't be such a baby.
146
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,974
Oh, no.
147
00:06:38,488 --> 00:06:40,429
It's gonna be all right.
148
00:06:40,582 --> 00:06:43,268
It's gonna be all right.
149
00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:47,268
For Weekend Update, I'm Seth Meyers.
That's Baby Wawa. Good night.
150
00:06:47,506 --> 00:06:48,662
Bye.
151
00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:50,538
After my clip blew up,
I actually got a call
152
00:06:50,557 --> 00:06:53,572
from the double rainbow guy
and the fat Star Wars kid.
153
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:56,393
Turns out they have
a support group.
154
00:06:57,525 --> 00:06:59,549
Not really my scene.
155
00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:01,791
Years ago,
156
00:07:01,816 --> 00:07:04,810
the Senator promised a left
turn lane by the Arby's.
157
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:08,099
So I wanna know where in
the name of horsey sauce is it?
158
00:07:08,286 --> 00:07:09,943
Well, yeah, you--
hold on.
159
00:07:10,036 --> 00:07:10,817
Hi.
160
00:07:10,835 --> 00:07:13,178
I keep seeing this symbol
in the accounts from last year.
161
00:07:13,190 --> 00:07:16,014
It's-It's all over the place.
I don't know what it means.
162
00:07:16,045 --> 00:07:17,877
That's the reason
Kevin got fired.
163
00:07:17,941 --> 00:07:21,056
It's his magic number. He used to
use it to balance his accounts.
164
00:07:21,129 --> 00:07:22,499
He used to call it a keleven.
165
00:07:22,518 --> 00:07:23,583
He told Dwight,
166
00:07:23,601 --> 00:07:26,338
"a mistake plus keleven
gets you home by seven."
167
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:29,053
He was home by 4:45 that day.
168
00:07:32,779 --> 00:07:34,599
Oh, I live in Poland now...
169
00:07:34,624 --> 00:07:37,197
the Scranton of the EU.
170
00:07:37,401 --> 00:07:40,031
Thank you for flying me
out here for the weekend.
171
00:07:40,188 --> 00:07:42,705
I'm looking forward
to the reunion panel tomorrow.
172
00:07:42,757 --> 00:07:44,661
Can't wait to see everyone.
173
00:07:44,771 --> 00:07:46,884
Well, almost everyone.
174
00:07:46,928 --> 00:07:48,039
Hello!
175
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:49,976
[Laughing] Hello!
176
00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:51,923
- Oh.
- Hi!
177
00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:54,211
- No.
- Oh. [Laughs nervously]
178
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,476
How did you know
my plane had arrived?
179
00:07:56,555 --> 00:07:58,005
How long have you been
stalking me?
180
00:07:58,030 --> 00:07:59,948
Oh, no, no, no.
My plane just got in.
181
00:07:59,976 --> 00:08:01,443
From New York.
182
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,209
- Are you still with Piotr?
- No.
183
00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:04,968
And I thought I unfriended you.
184
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,915
Anyone can follow
a Twitter feed.
185
00:08:08,732 --> 00:08:10,730
Wanna share a cab?
186
00:08:11,376 --> 00:08:14,170
After Dwight fired me,
I moved to New York...
187
00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:16,822
to write the great
American novel.
188
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,468
I have six roommates.
Heh.
189
00:08:19,555 --> 00:08:21,275
Which are better than
friends, you know,
190
00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:25,615
'cause they have to give you one
month's notice before they leave.
191
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:29,400
- Hey-oh!
- Andy?
192
00:08:29,449 --> 00:08:30,934
- You're back?
- Yeah.
193
00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:34,039
That's Baby Wawa, right?
Oh, my God!
194
00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:35,742
Hey, man, good to see you.
195
00:08:35,754 --> 00:08:37,011
Thank you.
Yeah.
196
00:08:37,035 --> 00:08:39,695
- Andy.
- Hey! Aw!
197
00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,784
A bear hug from my
favorite mama grizzly.
198
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:43,631
Andy, I've been worried
about you.
199
00:08:43,661 --> 00:08:45,338
How are you?
200
00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:46,588
A little warm.
201
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:49,001
- Poor, poor Andy.
- Okay. [Struggling]
202
00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:50,176
Aw.
203
00:08:50,187 --> 00:08:51,770
- Thank you, Phyllis.
- Hello, hello.
204
00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:54,915
- Hey! - Dar-ryl!
- Darryl! - Hey!
205
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:56,014
Hey, what's up?
206
00:08:56,026 --> 00:08:59,207
- Didn't I just see you at the airport
jumping in a limo? - What?
207
00:08:59,279 --> 00:09:02,482
- Must've been another devilishly
handsome, debonair individual. - Hmm.
208
00:09:02,513 --> 00:09:04,725
Hey, man, how you doing? I, um--
209
00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:07,079
I didn't call 'cause I figured
you changed the number.
210
00:09:07,104 --> 00:09:08,642
No, I didn't change the number.
211
00:09:08,669 --> 00:09:10,004
All good, though.
212
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:12,029
Phone never rings.
213
00:09:12,496 --> 00:09:15,214
- What! Ohh!
- Surprise!
214
00:09:15,239 --> 00:09:16,686
I thought you guys
couldn't come.
215
00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:18,817
Yeah, but then they moved the
panel to the same weekend,
216
00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:20,818
and the doc crew paid
to fly us in.
217
00:09:20,832 --> 00:09:22,313
It was kismet.
218
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,588
Kismet?
Yeah, right.
219
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:28,318
Pam and I came up with excuses
for every other weekend.
220
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,799
You remember my two
lap band surgeries, right?
221
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,312
Neither do I.
222
00:09:32,352 --> 00:09:34,558
"Guten prank" number one.
223
00:09:34,646 --> 00:09:36,547
You ready for tonight?
We gonna tear up the town?
224
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,205
- Uh, better ask Jim.
- And Jim will say nothing.
225
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:40,905
[Gasps]
226
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,385
Darryl!
227
00:09:42,492 --> 00:09:43,881
- Andy!
- Hey, Pam!
228
00:09:43,906 --> 00:09:45,763
Hey, Pam!
How are you?
229
00:09:45,797 --> 00:09:47,341
We're fine.
230
00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:48,827
Yeah.
231
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,284
And I'm sure that you
guys are fine too.
232
00:09:51,296 --> 00:09:54,010
- Because why wouldn't you be?
- Mm-hmm.
233
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,984
Darryl, oh, my gosh.
How is Austin?
234
00:09:57,015 --> 00:09:58,453
Tell me everything.
How's the merger?
235
00:09:58,466 --> 00:10:00,084
I feel like I read about Athlead
all the time.
236
00:10:00,108 --> 00:10:02,728
I love it.
And it's Athleap now.
237
00:10:02,745 --> 00:10:05,460
And the city is amazing.
238
00:10:05,594 --> 00:10:06,994
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
239
00:10:07,012 --> 00:10:09,163
Yeah, it's hot,
the music is awesome.
240
00:10:09,169 --> 00:10:10,671
And the tacos are...
[Cell phone chimes]
241
00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:11,989
- for real.
- Wow!
242
00:10:12,015 --> 00:10:14,164
That sounds incredible.
243
00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:16,066
Oh, guys.
Limo's here.
244
00:10:16,084 --> 00:10:17,741
Let's do this.
Change if you need to.
245
00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:20,499
- Whoo, whoo, whoo!
- Okay, you guys, have fun.
246
00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:22,996
You too, Andy.
247
00:10:26,365 --> 00:10:28,115
- Yeah.
- Ohh!
248
00:10:28,145 --> 00:10:29,865
- Aw!
- Whoa-ho!
249
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,919
Haven't been in one
of these in forever!
250
00:10:33,057 --> 00:10:36,559
They wanted me to go to the bachelorette
party with the girls. Really?
251
00:10:36,881 --> 00:10:38,105
Such a cliche.
252
00:10:38,123 --> 00:10:39,593
I'm a man.
253
00:10:39,615 --> 00:10:42,467
So I'm going to the bachelor
party with the boys.
254
00:10:42,847 --> 00:10:46,232
I just have to remember how
I acted before I came out.
255
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:49,851
Wassuuuuup!
[Laughing]
256
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,467
Wait. Why are we stopping?
Jim, this isn't on the itinerary.
257
00:10:56,492 --> 00:10:57,773
- Dwight.
- Jim, what--
258
00:10:57,798 --> 00:11:00,522
- Get out.
- Come on! What--
259
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:04,186
What, are you gonna
whack me, Jim?
260
00:11:04,319 --> 00:11:05,883
No, Dwight.
261
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,951
You'll be doing the whacking.
262
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,775
A bazooka.
263
00:11:14,812 --> 00:11:17,597
- You remembered.
- Of course I did.
264
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,192
[Tearful laugh]
265
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,706
Get outta my way.
266
00:11:22,476 --> 00:11:23,776
All: Oh!
267
00:11:23,836 --> 00:11:25,921
[All laugh and applaud]
268
00:11:26,357 --> 00:11:27,988
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
269
00:11:28,006 --> 00:11:29,632
Okay!
270
00:11:29,682 --> 00:11:31,766
Guten prank number two.
271
00:11:31,772 --> 00:11:33,657
[All cheering]
272
00:11:35,807 --> 00:11:36,663
Private room.
273
00:11:36,676 --> 00:11:39,307
- Yeah, brosef.
- Amazing!
274
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:40,682
Enjoy, enjoy.
275
00:11:40,707 --> 00:11:43,732
Hey, I know you. You
gonna sit here and cry?
276
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,855
- Okay, man, easy.
- [Feigning tears]
277
00:11:45,919 --> 00:11:47,905
Hey, dude, leave him alone.
What are you doing?
278
00:11:47,936 --> 00:11:49,117
Jim, it's fine.
279
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:52,568
He'll just get you on his cell
phone, and then that'll go viral.
280
00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:55,724
- That happens a lot?
- Yeah, I guess. But
281
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,702
things are going well, actually.
282
00:11:57,726 --> 00:12:00,883
I spoke at Cornell during
Commencement Week.
283
00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:05,732
I mean, the seniors invited me as a
joke, but it was a huge success.
284
00:12:06,304 --> 00:12:07,765
Well, I bet it was a smash.
285
00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:09,720
That's how I got my new job
in the admissions office.
286
00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:11,899
Is that a volunteer
program or...
287
00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:14,649
No. It's a job.
288
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,336
Things are going great.
289
00:12:17,377 --> 00:12:19,889
- Let's get a drink in you, huh?
- Yes!
290
00:12:20,345 --> 00:12:23,593
Whoo-hoo!
Let's get this party started!
291
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:24,662
Where's my angel?
292
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,727
[Both squeal and laugh]
293
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,483
This is my big sister Rachel.
294
00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:31,125
No, this is my big
sister Angela.
295
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:32,644
[Laughs]
296
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:33,962
We're very close.
297
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,846
We even have our own
special language.
298
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:38,825
[Speaking in
indistinct language]
299
00:12:38,849 --> 00:12:40,363
[Both laughing]
300
00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:42,587
People love it.
301
00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,522
They do.
302
00:12:44,925 --> 00:12:47,699
[Sighs] Man, how long
have we been sitting here?
303
00:12:47,722 --> 00:12:48,784
Hi, boys!
304
00:12:48,803 --> 00:12:50,790
All: - Ohh...
- Here we go!
305
00:12:50,809 --> 00:12:53,054
Oh, thank God.
We are famished!
306
00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:57,067
Hey, did somebody order
the chef special?
307
00:12:57,073 --> 00:12:58,248
- Right there.
- Right here.
308
00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:01,389
No, we haven't ordered anything.
No one's even taken our drinks.
309
00:13:01,407 --> 00:13:03,866
Uh, what is the chef special?
[Rihanna's S&M playing]
310
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:08,074
I bet you boys
have a big appetite.
311
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:09,953
Oh, we do.
312
00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:12,318
So we'll have an onion loaf
for the table, please.
313
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:14,488
And tell us about
your heartiest soups.
314
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,953
Mm, I know what you want.
I know exactly what you want.
315
00:13:18,978 --> 00:13:21,470
Yes, an onion loaf
for the table.
316
00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:23,833
But that's not all. Now the
chef special sounded good.
317
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:26,435
- What is it exactly?
- Ooh. Shh.
318
00:13:26,791 --> 00:13:29,641
Okay, what are you doing? Are you
giving me a taste of the chef special?
319
00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:31,272
- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm?
320
00:13:31,324 --> 00:13:32,975
Tastes like cigarettes.
321
00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:34,718
That won't work.
322
00:13:34,743 --> 00:13:36,326
That's no good.
323
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,875
- Whoo!
- What?
324
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,836
[Laughter] [Knock at door]
325
00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:42,241
- Okay.
- Oh, boy.
326
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,813
Oh!
327
00:13:45,394 --> 00:13:49,013
Heard you guys needed some pipes
fixed, or cleaned or whatever.
328
00:13:49,031 --> 00:13:51,157
Angela's special
repair man is here.
329
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:52,554
Wait, what is this?
330
00:13:52,573 --> 00:13:55,206
Shut up.
Jakey?
331
00:13:55,723 --> 00:13:57,968
- Mom?
- Wait. Wait.
332
00:13:58,032 --> 00:13:59,737
- What?
- Oh, man.
333
00:13:59,774 --> 00:14:02,545
No, no, no, no. Just do your work.
Pretend mom's not here.
334
00:14:02,569 --> 00:14:04,363
Uh, that seems inappropriate.
335
00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:07,255
Give 'em a good show,
my little entrepreneur.
336
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,703
- Okay.
- Take it off.
337
00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:10,911
[Big & Rich's Save A Horse
(Ride A Cowboy) Plays]
338
00:14:10,969 --> 00:14:12,986
Yeah!
Good song choice, Jakey.
339
00:14:13,005 --> 00:14:15,124
Stripper's only as good
as his song.
340
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,149
Oh...
341
00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:17,426
[All shriek]
342
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:19,306
Oh!
343
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:26,044
Oh, wowee wow.
344
00:14:26,579 --> 00:14:28,811
♪ Well, I walk into the room ♪
345
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:31,056
- Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
- ♪ Passin' out $100 bills ♪
346
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:33,719
Go, Meredith's stripper son.
347
00:14:34,352 --> 00:14:35,936
All: Ohh!
348
00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:37,723
- Angela, are you all right?
- I don't know!
349
00:14:37,741 --> 00:14:38,973
- I don't know.
- Oh, gee--
350
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,505
- Oh, my God!
351
00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,335
Be gentle, Jakey, gentle.
352
00:14:42,641 --> 00:14:45,385
Just a second. Just one second.
Look.
353
00:14:45,914 --> 00:14:48,112
Okay, if anything,
this is rougher!
354
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:52,150
- Stop it, Meredith!
- Fine. My bad! Go ahead, Jakey!
355
00:14:52,687 --> 00:14:54,479
Uh, no.
It's o-- thank you.
356
00:14:54,498 --> 00:14:55,779
You know what?
You don't have to--
357
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:57,219
oh! No, no, no.
358
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,592
No, no, no.
It's okay.
359
00:14:58,626 --> 00:15:01,555
Now, for the last time, I'd like
a side salad with balsamic.
360
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,969
Dwight, for the last time,
she's not a waitress.
361
00:15:03,975 --> 00:15:05,561
You're telling me!
362
00:15:05,579 --> 00:15:07,455
If you want her to
leave, just tip her.
363
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,032
What for? We haven't even
gotten bread yet.
364
00:15:10,048 --> 00:15:12,747
Does anyone wanna split
a twice baked potato?
365
00:15:12,771 --> 00:15:15,983
Do you have those?
Those aren't deep fried, right?
366
00:15:16,009 --> 00:15:17,595
That was interesting.
367
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,793
[Sighs] [Creaking]
368
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:20,901
- What was that?
- It's just the wind.
369
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,229
- Will you lock the door?
- Okay.
370
00:15:23,263 --> 00:15:25,121
[Sighs]
371
00:15:26,762 --> 00:15:28,713
It's just the wind, see?
Nothing.
372
00:15:28,742 --> 00:15:31,136
All right, you know, you don't
have to leave the door wide open.
373
00:15:31,154 --> 00:15:32,386
We get it.
It's the wind.
374
00:15:32,405 --> 00:15:34,342
Just come and shut-- oh!
My God!
375
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,013
[All screaming]
376
00:15:36,032 --> 00:15:38,306
- Phyllis!
- What's happening?
377
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:40,794
Oh, man, never thought
I'd say this,
378
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,793
but I think I ate too much
bone marrow. [Phone ringing]
379
00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:44,277
Oh, it's the girls.
380
00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:46,464
Hey, Pam.
What?
381
00:15:46,986 --> 00:15:49,003
Angela's been kidnapped!
382
00:15:49,353 --> 00:15:52,997
Phyllis left the door open and some
freak came and grabbed her and fled.
383
00:15:53,022 --> 00:15:54,690
Good old Mose.
[Laughing]
384
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:57,417
They think it was Mose.
385
00:15:57,496 --> 00:16:00,259
Oh, great, he's getting into
the spirit of the festivities.
386
00:16:00,289 --> 00:16:03,093
Fantastic. He just pulled
off a braut entfuhrung.
387
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,124
What is that?
388
00:16:04,142 --> 00:16:05,851
A ceremonial bridal kidnapping.
389
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:09,401
He will take the bride
and hide her at a local pub.
390
00:16:09,432 --> 00:16:12,345
And when I find the place,
I have to buy everyone drinks.
391
00:16:12,378 --> 00:16:15,080
Ah. All right!
Oh, Mose!
392
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:15,930
Wait a minute.
393
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:19,886
You said the tradition is for the groom
to search for her, and it ends at a pub.
394
00:16:19,904 --> 00:16:23,739
So how about the last pub you'd
ever set foot in in this town?
395
00:16:23,824 --> 00:16:26,030
- Right. Which one is that?
- Mm,
396
00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:29,982
hey, driver, why don't you
take us to 3030 Adams?
397
00:16:35,569 --> 00:16:39,055
- Is that Mose?
- Yes, it is!
398
00:16:39,268 --> 00:16:41,639
I am here for my bride!
[Giggles]
399
00:16:41,658 --> 00:16:43,514
Well, first, buy us a drink.
400
00:16:43,551 --> 00:16:46,153
All: ♪ if you want your bride,
buy us a drink ♪
401
00:16:46,184 --> 00:16:48,669
♪ If you want your bride,
buy us a drink ♪
402
00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:50,485
Very well!
Drinks on me!
403
00:16:50,515 --> 00:16:51,629
[All cheering]
404
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:52,867
Bartender!
405
00:16:52,893 --> 00:16:54,727
[Gasps]
406
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:58,851
Well, well, well, well, well.
407
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,597
That's six "wells."
408
00:17:01,891 --> 00:17:05,460
Did I get that number
right, Dwight?
409
00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:07,879
I heard
you bought a bar, Kevin.
410
00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:10,017
Yes. I did.
411
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,865
This one.
412
00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:14,612
Now get out!
413
00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:17,811
Why did you pick this place?
414
00:17:17,952 --> 00:17:20,038
- Ohh.
- You?
415
00:17:20,198 --> 00:17:22,807
You did this as a prank.
My own bestisch mensch.
416
00:17:22,822 --> 00:17:24,601
Nope, not a prank.
417
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,524
- I think it's time for you to
bury the hatchet. - [Scoffs]
418
00:17:26,549 --> 00:17:30,212
- Waste of a good hatchet.
- Okay, just talk.
419
00:17:32,749 --> 00:17:35,699
- Well, w--
- I heard you say "well" the first time,
420
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,604
I know Dwight misses Kevin.
421
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,773
I saw him making his portrait
out of a Wooly Willy.
422
00:17:41,218 --> 00:17:42,957
Tomorrow's his wedding day.
423
00:17:42,999 --> 00:17:45,350
You can't be anything but happy
on your wedding day.
424
00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:47,671
It was nothing personal.
425
00:17:47,714 --> 00:17:50,158
It's just that you were
terrible at your job.
426
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,022
You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
427
00:17:52,047 --> 00:17:54,688
No, really.
You were terrible at math...
428
00:17:54,721 --> 00:17:58,658
and organization, time
management, personal hygiene.
429
00:17:58,692 --> 00:18:02,335
Your internet searches were so filthy
we had to throw out your computer.
430
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,232
Is that all it was?
431
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,214
That's it.
432
00:18:07,717 --> 00:18:09,463
Come here.
433
00:18:09,776 --> 00:18:10,739
I missed you, Kevin.
434
00:18:10,751 --> 00:18:13,627
- I missed you!
- Ohh.
435
00:18:13,774 --> 00:18:15,942
- Guten prank.
- Yes, Mose.
436
00:18:16,144 --> 00:18:19,298
Guten prank number three.
437
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:23,582
You've had your drink.
Now where is my bride?
438
00:18:23,599 --> 00:18:25,504
[All cheering]
439
00:18:25,795 --> 00:18:28,345
Mose! What...
440
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,813
Ohh, Mose.
441
00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:35,263
What the fuck is your problem,
you fucking piece of shit?
443
00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,401
Hey, is Angela coming, or--
444
00:18:41,426 --> 00:18:43,706
No. We can't see each other
on our wedding day.
445
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,815
And her legs are still numb
from being in the trunk.
446
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,408
- Right.
- Hey, guys.
447
00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:49,102
All: Stanley!
448
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:51,675
- How's Florida?
- Oh, great.
449
00:18:51,688 --> 00:18:53,620
Yes, I'm living in Florida now.
450
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,614
Little town
called Florida City,
451
00:18:55,641 --> 00:18:57,894
just on the edge
of the Everglades.
452
00:18:57,906 --> 00:18:59,757
The man who delivered
my divorce papers
453
00:18:59,782 --> 00:19:02,963
came by fan boat,
which was kinda fun.
454
00:19:03,191 --> 00:19:06,668
I sit on my porch all
day, carving birds.
455
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,803
Am I the only one
that's nervous? Heh heh.
456
00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:10,991
How are you doing with this?
Should we have bailed?
457
00:19:11,028 --> 00:19:12,906
No, no, I'm fine.
458
00:19:13,017 --> 00:19:16,199
Doesn't seem like anyone
cares about us anyway.
459
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:21,179
I guess this was worth being
filmed nonstop for nine years.
460
00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:24,371
I'm sorry, guys.
This is probably on me.
461
00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:27,402
I got hated on pretty hard
when that auto-tune went viral.
462
00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:30,319
♪ Just sit here and cry,
just sit here and cry ♪
463
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:33,783
♪ Oh, I can so just
sit here and cry ♪
464
00:19:33,808 --> 00:19:35,405
♪ You guys are really mean ♪
465
00:19:35,436 --> 00:19:36,837
♪ It can't end like this,
you know ♪
466
00:19:36,864 --> 00:19:38,756
♪ Slept in my car last
night, quit my job ♪
467
00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:39,933
♪ Burned all my bridges ♪
468
00:19:39,952 --> 00:19:41,937
♪ And I did unspeakable things ♪
469
00:19:41,955 --> 00:19:43,497
♪ You're just not good ♪
470
00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:44,950
♪ You're just not good ♪
471
00:19:44,962 --> 00:19:46,400
♪ Are you insane? ♪
472
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:47,986
♪ You're just not good ♪
473
00:19:47,992 --> 00:19:49,443
♪ You're just not good ♪
474
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,262
♪ Chill out ♪ [Crying]
475
00:19:51,336 --> 00:19:53,308
[Giggling]
♪ just sit here and cry ♪
476
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:55,716
People actually dance to this.
477
00:19:55,743 --> 00:19:57,983
It's in my juke box.
478
00:19:58,232 --> 00:20:00,545
None of the money
goes to Andy, though.
479
00:20:00,563 --> 00:20:03,015
♪ Cry, cry, cry ♪
480
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,157
[Laughing]
481
00:20:04,182 --> 00:20:06,663
Yeah, people hate you.
482
00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:11,128
I'll go talk to the manager.
Maybe we should just go home.
483
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,374
Hey, it's Andy Bernard.
484
00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:19,696
All: Nard Dog!
485
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:22,551
[Cheers and applause]
486
00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,219
Roo-doo-doo-doo!
487
00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:26,388
All: Roo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
488
00:20:26,423 --> 00:20:28,257
Roo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
489
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,225
Roo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
490
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,261
Roo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
491
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:34,160
Roo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
492
00:20:34,213 --> 00:20:37,766
[Cheers and applause]
493
00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:43,101
How did it feel to see your
lives played out on TV?
494
00:20:43,135 --> 00:20:46,318
It's like seeing a documentary
about how your food is made.
495
00:20:46,505 --> 00:20:48,031
It's kinda disgusting.
496
00:20:48,070 --> 00:20:50,704
You learn a lot, but I didn't
wanna know any of it.
497
00:20:50,722 --> 00:20:53,529
With today's modern
surveillance technology,
498
00:20:53,548 --> 00:20:57,435
we are in a constant
state of being watched,
499
00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,160
whether it's our government or the
government of other countries,
500
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,877
AKA Google.
501
00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:05,079
You guys are being filmed
way more than we ever were.
502
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:06,850
Uh, no one recognizes me.
503
00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:09,113
But now all my friends
call me Plop.
504
00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:10,113
So...
505
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:12,007
thanks, PBS.
[Laughter]
506
00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:15,928
Uh, Jim, that DVD in
the last episode was
507
00:21:15,947 --> 00:21:17,406
so romantic.
508
00:21:17,424 --> 00:21:19,794
And, um, I think
we'd all love to know,
509
00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:25,187
Pam, what romantic thing did you do
to pay Jim back for leaving Athlead?
510
00:21:25,221 --> 00:21:30,409
Well, I mean, how do you pay back
someone for something like that?
511
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:34,137
But, uh, I don't know.
I'm working on something.
512
00:21:34,663 --> 00:21:37,600
She pays me back every day,
just by being my wife.
513
00:21:37,618 --> 00:21:38,918
So that's fine.
514
00:21:38,936 --> 00:21:40,971
All: Aww.
515
00:21:41,028 --> 00:21:42,928
O-kay.
516
00:21:43,121 --> 00:21:45,987
All I can say is, if I had Jim,
517
00:21:45,993 --> 00:21:48,991
he would have a free pass
to do anything.
518
00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:51,655
I mean, if I lucked into that,
519
00:21:52,256 --> 00:21:53,719
he could do anything--
520
00:21:53,742 --> 00:21:55,325
anything.
521
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,995
I'm sorry, is there a question?
522
00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:00,446
Uh,
523
00:22:00,471 --> 00:22:02,102
no.
524
00:22:02,512 --> 00:22:04,977
Pam, what was in
that teapot letter?
525
00:22:05,395 --> 00:22:07,794
Oh, um,
well, you know, I--
526
00:22:07,878 --> 00:22:10,997
I just-- I think I would rather
keep that private.
527
00:22:11,462 --> 00:22:13,734
You know, if you'd been filmed
for nine years of your life,
528
00:22:13,739 --> 00:22:16,145
there'd be some things that you
just wanna keep to yourself.
529
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:19,406
I hear ya.
What did it say?
530
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,901
We're gonna move on.
Next question, please.
531
00:22:22,936 --> 00:22:25,162
Do you find that your
life feels pointless
532
00:22:25,168 --> 00:22:28,001
now that nobody's actually
filming you anymore?
533
00:22:28,271 --> 00:22:29,784
Yes.
534
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:35,003
I wanna know how everyone
felt they were portrayed.
535
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:37,294
- Was it accurate?
- I got a beef with that.
536
00:22:37,306 --> 00:22:39,424
Um, for the first seven years,
537
00:22:39,454 --> 00:22:42,854
I was getting my PhD in school
psychology, and they didn't show it.
538
00:22:42,872 --> 00:22:44,796
Yes, I was getting hammered.
539
00:22:44,829 --> 00:22:48,384
But, hey, it was college.
540
00:22:49,681 --> 00:22:51,912
I have a question
for Jim and Pam.
541
00:22:51,991 --> 00:22:53,434
Everyone watching
542
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:57,529
sees how much you love each other
and how you're soul mates.
543
00:22:58,073 --> 00:23:02,141
So, Pam, how could you doubt that
when Jim moved to Philadelphia?
544
00:23:02,242 --> 00:23:06,463
Um, you know what, I actually didn't
handle that move, uh, very gracefully,
545
00:23:06,494 --> 00:23:10,869
from not communicating
to being a little selfish.
546
00:23:10,937 --> 00:23:12,622
Listen, um...
547
00:23:12,712 --> 00:23:14,400
I was scared,
548
00:23:14,906 --> 00:23:18,498
you know? I loved what I had,
and I didn't wanna risk it.
549
00:23:18,638 --> 00:23:22,860
And I think that maybe
I did doubt him a little too.
550
00:23:23,796 --> 00:23:27,378
Which was wrong, because he's
shown me time and again.
551
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,750
But when the documentary started
airing, people on the street told me
552
00:23:30,769 --> 00:23:33,330
that I had this
fairy-tale romance.
553
00:23:33,697 --> 00:23:38,142
But there were a lot of times last year
when it did not feel like a fairy tale.
554
00:23:38,734 --> 00:23:42,362
But then it got deeper,
and it got stronger,
555
00:23:42,408 --> 00:23:44,716
and now it's better
than a fairy tale.
556
00:23:44,911 --> 00:23:49,692
It's like a long book that
you never want to end.
557
00:23:49,716 --> 00:23:52,129
And you're fine with that, because
558
00:23:52,173 --> 00:23:54,393
you just never, ever
wanna leave it.
559
00:23:54,412 --> 00:23:55,762
All: Aww.
560
00:23:55,775 --> 00:23:57,693
Like Harry Potter.
561
00:23:58,096 --> 00:24:00,382
Yeah, like Harry Potter.
562
00:24:00,878 --> 00:24:03,847
I have a question for Erin.
563
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,782
- Really?
- Yes.
564
00:24:05,788 --> 00:24:08,798
Um, the thing I found
most compelling
565
00:24:08,810 --> 00:24:11,179
about the documentary was
566
00:24:11,204 --> 00:24:13,735
your search for
your birth mother.
567
00:24:14,215 --> 00:24:15,884
Thank you.
568
00:24:16,157 --> 00:24:20,651
So my question is, um,
do-- don't you hate her?
569
00:24:20,663 --> 00:24:24,578
I mean, I would just imagine
that you were so angry at her
570
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:26,798
that you would hate her.
571
00:24:28,210 --> 00:24:30,096
Maybe sometimes.
572
00:24:30,210 --> 00:24:32,612
But not like hate hate.
573
00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:34,893
More just like,
574
00:24:34,924 --> 00:24:36,517
"mom, I hate you!"
575
00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:40,334
And then she would say,
"go to your room, young lady."
576
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:42,428
And I'd stamp my foot
and run upstairs.
577
00:24:42,447 --> 00:24:45,739
And I have a room,
which is really cool.
578
00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:48,071
And then we'd just
have dinner together.
579
00:24:48,407 --> 00:24:49,928
But I don't know.
I'd have to meet her.
580
00:24:49,977 --> 00:24:50,754
[Laughs]
581
00:24:50,779 --> 00:24:52,779
Thanks.
582
00:24:55,075 --> 00:24:56,887
Erin...
583
00:24:56,931 --> 00:24:58,999
Yes?
584
00:24:59,990 --> 00:25:01,573
Um...
585
00:25:01,895 --> 00:25:03,639
Oh,
586
00:25:03,664 --> 00:25:05,664
Erin...
587
00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:11,107
Yes? Is there a
follow-up question?
588
00:25:17,588 --> 00:25:19,649
Mom?
589
00:25:21,444 --> 00:25:23,013
All: Aww.
590
00:25:23,035 --> 00:25:26,037
[Applause]
591
00:25:32,284 --> 00:25:33,797
Erin...
592
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:36,988
same question,
but about your dad?
593
00:25:42,513 --> 00:25:45,348
Well, this feels like
a good place to stop.
594
00:25:45,441 --> 00:25:47,500
Let's thank all
of our wonderful panelists
595
00:25:47,513 --> 00:25:50,919
for being here on this
wonderful panel today.
596
00:25:56,726 --> 00:25:58,928
Next week at the Scranton
Cultural Center,
597
00:25:58,946 --> 00:26:01,933
don't forget, Irish step
dancing semifinals.
598
00:26:01,939 --> 00:26:03,971
Winning team
to Mid-Atlantic.
599
00:26:03,999 --> 00:26:07,435
[Applause]
600
00:26:12,341 --> 00:26:14,442
[Scattered cheers]
601
00:27:32,795 --> 00:27:36,161
- Where is the basket for gifts?
- Right there, sir.
602
00:27:38,317 --> 00:27:40,239
Hi. I'm Dakota.
603
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,317
Jeff Bomondo.
604
00:27:41,329 --> 00:27:43,003
I sell ceramic tile
out of Newark.
605
00:27:43,034 --> 00:27:44,934
- Nice.
- My wife's name is Kathryn.
606
00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:48,558
I can show you my social
security card, if it helps.
607
00:27:52,168 --> 00:27:53,235
Uck.
608
00:27:53,260 --> 00:27:54,566
Look at this mud.
609
00:27:54,626 --> 00:27:56,701
Can you imagine if I had
worn my Jimmy Choos?
610
00:27:56,713 --> 00:27:58,910
I just saved you
600 bucks, mister.
611
00:27:58,947 --> 00:28:01,153
- Thanks for helping out, sweetie.
- Mm.
612
00:28:01,199 --> 00:28:02,602
Kelly.
613
00:28:02,627 --> 00:28:03,796
You're here.
614
00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,839
- Hey, Ryan!
- Hey.
615
00:28:06,126 --> 00:28:08,806
Whose baby is this? Oh, are
you, like, a manny now?
616
00:28:08,818 --> 00:28:11,222
No, this little guy is mine.
617
00:28:11,945 --> 00:28:13,624
So I was dating this girl,
618
00:28:13,643 --> 00:28:17,483
and one day, she went out to get a
new charger for her e-cigarette.
619
00:28:17,528 --> 00:28:19,325
Never came back.
620
00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:21,562
Oldest story in the book.
621
00:28:21,606 --> 00:28:22,799
[Baby squeals]
622
00:28:22,812 --> 00:28:23,962
Say "hi," Drake.
623
00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:25,909
- Drake is your baby's name?
- Yeah.
624
00:28:25,922 --> 00:28:28,434
That is an amazing name.
I'm obsessed with Drake.
625
00:28:28,550 --> 00:28:30,751
His last album, it just
touched me to pieces.
626
00:28:30,769 --> 00:28:33,201
No, Kelly, he's not named after
a hip-hop artist from 2011.
627
00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:35,983
It's Drake, like a mix
of Drew and Blake.
628
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,452
Cool.
629
00:28:37,670 --> 00:28:41,122
Well, he is so cute.
Ravi, check out this cute baby.
630
00:28:41,184 --> 00:28:42,448
- I'm obsessed with him.
- Oh?
631
00:28:42,478 --> 00:28:45,947
Ravi is a pediatrician. And some
of his patients are total uggos.
632
00:28:45,959 --> 00:28:47,988
They're called
premature, sweetie.
633
00:28:48,016 --> 00:28:50,951
- Yeah.
- It's good to see you again, Ryan.
634
00:28:51,490 --> 00:28:53,387
- Let me help you up.
- Thanks.
635
00:28:53,826 --> 00:28:55,602
- Ooh! Oh!
- Ow!
636
00:28:55,626 --> 00:28:57,343
Oh, boy, maybe your
heels are too high.
637
00:28:57,362 --> 00:28:59,188
No, my heels aren't too high.
638
00:28:59,246 --> 00:29:01,873
It's because I spent
three hours in a car trunk.
639
00:29:01,943 --> 00:29:04,806
Thanks for not locking the door
when I asked you to, Phyllis.
640
00:29:04,889 --> 00:29:06,816
- Ohh.
- [Sighs]
641
00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:10,733
Sorry, Phyllis.
You didn't know.
642
00:29:10,809 --> 00:29:12,590
As long as I can get
to the altar.
643
00:29:12,608 --> 00:29:14,938
Oh, I'm gonna get you
to that altar.
644
00:29:14,979 --> 00:29:17,594
You can take that to the bank.
645
00:29:19,178 --> 00:29:21,921
- You ready?
- [Chuckles] You kidding?
646
00:29:22,077 --> 00:29:23,547
I was born ready.
647
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:24,719
[Mimicking heavy metal guitars]
648
00:29:24,737 --> 00:29:26,138
Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.
649
00:29:26,166 --> 00:29:28,019
Um...
650
00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:30,585
I don't know
how to tell you this, but...
651
00:29:30,703 --> 00:29:32,466
we have a little
bit of a problem.
652
00:29:32,636 --> 00:29:34,474
Oh, no.
What?
653
00:29:34,608 --> 00:29:37,137
The minister just told me
that it's tradition
654
00:29:37,148 --> 00:29:40,748
for the bestisch mensch
to be older than the groom.
655
00:29:40,853 --> 00:29:42,068
Oh, come on.
656
00:29:42,086 --> 00:29:45,187
- I've never heard of such a thing.
- I haven't heard of it, obviously.
657
00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:48,053
But I'm out, because I'm
significantly younger than you.
658
00:29:48,072 --> 00:29:51,453
- Not-- significant is a big word.
- I think it's definitely-- well, okay.
659
00:29:51,477 --> 00:29:53,472
- Either way-- Either way,
- I think you're only a teeny--
660
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:55,352
Dwight...
661
00:29:56,029 --> 00:29:58,480
I can't be there for you.
662
00:29:58,874 --> 00:30:00,268
I'm sorry.
663
00:30:01,079 --> 00:30:02,329
Jim.
664
00:30:02,370 --> 00:30:03,788
I just...
665
00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:06,771
really wish there was
something I could do.
666
00:30:14,868 --> 00:30:16,754
[Whispering] Michael.
667
00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:20,744
I can't believe you came.
668
00:30:20,987 --> 00:30:22,892
That's what she said.
669
00:30:24,767 --> 00:30:27,736
[Laughing]
670
00:30:28,739 --> 00:30:30,397
Best prank ever.
671
00:30:30,416 --> 00:30:31,524
Yeah!
672
00:30:31,572 --> 00:30:34,525
[Playing Sweet Child O' Mine]
673
00:30:34,734 --> 00:30:42,757
♪
674
00:30:57,916 --> 00:31:00,293
As is traditional
to the Schrutes,
675
00:31:00,324 --> 00:31:03,250
the lovers are standing
in their own graves
676
00:31:03,275 --> 00:31:07,658
as a reminder that this
is the only escape
677
00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:10,008
from what they are about to do.
678
00:31:10,527 --> 00:31:13,985
See, I get what they're trying to do,
but why are the graves so shallow?
679
00:31:14,169 --> 00:31:15,961
Ugh.
680
00:31:22,056 --> 00:31:27,004
"Arise, my love, my fair
one, and come away.
681
00:31:27,102 --> 00:31:30,232
For lo, the winter is passed.
682
00:31:30,582 --> 00:31:33,863
The rain is over and gone.
683
00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:37,438
The time of singing has come,
684
00:31:37,456 --> 00:31:39,879
and the voice
of the turtle dove
685
00:31:39,903 --> 00:31:42,538
is heard in our land.
686
00:31:42,748 --> 00:31:46,910
Let me see your face.
Let me hear your voice.
687
00:31:47,116 --> 00:31:49,284
For your voice is sweet,
688
00:31:49,378 --> 00:31:52,993
and your face is comely."
689
00:31:53,658 --> 00:31:56,783
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
690
00:31:56,959 --> 00:32:01,545
[Cheers and applause]
691
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,385
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
692
00:32:04,432 --> 00:32:05,504
Whoo!
693
00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:08,068
Release the doves!
694
00:32:08,619 --> 00:32:12,015
All: Ooh!
695
00:32:12,697 --> 00:32:13,947
Oh.
696
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,217
That's--
697
00:32:15,555 --> 00:32:16,674
Go.
698
00:32:16,699 --> 00:32:18,549
- That's not--
- [Gasps]
699
00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:21,597
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you so much for coming.
700
00:32:21,777 --> 00:32:24,932
Now, please take
your hay bales to the reception.
701
00:32:24,951 --> 00:32:26,345
They'll be used for seating.
702
00:32:26,376 --> 00:32:29,150
Complimentary hay hooks
are placed along the aisles.
703
00:32:29,176 --> 00:32:31,210
Just stab 'em on in there.
704
00:32:33,536 --> 00:32:34,753
[Straining]
705
00:32:34,804 --> 00:32:36,705
[Indistinct chatter]
706
00:32:36,827 --> 00:32:38,341
- Agh!
- You get it?
707
00:32:43,519 --> 00:32:46,671
♪ Angela, I'll be there for ya ♪
708
00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:50,734
♪ And when the storms
scream Angela ♪
709
00:32:51,041 --> 00:32:55,363
♪ Angela, I'll be there, yeah ♪
710
00:32:56,152 --> 00:32:58,763
♪ Oh, Angela ♪
711
00:32:59,838 --> 00:33:01,950
♪ Oh, Angela ♪
712
00:33:01,998 --> 00:33:05,917
♪ When the winds cry Angela ♪
713
00:33:06,084 --> 00:33:07,050
♪ Angela ♪
714
00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:09,169
Everybody.
715
00:33:09,203 --> 00:33:13,851
♪ Shout it, hey,
here comes my girl ♪
716
00:33:15,068 --> 00:33:18,738
♪ Here comes my girl ♪
717
00:33:19,181 --> 00:33:21,506
See, now you don't
owe me anything.
718
00:33:21,537 --> 00:33:25,383
♪ Yeah, she looks so right ♪
719
00:33:25,392 --> 00:33:28,528
♪ She is all I need ♪
720
00:33:28,586 --> 00:33:30,053
Ravi?
721
00:33:30,276 --> 00:33:31,532
Ravi?
722
00:33:31,624 --> 00:33:33,290
Drake has a bit of a rash.
723
00:33:33,296 --> 00:33:35,606
- And he's hot.
- Oh, no.
724
00:33:35,624 --> 00:33:37,700
I was wondering, could you maybe
examine him for a second?
725
00:33:37,718 --> 00:33:39,983
Oh, yeah, you're not
feeling well, little guy?
726
00:33:40,001 --> 00:33:43,207
- Okay, sure. Should we go inside?
- Actually, could you go inside?
727
00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:45,139
I'm feeling a little dehydrated.
728
00:33:45,183 --> 00:33:47,277
I could really use a little
break, have some water.
729
00:33:47,302 --> 00:33:48,784
Are you sure
you don't wanna go in?
730
00:33:48,805 --> 00:33:51,169
Ravi, just do it.
That baby is burning up.
731
00:33:51,187 --> 00:33:52,703
Isn't this, like,
what you live for?
732
00:33:52,709 --> 00:33:54,270
- Just go, go!
- Thank you, Ravi.
733
00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:55,518
Thank you so much.
734
00:33:55,543 --> 00:33:57,937
This is great for me and for Drake.
Thank you.
735
00:33:59,807 --> 00:34:01,624
[Sighs]
736
00:34:02,272 --> 00:34:05,003
I don't know, Ryan.
Baby Drake didn't look so good.
737
00:34:05,026 --> 00:34:06,966
He'll be fine. I let him
suck on a strawberry.
738
00:34:06,985 --> 00:34:10,079
He's allergic, but he'll get over it fast.
I had to talk to you.
739
00:34:10,366 --> 00:34:14,529
You gave your baby an allergic
reaction just to talk to me?
740
00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:19,957
Mm. Mmm.
741
00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:22,993
♪ Sara smile ♪
742
00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:26,807
Michael has so many pictures of his kids,
he had to get two phones
743
00:34:26,819 --> 00:34:30,217
- with two numbers, and he pays two bills.
- Oh, my gosh, it's choreographed!
744
00:34:30,229 --> 00:34:33,465
He's just so happy
to have a family plan.
745
00:34:33,471 --> 00:34:36,456
[The Cars' You Might Think]
746
00:34:36,474 --> 00:34:39,476
♪
747
00:34:40,059 --> 00:34:42,138
- Where'd you learn to dance like that?
- I don't know.
748
00:34:42,156 --> 00:34:45,516
I've just always been
really good at dancing.
749
00:34:47,246 --> 00:34:48,284
[Sobbing]
750
00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:52,491
♪ I'll meet you
in the middle of a hurricane ♪
751
00:34:53,107 --> 00:34:54,919
Is it me?
752
00:34:55,616 --> 00:34:57,269
Is it Nellie?
753
00:34:57,523 --> 00:34:59,911
[Sobbing] It's everything.
754
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:04,922
♪ I'll meet you in the
middle of a sad song ♪
755
00:35:05,503 --> 00:35:07,172
♪ So free and easy ♪
756
00:35:07,178 --> 00:35:08,698
I missed you.
757
00:35:08,979 --> 00:35:10,235
I missed you too.
758
00:35:10,258 --> 00:35:12,778
♪ I'm excited just by
touching your hand ♪
759
00:35:12,797 --> 00:35:15,829
Lots of people think that Stanley
Hudson's a mean old grump.
760
00:35:15,852 --> 00:35:17,219
[Laughs]
761
00:35:17,265 --> 00:35:18,621
But...
[Crying]
762
00:35:18,678 --> 00:35:21,309
Would a grump make this?
763
00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,969
It's me.
764
00:35:26,133 --> 00:35:28,372
It's me.
765
00:35:28,657 --> 00:35:32,293
♪ I wanna run with
you, fast as I can ♪
766
00:35:32,327 --> 00:35:34,102
- I love you.
- [Laughing] I love you too.
767
00:35:34,121 --> 00:35:36,752
- We're gonna be together forever.
- We're running off into the sunset.
768
00:35:36,807 --> 00:35:39,370
I finally mastered commitment.
769
00:35:46,465 --> 00:35:49,467
♪ I just wanna be your lover,
ain't no liar ♪
770
00:35:49,485 --> 00:35:52,154
♪ Rosalita, you're
my stone desire ♪
771
00:35:52,188 --> 00:35:54,523
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
772
00:35:58,330 --> 00:35:59,479
What was that stuff?
773
00:35:59,497 --> 00:36:02,054
Hey, has anyone seen Ryan...
or Kelly?
774
00:36:02,111 --> 00:36:03,670
Ooh! Yes.
775
00:36:03,699 --> 00:36:06,498
Uh, they left together
a little while ago.
776
00:36:06,594 --> 00:36:09,475
Kelly was hoping that you
would keep the baby,
777
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,015
so they can start
a new life together.
778
00:36:12,081 --> 00:36:14,950
Oh, that's it.
Here.
779
00:36:15,132 --> 00:36:17,807
Call Child Services
and report an abandoned baby.
780
00:36:17,822 --> 00:36:20,086
We'll find a better parent
than Ryan in no time.
781
00:36:20,151 --> 00:36:22,290
Oh, I don't know.
782
00:36:22,415 --> 00:36:24,416
Um, Kevin?
783
00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:27,334
Oh, I can help you with that.
Yeah.
784
00:36:27,378 --> 00:36:31,342
I mean, I can find someone who will--
who will love that... [Baby cooing]
785
00:36:31,535 --> 00:36:33,703
Beautiful little boy
the way he deserves.
786
00:36:33,738 --> 00:36:35,213
Hey.
787
00:36:35,238 --> 00:36:36,444
This is better.
788
00:36:36,469 --> 00:36:39,375
- Yes! It is.
- Hi.
789
00:36:39,498 --> 00:36:41,136
- Oh, yes.
- Hey.
790
00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:43,191
Yes, it is.
791
00:36:43,387 --> 00:36:45,044
Oh, yes, it is!
792
00:36:45,063 --> 00:36:49,015
If Ryan wants his baby back,
please tell him where to find me.
793
00:36:49,304 --> 00:36:51,045
We'll be somewhere in Europe.
794
00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:52,576
[Laughing]
795
00:36:52,714 --> 00:36:55,282
Won't we?
[Drake laughing]
796
00:36:55,301 --> 00:36:58,303
[Indistinct chatter]
797
00:37:01,430 --> 00:37:03,760
[Crying] I feel like
all my kids grew up,
798
00:37:03,787 --> 00:37:06,491
and then they married
each other.
799
00:37:07,839 --> 00:37:10,216
It's every parent's dream.
800
00:37:10,727 --> 00:37:12,142
- Thank you so much.
- Good night.
801
00:37:12,173 --> 00:37:14,503
- Good luck. - Great. It was really fun.
- Good evening.
802
00:37:14,522 --> 00:37:17,253
The doc crew's throwing a big after
party in the warehouse tonight.
803
00:37:17,278 --> 00:37:19,361
Yeah, I heard.
It sounds kinda lame.
804
00:37:19,407 --> 00:37:20,820
No offense.
805
00:37:20,845 --> 00:37:22,070
You going, Toby?
806
00:37:22,098 --> 00:37:24,399
Oh, I don't know.
I might turn in early.
807
00:37:24,459 --> 00:37:26,293
It's only 6:00.
808
00:37:26,332 --> 00:37:28,199
- Come on, everybody's going.
- You have to go, Toby.
809
00:37:28,233 --> 00:37:29,751
- Yeah, come on, Tobes.
- Come on, Toby.
810
00:37:29,785 --> 00:37:31,529
- Come on!
- Yeah, I'll stop by.
811
00:37:31,555 --> 00:37:32,714
[All cheering]
812
00:37:32,739 --> 00:37:34,285
There he is.
813
00:37:42,790 --> 00:37:44,215
[Sighs]
814
00:37:45,442 --> 00:37:48,679
- I need to get out of this dress.
- I gotta get out of this dress.
815
00:37:50,304 --> 00:37:52,331
Oh, I'm sorry, Pam.
816
00:37:52,601 --> 00:37:54,764
- What's going on?
- [Sighs]
817
00:37:55,334 --> 00:37:56,613
[Whispering]
Why are you still here?
818
00:37:56,632 --> 00:37:59,051
I'm so sorry.
They were an hour late.
819
00:37:59,131 --> 00:38:02,550
- No, really, what's going on?
- Okay, okay. Um...
820
00:38:03,248 --> 00:38:04,473
So...
821
00:38:04,498 --> 00:38:07,479
this past year has
been really great,
822
00:38:07,491 --> 00:38:10,202
and you've been great, and...
823
00:38:10,775 --> 00:38:13,263
I just-- I know that you had
to make this choice,
824
00:38:13,276 --> 00:38:14,805
and you had to give
something up for me.
825
00:38:14,817 --> 00:38:17,835
But I never want you to
have to give up anything.
826
00:38:17,869 --> 00:38:20,569
I just thought if I
could get us an offer,
827
00:38:20,581 --> 00:38:22,680
then there wouldn't be
anything standing in our way,
828
00:38:22,692 --> 00:38:24,938
and I could come
to you with this
829
00:38:24,963 --> 00:38:27,326
big Jim gesture...
830
00:38:27,354 --> 00:38:30,457
and show you all at once
just how much I love you,
831
00:38:30,485 --> 00:38:33,821
and how much I really do
believe in your future.
832
00:38:34,325 --> 00:38:35,962
Sorry, how long have you been
showing the house?
833
00:38:35,986 --> 00:38:37,609
About two months.
834
00:38:37,634 --> 00:38:39,865
- That's why it's so clean.
- Yeah.
835
00:38:40,115 --> 00:38:42,883
I mean, you were gonna do this
without me?
836
00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:45,904
Well, you-- you bought
the house without telling me,
837
00:38:45,910 --> 00:38:48,738
so I thought I could sell
it without telling you.
838
00:38:48,957 --> 00:38:51,337
- Oh... okay.
- [Laughs]
839
00:38:52,657 --> 00:38:54,241
Where would we go?
840
00:38:54,638 --> 00:38:56,135
Austin?
841
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,038
Maybe.
842
00:38:58,100 --> 00:38:59,720
I promise you...
843
00:38:59,733 --> 00:39:01,533
you don't have to
do this for me.
844
00:39:01,564 --> 00:39:03,565
I'm doing it for us.
845
00:39:04,352 --> 00:39:05,356
- Okay.
- The last--
846
00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:07,087
- We'll take it.
- Hold on one second.
847
00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:09,612
The last few months have
meant the world to me.
848
00:39:09,624 --> 00:39:11,142
- And all I care about--
- Hold on a second.
849
00:39:11,167 --> 00:39:14,277
- Wait, what did you just say?
- We wanna buy your house.
850
00:39:15,406 --> 00:39:17,079
[Laughing]
851
00:39:19,074 --> 00:39:21,654
- You wanna do this?
- I wanna do this.
852
00:39:21,711 --> 00:39:24,430
- You really wanna do this?
- I really wanna do this!
853
00:39:25,137 --> 00:39:27,331
[Both laughing]
854
00:39:27,487 --> 00:39:29,237
Oh, my God.
855
00:39:29,616 --> 00:39:31,950
[Rap music playing]
856
00:39:32,639 --> 00:39:34,507
Hey, Darryl.
857
00:39:36,643 --> 00:39:38,371
What?
858
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:41,738
- Yeah.
- All right!
859
00:39:41,871 --> 00:39:43,895
We're so excited.
860
00:39:45,738 --> 00:39:48,244
- Cool.
- Oh, that's for PBS executives only.
861
00:39:48,270 --> 00:39:52,892
I had to pledge $50 to my local
PBS station just to get this.
862
00:39:54,398 --> 00:39:56,264
I think your ideas
are fantastic, Oscar.
863
00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:58,181
I'd love to contribute
to your campaign.
864
00:39:58,215 --> 00:39:59,888
Thank you, David.
865
00:40:00,901 --> 00:40:03,979
Uh, could I please
have your attention?
866
00:40:04,561 --> 00:40:08,047
So a year ago, I got my
first art commission
867
00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:10,289
to paint a mural
for Dunder Mifflin.
868
00:40:10,307 --> 00:40:13,887
And I decided to paint
the history of paper,
869
00:40:14,277 --> 00:40:15,932
which was just some
trees and stuff.
870
00:40:15,956 --> 00:40:18,974
And then someone spray painted
a bunch of butts on it,
871
00:40:19,011 --> 00:40:21,071
and I had to start
from the beginning.
872
00:40:21,102 --> 00:40:23,801
But it all worked out
for the best,
873
00:40:23,843 --> 00:40:27,493
because I think that
I've painted the perfect thing,
874
00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:29,522
which is the history of us.
875
00:40:29,581 --> 00:40:31,156
All of us.
876
00:40:32,398 --> 00:40:33,797
And this is for you, Jim.
877
00:40:33,821 --> 00:40:35,260
[Applause]
878
00:40:35,291 --> 00:40:37,291
And go ahead!
879
00:40:38,138 --> 00:40:40,639
[All cheering]
880
00:40:44,677 --> 00:40:48,224
Everyone, let's take our
picture in front of the mural.
881
00:40:56,747 --> 00:41:00,077
Oh, um, I just-- I kind of meant
just everybody from the office.
882
00:41:00,117 --> 00:41:02,266
[Laughter]
883
00:41:03,241 --> 00:41:06,457
[Shutter clicking]
884
00:41:06,930 --> 00:41:08,186
Very nice.
885
00:41:08,208 --> 00:41:10,471
Just a couple dozen more.
886
00:41:11,098 --> 00:41:13,749
Smiles, everybody, smiles.
887
00:41:15,944 --> 00:41:19,425
All right, that's great. I got enough.
Thank you, everybody.
888
00:41:23,918 --> 00:41:25,609
- Let's go outside.
- Okay.
889
00:41:25,686 --> 00:41:27,854
[Indistinct chatter]
890
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,700
Okay, I need a drink.
891
00:41:32,727 --> 00:41:35,317
Yeah, we all need a drink.
892
00:41:36,197 --> 00:41:37,737
What the--
893
00:41:37,762 --> 00:41:40,443
there's only dandelion tea
and raisins in here.
894
00:41:40,461 --> 00:41:41,518
Hey...
895
00:41:41,562 --> 00:41:43,562
bottom drawer.
896
00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:46,438
Yes!
897
00:41:47,128 --> 00:41:49,109
[Phone ringing]
898
00:41:49,441 --> 00:41:50,964
- Oh, so...
- Mm-hmm.
899
00:41:51,057 --> 00:41:53,442
Right.
900
00:41:58,463 --> 00:42:00,770
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
901
00:42:01,194 --> 00:42:02,891
Oh, I'm sorry.
902
00:42:03,103 --> 00:42:06,158
Jim Halpert doesn't
work here anymore.
903
00:42:09,495 --> 00:42:11,283
I didn't watch the
whole documentary.
904
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:13,961
After a few episodes,
it was too painful.
905
00:42:13,973 --> 00:42:16,541
I kept wanting to scream at Pam.
906
00:42:16,834 --> 00:42:20,138
It took me so long to do
so many important things.
907
00:42:20,150 --> 00:42:23,027
It's just hard to accept
that I spent so many years
908
00:42:23,039 --> 00:42:25,334
being less happy
than I could've been.
909
00:42:26,022 --> 00:42:28,088
Jim was 5 feet from my desk,
910
00:42:28,094 --> 00:42:30,849
and it took me four
years to get to him.
911
00:42:31,146 --> 00:42:35,215
It'd be great if people saw this
documentary and learned from my mistakes.
912
00:42:35,699 --> 00:42:38,818
Not that I'm a tragic person.
I'm really happy now.
913
00:42:38,943 --> 00:42:40,593
But...
914
00:42:40,755 --> 00:42:42,112
it would just--
915
00:42:42,137 --> 00:42:44,254
just make my heart soar
916
00:42:44,339 --> 00:42:48,637
if someone out there saw this
and she said to herself,
917
00:42:48,911 --> 00:42:50,324
"Be strong.
918
00:42:50,348 --> 00:42:52,580
Trust yourself, love yourself.
919
00:42:52,586 --> 00:42:54,380
Conquer your fears.
920
00:42:54,413 --> 00:42:56,827
Just go after what you want.
921
00:42:56,868 --> 00:43:00,813
And act fast, because life
just isn't that long."
922
00:43:01,342 --> 00:43:04,121
If there is one thing
that I have learned
923
00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:06,375
through
this whole experience...
924
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,038
[Cheering] it's that...
925
00:43:08,055 --> 00:43:12,456
if you film anybody long enough,
926
00:43:12,545 --> 00:43:15,169
they're going to do
something stupid.
927
00:43:15,194 --> 00:43:16,482
[All whooping]
928
00:43:16,659 --> 00:43:19,740
It's only human natural.
929
00:43:20,470 --> 00:43:24,033
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
All: - Hey!
930
00:43:24,916 --> 00:43:26,310
What about the honeymoon?
931
00:43:26,316 --> 00:43:28,326
Oh, the honeymoon
can wait till tomorrow.
932
00:43:28,338 --> 00:43:29,942
We wanted to hang out
with you guys.
933
00:43:29,966 --> 00:43:33,314
I mean, when are we all
going to be here together again?
934
00:43:33,332 --> 00:43:34,121
Aw.
935
00:43:34,127 --> 00:43:36,733
J, P, and D.
The three amigos.
936
00:43:36,749 --> 00:43:38,876
Ah, it warms my heart.
Hey, what do you say,
937
00:43:38,888 --> 00:43:40,623
when I get back
from our honeymoon,
938
00:43:40,636 --> 00:43:43,834
the three of us have a conference
room meeting just for fun?
939
00:43:44,692 --> 00:43:47,189
What is that meaningful look?
940
00:43:47,499 --> 00:43:49,754
You know what?
Maybe we should talk.
941
00:43:50,385 --> 00:43:53,043
Hey, come here.
You guys need to see this.
942
00:43:53,108 --> 00:43:54,006
What is it?
943
00:43:54,024 --> 00:43:55,556
You're probably sitting
there wondering
944
00:43:55,581 --> 00:43:59,467
what will be your mark,
what will you be known for?
945
00:44:00,085 --> 00:44:02,183
It might surprise you
to learn--
946
00:44:02,276 --> 00:44:05,739
- I finally feel ready. Athlead is growing.
- Athleap.
947
00:44:05,758 --> 00:44:08,291
And Jim can jump back in
without skipping a beat.
948
00:44:08,545 --> 00:44:12,149
We'll come back to visit. But I think
it's time for us to officially--
949
00:44:12,166 --> 00:44:13,893
No, don't say it.
You're fired!
950
00:44:13,923 --> 00:44:16,757
- You're both fired!
- Dwight, come on. Don't end on a bad note.
951
00:44:16,776 --> 00:44:19,088
Don't be an idiot.
It's for the severance.
952
00:44:19,139 --> 00:44:21,634
The best that I can do is one month
for every year you've been here.
953
00:44:21,646 --> 00:44:23,672
That's the Max.
954
00:44:24,901 --> 00:44:26,532
Thanks, Dwight.
955
00:44:27,001 --> 00:44:28,912
Hey, and if you're
ever in Austin--
956
00:44:28,925 --> 00:44:31,107
Whoa. Right.
For what, the art?
957
00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:33,372
The music?
The incredible nightlife?
958
00:44:33,384 --> 00:44:34,622
No, thank you.
959
00:44:34,634 --> 00:44:37,928
But if you're ever in the area,
you'll always have a place to stay.
960
00:44:38,322 --> 00:44:39,772
In my barn.
961
00:44:40,303 --> 00:44:41,741
There it is.
962
00:44:41,931 --> 00:44:44,006
Do I get along
with my co-workers?
963
00:44:44,125 --> 00:44:46,822
Well, first of all, I don't
have co-workers anymore.
964
00:44:46,847 --> 00:44:48,397
I have subordinates.
965
00:44:48,444 --> 00:44:49,700
So...
966
00:44:49,763 --> 00:44:51,823
have I gotten along
with my subordinates?
967
00:44:52,017 --> 00:44:53,373
Let's see.
968
00:44:53,453 --> 00:44:56,102
My supplier relations rep,
Meredith Palmer,
969
00:44:56,115 --> 00:45:00,281
is the only person I know who knows how
to properly head bang to Motörhead.
970
00:45:00,978 --> 00:45:05,104
Oscar Martinez, my accountant,
is now godfather to my son.
971
00:45:05,159 --> 00:45:08,522
Angela Schrute, my former
accountant, is now my wife.
972
00:45:08,559 --> 00:45:11,527
My top salesman Jim Halpert
was best man at my wedding.
973
00:45:11,617 --> 00:45:14,803
And office administrator
Pamela Beesly Halpert
974
00:45:14,825 --> 00:45:16,409
is my best friend.
975
00:45:16,861 --> 00:45:18,162
So...
976
00:45:18,285 --> 00:45:19,617
yes.
977
00:45:19,654 --> 00:45:22,763
I'd say I have gotten along
with my subordinates.
978
00:45:23,334 --> 00:45:25,326
You might feel sorry for me.
979
00:45:25,338 --> 00:45:27,637
But I actually
feel sorry for you.
980
00:45:28,165 --> 00:45:30,559
Because you're about
to leave Cornell.
981
00:45:30,639 --> 00:45:32,140
So say it with me.
982
00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:35,471
All: Oh, I can so
just sit here and cry.
983
00:45:35,498 --> 00:45:36,554
[Cheers and applause]
984
00:45:36,599 --> 00:45:38,216
Oh, yes!
985
00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:41,782
You did good.
Real good.
986
00:45:41,794 --> 00:45:43,962
Thanks, dad--
Darryl.
987
00:45:44,402 --> 00:45:47,477
I spent so much of my time
here at Dunder Mifflin
988
00:45:47,489 --> 00:45:49,409
thinking about my old pals,
989
00:45:49,466 --> 00:45:51,366
my college a cappella group.
990
00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:53,923
The weird thing is...
991
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:55,967
now, I'm exactly
where I wanna be.
992
00:45:55,985 --> 00:45:58,875
I got my dream job at Cornell,
993
00:45:59,458 --> 00:46:02,526
and I'm still just thinking
about my old pals.
994
00:46:03,725 --> 00:46:06,603
Only now they're the
ones I made here.
995
00:46:07,141 --> 00:46:10,786
I wish there was a way to know
you're in the good old days
996
00:46:10,966 --> 00:46:13,738
before you've
actually left them.
997
00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:19,264
Someone should write
a song about that.
998
00:46:20,109 --> 00:46:22,509
You take something ordinary,
999
00:46:22,752 --> 00:46:24,673
like a piece of paper.
1000
00:46:25,206 --> 00:46:26,669
It's not much.
1001
00:46:26,712 --> 00:46:29,170
But if you see it
1002
00:46:29,643 --> 00:46:31,933
in the right way--
1003
00:46:33,075 --> 00:46:36,479
and that's what you did
with this documentary.
1004
00:46:37,413 --> 00:46:39,363
But seriously, you made
a nine-year documentary,
1005
00:46:39,397 --> 00:46:42,165
and you couldn't once
show me doing my origami.
1006
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,953
[Laughter]
1007
00:46:48,059 --> 00:46:50,953
Uh-- ohh!
1008
00:46:54,046 --> 00:46:57,031
[Soft ballad]
1009
00:46:57,099 --> 00:47:03,371
♪
1010
00:47:03,674 --> 00:47:07,932
♪ I saw a friend today,
it had been a while ♪
1011
00:47:08,873 --> 00:47:12,339
♪ And we forgot
each other's names ♪
1012
00:47:13,402 --> 00:47:17,425
♪ But it didn't matter
'cause deep inside ♪
1013
00:47:18,186 --> 00:47:21,301
♪ The feeling still
remained the same ♪
1014
00:47:21,961 --> 00:47:26,290
Imagine going back and
watching a tape of your life.
1015
00:47:27,464 --> 00:47:29,100
You could see yourself...
1016
00:47:29,131 --> 00:47:31,381
change and
1017
00:47:31,405 --> 00:47:33,405
make mistakes...
1018
00:47:33,456 --> 00:47:35,773
and grow up.
1019
00:47:35,903 --> 00:47:39,178
You could watch
yourself fall in love,
1020
00:47:39,784 --> 00:47:42,169
watch yourself
become a husband...
1021
00:47:42,882 --> 00:47:45,235
become a father.
1022
00:47:46,385 --> 00:47:48,951
You guys gave that to me.
1023
00:47:49,590 --> 00:47:51,797
And that's an
1024
00:47:51,977 --> 00:47:53,977
amazing gift
1025
00:47:54,341 --> 00:47:58,194
Hey, Jim, remember Flonkerton
when you did Office Olympics?
1026
00:47:58,586 --> 00:48:00,976
- It was awesome.
- Thanks, Phyl.
1027
00:48:01,029 --> 00:48:02,798
I still have my medal
from that.
1028
00:48:02,804 --> 00:48:04,338
Do you even have a mattress?
1029
00:48:04,366 --> 00:48:07,379
No, but I still have
my medal from that.
1030
00:48:12,214 --> 00:48:13,927
Oscar.
1031
00:48:14,340 --> 00:48:16,065
Oscar.
1032
00:48:16,859 --> 00:48:19,540
[Crying] I think I'm gay.
1033
00:48:20,204 --> 00:48:22,506
- Why do you say that?
- [Sniffles]
1034
00:48:23,140 --> 00:48:24,990
It's just that
I'm so emotional.
1035
00:48:25,002 --> 00:48:27,290
Yeah, but you're not gay.
You're not gay.
1036
00:48:27,363 --> 00:48:30,708
- No, but maybe the reason--
- You're not gay.
1037
00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:34,885
♪ And all the faces
that I know ♪
1038
00:48:36,027 --> 00:48:39,827
♪ Have that same
familiar glow ♪
1039
00:48:40,238 --> 00:48:44,372
♪ I think I must have known them
somewhere once before ♪
1040
00:48:44,503 --> 00:48:45,931
How did you do it?
1041
00:48:45,943 --> 00:48:48,388
How did you capture
what it was really like?
1042
00:48:48,491 --> 00:48:49,916
How we felt
1043
00:48:49,941 --> 00:48:53,779
and how we made each other laugh
and how we got through the day?
1044
00:48:53,897 --> 00:48:55,510
How did you do it?
1045
00:48:55,796 --> 00:48:57,980
Also, how do cameras work?
1046
00:48:58,078 --> 00:49:01,484
Every day when I came into work,
all I wanted to do was leave.
1047
00:49:01,748 --> 00:49:05,201
So why in the world does it feel
so hard to leave right now?
1048
00:49:05,807 --> 00:49:08,135
It all seems so very arbitrary.
1049
00:49:08,154 --> 00:49:12,883
I applied for a job at this
company because they were hiring.
1050
00:49:13,219 --> 00:49:16,714
I took a desk at the back
because it was empty.
1051
00:49:16,859 --> 00:49:18,098
But...
1052
00:49:18,123 --> 00:49:18,931
[Chuckles]
1053
00:49:18,944 --> 00:49:22,195
no matter how you get there
or where you end up,
1054
00:49:22,226 --> 00:49:24,978
human beings have
this miraculous gift
1055
00:49:25,005 --> 00:49:28,258
to make that place home.
1056
00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:38,334
Let's do this.
1057
00:49:40,071 --> 00:49:42,292
I just feel lucky that I
got a chance to share
1058
00:49:42,316 --> 00:49:46,368
my crummy story with anyone out there
who thinks they're the only one
1059
00:49:46,380 --> 00:49:48,687
to take a dump
in a paper shredder.
1060
00:49:49,214 --> 00:49:51,160
You're not alone, sister.
1061
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,107
Let's get a beer sometime.
1062
00:49:53,141 --> 00:49:56,193
[Indistinct chatter]
1063
00:49:58,614 --> 00:50:01,062
I'm happy that this
was all filmed,
1064
00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,404
so I can remember
everyone and what we did.
1065
00:50:05,508 --> 00:50:10,726
I worked for a paper company all these
years, and I never wrote anything down.
1066
00:50:11,455 --> 00:50:13,406
That was so much fun.
1067
00:50:13,418 --> 00:50:14,451
[Indistinct chatter]
1068
00:50:14,483 --> 00:50:15,440
Bye, Kev!
1069
00:50:15,453 --> 00:50:18,003
I sold paper this
company for 12 years.
1070
00:50:18,026 --> 00:50:20,476
My job was to speak
to clients on the phone
1071
00:50:20,482 --> 00:50:24,145
about quantities and
types of copier paper.
1072
00:50:24,182 --> 00:50:27,227
Even if I didn't love
every minute of it,
1073
00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:30,418
everything I have,
1074
00:50:30,518 --> 00:50:32,518
I owe to this job.
1075
00:50:33,728 --> 00:50:35,570
This stupid...
1076
00:50:35,718 --> 00:50:37,799
wonderful...
1077
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,014
boring...
1078
00:50:40,509 --> 00:50:42,720
amazing job.
1079
00:50:43,908 --> 00:50:46,469
I thought it was weird when you
1080
00:50:46,481 --> 00:50:49,277
picked us to make a documentary.
1081
00:50:49,566 --> 00:50:52,036
But all in all...
1082
00:50:52,142 --> 00:50:55,600
I think an ordinary paper
company like Dunder Mifflin
1083
00:50:55,606 --> 00:50:58,797
was a great subject
for a documentary.
1084
00:50:59,691 --> 00:51:03,200
There's a lot of beauty
in ordinary things.
1085
00:51:03,703 --> 00:51:06,705
Isn't that kind of the point?