1
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:10,905
DWIGHT: I have the best
stocked survival shelter
in northeastern Pennsylvania.

2
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,071
But everything
has a shelf life.

3
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:16,082
So I must eat and
then replace everything
that's about to expire.

4
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,050
It's nice not to
have to plan my meals.

5
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:20,781
You're eating
eight-year-old tomatoes.

6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,015
They're still good
for another week.

7
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,751
You know, I think I
might have some type
of cheese

8
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,417
in the back of my
fridge you might like.

9
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,825
I've got some cheese
you might like, too.

10
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,791
In between my toes.

11
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,160
DWIGHT: Hardy-har-har.
All right, picture this.

12
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,663
Snowy ash drizzles
from the sky.

13
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,995
A rabid pack of
dogs surrounds you

14
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,164
as the flame at the end
of your stick dies out.

15
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,108
There's only one
hope left for you,
the door to my shelter.

16
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:46,271
You pound. You beg.
"Dwight, please let me in."

17
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,975
But I ignore your cries
and do not let you in.
You want to know why?

18
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,450
Because of the sign
that says, "No pounding.
No begging."

19
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,578
No, because you
laughed at me.

20
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:56,419
Kevin will be eaten.
Pam will be taken slave.

21
00:00:57,024 --> 00:01:00,324
Jim will be made
a warlord's jester.
Meredith will do okay.

22
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,524
Be assured this day
will come. It's just
a matter of time.

23
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,394
Could be one month,
could be two months.

24
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,698
Three months.
Could be.

25
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,501
Four months.

26
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,662
I see that happening, yes.

27
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,104
Eight months?

28
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,202
That's a realistic timeline.

29
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,978
Eleven months.

30
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,105
Perhaps.

31
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,776
Okay, wait,
now really think hard
about this one.

32
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,113
One year.

33
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,679
I could see that as
a very real possibility.

34
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,288
Four hundred and
ninety-four months.

35
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,557
I could see that happening.

36
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,790
Four hundred and
ninety-five months.
That's just...

37
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:43,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

38
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,918
I really
thought I was becoming
too much of a womanizer.

39
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,081
I realized I had shirts
in five different
women's houses.

40
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,552
Still not seeing
the problem there.

41
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,615
All right.

42
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,787
Truth is,
I got a couple love
bumps on my ding-dong,

43
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,854
so I was like,
"Game over."

44
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,861
MICHAEL: It was the best
of times. It was the
"awesomest" of times.

45
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,336
And now Packer
wants to come home.

46
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:20,839
And look who's here
to sign off on it.

47
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,398
My boo, Holly.

48
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,171
Hi.
Hi.

49
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:27,772
You must be Todd.

50
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,282
Whoa, I'm sorry.

51
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,011
Michael, I thought
we were meeting
Holly today,

52
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,177
not Jennifer Aniston.

53
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,946
Very funny.

54
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,820
Okay, let's get started.
After you.

55
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,051
Okay.

56
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,096
Michael,
this'll be just us.

57
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,563
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

58
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,297
Just so you know,
he's at his funniest

59
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,893
when you've given him,
like, five shots.

60
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:50,994
Okay.

61
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,300
And it also helps if
you've had five shots.

62
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:53,897
I already have.

63
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,741
Why is Packer back?

64
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,906
Is Packer here?

65
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,244
Why is he
talking to Holly?

66
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,544
Don't know, don't care.

67
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:07,418
Michael loves you,
and your sales speak
for themselves. So...

68
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,092
Yes! The Pack is back.

69
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,425
Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like
to introduce you

70
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,895
to a man who
needs no introduction,

71
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,694
probably because
most of you have
done it with him.

72
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,894
Just kidding. He wouldn't
be interested in any of you.

73
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,334
In all seriousness,

74
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:27,306
Todd Packer is
a permanent salesman
at this branch.

75
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,538
And I would like to
invite you now to welcome
him with open arms.

76
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,043
Yes!
What?

77
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,077
It's great to
be among friends.

78
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:38,380
And until then,
you suckers will do.

79
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,784
Nice.

80
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,754
We got burned.
MICHAEL: You did.

81
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,115
You got burned,
because Packer's back.

82
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,559
Packer is turning in
his car for a desk.

83
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:51,792
He is turning in
his condoms for
a condominium,

84
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,460
although he's probably
going to have to use
condoms from here on out.

85
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,093
Holly. You approved this?

86
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,193
Yes, I did.

87
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,796
I think Todd's gonna
make a great addition
to the staff.

88
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,671
You did approve it?
Yeah.

89
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,769
What don't you understand
about the word "approved"?

90
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,905
It seems a couple
of you don't know

91
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,972
what the word
"approved" means.

92
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,684
I have very little
patience for stupidity.

93
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,619
Sorry we're late.
Gabe fell in the shower.

94
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:16,884
Such a klutz.

95
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,858
Yeah, and it took
the fire department
forever to get there.

96
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,452
Oh, my God.
Where did this
come from?

97
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,731
Who did this?

98
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,096
PAM: I got Erin
a new computer

99
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,158
because the one at
reception sucked.

100
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,760
I should know.

101
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,702
And I don't want to say
the other one was old,

102
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,708
but its IP number was one.

103
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:37,970
Right?

104
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,068
Thank you, Pam.

105
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,637
Oh, you're welcome.

106
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:41,738
My pleasure.

107
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,281
Can I do something for you?

108
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,486
I just helped someone out.
It feels good.

109
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,823
Nice.

110
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,327
You know, I cleaned
up our daughter for,

111
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,888
like, an hour at 4:00 a.m.
this morning, so...

112
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,430
So you know the feeling.

113
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,036
Special delivery for
Dwight K. Schrute.

114
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,265
I didn't order anything.

115
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,567
And I don't have
anything for you,

116
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,768
but I do want to talk
to you about something.

117
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,868
We have been
thinking about where
Packer should sit,

118
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,379
and we can't just
sit around waiting
for Creed to die.

119
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,705
Well, there's a lot
of seats in the annex.

120
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,842
So you wouldn't mind
permanently relocating

121
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,977
so that Packer can
take this desk here.

122
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,412
TODD: Thanks, man.
It would mean a lot to me.

123
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,155
I've been sitting here
for 10 years, Michael.

124
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,318
Well, I was there
for 12 years.

125
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,022
Plus, my name's
carved under the desk.

126
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,926
No, it is not.
It is too.

127
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,329
Where? Let me see this.

128
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:33,833
Right there.

129
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,061
Check it out.

130
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,001
DWIGHT: Michael, I don't
want to move desks.

131
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,094
MICHAEL: Don't be
a baby. We're...

132
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,503
Okay, there it is.

133
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,235
"Packer was here
and so was your mom."

134
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,298
Yeah.

135
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,365
Do I have any say in this?

136
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,411
MICHAEL: No!
No!

137
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,946
It's $20 to watch, Halpert.

138
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,445
Hey. Whose
dirt box is this?

139
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,914
That's our Zen garden.

140
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,512
What do you
growing here, bull crap?

141
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,186
Hey, Holly.

142
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,785
Hey. What's up, guys?

143
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,297
Don't "what's up" us.

144
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,801
You think you're
so cute with your
pretty blond hair.

145
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,437
Pull it back.
Why did you hire
Todd Packer?

146
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,097
PAM: He's seriously awful.

147
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,199
Michael's recommendation
was glowing.

148
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,777
And honestly,
he's been nothing
but nice to me.

149
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,678
That's how he gets you
to take off your panties.

150
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:21,908
Why are you nodding?

151
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,450
United front.

152
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,243
Okay, look,
we can't fire someone
because we don't like him.

153
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,787
Right. This isn't the
U.S. government.

154
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,255
What are you referencing?

155
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,292
Everything.
Everything.

156
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:35,693
Do any of you have
any concrete complaints
about something he's done?

157
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,094
Well, I mean,
he humped Michael.

158
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,565
Well, if that's the case,
I guess I've got
to be fired, too.

159
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,602
Hey. Hey, you guys.

160
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,799
The Yarmouth
Regatta video is up.
Gather round. Check it out.

161
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,305
This guy's on
a full beam reach.

162
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,675
They're hiking out
like mad.

163
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,270
Luff him up. Luff him up.

164
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,440
Nice!

165
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,376
This computer's
a hunk of junk.

166
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:02,286
Hey, sailor,
come watch your
regatta over here.

167
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:03,683
Where did you get this?

168
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,419
Pam gave it to me.

169
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,659
This is a sick computer.

170
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,553
Gwen Stefani
has this computer.

171
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:13,898
Pamela.
Yep?

172
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:18,166
What does a guy
have to do to whom
to get one of them?

173
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,934
You have a computer, Andy.

174
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,702
Yeah, but if you
donated my computer
to Africa,

175
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,609
it would become famous
as the slowest computer
in Africa.

176
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,512
Okay, listen,
we just don't have
the budget for it, okay?

177
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,776
Reception needed
a computer, so we got one.

178
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,045
Well, Andy's desk
needs a computer.

179
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:35,349
And, I mean, it's just
kind of a coincidence
that I work there, but...

180
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,584
Yes, but reception
is a one-person department.

181
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,786
If I get you a new computer,
I have to get one
for everyone in sales,

182
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,193
for Dwight, for Stanley.
It would be crazy.

183
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:47,029
So something good
happening to Stanley
is crazy now.

184
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,295
ANDY: They're not
asking for one.

185
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,495
I am. I need it.

186
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:52,164
If you're just
handing them out,
I want one, too.

187
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,167
Phyllis, nobody's
handing anything out.

188
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,969
See? That's what
I'm talking about.

189
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,806
What, are you gonna
play mahjongg faster?

190
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,604
PAM: I'm sorry, Andy.

191
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,549
Hey, what's going on,
you guys?

192
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:07,609
Yeah.

193
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:08,677
Three muske-queers.

194
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,118
Mean, but good.

195
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,284
So, Todd, this must
be nice for you,
getting off the road.

196
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,989
You get to spend some time
with your daughter.

197
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,530
I don't know.

198
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,032
I love her and all,
but she's turned
into a bitch.

199
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,965
Most days she's great,
but some days she
acts like her mom.

200
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,004
Well, some girls
go through a phase.

201
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,472
Yeah. Your life
is so insane.

202
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,466
You should write a book.

203
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,942
Since when did you
learn how to read?

204
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,206
I do know
how to read, though.

205
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,113
Yeah. You know
how to read a menu.

206
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,147
This guy...

207
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:46,523
I... He's right.
I mean, I could
lose some weight.

208
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,727
Kevin, in sumo culture,

209
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,594
you'd be considered
a promising up-and-comer.

210
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,997
What the heck?
Why do you have
Erin's computer?

211
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,133
It's crazy, right?

212
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,736
Erin just
wanted me to have it,
so we switched.

213
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,243
What? Erin,
is that true?

214
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,544
I just thought he seemed
to really need a new computer,

215
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,777
and he knows so
much about that one.

216
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,753
Erin, it's not up to you.
This computer was
for reception, okay?

217
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,346
It's not yours
to give away.

218
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,719
Pam.

219
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,888
When I'm freaking out,
I just sort of step back,

220
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,056
take three deep breaths.
I'm not freaking out. Okay?

221
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,759
And then I ask myself,

222
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,200
"Is this worth
freaking out about?"

223
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,001
Andy, why should she
have your crappy computer?

224
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,539
That's interesting.

225
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,576
So you also think
my computer's crappy.

226
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,373
Switch the computers
back, Andy.

227
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,445
Seriously?
Seriously.

228
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,541
Pam, come on.

229
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,347
PAM: Now, please.
ANDY: Fine!

230
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,355
Please make sure
nobody is humping me.

231
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,118
If you're going
back to the annex,

232
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,386
could you take
these to Dwight?

233
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,257
I think the ants
are waking up.

234
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,524
They need to
start farming soon.

235
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,630
Thanks.

236
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,668
Best day ever.
Best day ever.

237
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,597
So much is happening.

238
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,964
Question.
Should I get stripes shaved
into the side of my head?

239
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,373
No. No.

240
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,501
Please.

241
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,375
Did Todd tell you
to do that?
Yes.

242
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,243
Yeah, I thought so.
You love him, right?

243
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,649
You love him. I can tell.

244
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,548
I love you.
No, no, not me.

245
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,813
Him. What...

246
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,377
He's certainly opinionated.

247
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,615
If you're not gonna
take the ants over,

248
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,521
I should probably
just do it myself.
I'm going.

249
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:29,723
No. Are you jealous of him
because you think
he's funnier than you?

250
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,453
Honey.

251
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,521
I don't think
he's funnier than me.

252
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:33,760
He's funnier than me.

253
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,266
He's not funny at all.

254
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,362
So I'm less funny
than not funny at all?

255
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,839
Hey, oh-oh, I think the ants
are starting to eat
each other.

256
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:45,675
No, what I'm saying is
he's not funny, but
you're funnier than he is.

257
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,478
Okay, Bill Cosby,
Steve Martin,

258
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,445
Charlie Bit My Finger,

259
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,454
Michael Scott,
then all the way down here,

260
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,417
Todd Packer.

261
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,516
That's insane.

262
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,856
Honey, he's a jerk.

263
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,954
For Pete's sake,
it just needs to be done.

264
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,894
So you two are
married now, right?

265
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,165
Yeah.

266
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,264
That's sweet.
How's the sex?

267
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,305
Yeah.
DWIGHT: Hey, Packer,

268
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,970
I made you some
hot chocolate.

269
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,069
Why?

270
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,944
'Cause I want to let
bygones be bygones,

271
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,108
show you I'm cool.

272
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,209
You're the new guy.
It's cold out.
I made too much.

273
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,311
I got this awesome
hot chocolate recipe
from my wife.

274
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,151
That's a lot of reasons.

275
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,383
Drink it.

276
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,549
I think I'll pass.

277
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,756
The only hot
chocolate I'm into
is Vivica A. Fox.

278
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:35,951
Can I talk to
you for a second?

279
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,463
Here.
Okay. Okay. Okay.

280
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,964
So this hot chocolate
thing with Packer...

281
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,398
None of your business.

282
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,867
Well, you know you
can't actually poison him.
Right?

283
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,968
It isn't poison.
It's a laxative.

284
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,404
People take laxatives
all the time.

285
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,806
This is just a lot
more of a laxative.
Let me handle it.

286
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,674
I really think we
should join forces
on this one.

287
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:53,974
Really?
What do we think?

288
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,675
What would drive him crazy?

289
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:57,977
I know.
Here we go.

290
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,817
Pepto-Bismol in
his hot chocolate.

291
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,219
You have got to stop

292
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,722
with the hot chocolate stuff.

293
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:04,814
Okay.

294
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,257
I was thinking
maybe we could
jam his drawers

295
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,027
so they only
come out two inches.

296
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,995
Then, that way,
you can see
everything in them,

297
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,122
but you can't get at it.

298
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:15,396
Does Edgar Allan Poe
know about that one?
So sinister.

299
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,993
That wouldn't
annoy a person at all.

300
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,561
Where do you come
up with this stuff?

301
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,608
Okay. All right,
well, this isn't my best,
but call Froggy 101,

302
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,976
say that we're
the tour manager
for Justin Bieber,

303
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,170
and we're giving
away free tickets.

304
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,805
We give them a number
to call for the tickets,
and it's his number.

305
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,178
Who is Justice Beaver?

306
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,580
He... It's a
crime-fighting beaver.

307
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,952
Why don't you write
up your best 40 ideas

308
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,388
and e-mail them to me.
Can you do that?

309
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,516
Absolutely.
I'll e-mail you 100.

310
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,581
Okay.

311
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:43,460
Yeah. Write up
your list of 100, edit it
down to your top 40,

312
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:44,724
and I'll read it over.

313
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,197
Pam, can I talk
to you in private?

314
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,633
I don't know if there's
really a private place
in this office.

315
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,431
Well, I put a sign-up sheet
in the conference room,

316
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,369
and I signed us
up for three mods.

317
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,897
A mod is five minutes,
and it started two
minutes ago, so...

318
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,602
You did that?
Can we talk about
this in the meeting?

319
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,111
'Cause we're already late.
Okay.

320
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,705
Wow, when did
people sign up for that?

321
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,770
Mind if I close the door?

322
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,043
No.

323
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,109
What you did out there earlier
was totally un-cool.

324
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,780
Well,
what I was supposed to do,
let you walk all over me?

325
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,847
You humiliated me in
front of everybody.

326
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:14,487
Okay, well, I didn't
think about it like that.

327
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,461
It's just...
I can't do anything about it.

328
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,862
I can't replace your computer
unless that one breaks.

329
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,230
Well, I mean,
it's pretty broken already.

330
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,135
Well, if it breaks
all the way,

331
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,330
I can get you a new one.

332
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,169
Pretty sneaky, sis.

333
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:37,280
Hey, cats, we got
a jam session in
mods six, nine and 12.

334
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,587
There are 400 of these.

335
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,351
Yeah, I couldn't cut it down.

336
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,619
They're all good.

337
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,759
So good.
"Number three, eat a frog."
That sounds promising.

338
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,558
"Number four, eat a dog."

339
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,427
I don't know, from
a practical standpoint...

340
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,560
One thirty-five.
Did you like
one thirty-five?

341
00:13:57,103 --> 00:14:00,505
"Eat a brog."
Maybe it's 'cause I
didn't understand it.

342
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:05,245
I just had a couple of notes.
Let me grab a pen and...

343
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,007
Damn it.

344
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,450
Just when we were...
Just when we were
getting going.

345
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,894
Allow all cookies?
Why, soitenly.

346
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,999
Pop-ups? Yes, please.

347
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,830
Bit torrent streaming
from a Somalian music website?

348
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,397
Yeah, why not?

349
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,674
I hope you don't get sick,
Mr. Computer.

350
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,545
Why are you doing
this to me, Andy?

351
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,846
Because I hate
your broke ass.

352
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,947
And a 76ers fan to boot.
I like that.

353
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,648
And you made Hank smile.

354
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,123
That doesn't happen often.
You're very charming.

355
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,362
You know what?
That is something that
you should take upstairs

356
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,659
and use on the people
that really matter.

357
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,529
Why?
I don't know.

358
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,827
Holly mentioned
that there were
some complaints

359
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,065
and that you had
said some things
about Kevin.

360
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,971
Holly said that?
Yeah.

361
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,009
She was laughing hysterically
the whole time.

362
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,045
I guess you said
something weird
about your daughter.

363
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:15,081
She asked me, Michael.
It would have been
rude not to answer.

364
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,014
You've been on
the road a long time.

365
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,109
And you've been
an outdoor cat.

366
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,051
And now you have
to be an indoor cat,

367
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,319
so you can't be peeing
all over the walls.

368
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,081
Michael, can I open
the kimono with you?

369
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,086
I've been on
the road too long.

370
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:32,332
But I want to connect
with my daughter.

371
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,560
And it's not right
to call her a bitch
in front of strangers.

372
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,296
No, it isn't.

373
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,571
You're right. I got to...
I got to watch my behavior.

374
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,765
Yeah, a little bit.

375
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:42,769
Don't give up on me.

376
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,807
I won't.

377
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,673
Okay. Everybody?
I need you to see this,

378
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,912
because maybe
there is somebody here

379
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,750
that you underestimated
who will surprise you.

380
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,155
Todd Packer is
going to apologize.

381
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,123
Kevin, front and center.
Come here.

382
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,458
I got a lot of numbers
here to put together.

383
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:06,021
Kevin, we know
that you are just
trying to save face.

384
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,226
We know that you are
hurt and embarrassed.

385
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,792
That's silly.

386
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,167
I should be
apologizing to Packer,

387
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:16,300
'cause everybody
knows that I can dish it
as good as I can take it.

388
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:20,005
Okay, sweetie, no,
you shouldn't be
apologizing to Packer.

389
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,445
That doesn't
make any sense.

390
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,608
You ready for this?
Are you ready for this?
Mmm-hmm.

391
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,652
Gentlemen,
start your engines.

392
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:29,848
I'm sorry if you were offended
by my comments earlier.

393
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,857
Well, like I said,
I wasn't offended,

394
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,916
but I'll stand here
for the big show.

395
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,360
Kevin, do you
accept the apology?

396
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,557
Don't do it, Kevin.
That's that fake
kind of apology.

397
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,963
Okay, go back to the annex.

398
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,558
This is textbook.
It's so un-cool.

399
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,604
Ryan does this to
me all the time,

400
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,571
like it's some offense
to have feelings.

401
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,698
Don't do it, Kevin.

402
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:48,797
Sometimes you overreact.

403
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,275
OSCAR: Michael, how is
this supposed to work?

404
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,311
Packer's gonna keep
saying terrible things,

405
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,472
and then he's just gonna
make half-ass apologies,

406
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:55,742
and we're back
to square one.

407
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,046
Okay. You want an apology?
Here goes.

408
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,382
Kevin, I am so sorry.

409
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,423
You are skinny,
and you're a genius.

410
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,220
Okay. That...
That was maybe too much.

411
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,994
Packer is a survivor
of divorce, Stanley.

412
00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:13,362
Packer doesn't speak
with his child, Meredith.

413
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:16,925
Packer never lived up
to his parents'
expectations, Andy.

414
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,169
Angela loves pussycats.
Packer loves...

415
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,263
No, don't.

416
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:23,934
I was going to say "dogs!"

417
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,911
Okay, you know what?
This is over.

418
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,573
Apology has been issued,
and we're through with it.

419
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:32,915
Packer's going to be here
until the day he dies,
just like the rest of us.

420
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,352
So, listen, we have to
really scuff this up.

421
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,949
No, no, no, we can say
that the previous owner
was a neat freak

422
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,121
or an elegant old lady,
and she just kept it around

423
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,221
in case her grandkids
came to visit.

424
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,666
But they died,
and they never came.
I'm gonna make myself cry.

425
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,831
Andy, this is the
deal we made.

426
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,532
That's probably good.
That's enough.

427
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,096
We should break
this hinge maybe.

428
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:55,641
Let's not go crazy.

429
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,835
Well, thanks. Will do.

430
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,174
JIM: Absolutely. Now,
when you get down there,

431
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,373
Jo's a little bit forgetful,

432
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,439
so she may have
locked the gate,

433
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,485
but what you're gonna
do is, go ahead, hop it,

434
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,179
and just head
back to the pool.

435
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,482
That sounds weird.

436
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,716
JIM: It is weird.
Look at you. Perceptive.

437
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,760
Now I know why Jo's
kept her eye on you.

438
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,454
And you make sure
to get down there

439
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,121
and check out
the Harry Potter World.

440
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,791
JIM: Whatever you want to
do in your spare time
is up to you.

441
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,630
Harry Potter World
is supposed to be fantastic.

442
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,193
Apparently, as soon
as corporate found out

443
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,136
I wanted to come
in off the road,

444
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,970
Jo offered me a cushy
new job in Tallahassee.

445
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,441
And here's the best part.

446
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:33,069
I'm a huge alligator nerd.

447
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:37,173
I can name you every genus,
every subspecies.

448
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,047
Also, I'm a huge boob nerd.

449
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,586
Check it out
and have a free
Butterbeer on us.

450
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,179
Keep the receipt,
and we'll get you back.

451
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,723
What are you doing?

452
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,814
This is a very
important client.

453
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,154
All right,
so just pack your bags.

454
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,286
And be sure to bring
those swimming trunks.

455
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,557
Bye, now.
Bye.

456
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:54,255
I cannot believe this.
You're sending
Packer to Florida? Why?

457
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,594
Because he's a jerk.
You gave him my desk.

458
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:59,004
Okay. So you're
tricking him into
flying to Florida.

459
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,370
This wasn't my first choice.
Jim had so many better ideas.

460
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,466
You have to tell him.
You have to tell him
what you did.

461
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:06,137
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is not in the plan.

462
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,805
That is actually
anti what we're doing.

463
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:09,882
He is my oldest friend.
I am going to tell him.

464
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,451
Wait. Why don't we
come up with a plan
that we're all happy about?

465
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:13,816
Yeah, that...

466
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,084
Pam, how is this
thing even any better
than my old computer?

467
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,990
Come on, Andy.
I mean, you said
you wanted a computer.

468
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,425
This is the best I could do.

469
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,962
Where'd you even
find this thing?

470
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,463
Like, in the corner
of the warehouse?

471
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,931
Yes, I found it on
a shelf in the corner
of the warehouse.

472
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,936
All right, well, thank you
for my garbage computer.

473
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,770
You're looking at
the new face of corporate.

474
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,372
Gonna put the "ass"
in Tallahassee.

475
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:44,712
Yes, about that...

476
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,719
Man, we got to go out
and celebrate tonight.

477
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,420
Well, I don't know
if that's a good idea.

478
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,553
The old ball and chain?

479
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,387
No. No. Nothing
like that at all.

480
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,017
Listen, I'm gonna
tell you something

481
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,494
that none of these
people have the stones
to tell you.

482
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,996
It's your girlfriend.

483
00:19:58,664 --> 00:19:59,927
She's uptight.

484
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,959
Sorry?

485
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,332
I know this stuff can hurt,

486
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,894
but I wish someone
had said something
to me about my ex-wife.

487
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:08,873
All I'm saying is,
in about a month or so,
have you down to Florida,

488
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:12,241
introduce you to
all the local talent.

489
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,073
Sounds great.

490
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,276
Yeah.
It's gonna be so good.

491
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,875
MICHAEL: That is.
It's gonna be awesome.

492
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,218
I think you're really going
to enjoy it down there.

493
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,292
I'm sorry
about your friend.

494
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,226
No. He's an ass.

495
00:20:31,297 --> 00:20:32,390
You are.

496
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,563
You are.

497
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,599
What are you,
wicked smaht?

498
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,305
No, you are.

499
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,102
Hoo-ah!

500
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,342
Hoo-ah!

501
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,176
Saw Andy's new
computer you found
in the warehouse.

502
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,516
Yep. Lucked out.

503
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,612
Yeah, you really did,

504
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,591
'cause I know every
inch of that warehouse.

505
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:01,794
Yep. Super lucky.

506
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,089
Maybe you could
go back down there

507
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,631
and see if you can find
me some extra sick days.

508
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,698
Yeah.

509
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:18,341
You know what?
I think I saw
one sick day.

510
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:21,812
I think maybe I saw five.

511
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:22,940
Three.

512
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:28,683
I'm full-on corrupt.

513
00:21:29,305 --> 00:21:35,469
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