1 00:00:02,424 --> 00:00:03,953 - Pam? - Yeah? 2 00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:05,781 Did you see Oprah yesterday? 3 00:00:05,916 --> 00:00:08,904 - No, I didn't. - I, uh... 4 00:00:09,652 --> 00:00:11,812 I am going to be a father. 5 00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:14,968 What was Oprah about? 6 00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:16,726 Angelina Jolie was on. 7 00:00:16,888 --> 00:00:20,702 And she adopted a baby from Asia, and she said that it changed her life. 8 00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:23,085 And that really inspired me. 9 00:00:23,419 --> 00:00:29,679 So, I want you to look into seeing how much a little Chinese baby would cost. 10 00:00:30,825 --> 00:00:33,554 - That's a really big decision. - I know. 11 00:00:33,957 --> 00:00:37,952 Maybe you should wait before you adopt. Or not adopt. 12 00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:39,882 Just do it, okay? 13 00:00:40,098 --> 00:00:44,459 Roy's sister looked into it, and the application alone costs a thousand dollars. 14 00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:53,676 Um... find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay? 15 00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:56,401 You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months. 16 00:00:56,469 --> 00:00:57,469 - Eight months? - Yeah. 17 00:00:57,565 --> 00:00:59,690 I don't even know if I'll want a baby in eight months. 18 00:00:59,774 --> 00:01:01,065 You probably won't. 19 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,985 You know what, Pam? If in ten years... 20 00:01:07,774 --> 00:01:10,657 I haven't had a baby, and you haven't had a baby... 21 00:01:10,783 --> 00:01:12,071 No, Michael. 22 00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,094 - Twenty years. - No, Michael. 23 00:01:16,067 --> 00:01:17,430 Thirty. 24 00:01:19,058 --> 00:01:20,271 Sure. 25 00:01:20,869 --> 00:01:21,998 It's a deal. 26 00:01:55,190 --> 00:01:57,114 All right. Three pairs of pants. 27 00:01:57,244 --> 00:01:58,794 Three pairs of socks. 28 00:01:58,947 --> 00:02:01,866 - Three packs of condoms. - Yesh. 29 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,114 Uh, fun jeans. 30 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,484 - Sign. - Per diem. 31 00:02:10,722 --> 00:02:12,359 Guess where I am going! 32 00:02:12,494 --> 00:02:13,663 I will give you a hint. 33 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:17,046 It is a booze-fueled sex romp, where anything goes. 34 00:02:17,242 --> 00:02:18,679 You are correct, sir! 35 00:02:18,913 --> 00:02:20,116 I am headed to Philadelphia 36 00:02:20,256 --> 00:02:24,132 for the Annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention. 37 00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:27,460 And Jim Halpert is going to be coming, which will be fun. 38 00:02:27,908 --> 00:02:32,437 Poor little guy. He's been stuck working under Josh, 39 00:02:32,826 --> 00:02:34,765 the poor man's Michael Scott, 40 00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:37,142 as he is known around my condo. 41 00:02:38,502 --> 00:02:40,991 Don't be mad, it is a business trip. 42 00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:43,687 But I don't understand. It's for managers. 43 00:02:44,257 --> 00:02:46,882 Monkey, I am an A. R. M., Assistant Regional Manager. 44 00:02:46,985 --> 00:02:48,109 I know! 45 00:02:50,099 --> 00:02:52,998 It... I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. 46 00:02:57,005 --> 00:02:59,154 - Are you still there? - Yes, Monkey. 47 00:02:59,306 --> 00:03:02,927 Don't "Monkey" me! You can't wait to get out of here, A. R. M. 48 00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:06,451 In the Martin family, we like to say, 49 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:09,537 "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." 50 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,341 That's code for "check out the slut." 51 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:14,990 What is... 52 00:03:16,471 --> 00:03:18,029 why are there flies in here? 53 00:03:18,178 --> 00:03:20,419 Oh my God! Are you so excited for tonight? 54 00:03:20,529 --> 00:03:22,896 I am so excited. You guys are going to click, I can feel it. 55 00:03:22,981 --> 00:03:24,654 So what are you wearing? 56 00:03:25,115 --> 00:03:26,169 This. 57 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,338 You look so pretty. 58 00:03:32,664 --> 00:03:33,853 Thank you. 59 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:36,549 Yes, I have a date. 60 00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:39,408 He's a cartoonist for the local paper, 61 00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:42,822 which is really neat, because I like to draw too. 62 00:03:44,251 --> 00:03:46,150 I'm kind of nervous. 63 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:50,400 I haven't been on a first date in nine years... 64 00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:54,517 probably shouldn't broadcast that. 65 00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:57,486 Well, remember, no matter how much you may want to, 66 00:03:57,568 --> 00:04:00,252 do not sleep with him on the first date. It gives him all the power. 67 00:04:00,351 --> 00:04:01,666 Sleep with who? 68 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:03,681 Whom, whom... whom? 69 00:04:03,805 --> 00:04:06,166 My neighbor Alan. They're going on a date tonight. 70 00:04:06,324 --> 00:04:07,913 Oh, wow! Oh my God, 71 00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:09,959 I have a great idea. You know what you should do 72 00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:12,118 to be hilarious? Wear your wedding dress. 73 00:04:12,222 --> 00:04:15,265 It would be a great icebreaker. 74 00:04:15,361 --> 00:04:18,054 - And your veil. - Yeah, do it! 75 00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:21,119 - I'll probably just wear this. - Really? Okay. 76 00:04:21,213 --> 00:04:23,499 Well, word of advice: unbutton that top button. 77 00:04:23,615 --> 00:04:25,109 Let those things breathe. 78 00:04:25,773 --> 00:04:28,053 Any message you want me to relate to Jim? 79 00:04:28,192 --> 00:04:30,955 - Um... - Um. Okay, um. 80 00:04:31,077 --> 00:04:32,376 - Um. - You got that? - I got it. 81 00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:33,909 - Write it down. - Um. Um.... 82 00:04:41,687 --> 00:04:43,632 There's my girl. 83 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,866 I noticed you handing out some shekels. 84 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,710 How would one get on that train? 85 00:04:48,837 --> 00:04:50,507 That was for per diem for Philadelphia. 86 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:52,780 Ugh, that town smells like cheese steaks. 87 00:04:52,906 --> 00:04:54,800 That town is full of history. 88 00:04:58,662 --> 00:05:01,293 Andrea's the office bitch. 89 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,020 You'll get used to her. 90 00:05:06,454 --> 00:05:07,529 Creed. 91 00:05:11,726 --> 00:05:14,536 Can I have my neck pillow back? 92 00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:15,966 Michael! 93 00:05:16,721 --> 00:05:18,904 Can I have my neck pillow back? 94 00:05:22,594 --> 00:05:24,404 - Hey, Michael. - Hey, Josh, how you doing? 95 00:05:24,497 --> 00:05:26,911 - Pretty good. How you doing? - Good to see you. There he is. 96 00:05:26,997 --> 00:05:29,013 There's the traitor. Traitor! Traitor! 97 00:05:29,117 --> 00:05:30,872 Come here, you. Come here! 98 00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:35,677 The product...the progital... 99 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,872 my son returns. 100 00:05:38,164 --> 00:05:40,974 I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. 101 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,075 It's like the firemen. You don't leave your brothers behind. 102 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:50,185 Even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut. 103 00:05:50,621 --> 00:05:52,833 Really good to see you, man. 104 00:05:53,071 --> 00:05:57,029 Yeah. Wow. I didn't expect that. 105 00:05:57,387 --> 00:05:58,943 It's good to see you too. 106 00:05:59,598 --> 00:06:02,669 Oh, hey. How's it going up there? 107 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,708 Have you made any sales yet? 108 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,146 Yeah, sold about 40,000. 109 00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:07,911 Shut up. That's impossible. 110 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:09,857 No, it's not. And I did. Yeah. 111 00:06:09,979 --> 00:06:11,286 Well, I did it too. 112 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,695 You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized 113 00:06:15,787 --> 00:06:19,125 how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. 114 00:06:20,482 --> 00:06:22,494 And then he spoke. 115 00:06:23,422 --> 00:06:26,572 I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key. 116 00:06:26,905 --> 00:06:28,362 - So did you hear? - What? 117 00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:31,776 - Pam's back on the market again. - Really? She's dating? 118 00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:35,666 Oh, if I weren't engaged, I would so hit that. 119 00:06:39,809 --> 00:06:42,081 So what kind of commissions you get up there? 120 00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:45,116 Oh, Dwight, I missed you so much. 121 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,738 You're so immature. 122 00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:51,527 Listen, Michael, I heard you were a great salesman. 123 00:06:51,638 --> 00:06:54,448 And I just want to let you know that if our branch absorbs your branch, 124 00:06:54,524 --> 00:06:56,785 I'm going to look for a place for you at Stamford. 125 00:06:56,891 --> 00:06:58,667 - Oh, hey! - Hey, Jan. 126 00:06:58,768 --> 00:07:00,238 - We all checked in? - Yes. 127 00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:03,222 Great. Let's dump our stuff and meet back down here in a half an hour. 128 00:07:03,311 --> 00:07:04,492 - Okay. - Okay. 129 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,743 Jan? Look, I think we need to set some ground rules. 130 00:07:09,487 --> 00:07:12,388 - What are you talking about? - The 800-pound gorilla in the room. 131 00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:14,378 Carol. I'm still dating her. 132 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:18,128 So nothing can happen between us at the convention. 133 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,355 - Step away from me, Michael. - Thank you 134 00:07:21,435 --> 00:07:24,667 for being so brave with all of this. Thank you. 135 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,382 Alan's cartoon is so funny, right? 136 00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:38,788 And they're, like, so smart. I don't even know what they mean half the time. 137 00:07:54,289 --> 00:07:57,704 - This party is gonna be awesome. - I know. 138 00:07:57,807 --> 00:08:03,204 That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator. More foot traffic. 139 00:08:03,319 --> 00:08:05,079 Check it out. 140 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,635 That is crooked on that side. 141 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,146 Hey hey! 142 00:08:11,306 --> 00:08:13,552 - That is a lot of liquor. - Yeah. 143 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:16,287 - And a dart board. - Well, that's how we do it in Scranton. 144 00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:17,735 Or did you forget? 145 00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:21,966 Ain't no party like a Scranton party, 'cause a Scranton party don't stop. 146 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:27,654 We should probably head on down, you know, hook up with Jan. 147 00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:30,076 Well, we have time. One for the road, gentlemen? 148 00:08:31,289 --> 00:08:33,861 A shot of Midori, perhaps. 149 00:08:38,369 --> 00:08:42,171 Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There was this bartender at Stamford who... 150 00:08:42,947 --> 00:08:44,785 You know what? You'd just have to be there. 151 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,980 Wish I was. I love inside jokes. 152 00:08:48,372 --> 00:08:50,668 I'd love to be a part of one someday. 153 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,207 - We should... - Yeah, all right. 154 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,394 - All right, see you guys down there. - See you guys. 155 00:09:00,529 --> 00:09:01,980 Change your mind, come back up. 156 00:09:02,097 --> 00:09:04,703 - I'll do a shot with you, Michael. - Ugh, that would be gross. 157 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,394 It's not even lunch yet. 158 00:09:09,353 --> 00:09:13,494 SWAG! Stuff We All Get. 159 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:18,229 I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG! 160 00:09:18,389 --> 00:09:22,764 Check it out. Hi, I'm Michael Scott. Dunder Mifflin. 161 00:09:22,889 --> 00:09:25,339 Dwight Schrute. Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. 162 00:09:25,436 --> 00:09:26,529 I am a huge fan. 163 00:09:26,685 --> 00:09:28,615 - Thanks. I appreciate it, guys. - You know what? 164 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,568 I am having a big blowout tonight, room 308. Hope you can come. 165 00:09:31,664 --> 00:09:34,149 - I...maybe. If I can. - Well, cool! 166 00:09:34,238 --> 00:09:37,192 Okay, so can I tell people you're gonna be there? 167 00:09:37,289 --> 00:09:38,678 No, you cannot. 168 00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:40,397 So maybe. See ya. 169 00:09:40,691 --> 00:09:42,272 Why do they call him The Bus? 170 00:09:42,405 --> 00:09:43,878 Because he's afraid to fly. 171 00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:45,144 Smile. 172 00:09:45,273 --> 00:09:47,341 Do you remember me from last year? 173 00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:51,156 There's a party in my room, 308. Can't miss it. Right off the elevator. 174 00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:52,996 Tonight. Be there. 175 00:09:53,204 --> 00:09:55,967 All right, Jan just emailed me. She wants us to meet her up front. 176 00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:57,943 Yep. Yeah, she's up front. 177 00:09:58,042 --> 00:09:59,706 You don't have email on your phone. 178 00:09:59,803 --> 00:10:02,548 I don't have to, I just know. 179 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,793 Yes, hello? 180 00:10:05,993 --> 00:10:07,715 - No one just called you. - All right, nice meeting you, Ted. Take care. 181 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,908 - I'll see you soon. - Yeah, stop by later. 182 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:11,712 - See you in a bit. Bye-bye. 183 00:10:11,919 --> 00:10:13,879 May I have a moment of your time, please? 184 00:10:15,759 --> 00:10:17,908 - I need you to do something for me. - Yes, anything. 185 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,689 I want you to dig up some dirt on Josh. 186 00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:21,728 Find out if there are any skeletons in his attic. 187 00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:24,150 I'll talk to my buddy down at the station, stat. 188 00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:26,276 Hey, Pam. 189 00:10:26,799 --> 00:10:28,807 - Hey, what's up? - It's, uh... 190 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:32,203 - I was...might ask if you wanted... - Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 191 00:10:33,614 --> 00:10:36,296 He's not in the office. Can I take a message? 192 00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:38,577 I will. 193 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,485 You too. 194 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:45,194 - Sorry. What's up? - Um, if, uh... 195 00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,694 I just completely forgot what I was going to say. 196 00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:55,523 It's so weird. 197 00:10:56,195 --> 00:10:59,741 Okay. Well, if you think of it, I'll be here. 198 00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:01,663 Okay. 199 00:11:07,305 --> 00:11:11,219 So I called my buddy down at the station today. 200 00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:14,102 Had them run a background check on Josh Porter. 201 00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:16,672 See if there's any known aliases, et cetera. 202 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,121 And? 203 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,664 He wasn't volunteering today. 204 00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:26,104 Yeah. 205 00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:28,526 Things have been pretty crazy around the office. 206 00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,628 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 207 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:33,143 We moved Ryan over to your desk. 208 00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,137 Oh. Tell him I say hi. 209 00:11:35,263 --> 00:11:38,081 I will call him later with that message. 210 00:11:38,307 --> 00:11:40,323 Hey, how's... Toby? 211 00:11:40,914 --> 00:11:45,706 Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry. 212 00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:48,761 - Is he why you left? - Oh, no. It was just... 213 00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:51,456 you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. I got a chance to... 214 00:11:51,581 --> 00:11:53,487 Opportunity, promotion. Blah blah. 215 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,917 You know, Jim, those are just words. 216 00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:58,847 Have you taken into account other factors? 217 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,518 Vis-a-vis bosses? 218 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,326 Is Josh funnier than I am? 219 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,752 Does he even have a girlfriend? 220 00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:05,489 Because I have two, basically. 221 00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:08,199 Michael, it's really not a competition. 222 00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:12,909 Jim got us a great lead with a new rep from National Envelope. 223 00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:14,722 We can grab lunch with them tomorrow. 224 00:12:14,819 --> 00:12:15,823 Hey, Jan. Jan? 225 00:12:15,912 --> 00:12:18,101 Don't worry. I have got the tip. 226 00:12:18,293 --> 00:12:19,636 Whoa, Michael. 227 00:12:19,754 --> 00:12:21,940 - Wow. Oh, my God, thank you. - You're welcome. 228 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,214 - Was that your per diem? 229 00:12:23,401 --> 00:12:25,714 No, that was a different hundred dollar bill. 230 00:12:25,803 --> 00:12:27,349 What have you generated, Michael? 231 00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:31,409 I have generated a lot of interest in my party this evening. 232 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,581 - What party? - Party I'm having tonight in 308. 233 00:12:34,693 --> 00:12:36,315 Obviously, you are invited. 234 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:42,429 Michael, um... Jim and Josh are in meetings 235 00:12:42,524 --> 00:12:45,754 all day and I am in and out of meetings. 236 00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:50,278 I can't stay on top of you 24/7. 237 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,124 You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. 238 00:12:58,264 --> 00:12:59,843 So he knows you're worth it. 239 00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,491 If you do that, you're gonna have to put out. 240 00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,649 Oh, yeah. You'll have to put out. 241 00:13:09,327 --> 00:13:11,485 Is there a key for Jane Doe? 242 00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:14,618 Thank you. 243 00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,314 Any messages for 308? 244 00:13:20,806 --> 00:13:22,384 All right. 245 00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:24,181 Hey hey, fellers. 246 00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:25,814 - Michael. Hey, what's up? - Hey, Michael. 247 00:13:25,914 --> 00:13:28,992 Uh, well, Jim and I have a meeting with Uni-ball in about 45 minutes, 248 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,045 - so we should probably go. - Hey, check this out. 249 00:13:31,126 --> 00:13:33,501 How about that? A little friendly competition. 250 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,212 Stamford versus Scranton. 251 00:13:35,452 --> 00:13:38,736 - I don't think so. - Oh. Jim? 252 00:13:38,844 --> 00:13:42,400 Looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend. 253 00:13:42,715 --> 00:13:44,181 Fine. All right. 254 00:13:44,377 --> 00:13:46,549 Okay. Excellent. 255 00:13:47,422 --> 00:13:49,258 Oh, just shut it. 256 00:13:51,384 --> 00:13:52,774 Hey, Pam, what's up? 257 00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:57,899 Yeah--uh, no. Tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay? 258 00:13:58,293 --> 00:14:00,586 Yes. Say hi to Pam! 259 00:14:00,969 --> 00:14:02,680 Hi, Pam. 260 00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:04,711 Yes, that is Josh and Dwight and Jim. 261 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,696 Pam says hi. Have fun on your date. 262 00:14:08,661 --> 00:14:10,618 Very good. Talk to you later. Bye. 263 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,175 You first. 264 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:23,488 - Oh, nice try, Josh! - Not. It hit the rim. 265 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,668 Okay, and... 266 00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:29,379 Okay, double or nothing. 267 00:14:29,587 --> 00:14:32,020 What? We didn't bet anything, Michael. 268 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,066 - Well, let's... - You know, we should go. 269 00:14:34,195 --> 00:14:37,597 - Come on, come on. Come on! - We'll do it later. 270 00:14:38,748 --> 00:14:40,470 Say, while I have you here, 271 00:14:40,555 --> 00:14:43,516 can I talk to you about some new and exciting advances to our product line? 272 00:14:43,586 --> 00:14:44,279 Fine. 273 00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:46,103 Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. 274 00:14:46,204 --> 00:14:48,370 I think it's talking and being friends 275 00:14:48,446 --> 00:14:51,860 and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. 276 00:14:51,946 --> 00:14:55,699 Well... phooey on that. 277 00:14:55,777 --> 00:15:00,353 I, uh... I'm done. I am not going to be speaking with him anymore. 278 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:03,595 Whatevs. Long distance relationships never work. 279 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:05,181 That is so true. 280 00:15:06,735 --> 00:15:08,025 Ready? 281 00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:11,478 Okay, let me tell you what we're looking for. 282 00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:14,644 Sorry, my meeting ran late. 283 00:15:15,025 --> 00:15:17,892 - Really? - Yes, Jan. Really. 284 00:15:18,011 --> 00:15:20,605 With a rep from Hammermill. They're exclusive with Staples. 285 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:21,847 Used to be. 286 00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:24,144 Evan'll call you in the morning to work out the details. 287 00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,128 We can now sell Hammermill products. 288 00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:27,868 Yes! 289 00:15:28,858 --> 00:15:30,699 Well, Michael... 290 00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,863 I underestimated you. 291 00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:36,636 Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me. 292 00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,073 Dwight's room key. 293 00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:43,987 And Dwight's room. 294 00:15:45,108 --> 00:15:47,640 What can I say? Old habits die hard. 295 00:15:47,757 --> 00:15:48,990 D? 296 00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:53,359 Oh, my God. Dwight got a hooker. 297 00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:55,796 Oh, my God, I gotta call... 298 00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:58,531 I gotta call somebody. I don't even know who to call. 299 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:00,820 Dwight got a hooker! 300 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:06,327 So, Alan, Pam is obsessed with your cartoons. She reads them every day. 301 00:16:06,522 --> 00:16:07,835 Oh, great. 302 00:16:08,561 --> 00:16:12,190 I don't want ketchup. You love ketchup. He loves ketchup. 303 00:16:12,390 --> 00:16:14,807 So how do you come up with your cartoons? 304 00:16:16,857 --> 00:16:20,650 I just...I kinda think about stuff that I see. 305 00:16:21,079 --> 00:16:22,572 Or dream them. 306 00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:26,361 You dream in cartoons? How fun. 307 00:16:29,049 --> 00:16:30,703 Hey! First guest! 308 00:16:30,877 --> 00:16:33,321 You are going to have some tequila, my friend. 309 00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:35,860 I thought there was a party in here. 310 00:16:35,972 --> 00:16:36,977 This is the party. 311 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,500 - This is room 308? - Party central. 312 00:16:39,656 --> 00:16:42,446 So what can I do you for? All right. 313 00:16:45,745 --> 00:16:47,344 See this one is great. 314 00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:50,836 Because it could work on a couple of different levels. 315 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,070 Freedom fries for the table. 316 00:16:55,244 --> 00:16:57,732 Freedom fries. Yeah. 317 00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:00,651 Yeah, I mean, 318 00:17:00,881 --> 00:17:03,842 people always say, like, don't be edgy. But, 319 00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:05,685 I don't know any other way. 320 00:17:06,824 --> 00:17:08,545 Yeah, you get it. 321 00:17:23,944 --> 00:17:26,514 Well, it was really nice meeting you, Alan. 322 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,917 Yeah, next time bring some of your illustrations. I'll let you pick my brain. 323 00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:32,748 - More freedom fries. - Yeah. 324 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,238 - That's great. - Okay. 325 00:17:34,381 --> 00:17:37,769 I went on a date. It wasn't a love connection. 326 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:42,113 I think when I like someone again, I'll just kinda know. 327 00:18:02,599 --> 00:18:04,099 Michael. 328 00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:10,982 Am I the first to arrive? 329 00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:14,365 People have been filtering in and out. 330 00:18:16,247 --> 00:18:18,510 - Can I get a drink? - What? 331 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,104 - Can I get a drink? - Sure. 332 00:18:27,118 --> 00:18:30,607 - You like cosmos? - Yeah, sure. Sounds good. 333 00:18:31,453 --> 00:18:34,623 So why are you here? Is Josh busy? 334 00:18:34,831 --> 00:18:36,842 - Michael... - I get it, you know? 335 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,709 - Did I do something? - No, I totally get it. 336 00:18:38,763 --> 00:18:40,310 He made a better paper airplane. 337 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:43,177 Stamford is better in sales. 338 00:18:43,895 --> 00:18:46,258 I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. 339 00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:48,920 Wait wait wait, I didn't transfer because of you. 340 00:18:50,115 --> 00:18:53,615 You're a good boss. You're a great boss. 341 00:18:57,039 --> 00:18:58,832 Not better than Josh. 342 00:18:59,232 --> 00:19:00,769 Michael, it's not about... 343 00:19:03,089 --> 00:19:04,855 I transferred because of Pam. 344 00:19:07,215 --> 00:19:08,879 Oh, my God. 345 00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,683 You don't even know. She's single now. 346 00:19:12,835 --> 00:19:15,636 No, I heard something about that. 347 00:19:15,984 --> 00:19:18,824 It's just, I kind of put it all on the line. 348 00:19:20,857 --> 00:19:25,675 Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice. 349 00:19:29,062 --> 00:19:32,641 I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. 350 00:19:33,879 --> 00:19:35,780 Hey, you know what? I will talk to her. 351 00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:37,397 - No, that's okay. - Yeah. 352 00:19:37,518 --> 00:19:38,897 - That's all right. - I will. 353 00:19:39,099 --> 00:19:40,366 I'll talk to her. 354 00:19:41,466 --> 00:19:43,554 You should at least talk to...Roy. 355 00:19:43,659 --> 00:19:46,499 I mean, he knows exactly how you're feeling. 356 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:48,746 Yeah. 357 00:19:49,693 --> 00:19:50,996 Okay, maybe. 358 00:19:52,089 --> 00:19:54,371 - Are we early? - Hey, no. 359 00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,535 You know, people have been filtering in and out. 360 00:19:56,998 --> 00:19:59,274 - Hey. Evan, this is Jim. - How are ya? 361 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:03,555 - Hey, Arnie Risman. Michael, Jim. - Hey, Arnie, how you doing? 362 00:20:04,221 --> 00:20:06,636 - You guys work together? - No, we used to. 363 00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:08,309 - Yeah. - Now, we're friends. 364 00:20:08,856 --> 00:20:10,121 Best friends. 365 00:20:11,727 --> 00:20:14,671 Some people need dozens of friends 366 00:20:14,932 --> 00:20:17,335 to say, hey, look at me, I'm popular. 367 00:20:17,889 --> 00:20:21,062 But not me. I'm very picky. I need three. Maybe two? 368 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,499 When you meet that someone special, you'll just know. 369 00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:29,632 Because a real relationship... can't be forced. 370 00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:32,890 It should just come about effortledlessly. 371 00:20:34,502 --> 00:20:37,872 Would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? 372 00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:45,858 Whoa. What are all those stains? 373 00:20:45,991 --> 00:20:50,019 - Blood, urine, or semen. - Oh, God, I hope it's urine.