1
00:00:03,794 --> 00:00:05,046
There you go.

2
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,345
Nice dress, Ryan.

3
00:00:12,428 --> 00:00:14,430
It's not a dress,
it's a kurta.

4
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,598
Okay.

5
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:19,393
Tonight, one of our most
ethnic co-workers, Kelly,

6
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:23,606
has invited us all to a Diwali
celebration put on by her community.

7
00:00:24,398 --> 00:00:26,234
What is Diwali, you may ask?

8
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,820
Well, to have Kelly
explain it,

9
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:35,701
"It's... I have...
It's so super fun and it's gonna be great."

10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,621
A lot of gods with
unpronounceable names.

11
00:00:38,704 --> 00:00:42,667
Twenty minutes later you find out
that it's essentially a Hindu Halloween.

12
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,335
You look so handsome.

13
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,878
You really do.

14
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,922
I love the material.
I know.

15
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:49,465
How come
you didn't get me one?

16
00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:26,586
Okay. So, between
Meredith's minivan

17
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:30,214
and if I borrow Bob's Yukon
that should fit about 12 people.

18
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:33,175
I actually might not go.
I'm feeling kind of tired.

19
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,053
Do you want to make Appletinis and
watch Sex and the City at my place?

20
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,806
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't decided yet.

21
00:01:40,182 --> 00:01:42,351
I don't get why you won't go.
Did I do something wrong?

22
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,186
I mean, I thought
we were really close friends.

23
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,563
I just feel
kind of tired, you know?

24
00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:46,897
Maybe you've got mono.

25
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,274
Maybe.

26
00:01:48,357 --> 00:01:51,193
I just... I don't really
have anyone to go with.

27
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,196
Well, go with Dwight.
He's single too, right?

28
00:01:54,363 --> 00:01:56,991
Yeah, totally single.
Hundred percent available.

29
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,203
Are you guys going to this
Indian thing tonight?

30
00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:04,206
I don't know.
Who's... Who's going?

31
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:08,502
Oh, you mean like,
"Is Pam going?"

32
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,296
Don't go.
They eat monkey brains.

33
00:02:10,379 --> 00:02:12,173
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop that.

34
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:15,843
That is offensive. Indians
do not eat monkey brains.

35
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,680
And if they do, sign me up

36
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,017
because I am sure that they
are very tasty and nutritional.

37
00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:31,108
It's important that this
company celebrates its diversity.

38
00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:34,195
And you know what, Stanley,

39
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,614
come Kwanza time,
I have got you covered, baby.

40
00:02:36,697 --> 00:02:38,949
I don't
celebrate Kwanza.

41
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,952
Really?
You should. It's fun.

42
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,872
I love the people here.

43
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:50,169
And if there was one thing
I don't really care for,

44
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,090
is that they can be
terribly, terribly ignorant

45
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,716
about other cultures.

46
00:02:55,966 --> 00:03:00,680
And I don't want them embarrassing
me in front of my girlfriend, Carole.

47
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:05,476
Diwali is a very important
holiday for the Hindus.

48
00:03:05,559 --> 00:03:07,603
But frankly,
I'm a little appalled

49
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:11,065
that none of you know very
much about Indian culture.

50
00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:15,403
So, without further ado,
Kelly, you are on!

51
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:22,827
Diwali is awesome and there's
food and there's gonna be dancing,

52
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,870
and I got the raddest outfit.

53
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,664
Kelly?
It has sparkles...

54
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:32,169
Why don't you tell us a little bit
about the origins of the holiday?

55
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,047
Oh, I don't know.
It's really old, I think.

56
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,007
How many gods do you have?

57
00:03:37,174 --> 00:03:39,552
Like hundreds, I think,
maybe more. I don't know.

58
00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,679
And that blue, busty gal,
what's her story?

59
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,681
She looks like Pam
from the neck down.

60
00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:45,433
Pam wishes.

61
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,602
Kelly, I'll take this one.

62
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:52,356
Diwali is a celebration of the
coronation of the God-king Rama

63
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,193
after his epic battle with
Ravana, the demon-king of Lanka.

64
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,319
It symbolizes the battle...
All right...

65
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,487
...between good and evil...
...all right.

66
00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,822
This isn't Lord of the Rings.

67
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,699
Here we are.

68
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:05,286
I'm sorry.

69
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,497
I started biking to work.

70
00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:11,834
Josh does it and he lives
a lot farther away than I do.

71
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:16,672
And also it saves gas money, keeps
me in shape, helps the environment

72
00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:21,677
and now I know it makes me
really sweaty for work.

73
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:25,806
Nice basket.

74
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,141
Thank you.

75
00:04:29,643 --> 00:04:32,980
Now a lot of people say that
Kelly is one in a million

76
00:04:33,063 --> 00:04:36,567
and that's true, but it's also
not true, because frankly,

77
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:40,821
there are literally billions of
people just like Kelly in the world.

78
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,699
Here are some famous Indians.

79
00:04:46,994 --> 00:04:49,663
Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar.

80
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:54,418
He is a Nobel Prize-winning
physicist. Impressive.

81
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,297
Apu from The Simpsons.
Hilarious Indian.

82
00:04:58,714 --> 00:05:02,802
M. Night Shyamalan, The
Village, Unbreakable, Sixth Sense...

83
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,054
"I see dead people."
Okay.

84
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:06,514
Spoiler alert.

85
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,974
He was dead the whole time.
Just stop it.

86
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:13,854
What's... Oh, what?
Where did that come from?

87
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:20,820
Karen, my chips got stuck
in the vending machine again.

88
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,280
I need
your skinny little arms.

89
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,448
Oh.

90
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,783
Did you shake it?

91
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:28,369
Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.

92
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:35,918
We have such a
roller-coaster thing, Karen and I.

93
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,963
Excuse me?
Roller-coastery friendship.

94
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:44,760
Hot and cold, on again, off again,
sexual tension-filled type of deal.

95
00:05:45,469 --> 00:05:47,137
It's very Sam and Diane.

96
00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:50,391
Wow. Yeah?
From Cheers. Yeah.

97
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:54,812
And another thing about the Indian
people, they love sex positions.

98
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:57,857
I present to you
the Kama Sutra.

99
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,277
I mean, look at that.
Who has seen that before?

100
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,696
I have,
that's Union of the Monkey.

101
00:06:03,779 --> 00:06:06,115
Oh, that's what they call it.

102
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:07,783
This is the best meeting
we have ever had.

103
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,034
Thank you, Kevin.

104
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,995
You know, I find this
incredibly offensive.

105
00:06:11,078 --> 00:06:12,371
Well, I find it beautiful.

106
00:06:12,454 --> 00:06:15,875
Well, whatever Kelly wants
to do in her own house is fine,

107
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,877
but we shouldn't all
be subjected to it.

108
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,587
Actually, she's right.

109
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,631
This is inappropriate.
Why don't I take these?

110
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,049
No, you're not
going to collect them.

111
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,635
Yeah. No, this is a
delightful, charming culture.

112
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,847
My Indian cultural seminar
was going great until

113
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:34,977
Toby decided he was too immature
to deal with culturally explicit images.

114
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,646
It's just sex, people,
everybody does it.

115
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:41,692
I'm doing it with Carole
probably tonight.

116
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,448
All right, I think you guys
should be all set.

117
00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:49,700
Oh, here's the corporate
card for dinner Thanks.

118
00:06:49,783 --> 00:06:52,870
Now, Karen, let's keep it
to $20 a person this time.

119
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,246
Got it.
Okay.

120
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,459
Once a quarter, the sales staff
of this branch has to stay late

121
00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:01,754
to do order form
consolidation which,

122
00:07:02,963 --> 00:07:06,133
amazingly, is even less
interesting than it sounds.

123
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,344
You guys ready to party?

124
00:07:08,844 --> 00:07:09,929
What's that?

125
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,641
I said,
"Are you ready to party!"

126
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,860
Isn't this fun?
Not wearing shoes?

127
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,071
I wish some of us
still had our shoes on.

128
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:31,033
Stop it. It's a disease.
I told you.

129
00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,829
I thought you said
this was a costume party.

130
00:07:37,706 --> 00:07:39,625
What does that
look like to you?

131
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:41,752
An Indian woman in a sari.

132
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,212
No one's even gonna notice.

133
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:44,296
Nice outfit.

134
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:48,008
Hey, Kevin. It's a costume.
So you can just cool it, okay?

135
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,969
Carole? Carole...

136
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,973
I'll have one
of those as well.

137
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,808
Thank you very much.
Thank you.

138
00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:57,685
Now these are limes,
lemons, onions...

139
00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,812
I'm a vegetarian.
What can I eat?

140
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,022
It's all vegetarian.

141
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,816
I'll just have some bread.

142
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:07,611
You used your hands.

143
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,992
Oh, yuck, oh...

144
00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:17,287
What, is it too spicy?
No.

145
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:20,249
These s'mores are disgusting.

146
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:22,543
They're not s'mores,
they're samosas.

147
00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:26,088
Do you think
they have any s'mores?

148
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:28,966
All they are is chocolate,
graham cracker and marshmallow.

149
00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:31,176
How difficult
would that have been?

150
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:37,641
So, you're
Kelly's sisters, huh?

151
00:08:42,771 --> 00:08:44,565
What?
Rupa, Neepa, Tiffany,

152
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:46,817
stop acting like such little
losers and just be cool!

153
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:50,904
Come on, Ryan. Come on.
Leave him alone! I hate you guys.

154
00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:52,656
They said something
about Zach Braff...

155
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,074
Don't even listen to them...

156
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,451
No, you know...

157
00:08:57,953 --> 00:08:59,329
Very official.

158
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:00,998
I decided to come.

159
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,876
I feel a little underdressed,

160
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:07,588
but at least I'm not dressed
like a slutty cheerleader, right?

161
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:09,673
Is that mean?

162
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:26,690
Temp! Temp!

163
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,624
I don't even want
to hear it, okay?

164
00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:45,042
Stop it.
Stop it right now.

165
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,376
I didn't come to Diwali
to get yelled at.

166
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,587
Ryan is a temporary worker.
Makes no money.

167
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:52,216
Vali is a whole doctor, so
handsome. Makes good money...

168
00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:53,425
Do you think
I want to date a doctor?

169
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,718
...and he's a perfect match.

170
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,556
Hey, Big Tuna, you ready?

171
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,141
Yep.

172
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:06,271
One, two, three, shot!

173
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,609
Oh, holy mother of God...

174
00:10:10,692 --> 00:10:12,569
Oh, that burns!

175
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,239
Golly...
That's good...

176
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:40,305
Wow! Thirty years.

177
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,475
And you two only met once
before the wedding night?

178
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,394
Yes.
Wow.

179
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,980
How long have you been married
to the cheerleader?

180
00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:52,985
She's not a cheerleader! She
thought this was a costume party.

181
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,238
No, we're not married

182
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:57,948
yet.

183
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,826
She is very fair.

184
00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:03,996
She is very fair.
Very fair and very kind.

185
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:08,333
So, tell me, is your marriage
the kind of thing

186
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,712
where when you die, she
has to throw herself on a fire?

187
00:11:12,796 --> 00:11:14,006
No, okay.

188
00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:17,759
It's still very cool.
Okay, thanks.

189
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:26,143
One, two, three, shot!

190
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,406
Are you okay?

191
00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:41,241
I'm gonna be.

192
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,874
Hi. I'm just gonna...
Just for a sec. Just a sec.

193
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:53,545
Everyone? I'm sorry. Could I
have your attention, please?

194
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:58,634
Thank you. Hi. Sorry, I just
have an announcement to make.

195
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:06,558
Okay. I have learned a lot
about Indian culture tonight,

196
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:10,729
but I have learned
even more about love.

197
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,649
And I know
you're all thinking,

198
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:16,860
"Who is this crazy gringo
and what is he talking about?”

199
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:21,323
Well, I'm not crazy.
Maybe I'm crazy in love.

200
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:27,162
So, without further ado,
Carole...

201
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,665
Carol Stills,

202
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:38,257
I would like you to do me the
honor of making me your husband.

203
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,886
Oh, Michael...

204
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,680
What do you say?

205
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,100
Can we talk about this
in private?

206
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:49,977
I didn't hear you?

207
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,604
Can we talk about this
in private?

208
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,274
Oh, you gotta be kidding.

209
00:12:57,484 --> 00:12:58,777
Okay.

210
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:08,954
No, I get it. I get it.
You're not ready. We'll wait.

211
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,331
This is our ninth date,
Michael.

212
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,916
Well, yeah. But I...

213
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:16,003
I feel like I've known you
many lifetimes.

214
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:21,383
Maybe I'm Hindu after all.
Okay, I'm not Hindu, but...

215
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:25,929
Carole, Carole, I just... I feel
like... I just like you so much.

216
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:30,183
I'd better go. Okay? You
can find a way home, all right?

217
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,435
Yes.

218
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:32,769
Okay.
Okay.

219
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:37,607
Okay. Good night.

220
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,318
Good night.
Hey, you know what?

221
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,111
Why don't I come with you?

222
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,947
"Cause I've got this book
called the Kama Sutra...

223
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,199
Okay, good night, Michael.
All right.

224
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:48,660
Good night.

225
00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:58,337
Well, I was a temp,
but I got promoted.

226
00:13:58,503 --> 00:14:01,673
So the compensation
is a lot more competitive.

227
00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,550
So you're saving money now...
Yes...

228
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,010
...to start a family and home?

229
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:07,554
Oh, or travel?

230
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,265
And buy an Xbox.

231
00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:17,522
Is there anything you wanted
to ask us tonight?

232
00:14:19,107 --> 00:14:22,235
Can you believe that my boss
proposed to his girlfriend in public?

233
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,363
That is so Michael.
Is it?

234
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:26,782
He's really outgoing, huh?

235
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,367
Yeah.

236
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,244
Hey, would you excuse me
for a second?

237
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,210
It's hot in there.

238
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,545
How's the naan?

239
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:41,963
Dry.

240
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,882
You look like
you were having fun.

241
00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:46,176
I am. You should come
dance with us.

242
00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:49,096
I have to watch our shoes
so they don't get stolen.

243
00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:50,389
Who were you texting?

244
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:51,473
No one.

245
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:05,070
I went to
the doctor I went to the mountains

246
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,072
I looked to the children...

247
00:15:07,155 --> 00:15:09,324
Andy, no a cappella.

248
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:16,915
I looked to the
children I drank from the fountain

249
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,253
There's more than one answer
to these questions

250
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,463
Pointing me in
a crooked line...

251
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:24,881
Wait.

252
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:28,593
The less I seek my source

253
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:29,719
Oh, come on, guys, please.

254
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:33,014
The closer I am to fine

255
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:35,725
The closer I am to fine

256
00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,185
That's not good.

257
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,938
Tuna! Are you kidding me?

258
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:46,820
Oh, my God.

259
00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:51,950
Wow. That's so spicy.
Here.

260
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,034
Yeah.

261
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,916
You're waiting for a call?

262
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,209
No.

263
00:16:06,673 --> 00:16:07,799
Wow.

264
00:16:11,052 --> 00:16:15,557
Pam, when Carole said,
"No," tonight,

265
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,811
I think I finally realized
how you must be feeling.

266
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,148
We're both the victims
of broken engagements.

267
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,027
Well, you were
never really engaged.

268
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:31,531
I was in that
marriage arena, though.

269
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,826
Yeah.
Yeah.

270
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,455
Oh, well.

271
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,627
I kind of thought something
would happen tonight, too.

272
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,465
So alike.

273
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,968
So alike.

274
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,023
What are you doing?

275
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:06,983
What are you doing?

276
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,318
I'm rejecting your kiss.

277
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:10,111
I... What? I didn't...

278
00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:28,213
Can I have a ride home?

279
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,550
If you sit in the back.

280
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,844
Night, guys.

281
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:45,480
Hey, can I have a ride, man?
I have my bike.

282
00:17:46,147 --> 00:17:48,692
No way, dude.
I am not driving home.

283
00:17:49,192 --> 00:17:54,781
I brought an inflatable bed
for just such occasions.

284
00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:57,867
You're welcome to share it,
though. It's a roomy twin.

285
00:17:58,702 --> 00:17:59,786
I'm good.

286
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,855
Hey, dummy, get in the car.

287
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,399
I'm a drunk driver.

288
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:30,734
Yes, you are.

289
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,320
Here, let me take that thing.

290
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,280
Just get in the car.
Okay.

291
00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:37,616
You can really hold
your liquor, though, really.

292
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,367
Yeah. You can't.

293
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,744
Okay.

294
00:18:41,369 --> 00:18:44,080
And I am just going to lie down
in the back, if that's all right?

295
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,165
Sure.

296
00:18:45,498 --> 00:18:49,586
Here's your bag.
Just don't puke on anything.

297
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,385
You okay?
So good.

298
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,553
Good.

299
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,727
These are not my shoes.

300
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,530
This is just like that show
Taxicab Confessions...

301
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,699
If you say one more word,
I'm stopping the car.

302
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:20,784
Sorry.

303
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,206
This is going out to
Indians everywhere.

304
00:19:27,707 --> 00:19:30,710
It's a tribute to one of the
greats, Mr. Adam Sandler.

305
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:38,134
Diwali is a festival of lights

306
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:40,220
Let me tell you something

307
00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:45,934
Tonight has been
one crazy night

308
00:19:46,601 --> 00:19:50,063
So put on your saris

309
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:53,733
It's time to celebrate Diwali

310
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:56,528
Everybody looks so jolly

311
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:59,739
but it's not Christmas,
it's Diwali

312
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,325
The goddess of destruction,
Kali

313
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,370
stopped by to celebrate Diwali

314
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:09,165
Don't invite any zombies

315
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,419
lo a celebration of Diwali

316
00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:15,422
Along Came Polly

317
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:18,633
to have some fun at Diwali

318
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,928
If you're Indian
and you love to party

319
00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:25,724
have a happy, happy, happy

320
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:29,060
happy Diwali!

321
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,354
Happy Diwali!