1
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,768
Go. Get the door.
Here we are.

2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,065
Go. Push.

3
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,629
Oh, God.
Push.

4
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,299
No, no, no. Turn it
around. Really shove it.

5
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,036
You'll break it. Shove
it through. Break it!

6
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,237
You shove it.
Shove it back.

7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,315
Here we go.

8
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,252
Don't break the
branches, Dwight.

9
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,251
All right.

10
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,882
I got a splinter. Well, suck
it up. We all have problems.

11
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,552
Hey, everybody.
Look what we have.

12
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,662
Nice, huh?

13
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:32,960
I've got it leveraged.

14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,398
Push. Straight up.
On three. Ready?

15
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,868
Big. One, two, three.
One, two, three.

16
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,832
Merry Christmas.

17
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,671
Did it work?

18
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,716
Well, sort of.

19
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,112
Why did you
get it so big?

20
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:30,555
A, that's what she said, and,
B, I wanted it to be impressive.

21
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,593
The biggest day of the year deserves
the biggest tree of the year.

22
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,924
But what are we gonna do
with this hacked-off part?

23
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:39,022
Well, that is a perfectly
good mini-tree, Kevin,

24
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,829
and we are going to
sell that to charity.

25
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,393
That's what Christmas
is all about.

26
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:56,279
So this year, for the first time
ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa,

27
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,215
and I got her this teapot,

28
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,220
which I know she really wants,
so she can make tea at her desk.

29
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:04,553
But I'm also gonna stuff it
with some inside jokes.

30
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,890
Like, this is my
high school yearbook photo.

31
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,419
She saw it at the party,
and it really makes her laugh.

32
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,222
Not sure why.

33
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,332
What else?

34
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,794
This is a hot sauce packet.

35
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,601
She put this on a hot dog
a couple years ago

36
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,199
because she thought
it was ketchup.

37
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,873
And it was really funny,
so I kept the other two.

38
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:31,309
This would take a little too
long to explain, so I won't.

39
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,182
And this is the card.

40
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,017
Because Christmas is the time
to tell people how you feel.

41
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,591
Is there anything
we're missing?

42
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,925
Phyllis, you got the lights?

43
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,931
Yes, I got
those cute little ones.

44
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,434
Do you think I should
have gotten the big ones?

45
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,834
We'll see.

46
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,197
Angela drafted me into the
party planning committee.

47
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:58,540
Her memo said that we need to
prepare for every possible disaster,

48
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,780
which to me seems excessive.

49
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:08,254
Merry Christmas!
Ho, ho, ho, pimp.

50
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,421
I'm kidding. What do we got?
What do we got?

51
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,255
How many plates are we getting? Fifty.

52
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,023
Double it. Double everything.
Double ice cream. Double napkins.

53
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,859
Double it. On me.

54
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,663
It was a tough year. I had
to fire somebody this year.

55
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,862
This party has to really rock.

56
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:27,668
Check it out.
Christmas bonus, 3,000 Gs.

57
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,733
I got this for helping
save the company money.

58
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,772
So I guess some good came
out of firing Devon after all.

59
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,074
Maybe I should call him
and tell him that.

60
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:41,780
I want people to cut loose. I
want people making out in closets.

61
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:47,123
I want people hanging from the
ceilings, lamp shades on the heads.

62
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:50,095
I want it to be
a Playboy Mansion party.

63
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:54,395
And also, I want you to know and spread
the word that I will have my digital camera.

64
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:57,062
And I'll be taking pictures
all along the way.

65
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,469
And the best and
craziest thing that happens

66
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:02,270
will be on the cover
of the newsletter. Incentive.

67
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,606
You do realize that we can't
serve liquor at the party.

68
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,543
Yeah. I know. Damn it.

69
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:10,581
Stupid corporate wet blankets.
Like booze ever killed anybody.

70
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,345
One. Two. Three.

71
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,656
You guys should
use a hand truck.

72
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,386
Do we have one?
No.

73
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,827
Will you help me?

74
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,569
No! No way. It... No.
Come on, Mike.

75
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,467
Let me borrow the hat
for just a couple of hours.

76
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:32,869
You wanna be Santa?
Yeah.

77
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,305
Have you ever seen Santa?

78
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:35,841
Yeah, I've seen Santa.
Okay.

79
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,844
Who cares? Well, I'm
sorry. It just doesn't work.

80
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,506
Michael, I would like
to be the elf.

81
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:45,315
That makes sense because
he has elfish features.

82
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,451
Okay, everyone.
Listen up.

83
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:52,623
It is time to get your
presents, wrap them

84
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:56,652
and place them
under the tree, like so.

85
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,992
If you do not get your present
wrapped and under the tree

86
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,332
within the next five minutes,

87
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,531
you will be disqualified
from Secret Santa. All right?

88
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,802
No exceptions except Michael.

89
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,843
I got Angela.

90
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:15,805
She is into these posters
of babies dressed as adults.

91
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,907
I got her one of those.

92
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,952
I felt kind of weird
buying that.

93
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:24,857
I got Creed. And to tell you the truth,
I don't know anything about Creed.

94
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,894
I know his name's Creed. I
know he works right over there.

95
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,088
I think he's Irish and I...

96
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,556
I got him this
shamrock keychain.

97
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,398
I got myself for Secret Santa.

98
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,063
I was supposed to tell
somebody, but I didn't.

99
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,969
You get something
good this year?

100
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,846
I think I did a pretty good
job. Yeah? Who did you have?

101
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,974
Well, I can't tell you,
'cause it's a secret.

102
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,916
I think I got something
pretty nice for my guy.

103
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,012
Yeah? I spent a lot of
dough. Lot of dough. Wow.

104
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,387
Well, there's a $20
limit, right? So... Yeah.

105
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,552
I wanted this party to be really special
so I sort of went above and beyond.

106
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,687
That's great. Well, don't tell
me who it is, 'cause I can...

107
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:07,723
It was Ryan. Yeah.
I have Ryan.

108
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:12,067
Gather round. Secret Santa,
let's go. Let's go. Come on.

109
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,433
Stanley, no. I'm gonna handle
the cord. Okay, safety reasons.

110
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,976
I know how
to plug something in.

111
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,409
I want to do it.

112
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:23,142
All right, let's count it
down, like Rockefeller Center.

113
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,410
Ready?

114
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:28,114
Three, two, one.
Three, two, one.

115
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,748
Not great.

116
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,487
I'm sorry, everybody.

117
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,158
I think the tree looks nice.

118
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,198
Hey, I could get
some flares from my car.

119
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:42,861
No. No. Shake it off, everybody.
Just, let's do Secret Santa.

120
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,801
Presents are the best way to
show someone how much you care.

121
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:50,567
It is like this tangible thing
that you can point to and say,

122
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,943
"Hey, man, I love you
this many dollars' worth. "

123
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,245
First present, Oscar.

124
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,580
Shower radio. Neat.

125
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,883
Oh, good, that was from me.

126
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,787
Thanks, Kelly. You know
I was gonna get one of...

127
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,691
Okay. Okay. That's enough.
Let's keep it moving on.

128
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,922
Jim.
Oh, cool.

129
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,256
That's from me.

130
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,359
Great.

131
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,938
Where did you get it?

132
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,996
I don't know.
It was so long ago.

133
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,440
He obviously forgot
to get me something,

134
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,707
and then he went into his closet
and dug out this little number

135
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,270
and then threw it in a bag.

136
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,281
Yep. That's exactly
what happened.

137
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,544
Pam.

138
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,916
Oh, my God!

139
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:45,489
Thank you very much, Santa,
whoever you are.

140
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,364
It's awesome.
There's a little more to it.

141
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,800
All right. Next.

142
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,599
Ryan.
No. Don't.

143
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,671
Whoa, a video iPod.

144
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,872
Whoa. Wow. Jeez.

145
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,840
Somebody really got carried away
with the spirit of Christmas.

146
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,113
That was me. I got carried
away with the spirit.

147
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,781
Wasn't there a
$20 limit on the gift?

148
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,285
This is 400 bucks.

149
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,824
You don't know that.

150
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,054
Yeah, you left
the price tag on.

151
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,152
I did?
Yeah.

152
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,924
What? Oh, shoot. Wow.

153
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,899
Okay, well, who cares? It
doesn't matter what I spent.

154
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,959
What matters is that
Christmas is fun, right?

155
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,497
Michael.
Oh, hey, for me.

156
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,243
What is in here?

157
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,648
Oh, come on.

158
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,148
I knitted it for you.

159
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,508
An oven mitt?

160
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,446
Okay.

161
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,714
So Phyllis is
basically saying,

162
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,282
"Hey, Michael, I know you did a
lot to help the office this year

163
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,921
"but I only care about you
a homemade oven mitt's worth. "

164
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,760
I gave Ryan an iPod.

165
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,669
Should we just keep
opening up the presents?

166
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:03,732
We don't do anything until Michael
gives us further instructions.

167
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,540
I got it.

168
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,776
We are going to turn

169
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:14,116
Secret Santa into Yankee Swap.

170
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,787
What is Yankee Swap?

171
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,256
One person chooses a gift.

172
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:23,228
The next person can either choose
a gift or steal that person's gift.

173
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:27,225
If your gift gets stolen, then
you can steal someone else's gift

174
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,699
or choose a new gift.

175
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,497
I thought that was
called Nasty Christmas.

176
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,197
Yeah, we call it
White Elephant.

177
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,967
Well, I call it fun!

178
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,268
Why are we doing this?

179
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,276
Because it's better.
Because it's more special.

180
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,811
It sounds mean.
Shut it.

181
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,506
No, it's not...

182
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,911
Okay, just give it a shot.

183
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,917
Michael should have asked the
party planning committee first.

184
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:49,046
He's not supposed to just spring
things on us out of nowhere.

185
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,321
Okay, Meredith is up first.
Here's the deal.

186
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,227
You can either pick a new gift

187
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,597
or you can steal
somebody else's gift

188
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,898
that they've already gotten,
like the oven mitt.

189
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,768
I'll take the teapot.

190
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,602
Oh. Shouldn't we...

191
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,271
I bought that specifically
for Pam. Yankee Swap!

192
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,709
That's what makes it fun.

193
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,646
Pam, you can steal the oven
mitt now. I'll take the iPod.

194
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,979
And I have to give it to her?
I don't have a choice?

195
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,212
Yes. Now, you can
steal the oven mitt,

196
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,654
the old shirt or the shower
radio or pick a new gift.

197
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,235
That was meant for Kelly.
Yeah, I figured.

198
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,403
I think this is going great.

199
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:54,981
Yikes.

200
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:57,416
Well, it's for Angela, so...

201
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,760
That's, like, the creepiest
thing that I've ever seen.

202
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,491
Angela, you're up.

203
00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:09,399
I'll take the poster.

204
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,006
Some people like these.

205
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,200
I will steal the iPod.

206
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,406
Everyone wants the iPod.

207
00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:22,108
It's a huge hit. It is
almost a Christmas miracle.

208
00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:27,844
Oh, well, Oscar, you little
gourmand, you have the next turn.

209
00:11:27,922 --> 00:11:32,154
I'll take the teapot.
Damn it.

210
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:35,288
Okay. Moving along,
Meredith, let's go.

211
00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:36,863
I really want the iPod.

212
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:40,532
It's already been stolen this
round. Pick something else.

213
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,627
I hope nobody takes this baby,
'cause this is great.

214
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,332
Wow, look at that
fine craftsmanship.

215
00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,075
Somebody really put a lot of
work into that. It's beautiful.

216
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,113
I'll take the oven mitt.

217
00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:56,040
Sucker!

218
00:11:57,418 --> 00:12:01,013
See, I wanted somebody to take
it. Boom! Reverse psychology.

219
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,682
Reverse psychology
is an awesome tool.

220
00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:05,990
I don't know if you guys
know about it,

221
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:10,759
but basically you make someone think
the opposite of what you believe

222
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:14,331
and that tricks them
into doing something stupid.

223
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,097
Works like a charm.

224
00:12:22,944 --> 00:12:24,639
"In addition to these
paint ball pellets,

225
00:12:24,712 --> 00:12:28,204
"your gift includes two paint
ball lessons with Dwight Shrute. "

226
00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:30,614
You and me, Michael. Yes.

227
00:12:34,455 --> 00:12:38,721
Who wants to take paint ball lessons?
How is that better than an iPod?

228
00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:41,523
I never said it was
better than an iPod.

229
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:47,464
Michael keeps bragging about
his iPod, but you know what?

230
00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:50,095
Two paint ball lessons with
someone as experienced as I am

231
00:12:50,171 --> 00:12:52,401
is worth easily,
like, 2 grand.

232
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,635
Take that, Saddam.

233
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:56,367
Last gift, Kevin.

234
00:12:56,444 --> 00:12:58,036
I want the foot bath.

235
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:03,212
That's the thing
I bought myself.

236
00:13:03,484 --> 00:13:05,714
I'm really psyched to use it.

237
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,646
Maybe I should have
taken the iPod.

238
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,253
Oh, shoot.

239
00:13:15,129 --> 00:13:17,859
Pam, steal something
or pick the final gift.

240
00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:20,264
I want the iPod.
Damn it.

241
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,529
Sure you don't want
the teapot?

242
00:13:22,603 --> 00:13:25,470
Well, I mean, it's
an iPod. But... Right.

243
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,905
Sorry, I...
No. No. Definitely. It's...

244
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:32,708
Okay, well, I guess I will
take that book of short stories.

245
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:37,141
Yes! There you go.
I want the tea pot. Gracias.

246
00:13:38,419 --> 00:13:39,511
Got to be kidding me.

247
00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:44,120
Yankee Swap is like
Machiavelli meets

248
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:47,786
Christmas.

249
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:50,927
What is she so upset about?

250
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,932
Maybe because you hated
her present so much.

251
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,230
Come on! I think that
Yankee Swap was a big hit.

252
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,735
I think it was a success,

253
00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:59,466
and I'm the one who ended up with
Dwight's stupid paint ball pellets.

254
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,907
Yeah, but, Michael, the point is that
we all bought gifts for specific people.

255
00:14:02,977 --> 00:14:05,639
And you should have just bought
a $20 gift like everyone else.

256
00:14:05,713 --> 00:14:06,839
Well, I didn't.

257
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:09,474
I got a big bonus
because I fired Devon,

258
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:12,951
and I used the money to buy
something awesome. Sue me!

259
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,152
You got a bonus check?

260
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,552
How much?

261
00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:22,326
It wasn't... It wasn't
that much. It was $3,000.

262
00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:24,387
All right, I'm done now.

263
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:28,995
Unbelievable.

264
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,698
I do the nicest thing that anyone
has ever done for these people,

265
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:32,898
and they freak out.

266
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,534
Well, happy birthday, Jesus.
Sorry your party's so lame.

267
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,915
It comes to $166.41.

268
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:46,316
All right, now, you're the expert. Is
this enough to get 20 people plastered?

269
00:14:47,288 --> 00:14:49,347
Fifteen bottles of vodka?

270
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:53,153
Yeah, that should do it.
Cool, cool. Box it up.

271
00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:05,404
I bought this teapot for Pam,
and I know she really wants it.

272
00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:07,305
So, can I trade you for it?
No trades.

273
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:10,310
Come on. It's a shamrock
keychain. Good luck.

274
00:15:10,612 --> 00:15:14,173
"A real man makes his own
luck. " Billy Zane, Titanic.

275
00:15:14,249 --> 00:15:17,616
Look it has sentimental value,
Dwight. Can I buy it from you?

276
00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:19,654
No. I want it.
I'm going to use it.

277
00:15:19,721 --> 00:15:21,348
You don't even drink tea.
True.

278
00:15:21,423 --> 00:15:24,586
But I get sinus infections, and
sinus infections can be cured

279
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:26,627
by making your tea
from green tea leaf stems...

280
00:15:26,695 --> 00:15:27,992
Okay.
... and pouring it directly

281
00:15:28,063 --> 00:15:29,621
into your nose, like so.

282
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:36,459
To think that my gift to Pam
will be used for that,

283
00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:39,567
it's a little
too much to handle.

284
00:15:39,641 --> 00:15:40,835
This is awesome.

285
00:15:40,909 --> 00:15:43,469
I know. It's totally gonna
change the way I work out.

286
00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:47,072
Yeah, I was gonna get you one of these
for Christmas, now I don't have to.

287
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:48,309
I'm gonna save a ton of money.

288
00:15:48,383 --> 00:15:49,714
So what are you
gonna get me instead?

289
00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:52,412
I don't know. Probably, like,
a sweater or something.

290
00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:56,713
Uh-oh.

291
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,953
Looks like Santa
was a little naughty.

292
00:16:01,463 --> 00:16:02,896
What is that?

293
00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:06,957
This is Christmas spirit,
as in spirits, booze.

294
00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:08,735
We can drink?

295
00:16:08,803 --> 00:16:10,896
We're really not supposed
to serve alcohol.

296
00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:14,237
Zip it, Toby! Just...
I mean, it's a party. Come on.

297
00:16:14,309 --> 00:16:18,336
If I can't throw a good party for my
employees, then I am a terrible boss.

298
00:16:19,614 --> 00:16:21,081
Who wants a drink?
Me. Please.

299
00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:22,707
Go! Here we go!

300
00:16:24,252 --> 00:16:26,277
The deal is that
this is my last hurrah,

301
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:28,788
'cause I made a
New Year's resolution

302
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:32,156
that I'm not gonna drink
anymore during the week.

303
00:16:32,594 --> 00:16:34,186
Hi, guys.
Hey.

304
00:16:34,262 --> 00:16:36,856
Does everyone know
my boyfriend, Bob Vance?

305
00:16:36,932 --> 00:16:39,992
Kevin Malone. Bob Vance,
Vance Refrigeration.

306
00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:42,969
Stanley Hudson. Bob
Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

307
00:16:43,038 --> 00:16:45,939
Ryan Howard. Bob Vance,
Vance Refrigeration.

308
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:49,839
What line of work you in, Bob?

309
00:16:50,245 --> 00:16:53,373
I think after I lost Culpepper
and T.O. It was over, man.

310
00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:55,245
Oh, yeah,
I need McMahon,

311
00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:57,842
Deion Branch to have big
games, or else I'm done.

312
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:58,977
It's possible.

313
00:16:59,054 --> 00:17:00,988
I can't believe you
traded Shaun Alexander, man.

314
00:17:01,056 --> 00:17:02,284
I had to,
I needed defense.

315
00:17:02,357 --> 00:17:03,756
Come on! Shaun Alexander?

316
00:17:03,825 --> 00:17:06,089
He's the best back in
the league. It's defense.

317
00:17:06,161 --> 00:17:08,823
Oh, no. That's not
worth it. It is worth it.

318
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,058
Never. Are you kidding? You wait.

319
00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:15,330
Anybody making out in here?
Not yet. Give it time.

320
00:17:15,704 --> 00:17:17,729
Oh, hey, Ebenezer, boink.

321
00:17:17,806 --> 00:17:19,603
Okay, how's it going in here?

322
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:22,040
We're running low on cups. Do you
want me to just run out and get some?

323
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:23,236
Yeah, there should be some...
No, no, no.

324
00:17:23,311 --> 00:17:24,903
We'll find some.
Don't leave the party.

325
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:27,414
One, two, three!

326
00:17:32,487 --> 00:17:34,785
Kudos to Ryan,
king of the party committee.

327
00:17:34,856 --> 00:17:36,050
Oh, no.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

328
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:37,489
I really did not do anything.

329
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:39,720
Oh, no, no.
No false modesty, my friend.

330
00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:46,760
You know, you don't have to
answer calls during a party.

331
00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:48,359
Just thought you should know.

332
00:17:48,436 --> 00:17:51,337
No, I was just
checking out my present.

333
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:56,105
But...
I traded with Dwight.

334
00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:59,374
Just, I figured, you know,

335
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:01,881
you went to a lot of trouble
and it means a lot.

336
00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:06,319
And also, Roy got me an iPod

337
00:18:07,255 --> 00:18:09,689
or was going to
get me an iPod, so...

338
00:18:10,058 --> 00:18:11,685
Well, either way.

339
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:16,263
This is an amazing gift because
it comes with bonus gifts.

340
00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:18,731
Look inside.

341
00:18:23,638 --> 00:18:28,075
Oh, my God!
The yearbook picture.

342
00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:30,904
Yeah, I think
I made the right choice.

343
00:18:32,047 --> 00:18:35,278
Oh, my God! It's incredible.

344
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:36,578
Is this the bottle timer?

345
00:18:36,651 --> 00:18:38,642
I didn't think you were gonna
get that one. I really didn't.

346
00:18:40,922 --> 00:18:42,651
This is so awesome.

347
00:18:42,824 --> 00:18:46,453
Not bad. And if it couldn't go to Ryan,
you are the guy I'd want it to go to.

348
00:18:46,528 --> 00:18:47,722
Thank you.
You're welcome.

349
00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:50,162
Merry Christmas, asswipe.
No way.

350
00:18:50,231 --> 00:18:53,462
Oh, you're kidding me. Packer!

351
00:18:53,968 --> 00:18:57,301
Yes! Todd Packer,
ladies and gentlemen.

352
00:18:57,439 --> 00:18:59,999
What's up, my nerds?
Check it out!

353
00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:04,478
Oh, no, no. Oh, look at that.
Icing on the cake.

354
00:19:05,046 --> 00:19:07,708
Pacman need a drinky.
Oh, let's fix you up.

355
00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:10,717
Who wants to fix up... Toby?
Toby's gonna fix you up.

356
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:12,645
Yeah.

357
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,559
Darryl. There you go.

358
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,254
You earned it.
That's okay, Mike.

359
00:19:21,329 --> 00:19:24,492
No, no, no, no. I really,
really want you to have it.

360
00:19:24,566 --> 00:19:26,431
All right. Thanks, man.

361
00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,298
Hey, Merry Christmas.

362
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:33,233
Whose butt is that?
Mine.

363
00:19:33,308 --> 00:19:35,572
Oh, how did I not guess that?

364
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:39,704
Lampshade on head!
It's happening!

365
00:19:40,615 --> 00:19:41,809
Oh, no.

366
00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:52,622
Hey.
Oh, hello there.

367
00:19:55,397 --> 00:19:58,366
But what are you doing?
I don't know.

368
00:19:58,733 --> 00:20:01,964
You shouldn't do things like that.
The man is supposed to do that.

369
00:20:15,316 --> 00:20:17,250
Thanks for the party, Michael.
Yeah.

370
00:20:17,318 --> 00:20:19,548
Oh, hey... Listen up. We're
going to Poor Richard's.

371
00:20:19,621 --> 00:20:20,747
Who's in?
I'm in.

372
00:20:20,822 --> 00:20:21,948
Yes.

373
00:20:22,023 --> 00:20:24,184
Michael?
Poor Richard's?

374
00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:26,985
Yeah. That sounds good.

375
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:28,892
Christmas is awesome.

376
00:20:29,497 --> 00:20:33,263
First of all, you get to spend
time with people you love.

377
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:37,031
Secondly, you can get drunk
and no one can say anything.

378
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:40,836
Third, you give presents. What's
better than giving presents?

379
00:20:40,909 --> 00:20:44,868
And fourth, getting presents. So,
four things. Not bad for one day.

380
00:20:44,946 --> 00:20:48,074
It's really the
greatest day of all time.

381
00:20:50,785 --> 00:20:51,979
Hey, Meredith.

382
00:20:52,053 --> 00:20:54,112
Heading over to Poor Richard's? Yep.

383
00:20:54,189 --> 00:20:57,420
Cool, cool, cool.
Do you need a ride?

384
00:21:07,435 --> 00:21:09,460
All right, let's head out.

385
00:21:10,238 --> 00:21:13,173
Sounds good. Do you have a coat? Yeah.

386
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:14,538
Okay!