1 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,320 Hello and welcome to QI, 3 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,520 where tonight we're asking who, what and, most importantly, why, 4 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,480 with a welter of W questions. 5 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,000 What do you say we meet our guests? 6 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,880 What a treat - it's Daliso Chaponda. 7 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,240 What a joy - it's Cariad Lloyd. 9 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,720 What a pleasure - it's Susan Calman. 11 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,360 And what the blazes - it's Alan Davies. 13 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:05,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,800 Why don't we hear their questionable buzzers? 15 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,000 Cariad goes... 16 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,920 Why by Annie Lennox 17 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,680 Daliso goes... 18 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,040 Why Why Why by Shawn Mendes 19 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,240 We should just have a disco. Yeah! 20 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,280 Susan goes... 21 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:28,640 Why Oh Why Oh Why by Gilbert O'Sullivan 22 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,040 And Alan goes... 23 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,880 Because, because, because, because, because I say so! 24 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,320 Right. What questions do toddlers ask the most? 25 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,440 Hmm. Are we nearly there yet? 26 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,800 KLAXON Oh, that's a good one. 27 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,280 This is the issue. What is the issue? 28 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,000 Don't like them. 29 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,440 Questions or children? 30 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,800 Children. Right, OK. 31 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,720 Because they are unrelentingly honest. 32 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,200 Yes. Yes. 33 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,440 They are taller than me. 34 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,200 LAUGHTER 35 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,760 And I have previously been swept up at a museum in a coach party... 36 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,520 ..when they said, "Back to the bus, everyone," 37 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,640 I went, "I'm not... OK, fine." And I got on a bus. Ah. 38 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,560 So, I don't like children but, for some reason, they really like me. 39 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,000 They see you as one of their own, that's why. Yeah. 40 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,960 Alan, stop pressing that! 41 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,520 Are you my real dad? 42 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,120 Isn't it just, they say, "Why?", and then you answer. 43 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,360 Then they say, "Why?" 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,000 And then they keep saying, "Why?", until you collapse 45 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,520 and scream, "Why?" 46 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,200 Yeah, so, we think that is the question 47 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,200 but, in fact, the question that they ask most is, "What?" 48 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,880 What? Yeah. What? 49 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,840 So, that's how they learn about the world. 50 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,600 Most of the time, it's, "What?" 51 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,280 The number of why-style questions, 52 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,280 which is when you want an explanation rather than a fact, 53 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:05,800 it does increase as you get older. 54 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,360 So, it's just about 3% if you're under two 55 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,080 and 43% when you approach four years old 56 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,360 but, even at their peak, they are in the minority, 57 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,920 and parents think that why questions are more common 58 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,080 because, frankly, it's more difficult to answer. 59 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,960 They did a study, the Society for Research in Child Development, 60 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:28,680 in 2017. The average child between two and five asks 107 questions... 61 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:33,560 That's why... 107 questions per hour! Yes. 62 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:39,240 Yeah. Instead of contraception, they just need to put that fact... 63 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,200 ..on little boxes. It's one in every 33 seconds. 64 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:50,000 Would it be possible to get them to submit the questions in advance? 65 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,840 But the study that they did, there was a child called Adam. 66 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:57,000 He asked an average of 198 questions per hour. 67 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,120 And his parents are divorced and doing their best. 68 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,280 It's almost 30% more questions than you get 69 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,280 on a standard episode of University Challenge. 70 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,520 They're harder. 71 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,080 But the numbers plummet the minute they enter the education system. 72 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,400 So, there was a psychologist called Susan Engel, 73 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,040 and she looked at kids in elementary school in America. 74 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,280 They found they asked two to five questions in a two-hour period. 75 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,480 And, as they get older, it seems to get worse. 76 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,120 One child put their hand up and asked in class 77 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,320 if there were any places in the world where no-one made art, 78 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,840 which I think is a really good question. 79 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,440 And the teacher replied, "No questions now, please. 80 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,040 "It's a time for learning." 81 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,800 LAUGHTER 82 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,080 But we thought we'd try a few interesting questions for you. 83 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,240 You can try and answer, if you like, 84 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,360 or you can tell me what you think about the questions. 85 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,440 So, my first question is, have you ever been decapitated? 86 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,000 Yes, yes. I mean, like, not in the Anne Boleyn sense, 87 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,800 but like, you know, metaphor... I've lost my head frequently. 88 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,000 Do you get cross? 89 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,440 I get cross. I think shorter people get cross quicker. 90 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,600 I get very cross very quickly, 91 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640 because people ignore you and they don't see you... 92 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,920 I don't think I've ever been decapitated. Yes. 93 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,280 Do you see what I did there? 94 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,000 "Dear diary, today, Alan ignored me again." 95 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,920 But is there another meaning of decapitated, 96 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,840 apart from having your head cut off? 97 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,760 They did this question on a US quiz show 98 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,800 called the Power Of 10 in 2007, 99 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:23,160 so the contestants predict what answer the public are going to give 100 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,200 to a particular question and, to this question, 101 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,040 "Have you ever been decapitated?", 4% said yes. 102 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,920 It's part of something called the Lizardman's Constant. OK. 103 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,400 There's a psychologist called Scott Alexander Siskind, 104 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,600 and he came up with this idea, 105 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,800 and it's the approximate percentage of responses to a survey 106 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,160 when a person clearly isn't taking it seriously. Oh! 107 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,720 The name came from a 2013 survey 108 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,320 that found that 4% of Americans believe 109 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,960 that lizard men are running the earth. Right. 110 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,360 They might also not know the meaning of "decapitated" 111 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,640 and think it means "drunk" or something. 112 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,040 Oh, yeah, incapacitated. Incapacitated. 113 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,080 Yeah. Yeah. Here's another question. 114 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,800 Are you a narcissist? 115 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,400 Oh, of course. We're comedians. 116 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,880 So, you say yes. What would you say? 117 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,520 And of all the narcissists here, 118 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,400 I am the best narcissist. 119 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,440 LAUGHTER 120 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,760 APPLAUSE 121 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,880 There is a certain something about parading yourself 122 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,800 and hoping that people like you 123 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,920 and laugh at your jokes and think that you're fabulous, 124 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,880 so I think probably yes. 125 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,480 They both say yes. Over here? 126 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,240 Um, let's talk about me a little bit more. 127 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,040 Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. It's difficult. 128 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,080 What do you think about me? 129 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,680 So typically, when they were testing a person for narcissism, 130 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,680 it was a 40-question questionnaire, right? 131 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,720 And it was things like, 132 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,480 "Does the thought of ruling the world frighten you, 133 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,640 "or do you think it would be a better place if you were in charge?" 134 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,960 Yes. Yes. Next question. 135 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,880 But then what happened was, in 2014, 136 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,560 there was a team from Ohio State University 137 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,640 and they realised you could get just the same accuracy of results 138 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,040 by asking a single question, 139 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,560 and the question is, "Are you a narcissist?" 140 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,880 And, actually, narcissists say yes. Oh! 141 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,280 They believe that they are superior and they don't mind saying so. 142 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:15,200 So, they saved 39 questions that they didn't have to answer. 143 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,280 Two points for anybody 144 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,440 who can name the two people in this famous painting. 145 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,800 Narcissus. Narcissus is... 146 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,680 The guy looking at... 147 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,440 Looking in the mirror, yeah. He falls into the water. 148 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,640 Who's the person that...? 149 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,400 That's "Narcissususus's" very free friend. 150 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,960 I'm going to call her Alison. Alison. 151 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,240 She's like, "You're not going to upstage me by falling in that pond. 152 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,480 "I'm going to get one tit out." 153 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,440 Everyone is going to look at me now. 154 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,680 Look at me! 155 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,920 It's good, though. She's got just the one out, 156 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,000 and probably the good one. Yeah. 157 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,080 What do you mean, the good one? There's always... 158 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,120 LAUGHTER 159 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,560 There's one... 160 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,360 Sandi's not a narcissist apart from her boobs, which she's like, 161 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,120 "They're both great." My breasts are perfect. 162 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,840 There's one that's a bit perkier. 163 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,000 That you go, all right. And then there's the one you go, buck up. 164 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,680 Yeah. It's Echo. 165 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,480 Oh, of course! Falls in love with Narcissus. 166 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,160 She was a chatterbox. And she got cursed to always repeat 167 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,840 the end of somebody else's sentence 168 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,200 rather than making her own sentences. 169 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,280 And that's why we get the... 170 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,080 That's where we get the... Concept of the... Concept of the... 171 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,560 It's so lovely to see... It's so lovely to see... 172 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,400 Are you going to do that the whole show? "The whole show". 173 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,680 OK. Another question. Red or green? 174 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,600 Definitely green. I found this out the hard way. 175 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:42,360 OK. So in university, I went to a kissing party. 176 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,440 Right? And when you went into the party, you chose 177 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:51,160 to put around your neck either red, green or orange, right? 178 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,520 And if you chose green, you're open to kissing everybody. 179 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,600 OK. Chose red, you don't want to kiss anyone. 180 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:01,560 And then orange, you're picky. And I at heart was green, 181 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,760 but I thought you want to seem picky. 182 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,880 Oh, OK. So I chose orange 183 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,360 and all the green people were having way more fun. 184 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,800 Traffic light party. We used to do them... Oh, you used to... 185 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:17,040 Used to do them in the old clubs in Glasgow and... 186 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,440 Find myself thinking, oh, wouldn't you catch viruses? Yes! 187 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,800 That's a sign of age. 188 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,200 But the issue is, as I discovered, having also gone 189 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,360 to one of those traffic light parties, 190 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,560 having worn everything green, I was as green as you could possibly get. 191 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,400 Just being green doesn't mean anyone wants to kiss you. 192 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,480 I'm here! 193 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,320 OK, let me tell you. Red or green is an official 194 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,600 state question in New Mexico. 195 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,640 Oh, so the red party or the green party? 196 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,360 No, it's nothing to do with politics. 197 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,520 Oh, chillies! 198 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,360 Refers to your favoured type of chilli sauce. 199 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,640 OK, here's another question. 200 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:57,800 What was the worst thing about the great whiskey fire at Dublin? 201 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,840 Terrible waste of whiskey. Well... 202 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,960 KLAXON BLARES 203 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:07,960 Irish distilleries 204 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,440 did not pay any tax on whiskey until it was about to be sold, 205 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,080 and so they often allowed it to mature 206 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,200 in these duty-free warehouses and the warehouse... 207 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,880 This particular one had 5,000 barrels in it, 208 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,480 which today is like £8 million worth of whiskey. 209 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,360 It went up in smoke on the 18th of June, 1875. 210 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,840 Nobody really knows why. By the early hours, 211 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:28,960 most of the barrels had burst. 212 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,760 There was a sort of burning river of whiskey in the streets. 213 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,960 The flow was two foot wide. It was six inches deep. 214 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,040 I mean, it would look... 215 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,160 I imagine it looked like the flames on a Christmas pudding. 216 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,640 It was extraordinary. And 13 people died, 217 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,800 but none of them were harmed by the fire. 218 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,360 They died? Yes. So they all died of... 219 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,720 Trying to drink hot... Well... 220 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,520 Hot toddies. ..either acute alcohol poisoning 221 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,240 after drinking alcohol straight from the street 222 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,200 or from the filth mixed in with it. 223 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,120 If you drink anything out of a gutter, it's not good, is it? 224 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,880 People came from all over Dublin for this free hot toddy. 225 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,880 Quite right. They used their hats, their boots to scoop it up. 226 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,400 People were, as you say, supping straight from the street. 227 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,800 There's one place, according to one report, 228 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,120 a house burnt down during a wake. 229 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,760 The family saved the body from 230 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,080 the fire, but went right back to the whiskey. 231 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,840 Now, why could they not just put water on it? 232 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,640 Isn't that...with alcohol, you can't...? Isn't it like a chip pan? 233 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,520 You've got to get the wet tea towel. It is, darling. 234 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,520 It's like oil on top of water. It was impossible. 235 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,760 So what they did was they built a dam out of ash and horse manure 236 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,400 to stop them. People carried on drinking. 237 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,840 Horse manure cocktail. Right. Everybody was safely evacuated, 238 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,400 including pigs and horses that ran wild. 239 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,200 One man was arrested for stealing a barrel of whiskey 240 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,200 that had escaped and rolled down the streets. 241 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,280 I like this - he was fined £1 and the barrel 242 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,720 was sent to a nearby hospital to be given to the patients, 243 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,040 some of whom presumably 244 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,360 were already suffering from alcohol poisoning. 245 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,080 Now who washed Hitler's wig? 246 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,120 Ooh. I'm very much hoping that you're going to reveal 247 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,200 that the wig is his moustache. 248 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:09,880 Oh. And he had a wig moustache kind of like a merkin or something. 249 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,240 Coincidentally, 250 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,200 this is genuine - the only other time I've painted myself green. 251 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,840 I did a sketch when I first started out in comedy, 252 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,600 and I was completely naked apart from a merkin. 253 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,280 Let me just explain to anybody who doesn't know... 254 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,240 It's a pubic wig. Can I just say the Victoria and Albert Museum 255 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,640 has a merkin department, and you can ask to see them. 256 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,600 I would be very happy to show you mine. 257 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,640 I retained it, and the sketch was... 258 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,840 I painted myself green and I jumped out of a wardrobe shouting, 259 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,680 "I'm a wee goblin! So... 260 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:46,120 Oh! I remember that sketch! 261 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,000 Yes! I was not looking at the merkin. 262 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,200 Her boobs are just slightly... 263 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,760 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 264 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,360 Genuinely. There's one better than the other. 265 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:08,320 So anyway, I retained the merkin as a beautiful souvenir of... 266 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,080 ..something I shouldn't have done. 267 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:16,360 So... Is it that he had doubles? So we are talking a... 268 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,480 A double. ..a Doppelganger of some kind. 269 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,680 Where might you find such a thing in London, for example? 270 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,880 Oh, at Madame Tussauds. Madame Tussauds. Exactly. Wax museum. 271 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,920 Madame Tussauds was hit by a bomb in 1940. 272 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,520 352 waxwork heads were destroyed, 273 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,040 but Hitler's was just covered in rubble, 274 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:34,360 and his and other surviving heads, including Mussolini's, 275 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:39,400 had a post-bombardment shampoo and were put back on display. 276 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,640 But during the war, did they need a wax version of him? 277 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,680 And did they need to number it? So people would be like, 278 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,680 "125? Who's that? Oh, it's Hitler. It's Hitler." 279 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:51,680 Well, it's been there since 1933, and since it was installed, 280 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,120 people have tried to destroy the wax works, 281 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,320 doused in red paint, 282 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,840 decorated with a sign that said "mass murderer". 283 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,880 By 1936, it had been repaired so many times 284 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,320 that they decided to put the whole thing in a glass case. 285 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,560 And they only took Hitler off display in 2016, 286 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,840 when neo-Nazis started taking selfies. 287 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,760 Oh, God. It was there till 2016? 2016, yeah. 288 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,800 While we are on wax, you've each got a candle. 289 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,560 Can you guess what those candles are meant to smell like? 290 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,400 Ooh. So let's start with you, Alan. What do you think that smells like? 291 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,560 Oh! 292 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,440 Christ on a bike, that's horrendous. 293 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,760 What it is... It's garlicky and acrid, 294 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,200 and I don't know why anybody would want this. 295 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,320 It's supposed to smell of mustard gas. Oh! 296 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,760 Did you just poison Alan for a question?! 297 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,200 It's for people who want to evoke First World War battlefields. Why? 298 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,000 I mean, that really sets a lovely tone for a dinner party. 299 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,040 Come in and sit down. A bit of mustard gas. 300 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,120 Cariad, what is your one? 301 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,600 Is that vinegar? Chips? 302 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,560 It's cheese and onion. Oh. Oh, crisps. Yeah. 303 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,080 Daliso? Mine's actually quite pleasant. I can't place it. 304 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,160 But I know this scent. Is it, like, liquorice or something? 305 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,920 Well, it's petrol. 306 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,320 Oh, give us it here. I like... 307 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,120 LAUGHTER 308 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,760 I like the smell of petrol. 309 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,640 Do you not remember when you were younger, 310 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,320 at the petrol station, rolling down the window 311 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,240 when your mum was filling up the tank and just going... 312 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:21,680 No, here's the thing. 313 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,280 The smell of petrol is - this why one might like it - 314 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,960 it temporarily suppresses the nervous system, 315 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,360 so it gives you a sort of euphoric feeling. 316 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,080 But it's incredibly bad for you because the chemicals 317 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,720 disrupt messaging in the brain, 318 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,800 as well as the ability of the blood to carry oxygen. 319 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,120 But that candle promises the joys 320 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,480 of that forbidden fragrance without brain damage. Oh! 321 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,480 Yeah. I mean, if you did it a lot 322 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,240 when you were younger, like, you'd be fine. 323 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,600 Just sniff your candle, darling. What have you got? 324 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,880 What do you think that is? 325 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,800 What, you don't like it? 326 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,440 That is disgust... Is it vomit? 327 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,800 No, it's not! 328 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960 What is it? Human breast milk. 329 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,000 LAUGHTER 330 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,120 I feel we're on a theme with you. Did you not like it at all? 331 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,320 Which breast did it come from? 332 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,400 Is it...? Sorry, Sandi... Do you know, 333 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,520 of all the things in my life... 334 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:29,800 Of all the questions I've ever had... 335 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,520 I don't want to smell anything after my mustard gas. 336 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,520 What does breast milk smell like? That doesn't smell of breast milk. 337 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,200 I don't think it does either. 338 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,200 I mean... It smells quite sweet. 339 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,320 And breast milk does smell sweet. It actually doesn't smell that bad. 340 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,560 Made by an artist called Tasha Marks. 341 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,080 Can I just say there's no actual breast milk in it? 342 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,640 But she created this smell. 343 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,760 Mixed messages here, Sandi. 344 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,320 She wanted it to smell warm and evocative. 345 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,760 Doesn't smell of vomit. That's a very unusual reaction, Susan. 346 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,000 It smells of vomit. That's a vomit candle. 347 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,360 What happened to you when you were being breast-fed? 348 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,920 It's making me feel very uncomfortable. 349 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,400 Daliso, give her some more petrol, darling. 350 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,440 LAUGHTER 351 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:18,240 Right. Which Wikipedia articles are 100% wrong? 352 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,280 I bet it's their articles on Encyclopaedia Britannica. 353 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,360 There are many problems with Wikipedia, 354 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,120 but the way in which it has been sourced 355 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,240 is that anybody with the time and the technology can input, 356 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,040 and you don't necessarily have to know what you are talking about. 357 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:39,960 So in 2020, it was discovered that nearly half of the articles 358 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,560 on Scots Wikipedia were written 359 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,480 by a North Carolina teenager who didn't speak a word of Scots. 360 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,800 Wow. Yeah. He went by the name AmaryllisGardener, 361 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,520 and between the age of 12 and 19, he created over 20,000 articles. 362 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,640 He made hundreds of thousands of edits. 363 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,720 He essentially took English language articles 364 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,280 and rewrote them with a Scottish accent. 365 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,560 And he then became an administrator and used his power 366 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,720 to undo other people's attempts to correct his work. 367 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:16,960 Wow. Wikipedia articles are now being used to train AI models, 368 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,920 so you might take something which an AI model has told you 369 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,800 and not know that it's come from Wikipedia. 370 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,440 And some of those AI models may have trained on 371 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:28,200 the work by the North Carolina teenager who said that it was Scots. 372 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:33,040 So...so...so...so a teenager from North Carolina 373 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,400 was writing articles on Scots or Scottish? 374 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,680 He was just using English language articles 375 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,840 and rewriting them with what he thought 376 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,080 was a Scottish accent. 377 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,880 So it wasn't like Scots Gaelic or anything. 378 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,440 No, no, not even that. 379 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,120 What a very, very niche thing. Yeah. 380 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,880 Can anybody read the Scots language? 381 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,600 Anybody here? Let's give Susan a go first. Yeah. 382 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,120 Well, it depends what you mean by the Scots language... 383 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,720 Well, it's recognised as one of the three indigenous languages 384 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,680 in Scotland - so Gaelic, English and Scots. Yes. 385 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,760 So I'm going to put a Scots sentence up 386 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,320 from the Scottish Government website on the screen and see 387 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,320 if anybody is a skilled linguist without really knowing it. 388 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,040 In the 2022 census, 389 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,560 that number of people reported that they could speak Scots, 390 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,800 with that number of people reporting 391 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,440 that they could speak, read, write or understand Scots. 392 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,040 There you go. That's fantastic. I love that. 393 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,320 This may be a... Does that count as a... 394 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,120 No, no, this is... No. Don't. 395 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,000 LAUGHTER 396 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,360 "Does that count as a language?" I think it does, Daliso! 397 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,800 I think it does. Burns wrote in Scots. 398 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,640 So Scots is a language used in poetry and music, 399 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,680 and it's still used colloquially by a lot of people in Scotland. 400 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,520 But what I mean is, without ever hearing of this language, 401 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,840 I can understand that. 402 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,880 Well, perhaps you're a greater linguist than you realise. 403 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,160 OK. There is a lot of Wikipedia vandalism. 404 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,920 Willy on Wheels is one of my favourites. 405 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,280 He created thousands of throwaway accounts 406 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,920 so that he could just deface Wikipedia articles, 407 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,480 and his most prolific work was simply adding "on wheels" 408 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:19,240 to the end of any...to the end of any article title, 409 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,040 as well as redirecting the news page to a picture of a willy. 410 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,880 You know what? Genius comes in all forms. 411 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,960 We should respect it when we see it. 412 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,440 Anyway, Wikipedia is the largest collection of knowledge 413 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,840 in humanity's history. 414 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,000 It is 85% by and about white middle-class men. 415 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,320 That is only going to be perpetuated as AI scrapes this data. 416 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,920 But there are some quite funny ones. 417 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,920 The president of FIFA was given an award by South Africa 418 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,040 after the Football World Cup was held there, 419 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,200 but the official website took his name 420 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,120 from the most recent Wikipedia page, which had been vandalised, 421 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,760 and announced that they had given it to Joseph Sepp Bellend Blatter. 422 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,760 LAUGHTER 423 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,120 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 424 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,400 There's an Australian electronic band called 425 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,960 Peking Duck and they were playing in Melbourne in 2015, 426 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,760 and a fan went backstage and said, I'm the lead singer's stepbrother. 427 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,600 And for proof, he showed them the Wikipedia page, 428 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,520 which he had changed two minutes earlier. 429 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:18,560 Wow. Wow. 430 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,600 What's the biggest waste of time you can think of? 431 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,760 Oh, yes. 432 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,200 I think they call it doomscrolling. 433 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,000 Doomscrolling? Yeah. 434 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,080 When you're just on your phone looking at nonsense, scrolling... 435 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,840 I hear about this, but I've never done this in my whole life. 436 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,560 Oh, it's so... You never just found... You've gone. 437 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,560 "Oh, I've been here for six hours." Yes. 438 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,360 No. What are you looking at? Like, literally, 439 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,160 it's these sites like TikTok or Instagram, 440 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,480 where their algorithm has mapped 441 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,760 all the things you're mildly interested in. 442 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,200 So if you like cats and you like comedians, 443 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,280 it will find a cat comedian. Like, literally, 444 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:01,120 it knows you like things you don't even know you like. 445 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,040 And so you just, like, will addictively move 446 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,360 from one useless clip to a next. 447 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,680 OK, so I like Danish things and chainsaws. Is that a thing? 448 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,480 Sandi, now you've said that, the algorithm has heard this. 449 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,080 Danish women chain-sawing giant trees down. 450 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,480 I'm not on Facebook or TikTok or anything. I took everything off. 451 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,320 I've only got two apps left on my phone. 452 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,720 What are the two apps? Um, the only thing... 453 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,520 Left tit, right tit. 454 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,560 LAUGHTER 455 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,000 One's better than the other. One's better than the other. 456 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,600 But I think an app called I Feel A Right Tit is a very... 457 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,280 Meanwhile, what's that woman doing in the desert, Sandi? 458 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,400 Well, this is the thing - that you would not want to be able 459 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,520 to tidy up in a desert. What an incredible waste of time. 460 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,280 There was a guy called William Shanks. 461 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:50,920 He spent 20 years calculating Pi to 707 places. 462 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,200 But he made an error, which meant that all the digits 463 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,240 after 527 were wrong. 464 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,240 And it was not discovered until 62 years after his death. 465 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,960 He died in 1882, having wasted a great deal of his life. 466 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,360 Is it really a waste? Is it really a waste? 467 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,000 When he died, he thought he'd done it right. 468 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000 So he died a happy man. That's the... That's the main thing. 469 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,200 That's the main thing. 470 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,040 Yeah, but he could have done something else. 471 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,840 But, like, nothing is pointless which brings you joy. 472 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,880 OK, so take this story and tell me whether you would have 473 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,800 gone this far. 2022, there was a man 474 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,640 in Uttar Pradesh called Tungnath Chaturvedi, OK? 475 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:33,240 And he had been trying to get 20 rupees back from a train ticket 476 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,080 since 1999, OK? 477 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,960 And he got it... I admire that. It took 23 years. Yeah. 478 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,360 Wow. So what happened was, 479 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,320 he asked for a refund on the spot and he was refused, right? 480 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,200 He went through 100 hearings, and, in the end, 481 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,720 he got his money back and his family were furious. 482 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,320 Said it was an incredible waste of time and money. 483 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,320 He said, "It's not the money that matters. 484 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,640 "This was always about a fight for justice 485 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,760 "and a fight against corruption. So it was worth it." 486 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,200 Yes! Yes! I like that. 487 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,280 This man... 488 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,680 Absolute legend. Yeah. Go for it. 489 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,160 Anyway, he got his money back. 490 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,320 My favourite of the things that you think, 491 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,640 "Wow, that's a waste of time, but good on you..." 492 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,360 1934, Paramount Pictures made an amazing film, 493 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:17,080 which I have seen and they called it It Ain't No Sin, right? 494 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,640 So as a publicity stunt, 495 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,760 what they did was they got a load of parrots in a room 496 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,840 and they continuously played them the name of the movie, right? 497 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,400 Wow. Continuously played them It Ain't No Sin, and the idea was 498 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,800 the birds would learn to say it, and then the studio would send one 499 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,600 to every single reviewer in the land 500 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,240 and the birds would keep saying the name of the movie. 501 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,160 Unfortunately, at the last moment, the movie, which starred Mae West, 502 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,040 had to change its name 503 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,840 because it was regarded as too risque. 504 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,200 So they changed the name to Belle Of The Nineties, 505 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,520 and so they had a load of parrots who could say, 506 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,680 "It ain't no sin! It ain't no sin!" 507 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,920 but it was completely pointless and they didn't send them to anybody. 508 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,720 Oh! Wow. 509 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,560 I know. Don't you love that? 510 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,800 Now, it's time for the second most pointless quiz on television - 511 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,160 General Ignorance. Fingers on buzzers, please. 512 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,520 My first question - do you have common sense? 513 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,640 Why Why Why by Shawn Mendes 514 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,240 Daliso? Naturally. Of course I do. 515 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,880 KLAXON Oh, OK... 516 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,760 I know... This is the first time 517 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,280 I am going to call to question that ringing. 518 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,320 OK, so what do you think is common sense, darling? 519 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,360 Common sense is, like, 520 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,760 acquired...um...logic... 521 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,040 Not... Acquired, like, um... More than logic. 522 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,280 It's just like homespun knowledge. 523 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,840 Right, so you can't really define it, 524 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,240 is that what you're saying? 525 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,680 Ah. I see your point. 526 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,520 Well, I think part of the problem is that we all disagree... 527 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,600 Oh, I see. ..about what common sense is. 528 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,640 So there was a team at the University of Pennsylvania in 2024. 529 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,320 They took a group of over 2,000 people, 530 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,960 and they asked them to look at more than 4,000 statements, 531 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,560 and then people had to rate them - 532 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,360 whether or not they thought they were common sense. 533 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,120 And the idea was that maybe if a large enough cohort of people 534 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,600 could agree on something, 535 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,840 that statement could be called common sense. 536 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,480 Yeah, yeah. It's incredibly personal. So the only things 537 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,120 that people could actually agree on were statements of fact. 538 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,400 So - a triangle has got three sides. 539 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,640 But statements, things like, "Numbers don't lie, 540 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,880 "we should always trust the math, all human beings are created equal," 541 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,440 things like that seemed more divisive. 542 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,840 Those are the things that people would argue about. 543 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,360 And it's interesting - when they try and decide 544 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,920 to program AI systems using human common sense, 545 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,320 we're never going to agree as to exactly what that is. 546 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,320 I mean, a lot of it's passed down. That's the problem. 547 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,160 So, I still always have money in my purse 548 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,040 in case I need to use a phone box. 549 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,320 I mean, good luck with that! 550 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,760 I was at Paddington Station not that long ago, 551 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,200 and there was a young boy who hadn't got his phone, 552 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,200 and I taught him how to use a payphone. 553 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:44,240 Wow. And it was one of the nicest moments of my life. 554 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,720 Are you sure it wasn't a defibrillator? 555 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,200 And I felt great because it felt like all my training as a Brownie, 556 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:57,080 finally, 40 years later, come to fruition. 557 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,800 I bet that uniform still fits. 558 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,160 I still have it, and I still wear it. 559 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,600 Love that. Common... 560 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,480 LAUGHTER 561 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,920 Common sense is less common than common sense suggests. 562 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,640 What would a French person call this? 563 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,120 A chaise longue... Sorry. 564 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,080 Why by Annie Lennox 565 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,360 KLAXON BLARES 566 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:19,280 That was scary. Several things went off at once. Sorry! 567 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,400 What were you going to say? 568 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,320 A lady. 569 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,680 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 570 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,920 So, not a chaise longue. 571 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,200 They used that for a different kind of chair. 572 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,120 A deck chair is a chaise longue. 573 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,440 Is it?! 574 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,680 It is. Yes, absolutely. 575 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,760 The thing that we have here is a meridian. 576 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,160 Meridian? Meridian. 577 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,840 From the Latin for "midday". 578 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,920 She looks really pissed off about it. She wanted a deck chair. 579 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,680 I'm so sorry... A chaise longue is a deck chair?! 580 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,200 It's a deck chair, yeah. 581 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,800 So, what have I got in my house? 582 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,520 Cos I was sold a chaise longue! 583 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,360 Why do we call that a chaise longue? 584 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,560 I mean, that is a long chair. Long chair. 585 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,800 Because the English are just much more straightforward about it. 586 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,720 "Oh, you want to get one of them long chairs..." Long chairs. 587 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,080 "..that you can lie on." "How long do you want it?" 588 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,760 So all that remains is to hand out the medals. 589 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,240 Let's see who gets what. 590 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,480 In last place, with -44, 591 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,720 it's Alan! 592 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,840 Next, with -6, Daliso! 593 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,000 In second place, but who's counting, with -5, Cariad! 594 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,480 And in first place, with the utmost wherewithal, 595 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,360 with three whole points... Come on! 596 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,640 ..Susan. CHEERING 597 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,800 Thank you to Susan, Daliso, Cariad, and, of course, Alan. 598 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,560 And I leave you with this question 599 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,000 from American comedian Rita Rudner. 600 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,480 How come when you mix water and flour together, 601 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,880 you get glue, and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? 602 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,640 Where does the glue go? 603 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:55,960 Goodnight.