1 00:00:03,874 --> 00:00:05,687 I got a delivery for you. 2 00:00:05,807 --> 00:00:07,198 Leave it at reception. 3 00:00:07,518 --> 00:00:09,686 I'm supposed to deliver this one in person. 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 5 00:00:42,756 --> 00:00:45,034 Clean up on aisle five. 6 00:00:49,374 --> 00:00:51,521 After three years of writing, one year of shooting, 7 00:00:51,589 --> 00:00:53,723 four years of reshooting, and two years of editing, 8 00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:55,892 I have finally completed my movie, 9 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,528 Threat Level Midnight. 10 00:01:01,599 --> 00:01:11,372 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 11 00:01:19,617 --> 00:01:21,168 - Erin, Erin... - Yes? 12 00:01:21,252 --> 00:01:23,503 - What are you doing? - Guys... 13 00:01:23,588 --> 00:01:25,555 Did you guys know that our own Michael Scott 14 00:01:25,623 --> 00:01:26,756 has made a movie 15 00:01:26,824 --> 00:01:29,025 and that he maybe will let us watch it, 16 00:01:29,093 --> 00:01:31,962 but only if everybody's dying to see it? 17 00:01:32,029 --> 00:01:33,796 That's... Well, don't put words in my mouth. 18 00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:36,299 Threat Level Midnight 19 00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,602 is the great lost film of Michael Scott. 20 00:01:38,669 --> 00:01:40,904 We're all in it, from, like, years and years ago. 21 00:01:40,972 --> 00:01:42,355 It's like a home movie. 22 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,476 Yeah, if Michael Scott did your home movie. 23 00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:48,745 Michael screened a work in progress for us 24 00:01:48,813 --> 00:01:51,548 years ago, and it didn't go well. 25 00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:53,917 We thought it was a comedy. 26 00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:56,169 Everything pointed to it being a comedy. 27 00:01:56,254 --> 00:01:58,004 - Yep. - We'd love to see it. 28 00:01:58,089 --> 00:02:02,425 Sweet. I will go invite Holly. 29 00:02:02,493 --> 00:02:04,661 Okay, everyone, I know we're really excited 30 00:02:04,712 --> 00:02:06,496 to see this movie that everybody's in, 31 00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:08,715 but we have to remember that Michael is sensitive. 32 00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,500 So let's stay positive... 33 00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:14,003 And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy, 34 00:02:14,055 --> 00:02:16,773 and we'll have a pure fun day, okay? 35 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,174 Thanks, mom. 36 00:02:18,226 --> 00:02:20,110 You never told me you made a movie. 37 00:02:20,177 --> 00:02:21,611 Mm-hmm. 38 00:02:21,679 --> 00:02:23,513 It's got action. It's got heart. It's got symbolism. 39 00:02:23,581 --> 00:02:25,782 - It's got you. - It's got a lot of me. 40 00:02:25,849 --> 00:02:27,534 I can't wait. 41 00:02:29,487 --> 00:02:32,055 Ladies and gentlemen, Threat Level Midnight. 42 00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:39,696 ♪ ♪ 43 00:02:39,764 --> 00:02:42,031 Michael Scarn? 44 00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:45,034 Well, that is an interesting story. 45 00:02:48,773 --> 00:02:52,208 He was once the best secret agent in the business. 46 00:02:57,481 --> 00:03:00,400 That was years ago. 47 00:03:02,887 --> 00:03:04,437 Where is he now? 48 00:03:04,522 --> 00:03:07,440 Well, that's also an interesting story. 49 00:03:14,999 --> 00:03:17,500 Master Scarn. 50 00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:19,436 Master Scarn! 51 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:22,088 I play Samuel, Michael Scarn's robot butler. 52 00:03:22,173 --> 00:03:23,940 I wanted Samuel's voice... 53 00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:26,610 To be like this. 54 00:03:26,677 --> 00:03:28,311 But Michael thought that Samuel should be 55 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:30,080 a very advanced android, 56 00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:33,249 almost indistinguishable from a real person. 57 00:03:33,301 --> 00:03:35,485 Dwight does not play a robot. 58 00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:39,956 - I'm up. - It's the president. 59 00:03:40,024 --> 00:03:42,692 - He needs you for a mission. - Tell him I'm retired. 60 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,160 It's Goldenface. 61 00:03:44,228 --> 00:03:47,030 Goldenface... 62 00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:48,531 This makes it personal. 63 00:03:51,602 --> 00:03:54,788 ♪ ♪ 64 00:03:54,872 --> 00:03:57,040 Scarn, you're right on time. 65 00:03:58,609 --> 00:04:00,660 - Hail to the chief. - I gave up a lot of weekends 66 00:04:00,745 --> 00:04:02,679 because I thought it would be good for my daughter 67 00:04:02,747 --> 00:04:04,547 to see a black man as president, 68 00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:06,783 even in a silly home movie. 69 00:04:06,851 --> 00:04:09,452 What a stupid waste of time. 70 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,788 It's your old enemy, Goldenface. 71 00:04:11,856 --> 00:04:13,890 He's after the NHL all-star game. 72 00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:16,358 He's hidden a bomb somewhere in the stadium. 73 00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:18,644 Scarn... 74 00:04:18,728 --> 00:04:20,130 This one is personal for me. 75 00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:23,800 I own the stadium. I can't see it blown up. 76 00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:25,301 It's my retirement plan. 77 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:27,070 We have to search the stadium. 78 00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:29,339 Not so fast... Goldenface has taken 79 00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:31,675 all of the concession-stand workers hostage. 80 00:04:31,742 --> 00:04:35,879 Scarn, will you find these hostages and save the game? 81 00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:39,332 Heads I do it, tails I don't. 82 00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:43,219 Best out of seven. 83 00:04:43,287 --> 00:04:44,587 Heads. 84 00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:48,992 Tails. 85 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,427 ♪ ♪ 86 00:04:50,494 --> 00:04:52,178 Heads. 87 00:04:52,263 --> 00:04:54,230 Tails. 88 00:04:54,298 --> 00:04:57,567 Heads. 89 00:04:57,635 --> 00:05:00,720 Tails. 90 00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:10,113 Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five. 91 00:05:16,235 --> 00:05:18,664 Well, the hostages were scared. 92 00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:22,086 Don't you guys get it? Nobody's coming for us. 93 00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:24,055 Oh, someone's coming, all right. 94 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:27,958 The only man who would care, Michael Scarn. 95 00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:32,730 See, I'm gonna lure him here. Then I'm gonna kill everybody. 96 00:05:32,798 --> 00:05:35,833 Then I'm gonna dig up Scarn's dead wife, 97 00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,935 and I'm gonna hump her real good. 98 00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:41,506 I did not love the dialogue... 99 00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:43,391 Or the character. 100 00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:46,077 I took the role to impress a receptionist 101 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:48,479 who will remain nameless. 102 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,999 Well, the all-star game was three days away. 103 00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:55,870 The only way Scarn was getting in was in a uniform. 104 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,338 Just one problem with that... 105 00:05:57,422 --> 00:06:00,491 Scarn didn't know a hockey stick from a slim Jim. 106 00:06:00,542 --> 00:06:03,044 So he went to meet with the famed trainer, 107 00:06:03,128 --> 00:06:05,379 Cherokee Jack. 108 00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:06,497 Mop the ice. 109 00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,466 I'm not here to learn how to mop, 110 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,201 I'm here to learn how to play hockey. 111 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:11,335 Mop it. 112 00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:15,173 ♪ Oh ♪ 113 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,242 ♪ I get no traction 'cause I'm running on ice ♪ 114 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:21,712 ♪ it's taking me twice as long ♪ 115 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,282 ♪ can't have a reaction 'cause I'm running on ice ♪ 116 00:06:24,349 --> 00:06:26,234 Come on. 117 00:06:26,318 --> 00:06:27,368 Come on. 118 00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:31,355 ♪ ♪ 119 00:06:31,423 --> 00:06:35,626 ♪ You got to run, run, run, oh ♪ 120 00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:38,629 ♪ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 121 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:41,966 ♪ you run, you run, you run, run, run, oh ♪ 122 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:45,536 ♪ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 123 00:06:45,587 --> 00:06:47,889 - Now take this. - ♪ Running on ice ♪ 124 00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:49,807 What am I supposed to do with this? 125 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,075 - ♪ Running on ice ♪ - Mop. 126 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:55,313 ♪ Running, running on ice ♪ 127 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,581 ♪ running on ice ♪ 128 00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,382 Well, Michael Scarn was quickly becoming 129 00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:01,052 one of the hottest hockey players in the country. 130 00:07:01,119 --> 00:07:03,054 Each year the national hockey league 131 00:07:03,121 --> 00:07:06,490 accepts one civilian amateur to play in the all-star game. 132 00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:08,459 It's down to the three of you. 133 00:07:08,527 --> 00:07:12,830 The final test is speed skating. 134 00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,582 On your marks... 135 00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,400 Get set... 136 00:07:16,468 --> 00:07:18,135 Die. 137 00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:22,773 ♪ ♪ 138 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,890 Nice try, Goldenface, 139 00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:42,093 except you forgot one thing... to kill me. 140 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,095 Oh, I wasn't trying to kill you. 141 00:07:44,162 --> 00:07:46,364 I was trying to slow you down. 142 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,368 No! 143 00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:53,104 - Oh, by the way... - Yeah? 144 00:07:53,171 --> 00:07:54,705 How's your wife doing? 145 00:07:56,842 --> 00:07:59,510 Congratulations. 146 00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:02,446 Hey, you came in second... Not bad either, champ. 147 00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:03,981 I'm so sorry I have to do this. 148 00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:07,985 Shh! Shh, shh! 149 00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:22,500 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 150 00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,402 I'm intercepting a name... 151 00:08:24,469 --> 00:08:25,836 Jasmine Windsong. 152 00:08:25,904 --> 00:08:28,572 She works for Goldenface. 153 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,143 But what I can't figure out is, who is the Funky Cat? 154 00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:33,644 Not who, what. 155 00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:36,246 The Funky Cat is the hippest jazz club in town. 156 00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:41,818 Oh! Oh, n... 157 00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:46,357 ♪ ♪ 158 00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:48,659 He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned? 159 00:08:48,727 --> 00:08:51,395 Then what was the point of spilling the drink on me? 160 00:08:51,463 --> 00:08:54,065 ♪ They call me ♪ 161 00:08:54,132 --> 00:08:58,569 ♪ Jasmine Windsong ♪ 162 00:08:58,637 --> 00:09:00,688 Bingo. 163 00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:03,207 He finished his movie? No kidding. 164 00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:05,393 Wow. That's great. 165 00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:07,178 Yeah, good for him. 166 00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:11,348 ♪ ♪ 167 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:23,577 ♪ The hostages are under the stadium ♪ 168 00:09:23,662 --> 00:09:26,297 Ooh, ugh! 169 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,034 Ugh. 170 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:31,602 Check, please. 171 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,037 You have to let us go, Goldenface. 172 00:09:34,089 --> 00:09:37,908 - We have families. - Ha, this is gonna show them... 173 00:09:37,976 --> 00:09:40,211 That I mean business. 174 00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:44,415 See ya. 175 00:09:51,656 --> 00:09:53,991 Far and away the most expensive shot of the movie, 176 00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:57,928 but it was "intregral" to the story. 177 00:09:57,996 --> 00:09:59,930 Ha! 178 00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,266 It's Scarn! 179 00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:04,135 Sorry about your friend, Scarn. 180 00:10:04,202 --> 00:10:06,170 The joke's on you, Goldenface. 181 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,372 That man was a wanted animal rapist. 182 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,008 We've searched the whole building, Goldenface. 183 00:10:11,076 --> 00:10:12,643 - Where is the bomb? - Hmm? 184 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:15,012 We've searched the whole building, Goldenface. 185 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,447 - Where is the bomb? - Hmm? 186 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,315 We've searched the... Okay. 187 00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:20,951 He said, "Where is the bomb?" 188 00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:22,987 In the puck. 189 00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:25,055 But why are you telling me this? 190 00:10:25,123 --> 00:10:28,025 Because I'm going to kill you, unless... 191 00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,894 You forgive me for murdering your wife. 192 00:10:32,964 --> 00:10:34,564 ♪ ♪ 193 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,505 - Hey, Goldenface. - Yeah? 194 00:10:41,573 --> 00:10:43,974 Go puck yourself. 195 00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,145 No! 196 00:10:48,213 --> 00:10:50,181 That was not scripted. 197 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:57,621 More Tylenol. 198 00:10:57,672 --> 00:10:59,089 You've already had four. 199 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:00,708 Oh, God! 200 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,659 So good. 201 00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,528 You're lucky to be alive. 202 00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:05,963 It'll take a lot more than a bullet 203 00:11:06,031 --> 00:11:08,532 to the brain, lungs, heart, back, and balls 204 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,534 to kill Michael Scarn. 205 00:11:10,602 --> 00:11:12,970 Let's just make sure that everything's... 206 00:11:13,038 --> 00:11:15,606 working properly. 207 00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:29,453 You just said the bomb is in the puck? 208 00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:30,688 Yes. 209 00:11:30,755 --> 00:11:32,857 Is that where you hid the bomb, Goldenface? 210 00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:38,062 But why would you blow up the stadium? 211 00:11:38,129 --> 00:11:39,864 You own the stadium. 212 00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:43,100 For the insurance money... I knew it all along. 213 00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:45,135 You will never get away with this. 214 00:11:58,049 --> 00:12:00,768 Where had I gone wrong? 215 00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:04,755 All I wanted was to start a family with my beautiful wife. 216 00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:08,425 But somewhere along the way, things got messed up. 217 00:12:08,493 --> 00:12:10,561 It wasn't easy for Scarn to admit 218 00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:12,663 that he'd lost his self-confidence. 219 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,164 And he hadn't, of course. 220 00:12:14,232 --> 00:12:17,101 He just wasn't using it right now. 221 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:18,469 Mike! 222 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:19,870 Beer me, Billy. 223 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:22,122 You don't look so good. What's got you down? 224 00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:24,742 I got problems, Billy, big problems. 225 00:12:24,809 --> 00:12:27,378 You got problems? My TV don't work. 226 00:12:27,445 --> 00:12:30,881 I pay 30 bucks a month for the damn satellite "Whatsahoozit." 227 00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:32,816 I can't even get the damn game. 228 00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:35,352 Now, you tell me, what's worse than that? 229 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,354 Don't ever change, Billy. 230 00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:42,259 Goldenface is going to blow up the NHL all-star game tomorrow. 231 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,329 I see what you mean about problems. 232 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:47,398 I know what'll cheer you up. 233 00:12:47,449 --> 00:12:49,316 That table of bachelorettes over there 234 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:50,534 bought you this drink. 235 00:12:54,155 --> 00:12:55,472 Hey. 236 00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:59,493 Ever banged an entire bachelorette party, baby? 237 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,079 Why are you singling my line out, 238 00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:03,814 like, a million years later? 239 00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:06,684 I'm too depressed to save the big game, Billy. 240 00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:10,120 I'm gonna cheer you up the only ways I know hows. 241 00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:12,323 Hey, kid... 242 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,625 Hit G-9 on the jukebox. 243 00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:18,462 No, Billy, I haven't done that dance since my wife died. 244 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,814 There's a whole crowd of people out there 245 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:24,401 who need to learn how to do the Scarn. 246 00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:31,575 ♪ ♪ 247 00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,310 ♪ Well, my name's Michael Scarn ♪ 248 00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:34,645 ♪ and I'm here to say ♪ 249 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,147 ♪ I'm about to do the Scarn in a major way ♪ 250 00:13:37,198 --> 00:13:40,818 ♪ ♪ 251 00:13:40,885 --> 00:13:43,153 ♪ you jump to the right, and you shake a hand ♪ 252 00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,322 ♪ then you jump to the left, and you shake that hand ♪ 253 00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:47,491 ♪ you meet new friends, you tie some yarn ♪ 254 00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:49,593 ♪ and that's how you do the Scarn ♪ 255 00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:51,679 ♪ You jump to the right, and you shake a hand ♪ 256 00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:53,997 ♪ then you jump to the left, and you shake that hand ♪ 257 00:13:54,049 --> 00:13:56,266 ♪ meet new friends, tie that yarn ♪ 258 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:58,268 ♪ that's how you do the Scarn ♪ 259 00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:00,537 ♪ you jump to the right and... ♪ 260 00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,506 - Shh. Stop. - ♪ And you shake that hand ♪ 261 00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,841 ♪ meet new friends, tie that yarn ♪ 262 00:14:04,893 --> 00:14:07,061 - ♪ that's how you do the Scarn ♪ - Boom! 263 00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:10,047 If doing the Scarn is gay, 264 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:13,067 then I'm the biggest queer on earth! 265 00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:15,536 You guys, I think I have... 266 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,855 - I'm really sorry. - My self-confidence back. 267 00:14:19,257 --> 00:14:20,858 - Hey, hey. - Michael! 268 00:14:20,925 --> 00:14:24,128 Michael, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. 269 00:14:24,195 --> 00:14:25,963 I think I was just relieved 270 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,464 to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back. 271 00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:29,366 Yeah, Michael, the movie's amazing. 272 00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:30,834 It's, like, one of the best movies 273 00:14:30,902 --> 00:14:31,969 I've ever seen in my life. 274 00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:33,704 You should enter it in festivals. 275 00:14:33,755 --> 00:14:35,639 - Or carnivals. - Yeah. 276 00:14:35,707 --> 00:14:37,841 Well, that's a pretty good reaction. 277 00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:40,411 That's pretty cool, right? 278 00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:42,813 Did you like it? Did you like that? 279 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:46,316 Which part? 280 00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:47,818 Okay. 281 00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:49,720 - All right. - Oh, come on. 282 00:14:49,771 --> 00:14:51,321 - No. - Michael. 283 00:14:51,389 --> 00:14:54,658 - No, come on! - We have to see the end. 284 00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:56,827 No, it's not good enough. It's not good enough. 285 00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:59,096 Some people are really popping on-screen. 286 00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:04,812 - Hey. - Hey. 287 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,215 - Good movie. - Mm, good? 288 00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,767 Everybody out there says it's great. 289 00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:12,153 - I loved it. - Did you? 290 00:15:12,221 --> 00:15:14,055 - What did you love about it? - Um... 291 00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:18,293 I loved that you got to work together with all your friends. 292 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,744 - Mm-hmm. - Isn't that so great 293 00:15:19,828 --> 00:15:21,596 when you can all work together like that? 294 00:15:21,664 --> 00:15:24,132 No, no. Holly, this isn't Oean's Eleven, 295 00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:25,600 where you get together with all your friends, 296 00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:26,935 and you just have fun, and you don't care 297 00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:28,269 about how it turns out. 298 00:15:28,337 --> 00:15:30,171 What'd you really think, honestly? 299 00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:31,606 Um... 300 00:15:31,674 --> 00:15:34,275 Is it... is it because you're afraid 301 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:35,843 of where this is gonna take me? 302 00:15:35,911 --> 00:15:38,947 Because, see, I need you to keep me grounded. 303 00:15:39,014 --> 00:15:41,766 I'm not worried about that. 304 00:15:43,585 --> 00:15:46,020 This is 11 years, okay? 305 00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:48,389 This has been my dream for 11 years... 306 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,892 And if you don't think it's great, 307 00:15:50,943 --> 00:15:53,611 then you're basically saying you don't believe in my dream. 308 00:15:53,696 --> 00:15:56,130 It's your dream? You never even mentioned it before. 309 00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:58,566 We talk about a lot of things, Holly. 310 00:15:58,634 --> 00:16:01,069 You know, I was eventually going to get around 311 00:16:01,136 --> 00:16:03,404 to my dream, obviously. 312 00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:05,373 11 years that I could've been working 313 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,574 on the Scarn Nebulus. 314 00:16:06,642 --> 00:16:09,310 Well, why do you have to make a movie at all? 315 00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:10,912 Because if I don't have this, what do I have? 316 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,914 - I have nothing. - Really? 317 00:16:12,965 --> 00:16:15,817 You can't think of anything else that you might have? 318 00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:18,252 I have my book on business, somehow I manage. 319 00:16:18,304 --> 00:16:22,323 I have my HBO Comedy Special, here I go again, dot, dot, dot. 320 00:16:22,391 --> 00:16:24,509 But you know what? When I think about it, 321 00:16:24,593 --> 00:16:27,762 when I really think about it, none of those things 322 00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,964 are as real to me as my movie. 323 00:16:30,015 --> 00:16:32,133 I'm real. 324 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:35,069 Yeah, you're a real pain in the ass. 325 00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:36,671 And now I'm gonna go watch the movie 326 00:16:36,739 --> 00:16:38,106 with people who think it's great. 327 00:16:38,157 --> 00:16:40,708 And I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass. 328 00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:42,877 I'm angry, and I love you. 329 00:16:45,781 --> 00:16:47,615 I love you too. 330 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:50,418 I'm a huge Woody Allen fan... 331 00:16:50,486 --> 00:16:52,387 Although I've only seen Antz. 332 00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:55,390 But I'll tell you something... What I respect about that man 333 00:16:55,457 --> 00:16:57,558 is that when he was going through all of that stuff 334 00:16:57,626 --> 00:16:59,494 that came out in the press... 335 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:02,263 About how Antz was just a rip-off of A Bug's Life, 336 00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:05,665 he stayed true to his films... 337 00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:08,536 Or at least the film that I saw, which, again, was Antz. 338 00:17:08,604 --> 00:17:10,570 Thing is... 339 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,573 I thought Bug's Life was better, 340 00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:14,709 much better than Antz. 341 00:17:14,777 --> 00:17:18,246 Point is, don't listen to your critics. 342 00:17:18,313 --> 00:17:20,982 Listen to your fans. 343 00:17:22,984 --> 00:17:24,652 Who likes Threat Level Midnight? 344 00:17:26,405 --> 00:17:28,388 Okay, well, then who wants to watch the rest? 345 00:17:32,077 --> 00:17:34,962 Michael, you have to get to that puck before halftime, 346 00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:36,831 or the whole stadium will explode. 347 00:17:36,882 --> 00:17:39,000 I know. It's a good thing my trainer and mentor 348 00:17:39,051 --> 00:17:41,386 - is here to cheer me on. - Cherokee Jack? 349 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:44,939 Michael, he died. 350 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:51,846 ♪ ♪ 351 00:17:51,914 --> 00:17:54,182 This one's for you, Cherokee Jack. 352 00:18:05,994 --> 00:18:07,394 We filmed this during an actual 353 00:18:07,446 --> 00:18:08,896 Scranton High School hockey game. 354 00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:10,782 They were trying to qualify for States. 355 00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:12,900 Shh. It's fine. It's great. 356 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,036 No, no, actually it was really screwed up, 357 00:18:15,104 --> 00:18:18,573 because they... they were trying to qualify. 358 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,741 They were disqualified. They had to forfeit the game. 359 00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:22,810 Undefeated season... 360 00:18:22,878 --> 00:18:24,796 That's why there were so many people there. 361 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,417 - Why is your face gold? - Why do you care? 362 00:18:30,469 --> 00:18:32,320 I'm just making conversation. 363 00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:34,088 I worked in a gold factory. 364 00:18:34,139 --> 00:18:36,824 We had a boss who only cared about money. 365 00:18:36,892 --> 00:18:39,444 He wouldn't give us lunch breaks, so we had to... 366 00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:41,028 - Hey. - Hey, I'm sorry. 367 00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:43,931 - It is good. - No, no, it's not. 368 00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:46,067 It's not. 369 00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:48,035 But they really seem to be enjoying it. 370 00:18:48,103 --> 00:18:49,287 Come on. 371 00:18:49,371 --> 00:18:51,239 Please, Goldenface, let us go! 372 00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:00,982 Cherokee Jack. 373 00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:03,584 I want you to take all your frustrations... 374 00:19:03,652 --> 00:19:06,821 with women, the system, with everything... 375 00:19:06,889 --> 00:19:08,339 take it out on the puck, 376 00:19:08,423 --> 00:19:10,424 all on the puck. 377 00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:19,199 ♪ ♪ 378 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,741 - Yah! - Aah! 379 00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:27,942 - Oh! - Yay! 380 00:19:27,993 --> 00:19:30,695 - Yay, they're saved! - Whoo! 381 00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:32,379 ♪ ♪ 382 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,703 Hey, we got sports games again. 383 00:19:45,294 --> 00:19:46,561 Oh, sh... 384 00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:59,941 Some breakfast for me, some breakfast for you. 385 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,312 Aw. 386 00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:07,582 Oh, yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot. 387 00:20:07,649 --> 00:20:09,483 I'll get it. 388 00:20:09,535 --> 00:20:11,552 Man, I love being retired. 389 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,887 Scarn here. 390 00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:15,156 - Michael, it's the president. - Hello, sir. 391 00:20:15,224 --> 00:20:16,591 I need you for another mission. 392 00:20:16,658 --> 00:20:18,960 Uh... 393 00:20:19,027 --> 00:20:20,528 Yeah, I'm in. 394 00:20:23,248 --> 00:20:25,733 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Isn't the president evil? 395 00:20:25,801 --> 00:20:27,969 Oh, yeah. 396 00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:29,837 Yes, he is. 397 00:20:29,905 --> 00:20:31,706 No, no, he's doing it to catch the president. 398 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:34,108 No, no, Dwight, he's just being stupid. 399 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:38,896 Well, Michael Scarn was back in the game. 400 00:20:38,981 --> 00:20:41,082 And I bet you're wondering 401 00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:44,885 why do I know so much about Michael Scarn? 402 00:20:44,937 --> 00:20:47,989 Well, because I am Michael Scarn. 403 00:20:48,056 --> 00:20:51,425 Oh! 404 00:20:51,493 --> 00:20:54,245 That was so good. 405 00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:04,526 Aw, yeah! 406 00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:14,926 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 407 00:21:15,305 --> 00:21:21,661 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org