1 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,680 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,760 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 3 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,120 Hello and welcome to QI 4 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,920 where tonight we'll be taking a walking tour 5 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,480 of the weird and the wonderful. 6 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:41,040 Let me welcome, weirdly, the washable Melanie Bracewell. 7 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,080 APPLAUSE 8 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,440 The windproof Roisin Conaty. 9 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,880 APPLAUSE 10 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,680 The well-oiled Patrick Kielty. 11 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,320 APPLAUSE 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,920 And our own Mr Whippy, Alan Davies. 13 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,440 Their buzzers are wonderful. 15 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,000 Melanie goes... 16 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,200 Roisin goes... 17 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,560 Patrick goes... 18 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,640 And Alan goes... 19 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,240 I love that. 20 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,760 Right now that we've all warmed up, 21 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,680 for question one, let's have a jolly good wink. 22 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,960 OK, so my question is, how does that make you feel if I wink at you? 23 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,280 I felt many things inside when you winked at me, Sandi. 24 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,760 OK. I was mainly thinking 25 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,240 that maybe in uni it wasn't a phase, but, um... 26 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,280 LAUGHTER 27 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,000 No, no, straight away, two points. That's absolutely fine. 28 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,920 Yeah. It depends how long the wink lasts. 29 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,440 A quick wink and you think, "Oh, I'm enjoying that." 30 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,200 But a slow, long wink. 31 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,640 Yeah, you're going to get killed. 32 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,480 A quick wink just sort of says... 33 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:06,960 It's a sort of like, how you doing? 34 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,280 It's like a kiss on the cheek as opposed to a Frenchie. 35 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,840 It depends who's doing the winking. I mean, 36 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,960 you're winking at me. 37 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,440 Now, that kind of makes me feel 38 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,560 that you might not really be a lesbian. 39 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,120 And... LAUGHTER 40 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,400 OK, I'm doing well on both sides here. 41 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,000 They did a study on this, right. 42 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,560 So, 1999, the researchers approached different strangers, 43 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,760 asked them what time it was, and then thanked them with a wink, 44 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,400 and they interviewed them afterwards. 45 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,480 And strangers usually had positive feelings towards the winker 46 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,000 as long as they were of the opposite sex. 47 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,440 What I liked is, so, 11% thought the researcher fancied them, 48 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,440 6% thought the poor person had something wrong with their eye. 49 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,840 I always think you're getting sort of a bargain at the market. 50 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,760 You just pay full price, but they wink at you 51 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,640 and you feel like I must have got some sort of bargain, some deal. 52 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,400 It just means that it's stolen goods. 53 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,080 LAUGHTER Yes. 54 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,240 But how would that work with the time? 55 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,240 So someone goes, "It's 3:30," 56 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,600 and you think, "They've given me an extra couple of minutes." 57 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,400 LAUGHTER 58 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:11,040 I didn't realise I was quite a good winker... 59 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,760 ..until...and it happens to me quite a lot. 60 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,560 Whenever you walk down the street, there's quite a lot of people 61 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,200 from the other side of the street shouting, "Oi, Kielty... 62 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,360 "..winker!" 63 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,240 I think... I think that's what they're saying. 64 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,280 Yeah. No. Can you show me your wink? 65 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,400 OK. Do you normally wink with the right eye? 66 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,720 The right one is the more... 67 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,400 And then the left one is more... 68 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,200 You are the weakest link. Goodbye. 69 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,400 OK. See, so people have a dominant and non-dominant eye, 70 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,240 and usually you leave the dominant eye open 71 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,080 and you wink with the other eye. 72 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,160 And two thirds of us are right-eye dominant. 73 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,880 So we went with the left. What about you? 74 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,360 I've got very good winking skills. 75 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,880 To scare my sister as a child, 76 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,880 I'd just go like that. 77 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,560 LAUGHTER 78 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,120 Wow! Your other eye doesn't move! 79 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,040 So I can do... With the winking, you do need to scrunch. 80 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,480 Yeah. The wink has to have the scrunch, like of a... 81 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,400 That means you're not getting killed. 82 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,760 That's just... Paddy was... 83 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,320 Paddy was putting in a bit of a nod. And a scrunch. 84 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,600 What if you do one with a back? If you go... 85 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,080 That honestly looks like a stroke. Yeah. Yeah. 86 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,120 LAUGHTER 87 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,800 And having a stroke 88 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,800 and having a wink can sometimes be the same thing. 89 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,240 But your dominant eye and your dominant hand, 90 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,240 they're often linked together. So if you write with your left, 91 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,080 you probably wink with your right. 92 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,280 A tiny proportion of people cannot wink at all. 93 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,800 Is there anybody in the audience who cannot wink? 94 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,000 There's one person there. 95 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,680 What happens when you try? 96 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,800 Look like an idiot. 97 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,520 You look like an idiot. Come and join the panel. 98 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,640 LAUGHTER 99 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,560 So if you can't wink at all, 100 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,920 there may be a problem with your orbicularis oculi muscles. 101 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,080 So that's the bit that helps your eyelids to close. 102 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,520 It doesn't matter in the least. 103 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,680 So that's winking in real life, 104 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,360 but what's the point of the winking emoji? 105 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:05,040 It kind of depends what comes after the winking emoji. 106 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,120 You know, because if it's winking emoji with thumbs up... 107 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,280 Right. ..that's kind of - see you later. 108 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,920 Yeah. I mean, if it's winking emoji with... 109 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,360 ..aubergine emoji after it... LAUGHTER 110 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,400 I was just trying to tell you I was excited 111 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,680 about the moussaka we're going to have later. 112 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,720 LAUGHTER 113 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,880 I think it means it's a joke. 114 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,760 Yeah, it's universally understood, 115 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,160 Latin America, China, as to mean sarcasm. 116 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,080 And apparently it's something young people use 117 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,280 with the older generation because as people become older, 118 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,120 they are less good at detecting sarcasm, 119 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,560 or what's known as decoding non-literal language. 120 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,280 And so it's quite a good idea to go, "I was just kidding." 121 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,840 Do you two, Mel and Roisin, 122 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,640 know what I mean when I talk about mascara face? 123 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,040 Yeah, I know. What is it? 124 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,680 Yeah. You open your mouth. Do you not open your mouth? 125 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,000 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, absolutely. 126 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,800 How many women open their mouths when they apply mascara? 127 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,680 Yeah. It's just a weird thing. 128 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,080 You're just... You're putting on mascara, 129 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,400 your face is perfectly normal, and you suddenly go... 130 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,480 LAUGHTER Like that. 131 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,080 Lots of people do it, nobody's really sure why. 132 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,840 It's possible that the nerves that control our eye 133 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,360 and our jaw muscles are rooted very close together in the brain, 134 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,320 so that when one fires, the other one goes off. 135 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,800 I always felt like it was the shock 136 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,760 of seeing yourself put things in your eyes. 137 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,640 Your mouth goes, "What are you doing?!" 138 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,680 LAUGHTER 139 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,800 Here's a weird thing. Did you know that our anuses wink? 140 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,480 LAUGHTER No-one saw that coming. 141 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,960 If you had told me a few years ago, 142 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,600 "Melanie, you're going to come on QI 143 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,280 "and Sandi Toksvig is going to ask you if your anus winks." 144 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,920 I don't know if I would have believed it. 145 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,640 Is it to denote sarcasm? 146 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,600 LAUGHTER 147 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,960 I'm doing it. Nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. 148 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,080 I've done ten on the bounce. Yes. 149 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,720 It is this making your jaw move, though. 150 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,080 Mascara has appeared on my eyes. 151 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,320 Apparently, when your anal sphincter 152 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,120 is touched, it contracts. 153 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,640 And that is anal winking. 154 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,760 Is anyone else clenching hearing this fact? 155 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,320 LAUGHTER I think I can actually... 156 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,560 There's so many people in this room, 157 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,000 I think I can actually hear anuses winking. 158 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,120 LAUGHTER 159 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,960 Like it's quite... I'm like, "What's that noise?" 160 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,600 Oh, it's everyone trying to wink their anus at the same time. 161 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,000 It's worth paying attention to, 162 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,680 because if you have a weak anal wink, 163 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,920 you can have a spinal injury. 164 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,800 I think if you had a spinal injury, 165 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,280 I don't think you'd be diagnosed by looking at your anus, would it? 166 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,560 I think you'd be going... HE SCREAMS 167 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,400 "I just noticed you're winking there with your arsehole, Mr Davies" 168 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,120 If Alan and I do it at the same time, is it an anal blink? 169 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,680 OK. If you do it at the same time, I'll give you £10. 170 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,440 We're doing it, we're both doing it right now. 171 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,440 We're both doing it right now. 172 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,680 Right, you've got some objects under your desk. 173 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,360 How can they help you survive in the wild? 174 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,000 You've got a pair of trousers. I found a watch. 175 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,440 Patrick, you've got some condoms. 176 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,680 But never mind that, what's his object? 177 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,160 LAUGHTER 178 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,320 This was not on my bingo list for QI. 179 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,760 Sandi, I don't have my condoms. 180 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,600 In my whole life, I've never helped a boy look for condoms. 181 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,640 LAUGHTER 182 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,960 APPLAUSE 183 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,680 See this, darling? 184 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,360 That's a condom. Oh. 185 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,400 LAUGHTER 186 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,240 I was brought up Irish Catholic. 187 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,920 LAUGHTER 188 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,000 Is that a QI branded condom? 189 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,640 I know. Isn't that cute? So exciting. 190 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,240 Am I allowed to open this? Do you want to open it? 191 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,000 Yeah, sure. I was like, you've only got one, 192 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,040 save it! LAUGHTER 193 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,680 That is an impressive one to pull out, 194 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,720 "The QI One." 195 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,200 All of the following tricks, they're in wilderness survival guides, OK? 196 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,920 As we had such a fuss with the condom, 197 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,240 let's start with that. Yes? 198 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,160 How do you think that might be useful? 199 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,520 If you were stuck in the wild? You're on a desert island. 200 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,000 When you say the wild, you mean like a remote forest, 201 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,240 not a night out in Newcastle? No, no. 202 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,840 By yourself, in some remote place 203 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,640 and you find you've got just that condom in your pocket. 204 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,000 How useful would it be? 205 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,600 You could carry water in it. 206 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,560 That is the correct answer. 207 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,640 Wow! 208 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,680 APPLAUSE 209 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,480 That is interesting. That's what I normally do. 210 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,880 LAUGHTER 211 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,000 That sounds like someone who went into the wild, 212 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,360 very optimistic and then went, 213 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,040 "No, no, it's just for water, actually." 214 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,560 Well, darling, you can carry four litres of water. 215 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,840 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my God, he's doing it, OK. 216 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,960 There we go. Yes. So you can carry a lot of water in a condom. 217 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,600 I mean, don't get the lubricated kind. 218 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,320 It's also very good for waterproofing. 219 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,160 You could use it to store tinder or electronics. 220 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,680 Oh, my gosh. Are you going to throw that? 221 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,400 I've got a horrible... I mean, also... 222 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,200 We've a six-year-old and a nine-year-old at home, 223 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,320 so I think we know where this is going, Alan. 224 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,120 Oh, my God, I'm nervous, I'm nervous! 225 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,640 Oh, oh, oh! 226 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,680 APPLAUSE 227 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,000 Oh, it's turning into semen. 228 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,040 LAUGHTER 229 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,640 What else can you do? What else in the wilderness 230 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,200 might you do apart from water? 231 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,760 Is it, um, if you are like, 232 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,680 one of the last people on Earth and you're supposed to... 233 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,200 LAUGHTER 234 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,960 I mean, there's your TikTok, right there. 235 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,320 I don't know why that's... 236 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,600 Sorry, Mel. I'm sorry. Mel. No. 237 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,120 But is it like, if you're one of the last people on Earth 238 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,440 and you need to repopulate, 239 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,040 but the first person you meet is a bit of a munter? 240 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,480 LAUGHTER 241 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,000 No. So they make great firelighters. Oh. 242 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,920 Once set on fire, they should burn for a few minutes. Really? 243 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,080 Hopefully not with friction. 244 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,520 LAUGHTER 245 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,480 Get the water filled one! Get the water filled one! 246 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,320 That's the episode of Cast Away with Tom Hanks we all want to see. 247 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,560 LAUGHTER 248 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,120 Cock's on fire! Cock's on fire! 249 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,920 LAUGHTER 250 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,320 The other thing, of course, 251 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,120 you can use for firelighter in the wilderness is tortilla chips. 252 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,840 They have so much fat in them 253 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,320 that they make very, very good firelighters. 254 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,040 Where do you get them in the wilderness? Well, you got to be... 255 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,040 ..lucky enough to have them about your person. 256 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,280 Take your own Doritos. I think that's right. 257 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,840 Let's move on to your one, Alan, a watch. 258 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,400 What might you do in the wilderness to save yourself with a watch? 259 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,840 Well, obviously, the time's very important. 260 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,880 LAUGHTER 261 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,720 Any thought what you might do if you were lost? 262 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,280 You could use it to direct sunlight... 263 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,600 Yes. ..and burn ants. 264 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,680 LAUGHTER 265 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,960 Ah, light a fire like that. Well, you could. 266 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,520 You'd have to take the convex lens cover off 267 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,720 and use it to direct sunlight to create some fire. 268 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,800 You could. OK. 269 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,800 It has to be an analogue watch and not a digital one. 270 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,480 But the main thing that you can do is use it as a compass. 271 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,000 Oh, can you? Yes. 272 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,800 So, if you point the hour hand at the sun in the northern hemisph... 273 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,040 LAUGHTER That's a shame. 274 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,360 Imagine that's the sun right there, darling, OK? 275 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,800 So you point the hour hand at the sun, 276 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,640 and we are in the Northern Hemisphere. 277 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,920 The point between the hour hand and 12:00 roughly faces south. 278 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,240 In the Southern Hemisphere, it roughly faces north. 279 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,280 Oh, wow. Doesn't that depend what time it is? 280 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,400 LAUGHTER 281 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,840 You can use the metal back 282 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,600 as a reflector to try and attract attention. 283 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,240 I still think my idea is best... 284 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,320 ..using it to tell what time it is. Just to tell what time. 285 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,880 LAUGHTER 286 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,160 Roisin, what have you got? I've got some trousers. 287 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,840 Trying to save your life with a pair of trousers - 288 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,840 how might I do that? Save my life? Mm. 289 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,280 You could make a hammock out of them... Ooh! 290 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,400 ..and then you could be in the trees 291 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,400 while, below you, poisonous snakes and insects were looking up. 292 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,520 "Oh, shit..." 293 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,760 LAUGHTER 294 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,080 "..they've got a trouser hammock." 295 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,160 LAUGHTER 296 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,880 Get the one who knows what the time is! 297 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,800 "Watch out for burning condom arsehole, over there!" 298 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,600 LAUGHTER 299 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,360 "What time are my Doritos turning up?" 300 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,760 LAUGHTER 301 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,440 Imagine that you are on an island. 302 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,360 Say your ship has gone down, 303 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,600 and you want to get to the island in the first place, 304 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,000 the trousers might be very useful. A sail. You make a sail. 305 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,720 Do you inflate it like a life jacket? 306 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,520 That is correct and you get five points. Oh! 307 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,200 Yes, absolutely right. Yes! Perfect! 308 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,120 APPLAUSE 309 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,560 You need to make them wet first of all, right? 310 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:39,640 Then you need to trap the air. 311 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,360 So swing the waist overhead like that. 312 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,320 Is that man alone? 313 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,680 Or is that somebody else's legs round his neck? 314 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,280 I mean, I wouldn't need these 315 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,040 because, I mean, I'd just blow up my condom. 316 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,640 Yeah, there is that. There is that. 317 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,400 Trap air in the trousers by swinging the waist overhead. 318 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,280 Pop your head through the hole of the two trouser legs, 319 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,480 and it should... 320 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,320 Oh, so you've tied up... Have you ever had that where you've got, 321 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,160 like, togs, and then somehow there's been air in it 322 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,920 and you look like you've got massive testicles. 323 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,480 No-one's had that before? Yes, I've had that. 324 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,160 LAUGHTER 325 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,000 2019, it saved a sailor's life. 326 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,200 His boat's boom knocked him off the boat 327 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,280 off the coast of New Zealand, 328 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,280 and he remembered seeing this thing, 329 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,240 and he floated for four hours in his life jacket trousers 330 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,360 until he was rescued. 331 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,000 So it is a thing. 332 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,560 You said about using it for a hammock. 333 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,720 You can tear it apart, of course, for the fabric. 334 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,720 Mainly if you were saving your life on an island, 335 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,360 you might use it as a tourniquet. 336 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,040 Use one of these as a tourniquet, as well, 337 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,240 by the way, so... Yes. 338 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,120 LAUGHTER 339 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,520 I don't know which bit of your body is that small. 340 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,800 LAUGHTER 341 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,600 If you had a nasty cut on your finger. 342 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,080 Oh. 100% wasn't what I was thinking. 343 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,680 Um... 344 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,360 That's so unsettling to just have that left out on the... 345 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,720 Uh. Ah! 346 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,280 It's really creepy, isn't it? 347 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,600 It's a little stress toy, isn't it? 348 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,240 Argh! Argh! ARGH! 349 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,760 I don't know why I'm wincing. 350 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,920 LAUGHTER 351 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,760 Right, Mel, what about your bubble...? "How stressed are you?" 352 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:04,880 Oh, my gosh. 353 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,360 Uh, bubble wrap, bubble wrap. 354 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,720 Oh, it's quite just fun to play with, isn't it? 355 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,360 What would you use it for in the wilderness? 356 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,400 OK, bubble wrap. 357 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,760 Is it, if the condom breaks, you can MacGyver another one? 358 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,440 Um... Wow. 359 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,600 Can you imagine using bubble wrap? 360 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,040 That would be just... 361 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,360 Like, in the actual moment of its use, you just hear, 362 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,560 "Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop!" 363 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,840 Keep you warm. You could wrap up in it. 364 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,120 Is the correct answer. Oh, OK! 365 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,720 APPLAUSE 366 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,840 Yeah. 367 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,840 That's also how they store Alan in between series. 368 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,560 LAUGHTER 369 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,400 So, used to ward off hypothermia - and lots of people do it. 370 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,640 The air ambulance service sometimes wrap patients in bubble wrap 371 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,920 on the way to hospital. 372 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,240 Then they'll be fine if they accidentally drop them. 373 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,000 LAUGHTER Yes, that's a very good point. 374 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,880 Although they have now done scientific studies on this 375 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,760 because I think people presume the trapped air 376 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,560 is going to provide some kind of insulation, 377 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,840 and you might as well put people in a blanket. 378 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,520 Apparently it doesn't make any difference whatsoever, but... 379 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,240 Sorry... That's OK. ..all the people who collect bubble wrap 380 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,880 for the air ambulance. Get them a blanket. 381 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,200 Wrap artists. 382 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,480 GROANS AND SCATTERED LAUGHTER 383 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,920 How dare you! How dare you! APPLAUSE 384 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,000 You're not exactly pulling your weight, you know? 385 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,040 LAUGHTER 386 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,920 If you're heading into the bush, don't forget to bring a condom. 387 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,680 Wow. 388 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,560 I've literally just realised what I said there. 389 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,920 LAUGHTER 390 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:35,440 Right, describe a normal working day for Aimee the Human Fly. 391 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,360 Woke up, took a shit in the marmalade. 392 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,760 LAUGHTER 393 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,920 Ate the shit in the marmalade. 394 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,640 Flew into the window, hurt my head, went to sleep again. 395 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,080 Does she keep sort of hitting against a window, 396 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,240 and then realising it's the glass ceiling? 397 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,400 Is it that? Oh, no, that's very good. That's very good. Right? 398 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,640 APPLAUSE It's political. 399 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,080 Trying to avoid Dave the Human Spider. 400 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,080 LAUGHTER 401 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,440 So, it was a real person. She was a novelty act. 402 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,440 OK, so, there were special shoes invented 403 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,560 that enabled her to walk on the ceiling. Oh! With suckers? 404 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,880 Well, so, at first nobody knew, 405 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,640 and it was a secret as to how it worked - 406 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,640 but she would walk upside down, up to 90ft in the air. 407 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,600 So there she is, ceiling walker Mademoiselle Aimee, 408 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,560 surnamed the Human Fly. 409 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,760 She was from London, 410 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,720 but apparently sold more tickets as an Australian novelty. 411 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,560 Oh, that's so classic - Australian and she's upside down. 412 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,680 There you go. Yeah, OK. 413 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,320 That's exactly right. LAUGHTER 414 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:34,720 Anyway, 1887, she's doing her act and she got stuck to the ceiling 415 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,720 because the suction on her shoes proved too strong. 416 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,200 So how did they get her down? It was a real problem. 417 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,600 She was very high up in the theatre. Fly spray. 418 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,800 LAUGHTER 419 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,920 How long was she up there for? Do we know? 420 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,080 She was up there for several hours, 421 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,640 and they couldn't get a ladder to her. 422 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,440 She had to take her shoe off. She took her shoes off. 423 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,520 I mean, it's so simple. 424 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,320 LAUGHTER 425 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,600 She fell into the safety net. Duh! LAUGHTER 426 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,640 I love that you'd be in the audience going, 427 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,200 "Just take your bloody shoes off!" 428 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,440 But you're right, Mel. 429 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,400 They were known as an Antipodean apparatus 430 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,440 because of the idea that you were upside down. 431 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,400 They were invented by an American mechanical engineer 432 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,240 called Walter Hunt, and he tried to keep it secret - 433 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,200 but, I mean, fundamentally not difficult. 434 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,040 Moistened leather suction cups. 435 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,320 LAUGHTER 436 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,000 Moistened leather suction cups? 437 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,880 Can you say that again, please, for TikTok? 438 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,560 Moistened leather suction cups, yeah. 439 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,040 I feel this whole show... Moistened leather suction cups. 440 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,200 Oh, my gosh! I'll say that, and you play with the condom. 441 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,040 Um... LAUGHTER 442 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,440 Are you ready? "Play with the condom." 443 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,600 Moistened leather suction cups. Whoa! 444 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 445 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,720 This is like pornography for pensioners, isn't it? 446 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,080 Just say "moistened" and they go, "Ooh-hoo!" 447 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,480 That feels like you could make £500 million on OnlyFans 448 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,120 with that clip. Really? 449 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,560 No, I think I've got a good voice for porn. 450 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,000 It's quite kind of... Oh, wow. 451 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,680 And you've got the best hair in the world. 452 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,200 She often says this, Roisin. 453 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,640 Sandi needs to do an advert for her hair. 454 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,680 She needs to tell us how she got it and what she uses. 455 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,680 Isn't it... LAUGHTER 456 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,600 Moistened leather suction cups. 457 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,920 LAUGHTER 458 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,680 Yeah, when you say it, it's just creepy. 459 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,000 LAUGHTER 460 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,000 So, Walter Hunt decided that he would teach people how to do this. 461 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,720 And one of the people who took him up on this offer 462 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,800 was a guy called Richard Sands. 463 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,760 He was an acrobat and a circus owner. 464 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,760 This is him at Drury Lane using the Human Fly shoes. 465 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,800 And then, this is a really sad story. 466 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,000 So, 1861, he was in Massachusetts. 467 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,320 He was at some civic event and somebody said, 468 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,840 "Could you just walk on a regular ceiling?" 469 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,560 So here he is walking on a piece of polished marble, right? 470 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,120 And he went, "Absolutely!" 471 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,600 And the shoes worked perfectly, 472 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,480 but the plaster on the ceiling gave way. 473 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,160 AUDIENCE GASPS Oh! Yeah. 474 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,240 That's a nightmare. That was the end of him, I'm afraid. 475 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,160 He died? Yeah, he did. It killed him, yeah. 476 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,200 Oh, my God! 477 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,800 I thought you meant it was a bad story, 478 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,160 like he was embarrassed on stage. Oh, no! 479 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,240 No. 480 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,600 And then people asked for their money back. Yeah. 481 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,120 And did they sell the moistened leather suction cups? 482 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,720 LAUGHTER 483 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,880 You can't say it enough, can you? "One previous owner." 484 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,880 Plenty of life in these! Hey-hey! 485 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,640 Got to get them off the ceiling first. 486 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,440 LAUGHTER 487 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,960 He's a really interesting guy. I always love this on QI, 488 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,680 is that you go down a rabbit hole, 489 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,240 and then you find something more and more curious. 490 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,360 This guy, Walter Hunt, 491 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,720 the one who invented the shoes for Aimee the Human Fly... 492 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,640 The killer? The killer, yeah. 493 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,840 He also invented all sorts of things. 494 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,120 He invented an ice-breaking boat, a street sweeper, 495 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,800 a pedal-activated coach alarm. 496 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,840 He invented a tightrope that snaps. Yeah. 497 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,320 LAUGHTER 498 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,800 I have here his most successful invention of all time... 499 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,440 ..and it is this. 500 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,280 He is the guy that invented the safety pin. 501 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,200 Wow. Oh, my God. I know. 502 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,440 He also invented a mechanical sewing machine, 503 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,720 but both his wife and daughter were seamstresses and said, 504 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,240 "Please don't put that out there because we'll be put out of work." 505 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,800 And later, sewing machine inventors made millions 506 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,280 and he didn't make any money, 507 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,320 but he'd made one. Oh, no. Yeah. 508 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,960 But, this, we have Walter Hunt to thank. 509 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,120 I just love the fact 510 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:11,040 that he killed someone falling off the ceiling, 511 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,960 so he decided to put the word "safety" 512 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,000 in the next invention he made. LAUGHTER 513 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,080 You'll be fine with this. 514 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,600 I feel like we're making him the villain. 515 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,360 I feel like the real villain is the plasterer. 516 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,000 The plasterer, yeah. Yeah. Would you like to have a go? 517 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,680 I would have a go if it worked. 518 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,320 I don't think I'm that agile. OK. 519 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,520 And also, I've got a massive head. LAUGHTER 520 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,640 Have you? 521 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,640 I think it's bigger than average. Like, hats are a problem. 522 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,920 Well, you could get a moistened leather suction hat. 523 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 524 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,720 I'd pay to see that. 525 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,920 Right, what might you get up to on a Bulgarian pleasure wheel? 526 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,400 Ooh! Oh, my gosh. 527 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,880 What's a Bulgarian pleasure wheel? 528 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,000 Do you wear it or insert it? No. LAUGHTER 529 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,200 So, it used to be another term 530 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:56,480 for those big wheels that you see at the fairground that people ride on. 531 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,360 What's it... Ferris wheel. Yes, that is right. 532 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,360 They were, of course, invented by... Billy Ferris. ..Peter Ferris. 533 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,280 Peter Ferris. Billy's his brother. No. 534 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,240 Billy Ferris? Billy Ferris. No. Dave Ferris. 535 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,320 Micky Ferris. Pam Ferris. Pam Ferris. No. No, no. 536 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,760 KLAXON BLARES 537 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,440 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 538 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,600 Hold on a minute... That's amazing! 539 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,680 ..I think they just klaxoned you, then. 540 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,800 I think that was... I think... LAUGHTER 541 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,520 I'm very upset. I think I just lost. 542 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:22,760 LAUGHTER 543 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,960 You've never been ten points behind ever! 544 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,760 I know. LAUGHTER 545 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,560 This is very upsetting for me. 546 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,520 George Ferris. Oh, Georgie Ferris, yeah. 547 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,440 But, in fact, they've been around for hundreds of years. 548 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,560 And there was a very famous one 549 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,760 in a place called Plovdiv in Bulgaria about 1620, 550 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,000 something like that. 551 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,960 And as a result, until about the 1800s, 552 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,560 they were known as Bulgarian pleasure wheels, 553 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,920 or "Bulgarian ride". 554 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,000 And that was the name for them 555 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,360 in lots of countries around the world. 556 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:48,000 The very first sighting of one in England, 557 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,280 1728 at the Bartholomew Fair in Smithfield, 558 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,000 where it was called the Ups and Downs. 559 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,720 I don't really like 'em. Don't like 'em? Why? 560 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,320 I don't like when you get stuck at the top, 561 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,680 when it's rocking a little bit and you feel like, 562 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,400 "Well, this could go over. Surely this could..." 563 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:03,960 Are we still talking about the Ferris wheel? 564 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,360 LAUGHTER 565 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:07,720 And I think it's a lot. 566 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,720 To call it a pleasure wheel, 567 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:10,960 I think you need to be getting, like, 568 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,640 a massage, a doughnut. Yeah. It's an endurance wheel, I think. 569 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,880 It's an endurance wheel. You're absolutely right, Alan. 570 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,720 You know what we should call a pleasure wheel, 571 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,960 which I think has a harsh name - a lazy Susan. 572 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,040 That's a pleasure wheel. I love a lazy Susan. 573 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,200 Yeah? 574 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,240 Many a meal, I've gone round on one of those. 575 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,040 LAUGHTER 576 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,840 Were you wearing moistened leather suction cups? 577 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 578 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,400 How do you think I stayed on? 579 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,040 LAUGHTER 580 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,640 "Faster! Faster! Faster!" 581 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,600 Clinging on to the soy sauce. 582 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,160 George Ferris built a huge one for the 1893 583 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,560 World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, 584 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,520 but he wasn't even the person to propose it as an idea, 585 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,960 and Ferris later admitted he'd already ridden such 586 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,960 a wheel in Atlantic City - 587 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,200 one that was built by a man called William Somers - 588 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,000 and he called it an observation roundabout. 589 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,240 Why do you think they wanted 590 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,000 a Ferris wheel at the Chicago Exposition? 591 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,600 What else had been built recently that they thought, actually, 592 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,840 let's try and rival that 593 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,760 and show what an amazing engineering feat we can create? 594 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:15,840 Empire State Building? 595 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,200 No, the Empire State Building is a bit later on. 596 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,480 Statue of Liberty? So, we're going French. 597 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,120 Oh, Eiffel Tower. Eiffel Tower - exactly right. 598 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,520 So, what were they saying? 599 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,560 They were saying that, if you went up in the wheel in Chicago, 600 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,720 you could see the Eiffel Tower in Paris? 601 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:28,760 LAUGHTER 602 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,640 Well, they did have all sorts of ideas of creating a tower. 603 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,080 The idea was to create a tower - one of the proposals - 604 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,280 that was nine times as high as the Eiffel Tower, 605 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,520 and that it had rails at the top, right, 606 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,520 that sloped gradually downwards for hundreds of miles 607 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,600 and connected this tall tower to distant cities, 608 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,320 which I just think is a fantastic idea. 609 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,600 It, of course, never happened, but I think it's a wonderful idea. 610 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,880 So the idea that you would... 611 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,120 You'd go up into this tower 612 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,720 and then take some kind of toboggan home, 613 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,240 you know, if you lived in Milwaukee. 614 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,600 Or you could just... You could walk down 615 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,720 with the moistened leather suction cups right now. 616 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,160 There are also people who suggested having cars 617 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,920 connected to a very large tower on rubber bands 618 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,360 that could then shoot out and come back again. 619 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,240 Wow. The Ferris wheel suddenly looking quite... 620 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,200 People were insane. LAUGHTER 621 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,280 I like the London Eye. Do you? 622 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,400 I would think it's the best thing in London, actually. 623 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,280 Do you? Why? It's a really good view. 624 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,560 You can see everything. You said, "I hate Ferris wheels." 625 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,920 Yeah! But you love the London Eye. 626 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,520 But why would it be OK to hate Ferris wheels and love the London Eye? 627 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,600 Brexit. 628 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:34,200 LAUGHTER 629 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,240 It's not a Ferris wheel. Oh. Oh, OK! 630 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,080 Yeah, yeah. It's not a Ferris wheel, it's an observation wheel, OK? 631 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,160 Because the pods are all fixed on the outside of the rim. 632 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,880 On a Ferris wheel, they're fixed into the rim as you go around. 633 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,440 I mean, it's a subtle distinction. 634 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,120 And do you sit with strangers in those little pods? 635 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:50,680 For a romantic moment, you can book out a whole pod, 636 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:51,960 which I have done. 637 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,120 But say you just want to be on your own, 638 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,680 can you pretend you're having a romantic moment? 639 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,360 LAUGHTER 640 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,720 Just get in by yourself. 641 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,120 I took my then four-year-old stepdaughter 642 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,320 for the very first time, 643 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,160 and when we got to the very top, 644 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,640 I said, "Are you enjoying the London Eye?" 645 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,800 And she looked out and she went, "Where's it gone?!" 646 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,480 LAUGHTER 647 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:19,280 OK. 648 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,200 Just before we move on, 649 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:26,560 we've glossed over your buying out a pod for a romantic encounter. 650 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,360 I want to know what happened. 651 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,800 Reader, I married her. Aw! That's so cute. 652 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,800 Did you propose the wheel? No, she proposed to me in the bath. Um... 653 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 654 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,360 Hang on... 655 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:43,680 ..you took a bath on the wheel? I took a bath. 656 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,000 One was built in Earl's Court in 1895, 657 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,200 rather aptly named the Great Wheel. 658 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,760 It was the largest wheel in the world, 659 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,880 the tallest structure in London at the time - 660 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,760 other than, I think, St Paul's Cathedral. 661 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,880 380ft tall. On one occasion, 662 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,960 70 people were stuck in it overnight and they were compensated £5... 663 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,240 Oh, are you OK? 664 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,960 I don't want to be stuck on it overnight! 665 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,120 So, what happened was, 666 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,400 the people who got stuck in it overnight were compensated £5, 667 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,880 which was a HUGE sum of money in 1895. 668 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,920 And so, people rode it even more, hoping it would break. 669 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,920 LAUGHTER 670 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,880 How did they ever wee? Can you open the window? 671 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,560 I'm going to need a wee. I'm up twice a night needing a wee. 672 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,840 You really want to get stuck at the top of the wheel, then, don't you? 673 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,960 You don't want to be at the bottom, like, "Hold it in!" 674 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,840 LAUGHTER 675 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,040 You know the people who live their retirement years on cruise ships 676 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,000 because it's cheaper than living in a flat? Yeah. 677 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,520 Could you get a pod on the London Eye as your retire... 678 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,120 LAUGHTER 679 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,560 Just live in it... Just live in it for the rest of your life, 680 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,800 going round and round. 681 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,520 You've got your bed in there, you've got your TV. 682 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,440 Obviously you've got curtains. 683 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,200 They'd go, "You can't use that one. He lives in that." 684 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,600 LAUGHTER 685 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,240 But maybe, probably if you get struck by lightning, 686 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,800 that would be a shocker, wouldn't it? 687 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:57,960 Could you get me a pint? 688 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,400 LAUGHTER 689 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,280 These are the sort of conversations you can enjoy 690 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,120 if you're trapped with Alan on the London Eye. I know. 691 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,560 LAUGHTER 692 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,040 OK, moving along. 693 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,680 What are these birds trying to achieve? 694 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,720 Anybody know what the bird is? 695 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,360 It's an American wading bird. 696 00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,200 Anybody know? What do you think they're doing? 697 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,360 They're all doing it. 698 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,360 Are they eating or trying to have intercourse? 699 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,840 They're hunting by whirling, is what they do. 700 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,160 It's called a Wilson's phalarope. 701 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,840 Swim round and round on the water in really tight, fast circles, 702 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,240 and what it does, it makes, like, a whirlpool, 703 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,800 and it sucks up insects 704 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,120 and small crustaceans from underneath. 705 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,800 It's so effective that they eat so much, 706 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,160 sometimes they double in size and then can't fly off. 707 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,000 LAUGHTER Aw! 708 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,240 We've all been to that buffet. Yeah. 709 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,680 It's a one-duck lazy Susan. Yeah, absolutely. 710 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,720 They're very unusual amongst birds in that the females 711 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,680 are more aggressive, and more striking, vibrant colours. 712 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,920 And that is because the females are polyandrous. 713 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,320 So they take multiple male partners, 714 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,360 and their role is to compete and to attract multiple males. 715 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,160 They lay up to four clutches of eggs 716 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,560 per breeding season with different fathers, 717 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,200 and they abandon the eggs as soon as they find another male. 718 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,400 Oh, man, I'd love to see that spin-off of Mamma Mia, wouldn't you? 719 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,400 LAUGHTER 720 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,040 They leave the males to look after the eggs 721 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,240 and to incubate the chicks, 722 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,000 and they just go off and find another partner. Oh, my God. 723 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,960 What do the men do? Look after the babies. 724 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,400 That is good stuff. Yeah. LAUGHTER 725 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,360 I'm keen on a Wilson's phalarope. 726 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,320 Geese also whirl. I don't know if you've ever seen this. 727 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,320 This is one of those amazing things. 728 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,920 So, when they're in flight, 729 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,960 they sometimes spin their whole body around 730 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,000 to fly upside down and keep their heads 731 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,360 the right way up. And what it does is, 732 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,280 it causes their altitude to drop really suddenly. 733 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,640 So if you suddenly wanted to duck out of the way of a predator, 734 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:55,000 it is called whiffling. But I love that... I mean, it's clever. Mm. 735 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,840 But alternative B is, stop flapping your wings. 736 00:29:58,840 --> 00:29:59,960 LAUGHTER 737 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,960 Yeah. "Oh, I want to descend. Oh, yeah." 738 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,440 LAUGHTER 739 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,040 But it's interesting, the whole thing about whirling. 740 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,800 So, they did a study of gorillas and chimps and orang-utans and so on 741 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,960 in 2023 at Warwick University. 742 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,360 And they do this a lot, right? 743 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,240 They do it round and round and round. 744 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,760 And what they've now decided is, 745 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,800 they're just wanting to get dizzy... 746 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,880 Oh, my gosh. ..and it's a bit like taking a mind-altering substance. 747 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,320 Oh, wow! Kids do that. Yeah. 748 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,840 My kids would get on the swing 749 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,880 and then twist it and twist it and twist it, and then let go. 750 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,240 Oh, they loved that. 751 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:33,400 Or they'd just go in the living room 752 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,120 and go round and round and round and round and round, 753 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,320 until they fall into the fireplace and crack their heads open. 754 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,000 LAUGHTER 755 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,240 Do you think the monkeys do the same thing 756 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,440 where they spin around 757 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,960 and they get dizzy, and then they text their ex? 758 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,120 Yeah. LAUGHTER 759 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,240 We talked about Bulgarian wheels in the last question. 760 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,600 What was the Dutch whimsy? 761 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,960 Does it involve sticking a finger in a dyke? 762 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,720 LAUGHTER 763 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,840 APPLAUSE 764 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,040 Not... LAUGHTER 765 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,880 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 766 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,400 Phew! 767 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,760 There used to be frost fairs - 768 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,040 certainly they had them in London, 17th to the 19th century, 769 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,760 when the Thames used to freeze over, 770 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,720 and what they would do is, 771 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,800 they would get a boat - or a sledge or something - and tie it to a pole, 772 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,920 and then they would spin it round and round and round. 773 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,480 And it was called a Dutch whimsy. 774 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,240 Oh! Yeah. 775 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,600 It was a popular ice-based activity. 776 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,680 Sometimes you think, 777 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,120 "Oh, kids have got too much time on the internet," 778 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,160 and then you see that and you think, "Yeah, they needed the internet." 779 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,880 Yeah. LAUGHTER 780 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:45,120 Now, what's the most fun you can have with a wok? 781 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,440 LAUGHTER 782 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,960 You can spin in a wok. Yes, kind of. Yeah. 783 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,600 There used to be one in the park. It's like a wok. 784 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,800 You put the kids in it 785 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,440 and then you spin it round and round, and they can't stop it. 786 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,680 LAUGHTER 787 00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,080 Their arms and legs are out, 788 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,800 their bum's in it, and they're going round and round, going, 789 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,200 "Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!" 790 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:05,880 Yeah, it's a bit like that. 791 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,760 OK, so we are heading in the right direction. 792 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,600 I don't know if this is big enough for my bottom, but... 793 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,440 Oh, you can go down a mountain in it. 794 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,360 Yes! Yes! Yes, you can! Wok racing. 795 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,760 Oh, my gosh. Yes! LAUGHTER 796 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,640 It's a winter sport. 797 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,240 That guy looks like he knows that's a bad idea. 798 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:24,640 Look at his expression! 799 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,360 Oh, both of those two died, by the way. 800 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,560 LAUGHTER 801 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:29,760 So it's a proper sport. 802 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,680 There's a world championships and everything. 803 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,120 So, they've got a bit of padding around the edge, 804 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:37,040 but that is basically just a kitchen-quality Chinese wok. 805 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,160 It started as a joke in 2003. 806 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,080 So, the guy on the right is a German comedian called Stefan Raab, 807 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,240 and he was on a game show called Wanna Bet? 808 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,800 And he quipped that he would do this idea. 809 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:52,280 There have been 15 world championships since then. Wow! 810 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,520 The most successful wok racer is the guy on the left. 811 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,000 He's a three-time Olympic gold medallist at the luge 812 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,840 and he's called Georg Hackl. 813 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,600 But he is a phenomenal wok racer. 814 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,080 He's got little woks on his feet. 815 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,920 Look, tiny feet woks. Ladles. They're ladles. They're ladles? Yes. 816 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,320 Aw, amazing! LAUGHTER 817 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,520 Individual racers can reach 60 miles an hour. Wow! 818 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,840 And then they also have a four-person wok sled 819 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,800 where they have four woks in a row connected by wood, 820 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,000 and they get up to 75 miles an hour. 821 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,280 Oh, my gosh! 822 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,600 They do it on a proper luge run. Well, of course. 823 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,840 I mean, obviously you would, wouldn't you? 824 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,520 You wouldn't do it down a high street. 825 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,280 No. LAUGHTER 826 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,600 I think they should do the race, 827 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,760 and at the end, it shouldn't end when they get over the line. 828 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,960 They then have to cook a stir fry on it. 829 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,080 LAUGHTER 830 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,200 So, yes... You sit on a stir fry, 831 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,360 and by the time you get to the bottom, that's cooked. 832 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,520 LAUGHTER 833 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,640 Well, let's get on to the cooking, because we've got the wok here. 834 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,640 Does anybody know what is the best way to toss a wok? 835 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,320 You go down... You go down and then up - down and up. 836 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,960 It's a down-and-up motion. OK. But it's... I don't know... 837 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,000 It's not like that. Not like that. It'll go everywhere. 838 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,960 You've got to go up like that. Up like that! 839 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,840 Right, it's really heavy, can I just say? 840 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,040 So, this is a proper professional one. 841 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,080 So have a go, darling. 842 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,120 Because it is really a heavy thing. 843 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,520 WOK THUDS, MELANIE GASPS 844 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,240 LAUGHTER 845 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,200 Oh, God! My anus just winked! 846 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,120 LAUGHTER Oh, my God! 847 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,360 That was so scary. 848 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,560 Take me to your leader. 849 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,320 It is heavy, though, isn't it? No, it's not heavy, Sandi. 850 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,880 OK. It's not heavy at all. You just go like that. 851 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,400 You go down, then up, and then it goes. 852 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,680 I'm imagining it, veggies going up... OK. 853 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,840 So, the Cantonese, they have a term called "wok hei", 854 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,440 and it means "the breath of the wok". 855 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,720 About 550 Celsius. It's phenomenally hot. 856 00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:47,520 And if you just left it at that high heat, 857 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,040 these incredibly intense temperatures, it would burn. 858 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:51,520 So that's why you toss it. 859 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,280 And you cool it down by sticking your arse 860 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:54,640 in it and going down a snow mountain. 861 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,120 LAUGHTER 862 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,160 Could you use it as a hat? Would that work? 863 00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:59,640 WOK THUDS Oh, fuck. 864 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,280 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 865 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:13,800 I love this. 866 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,960 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 867 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,160 I feel you've been as stupid as you can be... 868 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,440 ..and then something happens...! 869 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,680 It made so much noise! 870 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:26,720 It was such a... 871 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:29,200 It made so much noise! LAUGHTER 872 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,160 I really hit myself... 873 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,560 I really hit myself quite hard with it. 874 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,280 It's deceptive. It's not as deep as you think. 875 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,480 LAUGHTER 876 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,680 I'm going really slowly now! 877 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,960 Oh, this is weird. 878 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,600 When you're in it, it echoes your voice. 879 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,000 It's weird. I think we've answered the question 880 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,960 of the most fun thing to do with a wok - is to give it to Alan. 881 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:02,120 Somebody did a scientific study, the physics of tossing fried rice. 882 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,800 And it's 2.7 times per second 883 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,760 that you're supposed to be doing the tossing. 884 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,080 And two thirds of all professional chefs, 885 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,520 Chinese chefs have chronic shoulder pain. 886 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:13,640 Yeah. 887 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,760 You all right? I think I'll be all right. 888 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,440 I mean, I might get a lump, you know? 889 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,880 LAUGHTER 890 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,640 ALAN SINGS THEME FROM TWILIGHT ZONE 891 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,400 See, you won't remember any of it. 892 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,520 LAUGHTER 893 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,800 APPLAUSE 894 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,840 I'm getting Sky Sports. I'll talk to you later. 895 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,360 You look like a real old-fashioned photographer. 896 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,640 Oh, yes! With the thing... 897 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,440 MELANIE IMITATES CAMERA SHUTTER 898 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,280 Marilyn! Marilyn! This way, Marilyn! 899 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,640 Can I just say, it's all right for you three, 900 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,800 because you go home after this. I stay here with him. Sorry. 901 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,720 LAUGHTER 902 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,200 We live together in the London Eye. 903 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,880 LAUGHTER 904 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,800 APPLAUSE 905 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,120 And now we wade into the whirligig that we call General Ignorance. 906 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,600 Fingers on buzzers, please. What is in this dish? 907 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,200 Seaweed. 908 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,440 KLAXON BLARES 909 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,120 They call it seaweed. It isn't seaweed. 910 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,880 Is it the remains of what was in the wok 911 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,400 after you go down the mountain? 912 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,080 Is it cabbage? Well, kale - a kind of cabbage. Spinach, kale? 913 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,520 Spring greens or kale. 914 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,600 Different types of cabbage cut into thin strands. 915 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,600 It's never seaweed? No, it's never seaweed. 916 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,080 What are you telling me here, Sandi? 917 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,880 LAUGHTER 918 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,680 Why do they call it seaweed? So, it was originally an algae, 919 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,960 specifically called tai tiao, 920 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,320 which is kind of like a seaweed. 921 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:39,400 But in this country, 922 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,160 it is typically kale or spring greens 923 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,440 and salt and sugar and Chinese five spice. 924 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,080 So I could make it? Yes. 925 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,280 So, what are we saying? 926 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,680 Are we saying crispy duck is chicken? 927 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,040 LAUGHTER 928 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,240 All this time? 929 00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:54,520 It seems to be pretty much a British-Chinese invention. 930 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,400 So... I love it. I love it as well. I think it's absolutely fantastic. 931 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,680 The port of Ningbo, 932 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,320 which is on the very eastern part of the Chinese mainland, 933 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,000 there was a dish that was rather similar, 934 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,080 which was peanuts and this algae. 935 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,440 So is the stuff that your sushi is wrapped in seaweed, 936 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,680 or is that something else? 937 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,200 That IS seaweed. Oh, OK. OK, OK. 938 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,280 But there's a lot of stuff 939 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,720 where we eat stuff that we think is very Chinese, and it isn't. 940 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,920 Crispy, aromatic duck with pancakes is another thing. 941 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,120 They don't - they don't have that. 942 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,840 Oh, wow. They have a different menu. 943 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,360 There was a Chinese restaurant that we used to go to a lot. 944 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,960 Downstairs there was karaoke and there were a lot of Chinese people. 945 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,720 And upstairs it was all us eating stuff like that. 946 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:30,440 And I said, "What are they eating down there?" 947 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,800 She goes, "Chinese menu." I said, "What's on it?" 948 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,680 She said, "I don't want to tell you 949 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,400 "because you would never eat here again." 950 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,560 LAUGHTER 951 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,080 It's prepared in a very different way. 952 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,160 The chef, first of all, 953 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,560 hits himself over the head with a wok. 954 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,280 LAUGHTER 955 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,000 Now, the Benin Bronzes are a group 956 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,680 of sculptures found in museums around the world. 957 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,880 Can you name either the modern-day country of origin, 958 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,880 or the material that most of them are made from? 959 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,400 Are they bronze? 960 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,840 KLAXON BLARES 961 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,040 Well, I'm going to give you... Am I going to give you that? 962 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,200 Because you said, "Are they bronze?" 963 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,320 It was a question, was it not? Yes. 964 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,040 I didn't say the word "bronze". You didn't actually say it. 965 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,960 OK. But you said bronze, Sandi. Another five points off you. 966 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,720 Made from brass and not bronze. 967 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,160 But where are they from, Benin bronzes? 968 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,840 I mean, does it really matter? 969 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,800 They were probably stolen and they're here in London. 970 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,000 LAUGHTER 971 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,120 Sorry. Little Irish joke for you there, folks. Sorry. 972 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,200 I think, Paddy, that's a really good answer because they were, 973 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,520 of course, looted by British colonial troops in 1897. 974 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,400 So I'm going to give you five points for that. 975 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,840 APPLAUSE 976 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,320 Is it Nigeria? Yes. 977 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:41,960 So, we've got a distinction here 978 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:46,800 between the Kingdom of Benin and the Republic of Benin. 979 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,360 So there was this kingdom, it starts about 900, 980 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,400 and then goes on to the late 19th century, 981 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,160 when the British bring an end to it. 982 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:59,360 Then the bit of water around that curve is the Bight of Benin, 983 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,960 and then the Republic of Benin was named after the Bight of Benin. 984 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:08,120 But it's about 5,000 artworks made by the Edo people of Nigeria, 985 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,000 mostly in the 15th 16th century. 986 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,440 They're extraordinary, and they ought to be where? 987 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,080 In a museum in London. LAUGHTER 988 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,000 No. Nowadays it's very important that antiquities 989 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,040 are spread throughout the United Kingdom, not just... 990 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,320 LAUGHTER 991 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,000 APPLAUSE 992 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,480 Very London-centric. Thank you. Thank you. 993 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,360 Can I just say, I'm sorry, he's been hit on the head. 994 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,440 Yeah. LAUGHTER 995 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,120 Here's a history question. King Ethelred wasn't... 996 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,720 Someone say it. I'm not saying it. 997 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:38,360 LAUGHTER 998 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,960 Touching himself? 999 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,080 LAUGHTER 1000 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,040 He looks like he's stuck above the top of the wheel, 1001 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,200 and he's just sat there for the night. 1002 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:53,560 That hat is definitely a moistened leather suction cup. 1003 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,200 He's attached to the ceiling. 1004 00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:00,320 That's Alan held with the wok. 1005 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:01,720 Are you wanting "ready"? 1006 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,400 Is that what you're wanting? Yes, I think so. 1007 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,360 KLAXON BLARES 1008 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,120 So, what do we think it means? 1009 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,360 He was known as Ethelred the Unready. 1010 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,600 What does it mean? It has nothing to do with being ready. OK. 1011 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,080 He couldn't read. 1012 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:16,800 No, nothing... He was unREADY. Oh! 1013 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,080 Actually, the wok has made him smarter. 1014 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,960 I will say that. That was a good guess. 1015 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,080 That was good, yeah. He was ill-advised, 1016 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,840 is the thing. That's actually what it means. Ah! 1017 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,840 He wasn't readied. That's what I say when I'm late. 1018 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,920 "I was ill-advised the time!" LAUGHTER 1019 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,000 The word "read" meant "counsel" or "advice". 1020 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,560 So if you were unread, you had no counsel or you had bad advice. 1021 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,760 He ruled England from 978 to 1013, 1022 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,000 and then again from 1014 to 1016. 1023 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,560 From 980, the Danish Vikings... 1024 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,560 I feel I should apologise at this point. 1025 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,960 The Danish Vikings regularly raided the English shores, 1026 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,520 and his first thing to do was, 1027 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,240 he paid the Danes loads of money to stay away, and that didn't work. 1028 00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:57,560 Then he tried massacring Danish settlers 1029 00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:01,080 and then he lost his throne to Denmark's Sweyn Forkbeard. 1030 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,280 Um... 1031 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,920 LAUGHTER 1032 00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:05,760 We thought it was a perfectly sensible name. 1033 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,600 LAUGHTER 1034 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,760 He doesn't look very smart. If you're the king, 1035 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,520 and then someone shows you that as your painting, and you don't go, 1036 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,120 "Are you joking?" Yeah. LAUGHTER 1037 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,400 It's not going to go well on a coin, is it? No. 1038 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,400 So, it was about 150 years after he died 1039 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,880 he was first called "unready". 1040 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,400 But it just means bad advice. "Read" is "advice". 1041 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,880 So, for example, 1042 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,720 Ethelred the Unready translates as Noble Counsel, No Counsel. 1043 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,320 So, the "red" in Alfred has the same root. 1044 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,760 And so, Alfred means "Elf Counsel". 1045 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,520 Another obsolete meaning of the word "unready" is to get naked. 1046 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,960 I'd say I'm unready when I'm naked. Not ready at all. 1047 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,240 I'm unready. "Unready! Come in!" 1048 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:49,440 LAUGHTER 1049 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,960 Whenever I end up naked, I normally say I'm ill-advised. 1050 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,560 LAUGHTER 1051 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,040 Then you turn away with embarrassment and your arse winks. It's very... 1052 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,040 It's awkward. 1053 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,600 All of which brings us to the weird and wonderful matter of the scores. 1054 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,360 Let's take a look. In last place - 1055 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,600 I mean, blinking useless with -21... 1056 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,800 ..he's got no brains left, it's Alan. 1057 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,560 APPLAUSE 1058 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,120 ALAN GROANS 1059 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:14,200 In third place, 1060 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,800 marginally better than a poke in the eye, with two whole points, 1061 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:17,960 Mel! 1062 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,320 APPLAUSE 1063 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,800 And in joint first place - nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more - 1064 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,480 it's Paddy and Roisin! 1065 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,200 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1066 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:37,960 That's it for this edition of QI. 1067 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,880 Thanks to Roisin, Patrick, Mel and Alan. 1068 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,400 And I leave you with this reflection from the writer Jean Kerr. 1069 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,120 "I feel about aeroplanes the way I feel about diets. 1070 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,560 "It seems to me they are wonderful things 1071 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,200 "for other people to go on." 1072 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:52,240 LAUGHTER Goodnight. 1073 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:54,160 APPLAUSE