1
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,670
Basic principles:

2
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,880
No woman wakes up saying:

3
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:52,510
"God, I hope I don't get
swept off my feet today."

4
00:00:55,095 --> 00:00:59,640
Now, she might say,
"This is a reaIIy bad time for me."

5
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:06,100
Or something Iike,
"I just need some space."

6
00:01:07,565 --> 00:01:10,235
Or my personaI favourite:

7
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,110
"I'm reaIIy into my career
right now."

8
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,745
You believe that? Neither does she.

9
00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:22,830
You know why?
Because she's lying to you, that's why.

10
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,085
You understand me? Lying.

11
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,630
lt's not a bad time for her.
She doesn't need any space.

12
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,630
She may be into her career. . .

13
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,470
but what she's really saying is,
"Get away from me now."

14
00:01:36,845 --> 00:01:39,430
Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid."

15
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,185
Well, which one is it?

16
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:48,565
60% of aII human communication
is nonverbaI.

17
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,360
Body Ianguage.

18
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,569
30% is your tone.

19
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,824
So that means that
90% of what you're saying...

20
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,409
ain't coming out of your mouth.

21
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,497
Toby!

22
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,041
Shit!

23
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,501
Of course she'll lie to you.

24
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,379
She's a nice person,
she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.

25
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,132
What else is she gonna say?
She doesn't even know you.

26
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,383
Yet.

27
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,013
LuckiIy, the fact is
that just Iike the rest of us...

28
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:24,560
even a beautifuI woman doesn't know
what she wants untiI she sees it.

29
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,395
And that's where I come in.

30
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,772
My job is to open her eyes.

31
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,609
Oh, my God !

32
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,866
ls this what you're looking for?

33
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:42,870
Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who. . .

34
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:46,540
any man has a chance
to sweep any woman off her feet.

35
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,750
Just needs the right broom.

36
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,429
You cannot use what you do not have.

37
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,557
So if you're shy, be shy.
lf you're outgoing, be outgoing.

38
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,101
-l'm not outgoing.
-That's okay.

39
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,688
She may not want the whole truth,
but she does want the real you.

40
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,192
She may not want to see it all at once,
but she does want to see it.

41
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,861
So tonight, when you're wondering
what to say. . .

42
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,113
how you look, or if she likes you. . .

43
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,241
just remember,
she is already out with you.

44
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:25,746
That means she said yes
when she could have said no.

45
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,833
That means she made a plan when
she could have just blown you off.

46
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:34,046
So that means it is no longer your job
to try to make her like you.

47
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,132
lt is your job not to mess it up.

48
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,971
The shoes are hot.
You went to the place l told you?

49
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:47,643
Yeah, but l don't think
they're really me.

50
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,438
"You" is a very fluid concept right now.

51
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:55,108
You bought the shoes.
You look great in the shoes.

52
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,069
That's the you l'm talking about.

53
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,658
The key tonight is hang back.

54
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,744
Give her pIenty of space.

55
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,414
If she Iingers at a photograph,
move on.

56
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,377
But maintain the visuaI.

57
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,508
It's supposed to be
64 and cIear tonight.

58
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,010
So when you Ieave the cIub,
waIk a IittIe.

59
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,471
Ask her what she
thought about the show...

60
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:27,307
what was her favourite photograph,
why that one.

61
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,811
And when she answers,
don't be Iooking at her mouth.

62
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,605
Don't be wondering
what she Iooks Iike naked.

63
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,234
Listen to what she is saying
and respond.

64
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,153
Listen and respond.

65
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,531
That way,
when it's your turn to taIk...

66
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,617
you'II have something better
to say than, "I Iike your mouth."

67
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,036
What was your favourite one?

68
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,914
The elephant, definitely.

69
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,750
And all of a sudden,
we're on date number two.

70
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,755
Ready.

71
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:05,971
No way.

72
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,726
We're going back in there.
You have to smile.

73
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:14,563
ln case you didn't go to high school,
hitting is a good thing.

74
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,232
So how does it happen, great Iove?

75
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,442
Are you okay?

76
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,193
-Nobody knows.
-l'm good.

77
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:23,655
Let me get a Bomb Pop
and a Screwball for the lady.

78
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:28,076
But what I can teII you, is that
it happens in the bIink of an eye.

79
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,914
One moment,
you're enjoying your Iife.

80
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:37,252
And the next, you're wondering
how you ever Iived without them.

81
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,589
Three dates is aII I need.

82
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:45,093
Three dates, and I'II get you here,
to the high-stakes medaI round...

83
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,263
where eight out of 10 women
beIieve that the first kiss. . .

84
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:52,267
wiII teII them everything they need
to know about the reIationship.

85
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,174
After that, you're on your own.

86
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,718
But aIways remember...

87
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:30,055
Iife is not the amount
of breaths you take.

88
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,768
It's the moments
that take your breath away.

89
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,441
Did l call it or did l call it?

90
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,652
l mean, what did l say, six months?

91
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,570
And when was her first date?

92
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,657
So five-and-a-half?
God, l hate it when l'm right.

93
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:52,452
What is it about guys that makes them
want to screw anything that walks. . .

94
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,831
even when they're going out with
someone as awesome as Allegra Cole?

95
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,792
She's only the most fabulous thing
walking around New York.

96
00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,960
Thanks, Young.

97
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,379
Are you kidding?
Of course l'm gonna run it.

98
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,924
Why should she waste her heart
on some Swedish aristo-brat?

99
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,051
Even if he is gorgeous.

100
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,845
lf he's stupid enough to cheat. . .

101
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,347
the world should know
he's dumb enough to get caught.

102
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,933
Exactly. l'm in the elevator.
See you in a minute.

103
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,227
Good morning, how are you?

104
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,396
Bitter, party of one.

105
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,982
You should try it sometime.

106
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,360
Barbados by myself?
l wouldn't last five minutes.

107
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,279
lt was just what the doctor ordered.

108
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,866
l slept in, l did my yoga,
l read a couple of books. . .

109
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,659
flirted with my scuba instructor.

110
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,871
-And apparently never left the office.
-l know, isn't that great?

111
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,123
You should've taken
someone with you.

112
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,375
Who am l gonna take with me?

113
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,711
This is where a boyfriend
comes in handy.

114
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:47,340
-l don't have time for a boyfriend.
-You said that two years ago.

115
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:50,469
Yes, and it's as true today
as it was then.

116
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,471
l thought you were on vacation.

117
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,891
See if these are in focus
and have them in my desk in an hour.

118
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,393
Besides, relationships
are for people. . .

119
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,395
waiting for something better
to come along.

120
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,898
Spoken like a true cynic.

121
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,108
l'm not a cynic. l'm a realist.

122
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:09,696
You are a realist masquerading as a
cynic who is secretly an optimist.

123
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,407
What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?

124
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,117
She works here, remember?

125
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,870
No, she doesn't.
Not for another four days.

126
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,747
-This couldn't wait.
-lt could.

127
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,749
What are you doing?
Go back to the beach.

128
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,752
-l don't want you here.
-No, really, you do.

129
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,880
You are becoming
a sick, workaholic lunatic. . .

130
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,673
and this is exactly. . .

131
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:32,928
the kind of nervous, overwrought
behaviour that leads to--

132
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,972
Pictures of Sebby
with a busty brunette.

133
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,017
A very big raise.

134
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,604
Jesus. You could find dirt
in a snowstorm.

135
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,606
Comes with the job.

136
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:49,444
You know, kiddo, there is more to life
than watching other people live it.

137
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,280
Can l help he was cheating
on my beach?

138
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,950
l think it's great
that you're so good at your job.

139
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,786
l'm just a little worried as to why.

140
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,248
Let me worry about that.

141
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,584
Okay. l want that column on my desk
by lunch.

142
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,044
So you'll pay for my hotel?

143
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,631
For you to sip mai tais?
l don't think so. Get out.

144
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,478
-Come on.
-What?

145
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,063
-That's good, right?
-No.

146
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,773
No, it was in and it freaked out.

147
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:30,944
You know what your problem is, Hitch?
You're all about the short game.

148
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,865
You pick your shots
based on what you see first. . .

149
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,536
not what's necessarily best for you. . .

150
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,330
in the long run.

151
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,667
All of us are not married
to the woman of our dreams. . .

152
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,419
and about to have a baby.

153
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,089
You know, l'm very happy for you.
Just not meant for everybody.

154
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,134
So please just leave me
to my hot, sweaty. . .

155
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,512
totally varied, wildly experimental
short game.

156
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,683
-l was talking about pool, but whatever.
-Yeah, okay.

157
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,519
Honestly, l just hope one day
you're able to experience. . .

158
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:08,356
the unconditional love, trust,
and openness. . .

159
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,358
that l share with Grace
every single day.

160
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:14,154
-ls this really barroom talk?
-You need to listen to me. l'm serious.

161
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,948
Because when you get to a place
with a woman like that. . .

162
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,867
it's so beyond anything physical that. . .

163
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,703
when l think back to
when l used to run around with you. . .

164
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,789
and chase all these really gorgeous
but shallow women. . . .

165
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:29,919
l don't know, it's kind of ridiculous
and vaguely pathetic.

166
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:40,096
Yeah, l see what you mean.
That's pathetic.

167
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,894
So, how'd you meet him?

168
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,897
l was in La Perla
just buying some weekend thongs.

169
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,650
-And he was doing likewise?
-No.

170
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,986
Actually, he said he was buying
something for his mom.

171
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,446
His mom?

172
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,366
Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie
for their mother?

173
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,826
Well, maybe he was looking
for a robe.

174
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:06,498
Casey, he was hitting on you while he
was buying lingerie for another woman.

175
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,086
-l prefer the mother story.
-l know you do, but that's not the point.

176
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:14,506
No, the point is l'm not gonna start out
assuming the guy's a liar.

177
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,300
-Why not?
-Because that's how you wind up. . . .

178
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,595
Like me? ls that what
you were gonna say?

179
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,223
No. l was gonna say, "Like you."

180
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,558
-What's his name?
-Why?

181
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,395
-l'm gonna Google him.
-No. Google your own guy.

182
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,438
Let's just see if his mother's still alive.

183
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,566
-So when is Grace due again?
-Soon.

184
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,569
-You excited?
-What'd you say?

185
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,447
Do you want me to go get them
and bring them over here?

186
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:40,740
No, don't do that.

187
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,951
Are you saying you don't
wanna talk to them. . .

188
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,869
because you can't
go home with them?

189
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,205
l'm just trying to keep
my head above water.

190
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,041
-Have you heard of the Date Doctor?
-Urban myth.

191
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,418
-Really?
-Absolutely.

192
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:53,128
l was hoping he also helped women.

193
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:56,381
Casey, you're not sick. You're single.

194
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,925
You just have to relax
and enjoy the ride.

195
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,302
l haven't been ridden in months.

196
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:09,310
On that happy note, l'm gonna go see
if anybody interesting came in tonight.

197
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,688
-You mean, besides me.
-Right.

198
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,273
Bye.

199
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,775
l'll go get those girls,
bring them over here. . .

200
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,111
and we'll have a conversation
like human beings.

201
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,948
Then you're gonna home, and l'll
take them back to my apartment.

202
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:26,494
Well, that sounds like fun for me.
But you might want to get in line, pal.

203
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:29,581
-Hey, girl.
-Hey, how are you?

204
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:35,503
Hey, baby, can l get a couple Coronas
at the pool table, please? Thanks.

205
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,046
Excuse me.

206
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,509
Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.

207
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:44,053
Hey, asshole, l don't work here.

208
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,019
l'm sorry. The paramedics
will have to come. . .

209
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,188
to get my foot out of my mouth,
sweetheart.

210
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,648
Just don't let it happen again.

211
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,318
-l knew you didn't work here.
-You did?

212
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,946
How else was l supposed to get
you away from all those guys?

213
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,949
Why would you want to do that?

214
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:08,870
Some guys naturaIIy deveIop
a comfort with the opposite sex.

215
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:12,916
They Iike women, women Iike them.
Everything fIows naturaIIy.

216
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:17,295
Back in coIIege,
I was just not one of them.

217
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,636
I seemed to Iack
the basic understanding...

218
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,305
that my peers
just intuitiveIy grasped.

219
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:32,018
But Iike any Iate bIoomer,
I was eager to make up for Iost time.

220
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,982
Her name was Cressida BayIor.

221
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,111
Can you tell me
where the registration building is?

222
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,992
And my Iife wouId never be the same.

223
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,620
-l'm Alex.
-Cressida.

224
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,334
What we had was beautifuI.

225
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,550
l love you.

226
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,096
l love you so much.

227
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,974
l love you, too, Alex.

228
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,358
l know you don't love me
as much as l love you.

229
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:24,279
But that's okay.
l'm just glad you love me at all.

230
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,824
In retrospect, I guess I may
have come on a IittIe strong.

231
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,372
But the experience taught me a Iot.

232
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,832
Cressida!

233
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,296
What are you doing?

234
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,797
l'm sorry, Alex.

235
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:47,385
But l love you. What did l do wrong?
Just tell me what l did wrong.

236
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,679
You're doing it right now.

237
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,307
Alex, l'm sorry.

238
00:14:55,853 --> 00:15:00,064
And it's an education I feeI
obIiged to pass on to my feIIow men.

239
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:08,114
Because with no guiIe and no game,
there's no girI.

240
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,159
If ever a man born
was without game...

241
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,787
it was AIbert Brennaman.

242
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:45,068
My business is 1 00% referraI
and, thus far, untraceable.

243
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,028
And if there's one thing I've Iearned...

244
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,865
when you orchestrate, coordinate,
and otherwise mess with fate. . .

245
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,493
it's best to fIy under the radar.

246
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,908
l hope she's single
'cause l don't do break-ups.

247
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,994
Hi. Thank you for seeing me.

248
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,622
Yeah, no. l mean, she just
got out of a relationship.

249
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,084
ls that a problem?
Because if it is, that's fine.

250
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,503
l'm a little uncomfortable
with this anyway.

251
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:49,841
Definitely been hurt a lot.
l had a lot of bad experiences.

252
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,469
Some good ones.
But definitely a lot of bad ones.

253
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:58,224
l'm desperate, basically. l mean,
not in general, you understand?

254
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:02,103
You know, not just for anybody.
But, man, for her. . . . Yeah.

255
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,939
Why don't you tell me about her?

256
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,192
Let's see, what can l say?

257
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:12,196
My company handles her finances.
l'm her tax consultant.

258
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,950
Well, l'm one of them.
l'm the junior man on the account.

259
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,578
-So does she know you're interested?
-No.

260
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916
Alive?

261
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,461
l lent her my pen once.

262
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,213
Shoot. Does anyone have a pen?

263
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,800
-Here, take mine.
-Albert, you're crushing my arm.

264
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,511
Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra.

265
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:41,392
Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?

266
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,270
Yeah, l realise that
l'm not her usual type.

267
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:48,191
Well, her last boyfriend owned
Sweden or something.

268
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:49,984
And that guy was a bum.

269
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,237
He didn't seem like
a very nice person to me.

270
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,324
You swing for the fence.

271
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,827
Look, you don't think l tried
talking myself out of this?

272
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,790
l mean, you don't think l know
how ridiculous this is? l know, okay?

273
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,376
l just thought that
maybe with your help. . . .

274
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,466
You know what?
l'm really sorry l wasted your time.

275
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,938
Hold on a second, Albert.

276
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:33,569
You know what it's like getting up
every morning feeling hopeless?

277
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:37,240
Feeling like the love of your life
is waking up with the wrong man?

278
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:42,286
But at the same time,
hoping that she still finds happiness. . .

279
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,623
even if it's never gonna be with you?

280
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,794
You are flat-out. . .

281
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,840
out of your mind. You know that?

282
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,178
That's good.

283
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,472
lt is?

284
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,725
You ever heard of Michelangelo?

285
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,103
Heard of the Sistine Chapel?

286
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,106
Michelangelo.

287
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,608
Sistine Chapel.

288
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,569
You saying you can do this?

289
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:18,281
My name is Alex Hitchens.
Let's go paint that ceiling.

290
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,270
Take it easy.

291
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,064
Oh, my God !

292
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,488
Well, it looks like l'm still rich.

293
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,454
But what l would really like,
and what l was wondering is. . .

294
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:53,834
if l could have $500,000
to invest on my own.

295
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:59,924
And what were you thinking
of investing in, Allegra?

296
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:06,055
Well, it's something
that l really have a passion for.

297
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,480
Daydreams are for private time.

298
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,024
When you're in the room,
be in the room.

299
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,820
Concentrate. Focus. Women
respond when you respond to them.

300
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:23,864
My friend Maggie
is a talented designer.

301
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:28,619
l've seen the business plan
and the samples look fantastic.

302
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:33,749
And l would really like to get involved.

303
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,006
l'll tell you what.

304
00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:42,341
Let us come up
with a range of investments. . .

305
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,802
that we think you might
be interested in. . .

306
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,556
and next month,
we'll run the whole lot of them by you.

307
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:52,643
Okay.

308
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,313
Fine. Thank you.
All right, gentlemen.

309
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,399
Let's go over this one more time.
What is the objective?

310
00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,942
Shock and awe.

311
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,945
That was shockingly awful.
What is the objective?

312
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,238
Shock and awe.

313
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,741
What is the objective?

314
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,369
-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes, Albert?

315
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:21,213
l don't really agree with that.

316
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,883
You don't really agree with what?

317
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,893
l think if you want to invest $500,000
in your friend's business. . .

318
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,519
that's exactly what you should do.

319
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:38,439
You don't need us
to tell you what to do.

320
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:41,609
We're a board of advisers,
not your kindergarten teachers.

321
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,944
lf you want to be taken seriously
as an adult. . .

322
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,405
then start taking yourself seriously
as an adult. . .

323
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:49,492
instead of asking for permission
to invest your own money. . .

324
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,286
from a boardroom
full of your daddy's golf buddies.

325
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,205
-That's quite enough !
-l'm not finished.

326
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:58,542
l'd like to see anybody in this room
handle the attention and publicity. . .

327
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:02,380
that she's had to deal with her
whole life, with half her class.

328
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:08,761
We should be taking advice from you,
Miss Cole. Not the other way around.

329
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,680
-Sit down--
-No! You know what? l quit!

330
00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:23,442
Oh, my God.

331
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,247
Just breathe. How'd it go?

332
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,959
l yelled at her. l screamed at my boss!
l quit my job!

333
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,253
-What?
-You said. . . .

334
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,131
-l gotta go back.
-No, l didn't tell you to quit.

335
00:23:45,298 --> 00:23:47,007
Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine.

336
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:49,635
-Would you let me go?
-Albert, no!

337
00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:53,848
Just relax! Okay?

338
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,850
Just let it marinate for a second.

339
00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:57,768
-Trust me.
-No!

340
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:10,072
Relax.

341
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,324
-lt's Allegra Cole.
-Answer it.

342
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:16,036
-Could l speak to you a second?
-Answer the door, Albert.

343
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,750
Yes. Hi.

344
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:23,919
What's up?

345
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,172
Listen, Albert, right?

346
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,718
People don't usually
talk to me like that.

347
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:34,597
-Close your mouth, man.
-Let me rephrase that.

348
00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:37,600
People never talk to me like that.

349
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,352
Stand up.

350
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,272
l guess it's kind of scary for them.

351
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:47,985
But that's why l really appreciate
what you did in there.

352
00:24:49,362 --> 00:24:51,238
But l was wondering. . .

353
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:55,618
do you think that you and l could
get together sometime this week?

354
00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:00,372
You know, to go over things.

355
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,042
Financial things.

356
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:07,254
l'd like to see the areas
where l can afford to take some risks.

357
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,757
-Check your schedule.
-l'll check my schedule.

358
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:13,344
Great. Let me give you my number.
Do you have a pen?

359
00:25:13,553 --> 00:25:15,679
l don't think l have one.

360
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,353
-Yes, l do.
-Great.

361
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,367
And call me Allegra.

362
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,664
-You're done.
-Goodbye.

363
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:46,710
Good job.

364
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,631
Oh, damn.

365
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,988
She's some kind
of newspaper columnist.

366
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:16,448
Comes in here once in a while.
Great tipper.

367
00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:17,616
What's her drink?

368
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:21,078
Usually beer.
Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty.

369
00:26:31,339 --> 00:26:32,423
Hi.

370
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:36,010
l noticed your glass was getting low. . .

371
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:39,013
so l took the liberty
of bringing you another apple martini.

372
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,139
Thank you.

373
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,310
And l couldn't help but notice
you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

374
00:26:44,853 --> 00:26:47,354
-What's your name?
-They call me Chip.

375
00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:49,690
You can't get them to stop?

376
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,026
That was funny.

377
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:55,654
Listen, l understand the courage
it takes to walk across a room. . .

378
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:58,282
and try to generate a relationship
out of thin air.

379
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:02,244
-So don't take the following personally.
-You have fantastic eyes.

380
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,539
Thanks. Try to listen.

381
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:09,668
This is no reflection on you.
l'm just not interested.

382
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:12,379
But thank you for the compliment
of coming over.

383
00:27:12,547 --> 00:27:15,466
You're welcome.
So do you like Cuban food?

384
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:20,054
Chip, seriously, that was not code for,
"l wish you'd try harder."

385
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:22,556
Are you always so shut-down
and afraid. . .

386
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,350
that the right man might make you--

387
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:26,602
Feel like a natural woman?

388
00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:30,564
Sorry l'm late, honey. l couldn't
get a cab. How was the meeting?

389
00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:34,401
Well, there was a beginning,
a middle, and an end.

390
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:36,820
Nice to meet you, Chip.

391
00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:43,452
You, too.

392
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,083
On the one hand,
it is very difficult for a man. . .

393
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:51,919
to even speak to someone
who looks like you.

394
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:55,297
But on the other hand,
should that be your problem?

395
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:57,966
So life's kind of hard all around.

396
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,928
Not if you pay attention.

397
00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:04,682
You're sending all the right signals:

398
00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:08,268
no earrings, heels under two inches,
your hair is pulled back. . .

399
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:12,022
wearing reading glasses with no book,
drinking a Grey Goose martini. . .

400
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:15,401
which means you had a hell of a week
and a beer just wouldn't do it.

401
00:28:15,568 --> 00:28:16,860
lf that wasn't clear enough. . .

402
00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:21,115
there's always the "fuck off" that
you have stamped on your forehead.

403
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,075
Who'd believe there's
a man out there. . .

404
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:25,536
that can sit by a woman
he doesn't know. . .

405
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,663
and genuinely be interested
in who she is. . .

406
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:29,748
what she does,
without his own agenda?

407
00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:32,793
l wouldn't even know
what that would look like.

408
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,962
So what would a guy like that say?

409
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:38,465
He'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens
and l'm a consultant."

410
00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:40,467
But she wouldn't be
interested in that. . .

411
00:28:40,635 --> 00:28:43,053
because she'd be counting
the seconds until he left.

412
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,639
Thinking he was like every other guy.

413
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:48,976
Which, life experience has taught her,
is a virtual certainty.

414
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,937
But then he'd ask her name
and what she did for a living. . .

415
00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:54,273
and she might blow him off.

416
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,275
Or she might say. . . .

417
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:04,658
l'm Sara Melas. l run the
gossip column at the Standard.

418
00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:07,786
And then he'd ask all these
penetrating questions about it. . .

419
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:11,123
because he was sincerely,
if atypically, interested.

420
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:12,332
No.

421
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:15,127
-No?
-He'd be interested.

422
00:29:16,504 --> 00:29:18,672
But he'd see that there was no way. . .

423
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,593
he could possibly make her realise
that he was for real.

424
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:27,890
Well, he could be funny and charming
and refreshingly original.

425
00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,142
Wouldn't help.

426
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:33,395
-Don't you hate it when that happens?
-Not really.

427
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:37,191
They'd both probably go on to lead
the lives they were headed toward.

428
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:40,194
My guess is they'd do just fine.

429
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,365
lt's a pleasure to have met you,
Sara Melas.

430
00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:53,874
Grey Goose martini
from the gentleman who just left.

431
00:29:59,214 --> 00:30:00,839
ls that for me?

432
00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:04,802
What?

433
00:30:20,026 --> 00:30:22,319
Vance Munson. Sorry l'm late.

434
00:30:23,279 --> 00:30:26,198
No, not a problem.

435
00:30:27,408 --> 00:30:29,243
Wow, you're the. . . .

436
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:33,872
-Can l get you something to drink, Mr. . . .
-No, l'm fine, thank you.

437
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,874
So, tell me about her.

438
00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:40,003
Have you ever met someone. . .

439
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,923
and you knew right away
she was gonna be important to you?

440
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:46,510
Not just because of her looks,
but that X factor.

441
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:49,012
How'd you meet her?

442
00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:52,516
Actually, l was in a shop
buying pyjamas for my mom.

443
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,518
And by that, of course, you mean. . .

444
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:57,604
you were buying lingerie
for another woman.

445
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,609
Yes. You can't help
where you meet somebody.

446
00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:05,779
And the lingerie is for a woman
l'm no longer seeing.

447
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:08,782
But anyway, the girl l met,
the one l was talking about. . .

448
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:11,618
she's so sweet, funny, Southern.

449
00:31:11,786 --> 00:31:14,788
She gives me her number.
Now she won't return my phone calls.

450
00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:18,625
l don't know what it is about her.
l just can't get her out of my mind.

451
00:31:18,793 --> 00:31:22,796
You know, food has lost its taste.
Colours, they seem dull.

452
00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:26,633
Things that used to matter. . . .
l don't know, they just no longer do.

453
00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:29,803
l think things aren't gonna snap back
unless l. . . .

454
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:33,432
Unless l bang her.

455
00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:37,019
Excuse me?

456
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:42,232
You know, bang her. Clear my head.
Get in, get off, get out.

457
00:31:44,944 --> 00:31:48,238
l think you may have misunderstood
what l do exactly.

458
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:51,074
No, l was told you help guys
get in there.

459
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,118
Right. But, see, here's the thing.

460
00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:56,663
My clients actually like women.

461
00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:01,793
Hit it and quit it is not my thing.

462
00:32:01,961 --> 00:32:05,839
Let me make one thing clear to you,
rabbi. l need professional help.

463
00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,800
Well, that is for damn certain.

464
00:32:09,218 --> 00:32:13,805
And l'm glad you can admit it because
generally that's the hardest part.

465
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:19,895
You see what l'm doing?
This is what l'm about.

466
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,023
Power suit, power tie, power steering.

467
00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:27,235
People can wince, cry, beg,
but eventually they do what l want.

468
00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:31,239
So that's, like, a metaphor.

469
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:36,620
Well, l'm more of a literal kind of guy.

470
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,580
So when l do this. . .

471
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:44,836
this is more like me saying
that l will literally break your shit off. . .

472
00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:47,798
if you ever touch me again.
Okay, pumpkin?

473
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,174
Got it.

474
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,142
No.

475
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,520
Pablo, l can't just mention
your restaurant.

476
00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:03,522
Somebody has to eat there.

477
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:06,608
No, somebody famous.
You know that.

478
00:33:06,859 --> 00:33:08,527
-Sara Melas?
-No.

479
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,029
Okay. Bye.

480
00:33:13,074 --> 00:33:14,950
l need your signature.

481
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:33,760
I hate it when a guy caIIs a girI
who did not give him her number.

482
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:36,346
So this is me not caIIing. Over.

483
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:39,433
Yes, you're right.
This is much less invasive.

484
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,436
l've been thinking about
that sign on your forehead.

485
00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:44,187
And l was wondering if you'd mind. . .

486
00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:46,606
taking it down for dinner
Friday night. Over.

487
00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:50,360
l can't. l have a couple of parties
l have to hit.

488
00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:52,696
Gossip never sIeeps.

489
00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:55,198
Not till about 4:00 a. m.

490
00:33:55,658 --> 00:33:56,992
Saturday.

491
00:33:59,954 --> 00:34:01,496
l have a date.

492
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,876
Do you know the definition
of "perseverance," Miss Melas?

493
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,086
An excuse to be obnoxious?

494
00:34:08,254 --> 00:34:10,255
Continuing in a course of action...

495
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:14,676
without regard to discouragement,
opposition or previous failure. Over.

496
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:17,095
Okay, Webster,
how do l get rid of you?

497
00:34:17,263 --> 00:34:20,182
Breakfast, Sunday. And you can
barely even call that a date.

498
00:34:20,349 --> 00:34:24,227
You do that with out-of-town relatives
that you don't even like. Over.

499
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:29,483
Come on.

500
00:34:31,944 --> 00:34:34,362
Okay, l guess l could do Sunday.

501
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,282
You forgot to say "over." Over.

502
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,786
This conversation's over as soon
as you tell me when and where.

503
00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:43,914
7:00 a. m. , North Cove Marina.
Over and out.

504
00:34:44,332 --> 00:34:48,251
7:00 a. m.? Are you crazy?
l don't do 7:00 a. m.

505
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,588
-Hello?
-Sign here.

506
00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:53,590
-What?
-You said Sunday, right?

507
00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:54,883
Yeah.

508
00:34:57,804 --> 00:35:00,263
What if l would have said Friday?

509
00:35:00,431 --> 00:35:01,640
Sunday.

510
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:08,605
So l guess you're not going to church.

511
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:24,121
Do you really expect me to wear this?

512
00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:28,125
lt'll be awful cold out there without it.

513
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:31,419
-Good morning.
-"Good" would have been at 1 0:00.

514
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,051
You're a lot taller than l remember.

515
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,137
You ever ride one of these?

516
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:41,888
Not on the Hudson.

517
00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:45,058
So, what do you wanna do?
Race me around the Statue of Liberty?

518
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:46,852
lf there's time.

519
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:49,896
-But you might need these.
-All right.

520
00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:51,439
-Bam.
-Wow.

521
00:35:52,608 --> 00:35:54,151
How do l look?

522
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:56,695
Fabulous.

523
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,240
All right, l give.

524
00:36:01,033 --> 00:36:02,701
Where do l change?

525
00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:06,079
So we'll go past the wall,
then take a left.

526
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:08,248
lt's pretty much a straight shot
from there.

527
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:09,416
Straight shot to where?

528
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,585
That's for me to know
and you to find out.

529
00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:13,420
What you do with these babies is--

530
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:16,798
Yeah, what l do with this baby
is kick your ass.

531
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,371
What happened?
You change your mind?

532
00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:31,373
lt just died.

533
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,167
Did you put gas in it?

534
00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:38,672
No. You know, l think it must have
sucked up a diaper or something.

535
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,299
Gross. Try it again.

536
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:46,638
You want me to call AAA?

537
00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:49,266
Come on around
and let me hop on with you.

538
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:53,103
l don't know. What if you break mine,
too? Then we'll both be sitting ducks.

539
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:56,898
-l didn't break it. lt just died.
-Yeah, yeah.

540
00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:59,067
All right, hop on.

541
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,446
-Scoot back.
-Hitch, l'm already here.

542
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:05,699
But you don't know where we're going.

543
00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:08,618
Why don't you tell me?
Then we'll both know.

544
00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:12,998
Man, male egos.

545
00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:15,959
l don't know how you guys
make it through the day with them.

546
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,169
What? lt is not my ego.

547
00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:21,089
l just don't want to ruin the surprise.

548
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:33,935
l'm sorry. Are you all right?

549
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:38,940
There. l always keep
a few of those around.

550
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:40,066
Thank you.

551
00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:44,237
l have lower back trouble. l just
shove the ice packs right down there.

552
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:46,698
No. That's a fresh one.

553
00:38:48,534 --> 00:38:50,243
So, Ellis lsland.

554
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,412
l have to admit,
l have lived in New York. . .

555
00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,581
my whole life
and l've never been here.

556
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,249
l figured that. Most people haven't.

557
00:38:56,417 --> 00:38:59,002
So l got my man Larry here
to set us up a private tour.

558
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,171
-Great!
-Anything for Hitch.

559
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:06,009
lt was originally known
as Oyster lsland.

560
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:08,762
The island was expanded
to its present size. . .

561
00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:10,972
with dirt removed
during the construction. . .

562
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:13,099
of the New York subway system.

563
00:39:13,809 --> 00:39:15,393
-Are you serious?
-Yes.

564
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:18,730
-Did you know this?
-Yeah. That's why l brought you here.

565
00:39:18,898 --> 00:39:23,610
ln fact, over 1 00 million Americans
can trace their ancestry. . .

566
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:27,781
back to a single man, woman, or child
on the ship's manifest. . .

567
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:30,033
to an inspector's ledger.

568
00:39:30,576 --> 00:39:35,538
By 1 91 0,
75% of the residents of New York. . .

569
00:39:35,706 --> 00:39:38,958
Chicago, Detroit,
Cleveland, and Boston. . .

570
00:39:39,126 --> 00:39:41,878
were immigrants,
or the children of immigrants.

571
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:45,548
They generally lived
in the poorest sections of the cities. . .

572
00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:49,803
in Little ltalys, Chinatowns
and other ethnic enclaves.

573
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:52,430
lt's called The Kissing Post.

574
00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:57,310
The plaque explains how different
cultures kiss after long absences.

575
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:01,523
Now, what exactly would qualify
as a long absence?

576
00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:03,441
l mean. . . .

577
00:40:04,276 --> 00:40:06,736
-That count?
-No.

578
00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:14,577
l actually had a relative
come through here.

579
00:40:15,121 --> 00:40:16,663
-Really?
-Yeah.

580
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,999
What?

581
00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:24,087
-What?
-What was that thing?

582
00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:28,716
No. You know, l was just thinking. . .

583
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:31,136
you can't really know
where you're going. . .

584
00:40:31,303 --> 00:40:32,971
until you know where you've been.

585
00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:36,015
-Ain't that right, Larry?
-Amen, brother.

586
00:40:36,183 --> 00:40:39,769
That's kind of deep for a first date,
don't you think?

587
00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,691
What is that?

588
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:05,044
Oh, my God !

589
00:41:11,552 --> 00:41:16,222
That's my great-great-grandfather.
That's his signature.

590
00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:18,433
Jesus, it's right here!

591
00:41:21,395 --> 00:41:23,521
How did you know?

592
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:27,484
Hitch did the search.
l just found the page.

593
00:41:51,133 --> 00:41:52,509
l'm sorry.

594
00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:05,063
l saw that going differently in my mind.

595
00:42:07,399 --> 00:42:11,945
So my family never saw him again.
Well, except for on the Wanted posters.

596
00:42:12,279 --> 00:42:14,697
Look, l'm really sorry.

597
00:42:15,157 --> 00:42:19,160
When l saw it on the computer,
it said, "the Butcher of C diz."

598
00:42:20,829 --> 00:42:25,625
l thought it was a profession,
not a headline.

599
00:42:27,002 --> 00:42:31,714
lt's just one of those horrible family
legacies we've all tried to forget.

600
00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:33,800
But thank you.

601
00:42:33,968 --> 00:42:35,301
No, it was. . . .

602
00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:37,470
-A train wreck.
-No.

603
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:39,138
Let me get you a cab.

604
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:45,228
Thanks.

605
00:42:47,481 --> 00:42:49,440
-Bye.
-Bye-bye.

606
00:42:59,201 --> 00:43:00,368
Taxi !

607
00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:06,499
Poor guy.
Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble.

608
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:11,504
lt was fun. ln a disastrous kind of way.
l mean, this isn't exactly a hickey.

609
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:15,758
At least you got a good story
out of it, right?

610
00:43:18,345 --> 00:43:19,345
Right?

611
00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:23,683
-You should try mine, it's great.
-Wait. You're seeing him again?

612
00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:28,229
Well, look, you said that
l'm always expecting men. . .

613
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:31,441
to let me down, right?
Assuming that they're gonna fail?

614
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,067
Which he did.

615
00:43:33,819 --> 00:43:36,863
Yeah, but he did it with flair.

616
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:41,868
l mean, Case, he really tanked.

617
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:44,287
And that's a desirable trait?

618
00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:47,874
Yeah. Weird, huh?

619
00:43:50,252 --> 00:43:53,129
Now, just keep it simple.
Just like we practiced.

620
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,547
We're just leaving a message.

621
00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:58,301
Women like Allegra Cole don't pick up
numbers they don't recognise.

622
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:02,680
HeIIo?

623
00:44:03,265 --> 00:44:05,058
She's on the phone!

624
00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:09,562
-Yes. Hello, Miss Cole?
-Yeah.

625
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,773
Hi, l have Albert Brennaman for you.

626
00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:14,400
-One moment, please.
-No. Tell her l'm at lunch.

627
00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:17,487
We called her to tell her
you're at lunch?

628
00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:26,120
Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman.

629
00:44:27,247 --> 00:44:28,915
Hi, how are you?

630
00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:31,334
Good. l'm doing good.

631
00:44:31,710 --> 00:44:35,380
The reason l'm calling is about
our appointment this Wednesday.

632
00:44:35,547 --> 00:44:37,507
Not gonna be able to make it.

633
00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:40,468
Well, when can you make it?

634
00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:42,804
When can l do it?

635
00:44:45,974 --> 00:44:49,310
l don't even know, because
my whole next week is slammed.

636
00:44:50,020 --> 00:44:52,730
Right. But it's all good.

637
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:58,277
No, we're gonna make it
happen though, that's for sure.

638
00:44:58,445 --> 00:45:00,988
We're going to make it happen. Yes.

639
00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:10,456
What's going on over there?

640
00:45:10,624 --> 00:45:13,000
Just moving some things around.

641
00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:16,337
Sky Studios.

642
00:45:16,505 --> 00:45:19,841
Tonight l'm actually going
to this fashion thing at Sky Studios.

643
00:45:20,008 --> 00:45:23,344
-Designer friend.
-l just thought it might be something. . .

644
00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:25,430
your designer friend
wouId be interested in.

645
00:45:25,597 --> 00:45:26,889
Yeah, definitely.

646
00:45:27,057 --> 00:45:30,810
Well, great.
Then l will put you back on with my--

647
00:45:49,371 --> 00:45:51,664
-Allegra, over here, please.
-Miss Cole, this way.

648
00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:52,999
Great. One more.

649
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:56,210
-Hi, there.
-This was a fantastic idea.

650
00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:59,130
l suppose. Hey, where's Maggie?

651
00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:01,132
Late as usual.

652
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:07,054
Tonight I want you to meditate
on the image of an iceberg.

653
00:46:07,389 --> 00:46:09,265
Do you know why
I want you to do that?

654
00:46:09,516 --> 00:46:11,184
Because l'm cool?

655
00:46:11,351 --> 00:46:13,186
-No.
-l know, l'm not.

656
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:15,772
l'm saying that you are an iceberg. . .

657
00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:19,942
in that over 90% of your mass
is below the surface.

658
00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:22,695
l know l'm heavy. l am.

659
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:26,199
I'm taIking about who you are.
It's a metaphor.

660
00:46:26,366 --> 00:46:27,700
Accounting, business...

661
00:46:27,868 --> 00:46:32,455
aII of that is just a smaII part
of a much deeper, richer AIbert.

662
00:46:33,665 --> 00:46:34,999
One more.

663
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:37,627
lt's gonna be loud in there. . .

664
00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:40,379
so this is our opportunity
to break the touch barrier. . .

665
00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:41,714
in a non-sIeazy way.

666
00:46:41,882 --> 00:46:44,884
So get to where it's Ioudest.
Ask her if she'd Iike a drink.

667
00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:47,428
Lean in, place your hand
on the small of her back. . .

668
00:46:47,596 --> 00:46:49,347
and say it in her ear like a secret.

669
00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:52,892
Watch your hand pIacement. Too high
says, "I just wanna be friends."

670
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:56,145
Too low says,
"l just wanna grab some ass."

671
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:59,106
Friends. Ass. Me.

672
00:47:04,363 --> 00:47:06,864
Special issues:
Allegra Cole is a celebrity. . .

673
00:47:07,032 --> 00:47:10,451
which means that when people talk
to her, they'll ignore you completely.

674
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,328
She's cIassy, so she'II introduce you.

675
00:47:12,496 --> 00:47:14,497
When she does, shake hands hard
and speak up.

676
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:15,998
Let them know you're there.

677
00:47:16,166 --> 00:47:18,000
Show her you can handle
being her escort.

678
00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:21,337
-Egon, this is Albert.
-How you doing?

679
00:47:21,505 --> 00:47:24,090
-Albert, this is Zak.
-Nice to see you.

680
00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:26,175
These guys are friends with Maggie.

681
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:29,262
-Been to that new Brazilian restaurant?
-No, but l am--

682
00:47:29,429 --> 00:47:32,306
lt's disgusting.
l'm writing an article about it.

683
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:35,434
Did you see the new installation
at MOMA?

684
00:47:35,602 --> 00:47:38,312
-Yes, did you think--
-Disgusting.

685
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:43,359
Women can always tell when
you're not being real with them.

686
00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:47,113
Worst thing you can do is try to fake it,
because you are a great guy.

687
00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:51,409
And you do have something to offer
Allegra that no other man does.

688
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:53,703
What was your name? Eggnog?

689
00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:55,997
Egon.

690
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:57,957
What do you think of the design. . .

691
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,793
of the Jets' new football stadium
on the West Side?

692
00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:03,296
Let me guess. Disgusting?

693
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,507
Think it over. We'll be back.

694
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:11,596
Thank you. l can't stand those guys.

695
00:48:11,763 --> 00:48:13,931
Really? l kind of liked them.

696
00:48:14,099 --> 00:48:16,100
But when all is said and done. . .

697
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:18,728
tonight is not about Allegra.

698
00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:22,481
-lt's not?
-No. Tonight is about Maggie.

699
00:48:22,649 --> 00:48:26,569
A woman's best friend has to sign off
on all big relationship decisions.

700
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:28,321
So you can't afford to mess this up.

701
00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:31,324
Albert, l want you to meet
my friend, Maggie.

702
00:48:31,491 --> 00:48:34,327
Hi, Maggie.
lt's an absolute pleasure to meet you.

703
00:48:34,494 --> 00:48:35,870
l'm Maggie.

704
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:39,916
-No, you're not.
-Actually, l am.

705
00:48:40,375 --> 00:48:43,836
Magnus Forester.
Thank you so much for inviting us.

706
00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:48,841
-You have very soft hands.
-Thank you.

707
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,845
-Wow. So do you.
-Thank you.

708
00:48:53,013 --> 00:48:56,974
So tonight, you focus on one thing
and one thing only.

709
00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,351
Maggie.

710
00:48:58,518 --> 00:49:00,353
Where does your inspiration
come from?

711
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,146
Oh, my God.

712
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:04,357
Anything l see.

713
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:08,736
Something in a magazine,
out on the street. . .

714
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:10,821
in an old movie.

715
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:15,242
The receptive nature of the
creative facility just astounds me.

716
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,203
Anybody want any spring rolls?

717
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:20,957
That's a beautiful tie, by the way.
This whole thing, it just works.

718
00:49:21,124 --> 00:49:22,458
Thank you.

719
00:49:24,002 --> 00:49:26,712
-ls he gay?
-l don't think so.

720
00:49:28,215 --> 00:49:29,382
l like him.

721
00:49:29,549 --> 00:49:34,220
About the deejay. GeneraIIy,
I have a firm no-dancing poIicy.

722
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:37,223
But if she asks, you cannot say no.

723
00:49:37,391 --> 00:49:40,393
l'm not worried about dancing.
But if there are people there--

724
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:44,647
l'm sorry, l hate to be a stickler,
but l need to be thorough.

725
00:49:46,024 --> 00:49:48,567
Show me what you mean
by you're not worried about it.

726
00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:51,445
Trust me.
You know what l'm gonna do.

727
00:49:54,032 --> 00:49:56,659
That's what it's all about,
right there.

728
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:58,786
See how it gets bigger?

729
00:50:01,456 --> 00:50:03,374
Now l'm gonna start the fire.

730
00:50:03,542 --> 00:50:07,253
But the feet are going.
l start the fire, l make the pizza.

731
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:09,296
Hips are always going.

732
00:50:10,382 --> 00:50:11,757
Can't get enough hip.

733
00:50:11,925 --> 00:50:14,385
From there, the Q-Tip.

734
00:50:15,429 --> 00:50:18,806
Q-Tip. Throw it away.

735
00:50:19,516 --> 00:50:22,309
That's not working,
hit them with this.

736
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:33,070
Don't ever. . .

737
00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:35,573
do that again.

738
00:50:36,783 --> 00:50:38,367
Do you hear me?

739
00:50:38,785 --> 00:50:40,953
-Just expressing myself.
-No.

740
00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:45,374
Not like that, you're not, all right?

741
00:50:48,336 --> 00:50:50,337
This is where you live.

742
00:50:50,672 --> 00:50:52,048
Right here.

743
00:50:52,215 --> 00:50:55,217
You live right here, okay?
This is home.

744
00:50:55,802 --> 00:50:57,303
None of this.

745
00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,221
l don't wanna see none of that.

746
00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:01,557
Don't need no pizza.
They got food there.

747
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:13,110
Elbows, 6 inches from the waist,
90-degree angles.

748
00:51:13,278 --> 00:51:15,696
Don't you bite your lip. Stop it.

749
00:51:35,175 --> 00:51:38,219
Women relate dancing to sex,
all right?

750
00:51:38,386 --> 00:51:41,722
Even a great dancer can lose it
with one of these.

751
00:51:42,390 --> 00:51:45,434
Okay, now that's what
l need to be learning.

752
00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:57,613
Can't stop it.

753
00:51:58,031 --> 00:52:00,241
You cannot stop it.

754
00:52:02,327 --> 00:52:03,828
Next subject.

755
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:06,872
Get out.

756
00:52:11,753 --> 00:52:13,003
Thanks.

757
00:52:13,421 --> 00:52:15,548
So, are you a Knicks fan?

758
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,301
When they're good.

759
00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:28,018
-l'm really sorry.
-Oh, God. Why?

760
00:52:29,271 --> 00:52:32,022
-She was there?
-l left you a bunch of messages.

761
00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:33,774
My phone fell in the Hudson.

762
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:35,693
Yeah, well, it gets worse.

763
00:52:39,072 --> 00:52:41,490
-l don't believe this.
-l thought he was a bodyguard.

764
00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:44,577
l'm the only one
who will need protection.

765
00:52:44,744 --> 00:52:47,580
-Max is gonna--
-Gonna be really irritated.

766
00:52:47,747 --> 00:52:52,084
When l got the train this morning,
l thought it was gonna be a good day.

767
00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:54,712
Who the hell is Albert Brennaman?

768
00:52:55,088 --> 00:52:56,297
Tell me how this happened.

769
00:52:56,464 --> 00:52:58,299
What? There were
some photographers.

770
00:52:58,466 --> 00:53:00,926
Does this even look
like dancing to you?

771
00:53:01,094 --> 00:53:02,928
That's just a little bit of me
being me.

772
00:53:03,096 --> 00:53:07,641
No, that's you being a lot of something
you don't need to ever be again.

773
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:09,935
-lt's just one dance.
-No.

774
00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:14,690
One dance, one look, one kiss.
That's all we get, Albert.

775
00:53:14,858 --> 00:53:17,359
Just one shot to make the difference. . .

776
00:53:17,527 --> 00:53:20,279
between happily ever after and:

777
00:53:20,447 --> 00:53:24,074
"Oh, he's just some guy
l went to some thing with once."

778
00:53:24,951 --> 00:53:26,368
All right?

779
00:53:31,625 --> 00:53:34,418
-What?
-You said "kiss."

780
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:38,797
ls that a problem?

781
00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:41,425
lt's not a problem,
but this is Allegra Cole.

782
00:53:41,593 --> 00:53:44,345
Eight out of 1 0 women believe
that the first kiss. . .

783
00:53:44,512 --> 00:53:47,640
will tell them everything they need
to know about a relationship.

784
00:53:47,807 --> 00:53:51,227
And believe me,
she has definitely thought about it.

785
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,854
-She has?
-Of course.

786
00:53:54,022 --> 00:53:57,900
Not that she's gonna act on it.
So it's no real big deal.

787
00:53:58,151 --> 00:54:01,153
-All right, it's no big deal then.
-lt's a very big deal !

788
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,571
-Huge.
-Monumental !

789
00:54:02,739 --> 00:54:04,698
You are not listening. . . .

790
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,160
l need you to wrap
your head around this.

791
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,413
Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole. . .

792
00:54:11,581 --> 00:54:15,251
could have her last first kiss.

793
00:54:26,137 --> 00:54:28,847
All right, come on,
just show me what you got.

794
00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:32,393
-What do you mean?
-Just show me how you would kiss me.

795
00:54:32,727 --> 00:54:34,186
l wouldn't kiss you.

796
00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:36,355
l'm not me, l'm Allegra.

797
00:54:38,608 --> 00:54:40,317
But you're really not, so. . . .

798
00:54:40,485 --> 00:54:44,321
Okay, Albert, end of the night,
you're dropping me off at home.

799
00:54:44,489 --> 00:54:47,032
-Show me the magic.
-l'm not comfortable with this.

800
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:50,703
God, Albert,
l had such a wonderful time with you.

801
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:53,247
Yeah, how about those Knicks?

802
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:58,043
You see what l'm doing? This is
a signal. l'm fiddling with my keys.

803
00:54:58,211 --> 00:54:59,795
A woman that doesn't want a kiss. . .

804
00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:02,798
takes her keys out, puts them
in the door, goes in the house.

805
00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:05,384
A woman that wants to kiss,
she fiddles.

806
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:07,678
l'm fiddling.

807
00:55:07,846 --> 00:55:10,472
Okay, you have a good night now--

808
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,225
-You see what l'm doing?
-Robbing me?

809
00:55:13,393 --> 00:55:14,476
No.

810
00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:17,813
This is what most guys do.
They rush in to take the kiss.

811
00:55:17,981 --> 00:55:20,065
But you're not most guys.

812
00:55:20,233 --> 00:55:24,320
See, the secret to a kiss
is to go 90% of the way. . .

813
00:55:25,488 --> 00:55:27,031
and then hold.

814
00:55:31,619 --> 00:55:34,246
-For how long?
-As long as it takes. . .

815
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:36,206
for her to come the other 1 0%.

816
00:55:36,374 --> 00:55:38,208
Okay, 90%-1 0%. Got it.

817
00:55:38,376 --> 00:55:42,004
Okay, come on. Shake it off.
lt's your turn.

818
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,385
l had a really nice time tonight, Albert.

819
00:55:50,472 --> 00:55:54,016
l had a great time tonight, too,
Allegra. . .

820
00:55:55,643 --> 00:55:57,144
with a beard.

821
00:56:30,512 --> 00:56:31,887
What's up?

822
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:35,224
-l'm not feeling it.
-What do you mean? l came 90%.

823
00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:37,393
l'm not feeling like you want it.

824
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:42,064
Look, l'm Allegra Cole,
the woman of your dreams.

825
00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:45,943
The woman whose green eyes
are limpid pools of desire.

826
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,612
Now, show me the magic, Albert.

827
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:51,156
-What the hell was that?
-l'm showing you the magic!

828
00:56:51,324 --> 00:56:53,325
No, l said come 90%
and then l come 1 0% !

829
00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:55,119
You don't go the whole 1 00% !

830
00:56:55,286 --> 00:56:58,789
My mouth was open, Albert.
You overeager son of a. . . .

831
00:57:02,210 --> 00:57:04,086
Other than that, how was it?

832
00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:08,298
They came together, they danced
together, and they left together.

833
00:57:08,466 --> 00:57:10,843
He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way.

834
00:57:11,010 --> 00:57:13,303
For all l know, he's adorable.

835
00:57:13,471 --> 00:57:15,681
But him dating her is. . . .

836
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,349
You seem stressed.

837
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:19,184
You and l had an understanding.

838
00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:21,854
lf you invite Allegra,
you're supposed to call me.

839
00:57:22,021 --> 00:57:23,480
l didn't invite her.

840
00:57:23,648 --> 00:57:26,191
Honestly, sweetie,
l thought she was still in Europe.

841
00:57:26,359 --> 00:57:28,694
-So you invited Albert?
-No.

842
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:33,365
Look, it says here the tickets went
to some guy named Alex Hitchens.

843
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:34,658
What?

844
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,212
Machine.

845
00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:52,301
Hi, it's Sara.

846
00:57:55,513 --> 00:57:58,390
l just wanted to say thank you. . .

847
00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:03,270
for an unforgettable experience. . .

848
00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:05,105
the other day.

849
00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:08,984
And if you ever want to see
your shirt again. . .

850
00:58:09,152 --> 00:58:12,863
you can come by the Fulton Fish
Market tonight, around 8:00.

851
00:58:13,031 --> 00:58:15,032
Okay, bye.

852
00:58:18,578 --> 00:58:20,954
-Do you think he'll show?
-Yeah.

853
00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:24,249
He's too much of a player
to have a bad date on his record.

854
00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:27,294
ls this a source or a date?

855
00:58:28,463 --> 00:58:29,796
A source.

856
00:58:30,757 --> 00:58:33,050
Well, it sounded like a date.

857
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,594
Well, it was supposed to.

858
00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:41,558
So it looks like a date
and it sounds like a date. . .

859
00:58:41,726 --> 00:58:44,853
-but it's not a date.
-Yeah. Right.

860
00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:47,564
Just checking.

861
00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:10,003
Hi. l wasn't sure you got my message.

862
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:15,092
l wasn't sure you called the right guy.
You must be a glutton for punishment.

863
00:59:15,343 --> 00:59:18,262
Either that or l really
wanna pay you back.

864
00:59:18,429 --> 00:59:20,514
l think this is yours.

865
00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:24,643
Thank you. l'm gonna frame
this for my wall of shame.

866
00:59:25,019 --> 00:59:27,104
Really? There's a whole wall?

867
00:59:27,313 --> 00:59:29,189
So what are we getting into?

868
00:59:31,442 --> 00:59:33,402
Ever been to a food rave before?

869
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:37,447
Happens once a month, all around the
city. Different chefs, different venues.

870
00:59:37,615 --> 00:59:38,824
You any good in the kitchen?

871
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:41,326
l can stand the heat,
if that's what you mean.

872
00:59:41,494 --> 00:59:45,247
Good. Because that's my boss
and his wife right over there.

873
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:46,832
lnteresting.

874
00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:50,961
Well, here's a concept:
We're paying to cook our own food.

875
00:59:51,129 --> 00:59:54,214
Here's another concept:
Shut up. lt's an evening out.

876
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:56,633
The longer you're married,
the less you go out.

877
00:59:56,801 --> 00:59:58,677
ln a couple of years,
we're gonna end up. . .

878
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:01,680
bricked into our apartment
like a Poe story.

879
01:00:01,931 --> 01:00:04,683
So, Louise, are you
in the newspaper business, also?

880
01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:06,810
No, l'm a psychiatrist.

881
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:10,939
Well, that's the last thing
l'm gonna say tonight.

882
01:00:11,733 --> 01:00:15,277
So, Sara, you never told me.

883
01:00:15,528 --> 01:00:19,364
How was the Sky Studio fashion thing
you went to the other night?

884
01:00:19,532 --> 01:00:23,035
Did you meet anyone
worth mentioning?

885
01:00:23,202 --> 01:00:24,286
No.

886
01:00:25,955 --> 01:00:29,708
Really? l find that very odd.

887
01:00:30,209 --> 01:00:32,502
-Max.
-l think you're being odd.

888
01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:36,089
Well, l'm always odd.
lt's why you married me.

889
01:00:36,257 --> 01:00:38,425
And it's why l married you.

890
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:41,053
Speaking of which, Hitch. . .

891
01:00:41,220 --> 01:00:45,057
what exactly are your intentions
for the lovely Sara?

892
01:00:45,224 --> 01:00:48,477
Wait, you know what?
Actually, there was someone.

893
01:00:50,938 --> 01:00:53,690
l think l met your friends
Albert and Allegra.

894
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:57,194
-My friends who and who?
-Allegra Cole?

895
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:59,571
Really? How do you know her?

896
01:01:00,948 --> 01:01:03,241
-l don't.
-So you know Albert?

897
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:06,787
-Knew.
-He had your tickets.

898
01:01:06,954 --> 01:01:10,374
l mean, how well do you really
know your accountant?

899
01:01:11,542 --> 01:01:15,462
April 1 5, and then you don't
see him again till April 1 5.

900
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,256
Ladies and gentlemen. . .

901
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:21,593
a coquille St. Jacques
with a lemon butter reduction.

902
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,845
-Compliments of our chef.
-Thank you.

903
01:01:24,013 --> 01:01:26,515
l'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this.

904
01:01:33,981 --> 01:01:35,774
That's really good.

905
01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:38,318
l'm very impressed.

906
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:41,196
Why is that?

907
01:01:41,739 --> 01:01:43,865
Around these two,
people usually can't wait. . .

908
01:01:44,033 --> 01:01:46,451
to name-drop
and dish their friends. . .

909
01:01:46,619 --> 01:01:48,078
and you're being all discreet.

910
01:01:48,246 --> 01:01:50,330
Yeah, it's quite endearing.

911
01:01:50,498 --> 01:01:53,917
Actually, it is.
So why don't we change the subject?

912
01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:58,755
-Are you all right?
-Yeah. No, l'm fine.

913
01:01:59,549 --> 01:02:03,510
So Sara tells me
that you're a consultant, Hitch.

914
01:02:04,053 --> 01:02:08,849
Yeah, mostly marketing, little
advertising, brand management.

915
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:12,144
l have no idea what that means.

916
01:02:12,311 --> 01:02:15,147
No one does.
That's why l get to charge so much.

917
01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:21,653
Are you sure you're all right?

918
01:02:21,821 --> 01:02:25,991
Yeah, l'm fine.
ls it itchy in here or is it just me?

919
01:02:26,659 --> 01:02:29,745
-l know what's happening.
-No.

920
01:02:30,121 --> 01:02:31,997
You think that l'm in a stressful state. . .

921
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:34,332
because l'm trying to make
a good impression. . .

922
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:37,669
while also dealing
with my commitment issues. . .

923
01:02:38,963 --> 01:02:42,215
trying to avoid
all these awkward conversations.

924
01:02:42,508 --> 01:02:45,177
No, l think you have food allergies.

925
01:02:48,514 --> 01:02:50,015
-Wow.
-What?

926
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,686
-Benadryl. Where's the Benadryl?
-Aisle 2.

927
01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:57,522
-Which one's Aisle 2?
-The one with the big 2 over it.

928
01:02:57,690 --> 01:02:59,191
Sara, l'm fine.

929
01:02:59,358 --> 01:03:01,485
-You sure it's in Aisle 2?
-No.

930
01:03:01,652 --> 01:03:03,987
Really, it is not that serious.

931
01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:09,034
Benadryl.

932
01:03:10,161 --> 01:03:13,455
-A lot of Benadryl. A lot.
-What? Are you. . . .

933
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,555
Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf!

934
01:03:34,977 --> 01:03:36,269
Come on !

935
01:03:47,323 --> 01:03:49,157
Okay, we're doing fine.

936
01:03:49,325 --> 01:03:52,202
Just a couple more blocks
and you get to lie down.

937
01:04:00,628 --> 01:04:02,712
Wait, who sings that song again?

938
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:04,548
Oh, girl. Earth, Wind and Fire.

939
01:04:04,715 --> 01:04:06,925
You should let them sing it.

940
01:04:10,137 --> 01:04:13,890
l bet this would be great on the rocks.
lt's good, right?

941
01:04:16,310 --> 01:04:19,479
l bet l can ask you
just about anything right now.

942
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:20,689
No.

943
01:04:21,148 --> 01:04:23,525
l'm a vault, baby. Locked down.

944
01:04:25,069 --> 01:04:28,530
What is an heiress doing with a CPA?

945
01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:31,283
They're going to the Knicks game.

946
01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:33,451
Yep, Fort Knox.

947
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:37,831
He loves her so much !

948
01:04:38,374 --> 01:04:40,333
l'm sure he does.

949
01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:44,796
l'm telling you, people search
their whole lives trying to find the. . . .

950
01:04:44,964 --> 01:04:48,174
Reasons that we're here

951
01:04:49,051 --> 01:04:50,719
l wouldn't know.

952
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:53,138
You would if you saw it.

953
01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:56,975
Sometimes it's really hard
to see the forest through the sleaze.

954
01:04:57,977 --> 01:05:00,729
What about you?
You ever been in love?

955
01:05:05,568 --> 01:05:06,735
Yep.

956
01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:13,450
But you're never gonna know that.

957
01:05:16,495 --> 01:05:19,789
Okay, l think you've had enough
of the juice box.

958
01:05:22,209 --> 01:05:23,585
Let's go.

959
01:05:30,509 --> 01:05:32,302
This is some place.

960
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:35,430
You live here alone?

961
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:41,353
Yeah. l actually prefer it that way.
What about you?

962
01:05:41,979 --> 01:05:44,105
l haven't had a roommate
since college. . .

963
01:05:44,273 --> 01:05:46,107
and he upped
and married my sister.

964
01:05:46,275 --> 01:05:47,275
Really?

965
01:05:47,443 --> 01:05:49,486
Yeah, they're gonna
have a baby soon.

966
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,112
Uncle Hitch.

967
01:05:52,740 --> 01:05:54,115
Thank you.

968
01:06:00,122 --> 01:06:03,083
-So, how do you feel?
-Good.

969
01:06:04,418 --> 01:06:05,710
Relaxed.

970
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,631
So what about you? Any siblings?

971
01:06:11,217 --> 01:06:15,136
Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C.

972
01:06:17,390 --> 01:06:18,974
Younger, right?

973
01:06:21,686 --> 01:06:24,020
l could hear it in your voice.

974
01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:28,566
Sort of an innate protective thing.

975
01:06:30,736 --> 01:06:32,278
Yeah, l guess.

976
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,285
What?

977
01:06:42,456 --> 01:06:44,332
She almost died once.

978
01:06:48,921 --> 01:06:50,296
l was 1 0.

979
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:02,100
We were skating on the pond
behind our house. . .

980
01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:04,561
and she fell through the ice.

981
01:07:06,355 --> 01:07:08,273
My dad pulled her out.

982
01:07:12,028 --> 01:07:14,070
Gave her mouth-to-mouth.

983
01:07:17,283 --> 01:07:19,784
Longest three minutes of my life.

984
01:07:21,620 --> 01:07:23,204
Yeah, l'm sure.

985
01:07:29,420 --> 01:07:32,589
l don't think l've ever
really gotten over it.

986
01:07:35,718 --> 01:07:38,970
Kind of defines you, doesn't it?

987
01:07:43,976 --> 01:07:48,605
You know like,
one moment you're gliding along. . .

988
01:07:49,940 --> 01:07:54,402
the next moment you're standing in
the rain watching your life fall apart.

989
01:07:55,946 --> 01:07:57,739
Except it was snow.

990
01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:02,035
Yeah. That's what l said, "snow."

991
01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:05,997
You said "rain."

992
01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:10,001
Some kind of precipitation.

993
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:17,092
ls that what happened to you?

994
01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:24,724
Nothing as dramatic
as falling through the ice.

995
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:29,979
You know. . .

996
01:08:31,315 --> 01:08:32,857
it definitely. . . .

997
01:08:36,612 --> 01:08:38,071
Left a scar?

998
01:08:40,324 --> 01:08:41,491
Yeah.

999
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:57,674
l guess it's best
just not to love at all, right?

1000
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:03,304
Or skate.

1001
01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:32,876
Are you here?

1002
01:09:41,886 --> 01:09:46,931
Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron !
What the hell did you think?

1003
01:09:47,099 --> 01:09:50,185
You're so stupid !
You gotta learn, Sara.

1004
01:09:50,352 --> 01:09:53,521
-When are you gonna learn--
-Should l come back later?

1005
01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:58,651
Hi. l thought you left.

1006
01:09:58,861 --> 01:10:03,489
Well, l did, but then
l came back with breakfast.

1007
01:10:04,408 --> 01:10:07,619
l figured it was the least
that l could do.

1008
01:10:09,246 --> 01:10:11,956
l didn't know what you were drinking. . .

1009
01:10:12,124 --> 01:10:16,836
so l got a grande cap, a latte,
an Earl Grey tea. . .

1010
01:10:17,004 --> 01:10:19,756
and something with "chai" in the title.

1011
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:22,467
Tea for me.

1012
01:10:22,635 --> 01:10:25,345
Tea. Yes! l was hoping you'd say that.

1013
01:10:28,307 --> 01:10:31,601
Oh, God.
You're a morning person, aren't you?

1014
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:35,980
Well, like l always tell my clients:

1015
01:10:36,148 --> 01:10:39,400
Begin each day
as if it were on purpose.

1016
01:10:46,825 --> 01:10:48,952
-Wow. Beautiful day.
-Yeah.

1017
01:10:50,621 --> 01:10:53,081
-Beautiful girl.
-Thank you.

1018
01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:56,876
Well, l'm this way.

1019
01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:59,712
l'm that way.

1020
01:11:01,006 --> 01:11:03,591
Give me a ring sometime.

1021
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,928
l mean, on the phone.

1022
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:12,183
No, l definitely will.

1023
01:11:14,770 --> 01:11:15,937
Good.

1024
01:11:45,217 --> 01:11:47,051
l gotta go to work.

1025
01:11:56,770 --> 01:11:57,937
Bye.

1026
01:12:00,482 --> 01:12:01,774
Goodbye.

1027
01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:30,219
Can you believe
what a beautiful day it is. . .

1028
01:12:30,387 --> 01:12:31,596
not?

1029
01:12:31,764 --> 01:12:34,891
-What's wrong, pumpkin?
-l'm so stupid.

1030
01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:37,769
l ignored your advice.
l went on that date.

1031
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:39,228
With who?

1032
01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:41,481
Not the lingerie guy.

1033
01:12:41,648 --> 01:12:44,942
Vance Munson. And you're right,
there's no way he ever had a mother.

1034
01:12:45,110 --> 01:12:46,444
That bad?

1035
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:50,948
He took me to Scalinatella,
and he was affectionate and sweet.

1036
01:12:51,408 --> 01:12:54,786
He told me all these intimate things,
like how he can't taste food. . .

1037
01:12:54,953 --> 01:12:56,412
and he wants three kids.

1038
01:12:56,580 --> 01:12:58,456
So you slept with him.

1039
01:12:58,874 --> 01:13:01,084
l never seen anybody
get dressed that fast.

1040
01:13:01,251 --> 01:13:03,002
Case, l'm so sorry.

1041
01:13:04,838 --> 01:13:08,216
-Maybe l'll just die alone after all.
-No, you won't.

1042
01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:10,551
You'll meet a great guy
with a great smile. . .

1043
01:13:10,719 --> 01:13:12,720
and you'll travel the world together.

1044
01:13:12,888 --> 01:13:14,972
Who are you?
Where's my best friend?

1045
01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:18,309
lt's true. He just hasn't found you yet.
But he will.

1046
01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:22,146
Just as he's leaving, guess what
he says: "Date Doctor, my ass."

1047
01:13:22,314 --> 01:13:25,149
-What does that mean?
-lt means he's really out there.

1048
01:13:25,317 --> 01:13:29,654
And if l ever meet him, the only date
he's gonna need is with a real doctor.

1049
01:13:41,792 --> 01:13:43,167
That's him.

1050
01:13:43,335 --> 01:13:45,461
Vance, is that you?

1051
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:49,048
Yeah, hey there, beautiful.

1052
01:13:49,216 --> 01:13:50,633
Sara Melas, from the Standard.

1053
01:13:50,801 --> 01:13:53,177
l'd like to discuss
the dating consultant you hired. . .

1054
01:13:53,345 --> 01:13:56,055
before you went out
with Casey Sedgewick.

1055
01:13:59,059 --> 01:14:02,437
You don't wanna talk, that's fine.
l'm going to write this anyway.

1056
01:14:02,604 --> 01:14:05,356
You just earned yourself a photo
with a boldface caption.

1057
01:14:05,524 --> 01:14:06,858
What? Nice.

1058
01:14:07,025 --> 01:14:10,778
l can only imagine how the trading
floor guys will react when they see this.

1059
01:14:10,946 --> 01:14:12,613
You have no proof, no facts.

1060
01:14:12,781 --> 01:14:15,450
Vance, l'm a gossip columnist,
not the DA.

1061
01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:18,327
Okay, how much will it cost me
to stay out of this?

1062
01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:20,204
l don't want money. l want a name.

1063
01:14:20,372 --> 01:14:23,207
-l don't know his name.
-Well, what do you know?

1064
01:14:25,627 --> 01:14:27,086
l know this.

1065
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:35,511
All this for a lousy lay.

1066
01:14:35,971 --> 01:14:37,680
Are we satisfied?

1067
01:14:39,016 --> 01:14:40,266
Almost.

1068
01:14:44,062 --> 01:14:46,981
No, you. . . . You got to be. . . .

1069
01:14:52,821 --> 01:14:54,739
ls this really necessary?

1070
01:14:54,907 --> 01:14:56,324
Have you seen your back?

1071
01:14:56,492 --> 01:15:00,661
No, but l see my front and maybe we
should be starting with some sit-ups.

1072
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:02,705
God ! Mother of Troy!

1073
01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:07,460
Hello?

1074
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:12,673
That's crazy. Just hearing
your voice makes me smile.

1075
01:15:12,841 --> 01:15:14,091
How are you?

1076
01:15:14,259 --> 01:15:16,427
l'm good, l think.

1077
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:20,181
No, actually, you know what?
l feel a little strange.

1078
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:23,684
l'm good.

1079
01:15:25,062 --> 01:15:26,437
Sweet Georgia Brown !

1080
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:27,688
What was that?

1081
01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:30,900
No, that's just some guy screaming.

1082
01:15:32,027 --> 01:15:33,861
Listen, is there any context. . .

1083
01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:36,405
under which you'd consider
facial edema. . .

1084
01:15:36,573 --> 01:15:39,116
and pharmaceutical intervention
a date?

1085
01:15:40,410 --> 01:15:41,786
Probably not.

1086
01:15:41,954 --> 01:15:43,204
How about a do-over?

1087
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,290
-What do you have in mind?
-Dinner, my pIace.

1088
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:50,670
Because obviously going anywhere
public with you is out of the question.

1089
01:15:50,921 --> 01:15:53,756
God ! That's it.
l don't like you very much.

1090
01:15:53,924 --> 01:15:55,258
What is that?

1091
01:15:55,425 --> 01:15:56,634
Wait, l'm getting up.

1092
01:15:56,969 --> 01:15:59,303
lt's like one of those
makeover shows.

1093
01:15:59,471 --> 01:16:01,556
-That's a makeover show?
-lt's Danish.

1094
01:16:01,723 --> 01:16:03,391
Almost done!

1095
01:16:04,393 --> 01:16:05,643
Friday?

1096
01:16:05,852 --> 01:16:10,606
Can't. l told a friend l'd go speed
dating. You know, for moral support.

1097
01:16:10,857 --> 01:16:12,441
But tomorrow l'm free.

1098
01:16:13,777 --> 01:16:15,736
Great. All right, 8:00?

1099
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:16,988
Great.

1100
01:16:17,155 --> 01:16:19,949
-All right. Bye-bye.
-Bye.

1101
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:28,499
-See, it wasn't so bad, was it?
-God !

1102
01:16:32,879 --> 01:16:35,423
BaII is back in pIay
after a 20-second timeout.

1103
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:39,719
Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 1 2-6,
here earIy in the first quarter.

1104
01:16:49,479 --> 01:16:52,523
-So this is what this feels like?
-"This" being?

1105
01:16:52,691 --> 01:16:54,775
Great seats, great game.

1106
01:16:56,403 --> 01:16:58,279
Great date.

1107
01:17:00,449 --> 01:17:02,116
l mean, sort of.

1108
01:17:02,743 --> 01:17:05,494
To me, it feels like a. . . .

1109
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:07,788
-Date?
-Yeah.

1110
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:16,047
Look at her. She looks so happy.

1111
01:17:16,256 --> 01:17:19,383
How does a guy like that end up
with a girl like her?

1112
01:17:24,931 --> 01:17:28,059
l am so jealous. l've always
wanted to be able to do that.

1113
01:17:28,226 --> 01:17:31,520
Really? Tonight is your lucky night.
Let's see what you got.

1114
01:17:31,688 --> 01:17:33,356
Okay. You ready?

1115
01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:39,403
-Oh, God. l'm sorry.
-lt's fine.

1116
01:17:39,571 --> 01:17:41,739
Knicks off to a great start....

1117
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:43,366
All right, here's how it works.

1118
01:17:43,533 --> 01:17:48,037
Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon,
by the sea lions.

1119
01:17:48,914 --> 01:17:50,831
No, don't worry. l'll find you.

1120
01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:53,000
All right. Thank you.

1121
01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,854
lt's all right. l'm sorry.

1122
01:18:14,189 --> 01:18:15,564
Damn me.

1123
01:18:19,986 --> 01:18:22,405
That was it! You got it. Do it again.

1124
01:18:24,074 --> 01:18:26,075
Look how cute they are.

1125
01:18:56,773 --> 01:18:58,023
Thanks.

1126
01:19:14,374 --> 01:19:16,959
l had a great time tonight, Albert.

1127
01:19:17,669 --> 01:19:20,421
l had a great time, too, Allegra.

1128
01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:42,568
Good night.

1129
01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:44,820
Good night, Albert.

1130
01:19:58,043 --> 01:20:00,252
-Allegra.
-Yes?

1131
01:20:04,424 --> 01:20:05,716
Hold on.

1132
01:20:27,864 --> 01:20:29,573
l like your lips.

1133
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,830
They seem to like you, too.

1134
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:47,299
Good night.

1135
01:21:23,461 --> 01:21:25,713
-Anything?
-Not yet.

1136
01:21:26,464 --> 01:21:29,258
But l got some great shots
of you biting your nails.

1137
01:21:29,426 --> 01:21:31,385
Well, it's a big story.

1138
01:21:32,721 --> 01:21:34,263
-lncoming.
-Really?

1139
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:35,639
Yep. They're shaking hands.

1140
01:21:35,807 --> 01:21:38,142
This is so great.
l can't wait to nail this guy.

1141
01:21:38,310 --> 01:21:40,269
Make sure you get
a good shot of his face.

1142
01:21:40,437 --> 01:21:42,813
-What's he look like?
-Tall, dark, and handsome.

1143
01:21:42,981 --> 01:21:44,565
Basic principles:

1144
01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:47,067
No matter what, no matter who,
no matter when.

1145
01:21:47,235 --> 01:21:48,903
This is killing me.

1146
01:21:49,070 --> 01:21:50,654
Geoff is managing to play it straight.

1147
01:21:50,822 --> 01:21:52,615
How long have you been
in love with her?

1148
01:21:52,782 --> 01:21:56,452
Her? About two-and-a-half years.

1149
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:00,539
Take a look.

1150
01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:11,300
-How'd you get my card?
-Albert Brennaman.

1151
01:22:11,635 --> 01:22:14,261
-Great guy, isn't he?
-Excellent guy.

1152
01:22:16,056 --> 01:22:17,514
What? Sara.

1153
01:22:23,772 --> 01:22:27,024
-Pleasure to meet you, Geoff.
-Hey, what. . . .

1154
01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:35,240
-How'd you get my card?
-AIbert Brennaman.

1155
01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:38,077
-Great guy, isn't he?
-ExceIIent guy.

1156
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:42,122
You sure you want to do this?

1157
01:22:42,290 --> 01:22:43,874
Why wouldn't l?

1158
01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:51,298
Louise made an interesting observation
on the way home the other night.

1159
01:22:52,384 --> 01:22:55,886
She said people who are guarded
are afraid. . .

1160
01:22:56,888 --> 01:22:58,847
that you can see right through them.

1161
01:22:59,015 --> 01:23:03,268
That's why they hide behind
layers of secrecy or humour.

1162
01:23:03,436 --> 01:23:07,398
He'll have to hide behind a lot more
than that once this hits the fan.

1163
01:23:07,565 --> 01:23:09,108
She meant you.

1164
01:23:14,114 --> 01:23:16,281
What do you want me to say?

1165
01:23:17,075 --> 01:23:21,286
That l like the guy?
Yeah, sure, l liked the guy.

1166
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:25,457
Well, here's his shirt.

1167
01:23:27,502 --> 01:23:31,505
-Why don't you think about it? Call me.
-Thanks.

1168
01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:45,728
Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you.

1169
01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:50,858
Thanks a lot, Raoul. Send her up.
And stop calling me papi.

1170
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:05,205
Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.

1171
01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:08,834
l believe this belongs to you.

1172
01:24:12,839 --> 01:24:15,466
Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny.

1173
01:24:15,633 --> 01:24:16,759
Wow!

1174
01:24:17,844 --> 01:24:19,386
So this is it.

1175
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:21,764
Yeah, this is it.

1176
01:24:23,558 --> 01:24:25,476
Business must be good.

1177
01:24:26,102 --> 01:24:28,729
Well, it has its rewards.

1178
01:24:30,523 --> 01:24:31,899
l'll bet.

1179
01:24:33,318 --> 01:24:34,693
Tough day?

1180
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:37,529
You could say that.

1181
01:24:38,490 --> 01:24:41,617
Well, you know what?
You can just sit back and relax.

1182
01:24:41,785 --> 01:24:43,786
l got this all covered.

1183
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:49,291
Spanish wine!

1184
01:24:51,044 --> 01:24:53,670
How thoughtful are we?

1185
01:24:53,838 --> 01:24:56,715
-Here, let me pour that for you.
-No, that's okay.

1186
01:24:57,300 --> 01:25:00,052
-You want some?
-Sure.

1187
01:25:01,805 --> 01:25:03,972
So, Hitch.

1188
01:25:04,599 --> 01:25:08,018
ls that a noun or a verb?

1189
01:25:10,688 --> 01:25:12,481
l guess it depends.

1190
01:25:14,567 --> 01:25:18,403
Let's see, what should we toast to?

1191
01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:24,493
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.

1192
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:29,206
But if you must lie,
lie in the arms of the one you love.

1193
01:25:29,582 --> 01:25:32,501
lf you must steal,
steal away from bad company.

1194
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:35,420
lf you must cheat, cheat death.

1195
01:25:36,297 --> 01:25:38,048
And if you must drink. . .

1196
01:25:38,216 --> 01:25:41,510
drink in the moments
that take your breath away.

1197
01:25:43,721 --> 01:25:45,848
Did you just make that up?

1198
01:25:57,735 --> 01:25:59,611
Make yourself at home.

1199
01:25:59,779 --> 01:26:02,156
l'm gonna check on the risotto.

1200
01:26:03,867 --> 01:26:07,119
Look at this! Which one's the music?

1201
01:26:14,419 --> 01:26:16,253
lt does lights, too?

1202
01:26:18,381 --> 01:26:20,883
Let me help you out with that.

1203
01:26:21,050 --> 01:26:23,719
Now, this is nifty.

1204
01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:26,930
What are you doing?

1205
01:26:27,098 --> 01:26:29,224
How does it work, exactly?

1206
01:26:30,810 --> 01:26:35,772
Well, usually you have dinner,
then you have dessert.

1207
01:26:36,608 --> 01:26:39,985
No, l mean your thriving business.

1208
01:26:44,407 --> 01:26:46,325
l don't do interviews.

1209
01:26:47,744 --> 01:26:51,455
But if you'd like to get back to the
evening, l'd be happy to sit and talk.

1210
01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:53,540
Great idea. You start.

1211
01:26:54,709 --> 01:26:59,296
Well, maybe l would
if you weren't snarling.

1212
01:27:05,929 --> 01:27:07,804
What if l told you. . .

1213
01:27:07,972 --> 01:27:12,726
that l know exactly what you do
and how you do it?

1214
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:14,937
And l think it's despicable!

1215
01:27:15,104 --> 01:27:17,898
You know what?
We might need to go out to dinner.

1216
01:27:18,066 --> 01:27:21,902
There's a great seafood restaurant
l'd love to take you to.

1217
01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:26,156
How about you just get
a cleaver, butcher?

1218
01:27:26,324 --> 01:27:29,284
-Maybe l will !
-What the hell is wrong with you?

1219
01:27:29,452 --> 01:27:31,245
Nothing a front-page story can't cure.

1220
01:27:31,412 --> 01:27:32,788
So that's what this is all about?

1221
01:27:32,956 --> 01:27:35,666
Albert and Allegra on the front
of your crap-ass newspaper?

1222
01:27:35,833 --> 01:27:37,626
-You put them there!
-No, you did !

1223
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:40,462
No, he did ! The minute he called you !

1224
01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:10,033
Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi.

1225
01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:11,743
l need to bring my partner, Amir. . .

1226
01:28:11,911 --> 01:28:14,705
somewhere amazing
for our anniversary.

1227
01:28:14,872 --> 01:28:17,708
Maybe it's not your thing,
but maybe it is.

1228
01:28:17,875 --> 01:28:19,793
What the hell are you
talking about, Raoul?

1229
01:28:19,961 --> 01:28:21,461
lt's you, no?

1230
01:28:41,941 --> 01:28:45,944
So, my friend, how was she?
Pretty good?

1231
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:52,576
How was she?
l'll tell you ! She was great!

1232
01:29:07,008 --> 01:29:08,258
lsn't that the Date Doctor?

1233
01:29:08,426 --> 01:29:11,511
-l'm telling you, that's him.
-He doesn't look anything like him.

1234
01:29:11,679 --> 01:29:14,306
-Excuse me. Do you know him?
-No.

1235
01:29:14,766 --> 01:29:18,352
l want you to look me in the eye
and tell me that he did not hire you.

1236
01:29:18,519 --> 01:29:22,272
Ma'am, l have never seen this man
before in my life.

1237
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:23,440
See you later, Tony.

1238
01:29:23,608 --> 01:29:26,109
Tony? You have got
some serious explaining to do.

1239
01:29:26,277 --> 01:29:28,236
Albert. Hitch. You all right?

1240
01:29:28,404 --> 01:29:31,114
l can't really talk right now.
l'm kind of tied up.

1241
01:29:31,282 --> 01:29:33,283
One, two. On three.

1242
01:29:41,292 --> 01:29:43,126
Women will remain seated.

1243
01:29:43,294 --> 01:29:46,463
Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer.

1244
01:29:46,714 --> 01:29:48,757
You get two minutes each,
four minutes total.

1245
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:52,511
So trade your talk time
when you hear. . .

1246
01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:55,931
the gong.

1247
01:29:56,099 --> 01:29:57,974
lf it's mutual, you get numbers.

1248
01:29:58,142 --> 01:30:01,645
lf not, better luck next time, okay?

1249
01:30:02,480 --> 01:30:04,981
Ladies, take your seats.

1250
01:30:06,317 --> 01:30:10,987
Case, you are a living testimonial to
the triumph of hope over experience.

1251
01:30:11,155 --> 01:30:12,280
Thanks for coming.

1252
01:30:12,448 --> 01:30:15,826
l know it's lame. l'm sure it's
the last thing you feel like doing.

1253
01:30:15,993 --> 01:30:19,913
l really prefer Rachmaninoff
to the heavier romantic composers.

1254
01:30:20,081 --> 01:30:23,083
But despite the pan-Germanic
anti-Semitism. . .

1255
01:30:23,251 --> 01:30:26,336
l'd still have to say
my favourite is Wagner.

1256
01:30:28,631 --> 01:30:31,133
-Nice talking to you.
-Thank you. Bye.

1257
01:30:31,300 --> 01:30:32,384
Bye.

1258
01:30:34,220 --> 01:30:35,595
Excuse me.

1259
01:30:36,055 --> 01:30:37,931
That's my seat, man.

1260
01:30:39,767 --> 01:30:41,768
My name is Ron. l'm 28.

1261
01:30:41,936 --> 01:30:44,396
Albert Brennaman is a good man.

1262
01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:47,315
ln fact, Albert Brennaman
is a great man.

1263
01:30:47,483 --> 01:30:50,152
l just got out of
a five-year relationship.

1264
01:30:50,319 --> 01:30:53,155
l'm a lot of fun at parties.
l like dogs. . . .

1265
01:30:53,322 --> 01:30:55,949
And then you're mad at me
for what l do for a living?

1266
01:30:56,117 --> 01:30:57,367
l've already got your number. . .

1267
01:30:57,535 --> 01:31:00,120
so why don't you go
consult your conscience?

1268
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:02,998
-Albert is in love with her.
-Just like Sebastian?

1269
01:31:03,166 --> 01:31:05,041
-ls there a problem?
-No, just one sec.

1270
01:31:05,209 --> 01:31:06,918
What do you have
against Allegra anyway?

1271
01:31:07,086 --> 01:31:08,086
Nothing.

1272
01:31:08,254 --> 01:31:11,131
My interest is protecting women
from assholes like you.

1273
01:31:11,299 --> 01:31:12,883
l did ice climbing once.

1274
01:31:13,050 --> 01:31:15,343
-You don't even know me.
-And whose fault is that?

1275
01:31:15,511 --> 01:31:18,221
. . .the sun comes up,
the ice really starts to fall apart.

1276
01:31:18,389 --> 01:31:19,598
l bet. l'm sorry.

1277
01:31:19,765 --> 01:31:21,808
-Do you know this guy?
-Apparently not.

1278
01:31:21,976 --> 01:31:23,560
You're in my seat.

1279
01:31:23,728 --> 01:31:27,189
You really. . . .
l'm doing you a favour, believe me.

1280
01:31:27,356 --> 01:31:31,401
Basically, l like outdoor sports.
But indoor sports have their place, too.

1281
01:31:31,569 --> 01:31:34,237
There are certain aspects of my job
that are secretive.

1282
01:31:34,405 --> 01:31:36,490
And my job is to try to find the truth.

1283
01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:40,243
The truth? You wouldn't know the truth
if it kicked you in the head.

1284
01:31:40,411 --> 01:31:42,913
lf Albert Brennaman has
to take a fall for it, so be it.

1285
01:31:43,080 --> 01:31:45,248
Why don't you say
what's really pissing you off?

1286
01:31:45,416 --> 01:31:48,001
-l've been waiting to talk to her--
-You want to sit down?

1287
01:31:48,169 --> 01:31:49,503
-Here you go. Gong !
-Thank you.

1288
01:31:49,670 --> 01:31:50,670
Excuse me.

1289
01:31:50,838 --> 01:31:53,840
Hi. Actually, you're not
supposed to move.

1290
01:31:54,008 --> 01:31:56,718
l'm Alex Hitchens. No, it's okay. Go.

1291
01:31:56,886 --> 01:31:58,428
-l'm Casey.
-Hi, Casey.

1292
01:31:58,596 --> 01:32:01,515
l work for a small publishing house
in the press department. . .

1293
01:32:01,682 --> 01:32:04,684
which isn't actually where l want to be.
But it's a good house--

1294
01:32:04,852 --> 01:32:07,354
You handled me.
You manipulated me.

1295
01:32:07,522 --> 01:32:11,107
You researched me and you showed
me my great-grandfather's signature.

1296
01:32:11,275 --> 01:32:13,360
Wait. You're Ellis lsland?

1297
01:32:13,528 --> 01:32:15,362
-l thought that was real sweet.
-Thank you.

1298
01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:17,072
Case, you're not helping.

1299
01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:19,324
Excuse me, l'm on a date.

1300
01:32:20,201 --> 01:32:23,870
Does it ever occur to women that
maybe a guy might like to have a plan. . .

1301
01:32:24,038 --> 01:32:25,455
because he's nervous?

1302
01:32:25,623 --> 01:32:29,543
He's not sure that he could just walk up
to you and you'd respond if he said:

1303
01:32:29,710 --> 01:32:31,169
"l like you."

1304
01:32:35,299 --> 01:32:38,635
-That sounds good to me.
-True, you can't tell them you like them.

1305
01:32:38,803 --> 01:32:41,972
-l tried that. lt didn't go well.
-l've crashed and burned on that.

1306
01:32:42,139 --> 01:32:44,766
That is what you did,
and l did like you !

1307
01:32:44,934 --> 01:32:47,978
l just didn't know l was being
worked over by some professional.

1308
01:32:48,145 --> 01:32:49,938
He doesn't have a badge.

1309
01:32:50,106 --> 01:32:52,107
The only time he was sincere
or spontaneous. . .

1310
01:32:52,275 --> 01:32:53,942
was when everything
was going wrong. . .

1311
01:32:54,110 --> 01:32:55,986
or when you were stoned
out of your head.

1312
01:32:56,153 --> 01:32:59,447
-l'm sorry to interrupt. Do l know you?
-No, l don't think so.

1313
01:32:59,615 --> 01:33:02,450
-You wanna see me be spontaneous?
-Sure, you want a Benadryl?

1314
01:33:02,618 --> 01:33:07,205
This is really kind of distracting.
And l haven't gotten laid in a year!

1315
01:33:13,504 --> 01:33:17,048
We're sorry. Why don't you guys
get back to your date?

1316
01:33:17,216 --> 01:33:19,593
Or go somewhere.

1317
01:33:20,636 --> 01:33:22,345
Maybe from the bank?

1318
01:33:22,513 --> 01:33:24,139
lf this doesn't work out, call him.

1319
01:33:24,307 --> 01:33:26,224
He might hook you up
with Paris Hilton.

1320
01:33:26,392 --> 01:33:29,728
Wait, that's it.
You're the Date Doctor, right?

1321
01:33:34,317 --> 01:33:37,277
-You're the Date Doctor?
-Do we have a problem here?

1322
01:33:37,445 --> 01:33:42,032
Yeah, a big one!
What the hell did l ever do to you?

1323
01:33:43,951 --> 01:33:45,744
Am l missing something?

1324
01:33:45,911 --> 01:33:48,121
Sir, l'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.

1325
01:33:48,289 --> 01:33:51,875
Why don't you go hit a titty bar
with your buddy Vance?

1326
01:33:56,714 --> 01:33:57,839
Wow.

1327
01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:01,593
l don't believe this.

1328
01:34:04,430 --> 01:34:06,222
That's your source?

1329
01:34:06,807 --> 01:34:08,892
You buried yourself, Alex.

1330
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,685
Then you weren't listening.

1331
01:34:10,853 --> 01:34:13,063
l heard every word.

1332
01:34:13,522 --> 01:34:15,148
You're a scam artist.

1333
01:34:15,316 --> 01:34:18,818
-You trick women into getting--
-lnto getting out of their own way. . .

1334
01:34:18,986 --> 01:34:22,364
so great guys like Albert Brennaman
have a fighting chance.

1335
01:34:22,531 --> 01:34:26,034
No, l want everybody
to take a good look at this right now.

1336
01:34:26,202 --> 01:34:27,577
Because this right here. . .

1337
01:34:27,745 --> 01:34:31,790
this is exactly why falling in love
is so goddamn hard.

1338
01:34:33,209 --> 01:34:35,168
Sir, let's go. Now.

1339
01:34:38,047 --> 01:34:40,507
And Vance Munson is a pig !

1340
01:34:40,716 --> 01:34:43,093
And l refused to work with him.

1341
01:34:43,803 --> 01:34:46,137
You need to get your facts right.

1342
01:34:47,807 --> 01:34:51,393
lt's because of jerks like him
that l even have a job.

1343
01:34:53,938 --> 01:34:55,313
Had a job.

1344
01:35:08,119 --> 01:35:10,203
Can you believe that guy?

1345
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:13,498
Actually, l do.

1346
01:35:34,854 --> 01:35:36,104
You...

1347
01:35:37,732 --> 01:35:39,566
compIete me.

1348
01:35:41,068 --> 01:35:43,528
-I might just have--
-Shut up.

1349
01:35:44,196 --> 01:35:45,697
Just shut up.

1350
01:35:46,615 --> 01:35:48,658
You had me at "heIIo."

1351
01:36:16,771 --> 01:36:18,188
No comment.

1352
01:36:22,693 --> 01:36:26,696
This is off the record.

1353
01:36:31,952 --> 01:36:33,787
l came to apologise.

1354
01:36:33,996 --> 01:36:36,498
l made some assumptions about you. . .

1355
01:36:36,665 --> 01:36:39,542
based on nothing, it turns out.

1356
01:36:42,338 --> 01:36:47,008
-l guess Casey's right. My best friend--
-Don't worry about it. We're straight.

1357
01:36:47,468 --> 01:36:51,513
l should've asked you.
But sometimes you're so guarded.

1358
01:36:51,680 --> 01:36:55,099
l just don't wanna be another reason
for you to--

1359
01:36:56,101 --> 01:37:00,230
l'm not someone who likes to
get involved past a certain point.

1360
01:37:00,397 --> 01:37:04,234
And that point was about a week ago.

1361
01:37:10,282 --> 01:37:14,911
Well, l just want to say
l'm really sorry. . .

1362
01:37:16,455 --> 01:37:18,790
and l didn't mean to hurt you.

1363
01:37:20,584 --> 01:37:22,001
You didn't.

1364
01:37:26,131 --> 01:37:27,799
That's a relief.

1365
01:37:56,412 --> 01:37:59,372
-Hey, fella.
-Yeah, good. You?

1366
01:38:02,001 --> 01:38:03,209
What you got there?

1367
01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:08,047
This? l figured maybe if my heart
stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much.

1368
01:38:09,550 --> 01:38:11,551
She hasn't called back?

1369
01:38:15,139 --> 01:38:17,056
You want some coffee?

1370
01:38:22,062 --> 01:38:23,938
l want you to fix it.

1371
01:38:27,693 --> 01:38:29,611
l got nothing, Albert.

1372
01:38:31,238 --> 01:38:33,656
You wanna do something?
We should get out tonight.

1373
01:38:33,824 --> 01:38:36,826
Honestly, l never knew
l could feel like this.

1374
01:38:36,994 --> 01:38:39,579
l swear l'm going out of my mind.

1375
01:38:40,456 --> 01:38:43,166
l wanna throw myself off
of every building in New York.

1376
01:38:43,334 --> 01:38:46,002
l see a cab and l wanna
dive in front of it. . .

1377
01:38:46,170 --> 01:38:48,004
because then l'll stop
thinking about her.

1378
01:38:48,172 --> 01:38:50,965
Look, you will. Just give it time.

1379
01:38:51,133 --> 01:38:53,509
That's just it. l don't want to.

1380
01:38:53,802 --> 01:38:56,846
l've waited my whole life
to feel this miserable.

1381
01:38:57,014 --> 01:38:59,682
lf this is the only way
l can stay connected with her. . .

1382
01:38:59,850 --> 01:39:01,476
then this is who l have to be.

1383
01:39:01,644 --> 01:39:05,730
No, you don't.
You can change, you can adapt.

1384
01:39:06,231 --> 01:39:08,983
You can make it
so you don't ever have to feel like this.

1385
01:39:09,151 --> 01:39:10,568
Ever again.

1386
01:39:20,329 --> 01:39:23,331
Oh, my God.
You just don't get it, do you?

1387
01:39:23,791 --> 01:39:25,124
l get it.

1388
01:39:25,918 --> 01:39:27,877
Let me get this straight.

1389
01:39:28,045 --> 01:39:31,464
You're selling this stuff, but you
don't believe in your own product.

1390
01:39:31,632 --> 01:39:34,801
-Love is my life.
-No. Love is your job.

1391
01:39:48,065 --> 01:39:50,817
You wanna jump out a plane
without a chute, be my guest.

1392
01:39:50,985 --> 01:39:53,528
But forgive me if l don't join you.

1393
01:39:54,196 --> 01:39:57,281
This isn't about love
for you at all, is it?

1394
01:39:59,994 --> 01:40:03,037
This whole time,
l thought l was the coward.

1395
01:40:07,251 --> 01:40:09,502
-Where you going?
-Skydiving.

1396
01:40:40,451 --> 01:40:41,659
Taxi !

1397
01:41:15,444 --> 01:41:16,944
Mr. Hitchens.

1398
01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:19,989
Miss Cole,
thank you very much for seeing me.

1399
01:41:20,157 --> 01:41:22,742
You said it was
a matter of life and death.

1400
01:41:23,827 --> 01:41:27,121
That man would've sold his soul
to make you happy.

1401
01:41:27,539 --> 01:41:30,291
So what does that make you,
the devil?

1402
01:41:32,628 --> 01:41:37,465
My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole.
lt's to create opportunities.

1403
01:41:38,801 --> 01:41:40,802
-Like the boardroom.
-Would you have. . .

1404
01:41:40,969 --> 01:41:42,678
-noticed him otherwise?
-Yes.

1405
01:41:42,846 --> 01:41:45,056
-Really?
-Eventually.

1406
01:41:49,686 --> 01:41:50,895
Maybe.

1407
01:41:54,483 --> 01:41:57,401
How did you know
all that stuff about me?

1408
01:41:59,321 --> 01:42:01,906
Well, you really did your homework.

1409
01:42:03,158 --> 01:42:05,785
Like at boarding school when
everyone used to tease me. . .

1410
01:42:05,953 --> 01:42:07,328
because l couldn't whistle.

1411
01:42:07,496 --> 01:42:11,457
And having him dance like a buffoon
knowing that l can't dance, either.

1412
01:42:11,625 --> 01:42:16,379
Then telling him to drop mustard
on his shirt, so l'd feel less like a dork.

1413
01:42:19,133 --> 01:42:21,217
That was all you, right?

1414
01:42:21,844 --> 01:42:24,220
No. Hell, no.

1415
01:42:24,513 --> 01:42:25,888
That was him?

1416
01:42:26,056 --> 01:42:28,808
That's got Albert written all over it.

1417
01:42:30,018 --> 01:42:32,228
Did you put him up to the inhaler?

1418
01:42:32,396 --> 01:42:34,897
Stop it. He did not show you that.

1419
01:42:35,941 --> 01:42:38,401
He chucked it right before
he kissed me.

1420
01:42:38,569 --> 01:42:39,861
So, wait. . .

1421
01:42:40,737 --> 01:42:42,864
that stuff worked for you?

1422
01:42:44,825 --> 01:42:46,492
lt was adorable.

1423
01:42:54,126 --> 01:42:55,793
What did you do?

1424
01:42:57,754 --> 01:42:59,046
Nothing.

1425
01:43:04,344 --> 01:43:06,137
Absolutely nothing.

1426
01:43:08,223 --> 01:43:09,724
That's good.

1427
01:43:11,518 --> 01:43:14,103
-This was your plan the whole time?
-Albert.

1428
01:43:14,271 --> 01:43:16,647
You sail off into the sunset
with my girl?

1429
01:43:21,278 --> 01:43:25,406
You were like a brother to me!

1430
01:43:26,074 --> 01:43:28,784
-He came here for you.
-Who?

1431
01:43:28,952 --> 01:43:30,912
The guy you're choking.

1432
01:43:41,798 --> 01:43:43,925
-l love you.
-l love you.

1433
01:43:44,092 --> 01:43:45,885
l really love you.

1434
01:43:49,556 --> 01:43:52,808
-l love you more.
-l love you more. l really do.

1435
01:43:55,270 --> 01:43:57,438
l got somewhere l gotta go.

1436
01:44:28,136 --> 01:44:30,471
-Yeah, who is it?
-Hitch.

1437
01:44:31,890 --> 01:44:33,641
Can l talk to you?

1438
01:44:41,525 --> 01:44:42,692
What?

1439
01:44:44,903 --> 01:44:46,737
You almost hit me.

1440
01:44:50,701 --> 01:44:55,079
Look, l just wanted to stop by,
basically.

1441
01:44:56,540 --> 01:44:58,582
See, this is the thing.

1442
01:45:04,256 --> 01:45:08,009
This is weird. l don't have me
behind the door, you know.

1443
01:45:08,427 --> 01:45:10,136
Close your mouth.

1444
01:45:12,848 --> 01:45:16,684
Because l knew at some point l'd be. . .

1445
01:45:17,811 --> 01:45:21,856
right here. But l thought that. . .

1446
01:45:26,445 --> 01:45:29,488
everything would come out,
but it's like. . . .

1447
01:45:30,949 --> 01:45:32,950
That's throwing me off.

1448
01:45:37,831 --> 01:45:40,166
-Can we close the door?
-What?

1449
01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:43,753
l'm sorry. Just, can we. . . . l just need. . . .

1450
01:45:43,920 --> 01:45:47,089
-Are you serious?
-No, just like this.

1451
01:45:50,927 --> 01:45:52,970
What do you want, Hitch?

1452
01:45:54,806 --> 01:45:55,931
You.

1453
01:45:58,935 --> 01:46:02,813
For a whole lot of reasons
that don't make any sense to me.

1454
01:46:04,066 --> 01:46:07,401
l mean, what,
we've been on three dates?

1455
01:46:08,070 --> 01:46:10,154
See, that's what's crazy.

1456
01:46:10,447 --> 01:46:13,199
That's what's crazy, because l know.

1457
01:46:13,367 --> 01:46:14,742
l know deep. . .

1458
01:46:14,910 --> 01:46:19,747
like just down, just in this area. . .

1459
01:46:20,582 --> 01:46:22,875
that l just know. . .

1460
01:46:24,127 --> 01:46:25,711
that l want. . . .

1461
01:46:26,463 --> 01:46:30,549
l want to be miserable.

1462
01:46:30,717 --> 01:46:33,511
Like, really miserable.

1463
01:46:33,887 --> 01:46:35,137
Because, hey. . .

1464
01:46:35,305 --> 01:46:39,892
if that's what it takes
for me to be happy then. . . .

1465
01:46:41,978 --> 01:46:43,813
Wait, that didn't come out right.

1466
01:46:43,980 --> 01:46:46,315
What the hell is wrong with you?

1467
01:46:46,483 --> 01:46:49,276
-Nothing !
-No, not you.

1468
01:46:50,821 --> 01:46:52,780
l'm talking to me.

1469
01:47:13,969 --> 01:47:16,011
Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda.

1470
01:47:20,475 --> 01:47:22,768
l'll just put this in the car.

1471
01:47:36,158 --> 01:47:38,033
Maybe it's like what you said.

1472
01:47:38,201 --> 01:47:42,580
We should just both go our separate
ways and then we'll do just fine.

1473
01:47:53,925 --> 01:47:56,469
What if fine isn't good enough?

1474
01:48:00,974 --> 01:48:03,350
What if l want extraordinary?

1475
01:48:03,935 --> 01:48:05,478
No such thing.

1476
01:48:17,616 --> 01:48:20,284
l'm just as scared as you are, Sara.

1477
01:48:20,535 --> 01:48:23,662
But l'm right here,
and our time is right now.

1478
01:48:24,039 --> 01:48:25,581
Well, what about before?

1479
01:48:25,749 --> 01:48:28,918
l am a guy. Since when
do we get anything right the first time?

1480
01:48:29,085 --> 01:48:31,879
l'm a realist,
and l know what love does to people.

1481
01:48:32,047 --> 01:48:33,881
-No, you don't.
-Keys.

1482
01:48:35,759 --> 01:48:38,260
There you go. Right here.

1483
01:48:41,389 --> 01:48:44,725
l don't know who this is,
and l don't care.

1484
01:48:44,976 --> 01:48:49,355
What l do know is he'll never feel
about you the way that l do.

1485
01:48:51,816 --> 01:48:55,319
-You know how to drive a stick?
-Both of you, shut up!

1486
01:49:01,451 --> 01:49:04,203
-You okay?
-Yeah. No, l'm fine.

1487
01:49:05,121 --> 01:49:08,040
You'll never be fine, and neither will l !

1488
01:49:10,585 --> 01:49:12,461
Maybe l should drive.

1489
01:49:12,921 --> 01:49:15,172
Are you trying to get yourself killed?

1490
01:49:15,340 --> 01:49:16,757
lf that's what it takes.

1491
01:49:16,925 --> 01:49:18,300
Sara, what happened?

1492
01:49:18,468 --> 01:49:20,970
-He jumped on the car.
-Why?

1493
01:49:21,596 --> 01:49:23,931
Because that's what people do.

1494
01:49:24,140 --> 01:49:27,601
They leap and hope to God
they can fly.

1495
01:49:33,358 --> 01:49:35,276
Because otherwise. . .

1496
01:49:35,777 --> 01:49:38,362
we just drop like a rock. . .

1497
01:49:38,947 --> 01:49:41,323
wondering the whole way down:

1498
01:49:41,741 --> 01:49:45,286
"Why in the hell did l jump?"

1499
01:49:47,080 --> 01:49:50,791
But here l am, Sara, falling.

1500
01:49:51,751 --> 01:49:56,088
And there's only one person
that makes me feel like l can fly.

1501
01:49:58,133 --> 01:49:59,550
That's you.

1502
01:50:04,639 --> 01:50:07,474
So, you kind of like me?

1503
01:50:08,351 --> 01:50:09,476
No.

1504
01:50:10,687 --> 01:50:12,146
l love you.

1505
01:50:13,150 --> 01:50:16,110
l love you, and l knew it from the first--

1506
01:50:26,120 --> 01:50:29,495
lf l say it back now,
it'll sound so stupid.

1507
01:50:32,080 --> 01:50:36,250
This is the guy l was telling you about.
Hitch, that's my sister, Maria.

1508
01:50:36,420 --> 01:50:38,630
And that's her husband, Tom.

1509
01:50:42,845 --> 01:50:44,300
Her husband.

1510
01:51:25,720 --> 01:51:27,470
Where's your date?

1511
01:51:27,845 --> 01:51:29,430
Don't have one.

1512
01:51:35,230 --> 01:51:37,190
l know. Shocking, huh?

1513
01:51:40,525 --> 01:51:43,320
Oh, my God !

1514
01:51:50,120 --> 01:51:51,870
Are you all right?

1515
01:51:52,995 --> 01:51:54,915
Grandma, what happened?

1516
01:51:55,080 --> 01:51:58,375
This young lady just saved my life.

1517
01:52:03,130 --> 01:52:05,260
Ask her to dance.

1518
01:52:06,385 --> 01:52:08,635
Well, if you insist.

1519
01:52:09,800 --> 01:52:12,850
-l'm Casey.
-Charles Wellington.

1520
01:52:14,060 --> 01:52:17,230
-And this--
-Forget it. Just go.

1521
01:52:30,870 --> 01:52:32,580
Basic principles:

1522
01:52:33,995 --> 01:52:35,495
There are none.