1 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,880 Okay, where does it hurt? 2 00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:08,006 Just... All over. 3 00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:11,468 I don't want to do anything. I'm dying. 4 00:00:11,552 --> 00:00:12,553 No, that's not how it works. 5 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,847 You have to point to a specific part of the body. 6 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,057 Right there. 7 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:18,893 Abdomen. 8 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,020 Menses. Maybe. 9 00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:23,230 "The uterus contracts after your egg passes through it." 10 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,815 Not it, I don't have eggs. 11 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,525 So when did this start? 12 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,444 About 10 minutes ago. I don't... 13 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,363 When I came in with the paperwork? 14 00:00:30,446 --> 00:00:31,864 About 40 times a year, 15 00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,367 Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. 16 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,203 Dwight is always gravely concerned. 17 00:00:38,287 --> 00:00:41,164 Is it possible you ate food that contained animal waste? 18 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:42,958 It's possible. 19 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:44,251 Michael? 20 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,128 David Wallace is on line one. 21 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,296 CFO? 22 00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:51,299 All right, everybody out. Out, out, out. 23 00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,718 Okay. 24 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,387 To what do I owe this great honor, David Wallace? 25 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:58,056 Michael, I am calling to see... And Gromit. 26 00:01:00,142 --> 00:01:03,019 Jan? Is Jan there? 27 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:06,523 Jan is out of town right now. Oh. You sigh like Jan. 28 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:12,071 I broke Jan's heart, David. And I feel awful. It was... 29 00:01:12,863 --> 00:01:16,867 It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? 30 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,870 Sometimes... Michael? 31 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,581 ...you just gots to get your freak on. Michael? 32 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,333 Yeah? Michael? 33 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:27,502 I am calling to see if you would come down 34 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:31,173 and interview for a job we have opening up in corporate. 35 00:01:31,882 --> 00:01:33,675 Really? A week from today. 36 00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:35,010 Bring your first quarter stats 37 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:38,138 and your recommendation for who'd take over the Scranton branch. 38 00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:39,431 Wow. 39 00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,893 I wish I had prepared something to say. 40 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:47,356 That's not necessary. May God guide you in your quest. 41 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,234 Yes. 42 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,353 Okay. Everybody have their towels and swimsuits? 43 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:30,315 We've got an hour and a half. I suggest that you all go potty now, 44 00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:33,485 and then we will be congregating on the party bus. 45 00:02:33,569 --> 00:02:35,445 Oh, I'm excited. Today is Beach Day. 46 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:37,822 Michael is taking the whole office to the beach. 47 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,951 So I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath my shirt. 48 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,495 Oh, yeah. I packed it in my purse. 49 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,749 Oscar, you brought your Speedo, I assume? 50 00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:48,208 I don't wear a Speedo, Michael. 51 00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:51,003 Well, you can't swim in leather pants. 52 00:02:52,963 --> 00:02:54,798 I'm just yanking your chain. 53 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:56,383 Not literally. 54 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,969 Anybody need sun block? I've got SPF 30. 55 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:02,765 Oh. You know what? You're not going. 56 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,684 It's Beach Day. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 57 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,144 Toby, we... 58 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,313 Somebody has to stay here. 59 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:13,897 I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share 60 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:17,571 after I have passed on to New York. 61 00:03:18,614 --> 00:03:22,659 And if Toby's a part of it, then it'll suck. 62 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,413 Hey. You want my sunscreen? 63 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,165 Oh, great. 64 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:31,335 I forgot mine and I'm wearing a two-piece. 65 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,545 Thanks, Toby. 66 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:40,260 Hey, Pam. I have a very important job for you today. 67 00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:42,137 I thought we were just having fun at the beach. 68 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:46,183 We are. We are. But I would like you to take notes. 69 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:49,019 And I want you to find out about people's character. 70 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:52,064 You know, not their hotness, per se, 71 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:55,359 but their humor and their charisma, 72 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:59,943 and the indefinable quality that makes you all glad to follow me. 73 00:04:00,364 --> 00:04:03,200 What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? 74 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,453 I will answer your question with a question. 75 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:11,037 It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. 76 00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,668 It dies. 77 00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:17,130 Unless you find a new head. 78 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:22,340 I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head. 79 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,099 You want me to write down people's indefinable qualities? 80 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:30,227 I want you to write down everything that people are doing all day 81 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:33,856 and then type it up in a way that is helpful. All right? 82 00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:36,692 I have the most boring job in the office. 83 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:40,780 So why wouldn't I have the most boring job on Beach Day? 84 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,658 This way to the party bus. 85 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,869 I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. 86 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,456 That's all I've ever wanted. 87 00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:53,166 And the night got deathly quiet 88 00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:56,503 And his face lost all expression 89 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,715 Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy 90 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,927 "You gotta learn to play it right 91 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:06,555 "You got to know when to hold 'em 92 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,475 "Know when to fold 'em"” 93 00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:10,559 Yeah. 94 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,730 "Know when to walk away Know when to run 95 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:18,483 "You never count your money 96 00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:21,861 "When you're sitting at the table 97 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:26,408 "There'll be time enough for counting 98 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,870 "When the dealing's done” 99 00:05:30,037 --> 00:05:33,665 Everybody, may I have your attention, please? 100 00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:38,666 Today, we are not just spending a day at the beach. 101 00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:40,672 Oh, sweet mother of God. 102 00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,924 If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus. 103 00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:47,429 Excuse me? Or the front of the bus or drive the bus. 104 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,681 Just... 105 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:54,265 We are all participating in mandatory fun activities. 106 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,147 Funtivities. 107 00:05:57,231 --> 00:06:00,359 And there is a special secret prize for the winner. 108 00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:01,609 Yes! Funtivities! 109 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,153 I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach. 110 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,698 Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm's turning people off. 111 00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:09,201 I hope there will be management parables. Well... 112 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,414 Hey, Pam. Did you get that down? Like what? 113 00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:16,333 Like everything I said and everything they did, and just... 114 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,752 I don't know exactly... Don't... Write it down before you forget it. 115 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,339 That's... You've just been drawing pictures. 116 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,551 I can't stay mad at you. 117 00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:28,720 Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. 118 00:06:28,804 --> 00:06:32,557 Everybody ready? Last one down is a rotten egg. 119 00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:34,851 Watch out for snakes. 120 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,522 Everybody, put on sunscreen. 121 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:42,526 All right. Find a cozy spot. Everybody, settle in. 122 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:51,535 Okay, everybody up. Circle around. 123 00:06:52,494 --> 00:06:54,329 Let us play some games. 124 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:59,627 We are situated on the northeast corner of scenic Lake Scranton, 125 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:03,922 America's eighth-largest indigenous body of water. 126 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:09,507 It is here that a group of Americans will undergo the ultimate challenge. 127 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:14,641 One day, fourteen strangers who work together, 128 00:07:14,975 --> 00:07:16,977 but only one survivor. What? 129 00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:21,689 Just words. Inspiring words. Not a contender. 130 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,402 For the competitions, you will be divided into four tribes. 131 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,196 Each tribe will have a leader 132 00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:30,865 that I will pick randomly off the top of my head without thinking. 133 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,910 Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley. 134 00:07:33,994 --> 00:07:35,662 Choose your tribes. Yes! 135 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,706 Except for Pam, not Pam. 136 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,626 Jim Halpert. Karen. 137 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:45,209 Pros: Smart, cool, good-looking. 138 00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,841 Remind you of anybody you know? 139 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,762 Cons: Not a hard worker. 140 00:07:51,845 --> 00:07:54,055 I can spend all day on a project, 141 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:56,975 and he will finish the same project in half an hour. 142 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,602 So that should tell you something. 143 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,312 I choose Michael! 144 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,898 I'm not playing. 145 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,775 Okay. Temp. 146 00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:08,153 Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. 147 00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:12,573 He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. 148 00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:16,244 He is, however, an idiot. 149 00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,455 We are going to choose team names. Dwight. 150 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,750 We will be called Gryffindor. Really? Not Slytherin? 151 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,043 Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim. 152 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:26,505 I know. Okay, we will be Voldemort. 153 00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:30,008 He Who Must Not Be Named? I wouldn't do that. 154 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,511 Voldemort. Voldemort. Okay, seriously... 155 00:08:32,594 --> 00:08:35,013 Voldemort. Voldemort. ...you really shouldn't be saying... 156 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,390 Voldemort. Voldemort. Idiots. Idiots. 157 00:08:37,474 --> 00:08:39,893 Okay, okay. Stanley, your team name? 158 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,728 I don't care what you call my team. 159 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,105 Then I will name your team the Red Team. 160 00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:45,857 No, the Blue Team. 161 00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:50,691 I am also considering Stanley because of all the good 162 00:08:51,071 --> 00:08:54,074 that black people have done for America. 163 00:08:54,908 --> 00:08:56,659 We will be Team USA. 164 00:08:56,744 --> 00:09:00,080 Very good. Pam, please, take a note that Andy is patriotic. 165 00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:05,209 Andy Bernard. Pros: He's classy, he gets me. 166 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:08,839 He went to Cornell. I trust him. 167 00:09:09,673 --> 00:09:12,676 Cons: I don't really trust him. 168 00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:17,180 It is time for the great spoon and egg race. This one is with a little twist. 169 00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:20,934 There's already a twist, you're carrying an egg on a spoon. 170 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,562 The person carrying the egg will be blindfolded. 171 00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:25,021 Please, put on your blindfolds. 172 00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:28,024 That person carrying the egg will go down, circle a torch, 173 00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:30,944 come back, deposit their egg in the pail. 174 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,820 First team back is the winner. All right, ready, set, go! 175 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,660 Come on, Phyllis, you can do it. 176 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,704 Thank you so much. 177 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,290 Phyllis is out. Yes! Follow my voice. Follow my voice. 178 00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:46,542 Yeah, keep it moving, keep it moving right this way. 179 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,503 Looking good. KELLY: I don't want to hit the big rock. 180 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:49,629 Don't worry, you're not... 181 00:09:49,713 --> 00:09:52,215 I know I'm near the big rock, I just know it. Nowhere near the big rock. 182 00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:53,341 Andy, I don't wanna get hurt by the big rock. 183 00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:55,093 What are you doing? No! 184 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,764 See, now we're disqualified. 185 00:09:58,972 --> 00:10:03,472 I am okay if I lose every single contest today. 186 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,062 Honestly. 187 00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:09,440 Because I see these contests 188 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:13,487 as an opportunity for me to demonstrate what a good sport I am. 189 00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:14,821 Mallard. 190 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,367 Stop, stop, stop. There's a hole. - Move it! 191 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:19,451 - Just step over the hole. - Move your ass! 192 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,538 Come on, lazy-bones! Move it! Come on! Yup. 193 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:24,873 Perfect. Just made it. Okay, turn left. Come on! 194 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,375 Come on! Andale, Andale! Arriba! 195 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,668 You have to stop this right now or I'm not gonna do this anymore. 196 00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,170 What are you saying? You have to stop yelling at me 197 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,338 or I'm not gonna do the egg race. 198 00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:32,463 Okay, I apologize for yelling at you. 199 00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,549 That's what being a good captain is about. 200 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:34,633 I'm trying to bring team spirit! 201 00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:35,925 It's about listening to your team. 202 00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:37,677 Whoa, stop. Another hole. Take a big step. 203 00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,137 I am not hysterical. I am explaining... 204 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,263 Yes! 205 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,641 Oh, my God. You ass. 206 00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:47,395 There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, 207 00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:51,979 filled with sun, surf and diligent note-taking. 208 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,028 Pam, you're missing things! 209 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:11,795 Let's go! Let's go! Come on! Mush! Mush! 210 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,964 Come on, you bastard! What the... 211 00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:16,716 Damn it, temp! 212 00:11:18,343 --> 00:11:21,054 Great job, everyone, that was fantastic. 213 00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:27,643 Okay, Pam, I have another little project for you. 214 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,188 Does it have to do with these shopping bags filled with hot dogs? 215 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,273 Smart as a whip! Yes. 216 00:11:31,356 --> 00:11:34,650 These are pre-cooked, so it's not absolutely necessary, 217 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:37,446 but I would appreciate it if you could heat up 800 hot dogs 218 00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:41,241 for a little contest I'm going to be having. I would greatly appreciate it. 219 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,161 When's the contest? Like, 10 minutes? 220 00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:46,788 How am I supposed to get... Thanks a bunch. 221 00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:53,207 A good manager has got to be hungry. Hungry for success. 222 00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:55,213 Okay, who's hungry? 223 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,757 No, no, no, do not touch the food. Please, not yet. 224 00:11:58,091 --> 00:12:00,885 That is our next event. A hot dog-eating contest. 225 00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:02,220 Oh, God. 226 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:03,471 For those of you who are curious, 227 00:12:03,555 --> 00:12:07,976 the world record is 54 and one half hot dogs. 228 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,228 Wow. And you know what? 229 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,439 I personally have cooked up enough 230 00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:14,607 so that each and every one of you could break that record. 231 00:12:14,691 --> 00:12:17,360 So shoot for the stars, okay? All right! 232 00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:21,573 The team that eats the most hot dogs in 10 minutes will be declared the winner! 233 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,617 On your mark, get set... 234 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:27,537 Can I have a turkey burger? No. I have the only one. I claimed it. 235 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,372 Ready? OSCAR: Turkey is a healthy meat. 236 00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:30,707 Yeah, it's very good for you. 237 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,918 I don't eat meat, Michael. I'm not gonna eat this. 238 00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:34,293 It has L-tryptophan. Guys, guys. 239 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,629 - Come on... - What's L-tryptophan? 240 00:12:35,712 --> 00:12:37,130 Please! Let's just... 241 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:41,343 Okay, it's very important that you all try to eat as many hot dogs as you can. 242 00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:45,179 On your mark, get set, eat! 243 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:49,851 Is there any mustard? No mustard! No mustard! Just eat it! 244 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:54,314 Eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water so it'll slide down your gullet more easily. 245 00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:57,108 Come on, the winner gets a big, big prize. What is it? 246 00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:59,944 I can't say. You can't say? Or you can't pronounce it? 247 00:13:00,028 --> 00:13:03,906 The winner gets regional manager salary for a year and a Sebring 248 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:06,118 and the feeling that they're making a difference in the world. 249 00:13:06,201 --> 00:13:07,410 Can we just take those first two things? 250 00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:10,747 The winner of today gets my job. 251 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,710 Okay? I'm interviewing for a job at corporate. 252 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,505 And they're only interviewing a handful of people, 253 00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:22,466 and I'm the most qualified, and I'll probably get it, all right? 254 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,304 You're leaving? I didn't wanna tell anybody. 255 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:28,306 I didn't wanna cast a pall over our fun Beach Day. 256 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,891 But you know what? I don't know who to recommend, 257 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,268 because, frankly, nobody's stepping up. 258 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,271 I am so hungry. 259 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:35,981 Do you expect me to believe 260 00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:39,358 that you're truly making your recommendations on this basis? 261 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,028 Word. 262 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,031 Here we go. Let's see it. 263 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,660 I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head 264 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:53,244 than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on. 265 00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:57,877 Come on. Come on. Four seconds. Three, two, one... 266 00:13:57,961 --> 00:13:59,963 Stop your eating! 267 00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:03,258 And the winner is Andy Bernard... - Team USA! 268 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,010 ...with 14 hot dogs! 269 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,678 One came up. 270 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,680 Thirteen hot dogs, everybody. 271 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,182 Damn it! 272 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,434 Nobody told me we were gonna have hot dogs. 273 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,023 Sabotage. 274 00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:22,610 What? What are you saying? Did you say sandwich? 275 00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:27,194 No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying sabotage. 276 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,162 The ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team. 277 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:37,334 I knew you were saying sabotage. I was giving you an example of it. 278 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:42,338 I will misunderstand everything that Andy says until he goes insane. 279 00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:45,633 If Michael organizes some kind of group hug, 280 00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:46,968 stand next to me. 281 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,514 It's very simple. There are only three rules. 282 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:55,556 You must not touch the ground. You must not step outside of the ring. 283 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,189 And you must always wear the safety mittens. 284 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,107 We don't have any safety mittens. 285 00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:04,110 Probably left them in the trunk of my car. It's all right. Here we go. 286 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,570 Get him, big boy! 287 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,573 And go! 288 00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:11,867 Come on, Jim! Come on! What are you doing? 289 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,703 Come on! Stop. 290 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,582 Nice, Stanley! 291 00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:19,500 Sorry about that. 292 00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:21,419 It's all about taking points away from Dwight. 293 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:23,713 Yeah. No. Good. Okay. 294 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,590 Oh, my God. 295 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:29,594 I have never seen that look in a man's eyes, ever. 296 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:34,557 I thought that I might die. On Beach Day. 297 00:15:39,187 --> 00:15:41,272 Come on! Come on! Come on! 298 00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:43,274 If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, 299 00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:44,567 I will transfer to Albany. 300 00:15:44,651 --> 00:15:45,818 Gil can come if he wants. 301 00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:48,863 I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship, anyway. 302 00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:53,822 I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see. 303 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,830 One, two, three! 304 00:15:57,914 --> 00:15:59,749 Yeah! Yeah! 305 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,167 Excellent! 306 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,503 - Gryffindor! - Gryffindor! 307 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:04,629 Come on! 308 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,589 I didn't win. 309 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,968 But the only reason I didn't win is because I recently learned 310 00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:12,303 that it's better to work things out with words. 311 00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:14,305 That's not why you lost. 312 00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,557 Yeah, it is. I totally could have kicked your butt. 313 00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:19,060 Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. 314 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,856 Yeah, right! Come on, come on! God! 315 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,985 How do you like that? 316 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:46,087 Help. Help! Angela! Angela, hey. 317 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,423 Oh, thank God. Go tell somebody. 318 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,842 What, Andy? Andy, what should I tell them? 319 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,429 Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously. 320 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,848 I don't understand what you want from me. 321 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,391 Angela, it's pretty simple. 322 00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:01,936 Look at what I'm doing and go tell somebody it! 323 00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:03,563 Sorry! 324 00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:06,691 Bye, Andy! 325 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:07,984 Angela! 326 00:17:08,151 --> 00:17:10,820 I knew that finding a successor would be difficult. 327 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,740 I did not know that it would be impossible. 328 00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:17,493 Thus far the candidates have been wildly disappointing. 329 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,373 Jim is not taking it seriously. Stanley is having a stroke. 330 00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:24,292 And Andy, where is he? Where the hell is Andy? 331 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,129 Where is he, Pam? Do you know? 332 00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:32,091 Who's ahead in points? I think they're even. 333 00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:35,344 At various times you gave Jim 10 points, 334 00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:38,681 Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs-up. 335 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,683 And I don't really know how to compare those units. 336 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,686 Well, check to see if there is a conversion chart in that notebook. 337 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,522 I really doubt it, Michael. Please, just check. 338 00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:49,567 Great. Yeah, I'll see you next week. 339 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,987 Thank you. And here is Karen Filippelli. Bye. 340 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:57,616 Hello? Yeah, hi, David. 341 00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,579 Yes, I would like to be considered for the corporate position in well. 342 00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,373 "In well"? As well. 343 00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,833 How would that work, in well? 344 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,711 I just want to know. Yes. 345 00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:09,253 Wait a minute. 346 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:12,173 That would be fine. If this job is in a well, I don't want it. 347 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,508 I don't. 348 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:17,512 What does a great manager need most of all? 349 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,765 Courage. How so? 350 00:18:22,058 --> 00:18:24,310 I mean, sure thing. That sounds smart. 351 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,355 I can't do this anymore. I'm going to sit in the bus. 352 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,941 Your loss, Stanley. 353 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:33,194 Meanwhile, the rest of us will have a super-fun time 354 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,823 defeating our fear and creating a lasting memory 355 00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:41,327 walking through fire! 356 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,669 Who among you has the guts to replace me? 357 00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,714 Let him walk across these coals. 358 00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,845 Are you gonna try it? 359 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,390 I'm not gonna walk in the fire after your disgusting feet have gone through. 360 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,809 Angela, it is a million degrees. 361 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:08,229 I'm gonna do it. 362 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,232 And I fully expect to burn my feet and go to the hospital. 363 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,612 That's the right spirit when doing a coal walk, right? 364 00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:18,906 No, no. Not you, Pam. You have to keep score. 365 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,533 I'd like to try it. Pointless. 366 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,118 But I'm not kidding, I really wanna do it. 367 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,412 Okay? This is about guts. 368 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,999 It takes guts to be a regional manager. 369 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,375 Jim, you're up. 370 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,629 Nope. Why not? Come on. 371 00:19:32,712 --> 00:19:35,715 Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned. 372 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,887 You do not have what it takes to be a regional manager. 373 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,221 That's harsh. 374 00:19:42,305 --> 00:19:46,805 Who's next? Andy, where is Andy? Andy is never here today. 375 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,440 Hello? Who's there? 376 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,235 My name is Andrew Bernard, I was with a group called Dunder Mifflin. 377 00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:00,907 Hello? 378 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,534 Why don't you go, Michael? 379 00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:07,788 Because I already did. Remember? I burned my foot 380 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,832 on the George Foreman Grill. 381 00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:12,418 That is not the same at all. 382 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:15,129 If you're gonna ask other people to do it, you should do it yourself. 383 00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,381 All right, okay. All right. Fine. 384 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,511 Okay. 385 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:25,682 Okay. 386 00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:31,646 Go. 387 00:20:35,608 --> 00:20:40,108 The mind has to wrap around the foot. 388 00:20:58,214 --> 00:20:59,215 Okay. 389 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,348 You want us to count to three? 390 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,933 Yes, count to three, please. 391 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,602 - Three, two, one! - Three, two, one! 392 00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:12,812 Count the other way. Go. 393 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,230 No, no. Count one, two, three. 394 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,024 Okay, okay. Not three, two, one. 395 00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:18,984 - One, two, three. - One, two, three. 396 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,695 - Go! Do it! - Go, Michael. 397 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,114 Wait. Am I going on "go" or am I going on "three"? 398 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,283 On "three". DWIGHT: On the "go" that's after "three". 399 00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:26,367 Okay. 400 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:30,204 - One, two, three, go! - One, two, three, go! 401 00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:41,757 No! It's okay. I will do this, Michael. 402 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,844 Don't, Dwight... I will walk and stand on these coals 403 00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:49,140 until you award me the position of regional manager! 404 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,060 Wow. Yes. 405 00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:56,355 - Dwight. - Dwight. Dwight. 406 00:21:56,439 --> 00:21:57,898 Keep moving if you're gonna walk there. 407 00:21:57,982 --> 00:21:59,108 Keep moving! 408 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,068 Keep coming. Give me the job! 409 00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:02,695 That's enough! Give me the job! 410 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,781 I'm not going to give it to you! 411 00:22:04,989 --> 00:22:06,907 Don't kneel on the coals! 412 00:22:06,991 --> 00:22:08,200 Oh, my God! 413 00:22:08,284 --> 00:22:10,035 Michael, do something! 414 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,204 God, that stinks! 415 00:22:12,872 --> 00:22:14,206 Dwight, stop it! 416 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:16,417 Being a boss is also about image. 417 00:22:17,752 --> 00:22:22,006 I've never looked like that. That was gross. 418 00:22:23,049 --> 00:22:27,549 I just... I don't see the connection between a fire walk and management. 419 00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:30,056 Worst $75 I ever spent. 420 00:22:30,139 --> 00:22:34,434 You know what? If I had to pick my replacement based on today, 421 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,188 it would be Mr. Outside Hire. 422 00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,065 Or Mrs. Outside Hire. 423 00:22:39,190 --> 00:22:41,775 Yeah. True. 424 00:22:42,485 --> 00:22:43,694 Look, I don't... 425 00:22:44,487 --> 00:22:48,282 I don't wanna leave this branch that I love to an outside hire. 426 00:22:48,449 --> 00:22:52,949 Therefore, we're going to have a 100-point, winner-take-all, 427 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,291 sudden death, Tribal Council round 428 00:22:57,375 --> 00:23:00,252 to test the aspect of my job 429 00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:04,836 that I think is the most important, something I call the Bob Hope factor. 430 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:06,968 Who's Bob Hope? 431 00:23:07,051 --> 00:23:10,012 God. He's... He's a comedian. 432 00:23:10,096 --> 00:23:12,890 Oh, like Amanda Bynes. Who's Amanda Bynes? 433 00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:16,435 She's from What a Girl Wants. Oh, I love that movie. 434 00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:17,978 Yes. Kelly is right. 435 00:23:18,062 --> 00:23:22,562 The person to replace me has to have a great sense of humor. 436 00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,444 And they have to possess 437 00:23:25,528 --> 00:23:28,739 the leadership qualities of a Bynes or a Hope. 438 00:23:34,078 --> 00:23:38,540 So, without further ado, Jim and Dwight. 439 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,670 Show us what you've got. 440 00:23:43,796 --> 00:23:48,296 Hey. I know what you're looking for, but I gotta be honest, 441 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,305 I really don't think I should be considered as your replacement. 442 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,348 You are being too modest. 443 00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:57,601 Michael, on Thursday, I'm gonna drive down and interview with David 444 00:23:57,685 --> 00:23:59,311 for the open position in New York. 445 00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:04,900 Okay, that is not funny. 446 00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:10,197 I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort 447 00:24:10,573 --> 00:24:12,032 for false pretenses. 448 00:24:12,116 --> 00:24:14,701 Okay, Dwight, your turn. Wow us. 449 00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,496 The Aristocrats. 450 00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:22,001 A man and his wife and children go into the offices of a talent agency. 451 00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:31,385 And the talent agent says, "Describe your act." 452 00:24:31,594 --> 00:24:36,094 And the man says something really, really raunchy. 453 00:24:36,849 --> 00:24:40,769 And the talent representative says, "What do you call yourselves?" 454 00:24:40,853 --> 00:24:43,313 And the man says, "The Aristocrats." 455 00:24:53,616 --> 00:24:55,868 I mean, truly repulsive acts. 456 00:24:55,952 --> 00:24:58,371 That is a very, very funny story. 457 00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:01,248 Hey. I wanna say something. 458 00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:06,045 I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just need to say a few things. 459 00:25:06,129 --> 00:25:08,965 I did the coal walk. Just... I did it. 460 00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:14,220 Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. 461 00:25:15,722 --> 00:25:18,141 Wow, I feel really good right now. 462 00:25:19,642 --> 00:25:22,144 Why didn't any of you come to my art show? 463 00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:25,857 I invited all of you. That really sucked. 464 00:25:27,316 --> 00:25:31,069 It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. 465 00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,243 Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. 466 00:25:37,326 --> 00:25:39,578 And now. we're not even friends. 467 00:25:40,913 --> 00:25:44,666 And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. 468 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,502 And I miss you. 469 00:25:47,336 --> 00:25:50,213 You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. 470 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,758 And I really miss you. 471 00:25:53,968 --> 00:25:55,177 I shouldn't have been with Roy. 472 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,807 And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. 473 00:26:00,349 --> 00:26:02,601 But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons 474 00:26:02,685 --> 00:26:03,686 until I met you. 475 00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:07,106 And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. 476 00:26:07,523 --> 00:26:10,275 It's... Whatever. That's not what I'm... 477 00:26:10,526 --> 00:26:12,861 I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt. 478 00:26:12,945 --> 00:26:15,781 The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, 479 00:26:16,115 --> 00:26:17,950 and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, 480 00:26:19,577 --> 00:26:21,078 is that I miss having fun with you. 481 00:26:22,997 --> 00:26:25,582 Just you, not everyone in the circle. 482 00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:32,173 Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now. 483 00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:36,218 Yeah. It's a good day. 484 00:26:39,055 --> 00:26:41,766 Pam! That was amazing! 485 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,811 But I am still looking for someone with a sales background. 486 00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:52,318 Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones 487 00:26:52,401 --> 00:26:55,654 They're a modern stone age family 488 00:26:56,239 --> 00:26:58,991 From the town of Bedrock 489 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,786 They're a page right out of history 490 00:27:02,995 --> 00:27:06,248 Let's ride with the family down the street 491 00:27:06,332 --> 00:27:09,501 Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet 492 00:27:09,669 --> 00:27:12,213 When you're with the Flintstones 493 00:27:12,296 --> 00:27:14,673 You'll have a yabba dabba doo time 494 00:27:14,757 --> 00:27:16,341 A dabba doo time 495 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:18,886 You'll have a gay, old time! 496 00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:21,806 Wilma! 497 00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:23,265 Nice.