1 00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:05,670 You wanted to see me? Yeah, have a seat. 2 00:00:05,738 --> 00:00:07,228 Is it serious? 3 00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:11,935 Wow. Andy's a little scared. 4 00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:13,137 Okay, right there. 5 00:00:14,613 --> 00:00:16,376 Right there's the problem. 6 00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:18,882 There have been reports around the office 7 00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:22,512 that you have been talking baby talk. 8 00:00:22,588 --> 00:00:23,646 Why would people say that? 9 00:00:23,722 --> 00:00:29,092 Well, I have it on good authority that you said the following. 10 00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:30,953 Can you read that back to me? 11 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,055 "Andy have a boo-boo tummy." Mmm-hmm. 12 00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:35,766 Would you rather me say, 13 00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:39,793 "Hey, guys, my irritable bowel syndrome is flaring up." 14 00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:42,102 Okay. "Crazy diarrhea happening right now." 15 00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:43,903 'Cause things can get real adult real fast. 16 00:00:43,976 --> 00:00:45,807 You are also on record as saying, 17 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:48,108 "Wittle-ittle, footie-wooties, num-nums, 18 00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:52,082 "jammies, make boom-boom, widiciwus, and Whode Island." 19 00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:55,352 Do I sometimes replace Rs with Ws? 20 00:00:55,487 --> 00:00:57,455 Do I sometimes repeat a word to get my point across? 21 00:00:57,523 --> 00:01:00,583 Well, if I do, Andy's sowwy. 22 00:01:00,659 --> 00:01:03,651 You can't be a baby in the office. 23 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:06,391 It makes me look like I hire babies. 24 00:01:06,465 --> 00:01:07,557 Well, if we're complaining, 25 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,567 a lot of people think your Elvis voice is annoying. 26 00:01:09,635 --> 00:01:10,795 Okay. Who said that? 27 00:01:10,869 --> 00:01:12,029 Just people. 28 00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:15,073 For the record, I think it's pretty fantastic. 29 00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:17,165 Thank you. Thank you a lot. 30 00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,903 And for what it's worth, I think your baby voice is tops. 31 00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:21,969 Tank you, Mr. Elvis. 32 00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:23,275 You're welcome, baby. 33 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:50,170 Dr. Tuna M.D., I have some terrible news. 34 00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:51,641 Wait, are you the patient or the doctor? 35 00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,507 The entire office has come down 36 00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:56,241 with a pernicious case of the Mondays. 37 00:01:56,682 --> 00:01:58,206 Wow. What do you put our chances at? 38 00:01:58,283 --> 00:01:59,477 0%. 39 00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:04,352 Unless we perform an immediate emergency morale transplant, stat! 40 00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:06,181 Sounds risky. 41 00:02:06,258 --> 00:02:08,590 Don't worry. There is a surefire cure. 42 00:02:09,394 --> 00:02:13,296 Employee of the Month. Every awesome place I've worked had one. 43 00:02:13,499 --> 00:02:17,959 Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG, my summer at Enron. 44 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:21,034 Wow. That's not such a bad idea. Great. 45 00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,903 Anything else? Nope. 46 00:02:26,044 --> 00:02:28,137 "Frankie's Dirty Joke of the Day." 47 00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:29,805 There's a bunch of those. Keep. 48 00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:32,407 There's a bunch of sent emails that just say "delivered." 49 00:02:32,484 --> 00:02:33,576 Should I delete those? 50 00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:36,120 I want to keep those so I can see what I sent. 51 00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:37,348 That's why you have a sent mail folder. 52 00:02:37,422 --> 00:02:38,480 Keep. 53 00:02:38,557 --> 00:02:41,526 There's about three news alerts from Nip Slip. 54 00:02:41,593 --> 00:02:43,390 For what? Nip Slip. 55 00:02:43,462 --> 00:02:45,589 Okay. I don't know how those get on there. 56 00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:46,722 Well... 57 00:02:46,798 --> 00:02:48,493 Must be hackers. 58 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,694 Hey, what's up? 59 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:54,268 What if I told you I had done the worst thing ever? 60 00:02:54,339 --> 00:02:55,704 Would you still want to be my friend? 61 00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:56,968 Did you murder someone? 62 00:02:57,042 --> 00:02:58,100 Worse than murder. 63 00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:59,337 Oh, my God. 64 00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:01,109 Lurk much? 65 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:04,313 I miss Pam. 66 00:03:07,352 --> 00:03:08,376 I think she's okay. 67 00:03:08,453 --> 00:03:11,115 Is that what we're going for now? "Okay"? 68 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,885 We used to go for "pretty good." 69 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,016 Great. 70 00:03:14,092 --> 00:03:15,559 Hey, how do you feel about starting 71 00:03:15,627 --> 00:03:17,060 an Employee of the Month program? 72 00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:20,530 Yeah. You know what, that actually might make me feel better. 73 00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:21,896 I'm not in this for the trophies, but... 74 00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:22,991 You're not in it at all 75 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,933 'cause you can't be Employee of the Month. You're a manager. 76 00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:26,527 Well, technically I am a co-manager 77 00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:28,436 and I barely have any responsibilities. 78 00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:30,873 All right. Yeah. But I work hard, I love this company, 79 00:03:30,943 --> 00:03:33,411 and for those reasons I think I would make a good Employee of the Month. 80 00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,604 It would look bad. Sorry. 81 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,046 It would look good on my mantle. 82 00:03:37,649 --> 00:03:39,583 Jim's talking to Michael right now. 83 00:03:39,651 --> 00:03:41,516 They totally went for our idea! 84 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:44,112 Yeah! Your idea. 85 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,451 My idea. 86 00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,452 I just need Andy to think it's his idea 87 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:50,290 so it won't get traced back to me. 88 00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:55,232 In approximately six hours Jim will get a phone call from David Wallace. 89 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,132 He will be fired. 90 00:03:57,402 --> 00:04:00,963 Hey, Pam, do you have a sec to check over this itinerary? 91 00:04:02,174 --> 00:04:03,163 Looks great. 92 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:06,143 Did you really look it over? Felt like maybe you didn't. 93 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:07,337 Okay. 94 00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:11,708 The Michael Scott Foundation is still in existence. 95 00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:14,650 There you are. I don't think we have finished with my inbox. 96 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,585 What's "Scott's Tots"? 97 00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:24,321 Has it really been 10 years? 98 00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:36,166 Michael, why did you promise that? 99 00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:37,503 To change lives. 100 00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:40,443 No. Michael, why would you promise that? 101 00:04:40,512 --> 00:04:42,104 You know... Okay. I can't... 102 00:04:42,347 --> 00:04:44,679 Call the school, cancel. I can't go through with this. 103 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,650 We've already rescheduled seven times. 104 00:04:46,718 --> 00:04:50,279 Michael, this is a terrible, terrible thing you've done. 105 00:04:50,355 --> 00:04:51,379 Well... 106 00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:54,550 It's terrible. Just terrible. 107 00:04:55,193 --> 00:04:57,627 And the longer you put it off, the worse it's gonna get. 108 00:04:57,763 --> 00:05:00,357 I just... I fell in love with these kids, 109 00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:03,230 and I didn't want to see them fall victim to the system. 110 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:04,360 So I made them a promise. 111 00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:07,337 I told them that if they graduated from high school, 112 00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:10,500 I would pay for their college education. 113 00:05:10,575 --> 00:05:14,170 I have made some empty promises in my life, 114 00:05:14,246 --> 00:05:16,771 but hands down, that was the most generous. 115 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,110 Just tell me it is going to be okay, all right? 116 00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:20,208 No! 117 00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:23,118 I'm not a bad-news person. I bring good news, 118 00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:25,520 like when I promised those kids I'd pay for college. 119 00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:29,024 Okay. All right. 120 00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:30,425 You have to tell them. 121 00:05:31,363 --> 00:05:35,265 Would you come with me? You know, like old times? Instead of... 122 00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:39,871 I can print out a new itinerary with Pam's name on it. 123 00:05:40,372 --> 00:05:42,306 It's fine. Erin, you're gonna go, 124 00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:44,239 and you're gonna make sure Michael tells the truth. 125 00:05:44,309 --> 00:05:47,335 Oh, God. You know what? Could this day get any worse? 126 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:51,009 Hey, Jimmy, what's up? 127 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,141 Not much. 128 00:05:52,217 --> 00:05:55,380 Cool. Very cool. I bet if you tried, 129 00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:58,988 you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office. 130 00:05:59,057 --> 00:06:00,217 Thanks, Dwight. 131 00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:01,691 That laugh is so infectious. 132 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,024 You're creeping me out. I'm gonna go. 133 00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:06,326 I didn't mean any of those things I just said. 134 00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:09,993 And you can expect the same thing from everyone in this office 135 00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:13,367 if you don't nip this whole Employee of the Month situation in the bud. 136 00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:15,668 Make it about the work. 137 00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,606 Let me guess. You think you should get it. 138 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:21,236 This encompasses all available data. 139 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:25,880 Hours, tardiness, unconfirmed sick days, participation. 140 00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:28,712 Everyone has been assigned a random number 141 00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:31,415 for total fairness and transparency. 142 00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:34,451 Also, this should be accompanied by a monetary prize. 143 00:06:34,526 --> 00:06:36,221 Well, in an ideal world... In an ideal world 144 00:06:36,294 --> 00:06:38,023 I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand, 145 00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:40,030 so my right hand could just be a fist for punching. 146 00:06:40,098 --> 00:06:41,497 Okay. If it's all the same to you, 147 00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:44,330 I'm just gonna take away survival skills and self-defense. 148 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,598 I'm gonna run this by Toby and Accounting 149 00:06:46,671 --> 00:06:48,161 and have them assemble the data. 150 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,140 It's okay, I'll do it. 151 00:06:54,479 --> 00:06:55,810 Mr. Scott? 152 00:06:56,982 --> 00:07:00,042 Hey! Mikela Lasker! How are you? 153 00:07:00,118 --> 00:07:01,142 I'm good. 154 00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:02,447 Good to see you. Where's your saxophone? 155 00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,113 It's in the music room, Mr. Scott. 156 00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,157 Eighth-grade graduation, she gave a rendition 157 00:07:06,224 --> 00:07:08,852 of When the Saints Go Marching In that would blow your freaking mind. 158 00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:09,916 Wow. 159 00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,019 Well, you didn't even hear it. 160 00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,121 Everyone's so excited that you're here today. 161 00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:14,187 Oh, good. Now, 162 00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:16,166 I know you probably want to see everyone, 163 00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:18,498 but I was wondering if I could ask you some questions first. 164 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:19,969 Sure. You're famous. 165 00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:22,370 I'm sure you remember this place. Oh, yeah. 166 00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:23,465 Do you want to go in? 167 00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:24,770 No, not at all. Nope. Come on. 168 00:07:27,546 --> 00:07:29,241 You know what? You know, I shouldn't go in there. 169 00:07:29,314 --> 00:07:30,576 I'm pretty busy. I shouldn't... 170 00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:33,117 We just want to say thanks. 171 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:41,586 Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott! 172 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:42,649 Mr. Scott! 173 00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,962 Mr. Scott, I know you're a busy man 174 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:47,862 and your schedule moves around a lot, 175 00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:51,728 but for all your generosity through the years, your tots, 176 00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:53,627 who are ready to graduate, 177 00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:56,970 thought it was time to give you a proper thank you. 178 00:08:04,282 --> 00:08:06,682 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 179 00:08:06,785 --> 00:08:09,219 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 180 00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:11,755 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 181 00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,121 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 182 00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:17,025 You came into our lives and made a promise That made us honest 183 00:08:17,095 --> 00:08:20,030 Made us realize We don't need to compromise 184 00:08:20,098 --> 00:08:21,656 'Cause we can have it all 185 00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:26,067 'Cause you made it possible For us to achieve the improbable 186 00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:29,265 Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey 187 00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,741 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 188 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:34,802 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 189 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,738 Wow! 190 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:49,048 Hey. So Jim thought it would be ideal... 191 00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:51,459 Hey. ...if we all pitched in... 192 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,253 So, Jim thought it would be ideal 193 00:08:53,331 --> 00:08:57,267 if we all pitched in a 20 for this whole Employee of the Month thing. 194 00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:58,495 Jim said that? 195 00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:01,562 He thought you were doing an incredible job last month. 196 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,073 Jim said that? 197 00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,267 You seem surprised. 198 00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:06,974 No, no, that makes total sense. 199 00:09:11,816 --> 00:09:14,751 Hey, buddy. So everyone... 200 00:09:17,756 --> 00:09:21,248 Five minutes ahead of schedule. Right on schedule. 201 00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,918 Politicians are always coming around, 202 00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:28,056 telling us they're gonna fix our schools, promising this and that. 203 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,066 But you, Mr. Scott, you are actually doing it! 204 00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:37,671 You have taught these kids, with hard work, that anything is possible. 205 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:41,409 You are a dream maker, and I thank you. 206 00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:46,110 I thank you. I thank you, I thank you, I thank you. 207 00:09:51,489 --> 00:09:53,218 There were a lot of times over the years 208 00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:55,384 where I was pressured to get into the drug game. 209 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:58,452 But I always thought back to my guardian angel 210 00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:00,793 and the gift that you gave me. 211 00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:03,834 So I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity 212 00:10:03,902 --> 00:10:06,302 to go to college, educate myself, 213 00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:08,532 and become the next President Obama. 214 00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,336 Oh, God. 215 00:10:16,014 --> 00:10:17,982 Okay, ladies and gentlemen, welcome. 216 00:10:18,049 --> 00:10:21,382 I know you're all very excited, but no matter who gets this, 217 00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,318 I just want to say that you guys are all 218 00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:24,912 Employees of the Month in my eyes. 219 00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:30,592 And the winner is employee number nine, and that is... 220 00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:35,456 Number nine, number nine, Jim Halpert. 221 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,659 - What? - What? 222 00:10:36,735 --> 00:10:38,669 Are you kidding me? Oh, no. 223 00:10:38,737 --> 00:10:41,205 Okay, wait. I was not... 224 00:10:42,273 --> 00:10:44,036 I did not get... 225 00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:46,737 "I did not... That was not... 226 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:48,703 "How come not..." 227 00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:49,872 Guys, listen. 228 00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,472 This was anonymous, all right? 229 00:10:51,549 --> 00:10:53,244 There's no way I could have given it to myself, 230 00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:55,513 because I didn't even know who was on here. 231 00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,680 I just gave it to the employee with the highest overall score. 232 00:10:57,756 --> 00:11:00,657 To my tally, you just won back your own parking spot, 233 00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:04,559 a vacation day, and a nice tidy quarter of $1,000 from all of us. 234 00:11:04,629 --> 00:11:06,096 Will everybody just stop for a second? 235 00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:07,722 'Cause obviously I'm not taking any of it. 236 00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:09,790 A mistake has been made and we'll figure it out. 237 00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,460 Second of all, there was no cash prize. 238 00:11:11,536 --> 00:11:12,560 Yes! 239 00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:13,865 Dwight? Yeah, you said, 240 00:11:13,938 --> 00:11:15,633 "In an ideal world, there would be a cash prize." 241 00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:17,607 Isn't that what you said? No, Dwight, I meant, 242 00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,338 yes, in a perfect world, someone would get money, but not... 243 00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:23,745 Yeah, but, in your perfect world, only you get money. 244 00:11:23,815 --> 00:11:25,510 - Yeah, that's... - Don't do this... 245 00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,517 I know, all right? Don't do... 246 00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,713 Let's put your hands together and give a warm welcome 247 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:33,690 for the man of the hour, Mr. Michael Scott. 248 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,361 Thank you. 249 00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:46,167 All right. Wow. 250 00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:51,338 I am never going to forget today. Not a chance. 251 00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:55,835 I don't think I could ever give back to you what you have given me today. 252 00:11:55,914 --> 00:11:58,678 Who here's done something stupid in their lives? 253 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:00,843 Like skipped out on study hall 254 00:12:00,919 --> 00:12:02,978 or mix up the difference between A gym and B gym, 255 00:12:03,054 --> 00:12:04,453 that sort of thing? Show of hands. 256 00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:07,013 Anybody? Yes, a bunch of you. Okay. 257 00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:11,461 Well, me, too. I've done something stupid, which I would like to share. 258 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,856 Um... 259 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,126 Should we go? 260 00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:19,568 No, no, we're okay. It's a double period. 261 00:12:20,839 --> 00:12:24,707 All right. I came here today because I promised you tuition, 262 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,939 and tuition is very valuable. 263 00:12:27,011 --> 00:12:29,741 But you know what's invaluable? 264 00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:32,078 Is intuition. You know what that is? 265 00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:36,518 That is the ability to know when something is about to happen. 266 00:12:38,189 --> 00:12:40,180 Does anybody out there have intuition? 267 00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:42,351 Know what's gonna happen next? 268 00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:45,225 Nobody? Okay. You're gonna make me say it. 269 00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:49,589 All right. I am so proud of all of you. 270 00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:55,270 Derrick and Lefervre and Ben and Ayana 271 00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:59,436 and Mikela and Nikki and Jason and... 272 00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:02,403 I'm sorry, okay, I'm sort of spacing your name. 273 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,573 I'm Zion. I'm Mikela's younger brother. 274 00:13:04,649 --> 00:13:07,311 Well, Zion, I am not going to be paying for your tuition. 275 00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,489 Which brings me to my main point, 276 00:13:12,557 --> 00:13:16,288 and that is that I will not be able to pay for anybody's tuition. 277 00:13:18,696 --> 00:13:20,323 I'm so, so sorry. 278 00:13:23,201 --> 00:13:24,225 - What? - You're kidding. 279 00:13:24,302 --> 00:13:25,633 Excuse me? 280 00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:32,473 I'm sorry. 281 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,337 Explain yourself, sir! 282 00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:38,382 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 283 00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:39,740 I'm so sorry. 284 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:40,944 You lied to us. 285 00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:45,814 Yep. I lied to myself, too. I'm not a millionaire. 286 00:13:46,791 --> 00:13:50,022 I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close, 287 00:13:50,094 --> 00:13:52,460 and then I thought maybe by the time I was 40, 288 00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:55,397 but by 40 I had less money than when I was 30. 289 00:13:55,466 --> 00:13:57,093 Maybe by my 50s, I don't know. 290 00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,296 I wanted to pay for your education. 291 00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:04,174 I really did. It was my dream. 292 00:14:04,976 --> 00:14:08,912 Some people have evil dreams, some people have selfish dreams, 293 00:14:09,113 --> 00:14:12,082 or wet dreams. My dream was in the right place. 294 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,549 You owe this to us. 295 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:15,415 Okay, hold on. Hold on. 296 00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:19,714 Now, I can't pay for your college, 297 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:24,751 but you don't have to go to class to be in class. 298 00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,865 Online courses are a viable option 299 00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:30,924 to a traditional college experience, 300 00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:33,600 and the best way to access those courses 301 00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:36,731 is with your own personal laptop, 302 00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:41,039 which is rendered useless without batteries, 303 00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:42,636 and I have one for each of you. 304 00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:51,986 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. They're lithium. 305 00:14:56,828 --> 00:15:00,855 Look, there was a big mistake, obviously, so I will fix it. Okay? 306 00:15:01,799 --> 00:15:03,061 This was your idea anyway. 307 00:15:03,134 --> 00:15:05,967 Correction. It was my idea. 308 00:15:06,037 --> 00:15:07,129 Okay. 309 00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:08,566 My idea. 310 00:15:08,973 --> 00:15:11,601 Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not even pregnant. 311 00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:14,907 Okay, for the record, I am pregnant, 312 00:15:14,979 --> 00:15:17,573 and obviously there's been some kind of a mistake, 313 00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:21,483 so why doesn't Jim just pick the next highest score on the list 314 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:22,917 and we'll move on. 315 00:15:22,987 --> 00:15:24,511 Yeah, okay. That's fair. 316 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:26,557 Excellent idea, Pam. Thank you. 317 00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:30,651 That would be employee number three, which is... 318 00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:32,453 Son of a bitch! 319 00:15:33,431 --> 00:15:35,160 Pam Halpert. - What? 320 00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,865 How is that possible? 321 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:40,996 No offense, Pam, but how the hell is that possible? 322 00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:44,404 There must be some reasonable explanation for this. 323 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:47,239 Wait, come on. I didn't miss a day, 324 00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:49,109 I came in early, I stayed late, 325 00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:51,111 and I doubled my sales last month. 326 00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:53,343 Oh, really? From what? Two to four? 327 00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:54,476 Yep. 328 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:57,486 Guys, this isn't some elaborate scam, okay? 329 00:15:57,822 --> 00:16:01,349 Hi, I have an order here for a custom cake. Jim Halpert. 330 00:16:01,592 --> 00:16:04,925 Okay. That is me, but I didn't order the cake. 331 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:07,893 Look who it is. 332 00:16:11,202 --> 00:16:12,669 He knew all along. 333 00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:14,102 I'm gonna have some cake. 334 00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:15,264 David Wallace's office. 335 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:18,309 This is Kevin Malone. Is David there? 336 00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:21,605 No, he's in his weekly staff meeting. Can I take a message? 337 00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:27,914 Tell him I'm mad at Jim 'cause he's asking us to give money to Pam. 338 00:16:28,252 --> 00:16:33,622 This is Stanley Hudson. Jim Halpert is a menace. 339 00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:38,958 It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things are getting really bad down here. 340 00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,726 Hey, Mr. Scott. 341 00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:51,004 Erin, can you give us a second? 342 00:16:51,876 --> 00:16:52,968 That was messed up what you did. 343 00:16:53,044 --> 00:16:54,568 Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. 344 00:16:54,645 --> 00:16:55,873 I know, I'm sorry. 345 00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:57,642 Who does something like that? 346 00:16:57,715 --> 00:16:59,512 Who promises that to a bunch of kids 347 00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:02,519 and then just doesn't come through like that? 348 00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:04,880 What can I do? 349 00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:06,548 You could pay for my college. 350 00:17:06,624 --> 00:17:10,458 I can give you an extra laptop battery. Not everyone took one. 351 00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:16,290 How about this? 352 00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:22,031 If you can find a way to pay for your tuition, let me buy your books, okay? 353 00:17:22,106 --> 00:17:23,164 They're expensive. 354 00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:26,210 Yeah, well, I owe you that at least, right? 355 00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:28,011 It's about $1,000. 356 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,138 Really? Wow. 357 00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:32,781 That's over $200 a year. 358 00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,750 No, $1,000 each year. 359 00:17:34,819 --> 00:17:37,481 For... Okay. Okay. 360 00:17:39,123 --> 00:17:42,684 Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write four checks for $1,000 each. 361 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,921 I'm going to date them one year apart. 362 00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,089 Now, you are to use one check a year, 363 00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:49,326 and please call me before you cash the check, 364 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,630 'cause I've got monies to move around. Yeah, yeah. 365 00:17:51,702 --> 00:17:54,193 Okay? Make it out to my Aunt Rosa. 366 00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:57,073 That's a lot of zeroes. 367 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,102 This is Jim. 368 00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:02,510 Jim, what the hell is happening there? 369 00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,571 Hey, David. Yes? 370 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:08,010 So, there was a little bit of a miscommunication here today. 371 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,714 It's been a little wild, but I am on it. 372 00:18:10,788 --> 00:18:13,848 Just so I understand, you started Employee of the Month, 373 00:18:13,925 --> 00:18:15,415 give it to yourself, 374 00:18:15,493 --> 00:18:17,757 then people complain, so you give it to your wife? 375 00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:19,228 No. Am I missing something? 376 00:18:19,297 --> 00:18:20,958 I really don't know how it happened, David. 377 00:18:21,032 --> 00:18:22,932 I know how it happened. 378 00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:33,036 Jim, I bumped you up because I thought you could make my life easier. 379 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:36,877 If you can't do that, we're gonna have a separate discussion. 380 00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:40,042 All right, it will not happen again. I promise. 381 00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:44,611 I am sorry. I am taking this out on you. 382 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:47,485 No. But things have been crazy here. 383 00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,651 You know I think you're doing a great job, right? 384 00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:52,059 What? No. Yeah. Thank you. 385 00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:55,757 Okay. We still on for dinner this weekend? 386 00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,095 What? Yes. 387 00:18:57,168 --> 00:18:59,659 Okay. See you. You're kidding me! 388 00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:01,332 Damn it! 389 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:04,665 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 390 00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:07,370 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 391 00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:10,141 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 392 00:19:10,214 --> 00:19:11,613 Please stop. 393 00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:15,517 Fifteen lives. 394 00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:19,181 I destroyed 15 young lives today. 395 00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:20,724 No. Yes. 396 00:19:21,959 --> 00:19:23,984 No, there's financial aid. 397 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,257 They could join the Army or the Navy. 398 00:19:28,332 --> 00:19:30,698 Maybe... You're, what, like, 12? 399 00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,937 The principal told me that 400 00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,705 90% of Scott's Tots are on track to graduate, 401 00:19:40,778 --> 00:19:43,975 and that's 35% higher than the rest of the school, 402 00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:47,077 so I think that if you hadn't made that promise, 403 00:19:47,151 --> 00:19:49,585 a lot of them would have dropped out, 404 00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:52,020 which is something to think about, I think. 405 00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:03,731 I think you're doing a great job. 406 00:20:04,435 --> 00:20:05,732 Really? 407 00:20:08,739 --> 00:20:09,933 What do you want from this job, 408 00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:13,272 provided the company doesn't go out of business? 409 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:16,074 Well, I've always wondered what it might be like to be an accountant. 410 00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:17,205 Really? 411 00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:18,646 Yes, but I'm terrible at math. 412 00:20:18,716 --> 00:20:21,344 Well, you know, when I hired Kevin, 413 00:20:21,852 --> 00:20:25,151 he was actually applying for a job in the warehouse. 414 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,317 Seriously? Yeah. 415 00:20:27,925 --> 00:20:30,621 I just sort of had a feeling about him. 416 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,660 Have a feeling about you, too. 417 00:20:37,802 --> 00:20:40,532 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 418 00:20:40,605 --> 00:20:43,540 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 419 00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:46,475 Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do 420 00:20:46,544 --> 00:20:48,978 What you gonna do Make our dreams come true 421 00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,035 Yeah! 422 00:20:53,584 --> 00:20:55,575 See you tomorrow, Dwight. 423 00:20:55,653 --> 00:20:57,052 Apparently. 424 00:20:57,922 --> 00:21:00,720 How's it going? Good day? Not now, temp. 425 00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:06,555 Okay. So, listen, I know about your diabolical plan. 426 00:21:08,699 --> 00:21:13,227 What? Diabolical plan? I wouldn't even know how to begin... 427 00:21:13,971 --> 00:21:16,735 I found a copy of it in the copier tray. 428 00:21:16,807 --> 00:21:18,502 So what do you want? 429 00:21:18,576 --> 00:21:20,237 I want the same thing you want. 430 00:21:20,311 --> 00:21:23,906 I want to take Jim Halpert down. I want in.