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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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I really like Valentine's Day
in this office.
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It's kind of like grade school...
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everybody gives out little
presents and stuff.
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Like last year,
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Jim gave me this card
with Dwight's head on it.
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It was horrifying and funny. And...
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Phyllis.
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You could just sign here.
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Roy and I are saving
for the wedding, so...
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I made him promise not to
get me anything too big.
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Happy Valentine's Day, Darling,
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love Bob Vance,
Vance Refrigeration.
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- Isn't he sweet ?
- Yeah.
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Such a sweetie.
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All right, Dwight. As you know,
I'm heading to New York today,
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doing a presentation on the branch
to the new CFO.
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- And you want me to come with you.
- No. Opposite of that.
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I will stay here and
run things on this end.
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Very good.
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Question. Will you be seeing Jan
when you're in New York ?
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I probably will. Why do you ask ?
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Well, it's Valentine's Day.
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And you guys, you know...
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Screwed.
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What is your problem ?
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This is a business trip.
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I would have to be a raving lunatic
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to try to talk to Jan about
what happened between us.
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Her words, not mine.
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She sent me an e-mail this morning.
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But, it is Valentine's Day.
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It's New York, city of love.
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Hey, Pam, you heard NY, right ?
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You want me to pick
you up anything ?
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- That's okay.
- All right.
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The best present would be,
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you do a good job in front
of the new CFO.
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Dude, I'm going to nail it.
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Me in New York ?
Oh, I own that city.
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Fuggit abat it !
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See ya !
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pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus
www.forom.com
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Well, here we go
on our way to New York.
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New York, New York.
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The city so nice,
they named it twice.
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Manhattan is the other name.
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So, I broke up with Katy
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and haven't been dating
anybody else.
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So this year, I don't have to worry
about Valentine's Day.
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It's gonna be good.
I invited a couple of friends over,
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we're gonna play some cards.
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And I'll end up winning
a lot of money,
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because, they're idiots.
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It's gonna be great.
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What's this ?
What is this ?
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I don't know.
It's on YOUR desk.
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Yeah, but who put it there ?
And for what purpose ?
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It was there when I sat down.
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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It's me.
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I'm the bobble head.
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Yes !
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Yeah.
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The meeting isn't till 3:00,
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but I always like to come
to New York a little bit early
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and hit some of my favorite haunts.
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Like right here is my favorite
New York pizza joint.
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And I'm gonna go get me
a New York slice.
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Hey, Kelly.
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- What's up ?
- Nothing.
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Oh, except, oh my God, Jim.
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Last night, Ryan and I totally,
finally, hooked up.
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- It was awesome.
- That's great.
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I'm really happy for you.
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I know. And it was so funny.
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'Cause we were at this bar
with his friends,
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and I was sitting next to him
the whole night.
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And he wasn't making a move,
so in my head, I was like,
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"Ryan, what's taking you so long ?"
And then he kissed me.
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And I didn't know what to say.
So I said,
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"Ryan, what took, you so long ?"
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I mean, I just said it to him.
Can you believe that ?
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Oh my God, Jim.
Is that embarrassing ?
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- I'm embarrassed.
- No, don't be. No.
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- Oh, thank God.
- All ri...
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Because I was nervous, Jim.
You will not believe.
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- I bet.
- I was so nervous.
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But now, now I have a boyfriend.
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All right.
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I hooked up with her
on February 13th.
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Here it is. Heart of New York City.
Times Square.
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Named for all the good times
you have when you're in it.
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Most people when they come
to New York,
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they go straight to
the Empire State Building.
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That's very touristy. I come here.
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Great places to eat.
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We have Bubba Gump Shrimp,
Red Lobster down there.
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You know. This is...
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this is the heart of civilization
right here.
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Guess what ?
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Really ?
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- They're from Bob again.
- That's great.
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Everybody takes the subway
in New York.
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It's fast, it's efficient,
gets you there on time.
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It's a way to... Okay.
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There's a guy pooping in
a cardboard box down there.
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This is the world-famous
Rockefeller Center.
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Founded of course,
by Theodore Rockefeller.
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This is the skating rink.
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And I think they Rangers,
practice there sometimes.
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And, it's... that's Tina Fey.
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That's Tina Fey
from Saturday Night Live.
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Hello, hello. Hi.
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Oh, I'm s... I'm sorry.
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I thought you were... okay.
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I thought that was...
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She looked like...
she looked a lot like Tina Fey.
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Hello, hello. I thought that was
Tina Fey, but it wasn't. So.
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Are you serious ?
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He was here ?
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When ? When I was talking to
the fake Tina Fey ?
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Come on ! No, are you s...
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Hello, Angela. Did you hear ?
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Somebody totally rocked the house
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and got me the best present
I've ever gotten.
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Really ?
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I wouldn't know anything
about that.
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- But I'm glad you enjoyed it.
- Oh, I did. I did.
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I didn't get anything
for Valentine's Day.
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Oh, I bet you will before
the day is over.
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Really ? Well, I hope I do.
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I would love to live
in New York some day.
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It's a big dream of mine.
Work corporate, with Jan.
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It'd be awesome.
Go to Broadway shows, eat hotdogs.
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Scranton is great, but New York...
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is like Scranton on acid.
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No, on speed. Nah.
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On steroids.
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Okay. Um, I think...
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that's either the Hudson or the East.
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So, we're back...
should be back this way.
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There is a lot of pressure
on me right now.
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It's like Michael Jordan
in the NBA finals,
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or like
Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf.
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And this presentation
is Desert Storm.
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And soon as it's over,
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we will not have to deal
with those Iraqis anymore.
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Let's do it.
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No, that's alright.
Spend the money on her
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instead of giving it to us.
That's fine.
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No, I didn't even have
a seat for you anyway.
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Yeah.
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All right, man.
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Okay, have a good night. Bye.
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Phyllis Lapin ?
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- Holy God.
- It's from Bob.
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Man, that thing's bigger than I am.
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- No, it's not.
- Oh, zip it.
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There they are. What's up ?
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-Hey.
- Hey, hey.
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- Michael Scott.
- Josh Porter. High five.
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- You know Dan Gordon from Buffalo.
- Yeah, how you doing ?
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Nobody needs to introduce this guy.
Craigers.
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- What's up, buddy ?
- You have been kicked out
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of every strip club in Albany.
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- Is that true ?
- Guilty, yeah.
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So what's going on,
what did I miss ?
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No much. They're,
I guess running late upstairs.
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So we're just waiting
for the presentation.
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Cool. Good. Good. Good.
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Give us some time
to catch up and...
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Pam, hi. How you doing ? Good.
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Listen, may I speak with you...
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privately ?
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You can't fire me, Dwight.
Just 'cause Michael's not here.
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No, Pam, just,
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Just...
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Please.
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You need to get something
for your... girlfriend ?
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Girlfriend. Yes.
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And the reason I didn't get
anything for this particular person,
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who shall remain nameless,
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is that she's not really
the kind of person
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you'd think would be
in to Valentine's Day.
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- She's kind of...
- Tightly wound ?
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Exactly.
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Okay. Well, sometimes the gift is
really about the gesture,
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00:09:12,258 --> 00:09:15,211
you know, like what it means
instead of what it is.
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You mean, like a ham ?
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No. Not like a ham.
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It's about doing something,
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so that the person knows
that you really care about her.
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- Okay, I get it.
- That you remember her.
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That's great. Okay, shut up.
I know exactly what to do.
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How about you, Craig ?
Did you lose anyone ?
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00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:40,001
Oh, man. Jan called me
in September.
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00:09:40,055 --> 00:09:41,860
And she's like,
you gotta fire four people.
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And I was just like, what ?
You know.
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00:09:45,937 --> 00:09:48,221
- Did you ?
- No, I just ignored her.
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00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,412
She's the worst.
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00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:51,003
Well, she's our boss.
204
00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:53,510
She ain't my boss, dude.
I don't work for that bitch.
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00:09:53,545 --> 00:09:55,061
Hey, come on.
206
00:09:55,076 --> 00:09:56,521
- You know, that's not...
- What ?
207
00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:57,931
- Just cool it.
- You like Jan ?
208
00:09:58,047 --> 00:09:59,043
How can you like Jan ?
209
00:09:59,088 --> 00:10:00,621
Maybe because she's my girlfriend.
210
00:10:03,617 --> 00:10:05,830
Was, or not my girlfriend.
She's...
211
00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:08,991
- we hooked up and...
- You hooked up with Jan ?
212
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,840
That was just, you know,
months ago.
213
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:13,720
It was just once.
God, it's just stupid.
214
00:10:13,777 --> 00:10:15,531
Just... forget it.
215
00:10:16,278 --> 00:10:18,333
- Yeah, let's change the subject.
- Yeah, yeah.
216
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,711
I don't know what he's thinking,
217
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,231
but I would just be so psyched
if we just dated forever.
218
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,250
Well, take it slow.
219
00:10:28,037 --> 00:10:30,062
'Cause it seems like
a lot of the time,
220
00:10:30,528 --> 00:10:31,891
things like that need to...
221
00:10:35,108 --> 00:10:36,222
Soda.
222
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:37,490
Cool.
223
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:44,561
Hey, so do you want to do
something tonight ?
224
00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:47,320
Oh, no, not while I'm here.
225
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,693
I mean, I know that
it's Valentine's Day or whatever,
226
00:10:49,725 --> 00:10:53,030
but there's totally no pressure
at all of any kind, whatsoever.
227
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,343
- So...
- I can't tonight.
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00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:55,762
I have plans with my friends.
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00:10:56,648 --> 00:10:57,433
Okay.
230
00:10:57,878 --> 00:10:59,210
- That's cool. I...
- Okay.
231
00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:01,183
- I completely understand.
- Cool.
232
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:02,810
Okay.
233
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:26,143
- Josh Porter, Stanford.
- Nice to meet you.
234
00:11:26,177 --> 00:11:27,541
And Michael Scott, Scranton.
235
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,302
- Nice to meet you.
- Ditto.
236
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:32,140
- How are you, Jan ?
- Fine, Michael, thank you.
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00:11:32,897 --> 00:11:35,021
Okay, so we are in the process
238
00:11:35,077 --> 00:11:38,050
of doing a complete review of
the company's financial strength.
239
00:11:38,276 --> 00:11:39,541
All I'd like to do today...
240
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,370
Nervous ? No, I'm not nervous.
241
00:11:41,545 --> 00:11:42,963
Well, I mean, I guess I'd be lying
242
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:44,793
if I didn't say
I was a little nervous.
243
00:11:44,858 --> 00:11:46,930
The new CFO is judging me
on this too.
244
00:11:46,988 --> 00:11:48,843
And, well, it is Michael. So...
245
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:52,052
yeah, I'm very nervous.
246
00:11:52,416 --> 00:11:57,372
So with the 12 new local accounts,
we had a total of 4% organic growth.
247
00:11:57,436 --> 00:11:59,970
Which was just above
our pre-year targets.
248
00:12:00,205 --> 00:12:01,890
- Thanks very much.
- Thank you.
249
00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:03,973
Okay, Michael.
250
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:11,870
What is a business ?
251
00:12:12,438 --> 00:12:16,613
Is it a collection of numbers
and sales reports ?
252
00:12:16,665 --> 00:12:21,933
Sure. But as you know,
David and Jan, it is much more.
253
00:12:40,388 --> 00:12:44,250
Life moves a little slower
in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
254
00:12:44,678 --> 00:12:46,592
And that's the way we like it.
255
00:12:47,008 --> 00:12:49,313
'Cause at Dunder Mifflin Scranton,
256
00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:51,962
we're not just
in the paper business.
257
00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:54,522
We're in the people business.
258
00:12:55,265 --> 00:12:59,353
Let's meet some of the folks
who make Scranton branch so special.
259
00:13:00,138 --> 00:13:04,510
This is Stanley Hudson,
one of our talented salesmen.
260
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:07,350
An African-American
father of two...
261
00:13:07,447 --> 00:13:11,183
Stanley's dedication is no doubt one
of the hallmarks of the foundation
262
00:13:11,235 --> 00:13:14,210
of the business we're hoping
to build our basis on.
263
00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:18,233
Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage
around the office,
264
00:13:18,288 --> 00:13:20,671
edited it together on my Mac.
265
00:13:20,955 --> 00:13:23,113
Was thinking about entering it
in some festivals.
266
00:13:23,276 --> 00:13:25,712
Probably won't.
You know, not what this is about.
267
00:13:27,065 --> 00:13:29,550
And finally, Pam Beesly.
268
00:13:29,865 --> 00:13:31,821
Look at her. Look how cute.
269
00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:34,043
Not bad at all.
270
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:39,660
As the receptionist, Pam is truly
the gateway to our world.
271
00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:42,620
Well, I hope this gave you
272
00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:46,333
a little taste of what life is like
here at Dunder Mifflin Scranton.
273
00:13:46,995 --> 00:13:49,743
What it's like to walk
a mile in Oscar's shoes.
274
00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:51,913
Or try on Phyllis' pants.
275
00:13:52,736 --> 00:13:54,983
Next time you're in town,
give us a call.
276
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:56,843
Stop on by.
277
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,890
I'm sure you'll be greeted
by a big smile
278
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:00,363
and a "How you doing, pal ?"
279
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:03,401
Maybe even one of
Angela's famous brownies.
280
00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:06,280
And you'll know that you're home.
281
00:14:16,988 --> 00:14:17,950
Great Scott !
282
00:14:20,165 --> 00:14:21,241
Questions ?
283
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:29,111
Okay, okay, thank you, Michael.
That was great.
284
00:14:29,206 --> 00:14:30,472
Yes, thank you.
285
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:32,861
But, for right now, what I'd really
like to know about
286
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:34,112
is the branch's performance.
287
00:14:35,047 --> 00:14:37,202
So do you have
that information as well ?
288
00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:41,730
Yes, absolutely, David.
289
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,421
Get that for you. I...
290
00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:50,751
- Can you sign ?
- Yeah.
291
00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:53,412
Oscar.
292
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:55,522
- Nothing for me ?
- Join the club.
293
00:14:59,627 --> 00:15:01,481
- Who's it from ?
- My mom.
294
00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:17,233
It's frustrating 'cause
we'd be so perfect together.
295
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,490
You know what ?
Here's the deal, Kelly.
296
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:23,060
It would be really nice
if he was into you, right ?
297
00:15:23,095 --> 00:15:25,032
It would be great. But he isn't.
298
00:15:25,835 --> 00:15:27,680
- You know.
- Yeah, but it would be so great
299
00:15:27,736 --> 00:15:29,450
- if he was...
- Well, he's not, though.
300
00:15:29,485 --> 00:15:30,680
So you just gotta suck it up.
301
00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:33,003
You just gotta move on.
Try to have some fun.
302
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:35,603
Come to my poker game tonight.
303
00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:36,992
Okay, cool.
304
00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:39,501
Is it okay if I invite Ryan ?
305
00:15:47,138 --> 00:15:48,963
And that about does it. Thank you.
306
00:15:49,457 --> 00:15:50,480
Okay.
307
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,121
Craig.
308
00:15:52,955 --> 00:15:54,721
Yeah, here's the deal.
309
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,820
I did not understand
this was supposed to be a...
310
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,832
full on, like, report or whatnot.
311
00:16:01,615 --> 00:16:05,790
I'm sorry, what did you think
"financial presentation" meant ?
312
00:16:05,916 --> 00:16:07,152
I was under the impression
313
00:16:07,196 --> 00:16:10,072
this was more of, like,
a meet-and-greet type of deal.
314
00:16:10,715 --> 00:16:14,613
So, does that mean that you don't
have the numbers on your branch ?
315
00:16:14,737 --> 00:16:16,101
That is correct, yes.
316
00:16:16,616 --> 00:16:18,993
Craig, you realize that we are trying
317
00:16:19,068 --> 00:16:21,670
to decide whether drastic steps
need to be taken.
318
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,231
Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know.
319
00:16:23,307 --> 00:16:26,742
Well, the point is that this doesn't
exactly bode well for your branch.
320
00:16:26,828 --> 00:16:28,133
Oh, man. You know what ?
321
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:31,303
Michael made that stupid movie.
He doesn't get in any trouble.
322
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:33,630
Maybe I should've slept
with you too.
323
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:40,643
- Okay, okay.
- No, no, no.
324
00:16:40,717 --> 00:16:42,382
- All right.
- I'm not, I just...
325
00:16:43,498 --> 00:16:45,902
I just don't know what to do
anymore, Michael.
326
00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:47,943
I mean, I'm probably
going to get fired.
327
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,790
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I...
328
00:16:49,957 --> 00:16:52,370
Michael, the CFO thinks
that we slept together.
329
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,033
Don't you understand ?
People get fired for much less.
330
00:16:55,198 --> 00:16:59,121
And I just can't believe
that you told everybody.
331
00:16:59,165 --> 00:17:00,950
And we didn't even sleep together !
332
00:17:01,076 --> 00:17:03,883
Technically, we fell asleep
in the same bed.
333
00:17:03,948 --> 00:17:05,170
- So...
- Oh, God.
334
00:17:05,678 --> 00:17:09,300
Michael, it was months ago.
It was once. It's over.
335
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:12,990
Do you understand ?
336
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,100
Yes. I'm sorry.
337
00:17:19,036 --> 00:17:23,311
I'll, fix this. I'll talk to him.
I'll talk to David.
338
00:17:24,355 --> 00:17:26,482
Surely, you cannot be serious.
339
00:17:26,548 --> 00:17:29,422
I am serious,
and don't call me Shirley.
340
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:30,983
Airplane.
341
00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:42,043
Women, are like wolves.
342
00:17:42,525 --> 00:17:44,650
If you want a wolf,
you have to trap it.
343
00:17:45,595 --> 00:17:46,931
You have to snare it.
344
00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:49,473
And then you have to tame it.
345
00:17:49,746 --> 00:17:51,981
Keep it happy.
Care for it. Feed it.
346
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:55,200
Lovingly, the way an animal
deserves to be loved.
347
00:17:57,407 --> 00:17:59,730
And my animal deserves
a lot of loving.
348
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,240
- Hey, babe.
- Hey.
349
00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:09,150
- You almost ready to go ?
- I guess, yeah.
350
00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:11,931
- What's wrong ?
- Nothing.
351
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,483
It's just that I had to sit here
all day while Phyllis got,
352
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:16,381
like, an entire garden
delivered to her.
353
00:18:17,116 --> 00:18:18,552
What, you're mad at me ?
354
00:18:19,406 --> 00:18:21,481
I mean, I know that
we said no big gifts,
355
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,623
but I was kind of hoping you'd get
me something for Valentine's Day.
356
00:18:24,745 --> 00:18:26,903
Well, Valentine's Day isn't over.
357
00:18:27,428 --> 00:18:31,240
Let's get you home, and you are
gonna get the best sex of your life.
358
00:18:34,256 --> 00:18:36,303
You understand this is
a very serious situation.
359
00:18:36,357 --> 00:18:38,133
No, no, no. Yes, I... Okay, well...
360
00:18:38,246 --> 00:18:40,151
All right, here's the deal.
This is my fault.
361
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:42,260
This is totally on me.
Before you guys came in,
362
00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:44,702
I was talking to the guys,
we were all chatting.
363
00:18:44,785 --> 00:18:46,942
And I made a joke.
364
00:18:47,055 --> 00:18:48,160
A really dumb joke.
365
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:50,312
And Craig the idiot
took it seriously.
366
00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,412
- You made a joke ?
- I did. It was stupid.
367
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,301
And Craig, you saw him,
368
00:18:55,377 --> 00:18:57,291
he's not the sharpest tool
in the shed.
369
00:18:57,997 --> 00:18:59,261
Although, he is a tool.
370
00:19:00,535 --> 00:19:02,141
Well, I don't need
to explain to you
371
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:04,691
that even a joke about sexual
relations with your boss...
372
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:06,783
I know, it was borderline at best.
373
00:19:06,848 --> 00:19:10,733
And... and Jan
is a fantastic executive
374
00:19:10,877 --> 00:19:12,750
and has all the integrity
in the world.
375
00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:16,311
And, I'm really sorry.
376
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:18,021
It'll never happen again.
377
00:19:22,605 --> 00:19:25,003
It's fine. Let's just...
just forget it.
378
00:19:26,008 --> 00:19:27,220
Good.
379
00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:39,812
- Heading out ?
- Yeah.
380
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:44,273
All right, Beesly.
Hey, Happy Valentine's Day.
381
00:19:45,658 --> 00:19:46,672
Bye.
382
00:19:51,248 --> 00:19:53,361
- Good night, Pam.
- Night, Phyllis.
383
00:20:00,777 --> 00:20:02,581
Thank you again, for that, really.
384
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:04,262
- It was very nice.
- No big deal.
385
00:20:04,345 --> 00:20:07,060
- Really, sorry again.
- Oh, no. It's... it's okay.
386
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,423
It's okay.
387
00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:11,571
So... Happy Valentine's Day.
388
00:20:11,696 --> 00:20:13,430
Yeah, Happy Valentine's Day.
389
00:20:33,306 --> 00:20:35,760
Oi vey...schmear.