1
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,499
Brain teaser.
2
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,599
I have two coins totaling 15 cents.
3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,634
One of them is not a nickel.
What are they?
4
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,234
A dime and a nickel.
5
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,734
No, I said one of them is not a nickel--
6
00:00:13,735 --> 00:00:14,751
But the other one is.
7
00:00:14,752 --> 00:00:16,199
I've heard that before.
8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,734
Okay, a man and his
son get into a car accident.
9
00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:21,334
They are rushed to the hospital.
10
00:00:21,335 --> 00:00:21,990
The doctor says,
11
00:00:22,003 --> 00:00:24,033
"There's no way I
can operate on this boy."
12
00:00:24,037 --> 00:00:25,308
"Because he's my son."
13
00:00:25,347 --> 00:00:27,099
The doctor is the boy's mother.
14
00:00:27,109 --> 00:00:29,320
A man is found hanging from the ceiling.
15
00:00:29,352 --> 00:00:31,014
He stepped on a block of ice,
hung himself,
16
00:00:31,038 --> 00:00:32,722
and the ice melted.
17
00:00:33,205 --> 00:00:33,790
A hunter...
18
00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:35,623
It's a polar bear because
you're at the North Pole.
19
00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:36,702
Damn it!
20
00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:11,753
Tell me what you did yesterday.
21
00:01:11,836 --> 00:01:13,980
Uh, nothing.
22
00:01:14,347 --> 00:01:15,593
Nothing? Yeah, nothing.
23
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:16,690
How was your day?
24
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:18,595
I don't care how your day was, Michael.
25
00:01:20,065 --> 00:01:20,393
Wow.
26
00:01:20,568 --> 00:01:21,991
Well, okay.
27
00:01:22,007 --> 00:01:24,141
I don't care how your
day was either, Jan.
28
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:26,332
I was just asking you
because you asked me.
29
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,050
Tell me what you did yesterday.
30
00:01:28,235 --> 00:01:29,672
I worked.
31
00:01:29,858 --> 00:01:32,300
And then I went home to my condo.
32
00:01:32,406 --> 00:01:33,720
And Carol came over.
33
00:01:33,825 --> 00:01:36,274
And we had sex.
34
00:01:37,171 --> 00:01:38,305
Is that what you want to hear?
35
00:01:38,406 --> 00:01:41,693
Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss.
36
00:01:41,706 --> 00:01:43,162
I'm so lucky that Jan and I
37
00:01:43,218 --> 00:01:44,719
only got to second base.
38
00:01:45,308 --> 00:01:45,893
Hi, Pam.
39
00:01:45,908 --> 00:01:47,891
Hi. I'm great.
40
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,581
So, Pam, I'd like you to keep
41
00:01:49,698 --> 00:01:51,780
a log of everything
Michael does hour by hour
42
00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:53,993
so that we can analyze
it at corporate, okay?
43
00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:55,662
- Oh, I don't know...
- Thanks, Pam.
44
00:01:57,097 --> 00:01:58,090
It's weird.
45
00:01:58,105 --> 00:02:00,712
Jan used to treat Michael
like he was a 10-year-old.
46
00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,258
But lately it's like he's five.
47
00:02:03,807 --> 00:02:05,312
So, are you excited?
48
00:02:05,594 --> 00:02:06,805
Yeah.
49
00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:08,773
Very excited?
50
00:02:09,406 --> 00:02:11,570
Yes, I'm very excited.
51
00:02:11,805 --> 00:02:13,789
Extremely excited?
52
00:02:14,506 --> 00:02:17,242
Just very. That's cool.
53
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,483
I have spent a year here.
54
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:24,261
And I have to commit or get out, so...
55
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,192
Dwight's the top salesman
in the company,
56
00:02:26,288 --> 00:02:28,797
and he's taking me
on my first sales call today.
57
00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:30,945
And, I'm excited.
58
00:02:31,608 --> 00:02:35,431
I am very excited.
Ryan hasn't made a sale yet.
59
00:02:35,595 --> 00:02:38,680
But more importantly,
he hasn't made an ally yet.
60
00:02:39,056 --> 00:02:42,402
Is he gonna be a slacker-
loser-wise-ass like Jim was,
61
00:02:42,637 --> 00:02:45,850
or is he gonna join the
Dwight Army of Champions?
62
00:02:46,015 --> 00:02:47,833
So, what if they're not talking much?
63
00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:50,990
Then does it make sense
to kind of lead the conversation?
64
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,301
You know, just until it
gets to a point where
65
00:02:53,436 --> 00:02:55,310
they are asking questions?
66
00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:04,433
So, where's the sales office?
67
00:03:05,996 --> 00:03:07,873
When you are ready
to see the sales office,
68
00:03:07,936 --> 00:03:10,783
the sales office will
present itself to you.
69
00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:14,071
Your journey begins now.
70
00:03:21,207 --> 00:03:22,093
Hey.
71
00:03:22,305 --> 00:03:23,501
What?
72
00:03:24,406 --> 00:03:25,920
My chair's squeaking.
73
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,311
Is it?
74
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,031
You took my chair.
75
00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:30,831
No, I didn't.
76
00:03:30,995 --> 00:03:32,643
I took back the chair
that you took from me.
77
00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,079
But I didn't take your chair.
78
00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:37,282
When you get up, I'm just
gonna take it back anyway, so...
79
00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:39,918
So I guess I can't get up.
80
00:03:56,196 --> 00:03:57,881
Hey, Coselli!
81
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,083
The Coz! The Cosby.
82
00:04:00,295 --> 00:04:01,893
Hey, hey, hey!
83
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,230
I love Jell-O Pudding Pops!
84
00:04:04,395 --> 00:04:08,592
My son Theo love
Jell-O Pudding Pops too.
85
00:04:09,995 --> 00:04:11,653
Do you know where we are, Temp?
86
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,521
I know where we're not.
87
00:04:13,695 --> 00:04:16,106
I hold in my hand a beet seed.
88
00:04:16,936 --> 00:04:18,302
Take it.
89
00:04:20,246 --> 00:04:21,590
When you...
90
00:04:22,545 --> 00:04:23,973
Damn it.
91
00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:31,080
Hey, Big Tuna.
Can I talk to you for a second ?
92
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,252
Sure.
93
00:04:32,398 --> 00:04:33,430
Can you stand up
94
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,221
and talk to me over there?
95
00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:40,891
That's it?
96
00:04:40,921 --> 00:04:42,502
That's what you came up with?
97
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,343
I'm acting my heart out here.
98
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,505
Really, huh? Yeah, really.
99
00:04:46,506 --> 00:04:49,260
You asked for my help, so I helped.
100
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,581
Attention, Scranton Business Park.
101
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,190
There will be complimentary pretzels
102
00:04:58,205 --> 00:05:00,743
available in the
lobby from now until 4:00
103
00:05:00,828 --> 00:05:03,290
as a thank-you to our loyal tenants.
104
00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:12,432
Once a year, they bring
in a little cart.
105
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,131
And they give away free pretzels.
106
00:05:14,307 --> 00:05:15,983
It's really not a big deal.
107
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,741
To some people it is.
108
00:05:19,207 --> 00:05:22,290
Productivity is important.
But how can I be productive
109
00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:24,230
if I have this one little
thing in my brain
110
00:05:24,317 --> 00:05:25,733
that I cannot get out?
111
00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:28,170
And that one little
thing is a soft pretzel.
112
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,270
So I'm just gonna have my soft pretzel.
113
00:05:30,335 --> 00:05:32,383
And I'll get to work.
And I'll be super productive.
114
00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:33,991
Look at for me.
115
00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:36,550
Oh, sh...
116
00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:39,256
Come on.
117
00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:51,550
And just as you have
planted your seed in the ground,
118
00:05:51,908 --> 00:05:55,349
I am going to plant my seed in you.
119
00:05:56,008 --> 00:05:57,431
I don't think you
know what you're saying.
120
00:05:57,506 --> 00:05:59,143
Smells pretty bad, doesn't it?
121
00:05:59,337 --> 00:06:00,313
Uh-huh.
122
00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:02,150
It's called bullcrap.
123
00:06:02,377 --> 00:06:05,216
And a client can
smell it from a mile away.
124
00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:07,092
- Gotcha.
- Oh, hey...
125
00:06:07,207 --> 00:06:08,922
I forgot something in my car.
126
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,395
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
127
00:06:25,407 --> 00:06:27,751
Of course.
128
00:06:29,697 --> 00:06:32,150
I wake up every morning
in a bed that's too small.
129
00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:34,663
Drive my daughter to
a school that's too expensive.
130
00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:38,238
And then I go to work to a job
for which I get paid too little.
131
00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:39,969
But on pretzel day...
132
00:06:41,007 --> 00:06:42,797
Well, I like pretzel day.
133
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,516
Cause they're acting
all tough and everything.
134
00:06:45,588 --> 00:06:47,373
But what they were rapping
about was cupcakes
135
00:06:47,435 --> 00:06:49,391
and The Chronicles of Narnia.
136
00:06:49,406 --> 00:06:50,733
Who invented cupcakes, right?
137
00:06:50,735 --> 00:06:53,010
I want to kill them.
Hey! Hey, Phyllis !
138
00:06:53,317 --> 00:06:54,368
What are you doing?
139
00:06:54,406 --> 00:06:55,791
I'm just saying hi to Bob.
140
00:06:55,805 --> 00:06:57,530
No, I think you're cutting in line.
141
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:58,293
Well, settle down, Scott.
142
00:06:58,307 --> 00:06:59,890
- No, I'm not gonna settle down.
- No, no way.
143
00:06:59,939 --> 00:07:01,679
Uh-uh, boo! Get in the back, please.
144
00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:05,622
- Boo! Back of the line!
- Thank you!
145
00:07:08,506 --> 00:07:09,610
That's right.
146
00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:11,161
What a pair of Marys.
147
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:12,755
This is pretzel day.
148
00:07:13,006 --> 00:07:14,342
"Hey, Dwight, you're a great salesman.
149
00:07:14,427 --> 00:07:15,392
Can you teach me?"
150
00:07:15,406 --> 00:07:16,190
Sure, Ryan.
151
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:17,783
I'll make you kneel in cow manure.
152
00:07:17,788 --> 00:07:19,331
And I'll abandon you in a beet field."
153
00:07:19,336 --> 00:07:21,271
Oh, that sounds great, Dwight.
154
00:07:21,302 --> 00:07:22,537
"I really appreciate that.
155
00:07:22,559 --> 00:07:25,318
Thank you so much for your mentorship."
156
00:07:29,008 --> 00:07:31,552
Congratulations, resourceful salesman.
157
00:07:32,982 --> 00:07:35,607
You have passed the second challenge.
158
00:07:35,908 --> 00:07:38,802
Welcome to Schrute Farm!
159
00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:50,342
"Love me, love me"
160
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:52,754
"Say that you love me"
161
00:07:52,777 --> 00:07:54,833
- "Fool me, fool me"
- Stop.
162
00:07:54,837 --> 00:07:57,171
"Go on and fool me"
163
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,175
"Love me, love me"
164
00:07:59,207 --> 00:08:01,031
- "Say that you love me"
- This is not fair.
165
00:08:01,038 --> 00:08:03,413
It's gonna be in my head all day.
Please?
166
00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:05,622
- "Go on and fool me"
167
00:08:05,975 --> 00:08:07,058
"Love me, love me"
168
00:08:07,122 --> 00:08:08,824
This is not a proportionate response.
169
00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:10,351
"Say that you love me"
170
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:12,220
"Fool me, fool me"
171
00:08:12,356 --> 00:08:14,692
"Go on and fool me"
172
00:08:14,706 --> 00:08:20,574
"I don't care 'bout anything but you"
173
00:08:22,656 --> 00:08:24,402
Whatever happened to those guys?
174
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,413
- Michael.
- No cuts!
175
00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,351
Pam.
Just the woman I'd like to see.
176
00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:34,845
- You read my mind.
- Great.
177
00:08:34,908 --> 00:08:36,554
I thought you might
want to use this time
178
00:08:36,555 --> 00:08:37,901
to authorize some checks.
179
00:08:37,902 --> 00:08:39,006
I thought that maybe you could
180
00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:40,991
wait in line for me
while I go to the bathroom.
181
00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:41,702
You're an angel.
182
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,990
Hey, why don't you
just go up to your office,
183
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:44,806
get some work done,
184
00:08:44,807 --> 00:08:45,972
and I'll bring you a pretzel?
185
00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:47,534
Because I like them a certain way.
186
00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:48,711
And if it gets screwed up,
187
00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:50,390
then this whole thing's blown.
188
00:08:50,408 --> 00:08:52,532
You know, I just think
it's really important that
189
00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:54,091
you be productive today.
190
00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:58,192
Pam, productivity starts with
patience and determination.
191
00:08:58,803 --> 00:09:00,207
I ll be back..
192
00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:09,689
It is time for your next test.
193
00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:11,720
You have planted the beet seed.
194
00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:14,886
You have walked the long,
lonely walk of loneliness.
195
00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:16,969
Look, man.
I was in a frat in college.
196
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:18,601
So I know what you're doing.
197
00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:19,493
I get it.
198
00:09:19,505 --> 00:09:20,893
You know what your problem is?
199
00:09:20,906 --> 00:09:22,692
You know why you haven't made any sales?
200
00:09:22,706 --> 00:09:24,191
Because you think you know everything.
201
00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:26,781
You have to trust that maybe
there are other people
202
00:09:26,861 --> 00:09:28,699
that can teach you things.
203
00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:30,392
Are you ready to learn?
204
00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:33,205
Are you ready for the final test?
205
00:09:34,505 --> 00:09:35,986
- Yeah.
- Come on!
206
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,190
Thank you.
207
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,214
Hi, please tell me you have
a sweet pretzel left.
208
00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:44,793
- We do.
- Thank God.
209
00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,190
And we have 18 different toppings.
210
00:09:46,207 --> 00:09:48,033
We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar,
211
00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:49,292
chocolate, white chocolate,
212
00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:52,432
fudge, M&Ms, caramel dip,
mint chip, chocolate chip,
213
00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:54,190
marshmallows, nuts,
toffee nuts, coconuts,
214
00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,930
peanut butter drizzle, Oreos,
sprinkles, cotton candy bits,
215
00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:58,353
and powdered sugar.
216
00:09:58,507 --> 00:10:00,902
Is there any way that you could do all?
217
00:10:01,005 --> 00:10:02,691
All of them?
The works? You got it.
218
00:10:02,813 --> 00:10:03,862
All right!
219
00:10:03,906 --> 00:10:05,312
Thank you.
220
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,073
Please be seated.
221
00:10:14,608 --> 00:10:15,412
What was that?
222
00:10:15,453 --> 00:10:16,878
Pay no attention to the spirits
223
00:10:16,921 --> 00:10:19,409
- that haunt this hallowed ground.
- Is that your cousin Mose?
224
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,245
Yes.
225
00:10:21,257 --> 00:10:24,270
Mose is my cousin, and he lives here.
226
00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:26,793
He will always be my best friend.
227
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:28,931
Unless things go well with Ryan today.
228
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:31,284
In which case I won't hang
out with Mose so much anymore.
229
00:10:31,496 --> 00:10:35,284
What is the greatest danger
facing Dunder-Mifflin?
230
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,731
Outsourcing and consolidation
of competition.
231
00:10:37,828 --> 00:10:39,894
Wrong. Flash floods.
232
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:44,933
What is the true cause
of Robert Mifflin's suicide?
233
00:10:46,472 --> 00:10:47,491
Depression?
234
00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:49,097
Wrong. He hated himself.
235
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,647
What is the Dharma Initiative?
236
00:10:52,598 --> 00:10:54,803
I can't believe that
Ryan is not back yet.
237
00:10:54,817 --> 00:10:55,873
Where could they be?
238
00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:57,430
Sales take a long time.
239
00:10:57,437 --> 00:10:59,073
Oh, my God. I'm so worried.
240
00:10:59,297 --> 00:11:01,173
I'm sure Dwight will protect him.
241
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,394
I don't know. Dwight's so weird.
242
00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:05,388
He's not weird.
243
00:11:05,476 --> 00:11:07,460
He's just individualistic.
244
00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:08,591
No, he's a freak.
245
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,425
You're a freak!
246
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,386
Final question,
247
00:11:15,506 --> 00:11:18,043
young Ryan Howard.
248
00:11:20,608 --> 00:11:21,853
What...
249
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,301
is Michael Scott's greatest fear?
250
00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,832
Loneliness.
251
00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:34,832
Maybe women.
252
00:11:34,892 --> 00:11:35,941
Wrong.
253
00:11:36,287 --> 00:11:37,754
He's not afraid of anything.
254
00:11:38,508 --> 00:11:41,168
Also, I would've accepted snakes.
255
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,894
Fear is what it's all about.
256
00:11:44,207 --> 00:11:47,670
You cannot sell while undergoing fear.
257
00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:50,291
You need to vanquish fear!
258
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:55,215
One must wrestle fear to the ground.
259
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,930
You will now wrestle my cousin Mose!
260
00:11:58,038 --> 00:11:59,483
No! Okay, all right!
261
00:11:59,537 --> 00:12:01,574
- Wrestle him to the ground!
- This is over, okay?
262
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:02,893
You're a freak.
263
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,711
I'm not doing this
anymore and this is over.
264
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:05,622
- Ryan.
- Goodbye.
265
00:12:05,697 --> 00:12:06,682
Ryan, you don't have to wrestle him.
266
00:12:06,777 --> 00:12:09,340
Ryan, just get in the coffin.
267
00:12:10,302 --> 00:12:11,691
Ryan...
268
00:12:13,305 --> 00:12:14,790
Bye, Ryan.
269
00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:18,341
He seemed nice.
270
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,539
Where are all the animals?
271
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,332
Ryan, come on. I am sorry.
272
00:12:26,337 --> 00:12:27,092
I am sorry.
273
00:12:27,107 --> 00:12:28,433
Mose is sorry too.
274
00:12:28,438 --> 00:12:28,990
Look!
275
00:12:29,006 --> 00:12:31,973
He sent over a basket with eggs
276
00:12:32,036 --> 00:12:33,932
and some fat back bacon.
277
00:12:33,938 --> 00:12:35,523
And look-
Something he whittled.
278
00:12:54,778 --> 00:12:56,458
You still mad?
279
00:13:01,006 --> 00:13:02,302
It's just...
280
00:13:02,806 --> 00:13:03,992
Jim and I didn't get along.
281
00:13:04,006 --> 00:13:08,360
And...I didn't want
it to be that way again.
282
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:11,372
You know, I wanted us to be a team.
283
00:13:11,506 --> 00:13:13,030
An unstoppable team
284
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:16,786
- that competed against other teams.
- Look, that's not what I wanted, okay?
285
00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:19,301
I just wanted to go on a sales call.
286
00:13:19,906 --> 00:13:22,794
"Screw gun! The sales call!"
287
00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:44,510
"Hey"
288
00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:48,373
"Hey"
289
00:13:49,105 --> 00:13:50,390
Mr. Coselli.
290
00:13:50,405 --> 00:13:53,282
Hey, hey, hey!
The Cos! What's going on?
291
00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:54,669
Do we have a deal?
292
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,109
Deal or no deal?
293
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:57,362
Let's make a deal.
294
00:13:57,607 --> 00:13:59,120
So what is the deal?
295
00:13:59,182 --> 00:14:00,566
Establish time frames.
296
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,751
Keep the phrase
"real dollars" in their heads.
297
00:14:02,779 --> 00:14:04,736
And always keep the
power in the conversation.
298
00:14:04,755 --> 00:14:06,832
That's why you're losing
them on the cold calls.
299
00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:09,097
Because you say the
word "please" too much.
300
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:12,406
- Wait, can you go back?
- Michael always says K-I-S-S.
301
00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:13,802
"Keep it simple, stupid."
302
00:14:13,838 --> 00:14:15,192
Great advice.
303
00:14:15,207 --> 00:14:17,062
Hurts my feelings every time.
304
00:14:17,408 --> 00:14:19,718
Okay, I'm gonna establish time frames.
305
00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:20,181
Good.
306
00:14:20,182 --> 00:14:21,997
I'm gonna put everything
in terms of real dollars.
307
00:14:22,038 --> 00:14:23,493
- Right.
- I'm gonna ask a lot of questions
308
00:14:23,507 --> 00:14:25,031
that all have sort of positive answers.
309
00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:26,590
So they'll say "That would be better" or
310
00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:28,546
- "We would like that."
- Exactly, yes, good.
311
00:14:28,708 --> 00:14:30,431
I'm going to try to be confident
312
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:31,538
but not cocky.
313
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,003
Oh, hey, everyone.
314
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,430
I am officially streamlining
the efficiency of this corporation.
315
00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:39,450
- Second.
- Second.
316
00:14:39,508 --> 00:14:41,491
Yes, second, Toby.
317
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,131
Second, I am insisting on
increased accountability
318
00:14:44,136 --> 00:14:45,590
from every single one of you.
319
00:14:45,606 --> 00:14:47,181
Account. Michael, what's going on?
320
00:14:47,185 --> 00:14:48,691
And I will be taking questions.
321
00:14:48,706 --> 00:14:50,131
Did you have a lot
of sugar today, Michael?
322
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:51,599
What's on your suit?
323
00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:52,439
Caramel dip.
324
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:53,967
But one question at a time, please.
325
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:56,336
Phyllis, Stanley...
I want you to switch desks.
326
00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:57,691
I'm going to reorganize
327
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,766
and restructure the physical layout
328
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:01,930
of the office to maximise everything.
329
00:15:02,045 --> 00:15:03,642
I think we're getting maxi
a lot done, don't you?
330
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:04,893
On paper, at least.
331
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,823
And we are, after all, a paper company.
332
00:15:06,837 --> 00:15:07,792
Are we not? Are we not?
333
00:15:07,805 --> 00:15:08,891
Are we not? Are you with me?
334
00:15:08,906 --> 00:15:10,930
Are you with me? Thank you very much.
335
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,233
They really didn't like me.
336
00:15:15,238 --> 00:15:16,390
They did not.
337
00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:18,492
But they didn't have
to say it to your face.
338
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,125
I don't get it.
339
00:15:20,507 --> 00:15:22,030
I don't get what I did wrong.
340
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,532
Not everything's a lesson, Ryan.
341
00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:25,037
Sometimes you just fail.
342
00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:27,032
It's those online paper jerks.
343
00:15:27,037 --> 00:15:28,647
The whole business is changing.
344
00:15:28,738 --> 00:15:29,686
You know what?
They're gonna be screwed
345
00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:31,812
once this whole Internet fad is over.
346
00:15:33,036 --> 00:15:34,833
What are you doing?
Oh, no, no, no!
347
00:15:34,838 --> 00:15:37,751
No, no, no! No, Ryan!
348
00:15:37,755 --> 00:15:40,460
Yes! Ryan the Temp, yeah!
349
00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:43,093
Come on, come on!
350
00:15:43,094 --> 00:15:44,498
Courtesy of Dunder-Mifflin!
351
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,667
Oh, come on!
352
00:15:46,805 --> 00:15:48,865
Drive! You drive!
353
00:15:52,008 --> 00:15:54,032
Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.
354
00:15:54,316 --> 00:15:55,787
Oh, hi, Jan.
355
00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:58,733
He's, on a sales call.
356
00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:00,551
No message?
357
00:16:01,856 --> 00:16:03,240
Bye, Jan.
358
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:19,051
Temp! Temp! Temp! Temp!
359
00:16:20,077 --> 00:16:24,792
Ryan! Ryan!
Yes!
360
00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:28,351
Just think. That temp agency
could've sent you anywhere.
361
00:16:28,647 --> 00:16:30,248
I think about that all the time.
362
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:35,385
Good night, Pam. Good night.
363
00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:38,143
Hey, what time is it?
364
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,271
5:20.
365
00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:40,480
AM or PM?
366
00:16:40,677 --> 00:16:41,588
PM.
367
00:16:41,606 --> 00:16:42,760
Oh, good.
368
00:16:42,886 --> 00:16:44,131
These came for you.
369
00:16:44,138 --> 00:16:45,322
Contracts.
370
00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:46,691
Brent Coselli.
371
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:50,002
Oh, Coselli. With the Jell-O.
372
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:51,775
This is a huge sale.
373
00:16:52,066 --> 00:16:53,762
Yes, right. Good.
374
00:16:56,396 --> 00:16:57,933
- Good night, Michael.
- Good night.
375
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,232
Dunder-Mifflin.
376
00:17:05,282 --> 00:17:06,360
Oh, hey.
377
00:17:06,437 --> 00:17:07,901
Oh, my God.
378
00:17:08,135 --> 00:17:09,791
- Hi.
- Hi.
379
00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:11,732
Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension.
380
00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:13,631
It's a fantasy football thing.
381
00:17:13,638 --> 00:17:14,183
Oh.
382
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,782
And I was just gonna
go through the system,
383
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:17,636
because I didn't think you'd be there.
384
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:20,433
Why are you still there?
385
00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:22,151
I had to work late.
386
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:26,175
Jan's making me keep a log
of everything Michael does all day.
387
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:28,136
Wow.
388
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:32,945
Do you think you could send
me a copy of that?
389
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,706
Yeah, totally.
390
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:39,391
So...So...
391
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,352
- Do you
- Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead.
392
00:17:41,405 --> 00:17:43,159
- Uh, no-- I, um...
393
00:17:43,206 --> 00:17:45,016
Everything's pretty much the same here.
394
00:17:45,243 --> 00:17:46,198
Oh, good.
395
00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:47,445
A little different
396
00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:50,643
What time is it there?
397
00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:53,226
What time is it here?
398
00:17:54,785 --> 00:17:56,811
We're in the same time zone.
399
00:17:57,235 --> 00:17:58,882
Oh, yeah. Right.
400
00:17:59,606 --> 00:18:01,328
How far away did you think we were?
401
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,444
I don't know. It felt far.
402
00:18:06,605 --> 00:18:07,609
Yeah.
403
00:18:08,605 --> 00:18:10,332
- I have a question for you.
- What?
404
00:18:10,351 --> 00:18:13,820
How many words per minute
does the average person type?
405
00:18:14,054 --> 00:18:15,068
I type 90.
406
00:18:15,185 --> 00:18:16,234
Shut up.
407
00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:18,730
Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.
408
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:19,854
It's true.
409
00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:21,485
Okay, I said average.
410
00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:22,390
70?
411
00:18:22,407 --> 00:18:23,663
How many do you type?
412
00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:26,140
Forget it.
I was just about to brag. Forget it.
413
00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:28,347
Come on, tell me. No.
414
00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:29,878
You have to tell me now.
415
00:18:29,957 --> 00:18:31,121
65.
416
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,050
Okay, no need to laugh.
417
00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:37,221
No, it's...
That's respectable.
418
00:18:37,397 --> 00:18:38,484
Respectable?
419
00:18:38,513 --> 00:18:41,060
So, okay, I'm watching the movie.
420
00:18:41,242 --> 00:18:43,756
By myself, because I just wanted
421
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,816
a relaxing evening at home.
422
00:18:46,186 --> 00:18:47,013
Okay.
423
00:18:47,107 --> 00:18:49,632
And I'm freaking out!
424
00:18:49,638 --> 00:18:50,092
Yeah.
425
00:18:50,108 --> 00:18:52,392
That movie is so scary.
426
00:18:52,408 --> 00:18:56,089
But I'm holding on because I keep
waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up.
427
00:18:56,142 --> 00:18:57,397
No way!
428
00:18:57,408 --> 00:19:00,931
How do you confuse
28 Days with 28 Days Later?
429
00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:03,981
Because I got it at Blockbuster and
they don't put the pictures on the box.
430
00:19:04,036 --> 00:19:06,587
No,You're making this up.
431
00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:08,320
Would I make that up?
432
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,423
Yes!
433
00:19:09,837 --> 00:19:11,930
Fancy New Beesly would make that up.
434
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:13,907
New apartment, new stories...
435
00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:16,259
Oh, yeah, My fancy new apartment.
436
00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:20,134
I have one bedroom,
one bathroom, and a closet.
437
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,402
And how many kitchens?
438
00:19:21,419 --> 00:19:22,605
I have one kitchen.
439
00:19:22,645 --> 00:19:25,952
Wow, you got totally taken
for a ride, Beesly.
440
00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:27,529
It's actually.
441
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:29,944
"Most apartments these
days have, like, three."
442
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:31,103
Three kitchens?
443
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,321
Yes.
444
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,259
How are you gonna cook every meal
of the day in one kitchen?
445
00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:37,040
Hey, Ryan. Are you okay?
446
00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:37,978
Pam?
447
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:38,872
Yeah.
448
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:40,450
Yeah.
449
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:41,540
Pam?
450
00:19:42,507 --> 00:19:44,030
Um, okay.
451
00:19:44,053 --> 00:19:45,173
Bye.
452
00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:47,575
Oh, yeah. I should probably...
453
00:19:47,628 --> 00:19:48,954
Oh, no-- I was,
454
00:19:49,038 --> 00:19:49,993
I don't know.
455
00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:51,581
-You have to go?
- Yeah.
456
00:19:51,655 --> 00:19:52,922
No, I should probably go too.
457
00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:53,783
Okay.
458
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:55,915
I mean, yeah.
459
00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:57,090
Yeah.
460
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:00,916
Bye, Pam.
461
00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:03,369
Bye, Jim.
462
00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:34,518
364 days... Until the next pretzel day.