1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,507 --> 00:00:04,879 - Vancouver Hotel, how may I help you ? - Hey, Vancouver. 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,338 This is Michael Scott, calling from the United States of America. 3 00:00:08,655 --> 00:00:12,267 I have a reservation in your fair city from February 12th 4 00:00:12,392 --> 00:00:14,948 through the 19th, first week of the Olympics. 5 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,774 We're looking forward to having you, so let me pull up your information here. 6 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,193 I don't seem to have it, sir. 7 00:00:21,318 --> 00:00:22,146 What? 8 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,320 I'm not seeing anything under confirmation. 9 00:00:24,445 --> 00:00:27,005 Could it be under affirmation? You have thousands of those. 10 00:00:27,130 --> 00:00:28,736 We're trying to look it up. 11 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,069 You did get the e-vite to my barbecue! 12 00:00:31,194 --> 00:00:32,194 Come on. 13 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,496 A lot of people are trying to get last-minute reservations at hotels here, 14 00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,846 but we've been fully booked for months. 15 00:00:38,971 --> 00:00:42,583 I have been booked for three years. So you should have that. 16 00:00:42,755 --> 00:00:45,302 I have always heard that British Columbia is a nice place, 17 00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:47,880 but I'm not getting that from this conversation. 18 00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:50,007 Wait! I got it! Confirmation code... 19 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,342 XV2RDM! 20 00:00:54,746 --> 00:00:55,819 Here it is. 21 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,350 Seven nights in our street view economy single. 22 00:00:59,695 --> 00:01:00,695 That's it. 23 00:01:01,007 --> 00:01:03,813 We changed systems a while back. I do apologize. 24 00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:07,358 - How may I help you, Mr. Scott? - All right. 25 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,902 I would like to cancel my reservation, please. 26 00:01:10,256 --> 00:01:12,243 There is a cancellation fee for this, sir. 27 00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:14,220 Put it on my card. 28 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,993 - Feygnasse Team - Transcript : MY-SUBS 29 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:20,037 .:: La Fabrique ::. 30 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,081 Collioure 31 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,874 Jarick 32 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,459 Titou 33 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:26,961 Floc 34 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,462 Sk0r 35 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,964 The Ni.Knight 36 00:01:33,031 --> 00:01:35,094 Episode 6x15 Manager and Salesman 37 00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:38,177 Today Jo Bennett, the CEO from Sabre, is coming 38 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,175 to see us here for the first time. 39 00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:44,061 She bought us sight unseen, like a mail order bride. 40 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,990 So she's gotta be kinda nervous. 41 00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:48,490 I mean, are we ugly? Are we smart? 42 00:01:48,615 --> 00:01:50,565 Are we cool? Are we too cool? 43 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,236 Do we speak english? 44 00:01:57,304 --> 00:01:58,951 Why, hello! 45 00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:02,178 This is Michael Scott, co-regional manager of this branch. 46 00:02:02,303 --> 00:02:03,998 Pleasure to meet you, Miss Bennett. 47 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,343 That's Mrs. Bennett. My husband and I are divorced, but I kept the Mrs. 48 00:02:07,468 --> 00:02:09,086 Just to piss off the new wife. 49 00:02:10,102 --> 00:02:11,955 Let's take a gander around this place. 50 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,028 These sure are pretty dogs. 51 00:02:14,239 --> 00:02:16,969 - They love a good crotch. - They sure do. 52 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,637 Take that as a compliment. 53 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,740 I do. 54 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,812 Do you always stay seated when a lady enters? 55 00:02:27,093 --> 00:02:30,156 I am treating you the same as a man for whom I would also not stand. 56 00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:32,693 Unless it was the President. Or Judge Judy. 57 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:35,712 I like that. 58 00:02:36,348 --> 00:02:37,656 This is accounting. 59 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,907 Good-looking group. 60 00:02:40,032 --> 00:02:42,495 Over here is Meredith Palmer, Creed Bratton. 61 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,592 Another couple of heartbreakers. Who's this tall drink of sun tea? 62 00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:49,156 That is Jim Halpert. He is the co-regional manager. 63 00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:52,717 - I thought this guy was the manager. - He is. He's the comanager. 64 00:02:52,842 --> 00:02:55,299 - That's the other comanager. - Two guys doing one job? 65 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,870 We gotta do something about that. 66 00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:04,114 Got some Valentines cards for my coworkers 67 00:03:04,239 --> 00:03:06,227 and my bro-workers. 68 00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:08,779 No candy? 69 00:03:08,904 --> 00:03:10,648 Valentine's day, around the corner. 70 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,844 Erin and I have been on zero dates. 71 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,194 So I got her a card. 72 00:03:15,469 --> 00:03:17,668 But I didn't want to seem too eager, 73 00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:21,742 so I got cards for everyone to kind of dilute it a little bit. 74 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:22,846 Look alive. 75 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,205 Jeez, you gave me a paper cut on my throat! 76 00:03:26,462 --> 00:03:29,901 I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. 77 00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:32,131 Don't try to cut my throat. 78 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,547 Jo, I don't know how things work in Florida, 79 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,058 which, from your description, 80 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,926 sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp. 81 00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:40,627 But, here, 82 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,283 it takes two men to do one job, 83 00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:46,016 where in Florida, it might take one very strong woman 84 00:03:46,733 --> 00:03:48,435 to do such a job. 85 00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:50,330 I'll take over. 86 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,700 What we're doing here? Michael handles more of the big picture stuff, 87 00:03:54,825 --> 00:03:57,236 and I handle more of the day-to-day stuff. 88 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,446 - So together... - I think I understand. 89 00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:02,616 - All right. - Each of you is doing half a job. 90 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,284 And sometimes I can hardly handle that. 91 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,093 Now, this is knucklehead talk. I'm not gonna abide it, you know. 92 00:04:08,218 --> 00:04:11,683 You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly, 'cause gravy ain't sweet... 93 00:04:11,808 --> 00:04:13,531 - Is it, Jim? - I don't think so. 94 00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:15,588 - Michael? - Forget the question. 95 00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:18,305 I think one of you should return to sales 96 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,967 and the other will be manager. 97 00:04:20,405 --> 00:04:22,688 I humbly accept the management position. 98 00:04:23,532 --> 00:04:26,565 - Why would you automatically get it? - Because... Well, Jim, 99 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,759 where I'm from, there're two types of folk: 100 00:04:28,884 --> 00:04:32,605 those who ain't, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. 101 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,595 Which type ain't you ain't? 102 00:04:35,457 --> 00:04:36,483 Y'all come back. 103 00:04:38,218 --> 00:04:40,219 Do you even know what that means? 104 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,876 I'm gonna let this marinate, so you can go. 105 00:04:43,605 --> 00:04:44,805 You can go on. 106 00:04:47,406 --> 00:04:49,373 I'm Joleen Bennett. Jo for short. 107 00:04:49,782 --> 00:04:51,248 I'm a breast cancer survivor. 108 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,483 Close, personal friends with Nancy Pelosi, 109 00:04:53,608 --> 00:04:56,295 and Truman Capote and I slept with three of the same guys. 110 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,797 When I was a little girl, I was terrified to fly, 111 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,987 and now I have my own pilot's license. 112 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:04,303 I am CEO of Sabre International, and I sell the best damn printers 113 00:05:04,428 --> 00:05:07,890 and all-in-one machines Korea can make. Pleased to meet you. 114 00:05:08,422 --> 00:05:09,475 Traffic jam. 115 00:05:09,895 --> 00:05:11,143 Traffic jam on route 3. 116 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:16,131 - 20 people dead in a pileup. - There's blood everywhere! 117 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,318 I got you a Valentine's card. 118 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,486 You did? 119 00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:23,781 A bird and a dog. 120 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,407 It's Snoopy and Woodstock. 121 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,533 You named them? 122 00:05:27,171 --> 00:05:28,452 Charles Schulz did. 123 00:05:28,772 --> 00:05:31,294 I thought it was relevant 'cause of those birds for Christmas. 124 00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:33,414 - Remember? - I do remember. 125 00:05:34,353 --> 00:05:35,709 They love each other. 126 00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:38,545 Look at that. They sure do. I hadn't noticed. 127 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,839 It smells really good too. 128 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,425 It's Roger Federer for men. I sprayed some in there. 129 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:46,553 Thank you. 130 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:48,594 It's got pheromones in it. 131 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,268 Just choosin' seats. Not getting married. 132 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,103 Chop-chop, little onion. 133 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,189 Jo, there's books in my chair. 134 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,669 That's right, darling. 135 00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:01,837 Now you're the proud new owner of a Sabre handbook 136 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,612 and my autobiography. 137 00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:06,022 Now, you all must be in a tizzy. 138 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,544 I can see it on your faces. What's going on now? 139 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,786 I mean, who owns Dunder Mifflin, right? 140 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,561 I mean, Sabre? 141 00:06:12,983 --> 00:06:13,983 What's that? 142 00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,510 Some company we never heard of from down in Tallahassee? 143 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,535 Where is that? Near Mars? 144 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,592 We know. Texas. 145 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:25,319 Now, Dunder Mifflin has an arm's reach 146 00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:27,928 into all these small businesses all over the Northeast. 147 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:30,149 And now we're gonna take that arm... 148 00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,145 and we're gonna start selling... 149 00:06:34,538 --> 00:06:35,352 printers. 150 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,021 I could manage my way. 151 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:38,814 They're the easiest in the market. 152 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,232 I will try to manage my excitement. 153 00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:45,459 I have been saying the word "manager" a lot, 154 00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:48,534 so whenever Jo thinks manager, she thinks of me. 155 00:06:50,251 --> 00:06:52,229 Camel cigarettes did the same with Joe Camel 156 00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:54,108 by making him look like a penis. 157 00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:57,042 I can't even go near a cigarette now 158 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,672 without thinking of a penis. 159 00:06:58,797 --> 00:06:59,960 And vice versa. 160 00:07:00,228 --> 00:07:01,378 I think that's it. 161 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,946 So we're all good. 162 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,581 Thanks, y'all. 163 00:07:14,354 --> 00:07:15,601 I guess Andy likes me. 164 00:07:15,949 --> 00:07:18,074 I never thought of him in that way. 165 00:07:18,199 --> 00:07:21,088 But I guess in romantic comedies, the guy you're supposed to be with 166 00:07:21,213 --> 00:07:23,261 is the one you never thought of in that way. 167 00:07:23,386 --> 00:07:26,435 You might have even thought he was annoying or possibly homosexual. 168 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,530 So check this out. 169 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:30,256 According to the handbook, 170 00:07:30,381 --> 00:07:33,009 you could make more money as a salesman than as a manager. 171 00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:36,663 They have all these incentive programs. I ran your numbers from last year. 172 00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:38,697 This is way more than I make now. 173 00:07:38,822 --> 00:07:40,749 I don't think I'm gonna miss being manager. 174 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,903 Some people say it isn't for the money. 175 00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:44,758 With all due respect to this job, 176 00:07:44,883 --> 00:07:46,812 I think I'm definitely in it for the money. 177 00:07:47,072 --> 00:07:48,733 And, quite honestly, the women. 178 00:07:50,575 --> 00:07:51,929 - Got a second? - Sure. 179 00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:55,349 Are you here to tell me that you think I would be a better manager 180 00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,601 and that you are sorry for being such a jerk? 181 00:07:58,010 --> 00:07:59,402 Actually, yeah. 182 00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:01,533 What? 183 00:08:02,073 --> 00:08:05,734 Exactly that. I think you deserve the manager position more than I do. 184 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:08,866 What? 185 00:08:09,459 --> 00:08:10,197 Really? 186 00:08:17,016 --> 00:08:18,163 Michael. Reading. 187 00:08:18,345 --> 00:08:20,249 - What are you reading? - The Atlantic. 188 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,543 That is my favorite ocean... I love it! 189 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,086 I'm so happy right now. 190 00:08:24,382 --> 00:08:26,088 No! I can't keep it any longer. 191 00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:30,399 Jim's stepping down to salesman. I am going to be the sole manager. 192 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,511 I should step into sales myself. 193 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,471 Why? Is there an untapped gay market? 194 00:08:35,595 --> 00:08:37,720 Sabre has no caps on commissions. 195 00:08:37,845 --> 00:08:39,685 He can make a lot more money in sales. 196 00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:46,692 Where did you get that? 197 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:47,783 Manual. 198 00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:49,403 Manuel who? 199 00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:52,814 Well, according to the manual, 200 00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:55,032 there is no cap on commissions. 201 00:08:55,157 --> 00:08:56,658 I have been hustled. 202 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:00,330 Son of a bitch. 203 00:09:00,969 --> 00:09:01,969 Pardon me. 204 00:09:02,582 --> 00:09:05,352 Speak of the devil. We were talking about you. Have a seat. 205 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,220 Now, Jim here is... 206 00:09:07,474 --> 00:09:10,420 thinking about taking himself out of the running for being manager. 207 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:11,717 Really? 208 00:09:12,061 --> 00:09:14,219 That is so sweet of you! 209 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,284 But... 210 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:19,715 I cannot accept, because I have been thinking about it, 211 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,865 and I think I want to go back to sales. 212 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,270 Really? 213 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,181 You can take the man out of the salesman, 214 00:09:25,306 --> 00:09:27,566 but you can't take the sales out of salesman. 215 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,610 I think you're both being too modest. 216 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,848 I really, really think Michael is better at being manager 217 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,560 for so many reasons. 218 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,575 I think I would be bad. 219 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:39,819 I would sleep in my office, 220 00:09:39,944 --> 00:09:41,697 and I would sexually harass people. 221 00:09:41,822 --> 00:09:43,373 - Why? - I'm turning myself in. 222 00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:46,938 You know, you have more experience in sales and management, 223 00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,879 so I'm gonna defer to your judgment. 224 00:09:49,971 --> 00:09:52,445 I think you will become the salesman, 225 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:54,054 And congratulations... 226 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,637 You're gonna be the new manager! 227 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,685 Great! That's great. 228 00:09:58,810 --> 00:09:59,908 Congratulations. 229 00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:02,665 Have fun signing my commission checks, boss. 230 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,352 Michael marked his heights. 231 00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,025 He's grown. 232 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,849 Bobcat, this is Dragon. 233 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,701 Listen, he's been promoted to sole manager. 234 00:10:21,826 --> 00:10:23,298 We have got to step this up. 235 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,073 Meet me behind the dumpster in 90 seconds. 236 00:10:26,636 --> 00:10:27,441 89... 237 00:10:27,913 --> 00:10:28,731 88... 238 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,546 You're 20 minutes late. 239 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,132 I was at another dumpster. 240 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,500 Just admit you lost track of time. 241 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,607 Ryan and I have been meeting up to work on our diabolical plot against Jim. 242 00:10:40,732 --> 00:10:42,724 Ryan is always late for our meetings. 243 00:10:43,863 --> 00:10:45,544 I wish I had a lair. 244 00:10:46,469 --> 00:10:47,688 Did you see Saw? 245 00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,749 Course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time. 246 00:10:51,306 --> 00:10:53,633 The movie. Did you see the movie Saw? 247 00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,995 Great film. Almost as fun as going on a seesaw. 248 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,117 The reason these movies are so popular 249 00:11:00,632 --> 00:11:03,269 is the element of psychological torment. 250 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,621 I like where you're going with this. 251 00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:06,707 Continue. 252 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,710 Can we lure him into an old warehouse or something? 253 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,643 I've an old barn. It's kinda smelly, 254 00:11:11,768 --> 00:11:13,463 but that might be a plus. Then what? 255 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,382 We do what they did in Saw. 256 00:11:19,459 --> 00:11:21,805 - We don't kill him, obviously. - I don't. 257 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,807 - I have a mask... - That's your idea? 258 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,747 Exactly like in the movie? 259 00:11:25,872 --> 00:11:28,574 That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life! 260 00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:30,176 Suggest something else then... 261 00:11:30,301 --> 00:11:32,331 - He has cut his leg off? - Don't criticize... 262 00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:34,711 - Think! - You think of something then! 263 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,459 Michael, I'm worried that not all your toys are gonna fit 264 00:11:39,584 --> 00:11:41,533 - on your new desk. - How is that possible? 265 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,300 In your old office, there were all those ledges and extra space. 266 00:11:44,425 --> 00:11:45,954 No excuses, Erin. Come on! 267 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,372 Make it happen. 268 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,751 I should get back to work. Jim asked me to do some stuff, 269 00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:52,270 and he's manager. 270 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,295 - Fine, leave it here. - All right. 271 00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:59,228 I have to make some sales anyway. 272 00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:01,898 Who should I call with my magic sales fingers? 273 00:12:08,149 --> 00:12:11,093 - Michael Scott, head of sales. - You gotta do something, man. 274 00:12:11,218 --> 00:12:12,968 You can't just sit there. 275 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,158 The new I.T. guy... 276 00:12:21,488 --> 00:12:24,419 He's the key, he's very trusting. He's looking for friends. 277 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,649 He's been given an awesome amount of power 278 00:12:26,774 --> 00:12:28,538 and does not know how to wield it. 279 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,756 Like Frodo. 280 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,261 Why don't you just let me handle the Tolkien references. 281 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,544 Okay, dumb jock? 282 00:12:35,697 --> 00:12:38,297 I think he can be corrupted. Like Gollum. 283 00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:42,886 Smeagol was corrupted and became Gollum. 284 00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:46,139 I might start a diabolical plot against him after this one. 285 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,142 Who's hungry? 286 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,070 - What's that? - That's ants on a log. 287 00:12:51,195 --> 00:12:53,438 Michael would have me bring them in at 2:30 and say 288 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,945 "who's hungry?" 289 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,567 I'm fine. Thank you, though. 290 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,569 Do you want me to make you dizzy? 291 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,821 Why would I want? 292 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,636 It's a thinking technique. All the top executives do it. 293 00:13:03,761 --> 00:13:07,043 It keeps the brain moving and a spinning brain is a working brain. 294 00:13:07,168 --> 00:13:08,846 For now, I'm just gonna... 295 00:13:09,085 --> 00:13:10,869 - go back to work here. - Sure. 296 00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:12,555 - Thank you. - Well... 297 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,647 It will be a pleasure doing business with you. 298 00:13:16,772 --> 00:13:18,072 Thanks. Bye-bye. 299 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,135 I got a new account. 300 00:13:23,782 --> 00:13:26,012 The gentleman's club in Carbondale. 301 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,680 It is called Curves. 302 00:13:28,112 --> 00:13:29,747 I went by there the other day. 303 00:13:29,872 --> 00:13:33,062 Saw some of the women walking in. Not really my cup of tea. 304 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,063 Actually, Kevin, you might like it. 305 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,393 Nice. 306 00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:40,527 We really don't announce out loud our sales that much. 307 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,821 Why not? It's part of the sales experience. 308 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,939 It's not really 1992 anymore. 309 00:13:49,046 --> 00:13:50,954 "You brighten my day with your voice. 310 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:54,341 "You bring so much laughter and love. You're everything to me, 311 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,878 "And I was so blessed when God sent you here to me." 312 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:57,836 Jeez... 313 00:13:58,076 --> 00:13:59,880 I know. Obsessed with me much? 314 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,146 - Everyone got one. - What did yours say? 315 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:05,361 "Friends are worth sharing a doghouse with." 316 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:09,413 It's no wonder that Andy gave Kelly such a romantic card. 317 00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:11,059 I can't compete with her. 318 00:14:11,362 --> 00:14:13,423 That girl can sing and dance 319 00:14:13,630 --> 00:14:16,025 and gets all of her clothes at the mall... 320 00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:19,849 I feel like such a fool for thinking that Andy was only going after one girl. 321 00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:22,124 'cause Andy Bernard is a playboy, 322 00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:24,259 And why shouldn't he be? 323 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:25,882 He's got it all. 324 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,739 There he is, the I.T. guy. 325 00:14:32,678 --> 00:14:34,164 You discovered the break room. 326 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,665 I imagine a great thing about being an I.T. guy, 327 00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,669 is to know everyone's computer passwords. 328 00:14:40,106 --> 00:14:41,364 I actually don't. 329 00:14:43,221 --> 00:14:45,217 Listen. I know you have to say that, 330 00:14:45,535 --> 00:14:47,172 but we got a little problem here. 331 00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:49,669 There is a employee named Jim Halpert. 332 00:14:49,794 --> 00:14:51,635 He's doing some terrible things. 333 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,767 He's molesting people via the internet, 334 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:55,638 and we need to stop him. 335 00:14:56,574 --> 00:14:58,313 You should call the cops... 336 00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:00,440 The cops called us. 337 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:02,984 So I'm gonna need you 338 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,802 to give me the password 339 00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,406 to Jim Halpert's computer. 340 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,548 I don't know what to tell you, man, I'm sorry. 341 00:15:08,673 --> 00:15:10,450 I can't give out his password. 342 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,646 We could make things very... 343 00:15:13,306 --> 00:15:14,746 very difficult for you. 344 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:17,370 Are you... 345 00:15:18,204 --> 00:15:20,249 - You threatening me? - Threatening you? 346 00:15:34,361 --> 00:15:36,558 What is that smell? Do you smell that? 347 00:15:37,597 --> 00:15:38,663 What is that? 348 00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,518 Like a sulfur deposit under here? 349 00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:43,326 Stop. 350 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,640 I'm serious. We don't have to put up... 351 00:15:46,342 --> 00:15:47,592 Is it the dogs? 352 00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:50,240 We don't have to deal with this. 353 00:15:50,865 --> 00:15:53,234 I'm going to google sulfur maps. 354 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:54,995 It's Phyllis. 355 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,498 No, this is geological. 356 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,816 I sent an email out to everyone in this area that... 357 00:16:02,076 --> 00:16:05,488 this might be a side effect to my new allergy medication I'm on. 358 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,592 Are you kidding me? 359 00:16:10,987 --> 00:16:12,556 And you guys are okay with this? 360 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,035 She sent an email... 361 00:16:33,097 --> 00:16:34,534 It's not 'cause of the smell. 362 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,494 I'm just expecting a nosebleed. 363 00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:45,837 You scared me. 364 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,339 I thought you saw me. 365 00:16:47,787 --> 00:16:49,137 I didn't see you. 366 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,176 And you were there all along. 367 00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:56,512 I warmed it up for you. So should be good to go. 368 00:16:56,637 --> 00:16:58,587 - Cool. Thanks. - Bye, Andy. 369 00:17:04,471 --> 00:17:05,721 That was weird. 370 00:17:06,148 --> 00:17:07,123 It ain't. 371 00:17:07,248 --> 00:17:09,027 We all saw the Valentine you gave her. 372 00:17:09,422 --> 00:17:11,071 I don't even know what it said. 373 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,400 Believe me, if I got that card, 374 00:17:13,882 --> 00:17:17,404 we'd be in the bathroom doing it right now. 375 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,471 It's funny, I used to stand in here and wish I was out there. 376 00:17:29,596 --> 00:17:31,549 Now I'm out there, and I wish I was in here. 377 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,176 The grass is always greener. 378 00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:35,805 Except there's no grass out there. 379 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,306 It's just a farty dirt patch. 380 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:42,012 - It's what you wanted. - I really need my job back. 381 00:17:42,137 --> 00:17:45,670 - We made a terrible mistake here. - For the record, I fought this. 382 00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,501 All right? And now... 383 00:17:47,626 --> 00:17:48,942 I'm not sure what we do. 384 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,351 We make a poster that says "Happy Opposite Day", 385 00:17:52,476 --> 00:17:53,863 and she sees it. 386 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,231 That's stupid. 387 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:59,678 I wish we had one of those amnesia flashlights from Men in Black and... 388 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,739 What was that movie where their boss was within earshot, 389 00:18:03,864 --> 00:18:05,785 and they could have gone and talked to her? 390 00:18:06,244 --> 00:18:07,721 - Lethal Weapon? - That's it. 391 00:18:07,846 --> 00:18:09,462 We should do it the Lethal Weapon way. 392 00:18:09,807 --> 00:18:12,677 You two are grown-ass men. What do I have to do, 393 00:18:12,802 --> 00:18:15,593 fire you and get two people in here who don't need so much management? 394 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,553 What? 395 00:18:17,106 --> 00:18:19,188 Michael's saying he's better at being a manager, 396 00:18:19,313 --> 00:18:21,889 and I agree, because he's a better people person, weirdly. 397 00:18:22,014 --> 00:18:24,964 And weirdly, I'm a good dog person, right, guys? 398 00:18:25,089 --> 00:18:26,229 See? They love me. 399 00:18:26,485 --> 00:18:29,985 Fine. I don't care which one of you does which job, just... 400 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,026 stop meetin' with me to talk about it. 401 00:18:33,510 --> 00:18:35,030 - All right. - All right. 402 00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:37,634 I gotta take this. 403 00:18:39,545 --> 00:18:41,072 Finish walking my dogs for me, 404 00:18:41,197 --> 00:18:43,871 and don't ride 'em. Lotta people try to ride 'em. 405 00:18:49,237 --> 00:18:50,086 Everyone. 406 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,176 Please check your emails. I just sent you the following message. 407 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,175 "Coworkers, you may have received a Valentine from me. 408 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,115 "Please understand this does not mean that I like you in any way. 409 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,223 You don't even like us as friends? 410 00:19:02,954 --> 00:19:05,125 You guys are like my closest friends. 411 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,270 I just mean I don't like like you. 412 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:10,162 - What are we, five? - "Please don't read into this card. 413 00:19:10,287 --> 00:19:12,895 "Yours, in professionalism, Nard Dog." 414 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,913 Why did I receive a mass email from you that said that you don't like me? 415 00:19:17,038 --> 00:19:19,616 Do you realize how hard that makes me like you, Andy? 416 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:20,597 It's... 417 00:19:21,512 --> 00:19:22,553 That wasn't... 418 00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:25,727 I like someone else. 419 00:19:26,192 --> 00:19:27,066 Who? 420 00:19:29,479 --> 00:19:30,404 It's... 421 00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:31,796 not... 422 00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,089 whether or not... 423 00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:39,189 Who? What? 424 00:19:39,314 --> 00:19:40,428 I guess Andy 425 00:19:40,797 --> 00:19:42,197 never liked Kelly. 426 00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:44,557 How about that? 427 00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:48,339 It smells good in here. 428 00:19:48,464 --> 00:19:49,614 It sure does. 429 00:19:50,141 --> 00:19:51,231 We have your... 430 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,821 space heater, your humidifier, your dehumidifier, 431 00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:56,728 your fan, your foot fan, and your food dehydrator. 432 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,322 What about my keyboard? 433 00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:06,631 So good to be home. 434 00:20:09,195 --> 00:20:11,021 How 'bout a little bossa nova? 435 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,472 He looks happy. 436 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:30,987 Boss for... 437 00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:32,710 what was it? 438 00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:35,096 4 and an half hours? 439 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,652 New record... Low. 440 00:20:38,252 --> 00:20:40,281 Previous record, Henry Rostin. 441 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,355 Boss for nine years, four months. 442 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,328 And he only left because he had family matters to attend to... 443 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,286 What... 444 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,701 I can't help but think that something we did made this possible. 445 00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:00,674 Jim dug his own grave. 446 00:21:00,799 --> 00:21:03,251 But maybe we provided the shovel. 447 00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:05,583 Temp, I like that. 448 00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:08,118 We're gonna engrave that into a piece of wood. 449 00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:10,853 - Go celebrate with a drink? - I would love to. 450 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:15,806 Why not? 451 00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:18,459 Because Martini bars are pretentious. No, thank you. 452 00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:21,097 Sorry that I don't want farm boy swill like you do, you know. 453 00:21:21,222 --> 00:21:24,976 It is not farm boy swill, I'll show you. It is beet vodka and it's delicious. 454 00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:28,026 I'm not interested in anything I've to make myself.