1 00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:05,159 Hey, Jim. Jim! Come here. 2 00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:07,761 Do you know who that is? 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:08,864 No. 4 00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:10,067 Look at him. Look at him. 5 00:00:10,142 --> 00:00:11,166 T-shirt, jeans. 6 00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:13,677 Is it you? I am flattered. 7 00:00:14,947 --> 00:00:16,073 That's Johnny Depp. 8 00:00:16,148 --> 00:00:18,878 Where'd you take that? In my condo complex. 9 00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:21,249 Oh, my God, that's right! I read in People magazine 10 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,447 that he was looking for a two-bedroom condo in Scranton. 11 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:24,955 I'm flipping out, man. 12 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,787 Well, you remember my idea for the fourth Pirates movie. 13 00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,053 Sure. That they should do one. 14 00:00:28,127 --> 00:00:32,655 Hey, Jim, Jim, where do I find the Black Pearl? 15 00:00:32,731 --> 00:00:34,824 Who's that? Captain Jack Sparrow. 16 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:36,697 Captain Jack Sparrow, Jim. 17 00:00:36,769 --> 00:00:38,293 John Dillinger. 18 00:00:39,304 --> 00:00:41,067 No, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. 19 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:42,607 Cap'n Crunch. 20 00:00:42,775 --> 00:00:44,606 Okay. Okay. 21 00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:46,708 Screw you, Halpert. 22 00:00:46,779 --> 00:00:50,078 You know, it's not easy getting excited about stuff. 23 00:00:50,282 --> 00:00:52,477 Remember how you felt when you thought you'd seen Roger Clemens? 24 00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:53,540 At the Yankees game. 25 00:00:53,619 --> 00:00:54,847 Yeah. Well, it wasn't him. 26 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,354 I had a little better reason to believe that... 27 00:00:58,357 --> 00:00:59,949 You're right. You're right. 28 00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:02,523 Well, you're not right, because Johnny Depp... 29 00:01:02,594 --> 00:01:04,721 I know. I know! ...in your condo complex? 30 00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:08,597 It also explains why the name on his mailbox was M. Schulman. 31 00:01:12,237 --> 00:01:13,864 M. Night Schulman? 32 00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:38,260 First up, 33 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:41,060 the Lost and Found has gone missing. 34 00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:42,896 It itself is lost, 35 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,869 so please try not to lose anything until we find it. 36 00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:48,498 Pet day. If you don't have a pet please don't feel like... 37 00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:50,872 When are we getting to sales topics? 38 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,411 Yeah. What about those leads? Did you hear anything from corporate? 39 00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:55,413 Ah, yes, the leads. 40 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:57,745 The leads that Sabre has spent $50,000 41 00:01:57,816 --> 00:02:01,582 to get from a market research company are not here yet. 42 00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:02,950 - Man. - But will be... 43 00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:05,546 Damn it! No, no, no. No. Meeting's not over. 44 00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,990 But is there anything relevant to the sales staff here? 45 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,857 No sales topic, per se. 46 00:02:09,928 --> 00:02:12,829 Well, then no Andy Bernard, per se. 47 00:02:12,898 --> 00:02:14,297 I agree. 48 00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:16,493 Dwight? Sorry. Michael, I got calls to make. 49 00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:18,536 I would like your undivided attention, please. 50 00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:21,038 You couldn't handle my undivided attention. 51 00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:25,874 Over the last few weeks, things have been changing here. 52 00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:30,545 Sabre says it is our duty to support the sales team, 53 00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:33,210 and the salesmen are letting it go to their heads. 54 00:02:33,285 --> 00:02:34,946 I think it's kind of screwed up, 55 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,681 because the way this place used to work 56 00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:39,952 was make friends first, make sales second, 57 00:02:40,092 --> 00:02:42,822 make love third, in no particular order. 58 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,463 Listen, Michael, 59 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,634 about what happened earlier. 60 00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:51,930 Yeah? 61 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:53,699 When I was asking about the leads. 62 00:02:53,772 --> 00:02:54,932 Mmm-hmm. 63 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:56,634 Is there any news on the leads? 64 00:02:57,809 --> 00:02:58,901 Is that all you have to say to me? 65 00:02:58,977 --> 00:03:01,639 Yeah. You got any news on the leads? 66 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:03,370 Okay, I tell you what. 67 00:03:03,448 --> 00:03:05,609 I'm going out on a very important sales call. 68 00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:08,050 You get any news about the leads, you try me. 69 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,680 All of my numbers. All six of my numbers, okay? 70 00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,724 Including the car phone! 71 00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:15,925 All right, Dwight out! 72 00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:17,621 Salesman is King. 73 00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:20,392 As the best salesman, I am King of Kings. 74 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:23,726 Oh, you say Jesus is King of Kings? 75 00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:27,533 Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself? 76 00:03:33,011 --> 00:03:34,876 Do you not answer emails anymore? 77 00:03:34,947 --> 00:03:38,781 Because I have emailed you four times asking you to come to my desk. 78 00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:40,841 Honey, if I don't have time to answer an email, 79 00:03:40,919 --> 00:03:44,150 I definitely don't have time to walk over to your desk. 80 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:46,054 Wow, wowie, wowie. 81 00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,992 Congratulations. It's a big check. 82 00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:51,824 Oh, sorry, one second. 83 00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:53,330 Stop sexting Pam. 84 00:03:53,398 --> 00:03:54,660 I'm trying to congratulate you. 85 00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:58,134 This is actually a big potential sale, so... 86 00:03:58,203 --> 00:03:59,932 You're writing your memoirs over there? 87 00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:01,370 You writing your name over there? 88 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,600 Well, it's a pretty big check. 89 00:04:02,674 --> 00:04:04,403 It's good, you know, with the kid. 90 00:04:04,476 --> 00:04:06,740 Okay. Don't gloat. Here's the thing. 91 00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:09,042 This kind of money can corrupt people. 92 00:04:09,314 --> 00:04:11,282 All right, here we go. "Michael." 93 00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:12,647 I'm just saying that... 94 00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:13,844 "Michael." 95 00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:17,479 Great. 96 00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:20,616 Teddy, nice. Let me just... Let me write that down real quick. 97 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,853 Pencil. Give me a pencil. 98 00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:28,122 Hang on, Teddy. I'm making a sale. 99 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,428 Mmm-hmm. Sales. 100 00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:30,525 Mmm-hmm. 101 00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:31,830 There's other pencils in this office. 102 00:04:31,903 --> 00:04:33,234 Give me... 103 00:04:46,852 --> 00:04:48,444 Honey and jelly sandwich time. 104 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:49,748 Mike. 105 00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:51,880 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 106 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,424 Look at that. That's... 107 00:04:53,492 --> 00:04:54,686 I know who did that. 108 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,661 You saw who did this and you didn't stop them? 109 00:04:57,729 --> 00:05:00,254 Didn't have to see. It was sales, I can feel it. 110 00:05:00,732 --> 00:05:02,495 They are out of control. 111 00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:04,765 The sales department smashed my sandwich. 112 00:05:04,836 --> 00:05:06,895 Yes. All of them. 113 00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:08,837 Together. It's a conspiracy. 114 00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:10,697 Listen to me, Mike. 115 00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:12,835 You gotta do something about them. 116 00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:13,935 You don't get it. 117 00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:16,537 You need to get back on top. 118 00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:19,447 That's what she said. That's what she said. 119 00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:20,917 Yeah. Yeah. 120 00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,853 Something came for you, Michael. 121 00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,049 Thank you very much. 122 00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:27,523 What'd you get? 123 00:05:27,592 --> 00:05:29,457 - Uh, it's just the stupid leads. - All right! 124 00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,428 About time. Yeah! Me likey! 125 00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:34,363 Yeah, finally, Michael. Hand them over, numbnuts. 126 00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:38,700 But seriously, I mean, it's your job to give us those leads. 127 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,101 All right. 128 00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:43,507 Then I guess I should give them out. Hold on. 129 00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:47,142 You know what I'm thinking? 130 00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:49,612 I'm thinking that I have something that you want. 131 00:05:49,681 --> 00:05:51,979 You guys are acting like you own this place, 132 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,244 and you don't. 133 00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:56,185 Not even Sabre owns this place. It's a rental. 134 00:05:56,254 --> 00:05:58,017 I'm kind of sick of the attitude around here. 135 00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,955 I'm sick of the cocky walk. 136 00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:03,927 I am sick of you throwing your paycheck in my face. 137 00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:06,925 I am sick of your uppity attitude, Jim. 138 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:12,300 I think I am not going to give these to you. 139 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,668 - Yes! - Yeah! 140 00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:15,366 We need those leads, Michael. 141 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,170 That's our job, Michael. Michael! 142 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,507 Michael, we spent a lot of money on those leads. 143 00:06:23,582 --> 00:06:24,640 You have to give them out. 144 00:06:24,716 --> 00:06:27,241 Then we are just rewarding their bad behavior. 145 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:30,186 Okay, just imagine 146 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:33,452 that instead of going to jail for murdering someone, 147 00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:35,827 you got an ice cream cone. 148 00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:38,590 If that were the case, then in the summertime, 149 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:42,326 everyone would go around killing people 150 00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,632 for the pleasure of an ice cream cone. 151 00:06:45,704 --> 00:06:48,764 Michael, I don't want to incentivize murder, 152 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,569 but we've tried to make it clear 153 00:06:50,642 --> 00:06:52,974 that our policy emphasizes sales staff. 154 00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,308 They act like I have no power. 155 00:06:55,514 --> 00:06:57,311 But you do. You are in charge... 156 00:06:57,382 --> 00:06:59,077 Thank you... Of supporting the sales staff. 157 00:06:59,151 --> 00:07:00,914 You are required to hand out those leads, Michael. 158 00:07:00,986 --> 00:07:02,112 Mmm-hmm. 159 00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:06,021 Well, if that is what I am required to do, I will do exactly that. 160 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,786 Okay, good. Exactly that. 161 00:07:07,859 --> 00:07:09,622 Good. Exactly that. 162 00:07:09,694 --> 00:07:11,093 Why do you keep repeating... 163 00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:16,425 Hello. May I have everyone's attention, please? 164 00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,760 Gabe has instructed me to hand out the leads, 165 00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:22,466 so I am going to give the leads to King Creed. 166 00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:23,732 What? What are you... 167 00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:26,744 And to King Meredith! 168 00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:28,109 They aren't sales people. 169 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,341 And to King Angela. 170 00:07:30,415 --> 00:07:33,782 Because today we are all kings and queens. 171 00:07:34,386 --> 00:07:35,876 What the hell do you think you're doing? 172 00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:38,445 I am giving them the leads, Phyllis. 173 00:07:43,395 --> 00:07:45,124 Hey. Hey. 174 00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:47,492 So I'm gonna go ahead and save you some time, 175 00:07:47,566 --> 00:07:50,592 and tell you that no one's gonna go along with this. 176 00:07:50,669 --> 00:07:51,795 But you knew that, right? 177 00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:52,894 Mmm-hmm. 178 00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:56,930 All right. So, why don't you just give me my share of the leads, 179 00:07:57,275 --> 00:07:59,300 and I'll start making some calls? 180 00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:00,469 Okay. 181 00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:05,973 Hey, all right. All right. 182 00:08:09,154 --> 00:08:10,951 These aren't leads. What are they? 183 00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:13,513 Oh, right. Those are clues, 184 00:08:13,592 --> 00:08:15,492 and within each clue is a lesson. 185 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,051 You learn a lesson, and then you find a lead. 186 00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:21,621 The leads are scattered all over the industrial park. 187 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,692 I'm trying to make your kids respect you, 188 00:08:24,769 --> 00:08:28,102 because a father needs to respect his boss, 189 00:08:28,173 --> 00:08:31,506 and kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. 190 00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:33,043 Do you understand that line of logic? 191 00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:34,339 I don't even think you understand it. 192 00:08:34,412 --> 00:08:36,141 I do understand it. 193 00:08:36,982 --> 00:08:38,449 This one's a map. 194 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,506 Or is it? 195 00:08:43,688 --> 00:08:46,953 How the tables have turned! I see you got my email. 196 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,760 Are you gonna give me the leads or not? 197 00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:53,320 I'll give you the leads. But you know what? 198 00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:56,800 It's gonna cost you some clerical work. 199 00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:58,995 What are these for? It doesn't matter. 200 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,628 Fill them out. All of them. 201 00:09:00,705 --> 00:09:03,071 And when you're done, you can watch me shred them. 202 00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,540 Right. 203 00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:06,543 I want to watch The Kardashians, okay? 204 00:09:06,611 --> 00:09:08,272 I don't want to watch Bored To Death. It's mindless! 205 00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:09,574 Kardashians is a good show. It is... 206 00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:10,706 Thank you, Stanley! No, you don't even know! 207 00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,147 How would he even know The Kardashians? 208 00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:14,515 It's about a family, a real-life family. No, Stanley, do you... 209 00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:16,344 Hey, baby, what's up? 210 00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:19,185 I am currently reading incoherent riddles 211 00:09:19,257 --> 00:09:22,124 on blue index cards to find vital information 212 00:09:22,193 --> 00:09:25,890 that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you? 213 00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,926 Nothing but vomit and diapers over here. 214 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,059 Oh, my God. I couldn't envy you more. 215 00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:34,299 Having a baby is as exhausting as they say it is. 216 00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:37,507 Having two babies, that's just unfair. 217 00:09:38,143 --> 00:09:39,542 How about this one? 218 00:09:39,611 --> 00:09:42,273 "When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, 219 00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:45,214 "a certain manager will go to his moppy place." 220 00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:47,012 He means his mopey place. 221 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,986 It's under that street lamp that he thinks was in Casablanca. 222 00:09:50,055 --> 00:09:51,113 God, I love you. 223 00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:55,222 Today I turned an office crisis into a teachable moment. 224 00:09:55,627 --> 00:10:00,223 A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally. 225 00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:03,358 I can imagine some yokel sitting behind his desk saying, 226 00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:06,268 "Oh, yeah, take a lead. Learn nothing." 227 00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,636 Some people shouldn't be in this business. 228 00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:13,636 Hey. I guess you probably won't give me your leads 229 00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:15,304 since I'm a jerk salesman. 230 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:17,940 Yeah. I basically wish you were dead. 231 00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:20,545 I hid the leads. 232 00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:21,779 Where? 233 00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:29,120 Colder. 234 00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:33,329 Colder. 235 00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:37,495 Warmer. 236 00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:40,298 Warmer. 237 00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:44,607 Colder. Colder. Warmer. 238 00:10:45,877 --> 00:10:48,175 Warmer. Warmer! 239 00:10:48,913 --> 00:10:51,177 Hot! Hotter. 240 00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:54,310 Burning hot! Lower. 241 00:10:54,953 --> 00:10:56,250 Are you... Lower. 242 00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,788 Are you sure? 243 00:10:58,723 --> 00:11:00,281 Lower. 244 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,189 What are you doing, idiot? 245 00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:10,325 Michael's stupid scavenger hunt. 246 00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:13,462 Scavenger hunt? Here. I can solve it. Give it. 247 00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:15,796 "The treasure you seek is in the parking lot 248 00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:17,933 "under the first president"? 249 00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:19,237 Lincoln. 250 00:11:20,979 --> 00:11:22,674 The prankster is getting pranked. 251 00:11:23,815 --> 00:11:25,612 It involves you, too. 252 00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:27,240 The leads are in? 253 00:11:28,486 --> 00:11:29,714 Michael? 254 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,816 Michael, you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in. 255 00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:36,952 Well, big shot, if you want to find your leads, 256 00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:39,394 go to the man who never breeds. 257 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:41,688 Kevin. 258 00:11:41,766 --> 00:11:42,994 Damn it! 259 00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:46,003 Kevin! Give me those leads. Where are they? Come on! 260 00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:48,039 You are never going to find them. 261 00:11:48,106 --> 00:11:50,301 Really? I'm going to enjoy this. 262 00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:52,309 Give me the leads! Where are my leads? 263 00:11:52,377 --> 00:11:53,366 Give me the leads! 264 00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:54,673 I'm still enjoying it! 265 00:11:54,746 --> 00:11:55,974 Where are they? 266 00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:58,481 They're in the trash. They're in the trash. 267 00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:01,581 The trash. It's code. 268 00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:04,314 All right, Meredith. Take off your dress. 269 00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:05,413 Okey-dokey. 270 00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:06,684 No, dear God, no. 271 00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:09,192 It's in the trashcan. In the kitchen. 272 00:12:09,861 --> 00:12:11,795 It's coming off either way. 273 00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:22,771 Clean sack. 274 00:12:23,508 --> 00:12:25,408 What... I emptied it in the dumpster. 275 00:12:25,477 --> 00:12:27,604 It had Toby's baba ghanoush. 276 00:12:28,379 --> 00:12:31,439 If we don't patronize the only Syrian restaurant in town, 277 00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:35,077 there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas 278 00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,246 and, you know, make-your-own-salads. 279 00:12:43,962 --> 00:12:44,951 It's empty! 280 00:12:45,029 --> 00:12:46,257 Wait. What day is today? 281 00:12:46,331 --> 00:12:49,095 Tonight is Ghost Whisperer, so Friday. 282 00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:53,627 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no, no! 283 00:12:54,939 --> 00:12:56,201 Hey, hey! 284 00:12:56,608 --> 00:12:59,270 Wait! Wait! 285 00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:04,204 Okay, you know what? Let's just go to the dump, start looking. 286 00:13:04,282 --> 00:13:06,409 Ryan, come on. Shotgun in my car. 287 00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:08,315 Michael, why would we all go to the dump? 288 00:13:08,386 --> 00:13:10,877 Why? Because I am not going to call Sabre 289 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:14,891 and say, "Hi! You know those very valuable, expensive leads 290 00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:16,586 "that you gave us earlier today? 291 00:13:16,661 --> 00:13:18,424 "Well, because of a screw-up by a staff member, 292 00:13:18,496 --> 00:13:19,827 "they're now in the city dump." 293 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:22,093 Not your staff, Michael. You. 294 00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:23,794 Well, that's not the way it's gonna sound. 295 00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:26,234 Here's what we'll do. We'll go to the dump, we'll look around, 296 00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:27,999 then we'll all go out and get pizza, 297 00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:30,267 maybe catch a movie, late-night drink, 298 00:13:30,341 --> 00:13:31,740 some more pizza, call it a night. What do you... 299 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,677 Does it have to be pizza? Could we go for a falafel? 300 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:35,735 Really? 301 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,907 I'm not going. You did this, not us. 302 00:13:37,982 --> 00:13:42,214 Okay, no. You encouraged it. You were complicit. Complicit. 303 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,113 You were all successories. 304 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:46,157 That sounds fun, mucking around in the dump. 305 00:13:46,224 --> 00:13:47,623 I wish I could go. You can. 306 00:13:47,692 --> 00:13:49,683 I can't. You know that. 307 00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:52,127 Okay, fine, I get it. I'll just go by myself. 308 00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:53,895 I'll go, Michael. 309 00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:57,262 'Cause you'll just screw it up. 310 00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,710 This place has gone to hell. 311 00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:19,882 You know, Dwight, there was a time you'd be pinching yourself 312 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:22,859 to have the opportunity to look through a dump with me. 313 00:14:22,927 --> 00:14:24,952 Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak. 314 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:28,760 Yeah. Well, sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn. 315 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,460 If you don't believe me, look in my gutters. 316 00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:33,365 You're adorable. You need to go for it. 317 00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:36,635 I'm gonna be, like, mad at you if you don't... Yeah, whatever. 318 00:14:39,944 --> 00:14:41,844 Can't wait for this day to be over. 319 00:14:41,913 --> 00:14:43,847 Why? Just all the drama. 320 00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:45,280 What drama? 321 00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,840 Between the... 322 00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,177 Us and you guys. 323 00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:51,579 It's unnecessary, right? 324 00:14:51,656 --> 00:14:52,680 So unnecessary. 325 00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:54,987 Good. Thank God you said that. 326 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:56,757 You know, maybe if the salesmen 327 00:14:56,828 --> 00:14:58,659 weren't acting like such a bunch of stuck-up losers, 328 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:02,131 then this day wouldn't be so bad. Did you ever think of that? 329 00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:05,993 I have new baby pictures. 330 00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:07,162 Jim. 331 00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:11,241 Don't use your cute baby to make us like you. 332 00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:12,776 She's wearing a Onesie. 333 00:15:13,611 --> 00:15:14,839 Stop it. 334 00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,014 If we act nice now, 335 00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,483 then we're rewarding them for treating us poorly. 336 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:22,610 Didn't we kind of start it? 337 00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:24,484 Mmm. I think you're remembering that wrong. 338 00:15:24,555 --> 00:15:25,715 Yeah. PHYLLIS: I don't know about this. 339 00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,519 I mean, I think we should hold our ground. 340 00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:30,186 The company's changed, and if they don't like it, they can leave. 341 00:15:30,261 --> 00:15:33,526 I mean, a lot of their work can be done from India. 342 00:15:33,631 --> 00:15:35,997 Can we at least all agree that this is uncomfortable, 343 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,592 and maybe heading for something bad? 344 00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,502 All those who agree say "aye." 345 00:15:40,571 --> 00:15:41,629 Aye. 346 00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:43,571 All those opposed? I don't think we need opposed. 347 00:15:44,609 --> 00:15:46,372 You've changed, man. 348 00:15:46,811 --> 00:15:49,609 Oh, why, 'cause I have a shot at a 100K commission? 349 00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:52,149 Since when do you care about money? 350 00:15:52,216 --> 00:15:54,241 When I first met you, you were a wide-eyed innocent. 351 00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:56,549 Hey, there is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes. 352 00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:58,885 No, no, no, I'm talking about your personality, Dwight! 353 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:02,393 Okay, when I first met you, I had a lot of job offers. 354 00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:05,926 And I had an offer from lvan Schotsky. 355 00:16:05,997 --> 00:16:08,727 The lvan Schotsky. If I had assistant managed him... 356 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,824 Assistant to the managed him. 357 00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,630 Oh, that's low! 358 00:16:11,703 --> 00:16:14,194 I would be number two right now at a Home Depot! 359 00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:15,261 Yeah. Okay? 360 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,967 'Cause they promote from within! 361 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,441 Instead I had to follow you. You're going nowhere. 362 00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:22,206 You think you would have done better without me. Really? 363 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,942 I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs. 364 00:16:25,016 --> 00:16:29,146 Wow! Okay! Man! 365 00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:32,781 When I think about all the time 366 00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:35,348 that I wasted being your friend! 367 00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:36,688 I shouldn't have been hanging out 368 00:16:36,761 --> 00:16:38,194 watching karate movies with you! 369 00:16:38,262 --> 00:16:39,524 Kung fu movies! 370 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:40,723 You know what I should have been doing? 371 00:16:40,798 --> 00:16:43,494 I should have been out at bars finding my soul mate, 372 00:16:43,568 --> 00:16:45,229 finding my wife, making babies. 373 00:16:45,303 --> 00:16:48,295 Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars! 374 00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:50,238 That's my wife you're talking about, man! 375 00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:53,209 Your made-up wife who doesn't exist? 376 00:16:54,912 --> 00:16:55,970 You watch it! 377 00:16:56,047 --> 00:17:00,541 If I'd wanted to hit you, I would have hit you. Don't do it! No, no. 378 00:17:01,452 --> 00:17:04,114 You just made an enemy with the wrong guy, Dwight. 379 00:17:09,494 --> 00:17:11,826 Wait. Timeout, timeout, timeout! 380 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,500 Time-in. No! 381 00:17:18,169 --> 00:17:20,763 Don't... Don't even think about that. 382 00:17:26,277 --> 00:17:27,505 Stop it! 383 00:17:27,578 --> 00:17:30,172 Give me that. That's my spool! 384 00:17:31,382 --> 00:17:33,782 What's the least we can do to make this okay? 385 00:17:33,851 --> 00:17:35,648 I'll text Pam. She's really good at this stuff. 386 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,780 Yeah. I'll text Erin. She's really good at this stuff, too. 387 00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:42,682 I mean, I guess we could give them some of our new commissions. 388 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,819 That is a dangerous precedent. 389 00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:47,194 Pam texted back saying we could give them all iPods. 390 00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:50,393 If they don't have an iPod by now, they really don't want one. 391 00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:52,993 All right. Then we're back to cash. 392 00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:54,629 And I gotta say, 393 00:17:54,705 --> 00:17:56,605 if giving a small percentage of our commissions 394 00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:58,665 is gonna smooth all this over, I'm for it. 395 00:17:58,743 --> 00:18:00,643 Okay, fine, cash it is. 396 00:18:00,711 --> 00:18:02,269 Erin just texted me back. 397 00:18:02,346 --> 00:18:04,837 "People love shells from faraway beaches." 398 00:18:07,385 --> 00:18:09,615 Okay, Dwight. All right, Dwight. 399 00:18:09,687 --> 00:18:12,884 Here we go! Here we go! Oh, God! 400 00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:13,946 Oh. 401 00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:31,503 We're never gonna find those leads, are we? 402 00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:32,634 No. 403 00:18:44,388 --> 00:18:46,049 Amazing, isn't it? 404 00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:49,656 No other animal on Earth could do this. 405 00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:52,753 Maybe beavers. But not like this. 406 00:18:56,667 --> 00:19:00,330 So, how about, guys, 1% commission a month instead of 2%? 407 00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:01,530 What do you think... No. 408 00:19:01,606 --> 00:19:03,506 No, we agreed 2% for the quarter. Yes. 409 00:19:03,574 --> 00:19:05,940 Okay. Hey, everybody. 410 00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,534 Nice spread. We get it. 411 00:19:07,612 --> 00:19:09,671 You eat like royalty. No, no. 412 00:19:09,747 --> 00:19:12,147 This is a representation of how we feel, 413 00:19:12,216 --> 00:19:14,480 and how we feel is really sorry. 414 00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:17,214 Yeah. We wanted to bring you in and make a peace offering. 415 00:19:17,288 --> 00:19:20,553 Yeah, we wanted to do the right thing, so... 416 00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:23,222 Way to go, guys. This... 417 00:19:24,262 --> 00:19:25,661 This was an integrity move. 418 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,925 Yeah. When we walked in here, 419 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:30,999 we were all prepared to tell you to go to hell. 420 00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:32,660 Do you have any pastries without fruit? 421 00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:35,433 Yes, we do. Eclairs. 422 00:19:37,675 --> 00:19:40,007 Well, you better be happy, taking 2% of our... 423 00:19:40,077 --> 00:19:42,545 2% milk! What I forgot for the coffee. 424 00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:43,637 Yeah, treats, Stanley. 425 00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,705 They've accepted our simple offer of treats only, 426 00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:47,011 nothing more. 427 00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:53,322 This is nice. All of us back together. 428 00:19:54,258 --> 00:19:55,520 This? 429 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,154 Why would somebody throw that out? 430 00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:59,162 Waste. 431 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,458 Hey. 432 00:20:04,368 --> 00:20:06,802 You know who'd like this? Phyllis. 433 00:20:07,104 --> 00:20:08,093 Purple much? 434 00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:09,298 Yeah, she does. 435 00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:12,771 She loves purple. Does it stink? 436 00:20:13,477 --> 00:20:14,569 Yeah. 437 00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:18,171 You know what would be a great picture here? 438 00:20:18,249 --> 00:20:21,616 Just this whole dump, and in the middle, one flower. 439 00:20:21,686 --> 00:20:23,051 Mmm-hmm. That's it. 440 00:20:23,654 --> 00:20:24,712 Wow. 441 00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:27,888 And the caption would read... 442 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:30,860 "Hope grows." 443 00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,553 "In a dump." 444 00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:41,732 Is the good news that you found our leads? 445 00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:42,966 No. Better. 446 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,405 We have an awesome beanbag chair 447 00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:45,737 that's perfect for the break room. 448 00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:48,370 I'm never gonna sit on that disgusting seat. 449 00:20:48,446 --> 00:20:50,971 Yeah, damn right you're not, 'cause it's for me and Michael only! 450 00:20:51,048 --> 00:20:55,007 Yeah! Yeah! 451 00:20:58,623 --> 00:21:00,215 It's freezing out here. 452 00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:01,383 Yeah! 453 00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:06,089 I have warm blood. 454 00:21:06,864 --> 00:21:09,230 Oh, wow. Thank you. 455 00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:16,266 You're the nicest person I've ever met.