1 00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:02,532 So, I'm happy to be here. 2 00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:05,363 It's very nice to see all of you. 3 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,798 You're all looking well. 4 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,342 Today is a "women in the workplace" thing. 5 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,971 Jan's coming in from Corporate to talk to all the women about... 6 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,307 I don't really know what. 7 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,945 But Michael's not allowed in. She said that about five times. 8 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:23,612 Women today, though we have the same options as men, 9 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,956 we often face a very different set of obstacles 10 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,893 In getting there. So... 11 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:30,157 Hey, what's going on? Michael... 12 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,324 Yeah, you know what? I thought we agreed you wouldn't be here. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,528 I thought about it. I just have a few things I want to say. 14 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,003 What are you doing? Just hear me out. 15 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,267 What is more important than quality? 16 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,598 Equality. 17 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:46,408 Now, studies show that today's woman, the Ally McBeal Woman, as I call her, 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,606 is at a crossroads. 19 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,842 Michael... And... No, just... 20 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,646 You have come a long way, baby. 21 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,313 But I just want to keep it within reason. Michael. 22 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,879 They did this up in Albany... You are not allowed in this session, okay? 23 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,049 ...and they ended up turning 24 00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,252 the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting. 25 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,919 Now you're really not allowed in this session. 26 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:04,464 Well, I'm their boss. I am your boss. 27 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,936 Anybody want any coffee or anything? We're fine, Michael. 28 00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:13,405 We just need you to leave, please. 29 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,101 Women in the workplace. 30 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:19,137 Yeah. Translation, I have been banned from my own conference room 31 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,305 so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls. 32 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,748 Whoa, sorry. Women of the workplace. 33 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:25,080 About what? I don't know. 34 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:26,949 Clothes. Me. 35 00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:31,617 Ladies, I am so, so sorry. 36 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:35,187 Can we start again? We were on such a roll. 37 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,354 I really apologize... Jan? 38 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,954 ...for that. Yes, Pam? 39 00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,430 Michael's still at the door. Michael! 40 00:02:12,983 --> 00:02:14,348 So, one obstacle 41 00:02:14,417 --> 00:02:17,750 is how assertiveness is perceived differently in men and women. 42 00:02:17,822 --> 00:02:21,121 Men who are assertive tend to be admired. They're called... 43 00:02:22,159 --> 00:02:23,148 Anyone? 44 00:02:23,694 --> 00:02:25,423 That's a terrible idea. 45 00:02:25,796 --> 00:02:26,922 What is? 46 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,861 Them in there all together. 47 00:02:28,999 --> 00:02:32,560 They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. 48 00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:35,071 Wreak havoc on our plumbing. 49 00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:39,039 Everyone? Guys? Circle up, please. 50 00:02:39,977 --> 00:02:41,740 Come on over. Bring your chairs. 51 00:02:41,812 --> 00:02:43,677 Toby? Come on over. 52 00:02:44,315 --> 00:02:46,875 You're a guy, too. Sort of. 53 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,011 Let's do this! 54 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:53,519 Well, first of all, I just want to warm up a little bit. Let's just clap. 55 00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,284 Let's just clap. Ready? 56 00:02:56,227 --> 00:02:58,752 Yeah! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! 57 00:02:58,829 --> 00:03:00,820 Okay, I don't know what you're doing here, Michael... 58 00:03:00,898 --> 00:03:02,889 Just having a little "guys in the workplace" thing. 59 00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:07,028 ...but it's very disruptive. Why can't boys play with dolls? 60 00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:10,336 Why does society 61 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,671 force us to use urinals, 62 00:03:12,743 --> 00:03:14,176 when sitting down is far more comfortable? 63 00:03:14,245 --> 00:03:15,837 Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael? 64 00:03:15,913 --> 00:03:17,972 We have nowhere else, Jan. 65 00:03:18,048 --> 00:03:20,414 This... We could do it in the warehouse. 66 00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,145 Dwight. Excellent idea. Go to the warehouse. 67 00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:24,983 Okay, fine. Actually, perfect. Perfect. 68 00:03:25,055 --> 00:03:29,321 You know what? There is another side to this place, gentlemen. 69 00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:33,193 And I know we all love our cushy jobs and our fun, exciting office, 70 00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:35,391 but do you realize that underneath us, 71 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:36,797 there's another world? 72 00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,300 The warehouse world. 73 00:03:38,369 --> 00:03:42,829 A world that is teeming with sweat and dirt and life. 74 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,301 Life. 75 00:03:45,609 --> 00:03:47,440 The bowels of the office. 76 00:03:47,511 --> 00:03:51,504 These guys are down there, they are real men, doing real men's work. 77 00:03:51,582 --> 00:03:54,745 We are going to learn how a warehouse works. 78 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,618 I think this is gonna work out great. 79 00:03:59,757 --> 00:04:03,454 Because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job, 80 00:04:03,527 --> 00:04:05,688 and I haven't been there in months. 81 00:04:29,286 --> 00:04:32,414 Remember on Lost when they met The Others? 82 00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,859 I am so sorry about that. 83 00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:40,955 So, where were we? Pam, are you okay taking notes, then? 84 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,658 Please? Yeah. 85 00:04:42,733 --> 00:04:44,132 Thank you very much. 86 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,862 So, let's meet the warehouse! 87 00:04:45,936 --> 00:04:47,733 Let's get some shots. 88 00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:50,167 Pan around there. 89 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:53,643 This is Darryl. One of our warehouse staff. 90 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,209 Darryl, what is your biggest fear? 91 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,305 My biggest fear is that someone will distract us 92 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,543 from getting all the shipments out on time. You know what? 93 00:05:00,618 --> 00:05:04,349 Darryl is actually the foreman here, and not Roy, which is cool. 94 00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:06,389 There's Roy, riding the big rig. 95 00:05:06,457 --> 00:05:10,257 So, Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer. 96 00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:12,820 And she's our receptionist. 97 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,727 Sort of a "Brangelina" thing. 98 00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:15,958 Why? 99 00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:20,433 "Brangelina" is the Brad Pitt and Angelina. I don't understand. 100 00:05:20,504 --> 00:05:23,735 Roy... Roy and Pam. It's a "Ram. " It's a "Ram" thing. 101 00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:26,469 I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. 102 00:05:27,645 --> 00:05:29,738 I bet he'll try to beat you up. 103 00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:32,047 Thanks for the heads up, Kev. 104 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,217 I got your back, if he does. 105 00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:39,550 But try to stay out of it. 106 00:05:40,724 --> 00:05:42,715 Just in case there's somebody down here who shouldn't be. 107 00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:44,988 A little Good Will Hunting situation. 108 00:05:45,062 --> 00:05:46,552 All right. Troops. 109 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,024 This is an important day, a big day. 110 00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:53,630 Now, you may look around 111 00:05:53,704 --> 00:05:55,501 and see two groups here. 112 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,907 White collar, blue collar. 113 00:05:57,975 --> 00:06:00,603 But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? 114 00:06:01,211 --> 00:06:02,940 Because I am collar-blind. 115 00:06:05,382 --> 00:06:09,148 Why don't we go around the table and all say something that we know we're good at? 116 00:06:09,219 --> 00:06:11,813 I will start. I am good at public speaking. 117 00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:14,652 Hi. I'm Meredith, and I'm an... 118 00:06:15,092 --> 00:06:16,821 Good at supplier relations. 119 00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:18,293 Great! Phyllis? 120 00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,325 I'm good at computer stuff. 121 00:06:20,397 --> 00:06:23,264 E- mails, spreadsheets. All that. 122 00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:24,392 Really? 123 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:25,962 I don't know. I thought that... 124 00:06:26,036 --> 00:06:27,469 No. Okay. Stop. 125 00:06:27,538 --> 00:06:28,800 You know, I've seen some of your spreadsheets, 126 00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,965 and I almost always... Really? I thought they were pretty... 127 00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:34,067 I don't know how I fit in with these women 128 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,044 here, or with Jan. 129 00:06:37,214 --> 00:06:39,682 I mean, we get along great. Fine. 130 00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:44,546 I guess the person I have the most in common with is... 131 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:48,090 Jim Halpert! 132 00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:50,690 Hey, I, you know, 133 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:54,594 heard there's a rumor going around about you used to have a crush on Pam and... 134 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,292 Oh, no, no. No, no, it's cool, 135 00:06:56,367 --> 00:06:57,925 'cause I know you're a good guy, 136 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,196 and I know that that crush ended a long time ago. 137 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,704 So, you know, we're cool. All right? 138 00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:05,469 Yeah. No, yeah. Definitely. 139 00:07:05,542 --> 00:07:08,033 You know, it's great with me. 'Cause that way... 140 00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:10,307 I'm glad she has a friend at work she can get through the day with. 141 00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:12,372 Oh. And then she's not all "bap, bap, bap, bap," 142 00:07:12,449 --> 00:07:14,781 you know, when she gets home. Yeah. I like talking to her, too. 143 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:18,583 So, we're cool, right? Yes. Yeah. 144 00:07:18,956 --> 00:07:21,322 Yup. Cool, man. Good. All right. Sweet. 145 00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:31,724 Hey, Mike, look. How about we go upstairs, too? 146 00:07:31,802 --> 00:07:34,066 You know, learn how an office works. Oh, well. 147 00:07:34,138 --> 00:07:36,504 We can both switch places for the day. Okay. Yeah. 148 00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:39,041 You know what? I don't... You... Your... 149 00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:40,508 My job sucks compared to this. 150 00:07:40,577 --> 00:07:42,010 I don't think you'd like it up there. An experience... 151 00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:44,309 Guys! Want to start unloading the truck? 152 00:07:46,316 --> 00:07:48,011 Okay. Let's go. 153 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,678 Step up. 154 00:07:49,753 --> 00:07:51,152 Check this out. 155 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,950 Look at that. Look at that. 156 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,582 Hello, how are... Okay. 157 00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:02,522 That's great. That is good stuff. 158 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,461 In five years, I'd like to be five years sober. 159 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,699 That is an excellent goal. 160 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,271 Four and a half. 161 00:08:10,607 --> 00:08:11,665 I'll tell you one thing. 162 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:15,610 I am not gonna be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan. 163 00:08:15,679 --> 00:08:16,737 Great. 164 00:08:17,314 --> 00:08:20,078 I want an SUV with three rows of seats. 165 00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,374 That would be great. 166 00:08:21,452 --> 00:08:22,441 I'll be honest. 167 00:08:22,519 --> 00:08:25,818 One of the goals of these women's seminars is to feel out if there's any standouts, 168 00:08:25,889 --> 00:08:28,824 women who could be a valuable addition to our corporate life. 169 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:36,563 Michael wants us to bond, so we need topics for conversation. 170 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:37,622 Ponies. 171 00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:38,725 No. 172 00:08:38,802 --> 00:08:39,826 How about rainbows? 173 00:08:39,903 --> 00:08:41,063 No. 174 00:08:41,138 --> 00:08:42,628 Flowers. No! 175 00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:44,431 That's dangerous, Mike. Come on, get down off the lift. 176 00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:45,975 Hey, you're gonna hurt yourself. Mike! 177 00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:48,238 Stand clear. Mike, get off of the lift. Please! 178 00:08:48,312 --> 00:08:50,212 Come on, now. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 179 00:08:50,647 --> 00:08:52,376 Look, would you... Look... 180 00:08:59,389 --> 00:09:00,651 We'll get somebody to clean that up. 181 00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:03,124 We're the ones that gotta clean that up! 182 00:09:03,494 --> 00:09:05,155 Damn it, Michael! 183 00:09:05,696 --> 00:09:07,891 We have to have this thing serviced. 184 00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,777 So, guys' gripe session. 185 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,210 Here we are. 186 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:15,983 Now, we definitely live in different worlds, 187 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,321 but we have a lot in common. 188 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,684 We even like the same girls, some of us. 189 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,130 And that's gonna happen. You know, we're guys, so... 190 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,361 Hey, do you want me to go? 191 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,699 No, why would I? You can... 192 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,133 I'll go. ... stay, or... 193 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,667 And a big walk-in closet. 194 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,474 Oh, that's part of my dream, too. Oh, me, too. 195 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,080 Great. Great. 196 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,612 And, Pam? What about you? What is your dream? 197 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:49,488 Well, I always dreamed of a house with a terrace upstairs. 198 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:53,190 Plant flowers on it, stuff like that. Since I was a girl. 199 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,256 More seriously, though, 200 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,223 a husband that I love. 201 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:00,558 Roy. 202 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,503 And I love to draw. 203 00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:07,473 And I did a little in college, and I'd still love to do something 204 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:09,805 where I could work with art or graphic design in some way. 205 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,344 She's real good. Thanks. 206 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:15,314 You know, the company is offering a design training program in New York. 207 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,111 Well, I have a job right now. 208 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,153 So, I can't really take time off. Well, it's only on weekends. 209 00:10:20,221 --> 00:10:22,189 And then a few weeks in New York, 210 00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,986 but I'm sure that I could ask Corporate to help you out. 211 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,050 Well, it's just that the weekends aren't good because... 212 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,187 There are always a million reasons not to do something. 213 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,833 Let's start with the warehouse. 214 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,337 What bothers you as guys? You know? 215 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,929 My priority is safety. 216 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:40,996 Okay. 217 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:44,067 So it really bothers me when somebody comes in here, speeding around on the lift, 218 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,237 playing with it like a toy. It kind of gets under my skin. 219 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,905 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 220 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:49,741 Don't shush me. 221 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,614 No, that was just... That bothers me, too. 222 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,744 I was breathing. Pam shushes me. It drives me crazy. 223 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,812 I hate shushing. You know, that's the thing. 224 00:10:55,889 --> 00:11:00,019 What... Okay. What is our beef, as human men? 225 00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,890 You know, that's a good question, Hasselhoff. 226 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:07,267 Okay. All right. What bugs us? 227 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,529 Good. Guys ragging on each other. 228 00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:12,470 That's what guys do, and we love it. 229 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:16,006 All right. Let's talk about clothing. 230 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,779 I'm excited about today. I love girl talk. 231 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,581 Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 232 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,085 All right, you can use your clothing to send a message about your ambitions 233 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,681 by wearing clothes that reflect what you aspire to be. 234 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,817 I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. 235 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,827 I'm a professional woman, 236 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,328 the head of Accounting. 237 00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:38,957 I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. 238 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:42,196 I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. 239 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,870 And apparently, judging from her outfit, 240 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,169 Jan aspires to be a whore. 241 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,508 I hate it when girls insist on taking them out to new restaurants 242 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,705 every weekend night, 243 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,443 and then they're like, "When are we gonna go on a date-date?" 244 00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:58,781 I hate that, too! I hate that, too! 245 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,581 That sucks so hard. It totally sucks! 246 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:03,145 Yeah, and then they make you drive them to church the next morning. 247 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,588 Like, gas ain't free. 248 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,925 Yeah, on our salaries, man. What do they expect? 249 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,861 You know, "Take us out every weekend," you know what I mean? 250 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,421 I feel you, man. We're not millionaires. 251 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,229 I feel you. No, you don't. You don't feel us. 252 00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,497 How can you? You know what? Not literally. 253 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,629 You say we're the same, 254 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:20,867 but we get compensated very differently. Yes. 255 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,933 We work the same hours as you, and you just said we work a lot harder. 256 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,912 You do. So... But we get paid a lot less. 257 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,106 Word. 258 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,173 Like, next to no benefits. I know. 259 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,979 God, what is that? Exactly. 260 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,679 It blows. It blows, man! 261 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,348 You know, this would not happen if we had a union. 262 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:37,856 That's what I'm talking about. 263 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,189 Absolutely, that's what we need to do. You're right. 264 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,455 See, that's what I've been saying, man. 265 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,723 We need to do this, finally. 266 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,162 You know what, is that necessary? 267 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,928 'Cause you already, sort of, have a union of guys. 268 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,765 It's more than necessary, Mike. We need this. 269 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:51,896 Roy? Yeah? 270 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,837 Do you still have that card from the dockworkers' union? 271 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,738 Dockworkers? In my truck. 272 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,901 Come on, man. Yeah. 273 00:12:58,479 --> 00:13:00,470 You know what? I think our problem is the chicks. 274 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,310 The problem is the chicks. Union! Yeah! 275 00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,479 And you gotta blame them. 276 00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:08,354 Are you with us, Mike? Yeah... 277 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,085 Welcome to the warehouse. 278 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:15,822 Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael! 279 00:13:17,162 --> 00:13:20,359 Another issue is inequality of pay between men and women. 280 00:13:20,735 --> 00:13:23,329 I'm sure that all of you have dealt with that before. 281 00:13:23,404 --> 00:13:25,929 This is important. Ladies, take a breather. 282 00:13:26,574 --> 00:13:28,201 Jan, I 283 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,270 wanted... 284 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,644 Can I help you? 285 00:13:34,515 --> 00:13:38,645 I wanted to say that the guys downstairs are thinking about forming a union, 286 00:13:38,753 --> 00:13:40,220 and they have some good points. What? A union? 287 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,447 Don't get hysterical. I'm not. 288 00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:44,389 Part of my job is knowing how to talk to women. 289 00:13:44,525 --> 00:13:47,119 Let's be rational here. 290 00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:49,494 What are the pros? What are the cons? 291 00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:52,589 The cons are that everyone will lose their job, Michael. Everyone. 292 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,600 Office, warehouse... 293 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:58,833 What do you think the pros are here? 294 00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:02,137 Don't talk to me that way, please. Just... 295 00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:04,272 They're gonna want to hear this from you. 296 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:05,642 You got yourself into this, Michael, so... 297 00:14:05,713 --> 00:14:08,409 We're bonding down there.... you get yourself out of it. That's too bad. 298 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,815 I just don't want to have to tell them something they're not gonna want to hear. 299 00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:13,319 Now who's getting hysterical? Okay. Come on, Jan. 300 00:14:13,387 --> 00:14:15,548 After all we've been through... Michael, Michael... 301 00:14:15,623 --> 00:14:17,989 We have a history. We have a history between us. 302 00:14:18,059 --> 00:14:20,220 Michael. Don't say another word. 303 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,387 Get yourself downstairs. 304 00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,762 I'm just saying that we have something. Okay. Whatever. 305 00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:29,898 You know what? 306 00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:33,272 We could get this done a lot quicker if we formed a type of assembly line. 307 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,969 This here is a "run out the clock" situation. 308 00:14:37,511 --> 00:14:39,138 Just like upstairs. 309 00:14:40,281 --> 00:14:42,010 Sports metaphors are one of the ways 310 00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:43,983 women feel left out of the language of the office. 311 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:48,010 Now, I know this might sound silly, but many women ask to go over it, so, 312 00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:49,454 "fumble" means... 313 00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:50,581 Mistake. Slip. 314 00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:51,647 Right. 315 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:55,183 "Par for the course" is a golf term. It means "right on track. " 316 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,257 "Below par" means "worse. " 317 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,797 Wait. That should mean better. That doesn't make sense. 318 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,426 What about "second base"? 319 00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:05,961 Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you, 320 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,736 does that mean you, like, closed a deal? Excuse me? 321 00:15:08,809 --> 00:15:10,709 I mean, that's a baseball term, right? 322 00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:14,578 I don't know what Michael was talking about. I don't know. 323 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,640 Like, you went to Chili's, and he got to second base with you. 324 00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:18,841 Excuse me. 325 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,910 Kelly, I don't know what Michael was talking about. 326 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,819 He just told everybody, and I just want to know if that's... 327 00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:24,915 Hey. Hey. 328 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,620 How's it going down there? 329 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:30,460 It's a complete... Well, actually, it's exactly what you'd expect, so... 330 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:32,089 How are the girls? Good. 331 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,760 We watched a video about our changing bodies. 332 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,435 Did you really? No. 333 00:15:36,504 --> 00:15:38,699 Oh. Almost. 334 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:42,133 But, hey, something kind of cool, 335 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:46,042 there's this internship in graphic design that Jan was telling us about. 336 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,445 She made it sound, like, really great. 337 00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:52,147 Nice! Well, what's it all about? I think you should do it. 338 00:15:52,987 --> 00:15:55,820 That's great! It's really cool. 339 00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:59,557 Cold front coming into the warehouse! 340 00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:03,062 Better put on your ski boots! 341 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,898 Happy New Year, Darryl. 342 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:12,467 Hey, Darryl. 343 00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:15,742 You ever done this? 344 00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:19,607 Are you married? 345 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,147 I'm divorced. 346 00:16:21,215 --> 00:16:22,580 That must have been hard. 347 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:23,674 It was, yes. 348 00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:26,276 You were probably feeling really depressed and sad, 349 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,787 and that's why you did that thing with Michael. 350 00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:31,825 I think you should all spend a little more time thinking about your careers, 351 00:16:31,892 --> 00:16:33,382 and less time on personal stuff. 352 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,054 I think we're all okay with the balance we've struck. 353 00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:37,563 At least you don't have kids. 354 00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,462 You have no kids, right? Thank God. 355 00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,502 Okay. Let's take five. I think we could all use five. 356 00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:47,201 How can someone so beautiful be so sad? 357 00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,936 Hi. Did you take care of the situation? 358 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:56,471 Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I have... 359 00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:59,209 Excuse me. Excuse me.... essentially, yes, I have taken... 360 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,187 I'm told that there has been some interest in forming a union, 361 00:17:02,256 --> 00:17:03,883 and that Michael supported it. 362 00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:05,516 Obviously, he's not a friend of yours, 363 00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:08,118 because he didn't tell you the facts. So, let me. 364 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:10,993 If there is even a whiff of unionizing in this branch, 365 00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:13,863 I can guarantee you the branch will be shut down like that. 366 00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:17,062 They unionized in Pittsfield, and we all know what happened in Pittsfield. 367 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,800 It will cost each of you a fortune in legal fees and union dues, 368 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,434 and that will be nothing compared to the cost of losing your jobs. 369 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:27,276 So I would think long and hard before sacrificing your savings and your futures 370 00:17:27,348 --> 00:17:29,248 just to send a message. 371 00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:33,116 If you have any further questions, you can direct them to... 372 00:17:34,755 --> 00:17:36,222 To Michael. 373 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:43,426 Dreams are just that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day. 374 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,599 Like the thing about the terrace. It's nice, 375 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,794 but, I don't know, 376 00:17:48,869 --> 00:17:51,394 it was just something I read in this book when I was 12. 377 00:17:51,472 --> 00:17:55,272 The girl in the book has a terrace outside of her bedroom, 378 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,674 and she planted flowers on it, 379 00:17:57,945 --> 00:17:59,913 and I just loved that. 380 00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:02,072 It just always kind of stuck with me. 381 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,844 So, you're not doing it. 382 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,417 How did you know? 383 00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:09,182 Why not? 384 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,751 It's just, like... No big reason. 385 00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:14,426 Just a bunch of little reasons. Come on. 386 00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:18,832 Roy's right. There's no guarantee it's gonna lead to anything, anyway. 387 00:18:18,899 --> 00:18:20,264 Roy said that? 388 00:18:21,635 --> 00:18:24,160 What? You have something you want to say? 389 00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:28,632 You gotta take a chance on something, sometime, Pam. 390 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,206 I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here, always? 391 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,442 Oh, excuse me, I'm fine with my choices. 392 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,409 You are? 393 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:39,284 Yeah. 394 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,518 It's impractical. 395 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,955 I'm not gonna try to get a house like that. 396 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:48,054 They don't even make houses like that in Scranton. 397 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,062 So, I'm never gonna... 398 00:18:57,004 --> 00:18:59,165 I'm just gonna put this over there. 399 00:19:01,108 --> 00:19:03,303 This is not a good idea, right here. 400 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,469 Easy does it. Okay. 401 00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:16,483 Pizza. Great equalizer. 402 00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:20,254 Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. 403 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:23,125 White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. 404 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:25,728 Do black people like pizza? 405 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,807 Hey. 406 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,141 Look, guys, I'm sorry. 407 00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:44,941 Sometimes Jan can be such a bitch. 408 00:19:45,419 --> 00:19:47,148 Yeah. Yeah. 409 00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:49,251 Hey, watch it. Watch it. 410 00:19:49,323 --> 00:19:50,813 We have a relationship. 411 00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:52,518 Thank you to our hosts. 412 00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,053 Hey, Michael! 413 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:55,993 This ain't over. 414 00:20:04,805 --> 00:20:05,829 Excellent. 415 00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:09,069 Is it good to be back? Yeah. I mean, I love the guy stuff, 416 00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:11,839 but to run an office, you need men and women. 417 00:20:11,912 --> 00:20:13,106 You know why? 418 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,579 Because you need to have that crazy sexual tension 419 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,447 to keep things interesting. 420 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,227 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 421 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,499 Hold, please. 422 00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:43,472 Snow angels. Snow angels.