1 00:00:04,803 --> 00:00:05,895 They're back! 2 00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:08,735 Oh, yeah! 3 00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:11,207 Woo-hoo! - Jim and Pam! 4 00:00:11,276 --> 00:00:13,574 - How was Puerto Rico? Was it so romantic? - It was. 5 00:00:13,645 --> 00:00:14,634 It really was. 6 00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:15,805 Really was. 7 00:00:15,881 --> 00:00:17,712 I'm so happy for you. 8 00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:19,011 Puerto Rico was awesome. 9 00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:21,109 Oh, my gosh. The honeymoon was great. 10 00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:23,586 We met this other couple at the resort, Frank and Benny. 11 00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:25,145 We hung out with them a lot. 12 00:00:25,224 --> 00:00:28,716 Frank and Beans. Always makes her laugh. 13 00:00:29,628 --> 00:00:31,596 Frank and Beans. 14 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:35,322 Is there someone there? Who's there? 15 00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:36,925 I hear voices. Is somebody there? 16 00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,094 Yeah! 17 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:43,130 Is someone here? I can't see you because I'm blind. 18 00:00:43,208 --> 00:00:44,470 It's Jim and Pam, Michael. 19 00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:46,033 - It is? - Yeah. 20 00:00:46,111 --> 00:00:47,442 They're back? 21 00:00:50,449 --> 00:00:52,007 Pam. Nope. 22 00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:54,780 And, oh, Jim. 23 00:00:54,853 --> 00:00:56,184 Hi, Michael. 24 00:00:56,255 --> 00:01:01,090 I haven't seen you since my accident that I had when I fell... 25 00:01:01,794 --> 00:01:05,525 I fell into the pool of acid, eyes-first. 26 00:01:07,032 --> 00:01:08,090 Blind guy. 27 00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:11,869 Blind Guy McSqueezy. How do I describe it? 28 00:01:11,937 --> 00:01:14,030 It is a character I've been workshopping, 29 00:01:14,106 --> 00:01:17,633 whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. 30 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:21,507 The women in my improv class absolutely hate him. 31 00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:26,808 So, what'd you bring us? 32 00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:28,147 Some candy. 33 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,278 What else? 34 00:01:29,354 --> 00:01:30,343 That's it. 35 00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:33,186 Oh, because you spent so much on the wedding. 36 00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:38,122 It's good to be home. 37 00:02:00,185 --> 00:02:02,415 This conversation has two items on the agenda. 38 00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:03,716 Did we have a conversation scheduled? 39 00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:06,758 Number one, do not leave your things on my desk. 40 00:02:06,825 --> 00:02:09,521 It's not some kind of personal pen receptacle for you. 41 00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:11,290 I don't care how high they promote you. 42 00:02:11,363 --> 00:02:14,093 Which brings me to item number two. 43 00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:16,498 I never formally congratulated you on your promotion, 44 00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:20,868 so I'd just like to say congratulations. 45 00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:26,038 Wow. That's really thoughtful of you, Dwight. Thank you. 46 00:02:26,111 --> 00:02:27,135 You're welcome. 47 00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:31,242 I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. 48 00:02:31,717 --> 00:02:35,585 Now I can observe Jim, track Jim, and destroy Jim. 49 00:02:35,654 --> 00:02:37,383 Just like in the Bavarian fairytale. 50 00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:41,790 Only this time the mallard skins the toad alive. 51 00:02:43,228 --> 00:02:44,217 And, of course, in this version, 52 00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:46,958 you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing. 53 00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:50,991 I'm sorry to have been bugging you all these years. 54 00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:53,595 It's a real handsome duck. 55 00:02:53,672 --> 00:02:54,696 Mallard. 56 00:02:54,773 --> 00:02:56,832 Okay, I'll get out of your hair. 57 00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:04,440 Hey. Hey. 58 00:03:04,516 --> 00:03:06,416 We brought back some Puerto Rican candy. 59 00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:08,578 Coco-Leche. That's my favorite. Awesome. 60 00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:10,383 I'll leave it up here so everyone can enjoy it. 61 00:03:10,455 --> 00:03:13,720 Oh, let me just check with Michael first. 62 00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,885 I think it'll be okay. 63 00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:18,759 I think it will, too, but I'll just check with him, though. 64 00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:19,819 Great. 65 00:03:19,898 --> 00:03:22,423 Oops. Sorry. Oops! 66 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:33,401 I have recently taken a lover. 67 00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:36,072 Well, that's great. Congratulations. 68 00:03:36,682 --> 00:03:37,944 Who's the lucky lady? 69 00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:39,244 Pam's mom. 70 00:03:40,786 --> 00:03:43,254 What? Pam's mom, Helene. 71 00:03:43,322 --> 00:03:44,550 Remember, from your wedding? 72 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:47,058 You're messing with me. About what? 73 00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:48,854 You did not have sex with Pam's mom. 74 00:03:48,927 --> 00:03:49,951 Oh, big time. 75 00:03:50,028 --> 00:03:51,017 What kind of car does she drive? 76 00:03:51,096 --> 00:03:52,654 She drives a green Camry, 77 00:03:52,731 --> 00:03:55,495 And the seats go all the way down. 78 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,556 All the way down. 79 00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:57,897 Oh, my God. 80 00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:00,026 Oh, my God. 81 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:01,732 What? 82 00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:04,367 Okay, never tell Pam, and then, secondly... 83 00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,934 Good. A pact. A pact. 84 00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:08,206 Although, I may have to break it tonight, 85 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,181 when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner. 86 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,308 You all right? 87 00:04:12,384 --> 00:04:13,408 Oh, my God. 88 00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:15,510 Hey, Jim... Not now, Toby. My God! 89 00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:17,521 Jesus. Get the hell out of here, idiot! 90 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,647 What did I do? 91 00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:21,249 Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that, 92 00:04:21,326 --> 00:04:23,317 and please, for both of our sakes, 93 00:04:23,395 --> 00:04:27,195 never, ever, ever see her again. 94 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,166 I think you're underestimating Pam. 95 00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,668 I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy. 96 00:04:31,737 --> 00:04:33,637 No. Not more than anything. 97 00:04:33,705 --> 00:04:34,967 Okay. I... 98 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,031 I have a good thing with the mom. Don't call her "the mom." 99 00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:38,440 She's right on my way home from work. 100 00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:39,875 Then take a different way home, man! 101 00:04:39,945 --> 00:04:43,278 All right, I'll take surface streets. 102 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:46,240 The last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam. 103 00:04:46,318 --> 00:04:47,808 Okay. So, we're good. 104 00:04:47,886 --> 00:04:48,978 Yeah. 105 00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:55,852 Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two? 106 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,191 Sure. Is it okay if I put out some candy 107 00:04:58,263 --> 00:04:59,787 that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico? 108 00:04:59,865 --> 00:05:01,856 Sure. Thanks for asking. 109 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:03,491 Pam, we're all set. 110 00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:10,434 Yum. 111 00:05:12,811 --> 00:05:13,800 Frank and Beans! 112 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:15,437 Frank and Beans! 113 00:05:16,548 --> 00:05:18,846 So, what'd we decide for Michael? 114 00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:21,715 The bottle of rum or the seashell alarm clock? 115 00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:24,722 You know what, can I have the weekend to decide? 116 00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,553 Bottle of rum it is. 117 00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:29,752 All right, shall we? You know what? 118 00:05:29,828 --> 00:05:32,626 I am really slammed trying to catch up on everything here, 119 00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,757 and I know that Michael's slammed, too, 120 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:38,769 so maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy. 121 00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:44,074 Come on, it'll take two seconds. 122 00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:45,575 No, it... 123 00:06:07,766 --> 00:06:10,257 Oh, wow. 124 00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:13,870 That is amazing. I feel like a real Puerto Rican. 125 00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:15,270 Michael, you're all set at Botticelli's. 126 00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:16,830 I changed the reservation to two people. 127 00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:18,273 Erin, look. 128 00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:20,008 Fun. - Yeah. 129 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,180 Wow, Botticelli's. That sounds like a special occasion. 130 00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:26,080 Yeah, no, it's nobody. 131 00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,812 I don't know. I think Michael has a date. 132 00:06:29,888 --> 00:06:31,549 No. Yeah, I think you have a date. 133 00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:33,284 I don't, I don't. Come on. 134 00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:34,950 Ah, I think we should just drop it. 135 00:06:35,026 --> 00:06:37,586 Because obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. 136 00:06:37,662 --> 00:06:39,425 I don't deserve this, guys. - Yes, you do. 137 00:06:39,498 --> 00:06:41,830 No, I don't. Just take the parrot. 138 00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:45,459 Okay, back to the old grind. 139 00:06:45,537 --> 00:06:47,437 I was probably going to break up with her anyway. 140 00:06:47,506 --> 00:06:49,201 Oh! That's too bad. Don't. 141 00:06:49,274 --> 00:06:50,969 Pam, it is very complicated. 142 00:06:51,042 --> 00:06:52,236 There are a lot of moving parts here. 143 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,470 Sounds complicated. 144 00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:55,706 Yeah, but, I mean, if you really like this person, 145 00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:57,476 then you should see where it goes. 146 00:06:57,549 --> 00:06:58,607 You want me to be happy? 147 00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:00,310 Of course. 148 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:04,754 Part of the problem is she's the mother of a close friend of mine. 149 00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:06,281 Oh. 150 00:07:06,358 --> 00:07:08,792 More than a friend. A coworker. 151 00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:11,860 Oh, gossip. Who is it? 152 00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:15,932 Who is it? 153 00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:19,599 Who is it, Michael? 154 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:23,907 Who? 155 00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:25,033 It's okay. 156 00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:28,637 No, no, no, no, no. 157 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:33,212 No. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 158 00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:35,879 No! 159 00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:38,414 That could have gone one of two ways, 160 00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,981 but I never expected her to get upset. 161 00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:51,429 You seem tense. Hey, you want me to give you the chills? 162 00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:54,331 Okay. 163 00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:03,847 There's an egg on your head And the yolk is running down 164 00:08:03,915 --> 00:08:05,007 The yolk is running down 165 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:06,141 Feels good. 166 00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:09,551 There's a knife in your back And the blood is gushing down 167 00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:12,419 Sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes dinner. 168 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:17,558 The blood is gushing down The blood is gushing down 169 00:08:18,864 --> 00:08:20,991 You know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up 170 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,397 that you were into dating mothers. 171 00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,765 I would have introduced you to mine. 172 00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:28,067 How could you do this to me? He's my boss. 173 00:08:28,707 --> 00:08:31,904 How many times have I complained about him to you? 174 00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:35,441 No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy! 175 00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:40,544 Who wants a hot chocolate? 176 00:08:40,619 --> 00:08:42,052 Thank you. 177 00:08:45,991 --> 00:08:49,586 So, Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. 178 00:08:49,661 --> 00:08:52,129 I found a recording device in it. 179 00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:57,057 Yes. So, I think if I play it just right, 180 00:08:57,602 --> 00:09:01,163 I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure. 181 00:09:01,239 --> 00:09:05,300 You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother, too, now. 182 00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:10,113 Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott. 183 00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:15,419 Andy, can I talk to you for a second? 184 00:09:15,487 --> 00:09:17,318 Sure thing, Tuna boss. 185 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,899 How may I be of service to you? 186 00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:34,000 I am going to need your advice. 187 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,417 I was thinking of getting this opera for Dwight's birthday. 188 00:09:49,487 --> 00:09:51,182 What do you think? 189 00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,493 This aria is a joke. Really? 190 00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:57,823 What are you thinking? 191 00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:01,791 I was going to go with this one. 192 00:10:01,866 --> 00:10:04,664 Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, 193 00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:07,204 you will get him something better. 194 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,104 Nard-Dog, what was that all about? 195 00:10:13,178 --> 00:10:14,440 I know, right? 196 00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:15,979 What were you guys talking about in there? 197 00:10:16,047 --> 00:10:18,515 Trust me, it would only make you mad. 198 00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:33,263 Due to a certain recent incident, 199 00:10:33,331 --> 00:10:36,027 corporate has asked all the branches to come up with ideas 200 00:10:36,101 --> 00:10:40,595 as to how we can better communicate with our communities. 201 00:10:40,672 --> 00:10:44,164 Is this because of the 60 Minutes segment about working conditions 202 00:10:44,242 --> 00:10:45,300 in our Peruvian paper mill? 203 00:10:45,377 --> 00:10:46,935 That was a hit job. 204 00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:50,539 If you read the Dunder Mifflin press release, it clearly states 205 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:53,083 that they had absolutely nothing to do 206 00:10:53,151 --> 00:10:55,210 with that particular cancer cluster. 207 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:58,118 So, if there is a lesson to be learned here, 208 00:10:58,189 --> 00:10:59,884 and I'm not sure that there is, 209 00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:02,654 it is that in order to help our communities, 210 00:11:02,727 --> 00:11:05,525 we need to put other people's needs ahead of our own. 211 00:11:06,698 --> 00:11:09,895 And whoever comes up with the best idea gets a $50 gift certificate 212 00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:11,868 to the restaurant of his or her choice. 213 00:11:11,936 --> 00:11:13,767 Yeah. - Good, good. 214 00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:17,706 Okay, who wants to help the world one step at a time? 215 00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:19,301 All right, good. 216 00:11:19,377 --> 00:11:20,401 Volunteerism is important. 217 00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:22,707 Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, 218 00:11:22,781 --> 00:11:24,749 and they need a lot of help down there. 219 00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:27,546 Last Sunday, I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself. 220 00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:28,745 All right, that's... 221 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:31,288 Paint a mural of Chicano leaders. All right. 222 00:11:31,356 --> 00:11:34,519 I have a way to make Scranton a better place. You could leave it. 223 00:11:35,794 --> 00:11:37,989 Okay, I'm out of here. See you later, guys. 224 00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:39,553 And stay out. Bye-bye. 225 00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:43,061 Okay. Oh, no, here's an idea. Conservation. 226 00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:45,034 I love it, conservation. 227 00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:47,663 Let's start by conserving our time 228 00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:49,866 and stop having these stupid meetings. 229 00:11:50,842 --> 00:11:54,107 No more meetings! No more meetings! 230 00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:57,376 No more meetings! No more meetings! 231 00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:00,909 Anybody else? Who else has an idea? 232 00:12:00,985 --> 00:12:02,976 - I have some ideas about conservation. - Yes. 233 00:12:03,054 --> 00:12:04,214 Angela. Thank you. 234 00:12:05,356 --> 00:12:07,153 Please. Can you hold down the fort? 235 00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:09,557 Hey, boo. ANGELA: Well, first of all, I think that we could... 236 00:12:09,627 --> 00:12:10,616 Why are you crying? 237 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,253 Yes, I think we should look into that. 238 00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:14,389 If you could just speak up louder. 239 00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:15,694 - Well, for our profit and loss... - No, no. 240 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:21,429 No, I'll talk to her. I will. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Uh-uh. 241 00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:25,641 Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. All right. Bye, pickle. 242 00:12:26,478 --> 00:12:28,605 - Who's pickle? - Who's pickle? 243 00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:30,741 Pamela Morgan Beesly. 244 00:12:30,815 --> 00:12:33,409 You need to apologize to your mother right now. 245 00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:35,919 I'm sorry, I was told I had the floor. Yes. 246 00:12:35,987 --> 00:12:37,284 Hold on, hold on. What's going on? 247 00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:38,413 Nothing. 248 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,924 Nothing at all. It's all good. 249 00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:45,691 I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes me an apology. 250 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,629 For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? 251 00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,394 Don't call my mother your lover. 252 00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:51,968 Oh, yes! That's what I'm talking about. 253 00:12:52,036 --> 00:12:53,663 That is not okay, dude. 254 00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:54,966 All right, in my defense... 255 00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:56,836 Disgusting. That's messed up, man. 256 00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:59,308 Yes, thank you. Welcome to my personal hell. 257 00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:01,641 You have no sense of boundaries, Michael. Shut up, Oscar. 258 00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:04,045 Hey, all right, you know what? Clearly, I'm outnumbered here. 259 00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:07,482 But can I just say one thing? Please? 260 00:13:08,353 --> 00:13:10,412 What is so wrong about me? 261 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:13,685 I'm caring, I'm generous. 262 00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:17,260 I'm sensual. 263 00:13:17,996 --> 00:13:24,424 Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness? 264 00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:32,803 Good luck, Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for. 265 00:13:32,877 --> 00:13:34,071 Maybe you're right. Who are we to... 266 00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:35,237 Shut up, Oscar! 267 00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:36,746 What is wrong with all of you? 268 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,249 He is sleeping with my mother! 269 00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:41,581 I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on. 270 00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:43,951 Let's get back to the matter at hand. 271 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:45,387 Whatever, you know. 272 00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:47,447 Sleep with my mom, just sleep with everybody's mom. 273 00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:48,514 No, no, no, no, no... No. 274 00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:50,527 This is not... RYAN: Whoa! That's my mom you're talking about. 275 00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:51,892 I don't like the tone here. 276 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:54,488 This is a place of business. You are to listen to others, 277 00:13:54,566 --> 00:13:55,999 you are to give others respect, 278 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:58,160 and you are to keep your personal issues out of it. 279 00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:00,602 Oh, my God! You are ridiculous! 280 00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,936 Do not talk to me that way! 281 00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:06,568 I am your boss and I may someday be your father, so get out. 282 00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:09,772 You are never going to be my father. You get out. 283 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:13,784 I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am. 284 00:14:14,252 --> 00:14:15,514 Me, too. 285 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:20,684 Hey. Hey. 286 00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:23,292 Pam, how's your day going? 287 00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:26,387 Pam, just for the record, I think you're overreacting a little bit. 288 00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:28,455 Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions. 289 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,728 Oh, well, thanks, Oscar. 290 00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:32,167 I was just wondering, how would you feel 291 00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,966 if Michael was sleeping with your mom? 292 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,165 My mother's in a wheelchair. 293 00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,574 Well, he could still... 294 00:14:40,511 --> 00:14:42,342 I'm sorry about that. 295 00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:46,547 Could I just get you to sign the second page as well? 296 00:14:46,618 --> 00:14:49,212 Ryan, I have to ask you a personal question. 297 00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:51,050 Do you think that I should get a fedora? 298 00:14:51,122 --> 00:14:53,090 I don't think so, no. 299 00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:54,821 Why? I think I'd look really hot in one. 300 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,121 Where did you get your fedora? 301 00:14:56,194 --> 00:14:57,388 I'd rather not say. 302 00:14:57,462 --> 00:14:59,794 You think I'm going to get the same fedora as you? 303 00:14:59,864 --> 00:15:01,024 Hey, Dwight. Shh! 304 00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,260 Natural look. KELLY: I think I would look really cute in it. 305 00:15:03,334 --> 00:15:04,858 It has to go with the persona that you already have. 306 00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:06,164 Well, I think I have that persona. 307 00:15:06,237 --> 00:15:07,397 Where did you get that mallard? 308 00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:08,461 What the hell is a mallard? 309 00:15:08,539 --> 00:15:09,870 That! 310 00:15:10,408 --> 00:15:13,400 Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck. Jim gave him to me. 311 00:15:13,478 --> 00:15:15,946 Okay, I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back. 312 00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:17,777 If you take it back, I'll scream. 313 00:15:20,184 --> 00:15:21,310 I'll give you five bucks for it. 314 00:15:21,386 --> 00:15:22,717 Twenty. 315 00:15:22,787 --> 00:15:24,152 Ten. Deal. 316 00:15:28,626 --> 00:15:30,093 You're so cool. 317 00:15:30,161 --> 00:15:33,289 This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas. 318 00:15:34,599 --> 00:15:35,896 Hey, Toby, can I talk to you for a minute? 319 00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:36,991 Yeah, sure. 320 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,933 What's up? I just wanted to apologize 321 00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,937 for taking that tone with you earlier. 322 00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:43,200 That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. 323 00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:47,005 Yeah. That means a lot. Thank you for saying it. 324 00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:48,067 Can I sit down for a second? 325 00:15:48,146 --> 00:15:49,135 Yeah, or pull up a chair, 326 00:15:49,213 --> 00:15:50,510 or you can sit on the shredder. 327 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,780 This is going to sound weird, 328 00:15:57,355 --> 00:16:00,791 but I think I may be the victim of a hostile work environment 329 00:16:00,858 --> 00:16:02,655 with this whole Pam situation. 330 00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:05,457 You should probably deal with that outside of the workplace. 331 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,088 She brought it into the workplace, 332 00:16:07,165 --> 00:16:09,463 so I feel like it has to be dealt with here. 333 00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:12,503 Yeah. Okay, well, I mean, I could talk to her. 334 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,559 Really? Yeah. 335 00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:15,367 Would you do that? Yeah. 336 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,704 That's why they pay me the big bucks. 337 00:16:22,246 --> 00:16:24,214 You're a good, good guy. 338 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:26,107 Okay. 339 00:16:26,184 --> 00:16:29,119 You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, 340 00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:30,677 we'd become friends. 341 00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:34,958 Hey, Pam, could I talk to you for a sec? 342 00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:38,429 Sure. What's up? 343 00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:42,432 Well, I was hoping that maybe in light of everything that's happened today, 344 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,094 it would be a good idea if you and me and Michael 345 00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:48,036 head into the conference room for some conflict resolution. 346 00:16:48,106 --> 00:16:49,573 What's the matter? Can't fight your own battles? 347 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,200 No, that's... 348 00:16:52,276 --> 00:16:54,506 Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off, you know? 349 00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:56,444 Oh, would that make you feel better? 350 00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:59,142 I don't... I can't hear your conversation. 351 00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:02,118 You can tell Michael that I'm not leaving. 352 00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,088 Buddy, I think that you can't make her leave... 353 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,684 Yeah, yeah, okay, you're a jackass. 354 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:14,391 Hey, hey, you know what? You're just as stubborn as your mother. 355 00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:16,092 When you don't want to do something, you just don't do it. 356 00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,066 Michael, you're just her rebound! 357 00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:20,968 You were right, Jim, I should have listened to you. 358 00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,973 Should never have told her. 359 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,770 What? You knew? 360 00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:29,905 Barely. I... I don't have all the facts. 361 00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:33,147 Frank and Beans. 362 00:17:35,987 --> 00:17:38,785 Okay, do you want me to stop dating your mom? 363 00:17:38,856 --> 00:17:41,290 Is that how we're going to get past this? Because I will. 364 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,725 Hmm. Yes. 365 00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:45,194 Well, that is not going to happen. 366 00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,560 Then why did you even offer? 367 00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:49,498 Because I assumed that you want me to be happy, 368 00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,092 because I want you to be happy. 369 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,900 Michael, let me make this very easy for you. 370 00:17:54,972 --> 00:17:58,965 I could give a About your happiness. Stop dating my mother! 371 00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:02,840 You know what? I'm going to start dating her even harder. 372 00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:04,074 What's that supposed to mean? 373 00:18:04,148 --> 00:18:05,581 You know what it means. 374 00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:12,547 Hey. Shut it. 375 00:18:12,623 --> 00:18:13,783 Yep. 376 00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:17,223 I don't need to be friends with Pam. 377 00:18:17,295 --> 00:18:19,092 I have plenty of female friends. 378 00:18:19,163 --> 00:18:25,329 My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt, although she just blocked me on IM. 379 00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:29,966 What's-her-face from Quiznos. I see her four times a week. 380 00:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,072 Dwight, you brought the mallard back. 381 00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:41,050 Well, I had to. I mean, Kelly was not... 382 00:18:41,352 --> 00:18:42,717 Hi, buddy. 383 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,767 I'm sorry. A wooden duck? 384 00:18:57,835 --> 00:19:03,205 Mallard. I put it in your office in order to surveil you. 385 00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:07,037 I was jealous that you got the promotion over me. 386 00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:09,875 Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this. 387 00:19:09,947 --> 00:19:11,812 And you're not equipped for espionage. I'm equipped... 388 00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:13,145 Stop. 389 00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:15,274 Don't tell Michael. 390 00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:16,445 I won't. 391 00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:19,012 But you will wash and buff our car. 392 00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:22,150 Punishment fits the crime. I accept. 393 00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:26,888 Good night, everyone. Night, Pam. 394 00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:29,792 Thanks again for the rum. 395 00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:33,832 Good night, Michael. Good night, Erin. 396 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,702 Hey, Pam, can I see you for a second? 397 00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:45,812 So, Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, 398 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:48,681 so he generously offered to wash our car. 399 00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:51,744 Aw, he did that for me? 400 00:19:51,822 --> 00:19:53,687 Yes, he did. 401 00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:57,457 You know what was nice? 402 00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:59,553 Night swimming in Biobay. 403 00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:02,792 Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam? 404 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,027 Yeah. 405 00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:08,269 Say more nice things. 406 00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:12,241 Well, we went on a Segway tour, and we're awesome at it. 407 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,777 Yes, we are. 408 00:20:13,844 --> 00:20:16,176 And Frank and Beans. 409 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:20,675 Maybe I'm overreacting. 410 00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:22,548 Yeah, maybe. 411 00:20:23,788 --> 00:20:24,812 But I don't think I am. 412 00:20:24,889 --> 00:20:26,789 You're not, nope. 413 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:29,051 Nope. 414 00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:34,628 Oh! Where did you get that hat? 415 00:20:34,699 --> 00:20:35,893 I'd rather not say. 416 00:20:59,624 --> 00:21:02,388 We have our high quality 28-pound bond, 417 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:06,988 our heavier 38-pound bond, or our... 418 00:21:07,832 --> 00:21:09,925 I've got eight hours of this. 419 00:21:11,902 --> 00:21:15,929 Of course I wanted Jim to find the mallard. Make him feel safe. 420 00:21:16,007 --> 00:21:19,374 Did you really think I would put my primary listening device 421 00:21:19,443 --> 00:21:20,910 in a wooden mallard? 422 00:21:22,113 --> 00:21:23,637 I'm not insane. 423 00:21:25,016 --> 00:21:27,746 Fifty-five pound cover stock, which is the heaviest paper 424 00:21:27,818 --> 00:21:30,013 that will still feed smoothly through your desktop printer.