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Hello and welcome to QI.
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Tonight we are up to our usual
tricks and will be treating you
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to a show all about
tricks and treats.
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And joining me are four
absolute sweeties.
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A proper Smartie -
it's Ria Lina.
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Getting their Snickers in a twist,
it's Eshaan Akbar.
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Giving us all a Boost,
it's Jimmy Carr.
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And always coming up
smelling of Roses,
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it's Alan Davies.
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And their buzzers
are four tasty treats.
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Ria goes...
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# Sweets for my sweet,
sugar for my honey...#
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Eshaan goes...
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# Just a spoonful of sugar
helps the medicine go down...#
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Not if you're diabetic.
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Which I am.
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Oh, are you?
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I'm pre-diabetic.
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Is there a post-diabetic?
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Jimmy goes...
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# Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
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# And I feel like I'm loving you. #
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And Alan goes...
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# Sweet Caroline
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# Ba ba ba
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# Good times never seemed so good
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# So good, so good. #
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Let's just do karaoke.
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All right. So I suppose the first
question today has to be,
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trick or treat?
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Jimmy?A treat, please.
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You want a treat?
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Treat. Treat.
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Trick. Trick.
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Trick. Trick.
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OK, you two can have the chocolate
cake that's just beside you.
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Oh, what?
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This is going very well.
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Has this show got dumbed down a bit?
Because I remember the questions
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being a lot more difficult
the last time I was on.
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Do you guys want
a bit of cake, though?
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Oh, is there? Fine?
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But what I would have liked
to have given you
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is German chocolate cake.
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Oh, no. Do you not like German...
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I don't like German chocolate cake.
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OK, why don't you like it?
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Well, hang on. Let's be clear.
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Do we mean chocolate cake
from Germany
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or German chocolate cake?
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See, already you are going
to probably get an extra point
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because my question is,
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where does German
chocolate cake come from?
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Greggs.
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I know the answer to this.
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Well, there's a cake in America
called German chocolate cake.
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And it's from a man called German,
not from Germany.
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Exactly right.
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You get an extra point,
that is entirely correct.
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I don't know if you've seen
the show before.
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We could be out of here
in 20 minutes.
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This is going to be terrific.
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You were supposed to say
Black Forest.
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So there was a guy called
Samuel German, and he developed
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a product in 1852 of baking
chocolate that was already
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a little bit sweeter.
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So you had to put one less
ingredient in your cake.
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And this was developed into a thing
called German chocolate cake,
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and it became hugely successful.
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The thing about Samuel German
is that he was an English American,
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so English, but German, I mean,
a bit like the royal family.
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Funny name to have, isn't it?
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The Germans are coming round.
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Oh!
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German chocolate cake sounds
like the kind of thing you would not
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put into Google at work.
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That could be something
really dreadful.
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We couldn't have a German chocolate
cake on the show in case one person
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in the audience had a nut allergy.
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I always thought a nut allergy
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was a very good euphemism
for lesbian.
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What's Sandi like?
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You know, she's got a nut allergy.
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Can I just say as a hetero woman,
you don't have to be a lesbian
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to have a nut allergy.
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I feel we're dividing into
niche tribes straight away.
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Germans are coming around -
that's a euphemism for something.
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But here is something
very, very British.
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Anybody know what this is?
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{\an8}Is it a dragonfly with an erection?
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Wow...
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You know, I hadn't seen that, and
now that's all I can see.Right?!
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Actually... That's it.
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Festival Hall. Festival Hall.
Festival of Britain.
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So it was the Festival of Britain
and it was called the Skylon.
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It was the centrepiece of
the Festival of Britain.
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It was 90 metres high...Whoa. Wow.
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..and it was kept erect
through tension.
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I'm sure everybody's been there.Oh.
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It was the largest object in
the world supported by wires,
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and what's really a shame is that
they didn't keep it because it was
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a remarkable construction, but
it was pulled down a year later.
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They were going to take it to
Scarborough, Morecambe,
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even the United States,
but it was too expensive.
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They sold it to a scrap metal
dealer in White City,
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probably right near
where we are now.
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Wood Lane, White City -
George Cohen and Sons.
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Were people meant to climb up this
thing? What was the point of it?
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What was the point?
It's right at the end, mate.
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It's quite a hazard to skydivers
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because I imagine
you can't see it at all...
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Coming down, "Look at that view of
the Thames..."
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MIMES RIPPING FABRIC
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There was a student who wanted
to climb up it and hang a pair
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of knickers...Of course. ..at the
top, at the official opening.
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He's called Philip Gordon.
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He was a student at the
University of London's Air Squadron.
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He shimmied up at midnight, dressed
as a workman, and his plan was
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to jump into the river to escape.
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I'm just going to say "90 metres"
again to everybody...Wow.
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Anyway, bless his heart, he slightly
bottled it and hung a scarf
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instead of a pair of knickers,
because the King was coming.
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But he did get up there.
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No, he got there...He got up there.
..he couldn't bear to do pants.
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Or they were dirty
because he bottled it.
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Yeah. He got to the top and soiled
himself, that's what we've learned.
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But hang on - the plan to get down
was initially to jump,
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and then he thought,
"Do you know what?" Yeah...
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"I'm just going to shimmy."
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That's a good name for you -
Shimmy Carr. I like that.
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Give us a shimmy.Yeah! Yeah!
There we go.
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Lots of people didn't like it.
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The Sydney Morning Herald
called it "phallic flippancy".
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I don't think if your phallus
looks like that,
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you can afford to be flippant.
No...
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Wonder if they'd be bothered
by reviews, would they?
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I mean, who's looking at that,
going, "Oh, well,
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"it wasn't well reviewed,
I'll look over here"? Yeah.
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Some of it was used for rearmament
in the Korean War,
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and some of it was made into
commemorative letter openers.
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Oh, I feel bad for the guy
that ended up in the Korean War
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with the letter opener. Yeah...!
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It's an example of something
called "tensegrity".
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Tension and integrity.
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It's a word coined by the architect,
Richard Buckmunster...
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Buckmis... Sorry.
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Richard Buckminster Fuller...
Well said.
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I try not to get my Buckminster
and my Fuller confused...
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You nearly said "buttmuncher"
there. and you... Yeah, I know!
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Now, for a question about
TREAT-ments.
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It's time for a round of
What's The Treatment, Sandi?
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OK! What do we think the treatment
is to stop snoring?
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Wake up.
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APPLAUSE
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I just read a book about this! Oh!
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A whole book about snoring?
Yeah, well, it's called Breathe.
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It's quite a good book,
and it's about how we developed,
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and basically, the whole book says,
you've got to breathe
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through your nose, so put a bit
of tape over your mouth,
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stop your snoring. Oh...
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Why did you read a whole book
about breathing...?
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Well, I thought... "You know what?
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"Some people stop breathing
and then..." Yeah.
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So you go... I want to get...
This is the basics. Yeah.
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You want to nail this stuff. Good.
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I've been breathing the whole show.
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It is to do with breathing.
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Divorce is not the answer.
Divorce is one way of doing it.
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But you might want to stop your own
snoring and train yourself not to.
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ALAN:Oh, I do...
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Well, I snore a little bit
and my girlfriend's got...
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She's got noise-cancelling fists.
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But you're in the right area, Jimmy,
because what we really need to do
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is train the muscles of the
upper airways to do what's called
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circular breathing. OK.
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So you need to inhale through
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the nose whilst blowing through...
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Is that right?
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It's that breathing in through
the nose, out through the mouth,
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in through the nose
and out through the mouth
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in a continuous circular movement.
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The best way is to
take up an instrument.
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Which instrument might it be?
I think trombone, isn't it?
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Nope. Anybody, any thoughts?
Bagpipes. Xylophone.
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Flute. Xyl...?!
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Didgeridoo! Harmonica! Didgeridoo!
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Oh... It's the didgeridoo. Well
done, Alan.Got to get a big...
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Yes.
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APPLAUSE
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And there I am with my didgeridoo!
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So, 2006, a group of scientists
in Zurich decided,
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"Let's stop snoring by trying to get
people to play the didgeridoo."
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So what they did was they got a
group of snorers and they made them
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practise the didge, made them
practise every day for four months,
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and then they had a
control group who were told
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they were on the waiting list
for lessons, OK?
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And they were told to do anything
except play the didgeridoo.
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And those who played the
didgeridoo, that does seem to work
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to help your snoring because it
creates this circular breathing.
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Wow. Mm-hm!
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Anyway, moving on,
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what is this fly
doing in this painting?
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Oh, the one by the plate?
There's also one on her head.
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Oh, yes. Talking to the one by
the plate? Yeah.
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"Come up here." "The food's HERE -
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"the food's down here!"
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"You can see for miles up here!"
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"They'll swat you!"
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"They won't... She won't swat
herself in the head, will she?"
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It's called musca depicta -
so "musca", Latin for "fly",
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and it was to show
how skilful the artist is.
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It's a way of saying, "I can
paint a fly that is so realistic,
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"an observer might just
want to kind of..."
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Well, clearly not, because that's
the world's biggest fly.
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So when you see the painting,
you think, "There's a fly on it."
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Yeah... Exactly."Oh!"
"Oh, oh!""God...!"
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"It's painted on?!"
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At the time it was painted, that was
thought to be quite a thing,
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so it was a fairly new idea,
the concept of "trompe-l'oeil",
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or "trick of the eye".
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That people go in trying
to eat the beans.
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That - exactly that.
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"It's a painting! Oh, my God!"
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The very supposed first-ever use of
the trompe-l'oeil
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was a painting competition in
ancient Greece between the artists
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Zeuxis and Parrhasius.
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And Zeuxis painted
some realistic grapes
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that, apparently, the birds
flew down and tried to take.
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And so, Parrhasius then painted
a curtain that was so realistic
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that Zeuxis himself was fooled
and tried to push it to one side.
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Do you think ALL of these stories
from ancient Greece
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are just nonsense?
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Yes, let's not do that any more...
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I can't believe...
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This is so exciting to me.
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"Yes, rip it up! Rip it up!" Yes!
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"It's nonsense..."
It's all nonsense.
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00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:11,990
"..the bird flew down to the
grapes... It did not! It's 2D!
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"The bird could've identified that,
it's not seeing grapes..."
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"The curtains! They're
real curtains. Bullshit!
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00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:21,110
"The curtains are painted!"
242
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:24,310
And the Greeks they just spread it
about, you know, "That happened,"
243
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:27,110
and we... Thousands of years, we're
still going, "Amazing, you know,
244
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:28,790
"in ancient Greece..."
245
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,510
The single...How've they
convinced us of this utter non...?!
246
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:33,030
I don't know!
247
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:36,750
A single torn card, I've got rid of
the whole of Greek mythology.
248
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:40,830
Get out. Move that, Alan.
249
00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,150
So that... That is amazing.
250
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:45,190
That was painted in 1658.
251
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,950
That actually does look like a
curtain. Isn't that incredible?
252
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:50,790
In fairness, that is good though,
ain't it?
253
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:53,230
I mean, if the Greeks saw that,
they'd shit themselves.
254
00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,670
Oh, you don't... You missed it,
though. You missed it,
255
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,110
because a bird just flew in, Alan.
256
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:02,150
The flowers are terrible,
the curtain's unbelievable.
257
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,590
Deliberately so,
obviously deliberately so.
258
00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:06,630
It makes the curtain look
more like a curtain
259
00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:08,310
if the flowers are shit. Can I...?
260
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:12,030
Sorry, just two seconds,
can I have some sellotape?
261
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,350
Have you...?
262
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:17,790
So, this was painted by a man,
wasn't it?
263
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:21,110
This was painted by
Adriaen van der Spelt in 1650.
264
00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:23,270
Cos... Why is it?
Why? Because it's not ironed.
265
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:27,150
No, that's a fair point.
266
00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:29,230
I don't know a lot about him,
Adriaen van der Spelt,
267
00:13:29,270 --> 00:13:31,190
I just know that he had
a nasty third wife
268
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,710
who drove him to his grave.
That's literally all I've got.
269
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,670
What, literally gave him a lift?
Yeah.
270
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,750
"Don't worry, you'll be there in a
minute.""Where are we going? Agh!"
271
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,910
Cos all she wanted him to do
was iron the curtains
272
00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:44,390
and he kept painting them!
273
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,270
Anyway, moving on...
274
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:51,510
What trickery was this boat
involved in?
275
00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:53,870
Is it a boat meant to be...look
like something else?
276
00:13:53,910 --> 00:13:56,030
You are absolutely heading
in the right direction.
277
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,630
So this is a
casemate ironclad boat.
278
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,670
And this is something
that fought in the Civil War...
279
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:02,310
Civil War. American Civil War!
280
00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:04,950
American Civil War!1860s. 1862.
This particular picture.
281
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:07,470
You get an extra point, Alan.
This is rather frightening...
282
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:09,630
HE GASPS,
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
283
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:14,590
Little bit of good news for you -
I read a book about the Civil War.
284
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:16,990
What did you learn?
285
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,630
The fact that I learned I found
interesting was that the youngest
286
00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:23,430
you could be, legally, to be a
soldier in the Civil War was nine.
287
00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:26,190
Wow.Because eight-year-old
soldiers, that's crazy.
288
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,470
Ridiculous.
289
00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:30,110
The other thing I learnt about,
that I thought was interesting,
290
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:32,150
was the biggest killer
in the American Civil War?
291
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:33,950
Diarrhoea. Yeah.
AUDIENCE GROANS
292
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,390
Imagine being shot with that!
293
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,070
But that is true.
294
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,670
That is true, darling, in
most of the old conflicts.
295
00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:44,110
So the Boer War - typhoid.
It's those things... It's...
296
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,510
It's your illnesses,
your stomach-related illnesses
297
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:49,190
that that kills more, quite often
than...Oh, I know...
298
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,070
Same with panel shows.
299
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,310
Apparently, there was...a code of
honour in the American Civil War
300
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,150
where you couldn't shoot anyone
301
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,150
if they were shitting.
302
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,070
Which I think is quite a nice thing,
which is...
303
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,630
I would've spent the whole of
the Civil War going, "Hang on!"
304
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,470
Have you got that
the right way round?
305
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:08,070
"You can't shit if you're shootin',
306
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,990
"you can't shoot if you're
shittin'... It's one of those!"
307
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,950
APPLAUSE
308
00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:16,030
So a lot of the battles
that took place
309
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:19,190
between the Confederates in the
South and the Unionists in the North
310
00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:21,430
took place on the Mississippi River.
311
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:25,230
And these boats, these casement
ironclads, were brand-new,
312
00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:26,990
they were like
a sort of moving fort.
313
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:29,190
And this boat belonged
to the Unionists,
314
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:31,670
but they had to, for various
reasons, they had to abandon it,
315
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:34,110
and the Confederates
tried to salvage it.
316
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:37,830
So in order to stop them
salvaging it, the Unionists built
317
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,190
a completely fake boat.
318
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:43,830
It was made out of timber
and tar and...and a toilet!
319
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:45,350
It was called the Black Terror.
320
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:48,870
It flew both the American flag
and the skull and crossbones.
321
00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:51,910
It cost $8.63 to construct.
322
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,670
It's about $208 today...$8?!
323
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,430
$8 to construct!
324
00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:58,670
And they even lit
a sort of tar fire,
325
00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:01,710
so it looked like engine smoke,
and the Confederate salvagers,
326
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:04,510
they destroyed the original gunboat,
the Indianola,
327
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:07,710
because they thought that
the Unionists were coming to get it.
328
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:11,630
And it made the Unionists
cry and cry with laughter.
329
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,110
So they managed to use
an entirely fake boat
330
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:16,710
to get the others to
destroy a very valuable one.
331
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,590
There was a little bit of levity
in the middle of all that slaughter.
332
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,790
There's another
excellent wartime dummy trick.
333
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,190
So in World War I,
a horse was killed
334
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:29,070
in what was called No Man's Land.
335
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:32,310
And somebody thought, "Ooh, I
know, we'll turn it into a lookout."
336
00:16:32,350 --> 00:16:37,070
And under cover of night, French
soldiers made a papier mache version
337
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,110
of the horse, and a soldier
then went in it
338
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,550
and, apparently,
339
00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:43,990
used his anus as a gun port,
340
00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,790
which I think, you know...
341
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,870
That's something I'm definitely
going to Google later on.
342
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,750
This is a gun port.
343
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,310
The horse... It's the horse's anus.
344
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:53,910
Yes, the horse... Yes.Thank God.
345
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,910
Don't always understand everything
first time.
346
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,110
But then it rains and...
347
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:06,310
Is there...? Is this going to be
a follow-up story
348
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:09,070
about the...greatest hero of that
war was, of course,
349
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:10,790
a pantomime horse?
350
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,870
Well, they used papier-mache heads.
I think you've got some.
351
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:17,470
They used to use papier-mache heads
on sticks to put up over the trench.
352
00:17:17,510 --> 00:17:20,230
Oh, hang on, look... Oh, no,
I have got one, yeah. Look at this.
353
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:21,790
RIA:Oh!
ESHAAN:Oh, gosh.
354
00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,590
There wasn't much diversity then,
was there?
355
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:26,830
{\an8}No, no, it's not wild on diversity.
They all...
356
00:17:29,310 --> 00:17:30,390
Ours have found love.
357
00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:51,310
ALAN SINGS:# Yummy, yummy, yummy
I got love in my tummy... #
358
00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:57,710
I'm always hungry after a blowjob.
Yeah...!
359
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:00,350
How dare you!
360
00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:05,550
Right.
361
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:08,670
It's time for another game of
What's The Treatment, Sandi?
362
00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:15,070
OK. How do you stop
your toe from dropping off?
363
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,630
Oh. Stop cutting your toenails
with a Black & Decker?
364
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:23,310
That's quite a good answer.Put them
in the freezer or something?
365
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:25,750
How would that work?Well...
366
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:27,590
IN HIGH PITCH:All right, let me
explain...!
367
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:28,990
MOCKING HIGH PITCH:WHAT?!
368
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,390
Now he's got to think of some logic.
Yeah, I have...!
369
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:34,070
So! You put your f...
370
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,430
..your toes in the freezer
and as it defrosts,
371
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:38,750
just before it completely defrosts,
put it back in again.
372
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,190
Well, why don't you just put
a sock on? Just wear a sock!
373
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,430
Socks can get cold.
374
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,070
What?! What?!
375
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,110
What did you...?
What did you think Sandi asked?
376
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:55,510
There is a condition called
dactylolysis spontanea,
377
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,670
or ainhum,
which is much easier to say,
378
00:18:57,710 --> 00:19:00,470
and it's a very rare condition where
the little toe,
379
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:04,270
normally on both feet,
atrophies and then falls off.
380
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,350
JIMMY GASPS
381
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,110
Well, it actually goes to market.
382
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:10,230
APPLAUSE
383
00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,830
The constrictive ring of tissue
forms at the base of the toe,
384
00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:21,150
and that just restricts oxygen.
385
00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:23,430
It can be caused by injury
or infection, sometimes happens
386
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:25,070
with no clear reason at all,
387
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:28,510
primarily found in males
of African descent.
388
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:33,430
Probably the best thing to do is to
cut it off pre-emptively, amputate.
389
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:35,830
Or just put it in a freezer.
Freezer! What then?
390
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,030
So hang on, hang on.
391
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,190
That is a worse answer than your
answer, I think.
392
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:42,510
The best way to stop your toes
from falling off is to cut them off
393
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:46,590
before they get a chance.
"Don't give 'em the satisfaction!"
394
00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:47,990
Don't give them the satisfaction.
395
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:49,830
You cut off your toes first.
Apparently...
396
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:52,350
If you're watching at home,
get rid of them all!
397
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:55,310
Apparently, with this particular
condition, it is less painful
398
00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:57,350
to amputate it and
you are less likely
399
00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:59,190
to have the wound become infected,
400
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:03,030
so it is better, in this instance,
to cut it off yourself.
401
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,670
Well, I'm looking at the picture,
I think he looks fine. Yeah.
402
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:09,870
Right. I have treated myself to
a new pair...
403
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:11,710
..of glasses, OK?
404
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:14,430
So a little bit like Clark Kent,
I'm going to put them on.
405
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,790
OK. Here is the trick.
As soon as I put them on,
406
00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,270
who do you think I look like now?
407
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:20,710
AUDIENCE MEMBER:Prue Leith.
408
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,150
Prue Leith is a right answer.
409
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:24,990
It's somebody badass.
410
00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:27,430
It's a person who has killed
more baddies on screen
411
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:30,070
than any other actor.
Oh... I'm going...
412
00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:31,670
I'm going John Wayne.
413
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:34,150
It's Milla Jovovich!Oh...
414
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:35,950
Look, do you not think?
RIA:Really?
415
00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:36,950
ESHAAN:Yeah, yeah!
416
00:20:36,990 --> 00:20:38,390
THEY TALK VERY EACH OTHER
417
00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:39,590
Uncanny! Uncanny!
418
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:42,630
She...What are we doing?
419
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,310
What are we doing?
What's going on here?
420
00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:48,630
What's going on? Yeah, OK.
Do you know who she is?Yes.
421
00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:51,590
She's not even wearing glasses.
You know that, right? No, so...
422
00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:57,630
She's the star of The Fifth Element,
as well as the Resident Evil series,
423
00:20:57,670 --> 00:20:59,710
and she has killed a shed load
of people.
424
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:03,790
So this is how you fool
facial recognition, OK?
425
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:07,430
In 2016, the researchers
at Carnegie Mellon University
426
00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:10,870
found that they could trick
facial recognition software into
427
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:14,350
mistaking their identity by using
a pair of colourful glasses. OK?
428
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:18,990
And they were able to have
a middle-aged male researcher
429
00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:21,270
be mistaken by the software
430
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:24,870
as Milla Jovovich, OK? And this is
what the glasses look like...
431
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,710
I think I slept with
the wrong person.
432
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:32,430
If it makes you feel any better,
Jimmy, so do they.
433
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:35,670
APPLAUSE
434
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:41,750
The way facial recognition software
works is it doesn't know
435
00:21:41,790 --> 00:21:44,310
if it's looking for a tiny image
in a great big picture
436
00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:46,830
or it's looking for an image
that's filling the entire picture.
437
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,310
It's looking for little bits of
specifics that then it says,
438
00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:51,590
"Yes, that's that person."
439
00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:54,030
So it looks for a particular
shape of an eyebrow,
440
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:55,990
it looks for a particular shape
of a cheekbone.
441
00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:58,750
It is possible to compress
all of that information
442
00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:02,790
down into a section of
the frame of the glasses.
443
00:22:02,830 --> 00:22:04,910
And what'll happen is
the computer will say,
444
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:06,950
"Oh, I've found the things
I'm looking for."Oh!
445
00:22:06,990 --> 00:22:11,430
It'll ignore, entirely, the face
that is actually wearing the glasses
446
00:22:11,470 --> 00:22:14,670
because it feels it
has already found the person.
447
00:22:14,710 --> 00:22:17,910
You don't have to do that
Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible -
448
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:19,950
where you peel your face off,
any more?
449
00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:23,190
You just put on a ridiculous
pair of glasses and get in anyway?
450
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:26,670
So the spectacles could possibly
trick facial recognition software
451
00:22:26,710 --> 00:22:28,910
into making them think
you're somebody else.
452
00:22:28,950 --> 00:22:31,790
You probably couldn't
open Milla's phone or her laptop,
453
00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:35,070
but you could certainly...
I can definitely open Romesh's.
454
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,830
APPLAUSE
455
00:22:40,390 --> 00:22:43,470
Now for one final round
of What's The Treatment, Sandi?
456
00:22:43,510 --> 00:22:44,910
JAUNTY XYLOPHONE INTRO PLAYS
457
00:22:46,790 --> 00:22:48,030
Love this!
458
00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:50,990
What do you treat by shoving a piece
of cloth up your nose
459
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,230
and setting fire to it?
460
00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:56,910
If you're in certain parts of
the US, that's how you cure Covid.
461
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:00,630
APPLAUSE
462
00:23:01,670 --> 00:23:03,470
It's excessive sleeping.
463
00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:06,230
I mean, I have to say,
it's an attempted cure.Wha...?!
464
00:23:06,270 --> 00:23:07,270
It... I know.Yeah!
465
00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:09,590
Stay awake because you'll be
setting your face on fire!
466
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:12,430
Yeah. Yeah.Yeah! So...
Sleep through this...!
467
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:13,790
Yeah.
468
00:23:13,830 --> 00:23:16,590
So we're going back a bit - 1738.
We're going to France.
469
00:23:16,630 --> 00:23:18,830
There was a woman called
Elizabeth Orion
470
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:21,270
and she started sleeping
18 hours a day
471
00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:23,150
and literally nobody could wake her.
472
00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:25,910
And this went on for years and years
and years until she was finally
473
00:23:25,950 --> 00:23:28,550
examined by a guy called Dr Brady,
and he wanted to check out
474
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:30,030
if she was faking it.
475
00:23:30,070 --> 00:23:32,350
So first he shouted really
loudly at her.
476
00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:35,110
Then he stuck a pin in her flesh,
right through to the bone and so on,
477
00:23:35,150 --> 00:23:38,350
and finally, he took a piece of
cloth and he dipped it in alcohol,
478
00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:40,390
set fire to it,
and shoved it up her nose.
479
00:23:40,430 --> 00:23:43,470
She slept through the whole thing
480
00:23:43,510 --> 00:23:46,590
and then eventually woke up
completely naturally...
481
00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:49,670
I love this - "ate heartily
and did some spinning."
482
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,750
Was her nose or face not singed?
483
00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,030
Well, I don't really know
484
00:23:54,070 --> 00:23:56,030
because the villagers had done
all sorts of things.
485
00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:58,550
They had, at one point,
rubbed her back in honey
486
00:23:58,590 --> 00:24:01,510
and laid her in front of a beehive
on a hot day.
487
00:24:03,550 --> 00:24:05,190
I mean, really?!
488
00:24:05,230 --> 00:24:07,590
Was there a fraternity?
Yeah, why...?!
489
00:24:07,630 --> 00:24:09,510
They just hated her sleeping.
490
00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:11,470
And I don't know
what the outcome was.
491
00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:13,230
I love these old cures, though.
492
00:24:13,270 --> 00:24:16,350
There was a 13th century
physician called Bernard de Gordon,
493
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:19,990
and his recommendation for jolting
somebody out of a coma
494
00:24:20,030 --> 00:24:22,670
was to hold a squealing pig in
their face.
495
00:24:24,310 --> 00:24:26,150
I mean, you could be tempted,
couldn't you?
496
00:24:26,190 --> 00:24:29,030
I could see it happening.If that
works, brilliant, you're a genius.
497
00:24:29,070 --> 00:24:31,750
If not, you're a doctor with a pig,
going home. Yeah! Perfect.
498
00:24:31,790 --> 00:24:34,630
"I didn't manage to wake her, love,
but we're having bacon tomorrow."
499
00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:37,590
Yeah. "Lend me a pig."
"Wake up and smell the bacon!" Yeah.
500
00:24:37,630 --> 00:24:39,070
CHEERING
501
00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:41,870
Let's now treat ourselves
to a round of General Ignorance.
502
00:24:41,910 --> 00:24:43,350
Fingers on buzzers, please.
503
00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:44,990
Which has most body fat -
504
00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:48,790
a human, a pig, a cow, a walrus
or an elephant?
505
00:24:48,830 --> 00:24:51,030
Depends who you're talking about,
really.
506
00:24:51,070 --> 00:24:52,910
Walrus. Oh...
507
00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:53,910
KLAXON BLARES
508
00:24:56,110 --> 00:24:58,190
Are we talking about as a percentage
509
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,030
or actual quantity of fat?
So, proportional to size, OK,
510
00:25:01,070 --> 00:25:03,910
it is the percentage
of body fat content.
511
00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:07,230
A human? It is a human.
It is absolutely a human.
512
00:25:07,270 --> 00:25:10,750
Most humans have higher body
fat than an elephant.
513
00:25:10,790 --> 00:25:12,390
Well, I want to retract that forfeit
514
00:25:12,430 --> 00:25:14,590
because the question
wasn't properly worded.
515
00:25:14,630 --> 00:25:16,270
APPLAUSE
516
00:25:16,310 --> 00:25:17,950
Worth a try!
517
00:25:22,190 --> 00:25:23,710
I've had a terrible day.
518
00:25:25,030 --> 00:25:27,670
If you're a professional athlete,
it's different. If you're...
519
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:29,670
What's he called, Ronaldo?
Ronaldo. Yeah.
520
00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:32,070
Hungry, hungry Ronaldo,
he's called. Yes.
521
00:25:32,110 --> 00:25:35,150
But he's very lean.
He's about 7% body fat, so...
522
00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:37,190
He's always in a cryo chamber. Yeah.
523
00:25:37,230 --> 00:25:41,030
Freezing! He's got all his toes.
Yeah.It works! Yeah, it works!
524
00:25:41,070 --> 00:25:44,030
Inflammation cannot exist
at those temperatures.
525
00:25:44,070 --> 00:25:45,710
That's what I was told. Oh...
526
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,110
OK, erm...
527
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,750
I read a book about it! Yeah!
528
00:25:51,790 --> 00:25:54,950
What they were examining was
low fertility in captive elephants,
529
00:25:54,990 --> 00:25:57,110
and they thought it might be
something to do with diet
530
00:25:57,150 --> 00:25:59,310
and an obesity issue,
but it isn't that.
531
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:01,870
The animals are perfectly lean.
Actually, it's stress.
532
00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:05,230
But humans are sometimes known as
the fat primate, so our...
533
00:26:05,270 --> 00:26:07,070
Who's calling us that?
534
00:26:08,230 --> 00:26:10,630
That's one of us!
That's one of our own, Sandi.
535
00:26:11,910 --> 00:26:14,150
That's got to...
That's definitely not any of them.
536
00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:16,830
The cow didn't say that about us!
I won't have it.
537
00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:18,390
One of us has turned on us.
538
00:26:20,070 --> 00:26:23,310
I think it's the bonobos - that's
our nearest relative, the bonobos.
539
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:26,110
The bonobos? "Here they come,
the fat primate." Yeah...
540
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:31,310
"Have a...banana,
you fat so-and-so."
541
00:26:31,350 --> 00:26:33,230
What about blue whales?
What do you reckon?
542
00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:35,070
There's barely an ounce
of fat on them.
543
00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:37,230
They're lean and trim
like Usain Bolt.
544
00:26:37,270 --> 00:26:40,190
No, they are fatter than us,
way fatter. They're...
545
00:26:40,230 --> 00:26:42,390
They're hugely fat. Very, very fat.
546
00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:47,070
They could fill the dome
of St Paul's Cathedral
547
00:26:47,110 --> 00:26:49,950
with the fat of a single whale bleu.
This is one of those facts
548
00:26:49,990 --> 00:26:52,350
where you just go, this is weird,
but it's quite interesting
549
00:26:52,390 --> 00:26:55,990
anyway - if you took all the fat in
a sort of larger blue whale,
550
00:26:56,030 --> 00:26:58,670
it would weigh too much to be
legally transported
551
00:26:58,710 --> 00:26:59,950
on British roads.
552
00:27:01,710 --> 00:27:04,110
Which is one of the reasons I don't
do it any more. Yeah.
553
00:27:04,150 --> 00:27:07,270
It turns out humans are a lot
fatter than most other animals.
554
00:27:07,310 --> 00:27:09,790
More than 150 years ago,
which American holiday
555
00:27:09,830 --> 00:27:12,230
had people dressed in scary masks,
556
00:27:12,270 --> 00:27:15,910
giving candy to children and pulling
pranks on unsuspecting passers?
557
00:27:15,950 --> 00:27:17,110
Halloween.
558
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,310
KLAXON BLARES
559
00:27:22,230 --> 00:27:24,790
It is now, but it used to be
Thanksgiving Masking
560
00:27:24,830 --> 00:27:27,510
and it comes from much older
traditions which come from Europe.
561
00:27:27,550 --> 00:27:29,950
"Mumming", you every heard about
mumming?
562
00:27:29,990 --> 00:27:31,670
Which is basically going
door to door..
563
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:34,310
That's an internet search
I don't want to tell you about.
564
00:27:34,350 --> 00:27:37,630
..asking for food or money
sometimes in exchange for a song.
565
00:27:37,670 --> 00:27:40,110
It's a very, very, very
old tradition.
566
00:27:40,150 --> 00:27:43,630
Called mumming? Mumming?
Yeah, probably named after Momus,
567
00:27:43,670 --> 00:27:46,150
this is back to your Greek
mythology, so probably not true.
568
00:27:46,190 --> 00:27:48,350
Probably a lie...
He was the persona...
569
00:27:48,390 --> 00:27:50,110
They never even had buckets! No...
570
00:27:54,550 --> 00:27:57,590
Which brings us nicely to the end
of our Trick and Treat show.
571
00:27:57,630 --> 00:27:59,790
So let's see who's
got a bucket of candy
572
00:27:59,830 --> 00:28:02,830
and who's going to be
pelted with eggs.
573
00:28:02,870 --> 00:28:06,390
In last place, falling for every
trick in the book with -26,
574
00:28:06,430 --> 00:28:08,110
it's Alan!Oh...
575
00:28:08,150 --> 00:28:10,350
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
576
00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:11,430
So rude!
577
00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:15,150
In third place with -9, Eshaan!
578
00:28:15,190 --> 00:28:16,390
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
579
00:28:19,110 --> 00:28:21,950
In second place with a very
creditable plus three points,
580
00:28:21,990 --> 00:28:24,790
it's Jimmy.Look at that! Three!
581
00:28:24,830 --> 00:28:26,630
Three! Count 'em! Count 'em.
582
00:28:27,670 --> 00:28:30,270
One for every book I've read.
583
00:28:30,310 --> 00:28:32,350
And our winner, never missed
a trick,
584
00:28:32,390 --> 00:28:35,110
it's Milla Jovovich...!
No, it's Ria!
585
00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:46,310
And our thanks to Ria, Jimmy,
Eshaan and Alan
586
00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:49,550
and I leave you with this trick
to live by from WC Fields.
587
00:28:49,590 --> 00:28:52,990
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey
in case of snakebite,
588
00:28:53,030 --> 00:28:54,470
"and furthermore,
589
00:28:54,510 --> 00:28:56,230
"always carry a small snake."
590
00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:58,070
Thank you. Goodnight.