1 00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,794 I really didn't think I was gonna have a good time, but I did. 2 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:07,715 I totally did. I love camping. Anything can happen. 3 00:00:07,798 --> 00:00:11,093 Oh, it wasn't camping. It was more of a wilderness retreat. 4 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,386 Morning. Michael. 5 00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:15,431 Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods 6 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,977 for a get-to-know-you weekend. Michael wasn't invited. 7 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:25,233 Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him. 8 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,484 Did you sleep in cabins? 9 00:00:26,567 --> 00:00:29,695 Under the stars. It was really beautiful. 10 00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:33,324 You should come. Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once. 11 00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:39,747 Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. 12 00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:41,916 Toby went, but Michael didn't go. 13 00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,168 He wasn't invited. 14 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:48,089 Who went? Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, 15 00:00:48,172 --> 00:00:51,968 Jack from Albany, and Ryan, obviously. We ate so many s'mores 16 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:56,430 I finally had to say, "No more s'mores. No more s'mores." 17 00:01:00,768 --> 00:01:04,522 Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. 18 00:01:04,605 --> 00:01:07,275 It was this amazing, beautiful... 19 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,778 Hey. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. 20 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:14,740 I need that room at some point, so just wrap it up. 21 00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:17,660 Michael wasn't invited. 22 00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:42,810 Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping. 23 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,147 And... Do you know what "hypothetical" means? 24 00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:47,315 Not real. Got it. 25 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:50,818 So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, 26 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,237 would you go? Absolutely. Yes. 27 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,949 When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. 28 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,701 Really? Yeah. 29 00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:00,161 Oh, do you want to go today? 30 00:02:00,244 --> 00:02:02,163 And I am always busy. 31 00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:05,499 Oh, I can't go today because I'm donating blood. 32 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,794 How often can you actually donate blood? 33 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,212 Is there a limit? I don't... 34 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,340 Your body only has a certain amount. 35 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,383 Well. Is that it? Or... 36 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,011 Yeah. Just this whole Toby camping thing. 37 00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:20,306 I don't know, seems a little lame. I mean... How so? 38 00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:23,434 A bunch of guys in a tent making s'mores. 39 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:29,023 What's that? Oh, I'm on Broken Mountain. 40 00:02:29,106 --> 00:02:31,275 Here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. 41 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,071 I think you go camping by yourself in the wilderness. 42 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:40,201 It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy 43 00:02:40,284 --> 00:02:42,620 or two guys, If your plans change. They're not going to change. 44 00:02:42,703 --> 00:02:45,956 I want to do it myself. You know, I want to go 45 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,125 and find out something about myself. 46 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:54,799 I want to get out of here. All the cliques and the office politics, fluorescent lights. 47 00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,425 And the asbestos. 48 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,760 I thought we had that looked at. 49 00:02:57,843 --> 00:03:00,262 I'm sick of it, Jim. I'm sick of this place. 50 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:05,559 When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called Survivorman. 51 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:10,940 And it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out 52 00:03:11,023 --> 00:03:15,027 into the middle of nowhere and just try not to die, 53 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,196 try not to get eaten by an animal, 54 00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:20,282 or be overexposed. 55 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:24,704 Okay, I will only need two things, a roll of duct tape and a knife. 56 00:03:25,287 --> 00:03:27,540 I'm on it. Okay. Thirty minutes or less. 57 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,125 Please come back. 58 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:32,545 Save the receipts. Hey, what... 59 00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:36,507 Let's see if any of these will work. Hey. Hey. Dwight. Dwight... 60 00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:40,094 I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. 61 00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:44,223 I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had Velcroed under my desk. 62 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:50,604 People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace.” 63 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:55,693 Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, 64 00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:58,237 than by a stranger on purpose. 65 00:04:00,364 --> 00:04:04,869 Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. 66 00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:08,622 I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow 67 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,791 and perhaps the next day. 68 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,251 Do you want me to ask where you're going? 69 00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,461 No. 70 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,129 Great. Dwight will be driving me 71 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,298 deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness. Oh. 72 00:04:17,381 --> 00:04:19,383 Where he will then leave me 73 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:23,971 to either die or to survive. The choice is yours. 74 00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:28,058 No. The choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this? 75 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:32,855 Yes. And I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day, 76 00:04:32,938 --> 00:04:35,775 and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me. 77 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:39,445 Okay. Great. This is a very personal, private experience 78 00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:43,365 in the wild that I wish to share with me, myself and I. 79 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,700 Yep. 80 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,329 When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being. 81 00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:49,413 That'd be great. 82 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,333 Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills 83 00:04:52,416 --> 00:04:55,085 to survive in a hostile environment? 84 00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:59,632 Let's put it this way. No, I do not. 85 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,677 This is what a true Survivorman does. 86 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:07,515 You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. 87 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,767 You can only wear the clothes that you have on, 88 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:12,478 and you can only use the stuff that you have in your pockets. 89 00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:17,107 Now In this case, this disaster is a serial killer, 90 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:21,987 creepy guy who's abducted me, and is taking me out into the wilderness 91 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,240 to leave me for dead. No. I would never leave you for dead. 92 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:27,201 You would never escape. Well, yes, I would. And I would survive. 93 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:28,953 I would make sure that you were dead. No. 94 00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:31,288 Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips 95 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,790 SO you could not be identified. You... 96 00:05:32,873 --> 00:05:34,208 And they would call me the Overkill Killer. 97 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:39,380 You are as creepy as a real serial killer, for real. Okay... 98 00:05:39,463 --> 00:05:43,092 What are you doing? I am putting this on so I have no familiarity 99 00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:44,844 with my surroundings. 100 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,513 Now this way I can't retrace my steps. 101 00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:51,308 I don't know what streets we... Ow! What are you doing? 102 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,227 It would be better if you were unconscious. No. 103 00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:55,855 Here... God. Dwight, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 104 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,731 Do you want to do this right or not? 105 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:02,194 Just please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life, 106 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,533 Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday. 107 00:06:07,616 --> 00:06:09,076 Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday? 108 00:06:09,159 --> 00:06:11,912 Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember? 109 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,540 I do remember, yeah. It's birthday month. 110 00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:19,545 Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next, Meredith's is at the end of the month. 111 00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:21,255 Michael usually goes with red and white streamers... 112 00:06:21,338 --> 00:06:25,301 You know what? I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big, shared party? 113 00:06:25,926 --> 00:06:26,927 What? 114 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:31,599 There are 13 people working in this office, so 13 times a year, 115 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,351 Michael gets a cake and balloons 116 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:38,188 and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. 117 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:42,151 And there are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are... 118 00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:46,238 Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug. 119 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:51,869 And the other is something inappropriate or horrible or both. 120 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:55,706 What else? He only sings the high harmony to Happy Birthday. 121 00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:01,211 And he is a very big believer in surprise parties. 122 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,923 Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault. 123 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,382 Happy birthday! 124 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,009 Happy birthday! 125 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:10,596 Happy birthday! 126 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:15,726 So I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive. 127 00:07:15,809 --> 00:07:16,936 Yeah. 128 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:20,940 We can just have one big, fun party. And everybody's happy 129 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,191 and nobody wastes their time. 130 00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:24,193 I don't like it. 131 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,742 Wow. You're shaking things up a bit, huh? 132 00:07:31,825 --> 00:07:33,494 It's a pretty good idea, don't you think? 133 00:07:33,577 --> 00:07:37,831 Do you think it's a good idea? No. I think it's a great idea. 134 00:07:39,249 --> 00:07:40,250 Hmm. 135 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,796 We're here. 136 00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:51,512 Dwight will take my blindfold off when we are deep in the forest. 137 00:07:51,595 --> 00:07:53,472 Just the two of us from this point out. 138 00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:56,016 Here we go. Just the two of us. 139 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,523 Here we go into the wild, to the mighty forest. 140 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,735 Can you smell the trees and the nature? 141 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,655 Keep going. You're fine. 142 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,408 Just some bushes and some thickets. 143 00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:16,161 Keep going. 144 00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:20,207 You wanted wilderness. You got it. 145 00:08:20,624 --> 00:08:22,126 You know, try sending them another invoice. 146 00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:23,544 Okay. All right. 147 00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:26,422 Oh, did you see my memo, by the way? 148 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,051 "Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are, 149 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,012 "we all can use a break from the constant cakes. 150 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,056 "So let's celebrate birthday month in style today." 151 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:39,351 This is really cool. 152 00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,354 Right? I was just thinking... 153 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,440 No. Totally. Totally. 154 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:48,110 This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun. 155 00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:51,113 Right. Exactly. 156 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:53,615 I knew I could count on you. 157 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,162 As good a spot as any. 158 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,335 What are you doing? Stop it. 159 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,296 Dwight, just stop it. I'm just... 160 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:10,716 Spin. I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction. 161 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,307 Behold. 162 00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:19,975 All right, good. Thank you, Dwight. 163 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,977 Here's your knife. Thank you. 164 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,729 And here's your duct tape. Good. 165 00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:25,981 All right. Very good. 166 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,692 Okay. Yeah. 167 00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:31,570 Good luck, Michael. Thanks for the ride. 168 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,449 Okay. 169 00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,494 Leave me be, Dwight. 170 00:09:40,829 --> 00:09:43,707 Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake? What's that? 171 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,375 I really prefer Devil's Food Cake. 172 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,585 Oh, sure. 173 00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:47,836 Yes. Okay. 174 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,004 Awesome. 175 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:50,422 Wow. That was easy. 176 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,341 Yeah. People like me, I guess. 177 00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:53,550 Jim. 178 00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:56,386 I hate Devil's Food. Well, I think Meredith was... 179 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,097 Screw Meredith. I don't think it's fair 180 00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,140 to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday. 181 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:02,434 Everybody's birthday. Today is actually my birthday 182 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,478 and I want to pick the cake. What do you want? 183 00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:06,396 I want pie. I want peach pie. You want birthday pie? 184 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,523 I want a nice cobbler. 185 00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:09,900 I'll talk to Angela and we're going to see what we can do about a pie. 186 00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:11,693 I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen. 187 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,862 It'll be Angela. You tell her it's for Creed. 188 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,364 She'll know what that means. 189 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:26,500 Day one. I'm in the interior of the vast Pennsylvania wilderness. 190 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,379 I have brought with me only the bare essentials, 191 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:33,715 a knife, a roll of duct tape 192 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:38,178 in case I need to fashion a shelter or make some sort of water vessel. 193 00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:44,726 It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, 194 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:50,149 which would make it about 2:00 in the afternoon. 195 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,526 Really beating down on me Now. 196 00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:57,281 I think that I want to get a little more comfortable 197 00:10:57,781 --> 00:11:02,411 because the sun is depleting my resources. 198 00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:05,664 Okay. There we go. 199 00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:10,210 Watch that I don't hit my carotid artery here. 200 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,840 I lied to Michael. I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not. 201 00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:18,594 I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support. 202 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,429 But I will never help him. 203 00:11:20,762 --> 00:11:25,475 I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. 204 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,228 But I will never let him lose his dignity. 205 00:11:28,645 --> 00:11:31,064 There we go. Much better. 206 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:36,069 Now everything I brought with me can be used. 207 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:38,488 My sport coat here 208 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:43,202 can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts. 209 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:49,208 I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs. 210 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,838 See, this is a beautiful piece of material. 211 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:59,843 This can be used for all sorts of things, some sort of kerchief 212 00:12:01,428 --> 00:12:04,389 to keep my neck nice and comfortable. 213 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,144 Jimbo. Andy. 214 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:13,273 Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgie the Whale. 215 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:16,485 Not your birthday. Well, I'm just saying, you know, 216 00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:18,612 if you want to make people happy, namely me, 217 00:12:18,695 --> 00:12:20,447 you will have a Fudgie the Whale. 218 00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,700 All right. I'll look into it, but the answer's no. 219 00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:26,453 Well, okay. Harsh. 220 00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,413 Just don't expect me to show up. 221 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,875 Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make. Loud and clear. 222 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,335 All right. 223 00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:39,132 Pizza rolls. Okay, I'm going to go into this office here 224 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,801 to do some work so I will be in here. 225 00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:41,969 Mushroom caps. 226 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:46,807 I am totally alone right now with only my thoughts. 227 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,476 I love it. I'm loving it. 228 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:55,482 I can literally say anything I want. No one is going to hear me. 229 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,778 Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat. 230 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,823 Jan has plastic boobs. 231 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:07,744 I have hemorrhoids. 232 00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,541 Doesn't even matter. 233 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:15,544 Michael's a man of great depth and passion. 234 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:20,132 I don't know what he's searching for out here. 235 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,305 But I hope he finds it. 236 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:30,684 Lunch. 237 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:35,230 Well. It is a little chillier than I had thought. 238 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,941 So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants. 239 00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:42,404 Several hours in, it's time for me to find some nourishment. 240 00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:46,616 Now these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. 241 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,995 Things like squirrels, 242 00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:53,248 a nice, juicy rabbit would be delicious. 243 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,127 About two more minutes. 244 00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:04,843 I have made this spear with which I will impale my dinner. 245 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,638 And that couldn't come a moment too soon, 246 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:12,225 because I have been without food for a good 247 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,561 three hours or so. 248 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:18,023 Starting to feel it a little bit. 249 00:14:22,944 --> 00:14:24,780 It's Creed's birthday today. 250 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:29,493 Happy birthday to you 251 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,498 Happy birthday to you 252 00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:40,128 Happy birthday, dear Creed 253 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:47,469 Happy birthday to you 254 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,389 Happy birthday, buddy. 255 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:55,394 What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday. So what if there's a lot of them? 256 00:14:55,477 --> 00:15:01,316 Yeah. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. 257 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,111 Most days I just sit and wait for the break. 258 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:07,906 I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. 259 00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:10,492 If I don't have some cake soon, I might die. 260 00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:11,701 Why don't you just have an apple? 261 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,203 Why don't you mind your business? 262 00:15:13,286 --> 00:15:14,538 Listen, I figured this out. 263 00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:18,500 Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago so he doesn't care. 264 00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,419 I think the power went to his head. - Yeah. 265 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,045 Hey, Jim. Hey, guys. 266 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:25,799 What are we talking about? Nothing. Nothing going on. 267 00:15:25,882 --> 00:15:29,302 We're talking about nothing. Come on, gang. 268 00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:37,769 Well, if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. 269 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:42,691 I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter. 270 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:46,278 And this little guy may be Dunder Mifflin paper some day. 271 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,703 Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. 272 00:15:54,786 --> 00:15:58,248 Safety is on. 273 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,295 Hey, Jim. 274 00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:04,463 Toby. 275 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,299 Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays. 276 00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:09,384 Great idea. 277 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,679 Oh, thanks, man. Yeah. 278 00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:18,143 Is there anything I can... 279 00:16:18,226 --> 00:16:19,978 My birthday was two months ago. 280 00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:21,062 Oh, okay. 281 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,772 There was no party. 282 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:27,110 What? Well, there was but Michael scheduled it for 283 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:30,655 4:58 on a Friday. People sang in the parking lot. 284 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,740 I remember that. 285 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:33,158 I don't know, I just thought maybe you 286 00:16:33,241 --> 00:16:35,744 could include me. Seriously? 287 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:38,955 I just thought you could add me in. I don't know what the harm in that is. 288 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:43,543 Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. 289 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:48,632 "I don't see the harm in that." Well, it's a cake, Toby, so come on. 290 00:16:48,715 --> 00:16:50,800 Okay, yeah, you know what, we're just going to throw you in 291 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,010 because the more, the merrier, right? 292 00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:55,805 No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. 293 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:59,809 You can't just change plans willy-nilly and expect these little magic party elves 294 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:02,062 to do your bidding. We already have Devil's Food, 295 00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:05,273 peach cobbler, Fudgie the Whale, mushroom caps... 296 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,733 I'm allergic to mushrooms. 297 00:17:06,816 --> 00:17:08,985 That's a bummer. Okay. 298 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,488 Then we need to... 299 00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:14,449 Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing? Could I have your attention, please? 300 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,660 "Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing. 301 00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:18,954 Conference room? Yes. Conference room. Five minutes. 302 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:23,124 No. No. We're going to solve it right here. 303 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,085 We're going to actually talk about it out here. 304 00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:28,505 So who has problems with the birthday thing? 305 00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:32,467 One, two, three, everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it. 306 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,011 What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie? 307 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,806 I'll take them. Well, nobody's touching my cobbler. 308 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:39,891 Hey, Michael. I mean Jim. 309 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,104 Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. 310 00:17:45,438 --> 00:17:48,316 And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. 311 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:53,154 Under this tree, I think I struck the mother lode. 312 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:58,451 Those are nature's best mushrooms. 313 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:03,540 Wild, and I have to say, these little buggers are damn tasty as well. 314 00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:06,042 Stop. No. No, Michael. 315 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,671 No. No. No. 316 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,593 Get them out. 317 00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:22,475 Happy birthday to you 318 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,771 Happy birthday to you 319 00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:32,277 Happy birthday, dear Creed 320 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:37,824 Happy birthday to you 321 00:18:37,907 --> 00:18:40,285 Yeah. All right. 322 00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:44,122 Skip around the room. Skip around the room. We won't... 323 00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:47,709 Okay, all right, yikes. Don't do that. You're going to break something. 324 00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:53,423 Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth 325 00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:55,925 and clothing and television, 326 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:59,137 and hamburgers, and to walk upright, 327 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:02,682 and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. 328 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,393 He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. 329 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:09,773 I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. 330 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,109 I don't need fresh air 331 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:16,571 because I have the freshest air around, AC. 332 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,492 And I don't need wide open spaces. 333 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:23,328 Check it out. 334 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,583 I can also make it the sky. 335 00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:33,880 Hi, buddy. 336 00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:35,048 What's up? 337 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,717 I'm sure glad you're back. 338 00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:39,344 You are relieved. 339 00:19:39,427 --> 00:19:40,845 You have no idea. 340 00:19:41,971 --> 00:19:43,682 So what did I miss? 341 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,101 Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. 342 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,894 So, terrible idea. Oh. 343 00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:52,023 Yeah. Okay, I did that. Rookie mistake. 344 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:55,694 You did do it? Yeah. Just wait. 345 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,071 Ten years, you'll figure it out. 346 00:19:58,154 --> 00:20:01,116 Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years, but... 347 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,743 That's what I said. 348 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,916 That's what she said. 349 00:20:13,294 --> 00:20:14,713 That's what who said? 350 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,423 I never know. 351 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:21,344 But I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, 352 00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:25,432 to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard. 353 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,392 That's what she said. 354 00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:30,061 Hey. Nice. 355 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,439 Really good. 356 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:37,819 Bravo, my young ward.