1 00:00:07,606 --> 00:00:08,766 Parkour! 2 00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,341 Michael. Parkour! Parkour! 3 00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:14,839 Extreme. - Parkour! 4 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,414 This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004, 5 00:00:19,618 --> 00:00:22,086 and it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. 6 00:00:22,154 --> 00:00:25,715 The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible. 7 00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:27,520 So technically they are doing parkour, 8 00:00:27,593 --> 00:00:31,051 as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital. 9 00:00:33,532 --> 00:00:35,090 Parkour! 10 00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:41,533 Yeah, parkour! 11 00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:43,274 Andy, leap frog. Go, go! 12 00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:45,536 Do me! Do me! Yeah. Okay. Yeah. 13 00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:46,635 Parkour! Parkour! 14 00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,646 Get off! Get off! Okay. 15 00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:49,703 Parkour! 16 00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:53,775 Parkour! Jump over the camera. 17 00:00:54,086 --> 00:00:55,314 Jump over the camera. 18 00:00:57,222 --> 00:00:59,520 Okay, we all go together, or we go one at a time. 19 00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:04,221 Here it is. Here it is. Truck to refrigerators to dumpster, 20 00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:07,888 360 spin onto the palettes, back flip, gainer into the trashcan. 21 00:01:07,966 --> 00:01:09,900 Yeah, gainer! Yeah, yeah, yeah! 22 00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,402 Parkour, parkour! Parkour, parkour! 23 00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:13,733 I'm right behind you, Andy. Come on! 24 00:01:13,806 --> 00:01:16,036 Let's do it! Yeah! 25 00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:20,704 Parkour. 26 00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:45,459 Good. 27 00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:48,795 Excellent. 28 00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:51,400 Thank you. 29 00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:54,172 Here you go. Is there anything else I can do? 30 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,782 Yes. 31 00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:06,649 See those files behind Kevin's desk? Mmm-hmm. 32 00:02:06,725 --> 00:02:08,716 Go put them all in random order. 33 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:09,783 Okay. 34 00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:13,228 Then come back here for your next assignment concerning their order. 35 00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:17,434 This is the last day of our summer interns. It's been nice. 36 00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:18,800 We haven't had interns in a while. 37 00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:22,338 Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. 38 00:02:22,474 --> 00:02:23,839 He didn't do anything sexual. 39 00:02:24,042 --> 00:02:26,875 He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. 40 00:02:27,646 --> 00:02:30,240 It was just easier for corporate to shut down the program. 41 00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:35,345 Think she did him? I bet there's something there. 42 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:36,921 I was with them in the kitchen yesterday, 43 00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:39,116 and they were all too happy to be cleaning the freezer. 44 00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,590 If they get married before I do, I'm going to kill myself. 45 00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,857 Who's getting married? Nobody. 46 00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:46,521 If somebody doesn't tell me, I'm gonna start screaming. 47 00:02:46,598 --> 00:02:48,361 It's Eric and Megan. Oh! 48 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:49,957 Hey, I hired them. 49 00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:51,430 Matchmaker. 50 00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:53,799 This place is like Spaniard fly. 51 00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,033 They're not getting married. It's just talk. 52 00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,700 Did everybody know about this but me? 53 00:02:57,776 --> 00:02:59,744 There's nothing to know. It's just gossip. 54 00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,242 Okay. Okay. 55 00:03:04,349 --> 00:03:05,941 We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant. 56 00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:09,283 What with her being unmarried, knocked up by some guy. 57 00:03:09,354 --> 00:03:11,788 The yakety-yaks in this office would have a field day. 58 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,619 Yeah, and we don't want them at the wedding thinking 59 00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:16,717 Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun. 60 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,325 Wait, there's not going to be a shotgun? 61 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:20,422 Nope. 62 00:03:20,499 --> 00:03:23,161 No shotgun? Because that changes everything. 63 00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:24,699 Can't back out now, Halpert. 64 00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:28,530 What are you going to do about it? There's no shotgun, so, 65 00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:32,135 free at last, free at last. 66 00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:34,437 No, keep it up. 67 00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:37,070 You'll never guess what I know. 68 00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:39,083 Okay. Let me finish this thought. 69 00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:41,018 Eric likes Megan. 70 00:03:42,287 --> 00:03:43,549 He most definitely does. 71 00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:45,713 He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. 72 00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:48,726 She finally said yes. They went out on a group date the other night. 73 00:03:48,794 --> 00:03:50,159 Apparently it went very well. 74 00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,154 How do you know this? People tell me things. 75 00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,200 I guess I have a face you can trust. 76 00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:57,258 I think it's because of my low cheek bones. 77 00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:01,833 And boom. Okay, what is it? What can't I guess? 78 00:04:02,874 --> 00:04:05,502 I hate, hate, hate being left out. 79 00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:10,305 Whether it's not being picked for a team or being picked for a team 80 00:04:10,382 --> 00:04:13,545 and then showing up and realizing that the team doesn't exist, 81 00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:16,487 or that the sport doesn't exist. 82 00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,313 I should have known. Poopball? 83 00:04:20,592 --> 00:04:23,493 Oh, man, I know how you feel. Third wheel. 84 00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:26,759 I have been the third wheel so many times in my life. 85 00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:29,593 My mom told me something once that made me feel a lot better. 86 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:33,764 She said, "The third wheel is what makes it a tricycle." 87 00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:35,130 What are you talking about? 88 00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:37,471 I am talking about your group date with Megan and Eric. 89 00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:38,770 At Tinks? Yes. 90 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:40,275 How'd you know about that? Well... 91 00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:41,573 Did Stanley tell you? 92 00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,681 Stanley was on your group date? 93 00:04:44,983 --> 00:04:46,814 No. Stanley was with his wife. 94 00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:48,443 I waved at him but he didn't wave back. 95 00:04:51,056 --> 00:04:52,523 Does anybody else know about this? 96 00:04:52,591 --> 00:04:53,649 No. 97 00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:59,228 There he goes. There he goes. 98 00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:03,993 So, what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything? 99 00:05:06,171 --> 00:05:08,901 Nothing? I got a little something-something. 100 00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:10,805 I don't know if I should say. 101 00:05:11,043 --> 00:05:12,237 So just keep it to yourself, then. 102 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,506 Stanley is having a midlife crisis. 103 00:05:14,579 --> 00:05:16,774 Stanley is way past the middle of his life, 104 00:05:16,848 --> 00:05:18,577 especially considering his height-to-weight ratio. 105 00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:21,210 Well, apparently, he and his wife 106 00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:23,914 were out dancing at a club for young people. 107 00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:25,581 Teri's out of town, Michael. 108 00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:27,850 Who? Stanley's wife, Teri. 109 00:05:27,926 --> 00:05:30,759 She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly. 110 00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:35,729 And Stanley hates crowds, kids and music. I think you should check your facts. 111 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:46,340 You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up. 112 00:05:46,511 --> 00:05:47,500 What are you talking about? 113 00:05:47,579 --> 00:05:49,206 Stanley's wife is out of town. 114 00:05:49,281 --> 00:05:50,270 He was with somebody. 115 00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:51,407 He was definitely with someone. 116 00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:54,007 Oh! Was he? Well, who? His sister? 117 00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:56,513 I don't get it! 118 00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:59,819 If that was his sister, then what they were doing was totally illegal. 119 00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,015 Drugs? 120 00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:04,622 Making out. 121 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:11,700 Okay. 122 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,899 Okay. No, it's okay. 123 00:06:18,844 --> 00:06:20,004 Never mind. Carry on. 124 00:06:20,479 --> 00:06:22,140 Stanley is having an affair. 125 00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:23,507 What? I know. 126 00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:28,517 I am very happy right now, thrilled perhaps, to be a part of the office, 127 00:06:28,587 --> 00:06:30,248 to be a part of the conversation. 128 00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:33,951 When you have somebody's attention, and their eyes are lighting up 129 00:06:34,025 --> 00:06:36,789 because they are very interested in what you have to say, 130 00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,022 that is a great feeling. 131 00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:40,462 And I experienced that firsthand today. 132 00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:43,660 It is wonderful to be the center of attention. 133 00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:46,067 That and that are the same letter. 134 00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:47,799 Q. 135 00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:49,670 No. No. 136 00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,470 Okay. He's holding a pencil. 137 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:54,044 He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil. 138 00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:57,774 What's that letter, right there? Same letter here and here. 139 00:06:57,883 --> 00:06:59,578 What haven't you guessed? T. 140 00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:04,551 T! Yes! Yes! That is a T. 141 00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:09,559 And there's another one right there. Just sound that out. You're almost there. 142 00:07:10,462 --> 00:07:13,727 Hey, Stanley, where are you going, big guy? Up to no good? 143 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,857 I'm meeting a client. Do you have a problem with that? 144 00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:19,131 No, no, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you. 145 00:07:19,204 --> 00:07:24,005 I'm casting a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance, beautiful woman. 146 00:07:24,075 --> 00:07:25,201 Do you know anybody? 147 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:26,668 Goodbye. 148 00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:29,737 Pays 5 million dollars. Nudity required. 149 00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:31,340 You have to stop this. 150 00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:33,407 Did you hear that Stanley's having an affair? 151 00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:36,079 I did. From you. You got to stop telling people. 152 00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:39,783 Okay. I get it. You feel out of the loop and you feel sorry for yourself, 153 00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:42,019 and it's really sad because everybody thinks you're a loser. 154 00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:44,254 Do you even know if it's true? Do you have any idea? 155 00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:46,923 Because you might be ruining his life. 156 00:07:53,171 --> 00:07:55,867 Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! No, no, no, no! 157 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:59,169 It's time to stop being polite and get real! 158 00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,536 Stanley, you having an affair? 159 00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:06,645 That is ridiculous. Of course not. Why would you think that? 160 00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:08,913 So it's not true. Okay. Well... 161 00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:11,617 Oh! 162 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:15,353 Those interns, they told me they saw you at the club, 163 00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:17,254 and they all said it was you. 164 00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:23,029 It was clearly just racial profiling gossip. The little... 165 00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:26,229 Damn! I told her it was a stupid idea... 166 00:08:26,304 --> 00:08:28,295 It's so stupid. ...to go up in that club. 167 00:08:28,373 --> 00:08:32,070 It's just that Teri's been traveling a lot lately. 168 00:08:32,143 --> 00:08:34,634 I know. I know. It's been lonely. 169 00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:36,203 Oh, I bet. I... 170 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:38,441 Cynthia's been keeping me company. 171 00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:42,111 She was my nurse when I was in rehabilitation. 172 00:08:42,287 --> 00:08:45,723 We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill. 173 00:08:47,859 --> 00:08:49,292 I didn't intend... 174 00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,693 Wait, wait, wait. 175 00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:54,089 So it is true? 176 00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:55,928 Yeah, but Michael, I'm going to go break it off. 177 00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:57,195 That's where I'm headed right now. I swear. 178 00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:58,998 Oh, my God. Wait a second. 179 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:03,234 Do people often say they're going on sales calls and then go someplace else? 180 00:09:03,308 --> 00:09:04,332 Because that's not cool. 181 00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:09,073 I just need you to promise not to say a word about this to anyone. 182 00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:10,537 Michael, please. 183 00:09:10,615 --> 00:09:12,412 I'm not saying a damn thing. 184 00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:13,849 I'm counting on you, Michael. 185 00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:15,409 Okay. You can count on me. 186 00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:21,183 Oh, that smells good. 187 00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:24,624 Yeah, I might have extra. It just depends on how many I eat. 188 00:09:24,696 --> 00:09:26,755 Did you hear about Angela? That's pretty weird. 189 00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:30,267 Yeah. What do you mean exactly? 190 00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:35,472 Well, the fact that she apparently is dating an 81-year-old billionaire. 191 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,535 Owns a Quiznos on the turnpike. 192 00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:39,733 Really? Uh-huh. 193 00:09:40,111 --> 00:09:41,908 Right? 194 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,279 How do you un-tell something? You can't. 195 00:09:46,117 --> 00:09:48,312 You can't put words back in your mouth. 196 00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:53,085 What you can do is spread false gossip, 197 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:56,788 so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, 198 00:09:57,062 --> 00:09:59,462 including "Stanley is having an affair." 199 00:10:01,199 --> 00:10:04,896 It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, 200 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,704 and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is. 201 00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:11,770 And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit. 202 00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:14,304 - Kelly has an eating disorder? - Yes. 203 00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:15,437 She always eats my lunch. 204 00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:18,607 Anorexia. She's an anorexitic. 205 00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,043 We should do something. 206 00:10:20,118 --> 00:10:21,278 Nothing can be done. 207 00:10:21,353 --> 00:10:24,345 Just have to tell everybody and hope for the best, I guess. 208 00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:29,219 I'm worried about Erin because she's not a very good worker. 209 00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:30,818 I don't know how long she's going to last here. 210 00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:33,762 Really? Yeah. So... 211 00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:36,229 And Andy is gay. 212 00:10:36,368 --> 00:10:37,995 Andy Bernard? Mmm-hmm. 213 00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:40,736 Did you hear Pam is pregnant? 214 00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:42,804 Really? Yeah. 215 00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,103 She's going to hate being a mom. 216 00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:54,910 What? Tea. 217 00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:57,716 So? You would. 218 00:10:58,223 --> 00:11:01,522 I like tea. Oh, I bet you like it. 219 00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:06,427 Yeah. I like it a lot. I love tea. 220 00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:09,626 Do you like it as much as you like men's butts? 221 00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,737 What? Because you're gay. 222 00:11:14,706 --> 00:11:20,042 Who told you that? Was it Broccoli Rob? Someone from Chi Psi? 223 00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,240 Or did you run into someone from my high school? 224 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:26,412 This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. 225 00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:28,313 Twice before, actually. 226 00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:34,182 Just a weird coincidence. It's a little too weird. 227 00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:40,496 Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all. Whoa! 228 00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:42,865 Which it is, of course. 229 00:11:44,602 --> 00:11:46,126 But it makes you wonder. 230 00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:50,405 Did you hear the rumor about me, that I'm gay? 231 00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,540 I did, yes. 232 00:11:53,244 --> 00:11:55,269 And? What? 233 00:11:57,115 --> 00:12:01,176 Do you think it's true? Do you think that I'm gay? 234 00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:02,779 Are you attracted to other men? 235 00:12:05,623 --> 00:12:06,647 No. 236 00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:09,893 But let me kick you a scenario. 237 00:12:10,128 --> 00:12:14,394 I'm at, like, a beach cabana and Brad Pitt approaches, 238 00:12:14,599 --> 00:12:16,157 tries to lean in and kiss me. 239 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:24,104 I would definitely resist, like, at first, but if he was persistent, 240 00:12:24,976 --> 00:12:29,606 I might give in a little bit to just sort of see what it felt like. 241 00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:35,747 Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he's, like, really aggressive? 242 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:41,859 If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit, he would still need to get to you? 243 00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:46,090 This is not real Brad Pitt, this is, like, in my... This is my fantasy. 244 00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:50,199 Or it's, like, not fantasy, it's, like, what I'm... It's just a scenario. 245 00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:56,834 Well, I wish I could help you. I don't... You might be gay. You might be gay. 246 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,678 What exactly is my responsibility here? 247 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,271 To comfort insecure heterosexual men? 248 00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:06,317 That can't possibly fall to me. 249 00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:07,575 How far along is Pam? 250 00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:09,244 A few months. That's why they're rushing the wedding. 251 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,517 Guys, guys, guys, you can't believe everything you hear. 252 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:14,751 Like Stanley having an affair. 253 00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:17,818 That is crazy. There's no stock in it. 254 00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:21,027 It's a weird day for false facts. Just let it go. 255 00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:27,095 Okay, everybody, big day. Last day for our interns. Lot of other stuff. 256 00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:31,533 Who knows what to believe? Dwight, the honors. 257 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:38,007 Present these to the Dean for credit. And as a gift, I've attached my card. 258 00:13:38,082 --> 00:13:40,107 Call me any time of the day or night. 259 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:41,747 Why would we call you at night? 260 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,245 Well, now you can't call me at all, so problem solved. 261 00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:46,880 You're going to regret that when you find yourself 262 00:13:46,958 --> 00:13:49,017 between a moose and her cubs at night. 263 00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:52,263 Look to the intern on your left. Now to your right. 264 00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:56,228 One of you will do exceedingly well in business, just unlimited potential. 265 00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:59,870 One of you will make a living and nothing more. 266 00:14:00,271 --> 00:14:03,900 And one of you will make a great mother. 267 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:08,573 It's up to you to choose which you want to be. 268 00:14:10,748 --> 00:14:12,511 I am so happy you're eating again. 269 00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:13,812 Me, too. 270 00:14:14,052 --> 00:14:16,350 Tuna, how come you never try to set me up? 271 00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:19,714 I don't really do that. But Pam might have some friends, though. 272 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,448 Women friends? Yeah. 273 00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:23,055 Not guy friends? 274 00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:25,624 Are you interested in her guy friends? 275 00:14:25,697 --> 00:14:28,427 No. I mean, for the record, I prefer women. 276 00:14:28,499 --> 00:14:31,627 Okay. But off the record, I'm kind of confused. 277 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:32,928 Really? 278 00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:36,131 Yeah, the evidence is sort of stacked against me, I feel like. 279 00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:38,435 Well, you've got to figure this out. Yeah, right? 280 00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:39,703 Yeah. How? 281 00:14:39,777 --> 00:14:41,540 You've got to have sex with a woman. 282 00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:42,637 Righto. 283 00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:44,682 And then a man. And then compare. 284 00:14:44,749 --> 00:14:45,738 Oh! 285 00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:49,008 All right. 286 00:14:49,354 --> 00:14:50,343 Well, hey. Yep. 287 00:14:50,421 --> 00:14:52,616 Congratulations to you. On what? 288 00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:54,349 Come on. 289 00:14:54,926 --> 00:14:59,056 Little baby Tuna. Little junior Toro. 290 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:04,827 You know, a baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard. 291 00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:06,930 What? 292 00:15:07,005 --> 00:15:08,097 Want me to say it again? 293 00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:09,730 Why did that come into your brain? 294 00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,274 Can I talk to you for a second? 295 00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,510 So, they know. 296 00:15:14,846 --> 00:15:16,905 Who did you tell? I didn't tell anyone. Who did you tell? 297 00:15:16,981 --> 00:15:18,141 Nobody. 298 00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:22,084 Hey, did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma? Because I don't. 299 00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,417 If it gets out they won't let me scuba. 300 00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:27,981 If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? 301 00:15:28,059 --> 00:15:29,424 What am I working toward? 302 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,052 What? You think I'm the voice of the Taco Bell dog? 303 00:15:33,831 --> 00:15:37,824 What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter. How could I be a virgin? 304 00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:41,196 Hey, has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today? 305 00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:42,432 Yes. 306 00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:45,067 Yeah, yeah! You know what, let's discredit these rumors. 307 00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:47,270 Yeah, sure, but who's been saying all that stuff? 308 00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:50,508 It's not important, Jim. I just think we shouldn't listen to any of this crap. 309 00:15:50,581 --> 00:15:52,412 Sure, but we should get to the bottom of this. 310 00:15:52,483 --> 00:15:54,508 Let's pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning. 311 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,280 I need to do mine first. 312 00:15:56,688 --> 00:16:00,180 Who's been saying that there's another person inside of me 313 00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:02,517 working me with controls? 314 00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:05,025 I heard that from Andy. 315 00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:06,594 I heard it from Erin. 316 00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:07,688 What? 317 00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:09,426 I heard it from Michael. 318 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:11,257 Michael. 319 00:16:13,204 --> 00:16:14,193 Michael? 320 00:16:15,406 --> 00:16:16,566 He's over here. 321 00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:18,741 Where are you going? Nowhere. 322 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,103 Michael. Hmm? 323 00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:26,617 You told people that I use store-bought manure, 324 00:16:27,752 --> 00:16:31,279 when I showed you where my manure comes from. 325 00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,857 Hmm? Hmm? 326 00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:36,257 Don't get on it. Michael, don't. 327 00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:39,125 - Don't get on. Do not. - Michael, no. 328 00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:40,459 Michael. Stay, Michael. 329 00:16:40,531 --> 00:16:42,226 Step away. Stay. 330 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,824 - Come on, boss. - No. No. 331 00:16:46,237 --> 00:16:48,637 Okay, I made it all up. KELLY: What? 332 00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:50,438 Even the fact that I'm gay? 333 00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:52,168 Yes. Yes! 334 00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:55,503 But, guys, I'm a victim here, too. Okay? 335 00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:57,774 People have been saying that I'm a J. Crew model. 336 00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,779 No, we heard that about Jim. 337 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:03,981 Jim? No, no, I spread the rumor that somebody here was a J. Crew model 338 00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:05,386 and I was referring to myself. 339 00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:06,682 How is that a bad rumor? 340 00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:10,694 Because a lot of people think that models, even though they're very attractive, 341 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:14,254 are somewhat vapid. It's set our industry back quite a bit. 342 00:17:14,399 --> 00:17:18,358 Michael, why? Why say all these things? Why make up an eating disorder, 343 00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:21,128 Stanley's affair, me being a spokesdog? 344 00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:23,173 You told everyone I was having an affair? 345 00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:24,970 Okay, okay, here's the thing. 346 00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:30,777 There was one true rumor out there today. I didn't want everybody to know what it was, 347 00:17:30,915 --> 00:17:34,146 so all of you are off the hook except for this one person. 348 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,510 Well, then what's the one true rumor? 349 00:17:36,587 --> 00:17:37,918 We have a right to know. 350 00:17:38,122 --> 00:17:40,852 Michael, am I gay? 351 00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:46,219 The one true rumor, and this is going to ruin this person's life, is that... 352 00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:47,286 That Pam's pregnant. 353 00:17:47,465 --> 00:17:49,626 I knew it, I knew it. I knew it! 354 00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:53,531 Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, 355 00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:56,036 "Oh! She has a new bra with padding." 356 00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:59,906 But then I thought, "Pam doesn't need padding." 357 00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:01,768 It just didn't add up, Jim. 358 00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:03,108 Okay, thank you. 359 00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:04,170 Congratulations! 360 00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:06,239 - That's really great, you guys. - Don't vaccinate it. 361 00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:07,807 Who's the father? Jim. 362 00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:09,443 - How far along? - Four months. 363 00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,377 Who's the OB-GYN? Stop. Don't. 364 00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:16,860 All right, you know, this is not the truth and you can't fall on the sword this way. 365 00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:20,924 The real thing is that Stanley Hudson had an affair. 366 00:18:20,998 --> 00:18:22,329 No. Yes. 367 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,458 Thank you for trying to defend us, 368 00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:25,593 but actually Pam is pregnant and we can prove it. 369 00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,069 Yes. If everybody would like to see the proof. 370 00:18:27,138 --> 00:18:28,571 Wanna... Okay. Okay. 371 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:30,733 We're just going to wait here? 372 00:18:30,808 --> 00:18:32,070 What's the proof, I mean... 373 00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:40,381 It's true! Pam, look at that! 374 00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:43,610 That is the inside of your vagina. 375 00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,451 That's not how it works but... 376 00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:50,483 It's clear why we were trying not to tell people. That's clear now. Yeah. 377 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,664 How long have you known about the pregnancy? 378 00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:02,295 A week? A month? A year? 379 00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:04,938 Michael, we only told our parents last week. 380 00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:06,666 Did you pee on a stick? 381 00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:09,304 I did. But it was inconclusive. 382 00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:12,049 You should have told me. 383 00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:14,511 You're right. 384 00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:17,515 We should have realized that you are an equal part of this. 385 00:19:20,057 --> 00:19:21,046 Yes. 386 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:22,956 Michael, Teri Hudson returning your call. 387 00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:25,595 You called Stanley's wife? 388 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,062 Oh! Oh! 389 00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:30,328 Yeah, a long time ago. Just to make sure she was out of town. 390 00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,067 Oh, God. Don't take it. 391 00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:34,362 No, I have to take it or it'll seem suspicious. 392 00:19:34,438 --> 00:19:36,565 If you talk to her, you're going to tell her about Stanley 393 00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:37,972 and that's going to seem more suspicious. 394 00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:39,907 No, no, no, I can do this. You can't do this. 395 00:19:39,977 --> 00:19:44,676 Yes, I can. I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo 396 00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:45,807 and I need her help. 397 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:48,784 We will haggle about money, and I will back down, 398 00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:51,980 and then I won't talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over. 399 00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:53,080 Sounds terrible. We think you should... 400 00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:54,181 Michael, please don't. 401 00:19:54,392 --> 00:19:55,984 Hey, what up, Cynthia? 402 00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:04,666 Just hang on a second, Cynthia. 403 00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:17,309 Well, it turns out that Teri was already suspicious 404 00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:21,408 because she had caught Stanley and Cynthia a few months ago. 405 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:26,622 So Stanley promised that he would stop, and he did. End of story. 406 00:20:26,691 --> 00:20:28,750 Well, not exactly. 407 00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:32,053 Cynthia kept calling him. 408 00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:35,155 She would not stop calling him, and she was in love with him. 409 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,963 And get this. Cynthia, also married. 410 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:42,502 So, you can't stop love, I guess. 411 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:47,036 And quite frankly, I don't think you should ever even try. 412 00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:56,478 I learned that a company can describe their internship as full of exciting experiences, 413 00:20:56,988 --> 00:20:59,821 even if that's a lie. There's no regulation. 414 00:21:00,124 --> 00:21:03,389 I learned that half these people's e-mail password is "Password." 415 00:21:03,794 --> 00:21:07,025 I learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets. 416 00:21:07,098 --> 00:21:08,497 I thought it was 500. 417 00:21:09,867 --> 00:21:10,891 Oh! 418 00:21:11,102 --> 00:21:13,070 I guess I didn't learn anything. 419 00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:17,168 I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like Jet Li, 420 00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:20,404 Michael will call you Jet Li all summer. 421 00:21:20,611 --> 00:21:22,841 Julia Stiles. Alan Thicke.