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Well, I mean...
3
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,732
...isn't everything autobiographical?
4
00:01:56,016 --> 00:02:00,294
I mean, we all see the world
through our own tiny keyhole, right?
5
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,519
I mean, I always think
of Thomas Wolfe.
6
00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:05,932
Have you ever seen that little
one-page "Note to Reader"...
7
00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,271
...in the front
of Look Homeward, Angel?
8
00:02:09,155 --> 00:02:13,865
Anyway, he says that we are the sum
of all the moments of our lives...
9
00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:17,872
...and anybody who sits down to write
will use the clay of their own life...
10
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,684
...that you can't avoid that.
11
00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:24,625
So when I look at my own life,
I have to admit, right, that I...
12
00:02:25,129 --> 00:02:29,441
I've never been around a bunch of guns
or violence, you know, not really.
13
00:02:29,842 --> 00:02:33,596
No political intrigue
or a helicopter crash, right?
14
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,301
But my life, from my own point of view,
has been full of drama, right?
15
00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:41,456
And so I thought,
if I could write a book...
16
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:46,002
...that could capture what it's like
to really meet somebody...
17
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,960
One of the most exciting things
that's happened to me...
18
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,431
...is to meet somebody,
make that connection.
19
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:55,618
And if I could make that valuable,
you know, to capture that...
20
00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:59,603
...that would be the attempt, or...
21
00:03:00,289 --> 00:03:02,678
Did I answer your question?
22
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,684
I'll try to be more specific.
23
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,847
Was there ever a French young woman
on a train you met...
24
00:03:09,131 --> 00:03:11,361
...and spent an evening with?
25
00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:18,144
See, to me, that... I mean...
26
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,742
...that's not important, you know?
- So that's a yes?
27
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:26,645
All right, since I'm in France and this
is the last stop of my book tour, yes.
28
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,360
Thank you.
29
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,886
Mr. Wallace, the book ends
on an ambiguous note.
30
00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:34,471
We don't know.
31
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:37,208
Do you think they get back together
in six months...
32
00:03:37,576 --> 00:03:40,807
...like they promise each other?
33
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,411
Like they promised?
34
00:03:45,084 --> 00:03:47,678
I think how you answer that,
you know, is...
35
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,780
It's a good test, right,
if you're a romantic or a cynic.
36
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,966
Right? I mean, you think
they get back together, right?
37
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,782
- You don't, for sure.
- No.
38
00:03:58,013 --> 00:03:59,924
And you hope they do,
but you're not sure.
39
00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:03,739
- That's why you're asking the question.
- Do you think they get back together?
40
00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:06,139
I mean, did you in real life?
41
00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,442
Did I in real...?
42
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,368
Look, in the words
of my grandfather, okay:
43
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,645
"To answer that would take
the piss out of the whole thing. "
44
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:20,013
We just have the time
for one last question.
45
00:04:20,369 --> 00:04:22,007
What is your next book?
46
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,054
I don't know, man. I don't know.
47
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:30,728
I've been...
I've been thinking about this...
48
00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:33,640
Well, I always kind of wanted
to write a book...
49
00:04:33,924 --> 00:04:37,439
...that all took place
within the space of a pop song.
50
00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:40,795
Like three or four minutes long,
the whole thing.
51
00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:44,496
The story, the idea,
is that there's this guy, right...
52
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,446
...and he's totally depressed.
53
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:51,764
His great dream was to be a lover,
an adventurer, you know...
54
00:04:52,109 --> 00:04:54,748
...riding motorcycles
through South America.
55
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,709
And instead he's sitting
at a marble table eating lobster.
56
00:04:57,990 --> 00:05:00,948
He's got a good job and
a beautiful wife, right, but that...
57
00:05:01,243 --> 00:05:04,474
Everything that he needs.
But that doesn't matter...
58
00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,663
...because what he wants
is to fight for meaning.
59
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,192
You know? Happiness
is in the doing, right?
60
00:05:10,503 --> 00:05:12,698
Not in the getting what you want.
61
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:16,361
So he's sitting there,
and just that second...
62
00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:20,748
...his little 5-year-old daughter
hops up on the table.
63
00:05:21,096 --> 00:05:24,247
And he knows that she should
get down, because she could get hurt.
64
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:29,116
But she's dancing to this pop song
in a summer dress.
65
00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:31,850
And he looks down...
66
00:05:32,149 --> 00:05:34,538
...and all of a sudden, he's 6.
67
00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:40,719
And his high-school sweetheart
is dropping him off at home.
68
00:05:41,116 --> 00:05:44,552
And they just lost their virginity,
and she loves him...
69
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:48,658
...and the same song is playing
on the car radio.
70
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,916
And she climbs up and starts dancing
on the roof of the car.
71
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:53,732
And now he's worried about her.
72
00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:58,081
And she's beautiful, with a facial
expression just like his daughter's.
73
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,662
In fact, maybe that's why
he even likes her.
74
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,768
You see, he knows he's not
remembering this dance...
75
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:07,647
...he's there. He's there,
in both moments, simultaneously.
76
00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:11,294
And just for an instant,
all his life is just folding in on itself.
77
00:06:11,647 --> 00:06:14,241
And it's obvious to him
that time is a lie.
78
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:19,007
That it's all happening all the time...
79
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,716
...and inside every moment
is another moment...
80
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,869
...all happening simultaneously.
81
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:28,119
Anyway, that's kind of the idea.
Anyway.
82
00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,857
Our author has to be going
to the airport soon...
83
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:34,966
...so thank you all very much
for coming over this afternoon.
84
00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:38,413
And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace
for being with us.
85
00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:40,110
Thank you. Thank you.
86
00:06:40,342 --> 00:06:42,936
We hope to see you here again
with your next book.
87
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,874
Thank you all. How much longer
before I have to go to the airport?
88
00:06:53,189 --> 00:06:54,747
Oh, you should leave at 7:30...
89
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:57,499
- Seven-thirty at the very latest.
- Okay.
90
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,687
- Hi.
- Hello.
91
00:07:08,454 --> 00:07:11,048
- How are you?
- Good, and you?
92
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:15,631
I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm...
93
00:07:16,545 --> 00:07:18,775
Do you wanna, maybe,
get a cup of coffee?
94
00:07:19,632 --> 00:07:21,987
Didn't he just say
you have a plane to catch?
95
00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:25,933
Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time.
96
00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:29,581
- Okay.
- Yeah? All right, well, let me...
97
00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:31,925
I'll meet you outside. Okay.
98
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:36,046
Excuse me. I'm just gonna go
get a cup of coffee.
99
00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:38,507
- I'll be back at 7: 5.
- Did you sign all these?
100
00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:41,290
- Yeah, I sure did.
- Get your driver Philippe's card...
101
00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:44,001
...so you can call his cell
if you're running late.
102
00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:46,791
We'll put your bags in the car
so you're not late.
103
00:07:47,117 --> 00:07:49,551
- All right, thanks for everything.
- Thank you.
104
00:07:51,997 --> 00:07:53,874
Which one's Philippe?
105
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,089
- I can't believe you're here.
- I live here in Paris.
106
00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:19,844
Are you sure you don't have to stay?
You're not supposed to talk more?
107
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,148
They're sick of me.
I spent the night here.
108
00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:25,641
- You did?
- Yeah, they got a loft upstairs.
109
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,432
- How are you? This is so weird.
- I'm fine.
110
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:32,291
- It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
111
00:08:34,832 --> 00:08:37,141
- So you want to go to a café?
- Yeah.
112
00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:39,734
Okay. There's one a little further
that I like.
113
00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:43,713
I thought I was gonna totally lose it
in there when I first saw you.
114
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,763
How did you know
I was gonna be here?
115
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:50,249
It's my favorite bookstore in Paris.
You can sit down for hours and read.
116
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,509
I love it. There's fleas,
but, you know...
117
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,041
I know. I think a cat slept
on my head last night.
118
00:08:55,311 --> 00:08:57,825
I saw your picture on the calendar
about a month ago...
119
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,902
...and that you were going
to be here.
120
00:09:00,399 --> 00:09:03,197
It's funny, because I read an article
on your book...
121
00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:07,320
...and it sounded vaguely familiar.
- Vaguely? Yeah.
122
00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:11,540
But I didn't put it all together
until I saw your photo. So...
123
00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,939
Did you have a chance to read it?
124
00:09:14,246 --> 00:09:15,599
Yes, I...
125
00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:18,186
I was really, really surprised,
as you can imagine.
126
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:21,015
I mean, I had to read it twice, actually.
127
00:09:21,337 --> 00:09:23,293
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
128
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,312
No, I liked it. It's very romantic.
129
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:30,153
I usually don't like that,
but it's really well-written.
130
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,349
- It's well-written. Congratulations.
- All right. Thank you.
131
00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,688
- Wait.
- What?
132
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,764
Before we go anywhere,
I have to ask you...
133
00:09:40,356 --> 00:09:41,869
Sure. What?
134
00:09:42,107 --> 00:09:44,985
Did you show up in Vienna
that December?
135
00:09:46,946 --> 00:09:51,144
- Did you?
- No, I couldn't. But did you?
136
00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:54,723
- I need to know. It's important to me.
- Why, if you didn't?
137
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,157
Well, did you?
138
00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,847
No.
139
00:10:00,543 --> 00:10:01,976
Thank God you didn't.
140
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,971
- Oh, my God.
- Thank God you didn't.
141
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,611
Thank God I didn't and you didn't.
If one of us had showed up alone...
142
00:10:07,925 --> 00:10:10,234
...that would have sucked.
- I was so concerned.
143
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:14,220
I felt horrible about not being there,
but I couldn't. My grandma died...
144
00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:16,748
...and she was buried that day,
December 6th.
145
00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,527
- The one in Budapest?
- Yes. You remember that?
146
00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:22,527
- I remember everything.
- Of course, it was in your book.
147
00:10:22,815 --> 00:10:25,966
But anyway, I was about to
fly to Vienna, you know...
148
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:30,197
...and we heard the news about her,
and of course I had to go to the funeral.
149
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,203
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
150
00:10:32,449 --> 00:10:36,044
I know. But you weren't there anyway.
151
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:38,801
Wait. Why weren't you there?
152
00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:42,320
I would have been there
if I could have. I made plans...
153
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:44,784
You better have a good reason.
154
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,361
What?
155
00:10:48,507 --> 00:10:49,906
Oh, no.
156
00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,590
No, you were there, weren't you?
157
00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:55,447
Oh, no, that's terrible!
158
00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:57,402
I'm laughing, but I don't mean it.
159
00:10:57,641 --> 00:10:59,438
Did you hate me?
You must've hated me.
160
00:10:59,685 --> 00:11:01,835
- Have you been hating me all this time?
- No.
161
00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:03,378
- Yes, you have.
- No.
162
00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,399
But you can't hate me now, right?
163
00:11:05,691 --> 00:11:08,683
- I mean, my grandma...
- I don't hate you. It's no big deal.
164
00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:11,462
I flew all the way over there,
you blew the thing off.
165
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,738
My life's been a big nosedive since,
but it's not a problem.
166
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,794
- No, I'm kidding.
- Don't say that. I can't believe it.
167
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,475
You must have been so angry
with me. I'm so sorry.
168
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,182
I wanted to be there,
more than anything in the world.
169
00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:26,098
- Honestly, I swear...
- You can't be angry, my grandmother...
170
00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:29,893
I know. I honestly thought that something
like that might have happened.
171
00:11:30,216 --> 00:11:32,207
I was definitely bummed, but...
172
00:11:32,468 --> 00:11:36,017
Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged
any phone numbers or any information.
173
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,258
That was so stupid.
No way to get in touch.
174
00:11:38,516 --> 00:11:40,746
- Nothing to go on.
- I didn't know your last name.
175
00:11:41,018 --> 00:11:44,090
Remember, we were both afraid
if we started writing and calling...
176
00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:47,786
...that it would slowly fade out.
- It definitely wasn't a slow fade.
177
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,302
No, it sure wasn't.
178
00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:51,279
We wanted to pick up
where we left off.
179
00:11:51,529 --> 00:11:54,760
Which would have been fine
if it had worked. Oh, well.
180
00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:57,721
So...
181
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,441
- How long were you in Vienna, then?
- Just a couple days.
182
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,193
Did you meet another girl?
183
00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:07,969
Yeah, her name was Gretchen
and she was amazing.
184
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,889
The book's really a composite
of the two of you.
185
00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:14,844
No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe...
I even went back to the train station.
186
00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:19,132
I put up signs of my number
in the hotel in case you'd been delayed.
187
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,987
- I was a total dork.
- Let's go this way. Did you get any calls?
188
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:25,434
Just a couple hookers
looking for a gig.
189
00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:28,205
No, it was awful, I mean,
what do you want me to say?
190
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,835
It's so sad. I'm so sorry.
191
00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:33,067
I walked around for a couple days.
Eventually, I flew home.
192
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,554
I owed my dad 2000 bucks...
193
00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:37,776
...who had warned me
about French chicks.
194
00:12:38,075 --> 00:12:39,872
What did he tell you
about French women?
195
00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:42,152
Nothing. He's never met
any French women.
196
00:12:42,454 --> 00:12:44,604
He's never been
east of the Mississippi.
197
00:12:44,874 --> 00:12:48,947
Why didn't you put, "Six months later,
the French bitch didn't show up"?
198
00:12:49,295 --> 00:12:50,808
No, but I did, I did.
199
00:12:51,088 --> 00:12:53,886
- You did?
- Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful.
200
00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:56,650
I wrote this fictional version
where you do show up.
201
00:12:56,969 --> 00:12:59,324
- Oh, what happens?
- Well...
202
00:13:00,723 --> 00:13:02,281
What?
203
00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:05,644
We make love for about 0 days straight,
that's one part of it.
204
00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:08,609
- Interesting. So the French slut, right?
- Yeah, exactly.
205
00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:11,328
It's just then they get
to know each other better...
206
00:13:11,609 --> 00:13:13,520
...and realize they don't
get along at all.
207
00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:16,970
- I like that. It's more real.
- My editor didn't think that way.
208
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,317
Everyone wants to believe in love.
It sells.
209
00:13:19,575 --> 00:13:21,486
Yeah, exactly, so...
210
00:13:22,286 --> 00:13:24,754
So things are going well for you,
right? I mean...
211
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,152
- Your book is a bestseller in the U. S.
- It's a tiny bestseller.
212
00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:30,412
- Oh, come on.
- All right. Officially, yes.
213
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,703
Most people haven't read Moby Dick.
Why should they read my book?
214
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:36,156
I haven't read Moby Dick
and I liked your book.
215
00:13:36,425 --> 00:13:38,620
- Thanks.
- Even though...
216
00:13:38,928 --> 00:13:41,567
...I thought you idealized
the night of it.
217
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,527
Come on, it's fiction, right?
218
00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:45,358
- I'm supposed to...
- I know, I know.
219
00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:48,715
I know. I thought there were times
where you made me...
220
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:53,261
Well, I mean, her, right?
No, me. Okay, whatever.
221
00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:56,567
- A little bit neurotic.
- You are a bit like that, aren't you?
222
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,021
- You think I'm neurotic?
- No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding.
223
00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:02,121
Where did I do that? I didn't do that.
224
00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:04,962
Oh, maybe it's just me, you know...
225
00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:08,158
Reading something, knowing
the character is based on you...
226
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,059
...it's both flattering and disturbing
at the same time.
227
00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:12,810
How is it disturbing?
228
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:17,126
I don't know. Just being part
of someone else's memory.
229
00:14:17,466 --> 00:14:19,980
Seeing myself through your eyes.
230
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:22,570
How long did it take you to write it?
231
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,357
Three or four years, on and off.
232
00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:28,678
Wow, that's a really long time
to be writing about one night.
233
00:14:29,019 --> 00:14:31,579
Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.
234
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:34,336
I always assumed
you had forgotten me.
235
00:14:34,859 --> 00:14:37,498
No, I had a pretty clear picture
of you in my mind.
236
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:40,129
- I have to tell you something. I just...
- What?
237
00:14:40,406 --> 00:14:44,035
I've wanted to talk to you for so long
that now... It's just surreal, you know?
238
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:46,082
I feel like everything should be...
239
00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:48,637
How long do we have?
Twenty minutes and 30 seconds?
240
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,151
We got more than that.
I wanna know about you.
241
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,972
Tell me, what are you doing?
What are you up to?
242
00:14:54,295 --> 00:14:58,732
Where to start? I work for Green Cross.
It's an environmental organization.
243
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,407
What are they all about?
244
00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:03,144
We basically work on different
environment issues...
245
00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:05,943
...from clean water to
disarmament of chemical weapons.
246
00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:08,578
International laws that deal
with the environment.
247
00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:11,126
- What do you do for them?
- We're going this way.
248
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,919
Different things.
249
00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:16,898
Like, last year I was in India for a while,
working on a water-treatment plant.
250
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,057
Well, the cotton industry there
is a major source of pollution, so...
251
00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:24,161
I mean, it sounds like you're actually
doing something.
252
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:27,802
Most people, myself included,
just sit around and bitch.
253
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:32,591
You know, how America's consuming
all the world's resources, SUVs suck...
254
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,277
...global warming is real...
255
00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:37,774
I'm relieved to hear you're not one
of those "freedom fries" Americans.
256
00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:40,397
Hey, you know...
But how'd you get into that?
257
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:43,825
I came out of political science,
hoping to work for the government.
258
00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:46,772
- And I did for a little while. Terrible.
- Not good?
259
00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:50,567
Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired...
Let's go this way.
260
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:53,130
Having this endless conversation
with friends...
261
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,545
...about how the world
was falling to pieces.
262
00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:58,165
So I decided what I really
wanted to do was...
263
00:15:58,484 --> 00:16:01,681
...to find things that could be fixed
and try to fix them, you know?
264
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:05,624
You know, I always thought you'd be
doing something cool like that. I did.
265
00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:10,701
Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky
to be doing a job I like, you know?
266
00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:12,520
Yeah.
267
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:17,299
I actually alternate in between thinking
everything is irrevocably screwed up...
268
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,865
...and things might be
getting better in ways.
269
00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:22,481
Better? How could you
possibly say that?
270
00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:24,476
Well, I just mean, you know, like...
271
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:28,233
I know it sounds weird, but there are
things to be optimistic about.
272
00:16:28,597 --> 00:16:33,113
Okay... I know your book is selling,
which is great, I'm very happy for you.
273
00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:36,636
But let me break the news to you:
The world is a mess right now.
274
00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:39,370
From a Western view,
things are getting a bit better.
275
00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:43,128
We're moving industry to developing
nations where we can get cheap labor...
276
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:46,604
...free of any environmental laws.
The weapon industry is booming.
277
00:16:46,907 --> 00:16:49,740
Five million people die a year
from preventable water disease.
278
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,955
How is the world getting better?
I'm not angry, I'm not angry.
279
00:16:53,289 --> 00:16:55,280
But come on, I want to know.
I'm interested.
280
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,939
I realize that there are a lot
of serious problems in the world.
281
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,445
- Okay. Thank you.
- I mean, I don't even have...
282
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,986
...one publisher in the Asian market.
- Okay. All right.
283
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,634
- Say stop.
- What? Stop.
284
00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:12,683
Look, all I'm saying is there's more
awareness. People are gonna fight back.
285
00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:15,895
The world might be getting better
because people like you...
286
00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:17,745
...are educated and speaking out.
287
00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,469
Even the very notion of conservation,
environmental issues...
288
00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:24,092
...weren't in the vocabulary
till fairly recently.
289
00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:28,274
And they're becoming the norm and
eventually might be what's expected.
290
00:17:28,657 --> 00:17:31,490
I agree with what you're saying,
but at the same time it's dangerous.
291
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:34,341
An imperialist country can use
that kind of thinking...
292
00:17:34,622 --> 00:17:36,692
...to justify their economic greed.
293
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:42,129
Is there any particular imperialist country
you have in mind, there, Frenchie?
294
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:44,579
- No, not really.
- No?
295
00:17:50,095 --> 00:17:53,451
- So you wanna sit over there?
- Yeah, this is perfect.
296
00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:56,613
Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is...
297
00:17:56,936 --> 00:17:59,734
...the world might be evolving
the way a person evolves.
298
00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:02,934
Like, I mean, me, for example.
Am I getting worse?
299
00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:07,273
Am I improving? I don't know.
When I was younger, I was healthier...
300
00:18:07,613 --> 00:18:10,002
...but I was wracked with insecurity,
you know?
301
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,732
Now I'm older and my problems
are deeper...
302
00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:14,790
...but I'm more equipped
to handle them.
303
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,691
So, what are your problems?
304
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:23,645
Right now I don't have any.
I don't, you know? I'm just...
305
00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:25,676
...damn happy to be here.
306
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,686
Me too.
307
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,911
So how long have you been in Paris?
308
00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:36,498
I got in last night.
I've done 0 cities in 2 days.
309
00:18:36,851 --> 00:18:39,081
I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over,
you know?
310
00:18:39,395 --> 00:18:40,794
I'm tired of being a huckster.
311
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:42,871
- Hi.
- Hello.
312
00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:44,582
What do you want?
313
00:18:44,859 --> 00:18:46,736
A cup of coffee.
314
00:18:50,573 --> 00:18:54,168
God, I love this café. I wish they had
places like this in the U. S.
315
00:18:54,743 --> 00:18:57,132
Yeah, I missed cafés
when I was living over there.
316
00:18:57,454 --> 00:19:00,207
I mean, I find a few places
I really liked, but there was...
317
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:04,375
- You were living in the U. S.?
- Yes, from '96 to '99.
318
00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:06,266
I was studying at NYU.
319
00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:09,228
Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine.
320
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,506
- What?
- No, it's just...
321
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,440
- Nothing, I mean, I...
- What?
322
00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:16,910
I've been living in New York since '98.
We were there at the same time.
323
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,737
- In New York?
- Yeah.
324
00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:23,492
That's weird. It actually crossed my mind
a few times that I might run into you...
325
00:19:23,856 --> 00:19:26,086
...but the odds are so slim, right? So...
326
00:19:26,775 --> 00:19:28,606
I didn't even know
what city you were in.
327
00:19:28,861 --> 00:19:32,217
- Weren't you somewhere in Texas?
- Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just...
328
00:19:32,573 --> 00:19:35,929
I was for a long time. I just,
you know, wanted to try New York.
329
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,712
What brought you back here?
330
00:19:39,997 --> 00:19:41,908
I had finished my master's, for one...
331
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,324
...and no visa, no more visa.
332
00:19:44,627 --> 00:19:48,825
And I was starting to get paranoid.
All the violence in the medias:
333
00:19:49,173 --> 00:19:52,290
Gang violence, murders,
especially serial killers...
334
00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,645
But the final straw was...
335
00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:58,683
...one night I heard some noise
on my fire escape...
336
00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:01,450
...so I called 9,
and the cops came eventually.
337
00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:05,125
- Like three hours later.
- Yeah, after I had been raped and killed.
338
00:20:05,898 --> 00:20:08,287
No, but it was a man
and a woman officer.
339
00:20:08,609 --> 00:20:10,520
I was explaining what I had heard...
340
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:13,015
...when the woman had
to go move the police car.
341
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,918
I was left alone with the male cop.
342
00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:19,435
Right away he asked me if I had a gun,
and I said, "No, of course not. "
343
00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:22,582
And he told me, "Well, you better
think about getting one.
344
00:20:22,915 --> 00:20:26,112
This is America, not France. Okay?"
345
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:29,410
And I said to him, "I have no idea
how to shoot a gun...
346
00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:32,144
...and I have no interest
in firearms whatsoever. "
347
00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:36,095
And that's when he pulled out his gun,
like this, and he went:
348
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:41,703
"Well, one day, you're gonna have
something like this in your face...
349
00:20:42,184 --> 00:20:44,414
...and if you wanna have a long life...
350
00:20:45,104 --> 00:20:48,733
...you're gonna have to choose
between you or them. "
351
00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:54,182
And then they left. And the next morning
I called for an application to get a gun.
352
00:20:54,572 --> 00:20:56,961
Me with a gun.
I mean, that's really scary.
353
00:20:57,283 --> 00:20:59,319
But then I realized
something was wrong.
354
00:20:59,618 --> 00:21:03,008
The way that cop had pulled his gun out,
and everything, right?
355
00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:05,124
So I canceled my demand
for the gun...
356
00:21:05,374 --> 00:21:08,366
...and I called the police and tried
to complain about that cop.
357
00:21:08,669 --> 00:21:11,137
- What happened with that?
- It was so much paperwork...
358
00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:14,141
...and then I got scared,
with my shitty student visa...
359
00:21:14,425 --> 00:21:16,734
- Thought you'd get deported?
- Exactly. I gave up...
360
00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:18,729
...and forgot about the whole thing.
361
00:21:19,013 --> 00:21:22,449
- Well, I guess I never forgot.
- Obviously.
362
00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:25,242
But still, you know,
I really enjoyed being there.
363
00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:28,553
- There's lots of things I miss in the U. S.
- Yeah? Like what?
364
00:21:30,649 --> 00:21:32,162
Well...
365
00:21:32,443 --> 00:21:34,832
The overall good mood
people have there.
366
00:21:35,154 --> 00:21:37,145
Like, even if it can be
bullshit sometimes.
367
00:21:37,406 --> 00:21:40,079
Like, "How you doing?" "Great. "
"How you doing?" "Great!"
368
00:21:40,618 --> 00:21:42,654
"Have a great day!"
369
00:21:43,162 --> 00:21:46,632
I don't know. Parisians can be
so grumpy. Have you noticed?
370
00:21:46,999 --> 00:21:49,513
No, everybody seems
pretty happy to me.
371
00:21:50,336 --> 00:21:53,134
- They're not happy. No.
- They're not happy?
372
00:21:53,422 --> 00:21:56,653
No, they are. I don't know. I just
mean French men. They drive me nuts.
373
00:21:57,009 --> 00:21:58,328
What is it? What about them?
374
00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:01,597
Well, they're very nice.
They're great, you know, to be around.
375
00:22:01,931 --> 00:22:03,842
They love food, wine,
they're great cooks.
376
00:22:04,099 --> 00:22:06,010
But I've had really bad luck with them.
377
00:22:06,268 --> 00:22:07,826
Why? What do you mean?
378
00:22:08,729 --> 00:22:11,607
- Well, I guess they're not as...
- What?
379
00:22:11,941 --> 00:22:13,454
What's the word?
380
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:17,719
- Horny? They're not as horny.
- Horny?
381
00:22:18,072 --> 00:22:22,190
Wait, listen to me on this one. In that
regard, I am proud to be an American.
382
00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:24,366
And you should be.
In that regard only.
383
00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:27,532
Have you ever spent time
in Eastern Europe?
384
00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:30,471
Eastern... No, I don't.
Thank you.
385
00:22:31,627 --> 00:22:34,095
I remember as a teenager
I went to Warsaw...
386
00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:36,814
...when it was still
a strict communist regime.
387
00:22:37,132 --> 00:22:39,407
- Which I don't approve of at all.
- Sure you don't.
388
00:22:39,718 --> 00:22:41,629
- No, I don't.
- I'm just kidding.
389
00:22:41,887 --> 00:22:44,685
But anyway, something about
being there was very interesting.
390
00:22:44,974 --> 00:22:48,091
After a couple of weeks,
something changed in me.
391
00:22:48,394 --> 00:22:51,431
The city was quite gloomy and gray...
392
00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:54,369
...but after a while,
my brain seemed clearer.
393
00:22:54,650 --> 00:22:56,242
I was writing more
in my journal...
394
00:22:56,527 --> 00:22:59,564
...ideas I'd never thought of before...
- Communist ideas?
395
00:22:59,905 --> 00:23:01,975
- Listen, I'm not...
- I'm sorry, I...
396
00:23:02,283 --> 00:23:03,955
- Okay.
- Go on.
397
00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,711
Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later.
398
00:23:06,996 --> 00:23:10,306
No. But it took me a while to figure out
why I felt so different.
399
00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:13,184
One day, as I was walking
through the Jewish cemetery...
400
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,291
...I don't know why,
but it occurred to me there...
401
00:23:15,546 --> 00:23:19,255
...I realized that I had spent the last
two weeks away from most of my habits.
402
00:23:19,592 --> 00:23:21,503
TV was in a language
I didn't understand...
403
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,399
...there was nothing to buy,
no advertisements anywhere...
404
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,238
...so all I'd been doing was...
405
00:23:26,474 --> 00:23:31,025
...walk around, think, and write.
My brain felt like it was at rest...
406
00:23:31,437 --> 00:23:34,873
...free from the consuming frenzy.
It was almost like a natural high.
407
00:23:35,232 --> 00:23:39,589
I felt so peaceful inside.
No strange urge to be somewhere else...
408
00:23:39,987 --> 00:23:41,261
...to shop...
409
00:23:41,530 --> 00:23:43,566
It could have seemed
like boredom at first...
410
00:23:43,824 --> 00:23:45,542
...but it became very, very soulful.
411
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:48,098
It was interesting, you know?
412
00:23:48,329 --> 00:23:51,526
Can you believe it was nine years ago
we were walking around Vienna?
413
00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:55,715
- Nine years? No, that's impossible.
- No, it was. It feels like two months.
414
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,917
But it was summer '94.
415
00:24:00,216 --> 00:24:02,411
Do I look any different?
416
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,732
I do?
417
00:24:06,597 --> 00:24:07,791
I'd have to see you naked.
418
00:24:08,224 --> 00:24:10,101
- What?
- I know, I'm sorry.
419
00:24:10,392 --> 00:24:12,667
Your hair was different back then.
It was like...
420
00:24:12,937 --> 00:24:15,246
- It's the same... Oh, down.
- Yeah, take it down.
421
00:24:15,523 --> 00:24:17,195
Down. Okay, it was down. Okay.
422
00:24:17,483 --> 00:24:19,553
Well? Voilà.
423
00:24:19,902 --> 00:24:21,335
So?
424
00:24:23,447 --> 00:24:24,846
Okay, come on. Tell me.
425
00:24:28,911 --> 00:24:31,379
Skinnier, I think. A little thinner.
426
00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:34,019
Did you think I was fat before?
427
00:24:34,291 --> 00:24:37,089
- No...
- Yeah, you thought I was a fatty.
428
00:24:37,419 --> 00:24:41,298
No, you thought I was a fatty. You
wrote a book about a fat French girl.
429
00:24:41,632 --> 00:24:43,463
- No, listen.
- Oh, no.
430
00:24:43,759 --> 00:24:45,795
Seriously, all right? You look beautiful.
431
00:24:46,095 --> 00:24:48,006
Do I look any different?
432
00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:51,820
No. Not at all.
Actually, you have this line.
433
00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:54,493
- I know.
- It's like a scar.
434
00:24:54,812 --> 00:24:59,044
- A scar? Like a gunshot wound?
- No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry.
435
00:25:00,568 --> 00:25:05,164
I had this funny...
Well, horrible dream the other day.
436
00:25:06,407 --> 00:25:10,286
I was having this awful nightmare
that I was 32.
437
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:13,691
And then I woke up,
and I was 23. So relieved.
438
00:25:14,039 --> 00:25:16,507
And then I woke up for real,
and I was 32.
439
00:25:16,834 --> 00:25:19,189
- Shit, man. It happens.
- Scary.
440
00:25:19,503 --> 00:25:22,063
Time goes faster and faster.
Apparently, it's because...
441
00:25:22,339 --> 00:25:25,649
...we don't renew synapses after
our 20s, so it's downhill from then on.
442
00:25:26,969 --> 00:25:29,847
I like getting older, you know?
Life feels...
443
00:25:30,264 --> 00:25:33,654
I don't know, it feels more immediate.
Like I can appreciate things more.
444
00:25:34,685 --> 00:25:37,153
No, me too, actually. I really love it.
445
00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:39,448
I was once...
446
00:25:39,732 --> 00:25:41,051
...a drummer in a band.
447
00:25:41,317 --> 00:25:43,785
- You were?
- Yeah. We were pretty good, actually.
448
00:25:44,111 --> 00:25:48,150
But the lead-singer guy, he was just so
obsessed with us getting a record deal.
449
00:25:48,491 --> 00:25:51,324
It's all we talked about, thought about,
getting bigger shows.
450
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:55,016
Everything was just focused on
the future all the time. And now...
451
00:25:55,331 --> 00:25:57,128
...the band doesn't even exist anymore.
452
00:25:57,374 --> 00:25:59,649
And looking back
at the shows we did play...
453
00:25:59,919 --> 00:26:02,717
...even rehearsing, it was just
so much fun.
454
00:26:03,005 --> 00:26:07,044
I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it.
Could I have a drag of that?
455
00:26:07,468 --> 00:26:10,380
Well, your book has been published.
That's a pretty big deal.
456
00:26:10,721 --> 00:26:13,838
You've been all around Europe.
Are you enjoying every minute of it?
457
00:26:14,683 --> 00:26:16,480
- Not really.
- Not really?
458
00:26:16,769 --> 00:26:18,088
No.
459
00:26:18,687 --> 00:26:21,247
- Do you have another one of those?
- Yes, of course.
460
00:26:23,442 --> 00:26:24,921
Here.
461
00:26:25,861 --> 00:26:28,853
In my field, I see these people that...
Oh, sorry.
462
00:26:29,198 --> 00:26:31,632
Come into it with big,
idealist visions...
463
00:26:31,909 --> 00:26:34,548
...of becoming the leader
that will create a better world.
464
00:26:34,829 --> 00:26:36,945
They enjoy the goal,
but not the process.
465
00:26:37,248 --> 00:26:39,045
- Right.
- But the reality of it is...
466
00:26:39,291 --> 00:26:42,567
...the true work of improving things
is in the little achievements.
467
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,753
- That's what you need to enjoy.
- What do you mean, exactly?
468
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:49,526
I was working for this organization
that helped villages in Mexico.
469
00:26:50,344 --> 00:26:52,733
And their concerns was how
to get the pencils...
470
00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:55,322
...sent to the kid
in those little country schools.
471
00:26:55,599 --> 00:26:59,274
It was not about big,
revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils.
472
00:26:59,812 --> 00:27:03,122
I see the people that do the real work,
and what's really sad is that...
473
00:27:03,649 --> 00:27:06,083
...the people that are
the most giving, hardworking...
474
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,476
...and capable of making
this world better...
475
00:27:08,779 --> 00:27:11,771
...usually don't have the ego
and ambition to be a leader.
476
00:27:12,116 --> 00:27:14,630
They don't see any interest
in superficial rewards.
477
00:27:14,952 --> 00:27:17,864
They don't care if their name
ever appear in the press.
478
00:27:18,205 --> 00:27:20,878
They actually enjoy the process
of helping others.
479
00:27:21,208 --> 00:27:23,802
- They're in the moment.
- Yeah, but that's so hard...
480
00:27:24,086 --> 00:27:26,884
...you know, to be in the moment.
I mean, I feel like I'm...
481
00:27:27,173 --> 00:27:31,007
...designed to be slightly dissatisfied
with everything, you know?
482
00:27:31,343 --> 00:27:33,732
It's like always trying
to better my situation.
483
00:27:34,054 --> 00:27:37,364
I satisfy one desire,
and it just agitates another.
484
00:27:37,683 --> 00:27:41,073
And then I think, to hell with it, right?
Desire's the fuel of life.
485
00:27:41,395 --> 00:27:44,114
You know? Do you think it's true...
486
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,238
...that if we never wanted anything,
we'd never be unhappy?
487
00:27:47,568 --> 00:27:52,403
I don't know. Not wanting anything,
isn't that a symptom of depression?
488
00:27:52,781 --> 00:27:56,251
Yeah, that is, right?
I mean, it's healthy to desire, right?
489
00:27:56,619 --> 00:28:00,089
Yeah. I don't know. It's what all
those Buddhist guys say, right?
490
00:28:00,456 --> 00:28:02,731
Liberate yourself from desire,
and you'll find...
491
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,072
...you already have everything you need.
- But I feel alive...
492
00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:09,093
...when I want something more
than basic survival needs.
493
00:28:09,381 --> 00:28:12,100
Wanting, whether it's intimacy
with another person...
494
00:28:12,426 --> 00:28:14,098
...or a pair of shoes, is beautiful.
495
00:28:14,386 --> 00:28:17,776
I like that we have those
ever-renewing desires, you know?
496
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,778
Maybe it's this sense
of entitlement.
497
00:28:20,059 --> 00:28:23,654
You know, like whenever you feel like
you deserve that new pair of shoes?
498
00:28:24,021 --> 00:28:27,730
It's okay to want things, as long as you
aren't pissed off if you don't get them.
499
00:28:28,067 --> 00:28:29,864
Life's hard. It's supposed to be.
500
00:28:30,152 --> 00:28:33,030
If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't
learn a thing, you know?
501
00:28:34,532 --> 00:28:36,363
So, what, are you Buddhist,
or something?
502
00:28:37,493 --> 00:28:40,053
- No.
- No? Why not?
503
00:28:40,579 --> 00:28:45,130
I don't know. The same reason I don't
really consider myself anything, really.
504
00:28:45,709 --> 00:28:48,985
I decided a long time ago that
I was gonna be open to everything...
505
00:28:49,338 --> 00:28:51,727
...but not buy into any one
and only belief system.
506
00:28:53,467 --> 00:28:56,459
I went to this Trappist monastery
a couple years ago.
507
00:28:57,179 --> 00:29:00,888
- Trappist?
- Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian.
508
00:29:01,308 --> 00:29:04,778
- Why did you do that?
- Why? I'd been doing some reading.
509
00:29:05,146 --> 00:29:08,821
Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever
spent any time with monks or nuns?
510
00:29:09,316 --> 00:29:12,513
- No. It's not really my style.
- No?
511
00:29:13,445 --> 00:29:17,324
Well, I expected them to be all
glowering and stern, but they weren't.
512
00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:20,168
They were quick to laugh,
really easy to be around.
513
00:29:20,494 --> 00:29:23,372
Seriously, very attuned to everything,
they were just...
514
00:29:23,747 --> 00:29:26,056
You know, they weren't trying
to hustle anybody.
515
00:29:26,375 --> 00:29:28,764
They're trying to live and die
in peace with God...
516
00:29:29,086 --> 00:29:31,475
...or whatever part of them
they feel is eternal.
517
00:29:31,797 --> 00:29:33,674
It was just so refreshing to be around.
518
00:29:33,924 --> 00:29:36,313
You realize that most
of the people that you meet...
519
00:29:36,594 --> 00:29:38,312
...are trying
to get somewhere better.
520
00:29:38,554 --> 00:29:41,626
They're trying to make more cash,
get a little more respect...
521
00:29:41,974 --> 00:29:44,283
...have more people admire them.
It's exhausting.
522
00:29:44,602 --> 00:29:47,594
- No kidding.
- And it's exhausting to be one yourself.
523
00:29:47,938 --> 00:29:51,169
There I am, right, you know,
all greedy to be more spiritual.
524
00:29:51,484 --> 00:29:54,920
"I want to be a better person,"
you know? You can't escape.
525
00:29:55,237 --> 00:30:01,153
I had this boyfriend of mine many years
ago that wanted to be a Buddhist.
526
00:30:01,785 --> 00:30:04,219
So he went to Asia to visit some
of those monasteries.
527
00:30:04,538 --> 00:30:08,087
- I've thought about doing that too.
- Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why.
528
00:30:08,459 --> 00:30:11,690
He was good-looking, and each time
he went to one of the monasteries...
529
00:30:12,004 --> 00:30:14,518
...a monk offered to suck his cock.
530
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,478
True story.
531
00:30:17,009 --> 00:30:19,807
It all comes down to that, doesn't it?
532
00:30:20,137 --> 00:30:22,207
That's why I really admire
what you're doing.
533
00:30:22,515 --> 00:30:24,551
- You know?
- What do you mean? Sucking cock?
534
00:30:24,850 --> 00:30:27,887
- No.
- No? Wrong answer.
535
00:30:28,187 --> 00:30:31,816
No, I was gonna say
you're not detached from life.
536
00:30:32,191 --> 00:30:34,500
You're putting your passion into action.
537
00:30:34,819 --> 00:30:37,379
Well, I try.
538
00:30:38,113 --> 00:30:41,344
You know something?
I'm gonna be on planes...
539
00:30:41,659 --> 00:30:43,889
...and in an airport
for the next eight hours...
540
00:30:44,203 --> 00:30:46,478
I'd just love to see
a little bit more of Paris.
541
00:30:46,872 --> 00:30:48,271
- Would you walk with me?
- Yeah.
542
00:30:48,499 --> 00:30:49,773
- Do you mind?
- That's great.
543
00:30:50,042 --> 00:30:51,873
- Do you want to?
- Let's do that. Yeah.
544
00:30:52,169 --> 00:30:53,921
What do we owe here?
Four-fifty?
545
00:30:54,213 --> 00:30:56,647
No, I got it, I got a little
per diem going on here.
546
00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:59,074
- This good, for a tip?
- Yeah, that's fine.
547
00:30:59,385 --> 00:31:01,615
- That's more than enough.
- Throw that in too.
548
00:31:01,971 --> 00:31:05,327
- Is there anywhere to go around here?
- It's sales day today.
549
00:31:05,683 --> 00:31:08,481
- What's that?
- It's when everything's on sale in Paris.
550
00:31:09,103 --> 00:31:10,456
It's twice a year.
551
00:31:13,023 --> 00:31:14,615
All right, let's go shopping.
552
00:31:14,859 --> 00:31:17,851
No, no, no. That's a bad idea.
I don't wanna inflict that on you.
553
00:31:18,195 --> 00:31:21,949
It's madness. Let's just go
to this garden path. It's really nice.
554
00:31:22,449 --> 00:31:24,758
All right. That sounds
better than shopping, actually.
555
00:31:25,035 --> 00:31:27,071
Not that I wouldn't do
whatever you wanted.
556
00:31:27,329 --> 00:31:30,207
Sometimes I don't even need
to buy anything. I just get high...
557
00:31:30,499 --> 00:31:32,217
...on trying on
and looking at things.
558
00:31:32,459 --> 00:31:34,177
Is this where we're going?
559
00:31:34,420 --> 00:31:36,570
- Yeah.
- A therapist will tell you that's good.
560
00:31:36,839 --> 00:31:39,114
- Really? Are you ever in therapy?
- Oh, no.
561
00:31:39,425 --> 00:31:42,337
- Do I seem like I'm in therapy?
- I'm kidding.
562
00:31:42,887 --> 00:31:46,562
- Does it help your sex problems?
- My sex problems?
563
00:31:46,891 --> 00:31:48,370
- I'm kidding.
- Tell me the truth.
564
00:31:48,642 --> 00:31:50,792
- We didn't have any problems.
- No, I'm kidding.
565
00:31:51,103 --> 00:31:53,458
- We didn't even have sex.
- That's a joke, right?
566
00:31:53,772 --> 00:31:56,332
No, we didn't.
I mean, that was the whole thing.
567
00:31:56,609 --> 00:31:58,565
- Of course we did.
- No, no, no, we didn't.
568
00:31:58,861 --> 00:32:01,534
You didn't have a condom
and I never have sex without one.
569
00:32:01,864 --> 00:32:03,661
I'm extremely paranoid.
There's no way...
570
00:32:03,949 --> 00:32:06,383
I find it scary that you don't
remember what happened.
571
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:07,979
No, listen...
572
00:32:08,204 --> 00:32:10,798
...I didn't write an entire book,
but I kept a journal...
573
00:32:11,123 --> 00:32:14,911
...and I wrote the whole night in it.
That's what I meant, you idealizing it.
574
00:32:15,252 --> 00:32:18,369
All right, listen, I even remember
what brand of condom we used.
575
00:32:18,672 --> 00:32:20,503
That's disgusting.
I don't wanna hear it.
576
00:32:20,758 --> 00:32:23,192
- That's not disgusting.
- No.
577
00:32:23,552 --> 00:32:27,864
Okay, when I get home I'll check my
journal from '94, but I know I'm right.
578
00:32:30,935 --> 00:32:32,766
- Wait a minute.
- What?
579
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:35,659
- Was it in the cemetery?
- No.
580
00:32:35,981 --> 00:32:38,256
No, we went to the cemetery
in the afternoon.
581
00:32:38,526 --> 00:32:41,324
It was in the park, very late at night.
582
00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:43,891
- In the park?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
583
00:32:44,156 --> 00:32:45,908
I can't... I can't...
584
00:32:46,909 --> 00:32:50,060
Is it that forgettable? You really
don't remember? In the park?
585
00:32:50,412 --> 00:32:53,131
Okay. Wait a minute,
I think you might be right...
586
00:32:53,457 --> 00:32:54,731
You're messing with me now.
587
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,319
- No.
- Are you messing with me?
588
00:32:56,585 --> 00:32:59,622
Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think...
I mean, you're right, okay?
589
00:32:59,964 --> 00:33:03,274
Sometimes I put things in drawers
inside my head and forget about it.
590
00:33:03,634 --> 00:33:06,194
It's less painful to put things
away than live with it.
591
00:33:06,512 --> 00:33:09,106
What, so that night was, like,
a sad memory for you?
592
00:33:09,431 --> 00:33:11,183
I didn't mean that night
in particular.
593
00:33:11,433 --> 00:33:13,424
I meant certain things
are better forgotten.
594
00:33:13,727 --> 00:33:16,116
I remember that night
better than I do entire years.
595
00:33:16,438 --> 00:33:18,156
- Me too.
- Really?
596
00:33:18,399 --> 00:33:20,469
Well, I thought I did.
597
00:33:23,195 --> 00:33:26,710
But maybe I... Maybe I put it away
because of the fact that...
598
00:33:27,032 --> 00:33:30,024
...my grandmother's funeral was
the day we were supposed to meet.
599
00:33:30,369 --> 00:33:33,202
It was a tough day for me,
but it must've been worse for you.
600
00:33:33,539 --> 00:33:37,930
It was unreal. I remember looking
at her dead body in the coffin...
601
00:33:38,294 --> 00:33:42,492
...at her beautiful hands, so warm,
so sweet, that used to hold me...
602
00:33:43,174 --> 00:33:46,325
...but nothing in that coffin resembled
what I remembered of her.
603
00:33:46,635 --> 00:33:48,148
All the warmth was gone.
604
00:33:48,471 --> 00:33:51,144
And then I was crying,
so confused if I was crying...
605
00:33:51,432 --> 00:33:56,790
...because I was never gonna see her
again or never gonna see you again...
606
00:33:57,229 --> 00:34:00,904
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this.
I've been a little down this week.
607
00:34:01,275 --> 00:34:04,153
- Why?
- I don't know. Nothing bad, just...
608
00:34:04,487 --> 00:34:06,364
Reading your book, maybe?
609
00:34:06,614 --> 00:34:10,323
No, but... Thinking of how hopeful
I was that summer and fall...
610
00:34:10,701 --> 00:34:12,817
...and since then it's been kind of a...
611
00:34:13,496 --> 00:34:14,849
I don't know.
612
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:19,073
Memory is a wonderful thing if
you don't have to deal with the past.
613
00:34:21,962 --> 00:34:24,681
"Memory is wonderful if you don't
have to deal with the past. "
614
00:34:24,965 --> 00:34:26,557
Can I put that
on a bumper sticker?
615
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,394
If you wrote a book about our night,
that's a good title.
616
00:34:29,678 --> 00:34:33,387
- And it could be a total different book.
- Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes.
617
00:34:34,141 --> 00:34:35,415
- But you know what?
- What?
618
00:34:35,684 --> 00:34:37,003
Now that we've met again...
619
00:34:37,269 --> 00:34:39,783
...we can change our memory
of that December 6.
620
00:34:40,064 --> 00:34:43,340
It no longer has that sad ending
of us never seeing each other again.
621
00:34:43,692 --> 00:34:47,970
Right. I mean, I guess a memory's
never finished as long as you're alive.
622
00:34:48,364 --> 00:34:51,800
Yeah, I know. I have this memory
from my childhood...
623
00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:54,627
...I realized recently never happened.
- What?
624
00:34:54,912 --> 00:34:57,745
Well, when I was 8 or 9,
my mom was so paranoid...
625
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,793
...when I was walking home
from my piano lesson at night...
626
00:35:01,085 --> 00:35:03,679
...she'd warn me about dirty old men
giving me candies...
627
00:35:03,963 --> 00:35:05,715
...and then showing me
their pee-pees.
628
00:35:05,965 --> 00:35:08,923
She was so obsessed with it that,
later in life, you know...
629
00:35:09,218 --> 00:35:12,494
...I had this image in my head
that this really happened.
630
00:35:12,805 --> 00:35:16,195
To the point that I even associated sex
with that walk home.
631
00:35:16,517 --> 00:35:20,066
I mean, and sometimes,
even now, when I'm...
632
00:35:21,105 --> 00:35:24,893
When I'm having sex, I see myself
walking down that street.
633
00:35:25,234 --> 00:35:27,065
I swear. It's so weird, right?
634
00:35:27,319 --> 00:35:31,358
- Is that street nearby? I mean, could...?
- Could we? No.
635
00:35:31,699 --> 00:35:33,815
Very far.
636
00:35:35,077 --> 00:35:37,511
Did you ever keep a journal
when you were a kid?
637
00:35:37,788 --> 00:35:40,985
Yeah. On and off, I guess.
638
00:35:41,292 --> 00:35:43,362
It's funny, I read one of mine...
639
00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,424
...from '83 the other day.
- Yeah?
640
00:35:45,838 --> 00:35:47,430
And what really surprised me is...
641
00:35:47,673 --> 00:35:50,471
...that I was dealing with life
the same way I am now.
642
00:35:50,801 --> 00:35:52,712
I was much more hopeful and naive...
643
00:35:52,970 --> 00:35:57,088
...but the core, and the way I was
feeling things, is exactly the same.
644
00:35:57,433 --> 00:35:59,663
It made me realize
I haven't changed much at all.
645
00:35:59,935 --> 00:36:01,368
I don't think anybody does.
646
00:36:01,604 --> 00:36:05,233
People don't want to admit it, but it's
like we have these innate set points...
647
00:36:05,566 --> 00:36:09,036
...and nothing much that happens to us
changes our disposition.
648
00:36:09,361 --> 00:36:10,760
- You believe that?
- I think so.
649
00:36:10,988 --> 00:36:14,185
I read this study where they followed
people who'd won the lottery...
650
00:36:14,492 --> 00:36:16,289
...and people who'd become paraplegics.
651
00:36:16,535 --> 00:36:20,528
You'd think one extreme is gonna make
you euphoric and the other suicidal.
652
00:36:20,873 --> 00:36:23,467
But the study shows that,
after about six months...
653
00:36:23,751 --> 00:36:26,902
...as soon as people had gotten used to
their new situation...
654
00:36:27,213 --> 00:36:29,443
...they were, more or less, the same.
- The same?
655
00:36:29,715 --> 00:36:32,787
Yeah. Like, if they were basically
an optimistic, jovial person...
656
00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:35,812
...they're now an optimistic, jovial
person in a wheelchair.
657
00:36:36,138 --> 00:36:38,015
If they're a petty, miserable asshole...
658
00:36:38,265 --> 00:36:42,053
...they're a petty, miserable asshole
with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat.
659
00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:45,591
So I'll be forever depressed
no matter what great things happen?
660
00:36:45,898 --> 00:36:47,217
- Definitely.
- Great.
661
00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:49,079
No, come on, are you depressed now?
662
00:36:49,318 --> 00:36:51,513
No, no, I'm not depressed.
663
00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:54,339
But sometimes I worry
I'll get to the end of my life...
664
00:36:54,615 --> 00:36:58,005
...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to.
- Well, what do you want to do?
665
00:36:58,327 --> 00:36:59,965
I...
666
00:37:00,204 --> 00:37:03,116
I want to paint more,
I want to play my guitar every day.
667
00:37:03,415 --> 00:37:06,487
I want to learn Chinese.
I want to write more songs.
668
00:37:06,794 --> 00:37:10,946
There's so many things I want to do,
and I end up doing not much.
669
00:37:12,049 --> 00:37:17,646
All right, well, let me ask you this:
Do you believe in ghosts or spirits?
670
00:37:18,055 --> 00:37:19,374
No.
671
00:37:19,598 --> 00:37:20,872
- No?
- No.
672
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:24,695
- Okay, what about reincarnation?
- Not at all.
673
00:37:25,020 --> 00:37:26,897
- God?
- No.
674
00:37:27,148 --> 00:37:29,537
- All right.
- That sounds terrible. No, no, no.
675
00:37:29,817 --> 00:37:33,571
But I don't want to be one of those
people that don't believe in any magic.
676
00:37:33,904 --> 00:37:35,735
- So then, astrology?
- Yes, of course!
677
00:37:35,990 --> 00:37:37,742
- There we go.
- That makes sense, right?
678
00:37:37,992 --> 00:37:41,268
You're a Scorpio,
I'm a Sag, we get along.
679
00:37:42,329 --> 00:37:44,081
No, no, no.
680
00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:47,243
There's an Einstein quote
I really, really like.
681
00:37:47,543 --> 00:37:50,899
He said, "If you don't believe
in any kind of magic or mystery
682
00:37:51,213 --> 00:37:53,932
you're basically as good as dead. "
- Yeah, I like that.
683
00:37:54,216 --> 00:37:57,413
I've always felt there was some kind of
mystical core to the universe.
684
00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:02,714
But, more recently, I've started to think
that, me, my personality, whatever...
685
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:06,058
That I don't have any permanent
place here, you know.
686
00:38:06,353 --> 00:38:07,945
In eternity or whatever, you know.
687
00:38:08,189 --> 00:38:11,864
And the more I think that, I can't go
through life saying this is no big deal.
688
00:38:12,193 --> 00:38:15,549
This is it. This is actually happening.
What do you think is interesting?
689
00:38:15,863 --> 00:38:17,933
What do you think is funny?
What is important?
690
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,435
You know, every day's our last.
691
00:38:20,910 --> 00:38:24,266
When I feel that way, I usually
call my mom to tell her I love her.
692
00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:26,138
- Yeah?
- And she's always:
693
00:38:26,373 --> 00:38:30,332
"Are you okay? Do you have cancer?
Are you gonna commit suicide?"
694
00:38:30,669 --> 00:38:33,183
It's almost not worth it.
695
00:38:34,507 --> 00:38:37,180
So, what about us?
696
00:38:37,468 --> 00:38:39,902
- What about us?
- No, what I mean is...
697
00:38:40,179 --> 00:38:43,615
...if we were both going to die tonight...
- Like the apocalypse was coming?
698
00:38:43,933 --> 00:38:47,892
No, that's too dramatic... But what if
just the two of us were going to die?
699
00:38:48,229 --> 00:38:50,106
I mean, would we talk
about your book?
700
00:38:50,356 --> 00:38:52,995
- The environment? Or...
- If today was our last day?
701
00:38:53,275 --> 00:38:55,789
Yeah, what would we talk about?
What would you tell me?
702
00:38:56,070 --> 00:38:57,549
- Well...
- That's hard, huh?
703
00:38:57,780 --> 00:38:59,054
- No, no, I'll do it.
- Okay.
704
00:38:59,281 --> 00:39:01,636
I definitely would
stop talking about my book.
705
00:39:01,909 --> 00:39:04,469
- I would probably drop the environment.
- Okay.
706
00:39:04,745 --> 00:39:08,533
But I would still want to talk about,
you know, the magic in the universe.
707
00:39:08,874 --> 00:39:11,946
- I'd just want to do it from a...
- What?
708
00:39:12,253 --> 00:39:13,811
...a hotel room, you know...
709
00:39:14,046 --> 00:39:17,675
...in between sessions of us
wildly fucking until we die.
710
00:39:18,008 --> 00:39:20,727
Wow. Well, why waste time
with an hotel room?
711
00:39:21,011 --> 00:39:24,287
Why not do it right there on a bench?
712
00:39:25,182 --> 00:39:27,457
Come here, come here, come here.
713
00:39:27,726 --> 00:39:30,035
Okay. We're not gonna die tonight.
714
00:39:30,312 --> 00:39:32,268
All right. Too bad. I'm sorry.
715
00:39:32,523 --> 00:39:34,002
That was an extreme example.
716
00:39:34,233 --> 00:39:36,588
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
717
00:39:36,861 --> 00:39:38,453
What I... My point was, you know...
718
00:39:38,696 --> 00:39:41,415
...to truly communicate with
people is very hard to do.
719
00:39:41,699 --> 00:39:44,372
No, I know, most of our
day-to-day exchanges...
720
00:39:44,660 --> 00:39:46,139
Yeah, no, I mean...
721
00:39:46,370 --> 00:39:48,884
...not to bring everything back to sex...
- But why not?
722
00:39:49,165 --> 00:39:52,157
No, this example, this friend of mine,
she was talking about...
723
00:39:52,459 --> 00:39:55,371
- She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed.
- Right.
724
00:39:55,713 --> 00:39:59,069
And how when they had been dating
for a year she started telling him...
725
00:39:59,383 --> 00:40:02,261
...what he could do to please her more,
and it freaked him out.
726
00:40:02,553 --> 00:40:03,827
- Why?
- Totally.
727
00:40:04,096 --> 00:40:06,007
He thought it meant
he was a bad lover...
728
00:40:06,265 --> 00:40:08,062
Maybe she shouldn't have
waited so long.
729
00:40:08,309 --> 00:40:10,584
- After a year...
- But men are so easily offended.
730
00:40:10,853 --> 00:40:13,242
- What, more than women?
- Definitely on that subject.
731
00:40:13,522 --> 00:40:14,841
- You think so?
- Yeah, yeah.
732
00:40:15,649 --> 00:40:17,685
Well, maybe it's because, you know...
733
00:40:17,943 --> 00:40:21,822
...men are easier to... To please.
- To please?
734
00:40:22,198 --> 00:40:25,076
- Well, I don't know.
- Yeah, they are. They're definitely.
735
00:40:25,409 --> 00:40:27,445
Anyway, this friend,
she was telling me...
736
00:40:27,703 --> 00:40:31,218
...next time she dates a man,
she's gonna make a little questionnaire...
737
00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:34,850
...about what they like and dislike...
- What, written down, or out loud?
738
00:40:35,169 --> 00:40:36,841
Yeah, mostly written down.
739
00:40:37,087 --> 00:40:40,602
But it wouldn't be just yes or no.
It would be a bit more complex than that.
740
00:40:40,925 --> 00:40:44,281
Like, for example, if the question is:
"Are you into S & M?"
741
00:40:44,595 --> 00:40:49,225
The answer could be: "No, but a good
spanking once in a while doesn't hurt. "
742
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,149
Right, or like:
"Do you like talking dirty in bed?"
743
00:40:53,479 --> 00:40:56,789
- That kind of thing?
- Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk.
744
00:40:57,107 --> 00:40:59,382
Just "What specific word
would you like to hear?"
745
00:40:59,652 --> 00:41:00,926
- What, me?
- Well, yeah.
746
00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,713
For example what specific word
would you like to hear?
747
00:41:03,989 --> 00:41:05,547
I don't know.
748
00:41:07,117 --> 00:41:09,551
What do you feel about the word
"pussy"?
749
00:41:09,829 --> 00:41:12,502
I love it.
750
00:41:12,998 --> 00:41:14,590
Good.
751
00:41:14,834 --> 00:41:17,712
It's amazing what perverts we've
become in the past nine years.
752
00:41:18,003 --> 00:41:21,154
At least now we don't have to pretend
each new sexual experience...
753
00:41:21,465 --> 00:41:23,103
...is, like, a life-altering event.
754
00:41:23,342 --> 00:41:26,698
I know. By now, you've stuck it in
so many places it's about to fall off.
755
00:41:27,012 --> 00:41:30,561
And I can't realistically expect you've
become anything but a total ho.
756
00:41:30,891 --> 00:41:34,167
- Yeah, thank you.
- No, I'm s...
757
00:41:34,895 --> 00:41:37,773
- That's true. What can you do?
- What can you do?
758
00:41:38,065 --> 00:41:41,694
So, what kind of songs do you write?
I didn't know you did that.
759
00:41:42,027 --> 00:41:43,176
- What kind?
- Yeah, sure.
760
00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:44,996
- I don't know, just songs.
- Like?
761
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,799
Like, some are about,
you know, people.
762
00:41:48,075 --> 00:41:49,667
Relationships. One's about my cat.
763
00:41:49,910 --> 00:41:52,299
- Sing one.
- No, I can't. I don't have a guitar.
764
00:41:52,580 --> 00:41:54,093
- Come on. A cappella.
- No, no, no.
765
00:41:54,331 --> 00:41:57,368
I'm not singing a song without a guitar.
You're nuts.
766
00:41:58,002 --> 00:41:59,833
Why not?
767
00:42:00,087 --> 00:42:02,442
- No, okay. Not now. No.
- One.
768
00:42:02,715 --> 00:42:05,832
If not now, when? You want to meet
here in six months with a guitar?
769
00:42:06,135 --> 00:42:07,568
I'll fly all the way over here.
770
00:42:07,803 --> 00:42:10,681
- You may or may not make the Métro.
- Okay, that's funny.
771
00:42:11,182 --> 00:42:13,173
- We've got to get back.
- We'll be all right.
772
00:42:13,434 --> 00:42:15,345
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- All right.
773
00:42:15,603 --> 00:42:17,355
We can walk down La Seine.
It's nice.
774
00:42:17,605 --> 00:42:19,118
Okay.
775
00:42:19,773 --> 00:42:23,322
- So you're flying back to New York?
- Yeah, yeah.
776
00:42:25,362 --> 00:42:29,150
So I read in that article that
you're married with a kid. That's great.
777
00:42:29,492 --> 00:42:31,881
Yeah, he's... He's 4.
778
00:42:32,161 --> 00:42:34,277
- What's his name?
- Henry. Little Hank.
779
00:42:34,538 --> 00:42:37,211
- He's so much fun.
- Oh, wow, I'm sure.
780
00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:40,333
- Your wife, what does she do?
- She teaches elementary school.
781
00:42:41,003 --> 00:42:43,471
- Do you have kids?
- Yes, two... Shit!
782
00:42:43,756 --> 00:42:45,155
- What?
- I left them in the car!
783
00:42:45,382 --> 00:42:47,942
With the windows up, six months ago!
Think they're okay?
784
00:42:48,219 --> 00:42:50,733
No, I'm kidding.
No, but I want to have kids someday.
785
00:42:51,013 --> 00:42:52,810
- I'm just not ready yet.
- No?
786
00:42:53,057 --> 00:42:56,094
- I'm in a good relationship, though.
- Oh yeah? That's good.
787
00:42:56,393 --> 00:42:58,384
- What's he do?
- He's a photojournalist.
788
00:42:58,646 --> 00:43:00,398
He does war coverage.
789
00:43:00,648 --> 00:43:03,116
He's away a lot, which is good
because I'm so busy.
790
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,313
But isn't that dangerous? Aren't a lot of
those guys getting killed these days?
791
00:43:07,655 --> 00:43:10,772
He promises me he doesn't take risks,
but I often worry.
792
00:43:11,075 --> 00:43:13,509
He goes in this trance when
he photographs something.
793
00:43:13,786 --> 00:43:16,983
- What do you mean?
- Well, once we were in New Delhi...
794
00:43:17,289 --> 00:43:18,722
...and we passed a bum on the...
795
00:43:18,958 --> 00:43:21,108
- A bomb?
- A bum. A homeless.
796
00:43:21,377 --> 00:43:22,651
All right, right.
797
00:43:22,878 --> 00:43:26,553
He looked like he needed help, but his
first reaction was to photograph him.
798
00:43:26,882 --> 00:43:29,601
He went really close to his face,
fixing his collar...
799
00:43:29,885 --> 00:43:31,557
...totally detached from the person.
800
00:43:31,804 --> 00:43:34,443
But don't you have to be like that
to be good at that job?
801
00:43:34,723 --> 00:43:35,997
Yeah, I mean, I'm not...
802
00:43:36,225 --> 00:43:39,217
I'm not judging him.
What he does is essential and incredible.
803
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,556
All I'm saying is that
I could never do it.
804
00:43:41,814 --> 00:43:43,486
Let's get on that boat. Come on.
805
00:43:43,732 --> 00:43:45,006
- No!
- Come on, it'll be fun.
806
00:43:45,234 --> 00:43:47,464
- You don't have time!
- They're about to take off.
807
00:43:47,736 --> 00:43:50,045
I've got 5 more minutes.
Do you have a cell phone?
808
00:43:50,322 --> 00:43:52,552
- Yeah.
- All right, I've got that driver's number.
809
00:43:52,825 --> 00:43:54,895
I can call him to pick us up
at the next stop.
810
00:43:55,161 --> 00:43:58,870
I've never been on those boats.
It's for tourists, it's embarrassing.
811
00:43:59,206 --> 00:44:00,480
Okay. All right.
812
00:44:03,961 --> 00:44:05,519
No, I'll get it, I'll get it.
813
00:44:06,380 --> 00:44:08,848
All right. All right, all right.
814
00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:13,744
Thank you.
815
00:44:13,971 --> 00:44:16,041
- So are you in love with that guy?
- What guy?
816
00:44:16,307 --> 00:44:19,504
- The war photographer.
- Yes, of course.
817
00:44:23,439 --> 00:44:25,555
So do you have that cell phone?
818
00:44:25,816 --> 00:44:27,488
Oh, yeah.
819
00:44:27,735 --> 00:44:29,487
- Okay, let's see...
- Okay.
820
00:44:29,737 --> 00:44:31,011
What do I tell him?
821
00:44:31,238 --> 00:44:33,354
Tell him to pick you up at
Quai Henri Quatre.
822
00:44:33,616 --> 00:44:36,289
Oh, shit. Quai...?
823
00:44:36,577 --> 00:44:39,250
Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre.
824
00:44:39,538 --> 00:44:41,494
Henri Quatre.
825
00:44:41,749 --> 00:44:44,627
What's wrong with you? No, do you
want me to...? Henri Quatre.
826
00:44:44,919 --> 00:44:46,238
- Henry Four?
- Yes!
827
00:44:46,462 --> 00:44:49,340
- Come on, why didn't you say so?
- I'm sorry. Okay.
828
00:45:01,602 --> 00:45:03,433
Yeah, is this Philippe?
829
00:45:03,687 --> 00:45:06,247
Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace.
830
00:45:06,524 --> 00:45:07,843
Yeah.
831
00:45:08,067 --> 00:45:12,140
Well, listen, I'm on
one of those boats, right?
832
00:45:12,488 --> 00:45:15,286
And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four.
833
00:45:15,574 --> 00:45:18,805
At Port Henry Four.
You know what that is?
834
00:45:19,119 --> 00:45:21,508
All right, great.
And you have my bags, right?
835
00:45:21,789 --> 00:45:24,622
Yeah, so we'll be there in...
I don't know, it's the next stop.
836
00:45:24,917 --> 00:45:27,192
Okay. Au revoir.
837
00:45:28,379 --> 00:45:30,734
- It's okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
838
00:45:31,006 --> 00:45:32,883
Oh, wow.
839
00:45:33,134 --> 00:45:35,728
- Notre Dame, man. Check that out.
- Oh, wow.
840
00:45:36,011 --> 00:45:39,845
I heard this story once about when
the Germans were occupying Paris...
841
00:45:40,182 --> 00:45:41,740
...and they had to retreat back.
842
00:45:41,976 --> 00:45:43,853
They wired Notre Dame to blow...
843
00:45:44,103 --> 00:45:48,176
...but they had to leave one guy
in charge of hitting the switch.
844
00:45:48,524 --> 00:45:51,482
And the guy, the soldier,
he couldn't do it.
845
00:45:51,777 --> 00:45:55,326
He just sat there, knocked out
by how beautiful the place was.
846
00:45:55,656 --> 00:45:57,453
Then, when the Allied troops
came in...
847
00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:01,056
...they found all the explosives
lying there and the switch unturned...
848
00:46:01,370 --> 00:46:04,885
...and they found the same thing
at the Sacré-Coeur, Eiffel Tower...
849
00:46:05,207 --> 00:46:07,402
...couple other places, I think.
850
00:46:07,668 --> 00:46:09,545
Is that true?
851
00:46:09,795 --> 00:46:12,753
I don't know.
I always liked the story, though.
852
00:46:13,048 --> 00:46:14,367
Yeah, that's a great story.
853
00:46:14,633 --> 00:46:17,386
But you have to think that Notre Dame
will be gone one day.
854
00:46:17,678 --> 00:46:20,715
There used to be another church
at the Seine, right there.
855
00:46:21,015 --> 00:46:23,734
- What, right in the same spot?
- Yeah.
856
00:46:25,311 --> 00:46:27,666
You know, this is great.
I've never done this.
857
00:46:27,938 --> 00:46:30,452
- Yeah.
- I forget about how beautiful Paris is.
858
00:46:30,733 --> 00:46:32,291
It's not so bad, being a tourist.
859
00:46:32,526 --> 00:46:34,915
- Thanks for getting me on the boat.
- You're welcome.
860
00:46:35,196 --> 00:46:37,994
I think that book that I wrote
was like building something...
861
00:46:38,616 --> 00:46:42,609
...so that I wouldn't forget the details
of the time that we spent together.
862
00:46:42,995 --> 00:46:46,590
You know, like, just as a reminder,
that once, we really did meet.
863
00:46:46,916 --> 00:46:49,749
You know, that this was real,
this happened.
864
00:46:50,044 --> 00:46:51,955
I'm happy you're saying that,
because...
865
00:46:52,213 --> 00:46:56,331
I mean, I always feel like a freak because
I'm never able to move on like this:
866
00:46:57,635 --> 00:47:00,786
People just have an affair,
or even entire relationships...
867
00:47:01,138 --> 00:47:03,413
...they break up and they forget.
868
00:47:03,682 --> 00:47:07,391
They move on like they would have
changed brand of cereals.
869
00:47:08,187 --> 00:47:11,304
I feel I was never able to forget
anyone I've been with...
870
00:47:11,607 --> 00:47:16,965
...because each person had their own
specific qualities.
871
00:47:17,363 --> 00:47:21,993
You can never replace anyone.
What is lost is lost.
872
00:47:23,369 --> 00:47:27,362
Each relationship, when it ends,
really damages me. I never fully recover.
873
00:47:27,706 --> 00:47:30,743
That's why I'm very careful
with getting involved...
874
00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:32,999
...because it hurts too much.
875
00:47:33,254 --> 00:47:36,291
Even getting laid,
I actually don't do that...
876
00:47:36,590 --> 00:47:39,388
...because I will miss of the person
the most mundane things.
877
00:47:39,677 --> 00:47:42,271
Like I'm obsessed with little things.
878
00:47:42,721 --> 00:47:44,951
Maybe I'm crazy,
but when I was a little girl...
879
00:47:45,224 --> 00:47:48,022
...my mom told me
that I was always late to school.
880
00:47:48,310 --> 00:47:50,585
One day she followed me to see why.
881
00:47:50,896 --> 00:47:55,014
I was looking at chestnuts falling from
the trees, rolling on the sidewalk...
882
00:47:55,359 --> 00:48:00,877
...or ants crossing the road, the way
a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk.
883
00:48:01,282 --> 00:48:03,238
Little things.
884
00:48:03,826 --> 00:48:05,578
I think it's the same with people.
885
00:48:06,162 --> 00:48:08,960
I see in them little details,
so specific to each of them...
886
00:48:09,248 --> 00:48:13,207
...that move me and that I miss
and will always miss.
887
00:48:13,544 --> 00:48:14,977
You can never replace anyone...
888
00:48:15,212 --> 00:48:19,000
...because everyone is made of such
beautiful, specific details.
889
00:48:22,636 --> 00:48:25,787
Like, I remember the way your beard
has a bit of red in it...
890
00:48:26,682 --> 00:48:29,242
...and how the sun
was making it glow...
891
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,233
...that morning right before you left.
892
00:48:33,272 --> 00:48:37,026
I remembered that, and I missed it.
893
00:48:37,359 --> 00:48:38,633
Really crazy, right?
894
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:43,074
Now I know for sure. You wanna
know why I wrote that stupid book?
895
00:48:43,449 --> 00:48:46,247
- Why?
- So you'd come to a reading in Paris...
896
00:48:46,577 --> 00:48:50,570
...and I could walk up to you and ask,
"Where the fuck were you?"
897
00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:53,281
No... You think I'd be here today?
898
00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:57,899
I'm serious. I think I wrote it,
in a way, to try to find you.
899
00:48:58,297 --> 00:49:00,288
Okay, that's... I know that's not true...
900
00:49:00,549 --> 00:49:02,779
...but that's sweet of you.
- I think it is true.
901
00:49:03,093 --> 00:49:05,448
What were the chances
of us ever meeting again?
902
00:49:06,347 --> 00:49:09,419
After that December,
I'd say almost zero.
903
00:49:09,975 --> 00:49:11,931
But we're not real anyway, right?
904
00:49:12,186 --> 00:49:15,258
We're just characters
in that old lady's dream.
905
00:49:15,564 --> 00:49:17,873
She's on her deathbed,
fantasizing about her youth.
906
00:49:18,150 --> 00:49:20,141
So of course we had to meet again.
907
00:49:20,402 --> 00:49:24,156
Oh, God. Why weren't you there
in Vienna?
908
00:49:25,491 --> 00:49:29,086
- I told you why.
- I know why, I just...
909
00:49:29,411 --> 00:49:31,561
I wish you would have been.
910
00:49:31,831 --> 00:49:33,981
Our lives might have been
so much different.
911
00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,366
You think so?
912
00:49:36,627 --> 00:49:38,185
I actually do.
913
00:49:38,462 --> 00:49:41,454
Maybe not. Maybe we would have
hated each other eventually.
914
00:49:41,799 --> 00:49:44,552
What, like we hate each other now?
915
00:49:45,594 --> 00:49:49,906
You know, maybe we're...
We're only good at brief encounters...
916
00:49:50,266 --> 00:49:54,305
...walking around in European cities,
in warm climate.
917
00:49:54,979 --> 00:49:57,971
Oh, God. Why didn't we
exchange phone numbers and stuff?
918
00:49:58,274 --> 00:50:00,344
Why didn't we do that?
919
00:50:00,609 --> 00:50:02,884
Because we were young and stupid.
920
00:50:03,154 --> 00:50:05,349
Do you think we still are?
921
00:50:05,614 --> 00:50:07,650
I guess when you're young
you just believe...
922
00:50:07,908 --> 00:50:10,342
...there'll be many people
you'll connect with.
923
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,634
Later in life you realize
it only happens a few times.
924
00:50:13,914 --> 00:50:17,384
And you can screw it up, you know.
Misconnect.
925
00:50:17,751 --> 00:50:20,060
The past is the past.
It was meant to be that way.
926
00:50:20,337 --> 00:50:22,897
You really believe that?
That everything's fated?
927
00:50:23,174 --> 00:50:27,008
Well, you know, the world might be
less free than we think.
928
00:50:27,344 --> 00:50:28,982
Yeah?
929
00:50:29,305 --> 00:50:33,059
When given these exact circumstances,
that's what will happen every time.
930
00:50:33,392 --> 00:50:36,304
Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen,
you'll get water every time.
931
00:50:36,604 --> 00:50:39,880
No, I mean, what if your grandmother
had lived a week longer, you know?
932
00:50:40,191 --> 00:50:42,705
Or passed away a week earlier?
Days, even?
933
00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:44,498
Things might have been different.
934
00:50:44,737 --> 00:50:48,776
- You can't think like that, it's...
- You shouldn't on most things, but...
935
00:50:49,116 --> 00:50:54,110
It's just, on this one, it seemed like
something was off, you know.
936
00:50:54,830 --> 00:50:58,425
In the months leading up to my wedding,
I was thinking about you all the time.
937
00:50:58,751 --> 00:51:02,426
Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a
buddy of mine is driving me downtown...
938
00:51:02,755 --> 00:51:05,394
...and I'm staring out the window
and I think I see you...
939
00:51:05,674 --> 00:51:07,744
...not far from the church, right...
940
00:51:08,010 --> 00:51:10,399
...folding up an umbrella
and walking into a deli...
941
00:51:10,679 --> 00:51:14,149
...on the corner of 3th and Broadway.
942
00:51:14,475 --> 00:51:17,865
And I thought I was going crazy.
But now I think it probably was you.
943
00:51:18,813 --> 00:51:21,327
I lived on th and Broadway.
944
00:51:22,233 --> 00:51:24,030
You see?
945
00:51:25,402 --> 00:51:28,997
So, what is it like to be married?
You haven't talked much about that.
946
00:51:30,074 --> 00:51:33,464
I haven't? How weird.
947
00:51:34,119 --> 00:51:37,907
I don't know. We met, you know,
when I was in college.
948
00:51:38,249 --> 00:51:44,358
And we broke up and got back together
for a period of years, and then...
949
00:51:45,256 --> 00:51:49,295
What? We were sort of back together
and she was pregnant...
950
00:51:50,136 --> 00:51:51,649
...so marriage.
951
00:51:51,887 --> 00:51:53,843
What is she like?
952
00:51:54,098 --> 00:51:57,010
She's a great teacher, a good mom.
953
00:51:57,309 --> 00:52:00,221
She's smart, pretty, you know.
954
00:52:00,521 --> 00:52:02,512
I remember thinking at the time...
955
00:52:02,773 --> 00:52:05,048
...that so many of the men
that I admired most...
956
00:52:05,317 --> 00:52:09,947
...that their lives were dedicated to
something greater than themselves.
957
00:52:10,906 --> 00:52:13,500
So you got married because
men you admired were married?
958
00:52:13,784 --> 00:52:19,780
No, no. It's more like I had this...
This idea of my best self, you know?
959
00:52:20,207 --> 00:52:21,879
And I wanted to pursue that...
960
00:52:22,126 --> 00:52:24,765
...even if it might have been
overriding my honest self.
961
00:52:25,045 --> 00:52:26,398
You know what I'm saying?
962
00:52:26,630 --> 00:52:30,987
In the moment, I remember thinking
it didn't much matter, the who of it all.
963
00:52:31,385 --> 00:52:33,774
I mean, that nobody is gonna be
everything to you...
964
00:52:34,054 --> 00:52:36,807
...and that it's just the action
of committing yourself...
965
00:52:37,099 --> 00:52:40,455
...you know, meeting
your responsibilities, that matters.
966
00:52:40,769 --> 00:52:44,239
I mean, what is love, right,
if it's not respect, trust, admiration?
967
00:52:44,565 --> 00:52:47,523
And I... I felt all those things.
968
00:52:47,818 --> 00:52:50,571
Cut to the present,
and I feel like I'm running a nursery...
969
00:52:50,863 --> 00:52:53,423
...with somebody I used to date,
you know.
970
00:52:53,699 --> 00:52:55,451
I mean, I'm like a monk, you know.
971
00:52:55,701 --> 00:53:00,377
I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times
in the last four years.
972
00:53:01,081 --> 00:53:03,549
- What, what? You laughing at me?
- No.
973
00:53:03,834 --> 00:53:06,553
- It sounds pathetic?
- What monastery do monks have sex...?
974
00:53:06,837 --> 00:53:10,034
Okay, you're right, I'm doing better
than most monks.
975
00:53:10,341 --> 00:53:12,730
But I do, I feel like if somebody
were to touch me...
976
00:53:13,010 --> 00:53:15,126
...I would dissolve into molecules.
977
00:53:15,387 --> 00:53:18,026
Well, we're here. We've gotta go.
Come on.
978
00:53:18,307 --> 00:53:20,104
Shit.
979
00:53:32,696 --> 00:53:35,529
- I'm sorry to hear that, you know.
- What?
980
00:53:35,825 --> 00:53:38,783
You're not that happy
with your marriage.
981
00:53:39,078 --> 00:53:41,638
- This friend of mine, she's a shrink...
- How's she doing?
982
00:53:41,914 --> 00:53:43,427
She's a mess, but...
983
00:53:43,666 --> 00:53:46,783
No, she said she's been dealing
with couples that are breaking up...
984
00:53:47,086 --> 00:53:49,156
...for the same reason.
- What reason is that?
985
00:53:49,421 --> 00:53:52,060
They all expected, after a few
years of living together...
986
00:53:52,341 --> 00:53:54,571
...for the passion, that desire,
to be the same.
987
00:53:54,844 --> 00:53:56,243
- Yeah, right.
- It's impossible.
988
00:53:56,470 --> 00:53:57,744
And thank God...
989
00:53:57,972 --> 00:54:01,567
...we'd end up with aneurysms in that
constant state of excitement, right?
990
00:54:01,892 --> 00:54:03,610
We'd do nothing at all
with our lives.
991
00:54:03,853 --> 00:54:07,209
Would you have finished your book
if you were fucking every five minutes?
992
00:54:07,523 --> 00:54:09,991
I might have welcomed the challenge,
I mean...
993
00:54:10,317 --> 00:54:12,956
It's natural for your wife
after the birth of your son...
994
00:54:13,237 --> 00:54:15,751
...to give all her love to the little one.
- Of course.
995
00:54:16,031 --> 00:54:19,068
If she was obsessed with sex,
riding you like a wildcat...
996
00:54:19,368 --> 00:54:21,040
That wouldn't make any sense, right?
997
00:54:21,287 --> 00:54:24,723
Everything you're saying makes sense.
It's not about sex.
998
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,156
No, I know. It's obvious.
999
00:54:27,418 --> 00:54:28,931
I...
1000
00:54:30,129 --> 00:54:33,201
You know, couples
are so confused lately.
1001
00:54:33,507 --> 00:54:35,702
I think it must be that...
1002
00:54:35,968 --> 00:54:39,756
...men need to feel essential
and they don't anymore.
1003
00:54:40,097 --> 00:54:42,531
It's been imprinted in their head
for so many years...
1004
00:54:42,808 --> 00:54:44,446
...that they had to be the provider.
1005
00:54:44,685 --> 00:54:48,200
Like, I'm a strong, independent woman
in my professional life.
1006
00:54:48,522 --> 00:54:50,001
I don't need a man to feed me...
1007
00:54:50,232 --> 00:54:53,429
...but I still need a man to love me
and that I could love.
1008
00:54:54,945 --> 00:54:57,505
- So your driver's here.
- Yeah.
1009
00:54:57,823 --> 00:54:59,415
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
1010
00:54:59,658 --> 00:55:01,250
- You better give me your...
- No, no.
1011
00:55:01,494 --> 00:55:03,610
Why don't we just
give you a ride home?
1012
00:55:03,871 --> 00:55:06,101
- Well, I can take the Métro. I'm fine.
- No, I...
1013
00:55:06,373 --> 00:55:09,206
My flight's not until 0.
I'll be arriving two hours early.
1014
00:55:09,502 --> 00:55:10,855
This way we can keep talking.
1015
00:55:11,086 --> 00:55:13,122
- Monsieur, can...?
- It's not on the way.
1016
00:55:27,978 --> 00:55:29,809
You told him where you are
and all that?
1017
00:55:30,064 --> 00:55:31,622
Yeah.
1018
00:55:35,027 --> 00:55:37,382
- He knows where he's going?
- Yes.
1019
00:55:37,655 --> 00:55:39,452
Glad somebody does.
1020
00:55:39,698 --> 00:55:43,657
- But this is better than the Métro, right?
- Definitely.
1021
00:55:46,247 --> 00:55:50,479
I was thinking, for me it's better I don't
romanticize things as much anymore.
1022
00:55:50,835 --> 00:55:52,632
I was suffering so much all the time.
1023
00:55:52,878 --> 00:55:56,234
I still have lots of dreams,
but they're not in regard to my love life.
1024
00:55:56,590 --> 00:55:58,865
It doesn't make me sad,
it's just the way it is.
1025
00:55:59,176 --> 00:56:03,135
Is that why you're in a relationship
with somebody who's never around?
1026
00:56:03,472 --> 00:56:07,226
Yes, obviously I can't deal with
the day-to-day life of a relationship.
1027
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,551
Yeah, we have this
exciting time together...
1028
00:56:09,812 --> 00:56:13,043
...and he leaves and I miss him,
but at least I'm not dying inside.
1029
00:56:13,357 --> 00:56:15,666
When someone's always around me,
I'm suffocating.
1030
00:56:15,985 --> 00:56:18,738
No, wait, you just said
that you need to love and be loved.
1031
00:56:19,071 --> 00:56:21,790
Yeah, but when I do,
it quickly makes me nauseous.
1032
00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:23,473
It's a disaster.
1033
00:56:23,701 --> 00:56:26,261
I mean, I'm really happy
only when I'm on my own.
1034
00:56:26,537 --> 00:56:31,213
Even being alone, it's better than sitting
next to a lover and feeling lonely.
1035
00:56:32,084 --> 00:56:33,915
It's not so easy for me
to be a romantic.
1036
00:56:34,170 --> 00:56:37,526
You start off that way, and after
you've been screwed over a few times...
1037
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:41,992
...you forget about your delusional ideas
and you take what comes into your life.
1038
00:56:42,845 --> 00:56:45,234
That's not even true.
I haven't been screwed over...
1039
00:56:45,514 --> 00:56:47,823
...I've just had too many
blah relationships.
1040
00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:49,852
They weren't mean,
they cared for me...
1041
00:56:50,102 --> 00:56:53,458
...but there were no real connection
or excitement.
1042
00:56:53,772 --> 00:56:55,842
At least, not from my side.
1043
00:56:56,108 --> 00:56:58,668
God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad?
1044
00:56:58,944 --> 00:57:00,900
It's not, right?
1045
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,878
You know, it's not even that.
I was...
1046
00:57:05,159 --> 00:57:08,196
I was fine until I read
your fucking book.
1047
00:57:08,829 --> 00:57:10,421
It stirred shit up, you know?
1048
00:57:10,873 --> 00:57:13,387
It reminded me how
genuinely romantic I was...
1049
00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:15,737
...how I had so much hope in things...
1050
00:57:16,003 --> 00:57:19,393
...and now it's like I don't believe
in anything that relates to love.
1051
00:57:19,715 --> 00:57:21,626
I don't feel things for people anymore.
1052
00:57:22,843 --> 00:57:26,358
In a way, I put all my romanticism
into that one night...
1053
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,069
...and I was never able to feel
all this again.
1054
00:57:29,350 --> 00:57:31,784
Like, somehow this night
took things away from me...
1055
00:57:32,061 --> 00:57:34,370
...and I expressed them to you,
and you took them with you.
1056
00:57:34,647 --> 00:57:36,444
It made me feel cold,
like love wasn't for me.
1057
00:57:36,690 --> 00:57:39,329
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.
1058
00:57:40,694 --> 00:57:44,767
You know what? Reality and love
are almost contradictory for me.
1059
00:57:45,115 --> 00:57:49,233
It's funny, every single of my exes,
they're now married.
1060
00:57:49,578 --> 00:57:52,376
Men go out with me, we break up,
and then they get married.
1061
00:57:52,665 --> 00:57:56,021
And later they call me to thank me
for teaching them what love is...
1062
00:57:56,335 --> 00:57:58,724
...and that I taught them to care
and respect women.
1063
00:57:59,004 --> 00:58:01,279
- I think I'm one of those.
- I want to kill them!
1064
00:58:01,590 --> 00:58:05,060
Why didn't they ask me? I would have
said no, but they could have asked!
1065
00:58:05,386 --> 00:58:09,015
I know it's my fault because
I never felt it was the right man.
1066
00:58:09,390 --> 00:58:12,462
Never. But what does it mean,
the right man, the love of your life?
1067
00:58:12,768 --> 00:58:15,965
The concept is absurd. We can only be
complete with another person.
1068
00:58:16,313 --> 00:58:18,588
- It's evil, right?
- Can I talk?
1069
00:58:18,858 --> 00:58:22,134
I guess I've been heartbroken
too many times and then I recovered.
1070
00:58:22,444 --> 00:58:24,958
So now, you know, from the starts,
I make no effort.
1071
00:58:25,239 --> 00:58:27,912
- I know it's not gonna work out.
- You can't do that.
1072
00:58:28,242 --> 00:58:30,039
You can't live trying to avoid pain...
1073
00:58:30,327 --> 00:58:32,045
...at the expense...
- Those are words.
1074
00:58:32,288 --> 00:58:33,687
I've gotta get away from you.
1075
00:58:33,956 --> 00:58:35,992
- Stop the car, I wanna get out.
- No, don't...
1076
00:58:36,292 --> 00:58:38,089
- Keep talking.
- It's being around you.
1077
00:58:38,335 --> 00:58:40,610
Don't touch me, you know.
I want to get on a cab.
1078
00:58:43,424 --> 00:58:45,733
No, don't. No, no, keep going.
1079
00:58:46,010 --> 00:58:49,446
Listen, I'm just so happy...
Thank you, just keep going.
1080
00:58:49,763 --> 00:58:51,401
All right.
1081
00:58:52,808 --> 00:58:56,403
Look, I'm just so happy,
all right, to be with you.
1082
00:58:56,729 --> 00:58:59,960
I am. I'm so glad you didn't
forget about me, okay?
1083
00:59:00,274 --> 00:59:02,868
No, I didn't.
And it pisses me off, okay?
1084
00:59:03,194 --> 00:59:06,709
You come here to Paris,
all romantic, and married.
1085
00:59:07,031 --> 00:59:08,430
Okay? Screw you.
1086
00:59:09,325 --> 00:59:11,600
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not trying to get you.
1087
00:59:11,869 --> 00:59:14,224
I mean, all I need is a married man.
1088
00:59:14,955 --> 00:59:18,152
There's been so much water under
the bridge, it's not even about you.
1089
00:59:18,459 --> 00:59:20,814
It's about that moment in time
that's forever gone.
1090
00:59:21,128 --> 00:59:23,926
You say that, but you didn't
even remember having sex, so...
1091
00:59:24,215 --> 00:59:26,968
Of course I remembered.
1092
00:59:28,219 --> 00:59:30,528
- You did?
- Yes.
1093
00:59:30,805 --> 00:59:34,036
- Women pretend things like that.
- They do?
1094
00:59:34,391 --> 00:59:38,179
What was I supposed to say?
That I remember the wine in the park...
1095
00:59:38,521 --> 00:59:41,877
...and us looking up at the stars fading
away as the sun came up?
1096
00:59:42,191 --> 00:59:45,422
We had sex twice, you idiot!
1097
00:59:46,946 --> 00:59:50,575
All right, you know what,
I'm just happy to see you.
1098
00:59:50,950 --> 00:59:54,226
Even if you've become an angry,
manic-depressive activist...
1099
00:59:54,537 --> 00:59:57,893
...I still like you,
I still enjoy being around you.
1100
00:59:58,707 --> 01:00:02,905
And I feel the same. I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened, I just...
1101
01:00:03,254 --> 01:00:05,609
- I had to let it all out.
- Don't worry about it.
1102
01:00:05,881 --> 01:00:08,395
I'm so miserable in my love life,
in my relationship.
1103
01:00:08,676 --> 01:00:11,713
I always act as...
Like, you know, I'm detached.
1104
01:00:12,012 --> 01:00:15,049
But I'm dying inside.
I'm dying because I'm so numb.
1105
01:00:15,349 --> 01:00:18,944
I don't feel pain or excitement,
I'm not even bitter, I'm just...
1106
01:00:19,270 --> 01:00:21,830
You think you're the one
dying inside?
1107
01:00:22,106 --> 01:00:26,145
My life is 24/7 bad.
1108
01:00:26,485 --> 01:00:27,759
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
1109
01:00:27,987 --> 01:00:30,785
I mean, the only happiness I get
is when I'm out with my son.
1110
01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,665
I've been to marriage counseling...
1111
01:00:32,908 --> 01:00:35,422
...I've done things I never thought
I would have to do.
1112
01:00:35,703 --> 01:00:38,536
I've lit candles,
bought self-help books, lingerie.
1113
01:00:38,831 --> 01:00:41,106
- Did the candles help?
- Hell, no.
1114
01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:43,764
I don't love her the way
she needs to be loved...
1115
01:00:44,044 --> 01:00:48,322
...and I don't even see a future for us,
but then I look at my little boy...
1116
01:00:48,674 --> 01:00:51,905
...sitting across from me,
and I think I'd suffer any torture...
1117
01:00:52,219 --> 01:00:54,494
...to be with him for
all the minutes of his life.
1118
01:00:54,763 --> 01:00:56,560
I don't want to miss out on one.
1119
01:00:56,807 --> 01:01:00,959
But then, there's no joy or laughter
in my home, you know?
1120
01:01:01,312 --> 01:01:04,861
- I don't want him growing up in that.
- No laughter? That's terrible.
1121
01:01:05,191 --> 01:01:07,022
My parents have been
together 35 years...
1122
01:01:07,276 --> 01:01:09,506
...and even when they fight
they end up laughing.
1123
01:01:09,778 --> 01:01:13,407
I don't want to be one of those people
who are getting divorced at 52...
1124
01:01:13,741 --> 01:01:17,973
...and falling down into tears, admitting
they never really loved their spouse...
1125
01:01:18,329 --> 01:01:23,164
...and they feel their life has been
sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
1126
01:01:23,584 --> 01:01:27,020
You know, I want a great life.
I want her to have a great life...
1127
01:01:27,379 --> 01:01:29,449
...she deserves that.
1128
01:01:29,757 --> 01:01:32,954
But we're just living in the pretense
of a marriage, responsibility...
1129
01:01:33,260 --> 01:01:37,094
...you know, all these ideas
of how people are supposed to live.
1130
01:01:38,974 --> 01:01:42,683
But then I... I have these dreams...
1131
01:01:44,355 --> 01:01:45,674
What dreams?
1132
01:01:45,898 --> 01:01:49,254
I have these dreams,
you know, that...
1133
01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:51,771
...I'm standing on a platform...
1134
01:01:53,155 --> 01:01:56,147
...and you keep going by on a train...
1135
01:01:56,450 --> 01:02:00,682
...and you go by, and you go by,
and you go by, you go by.
1136
01:02:01,038 --> 01:02:02,835
And I wake up with
the fucking sweats.
1137
01:02:03,082 --> 01:02:05,277
And then I have this other dream...
1138
01:02:05,584 --> 01:02:09,259
...where you're pregnant in bed
beside me naked...
1139
01:02:09,630 --> 01:02:13,259
...and I want so badly to touch you, but
you tell me not to and you look away.
1140
01:02:13,592 --> 01:02:17,904
And I... And I touch you anyway...
1141
01:02:18,264 --> 01:02:22,542
...right on your ankle, and your skin is
so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right?
1142
01:02:23,477 --> 01:02:26,787
My wife is there looking at me,
and I feel I'm a million miles from her.
1143
01:02:27,106 --> 01:02:30,985
And I know that there's
something wrong, that I...
1144
01:02:31,318 --> 01:02:33,229
God, that I can't keep living like this...
1145
01:02:33,487 --> 01:02:35,921
...that there's gotta be more to love
than commitment.
1146
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,913
But then I think that
I might have given up...
1147
01:02:39,201 --> 01:02:41,032
...on the whole idea of romantic love.
1148
01:02:41,287 --> 01:02:44,438
That I might have put it
to bed that...
1149
01:02:44,748 --> 01:02:47,387
That day when you weren't there.
1150
01:02:47,668 --> 01:02:50,307
You know, I think I might
have done that.
1151
01:02:51,672 --> 01:02:53,788
Why are you telling me all this?
1152
01:02:54,758 --> 01:02:58,797
I'm sorry. I don't know.
I'm... I should...
1153
01:03:00,139 --> 01:03:02,016
I shouldn't have.
1154
01:03:02,266 --> 01:03:03,779
You know, it's so weird.
1155
01:03:04,018 --> 01:03:07,897
People think they are the only one
going through tough times.
1156
01:03:08,272 --> 01:03:12,390
I mean, when I read the article,
I thought your life was perfect.
1157
01:03:12,860 --> 01:03:16,614
A wife, a kid, published author.
1158
01:03:17,406 --> 01:03:20,637
But your personal life
is more of a mess than mine.
1159
01:03:20,951 --> 01:03:23,181
I'm sorry.
1160
01:03:23,454 --> 01:03:26,446
Well, I'm glad it's good for something.
1161
01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:32,410
- This is where you live?
- Yeah.
1162
01:03:33,464 --> 01:03:37,457
So you're just relieved that I'm
in even more deep shit than you are?
1163
01:03:37,802 --> 01:03:39,599
Yes, you've made me feel better.
1164
01:03:39,845 --> 01:03:41,915
Oh, good, I'm glad.
1165
01:03:42,181 --> 01:03:44,536
No, I really wish you the best.
1166
01:03:44,809 --> 01:03:48,324
It's not because I'm incapable of having
a good relationship or a family...
1167
01:03:48,646 --> 01:03:50,682
...that I wish everyone to be
doomed like me.
1168
01:03:50,940 --> 01:03:53,215
I'm sure you'd make... Be
a great mom someday.
1169
01:03:53,484 --> 01:03:54,917
- Really? You think so?
- Yeah...
1170
01:03:55,152 --> 01:03:58,144
...a few antidepressants, you know,
you'll do great.
1171
01:03:59,073 --> 01:04:01,792
- Okay, say stop.
- Stop.
1172
01:04:02,368 --> 01:04:04,962
- Okay.
- You ready? Okay.
1173
01:04:15,214 --> 01:04:19,253
- So I want to try something.
- What?
1174
01:04:21,887 --> 01:04:26,039
I want to see if you stay together
or if you dissolve into molecules.
1175
01:04:27,268 --> 01:04:29,145
How am I doing?
1176
01:04:29,395 --> 01:04:31,226
Still here.
1177
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,550
Good. I like being here.
1178
01:04:37,528 --> 01:04:39,041
Is this your apartment?
1179
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,918
No, I live down there.
1180
01:04:41,157 --> 01:04:43,307
- Down there?
- Yeah.
1181
01:04:43,576 --> 01:04:45,965
Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her
to her door.
1182
01:04:55,129 --> 01:04:56,403
This is incredible.
1183
01:04:56,630 --> 01:04:59,224
- This is where you live?
- Yeah.
1184
01:04:59,508 --> 01:05:02,580
- How long have you been here?
- Four years.
1185
01:05:04,263 --> 01:05:06,333
- So tell me...
- What?
1186
01:05:06,599 --> 01:05:08,191
Is it all true about your dreams...
1187
01:05:08,434 --> 01:05:11,073
...or did you say that to hopefully
get in my pants?
1188
01:05:11,353 --> 01:05:12,866
I said that to get in your pants.
1189
01:05:13,105 --> 01:05:15,494
- I use that all the time.
- Oh, okay. Does it work?
1190
01:05:15,816 --> 01:05:18,569
You know. Sometimes.
1191
01:05:19,862 --> 01:05:23,218
Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute.
Look at him.
1192
01:05:23,532 --> 01:05:25,284
You know what I love
about this cat?
1193
01:05:25,534 --> 01:05:27,729
Every morning I bring him
to the courtyard...
1194
01:05:28,037 --> 01:05:32,553
...and every single morning he looks
at everything like it was the first time.
1195
01:05:32,917 --> 01:05:36,830
Every corner, every tree, every plant.
1196
01:05:37,171 --> 01:05:39,526
Smells everything
with his little cute nose.
1197
01:05:39,799 --> 01:05:43,712
Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty.
1198
01:05:45,137 --> 01:05:46,934
- What's his name?
- Che.
1199
01:05:47,681 --> 01:05:49,478
Che?
1200
01:05:51,227 --> 01:05:53,536
- What?
- Commie.
1201
01:05:55,105 --> 01:05:57,983
No, "che" in Argentina means "hey. "
1202
01:05:58,275 --> 01:06:00,584
- Okay.
- Yes.
1203
01:06:00,861 --> 01:06:04,456
Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
1204
01:06:07,952 --> 01:06:11,627
We're having a little party.
It's so much fun.
1205
01:06:21,966 --> 01:06:23,718
- So...
- So.
1206
01:06:39,984 --> 01:06:44,262
You know what? I was thinking,
would you play me one of your songs?
1207
01:06:44,613 --> 01:06:46,683
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- I won't.
1208
01:06:46,949 --> 01:06:49,747
I'm gonna be in the airport for
over an hour, reading...
1209
01:06:50,035 --> 01:06:52,833
...wishing you'd played me
one of your songs.
1210
01:06:53,164 --> 01:06:55,280
One song? Okay, but quickly.
1211
01:06:55,541 --> 01:06:57,259
Okay.
1212
01:07:02,673 --> 01:07:05,745
God, I love these old staircases.
1213
01:07:44,173 --> 01:07:46,368
- Hold this.
- What, for me?
1214
01:07:46,634 --> 01:07:48,590
Hey there, buddy.
1215
01:07:49,762 --> 01:07:51,753
Che.
1216
01:08:03,317 --> 01:08:06,946
- Would you like some tea?
- Yeah, sure.
1217
01:08:07,613 --> 01:08:09,171
Wow.
1218
01:08:10,241 --> 01:08:13,597
- Is chamomile okay?
- Yeah. Great.
1219
01:08:13,911 --> 01:08:16,061
- Merci.
- Messy?
1220
01:08:16,330 --> 01:08:19,925
- You think my apartment is messy?
- No, no. Merci.
1221
01:08:20,251 --> 01:08:23,641
- Merci beaucoup.
- Ah, merci.
1222
01:08:23,963 --> 01:08:27,558
I meant to tell you,
your French has improved a lot.
1223
01:08:27,883 --> 01:08:29,157
- Really?
- Yeah.
1224
01:08:29,385 --> 01:08:31,853
Yeah, you've really
mastered the language.
1225
01:08:32,763 --> 01:08:35,755
All right, all right, what song
are you gonna play me?
1226
01:08:38,102 --> 01:08:40,900
No, I can't. It's too embarrassing.
It's been...
1227
01:08:41,188 --> 01:08:44,737
Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here,
you cannot crap out on me now.
1228
01:08:45,067 --> 01:08:47,023
One song. Anything will be great.
1229
01:08:47,319 --> 01:08:49,037
But listen, you're gonna laugh at me.
1230
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:50,713
- You think so?
- Yes.
1231
01:08:50,990 --> 01:08:52,901
I doubt it.
1232
01:08:55,744 --> 01:08:57,097
Okay.
1233
01:08:57,329 --> 01:08:59,604
What do you want to hear? I have...
1234
01:08:59,874 --> 01:09:02,104
I have three songs in English.
1235
01:09:02,376 --> 01:09:03,695
One's about my cat...
1236
01:09:03,919 --> 01:09:07,832
...one's about my ex-boyfriend...
Well, ex-ex-boyfriend...
1237
01:09:08,174 --> 01:09:10,563
...and there's one about...
1238
01:09:11,051 --> 01:09:14,282
Well, it's just a little waltz.
1239
01:09:14,597 --> 01:09:16,633
A waltz? Yeah.
1240
01:09:16,932 --> 01:09:18,968
- Play the waltz.
- Right.
1241
01:09:19,268 --> 01:09:21,577
I haven't played it in a while.
You sure?
1242
01:09:25,024 --> 01:09:26,503
Okay.
1243
01:09:27,318 --> 01:09:29,513
All right, the waltz.
1244
01:09:41,832 --> 01:09:46,144
Let me sing you a waltz
1245
01:09:46,504 --> 01:09:51,055
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
1246
01:09:51,425 --> 01:09:55,782
Let me sing you a waltz
1247
01:09:56,138 --> 01:09:59,847
About this one-night stand
1248
01:10:01,101 --> 01:10:06,573
You were, for me, that night
1249
01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:12,659
Everything I always dreamt of in life
1250
01:10:13,072 --> 01:10:16,462
But now you're gone
1251
01:10:16,784 --> 01:10:20,857
You are far-gone
1252
01:10:22,039 --> 01:10:26,510
All the way to your island of rain
1253
01:10:26,877 --> 01:10:32,509
It was, for you, just a one-night thing
1254
01:10:32,925 --> 01:10:35,758
But you were much more to me
1255
01:10:36,095 --> 01:10:38,689
Just so you know
1256
01:10:39,849 --> 01:10:42,727
I don't care what they say
1257
01:10:43,018 --> 01:10:47,773
I know what you meant
For me that day
1258
01:10:48,149 --> 01:10:52,779
I just want another try
1259
01:10:53,154 --> 01:10:57,944
I just want another night
1260
01:10:59,410 --> 01:11:05,121
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
1261
01:11:05,583 --> 01:11:09,417
You meant, for me, much more
1262
01:11:09,753 --> 01:11:13,905
Than anyone I've met before
1263
01:11:14,258 --> 01:11:20,333
One single night with you, little Jesse
1264
01:11:20,764 --> 01:11:25,679
Is worth a thousand with anybody
1265
01:11:26,937 --> 01:11:30,168
I have no bitterness, my sweet
1266
01:11:30,649 --> 01:11:35,518
I'll never forget this one-night thing
1267
01:11:35,905 --> 01:11:41,775
Even tomorrow, in other arms
1268
01:11:42,203 --> 01:11:47,994
My heart will stay yours until I die
1269
01:11:52,421 --> 01:11:57,017
Let me sing you a waltz
1270
01:11:57,384 --> 01:12:02,219
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
1271
01:12:02,598 --> 01:12:07,353
Let me sing you a waltz
1272
01:12:07,728 --> 01:12:12,722
About this lovely one-night stand
1273
01:12:30,042 --> 01:12:33,512
- No, one more! Please, please.
- No! It was our deal.
1274
01:12:33,879 --> 01:12:36,234
One... One song. No, no, no.
1275
01:12:36,549 --> 01:12:38,983
You can have your tea and then...
1276
01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:46,790
- All right, let me ask you one question.
- What?
1277
01:12:47,059 --> 01:12:50,210
Do you just plug that name in
for every guy that comes up here?
1278
01:12:50,938 --> 01:12:52,212
Yes, of course.
1279
01:12:52,439 --> 01:12:56,352
What do you think, that I wrote
the song about you? Are you nuts?
1280
01:13:00,906 --> 01:13:03,181
Is this you? Little cross-eyed Celine?
1281
01:13:03,450 --> 01:13:05,918
- Yes. That's funny.
- Cute.
1282
01:13:07,413 --> 01:13:10,689
- Is that your grandmother?
- Yeah.
1283
01:13:12,585 --> 01:13:14,576
Oh, wow.
1284
01:13:15,045 --> 01:13:18,003
- You want some honey?
- Yeah, sure.
1285
01:14:07,807 --> 01:14:10,037
Did you ever see Nina Simone
in concert?
1286
01:14:10,309 --> 01:14:12,743
No, I never did.
I can't believe she's gone.
1287
01:14:13,187 --> 01:14:14,620
I know, it's so sad.
1288
01:14:15,815 --> 01:14:17,214
Thanks.
1289
01:14:17,441 --> 01:14:19,352
It's hot.
1290
01:14:21,529 --> 01:14:24,248
I saw her twice in concert.
1291
01:14:24,990 --> 01:14:27,185
She was so great.
1292
01:14:27,493 --> 01:14:30,371
That's one of my favorite songs of hers.
1293
01:14:46,345 --> 01:14:47,619
She was so great.
1294
01:14:49,598 --> 01:14:51,793
She was so funny in concert too.
1295
01:14:52,059 --> 01:14:56,052
She would... She would be
right in the middle of a song and then...
1296
01:14:56,397 --> 01:14:58,194
...you know, stop...
1297
01:14:58,440 --> 01:15:02,353
...and walk from the piano all the way
to the edge of the stage.
1298
01:15:02,695 --> 01:15:04,925
Like, really slowly.
1299
01:15:07,992 --> 01:15:11,143
And she'd start talking to someone
in the audience.
1300
01:15:11,454 --> 01:15:14,685
"Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah.
1301
01:15:15,583 --> 01:15:17,733
I love you too. "
1302
01:15:18,252 --> 01:15:22,530
And then she'd walk back.
Take her time, no hurry, you know.
1303
01:15:22,882 --> 01:15:26,238
She had that big, cute ass.
1304
01:15:26,552 --> 01:15:28,031
She would move.
1305
01:15:29,805 --> 01:15:34,435
And then she would go back to the piano
and play some more, you know.
1306
01:15:36,145 --> 01:15:37,737
And then she would, I don't know...
1307
01:15:37,980 --> 01:15:40,369
...just start another song
in the middle of another.
1308
01:15:40,649 --> 01:15:44,278
You know, like,
stop again, and be like:
1309
01:15:44,612 --> 01:15:48,446
"You over there,
can you move that fan.
1310
01:15:49,533 --> 01:15:51,569
You're cute.
1311
01:16:12,681 --> 01:16:14,592
Oh, yeah. "
1312
01:16:18,229 --> 01:16:22,347
Baby, you are gonna miss that plane.
1313
01:16:23,818 --> 01:16:25,649
I know.