1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:04,480 500 grand's a lot of money, Johnny. 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:09,320 It's a lot of money. So before I do the deal, 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:15,080 I need to look you in the eye and ask you, Johnny, is there any reason, any reason at all, 4 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,640 - why I should be nervous about doing this? - Mr Coleman, I assure you... 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,480 No offence, but this is the man I've already done business with. 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,360 This is the man I know I can trust. I need to hear it from him. 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,200 Johnny is there any reason, any reason at all, 8 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,480 why I should not transfer the money? 9 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:52,120 World politics, editorial comment, current affairs, means nothing to you? 10 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,000 - Depends on their odds. - Which race are they in? 11 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,200 I'm going to stick with Blinkered Outlook. 12 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,560 It's a tragedy, it's a bloody tragedy. 13 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,400 My football team, gone under. 14 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,680 I spent half me life down that club! 15 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,360 Butcher Boyland, Chopper Norris, cup of Bov, dog roll... 16 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,560 - Is he still speaking English? - And now it's gone, just like that. 17 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:17,160 Part of your heritage, part of my community, gone forever, 18 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,720 and do you want to know why? 19 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,480 Cos it got infected, didn't it? 20 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:28,400 Infected with the same disease that's going to kill 'em all off soon enough, greed. 21 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,960 I want to tell you a story... 22 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:39,520 about a man who had a dream that ordinary fellas would come together once a week 23 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,840 and worship. 24 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,560 And these gods that we came to adore, they weren't invisible deities 25 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,400 who demanded we fear them or abase ourselves before them. 26 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:53,000 Nah, these gods were just like us. 27 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,560 Hard-working men who came from the same factories we worked in, 28 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,440 who played for the same reasons we watched. For the joy! 29 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:06,800 - Not for the money, not for the fame, not for the loose cars and fast women. - Don't you mean... 30 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,720 Because they loved what they did! 31 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,840 Let me tell you. 32 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,720 In 1862, Ebenezer Cobb Morley had a dream 33 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:22,520 that this beautiful game of ours would be played in every town, every village, every city in the land. 34 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:29,600 And now, 150 years after he formed the Football Association of Great Britain, 35 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,800 that dream lies in tatters, my friends. 36 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,720 Ripped apart by the greed of the players, the managers, the owners 37 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,000 and the ones that corrupt them all... 38 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,520 ..the agents. 39 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,160 Well, I say to you, 40 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,560 we can no longer sit back and watch this dream die forever, 41 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:56,880 watch communities like Railton be ripped apart, because football is my game! 42 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,560 Football is your game, 43 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,080 football is our game 44 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,360 and I want it back! 45 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,560 Yeah, well, 46 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,720 you're supposed to clap and cheer at that bit, you know? 47 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,480 There's lolly in it. Lots of lovely lolly. 48 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,120 Why didn't you say? You should have said something half an hour ago. 49 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,920 [ THEY CHATTER ] 50 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 51 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:20,320 Let me introduce you to Don Coleman. Agent, businessman, cock...roach. 52 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,880 Three months ago he pulled up outside a house in the back streets of Railton. 53 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,280 If you look like a general, 54 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,120 and you walk like a general and you sound like a general, then you are a general. 55 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,400 You want me to wear a general's uniform? 56 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,840 I want you to wear a suit that cost more than my lunch. 57 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,520 Shit! 58 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:49,680 Gino Genovase. Runs Genovase Talent Ltd. Wasn't supposed to be here till tomorrow. 59 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:58,880 Remember, kid, we're like sharks. We stop moving forward, we die. 60 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,760 TYRES SQUEAL 61 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,840 You can't do that! That was... 62 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:14,120 When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. 63 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:19,880 No-one's going to steal this boy from me. This boy is my suite at Sandy Lane, this boy is my new Merc. 64 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:24,280 If anybody asks, he stepped out in front of me. There was nothing I could do. 65 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,920 - But you... - Correct. Get out. 66 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,800 Come on! 67 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,400 Follow my lead. 68 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,120 Step back, step back, step back. 69 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,160 Mr Price, how are you? 70 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,680 Looking really, really good. Do you mind if we come in? Eh? 71 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:48,800 Oh, Mrs Price, you look a million dollars. 72 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,280 You're not Gino. 73 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:57,280 Well, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but Gino Genovase was arrested this morning 74 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,360 on child pornography charges, 75 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,240 so I've taken the liberty of popping over to help you out this little hole. 76 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,320 Now, where's the infant prodigy? 77 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,280 Your son, where's your son? 78 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,160 Oh, right. Asda? 79 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,640 I tell you what, you carry on making the tea and I'll pop up 80 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,840 - and Pete will take you through our draft contract. - But we didn't want to sign today. 81 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,080 And you absolutely shouldn't sign today. 82 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:30,800 It's a huge decision you're making. In fact, I forbid you from signing...today. 83 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,160 So Asda was a Railton lad born and bred. 84 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,400 He came up through their young talent programme and they've been waiting for this day, 85 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,600 when their hard work would pay off, and they could recoup the money 86 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,800 they'd invested in the lad, with his transfer fee to a bigger club. 87 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,640 Cristal champagne, Asda. Imagine that - the best champagne money can buy. 88 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,240 What about lager? 89 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:59,280 Or lager. You like lager, I'll get you lager, the finest lager in the world. On tap! 90 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,360 And cars? A new Porsche every week. Smash it up. 91 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,280 Boom! Get another one. And the girls, Asda. 92 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:09,480 Oh, the girls, what they'll do for you, everything, anything. There'll be roasts every night of the year. 93 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,760 - Chicken or beef? - Mainly pork. - With gravy? 94 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:17,120 Oh, Asda, there'll be lots of gravy, Asda. There'll be gravy for everyone. 95 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,080 All you have to do is pop downstairs, tell your mum and dad 96 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,080 you want to sign our draft contract now. 97 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:30,480 Remind them that City's window is now, and you insist on signing today. 98 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:35,800 So the boy signed, and Railton started to spend the 100 grand they thought they were going to get, 99 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,080 but Coleman had pulled a flanker, hadn't he? 100 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,200 Some legal small print no-one had spotted. 101 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,880 Which meant no transfer fee was due if he left before his 16th birthday. 102 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,920 Asda was 15 years, 11 months and 29 days the day Coleman signed him to City. 103 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,040 - No way. - But why would he do that? What difference does it make 104 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,800 to Coleman whether Railton get their transfer fee? 105 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,920 Because no transfer fee made Price a more attractive buy for City. 106 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:01,080 Which meant Coleman was able to negotiate a bigger weekly wage, which upped his commission. 107 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,320 So Coleman made five grand more and cost Railton 100. 108 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,440 They went into administration a week later. 109 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,720 - Evil. - Isn't it? 110 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,920 - But a perfect mark. - Exactly. 111 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,400 - So how do we get him? - Let's find who he is first, 112 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,200 and then we'll take it from there. 113 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,840 People like to buy. 114 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,560 People love to buy. 115 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,160 Doesn't matter if it's a car, a laptop or a footballer, 116 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,280 people love to buy. 117 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,080 And why do they like to buy? 118 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,800 It's because in this unsure world, 119 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,360 full of ups and downs, ins and outs, comings and goings, 120 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,680 if you sell our product well, 121 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:51,480 it comes gift wrapped in your certainty that this product 122 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,520 will enhance the punter's life! 123 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,280 And let me tell you, gentlemen, 124 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,280 the punter likes that. 125 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,280 Oh, the punter loves it! 126 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,600 It makes him feel all warm and gooey inside 127 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,640 and when he feels all warm and gooey inside, 128 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:17,000 that, my friend, is when you have the sucker! 129 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,360 Yeah! 130 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,920 Let's all make some money! 131 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,160 [ CHEERING ] 132 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:36,200 RADIO: 'To Marquez. Oh, what a crunching tackle 133 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,960 'by the City left back. Don Coleman.' 134 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,320 This is my kind of research. 135 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,120 Not half. 136 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,400 Another beer, please, Ed. 137 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,800 Tell us about your latest signing, Don. 138 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,960 Jason's a simple lad, with simple tastes. 139 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:10,760 That's why we're quite confident here at Footstar that Fresh-Pops 140 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,720 will benefit from its association with such a down-to-earth fella. 141 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,880 See, hand to eye co-ordination, innit? 142 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,240 You've either got it... [ GLASS SMASHES ] 143 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,280 Or you haven't. 144 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:43,160 Eddie was just telling me that he was something of a sportsman himself in his day. 145 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:48,160 - Really? - Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, I've let meself go a bit, but in me time... 146 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,600 - I had trials, you know. - We've all had trials, Eddie. It's the convictions that count. 147 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,080 Right, we ready? 148 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,000 OK, Sean... 149 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,320 Ex-footballer himself, he set up Footstar with the insurance pay-off 150 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,320 he got from an injury and used the skills he learnt on the pitch, 151 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,040 cheating and intimidation mainly, to make it successful quickly. 152 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:16,400 Well, he had some run-ins with the FA and then the allegations about tapping up. 153 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:22,600 He procured some forged visas for foreign players, but nothing's ever stuck. 154 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,120 Why? Because he was the original Teflon Don. 155 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,400 Last year he brokered deals worth over £100 million. 156 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,440 He looks after several England players 157 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:38,000 and he...actually managed to secure them pay rises AFTER South Africa. 158 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,240 No! I'm getting angry again now. 159 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:44,000 - Don't let him get angry, he starts making speeches. - All right. Emma. 160 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:49,240 Alongside the agency, he now also runs a sponsorship company, tying up his players to products. 161 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:54,240 In the last 18 months, he's attempted to broker the purchase of at least one Premiership side. 162 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,280 But the deal always falls through because he's out of his depth. 163 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,960 Judging by what I saw last night, 164 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:03,320 Don Coleman represents everything that's going wrong with the game. 165 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,320 He thinks he's beyond ordinary morals. 166 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:10,400 - If he thinks that, then he's going to teach those lessons to the players. - So how do we rope him in? 167 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,560 Don Coleman is a salesman. That's the only thing he really understands. 168 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,120 So we have to brush up on our sales patter. 169 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,480 - Then we can offer him the only thing he's really interested in. - Money? 170 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,640 Exactly. Money in the form of a bribe, to secure a work permit 171 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,680 for Brandon Casey, our new star striker looking to relocate all the way from Canada. 172 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,560 - And if he takes the bribe? - If he takes it, he trusts us. 173 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,160 - Then we offer him what he really wants. - Exactly. 174 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,480 - A seat at the big boys' table. - Yes. 175 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:41,040 The chance to broker the sale of a football club to...Albert. 176 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,160 What possibly could go wrong? 177 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,440 Sorry, did I miss something? What do I do? 178 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:51,880 Oh. It's a bit of a backroom role on this one, Emma. 179 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,760 Lots of R and D 180 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,240 necessary, of course, but you can't be front line, can you? 181 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,120 - Can't I? Why? - Well, it's just... - It's just what? 182 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,800 It's just you're a woman. 183 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:05,320 - What, and women and football don't go? - Well... 184 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,160 - Oh, Ash, that is so sexist. - Sexist? 185 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,160 There's nothing I like better than watching 22 gorgeous women 186 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,600 - in tight-fitting shorts rolling about in the mud. - I see what you did there. 187 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,920 Like I said, there's lots of R and D necessary. You'll still be a vital part of the con. 188 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:22,080 Oh, God, yeah, vital, essential, key, in fact. 189 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,440 Now, where's me bleedin' dinner? 190 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,320 It's a joke. 191 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,880 - Then you've got the assumptive, of course. - What's that one? 192 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:41,600 "We need to discuss your life insurance. Which day would be best for you, Monday or Thursday?" 193 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,200 - I got it. - And then there's the puppy dog. 194 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,200 "Oh, you don't want a puppy, sir? 195 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,840 "How about you take it home on a free trial. Is that OK with you, kids?" 196 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,720 He does listen! 197 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,920 And you've got your Ben Franklin. "Ben Franklin always used to make a list 198 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,880 "of all the pros and cons, ma'am. How's about we do the same?" 199 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,960 But then my favourite is the negative. 200 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,800 - The negative? - You take it away from them. 201 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:07,520 If you tell someone they can't have something, it becomes the only thing in the world they actually want. 202 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,760 It's risky. 203 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,600 We want to plant a seed in his head, 204 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,080 leave it there, let it grow and harvest it later on. 205 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,200 And then, bam, he's ours. 206 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,560 All right there, mate? Can I help you? 207 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,200 One minute and 48 seconds. Oh, dear. 208 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:35,040 - I'm sorry, who... - Planes - too hard now. Trains - been there, done that. So what aspect of British culture 209 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,000 do you think your crazed terrorist is likely to strike at next? 210 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:43,120 - Er... - Exactly, and you've just given him one minute and 48 seconds to recce your facility. 211 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,680 We knew things were bad, but not this bad. 212 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,720 What's your name, son? 213 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,960 Michael, Michael Williams. 214 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:55,520 OK, Mr Michael Williams, I'm ready to go inside now. 215 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,400 - Er... - Bez, come on, why are you making an issue here? 216 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,800 There is no problem. You don't open till 11, we'll be out by 10. 217 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,120 I need you to trust me on this one. Just one favour, that's all I'm asking, all right? 218 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:11,720 Trust me. Guys, listen up, those of you lucky enough to be chosen, 219 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:16,920 you need to be here by seven. It's for a private event for a sports charity. Come on, look alive! 220 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,160 Hi. And you are? 221 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,200 Cheryl Cole. 222 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,920 Right. 223 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:28,640 But I can also do Michelle Heaton or Posh at a push, if it's not too close up. 224 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:32,320 Yeah, we would need to be within the same county, I'm afraid, love. 225 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,080 OK. Thank you. We'll call you. 226 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,520 Next, please. 227 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,640 Don't tell me, Peter Crouch. 228 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,040 OK, Michael, where are we now? 229 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,440 Section G, pitch level, south end. Like you said. 230 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,800 - Effectively in the heart of the stadium. - Yes. 231 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,040 Pitch side, training session in progress. 232 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,040 And you don't even know my name. 233 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,840 - What? - You don't even know my company's name. 234 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:03,000 - No, but you said... - Yet you have led me, Michael, into the heart of the stadium 235 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,840 because of some frankly quite crude auto suggestion on my part. I could be a complete fraud. 236 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,120 Wait in your office. I'll be ten minutes. 237 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,040 All right. 238 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,080 You're calling him a liar, You're calling him a liar? 239 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,560 Is that right? 240 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:23,960 I mean how's that going to work? You tell me how that's going to work. 241 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,680 Explain that cos you're making no sense, Susan. 242 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,160 We're going round in circles here, girl. 243 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,280 You what? 244 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,680 Say that again. 245 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,080 No, no, no, no, no. It don't work like that, girl. 246 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:40,920 No, listen. If you're not making me any money, then you're working for the competition. 247 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,080 Are you working for the competition, Susan? 248 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,360 No, wrong answer. You're working for no-one, you're fired. 249 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:51,960 Unbelievable! Good-looking girl, brain the size of a peanut. 250 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,800 Get us a cup of tea. Three sugars. 251 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,400 Yeah, yeah, but I bet it's worse for them. 252 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:08,800 Same training regime every day of every week of every year. Can you imagine? 253 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,200 I should think 100 grand a week softens the pain. 254 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,760 Yes, I should think it does, yes. 255 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,960 - Well, I'm here for work. What's your excuse? - Same. 256 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,120 I'm an agent. 257 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,000 Oh, smart man. Knows where the money is. 258 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,640 Sorry, James Buckingham, Hawford and Buckingham Ltd. 259 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,400 Don Coleman. Footstar. 260 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,920 Hawford and Buckingham? 261 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,480 I've not heard of them. What game are they in? 262 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:40,120 Oh, it's all very dull, I'm afraid. Investment mainly, bit of VC, bit of FIE. 263 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,800 All in the leisure industry, finding money for projects. 264 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,480 - What sort of projects? - Anything that'll net us shed loads of cash. 265 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,400 [ HE LAUGHS ] 266 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,960 We put together the lion's share of the Emirates package, 267 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,240 we're heavily involved in the Olympic site, we're moving into club ownership. 268 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,840 You know, introducing money to opportunity. 269 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:04,800 I've got a few contacts in that area myself, club ownership. 270 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:09,760 - Yeah? - You know, potential investors who are looking to put money into a football club. 271 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,240 There's not many about because the numbers are so big, 272 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,160 but when you find 'em, you keep 'em close. 273 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,840 That's very interesting, Don. 274 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,360 You know, perhaps we should... 275 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,000 [ PHONE BEEPS ] Sorry. 276 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,400 No worries. 277 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,400 Oh, bugger off, Boris! 278 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:29,840 Look, Don, I have to go, but are you coming to this knees-up later on? 279 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,160 - Knees-up? - Sports bash in the City, Kahiti's. 280 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,640 I think it might be good if we could talk further. 281 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,320 Oh, yeah, yeah, right... 282 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:40,160 - I've got loads of tickets, shall I put a couple on the door? - Yeah. - I'll leave four. - Cool. 283 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,920 Good to meet you, see you later on. Right. 284 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,440 Nice to meet you. 285 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,800 Bit of business, Don. 286 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,440 Bit of business. 287 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,240 I mean, I get the same, Em. 288 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:57,160 - They don't take me seriously sometimes. - Yeah? 289 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,840 I've got skills they know nothing about. 290 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,920 - Really? - Yeah, listen, I worked in the City for a long time. 291 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,360 - As a trader? - Yeah, I was in sandwiches, had me own lunch round. 292 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,560 Oh, OK. 293 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,120 I worked at MI5, 294 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,960 did their windows for years. 295 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,560 And I bet you didn't know this. 296 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,960 I was nearly a famous actor once. 297 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,600 All right, guys, he's here. Let's have a party. 298 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,280 [ LOUD DANCE MUSIC ] 299 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,160 No, I know how it happened. Get to my office, find it, fax it to him. 300 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:42,080 Yes, immediately. Call me back, call me back. 301 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:46,080 - Don, glad you could make it. How are you? - I'm good. Better than you by the looks of it. 302 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,440 - Just lost a ruddy investor. - Oh, right. Big one? 303 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,960 Supposed to be in for 20. 304 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:55,560 - I can't imagine 20k's gonna be hard for a man like you to replace. - Million, Don. 20 million. 305 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,520 Look, I'm sorry but I have to go and sort this out. 306 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,160 - We were going to have... - I talked to my co-directors. 307 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,920 They're keen for us to meet properly. 308 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,320 - If I could just have five min... - I'll call you, Don. You're on my radar. - James... five... 309 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,240 Yeah, no, no, I've just finished with Fabio now. 310 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,880 Yeah, no, he said he's definitely going to help us 100%. 311 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,960 All right, I'll meet you in the bar in two minutes. 312 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,520 All right, all right. Bye-bye. 313 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:51,080 Sorry, sorry, are you Don Coleman? 314 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,680 Yeah, who wants to know? 315 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,480 Brandon Casey. I wrote you a few years back looking for representation. 316 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,000 I'm a footballer. 317 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,360 - Yeah? - Yeah. I recognised you from your website. 318 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,280 Well, looks like you got a few connections now, kid. 319 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:09,440 Just a few, I'm hoping they can help me. I'm trying to move over here from Ontario. 320 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,680 You're Canadian? 321 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:16,160 Yeah, yeah, I lived here when I was growing up but technically I'm a Canadian citizen hence the problems 322 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,160 with the work permit, blah, blah, blah, you know what it's like. Johnny! 323 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,440 Listen, we should talk. 324 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,320 - That's my guy. - Come on, kid! - Take care, Don, look after yourself. 325 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,360 Excuse me, excuse me, sorry to jump in like this. 326 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,920 Would you by any chance be this young man's agent? 327 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,960 I certainly am. Johnny Savage, but the guys call me Mr ABC. 328 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:39,800 - Always Be Closing? - Hey, a kindred spirit. 329 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,600 - Find the need but sell the want. - One foot in the door is worth two on the desk. 330 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,760 If at first you don't succeed, boom, you're fired. 331 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,520 Don Coleman. I run a UK agency called Footstar. 332 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,800 I think you might just need my help. 333 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,400 Sit down? 334 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:04,160 The only reason I didn't get it, and Dickie phoned me personally to tell me this, 335 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,120 the only reason I did not get that role - 336 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,560 eyes the wrong colour. 337 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,760 I've got blue eyes. Gandhi's were brown. 338 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,440 And I mean, they couldn't have just given you coloured contact lenses? 339 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,240 Contact lenses. Not authentic, you see. They wanted authenticity. 340 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,560 Sir Ben had real brown eyes. That was the only difference between us. 341 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,160 Right. 342 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,040 - Mickey, hi. - Hi. - Come and sit down. 343 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,000 Have a beer. It's my shout. In fact you can have two. 344 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,360 Hold on I'll get you one. I'm just going to go to the toilet. 345 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:42,040 Mickey, did I ever tell you about the time I worked in the City? 346 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,480 I tell you, this kid is special, Don. 347 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,400 I've seen a lot of players in my time, 348 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:54,680 even repped some of the greats, but this kid, I swear he's the new Pele, the new Maradona, the new Rooney. 349 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,320 Fabio loves him, Sir Alex, Roy, Carlo, they're all interested. 350 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,560 I've got a couple of people in immigration, 351 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,880 - who have sorted out problems like this for me before. - Are you serious? 352 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:13,400 Chinese lad last year couldn't get a permit, ran out for Rovers last week. 353 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:17,240 Hey, now, Don, if you could help us, we really would be very grateful. 354 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:20,880 How grateful? 355 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:29,080 OK, if you can genuinely get me a permit that passes muster, 356 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,360 it'll be worth 25 grand to you. 357 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,040 Sterling. 358 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,920 - No. - OK, OK, how much? 359 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,520 Nothing. 360 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:49,200 I'll get you the paperwork for free. But when he's sold, I want in on the commission, 50-50. 361 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,640 - In on the commission? - And I will earn every penny of that, Johnny, 362 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,600 - because I'll do the deal. - But that is my job. 363 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,720 This is not your manor and with all due respect, you do not have the contacts I have. 364 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,600 I'm the best salesman in the business. 365 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:07,920 I will get him double what you would get him and you would be a fool not to accept my offer. 366 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,800 Right. 367 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,560 So what did you say? 368 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,360 - What could I say, that I'd think about it. - So now what? 369 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:24,880 - We quit? - No. - He actually wants to try and sell Brandon. 370 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,720 He's not even going to start trying to do that 371 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,960 until he's confirmed he's as good as you said. 372 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,320 Even if we convince him, he'd have to convince a real team of the same. 373 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,760 We've been in worse situations but I can't think of any. 374 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,040 - What are you actually like at football? - Well... 375 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,760 - He's got two left feet. - That's harsh. 376 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,000 At school there was a kid with no legs got picked before him once. 377 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,320 Tell you what I am good at. Celebrations. Get in there! Come on! 378 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,680 - What you thinking? - I think I'm thinking what you're thinking. 379 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,200 - What do you think I'm thinking? - Goal celebrations. - You think right. 380 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,320 Emma, we may actually need your help on this one. 381 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,400 What, to slice some half-time oranges? 382 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,360 Oh, a bit more fun than that. 383 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:11,320 It was part of his dying wish, to literally become part of this club that he loved so much. 384 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:20,160 So if you could just give us half an hour alone, we'd be so grateful. 385 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,160 Take as long as you need, love. 386 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,760 Thank you. 387 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,840 Thanks. 388 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,160 Right, lads, lots of hugging, lots of kissing, jumpers off. 389 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,640 Let's celebrate. Come on. 390 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:01,840 Come on, have some of that! Yeah, come on... 391 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:33,200 - Hey, how's it going? - Oh, do you know, mate, it's harder than I thought. 392 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,680 - But you can do it? - He brought down my old club, Mickey. 393 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,120 Failure's not an option. 394 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:40,480 All right. 395 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,680 Come on, baby. 396 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:58,040 - Don, James Buckingham here, I'm on a train so I'm probably going to cut out. - All right, yeah, go on. 397 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:02,440 Our company has some lucrative deals on the horizon and we have a role for Footstar. 398 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,440 Which is what exactly? 399 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,080 A bridge between our investment opportunities 400 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,440 and the high net worth sports personalities 401 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,880 you work with all the time. 402 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,680 OK, yeah, yeah, good. 403 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:19,800 We have absolutely no doubt some sort of partnership would be very profitable for us both. 404 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,360 So I would like us to... 405 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,160 Hello? 406 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,720 James? 407 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,720 [ PHONE RINGS ] 408 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,080 [ PHONE STOPS RINGING ] 409 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,760 James, it's Don Coleman. Give us a call back, mate. 410 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,960 [ PHONE RINGS ] 411 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:05,080 Yeah, come on, who's that, who's that! Yeah! 412 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,040 Oh, come on. This is money, this is money! 413 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,880 Three grand a week and I can't get a bloody reception in this place! 414 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,120 - Did you want a biscuit with your tea? - No, I don't want a sodding biscuit! 415 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,040 "Here's Wallace with the ball and he's taking it down the left-hand side 416 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,800 "and oh, that is a fantastic line down through to..." 417 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:37,560 Oh, I am good. I am very good. 418 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,000 You're also Sepp Friedel, 1979 AC Farola. 419 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,520 Yeah? 420 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,440 - Who else? - Bonjachek, Piranesi and Meissen. 421 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,000 You're a Euro pudding. 422 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,600 - So are these ready to post now? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you ready? 423 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,600 Yeah I'll be a scout Coleman hasn't dealt with before so he won't know him to speak to. 424 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,480 And as for the other callers, Emma's had a bit of a brainwave. 425 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,000 Thought I smelt burning. 426 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,480 - Hilarious. - OK, let's do this. 427 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:09,640 Call Coleman, tell him the deal is on and that Brandon Casey's for sale. Albert, get Sean plastered. 428 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,440 Yeah, then let's show this cheating, slimy toad 429 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:16,440 that he dicks with my football team at his peril. 430 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,960 Are you talkin' to me? Are you... 431 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,640 Hang on a minute, see how I get on with this. 432 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,880 Are you talkin' to me? 433 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,640 Well I'm the only one here. 434 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,080 Oh, all right? 435 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,840 I was just brushing up on the old skills, you know. 436 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,640 I don't want to let you down, Em. 437 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,640 I'll take this off. 438 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,560 "He really is worth his weight in gold, absolutely worth his weight in gold." 439 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,320 Oooh, get in, go on! 440 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,560 Boom! Oh! 441 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,480 So is he good or is he good? 442 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,000 He's good. 443 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,200 - Shall I get him in? - Nah, let's go see him. 444 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,000 We'll have to look what's out there. Who wants what. 445 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,200 I'll probably have to film a training session with him and... 446 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,360 - What the... - What? - What do you mean 'what'? He's on bloody crutches! 447 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,920 - I ripped the tendons. - I told you about that. 448 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,160 You never said anything! 449 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:34,080 What's the problem? It's just a little tear. He'll be back in a couple of weeks. 450 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,200 But how am I supposed to sell him NOW when he's on bloody crutches? 451 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,040 You could sell under-arm deodorant to the Venus de Milo. 452 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:47,040 Anyway, we're selling those and we're selling these. Remember, find the need, sell the want. 453 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:52,520 - Mr Coleman, I've got Ray Bowles on line three for you. - Ray who? - The scout? 454 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,400 Says he wants to talk to you about a new lad you've taken on, Brandon Casey. 455 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,200 - How did he know about that? - Good news travels fast. 456 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,000 OK, OK. 457 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,480 This could work, with the injury. 458 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,080 A buzz means a frenzy and a frenzy means a quick sale. Boom! 459 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:14,520 Punch him through, and do something about your face. You're putting me off my lunch. 460 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,520 Oh, mate, mate, listen, you can moan all you like, 461 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,000 but you've got more chance of winning silverware 462 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:32,280 than Brandon becoming a Gooner so bye-bye, close the door on your way out. Cheeky... 463 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:43,440 - Don Coleman, hello? - Don, how you doing, mate? - Yeah, big fella, how you doing? What can I do for you? 464 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,120 Well, I was just ringing about this new boy you've taken on, the lad Casey. 465 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,080 What, Brandon? Yeah, yeah, you heard of him, have you? 466 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,320 Saw him play last year out in Toronto. 467 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,200 Something special, ain't he? 468 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,320 Not bad, Don, not bad, so look... 469 00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,920 [ PHONE RINGS ] Hello, Footstar. 470 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:04,080 Tell him it's Alan Bristol from City calling about Brandon Casey. 471 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:09,360 He's actually on the phone at the moment. Would you mind holding? All right, thank you. 472 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:15,120 There's a position opened up in our squad, we think your Brandon's the one to fill it. 473 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:19,000 Well, listen, Ray, here's the deal, I've got offers coming out my arse on this one. 474 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,760 Not as good as ours, Don. 475 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:25,040 Listen, mate, I'm telling you, I've got top offers so if you're interested, 476 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,480 - move fast, cos I'm looking to shift him out the door today. - Today? 477 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,400 Look, Don, obviously I'd have to see him. 478 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,600 Ray, mate, you've already seen him. 479 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,800 - In Canada, I'd still have to... - Ray, you know what the boy can do. 480 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,720 - Sure, but... - Look, just forget it, right? Forget it, 481 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:44,680 because you're obviously not serious and to be honest, I haven't got the time so thanks for the call. 482 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,200 Wait, wait, wait. 483 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,560 All right, give me some figures, Don. 484 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,440 Very nice doing business with you, Ray. 485 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:11,720 I'll have the contracts and the work permits on a bike asap. 486 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,720 Yeah, yeah, all the best. Bye-bye. 487 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:20,120 35 grand a week, three-year contract and they pay your National Insurance. 488 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,440 The Don is on! 489 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,240 I am the Don! 490 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:32,680 - You are the Don! - I am the Don. And the Don is ON! 491 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,560 And you, Johnny Savage, you owe me 50 grand. 492 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,600 You are the Don. 493 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,840 The King Don. 494 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:48,040 Wait, we're to hand over 50k of our money? 495 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,920 As convincers go, you have to admit it's pretty convincing. 496 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,000 And then Ash introduces the idea of his potential football club buyer? 497 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,680 Billionaire businessman Mr Karl Schultz. 498 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:04,120 - And Coleman sees the opportunity to broker the sale between Schultz and James Buckingham. - You. - Yeah. 499 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:08,960 - What could be simpler? - Erm, I just thought you might like to know, 500 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,760 I do animal noises as well. 501 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,400 Honk. Canada goose, you know, just if you need it. 502 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:23,480 - Honk, what was that? - I think that was a goose. 503 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,000 Oh, a goose. 504 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,640 10... 505 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,080 20... 506 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,600 30... 507 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,320 40... 508 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,640 50,000. 509 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:47,080 You know, the difference between try and triumph? It's just a little bit of oomph. 510 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,240 Voice of velvet, heart of stone, you could sell the Pope a condom. 511 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,960 You're a true gentleman, Johnny, you know that? 512 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,120 You are a true gentleman. 513 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:06,320 - You know, there's someone I'd like you to meet, Don. - Yeah? 514 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,880 A friend of mine from New York. 515 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,280 I've done a couple of deals for him in the past, 516 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,200 but he's mostly Europe based now and I don't really have the contacts here. 517 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:19,200 - What's his game? - Hotels, casinos, shopping malls, but sold up a couple of years back. 518 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:26,120 I mention him cos he's a big soccer fan and he's looking to get involved in a club on an investment basis. 519 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,920 - You ever come across opportunities like that? - Mmmm, maybe. 520 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,560 From time to time. 521 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,080 Really? 522 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,240 What's this fella's name? 523 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:02,320 The negative close thing, 524 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,280 you don't think we've played it a bit too... 525 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,000 negative? 526 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,480 It's fine, he'll call. 527 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,400 He'll call. 528 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,600 [ PHONE RINGS ] 529 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,720 - James Buckingham. - James, Don Coleman. 530 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,800 Don, how are you? 531 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,400 Yeah, not bad, not bad. 532 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,240 To what do I owe the pleasure? 533 00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:40,760 James, I was just wondering... 534 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,160 That investment problem you had, did you manage to sort it? 535 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,000 No, not yet, still working on it. 536 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,280 Right, right. 537 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,240 Do you mind me asking... 538 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:54,040 what sort of investment was it? 539 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,840 For your ears only? 540 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,360 Of course, James. 541 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,000 It's a football club, Don. Why? 542 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,040 Know of an investor? 543 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,520 James, can we meet? 544 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 545 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,080 OK, yeah, see you then. 546 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:23,720 - And that is kick-off! - Come on you Railton! 547 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,640 - The Minnesota Tigers. - Yank outfit? 548 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,880 Yeah, what? Is that a problem? 549 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,640 No, no, my client's an American. 550 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,920 Really? Very good. 551 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,720 Well, they were recently valued at a little under 150 million US. 552 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:45,880 Our consortium has secretly been buying stock over the last month 553 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:50,040 and we were near effective ownership when our problem occurred. 554 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,560 - The 20 million? - Yeah, yeah. 555 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,800 So Don, this isn't a buy, strip and flip, we're offering 556 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,040 a simple bootstrap deal, LBO or HLT, 557 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:06,040 with a combination of syndicated loan and high-yield bonds, or a mezzanine arrangement, 558 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,960 with floating instruments pegged to the London Interbank Offered Rate. 559 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,920 Which one would your man go for? 560 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,480 The second one. 561 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,520 The second one, very smart choice, 562 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:21,480 pre-payable at the rate of the issuer with a no-call period of three to five years. But look at me. 563 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:26,400 What am I doing, blah, blah, blah, teaching my grandmother to suck eggs. 564 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:33,280 So Don, finders fee, standard 1%? 565 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,320 - 1%? - All right, God, look at me - crucified. 566 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,280 One and a quarter then, bastard. Should net you 250 thou. 567 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,440 - Lastly, we have the time issue. - How long you got? 568 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:49,480 I have it on good authority there's a journalist from one of the Sundays sniffing around the story. 569 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:56,160 Story breaks, bid is dead so we have effectively 24 hours to find that money. 570 00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,120 Bottom line, Don, can you do it? 571 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,360 Can you sell this baby? 572 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:09,360 James, I could sell salt to a slug. 573 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,160 Leave it with me. 574 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,960 HA! Good man. That's what I like to hear. 575 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,480 LAUGHS Salt to a slug. 576 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,280 You will call me as soon as you find out? 577 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,720 - Take care, James. - Will do. 578 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:26,480 Salt to a slug! Love it. 579 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,440 Oh, lord, oh, blimey. 580 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,440 Walk away, Don. Out your depth, walk away. 581 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,800 250 grand! 582 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,320 Flip strip and mezzanine arrangement, floating pegs... 583 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,160 Oh, you cannot sell this, Don. 584 00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,240 You do not understand a bloody word. 585 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,160 One phone call, quarter of a million quid. 586 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,440 Nice and calm, Don, nice and easy. 587 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,000 [ PHONE RINGS ] 588 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:22,240 - Johnny Savage. - Johnny, I think I need to see your man. 589 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,640 I think I might have a deal for him. 590 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,200 Get in there! 591 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,000 - Yeah! - Das is gut, ja, ja? 592 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,240 The land of 10,000 lakes. 593 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:46,120 Minnesota means star-tinted water in the Dakota language. 594 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,240 Oh, right, you, you know the area? 595 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:51,480 My father moved from Berlin as a young man. 596 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,640 - Right, before the war? - No after. 597 00:40:55,640 --> 00:41:00,640 - He was otherwise engaged during. - Right. 598 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,160 They welcomed him, made him feel safe till he met my mother. 599 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,320 Then we moved to New York when I came along. 600 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,240 But I've always felt a debt of gratitude to the place. 601 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:17,800 So your people sent these over a couple of hours ago, boring legal stuff. 602 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,200 I haven't had time to read them. 603 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,160 So you will tell me, what is this deal? 604 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:29,160 OK. Well, it's not a buy, strip and...whip. 605 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,040 They're offering either a simple shoelace deal, 606 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,640 LSO or HRT, with a combination of syndicated loan 607 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:40,600 and high-grain bonds, or a little mezzanine arrangement. 608 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:45,760 - Revolving credit? - All the way round, superior secured with floating-rate instruments 609 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:50,520 pegged to the London interface offered rate. 610 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,560 Pre-payable at the option of the issuer with a no-call period of five to seven, ja? 611 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,160 Three to five, I'm afraid. 612 00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,480 They know what they're doing, ya? 613 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,440 Yeah, but you got to move fast, Karl. 614 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,160 There's a journalist sniffing around, if the story breaks, the deal collapses. 615 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,720 I can't be rushed, Johnny. 616 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:11,160 This journalist... [ SPEAKS IN GERMAN ] 617 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,080 ..wood chipper. 618 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,600 I don't think so, Karl. 619 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:27,280 I shall read it. If I like it, Johnny will call you tomorrow morning before ten with my answer. 620 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,920 I hope we have a business deal, Herr Coleman. 621 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,200 [ HE SPEAKS IN GERMAN ] 622 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:35,200 The bill. 623 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,640 Oh, I'll get this. 624 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,000 [ HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK GERMAN ] 625 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,920 What was that about a wood chipper? 626 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,200 No, no, no, it's just a joke, you did good. 627 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,360 Right. 628 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,880 Blimey. 629 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,280 We are so bloody close, Albert, I can taste it. 630 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,680 I tell you we are so bloody... 631 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,640 Ash? 632 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,160 Ash? 633 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,120 I've got a great feeling about this one. 634 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:23,640 I think Shultz wants to invest so Savage will meet me by ten, and if it's a thumbs up 635 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,240 they'll need sort codes, bank details, everything to make the transfer. 636 00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:28,520 'I'll e-mail it over.' 637 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,760 And, Don, I've got a good feeling about it too. 638 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:09,400 How long's it been now? 639 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:15,040 - Nine hours. - I can't believe it. This is awful. 640 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,920 Yep. Completely buggered up the con. 641 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:25,080 Well, it's awful for Ash too... 642 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,880 obviously. 643 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,680 You can see him now. 644 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,960 - Oh, Ash... - All right. 645 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,560 I'm so pleased you're OK. 646 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,880 How are you feeling? 647 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:53,440 Sexually aroused by the feel of your firm breast against my chest. 648 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,600 - Ash, that's my sister! - Ask me what I think of the consultant? 649 00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:01,400 - You what? - Just ask me! - Fine. What do you think about the consultant? 650 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,400 He's a pompous git with a tiny head and a mouth like an arse. 651 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,120 - Albert, ask me if I like your cooking. - Like... 652 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,400 I thought you loved my cooking. Don't you? 653 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,720 It tastes like the elephant house at London Zoo 654 00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:15,080 and if I never have to eat another mouthful I shall die a happy man. 655 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,120 I'm sorry Albert, Em, I don't mean to say these things, but I can't help it. 656 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,760 What do you mean? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with him? 657 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,640 Your friend has developed an unusual condition as a result of his head injury. 658 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,320 - What condition? - Creutzman-Belling syndrome. 659 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,920 It's one of the most severe cases I've ever come across. 660 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,520 - Sorry, Creutzman what? - Belling syndrome. 661 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,240 It's a rare side effect of certain cranial traumas 662 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,440 with subsequent oedema in the left pre frontal lobe 663 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,000 with the result that the patient develops 664 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,280 a complete and profound inability to lie. 665 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,480 For a con man, something of a handicap, I'd have thought. 666 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,800 - You told him you were a con man? - Just after I told him I had his wallet. 667 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,880 Oh, OK, look there's a cure. 668 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,040 - Tell me there's a cure. - No, there's no cure. 669 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,840 Sometimes it just goes away, 670 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:08,800 sometimes people live with it for the rest of their lives. 671 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,880 Personally, with you, I hope it's the latter. 672 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,400 - Any other questions? - Is that a syrup? 673 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,320 You're free to go. Good morning to you. 674 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,360 - Are they really impossibly firm? - Yes, sorry. 675 00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,960 Not even my shepherd pie? 676 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,120 No, sorry. 677 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,640 The con is over, this one definitely, and maybe even... 678 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,120 - No. - If you can't lie, you can't con! 679 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,720 I only tell the truth when asked a direct question. 680 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:44,160 I can still be Johnny Savage, Albert can be Karl. 681 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:48,680 The only problem is if Coleman asks me a question that has an answer which exposes us. 682 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:53,040 - Yeah, that's actually quite a big problem, Ash. - But is it? 683 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,320 Not if those questions aren't allowed to be asked. 684 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:56,960 But how would you stop them? 685 00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,720 What if Emma goes to the meeting with Ash as Schultz's lawyer? 686 00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:05,040 Then when Coleman asks Ash a direct question, Emma, you can distract him, 687 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,800 do whatever it takes to ensure Ash doesn't answer honestly. 688 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,120 - And you really think you can pull this off, Ash? - No, not a chance. 689 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,600 But it's worth a try, isn't it? I mean, it's only one meeting, 690 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,520 and if we get through that, then we've got him. 691 00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:22,760 He has got our dosh. 692 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,320 Yeah. Emma what do you think? 693 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,440 I'm a woman, surely I'll mess things up? 694 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,280 - Come on, he's met everyone else. It has to be you. - Please. 695 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,000 Pretty please. 696 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,720 Go on, then. 697 00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:35,400 Good. OK, how long have we got? 698 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,240 I said I'd call him and arrange a meet. 699 00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:40,440 Talk at him, don't give him a chance to get a word in edgeways, 700 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,760 then set up the meeting. We'll take it from there. 701 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,640 [ HE EXHALES DEEPLY ] 702 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,600 Hi, Don, how you doing? I'm good. 703 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,920 So, I got some news. I think we're in business and we need to meet. 704 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,040 Can I suggest Denby's restaurant in an hour? 705 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,600 Hope that's OK. Great talking to you. 706 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:06,160 Look forward to seeing you. OK, got to run now. Bye. 707 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,480 Piece of cake. 708 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,400 Johnny! 709 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,640 [ HE LAUGHS ] 710 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:27,000 - How are you, mate? You good? - He's good, yeah. 711 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:31,080 - We're both good. How are you? Good? - Yeah, I'm good. Who are you? 712 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,480 - I'm Jess, nice to meet you. - Right. 713 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,760 - Don't tell me, she's your niece, right? - Wro... 714 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,800 No, I'm Mr Schultz's lawyer. 715 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,520 Sure you are, darling. You sly old dog. 716 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,240 - Any more secrets you're not telling me? - As a matter of fact... 717 00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:47,400 Absolutely not, no, none at all. 718 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:51,040 You know, we don't have a lot of time, so can we get straight to it? 719 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,960 A woman after my own heart. My apologies. 720 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,560 By the sounds of it we're going to make some money? 721 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,000 Well, you're not. 722 00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,680 No. You're not going to make some money, Mr Coleman, 723 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,920 you're going to make lots of money! 724 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,480 - Schultz likes my deal? - No, he does... 725 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,600 Doesn't like your deal, he loves your deal, 726 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:12,560 and he's good to go, so all we need now are the transfer details. 727 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,000 - It's that simple? - Oh, it hasn't been simple, Don, trust me. 728 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,600 Right, well I've got the details right here. 729 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,920 Great. 730 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,720 Yeah. Great. 731 00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:26,600 This all looks like it's in order. 732 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,280 OK, I'll get that transferred straightaway. 733 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:30,840 And unless there's anything else? 734 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,200 - What, that's it? - That's it. 735 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,640 Almost seems too easy. 736 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,560 Well, in a funny sort of way it is. 737 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,640 Well, I can't hang about. People to see money to make. 738 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:48,440 - Jess, it's been a pleasure, Johnny, I'll speak to you later? - I don't think so. 739 00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:55,800 Quarter of a million pound. 740 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,920 [ HE CHUCKLES ] 741 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,120 I'm here to see James Buckingham. 742 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,600 James, me old mate. Get your chequebook out, 743 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,560 because as of 20 minutes ago, you owe me a quarter of a million sovs. 744 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:12,320 - Don't you ruddy mate me! - You what? - Schultz's money has just come in. 745 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,120 - Yeah. - 14.36! - Sterling, yeah, and? 746 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,600 "And", Don, "and"? How many times do I have to bloody tell you! 747 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,520 You, take a tea break. Tea break! 748 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,800 Don, the conversion rate was based on the short Libor rate, 749 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:27,320 plus .25 points. 750 00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,880 Those points, discounted on the swaps zero-coupon yield, and shifted 751 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:36,120 by .15 points to equal the actual market curve basis price, 752 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:41,720 making, Don, making 14.86 sterling. 753 00:50:41,720 --> 00:50:43,800 This is kindergarten stuff. 754 00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,760 - Yes, just... - Now your man is nearly half a million short with 40 minutes to go 755 00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,560 before the papers hit the news stands and the deal collapses! 756 00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:51,680 Jesus. I'm sorry! 757 00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:55,440 Don't be sorry, Don, don't be sorry, be better. 758 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,080 Could you please call your man 759 00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:00,960 - and get him to wire the rest of the money now! - I'll call my man, Johnny. 760 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,800 He'll sort it out. I'll call him right now. 761 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,920 Jess speaking. 762 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,200 I need to speak to him, Jess. 763 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:16,440 - Well, Johnny's on another call right now, and actually, we're on our way to the airport. - The airport? 764 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:23,360 Yeah. An ex-business partner of Mr Schultz's turned up on a pig farm in Connecticut. 765 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,160 - Well, some of him turned up. - Oh, my God. 766 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:30,680 Yeah, I know, so Johnny's flying over to the States now to help Mr Schultz sort things out. 767 00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,200 Well? 768 00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,080 Just a minute. We can't get hold of him. 769 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,400 Coleman, Coleman, we need that money. 770 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,680 We need that money and we need it fast! 771 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,520 I don't care if it comes from your account or your client's account, if it 772 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:51,560 is not in our account in 37 minutes, the deal collapses, you do not get one penny of your finder's fee, and 773 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,520 I might be looking at suing your arse for breach of contract from here to Minne-bloody-sota! 774 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,280 OK! OK. Just calm down. I can transfer the money from 775 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:04,360 - Footstar's account, no problem, get it back from Schultz later, - Good. 776 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,320 I just need 15 minutes, James. 777 00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,560 - You don't have 15 minutes! - 15 minutes and you'll have your money. 778 00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,120 Look... 779 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:14,120 You see this? 780 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,600 Do you want your finder's fee? 781 00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,160 It had better be 15. 782 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,920 - I need to see Johnny. - Well, like I said... 783 00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,840 I need to see Johnny now or the deal's off! 784 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,360 - We have to go back. - No, I can't. 785 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,800 - Ash, we have to. - I can't. 786 00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:49,760 - All right. - OK, OK, yeah we'll get the later flight, and we'll see you back at the restaurant in ten. 787 00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,280 Bye-bye. 788 00:52:55,400 --> 00:53:00,920 So here's the deal. There's been a slight bollocks with the figures, some currency rate issue. 789 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:04,680 Bottom line is Schultz is 500 grand light. 790 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,760 Now, I don't want to bother him on his day off. 791 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:09,000 He's got better things to think about. 792 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,480 So I have my bank on the line, here, and I am prepared to transfer 793 00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,560 the funds from my account, and get it back from the German later. 794 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,160 OK, but... 795 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,200 500 grand's a lot of money, Johnny. 796 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:25,800 It's a lot of money. So before I do the deal, 797 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,400 I need to look you in the eye and ask you, Johnny, 798 00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:31,480 is there any reason, any reason at all, 799 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:34,520 why I should be nervous about doing this? 800 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,320 Mr Coleman, I can assure you... 801 00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,880 No offence, but this is a man I've already done business with. 802 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:42,040 This is the man I know I can trust. 803 00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:43,760 I need to hear it from him. 804 00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:48,680 Johnny, is there any reason, any reason at all, 805 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:52,120 why I should not transfer the money? 806 00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,960 Well, of course there is. 807 00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:02,120 It's a con. You are being completely turned over. 808 00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:05,520 If you transfer that half a million, you'll never see it again. 809 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,600 What can I tell you, Don? 810 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:25,920 I'm a professional con artist. 811 00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:33,520 - In fact, so is Jess here. - We're a team, Don, we're in it together. 812 00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,120 Yeah, I'm not a football agent. 813 00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,160 - I'm not a lawyer. - Johnny's not my real name. 814 00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,520 I'm called Emma. Emma. 815 00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:45,640 - So you're not really an American? - No, I'm from London, innit. 816 00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:48,840 And that 50 grand you gave me, that was just to pull me in, right? 817 00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,240 Yeah, right, that was to earn your trust. 818 00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:53,680 - It's what we call a convincer! - We call you the mark. 819 00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,720 - And I've fallen for it hook, line and sinker? - So we thought. 820 00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:00,560 But now you've seen through us. Hey! 821 00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,200 We'll come quietly, officer. 822 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,880 Genius! 823 00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,280 - Isn't it? - You crack me up. - Oh, I crack me up, Don, I crack me up. 824 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,800 Yeah it's Don Coleman. Transfer the money, it's all good. It's fine. 825 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:17,840 Transfer the money. Con artists! 826 00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,960 Oh, my God! You like that. 827 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,360 Oi! Champagne. 828 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:30,280 - Come on. - Here we go. 829 00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:38,920 - There it is! - Yes! Now that's what I'm talking about! That's the one. 830 00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,320 Con artists... 831 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,480 James... 832 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:56,720 Buckingham? 833 00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:59,680 Someone? 834 00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,200 Anyone?! 835 00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:07,760 No! 836 00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:16,360 Perfect play there by Morgan and Kennedy and a richly deserved victory for... 837 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,440 Railton FC! 838 00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,440 So, do you think Coleman'll come looking for us? 839 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,640 No, I think he'll be otherwise distracted. 840 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:31,560 As far as he's concerned, he has lost Karl Schultz's 20 million to a con artist. 841 00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:34,640 If I were him, I'd be keeping a very low profile. 842 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,000 - Oh, yes. Railton. - Things couldn't have worked out better. 843 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,120 Yeah, except for Ash. 844 00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:45,640 Mickey, what the hell are we going to do about him? 845 00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:51,000 - Ash! - Is he all right? - Ash, are you OK? 846 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:55,680 - What happened? - How many fingers am I holding up? 847 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:59,160 - One. - Oh, Ash. - Joke, Em, four. I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine. 848 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,680 Wait, wait, wait. A joke? Lie. 849 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:03,720 - Lie. - Lie. - Lie. 850 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:06,080 - Lie. - What's your name? - Bob. - How old are you? - 21. 851 00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,880 - What's your job? - Brain surgeon. - How do you like my cooking? 852 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:12,640 Oh, Albert, I love it, I absolutely love it. 853 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,640 - Are you all right? - Yeah, yeah. Here's to us! 854 00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,480 - Here's to us! - We're back on! 855 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:25,000 Cheers! 856 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,640 An anonymous donor, apparently. 857 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,840 Over 200 grand. 858 00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:37,720 Restores your faith, doesn't it? 859 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,080 Don't come near me with that thing. 860 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,760 Dog roll, can't beat it. 861 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,760 - I wouldn't even ask why they call it that. - It's delicious. 862 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,560 - Pure minced lips and hoof. - Organic? 863 00:57:56,560 --> 00:58:00,520 - Oh, of course. - Now don't mock until you've tried it. 864 00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,800 Not a chance. 865 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,200 Come on, you Railton! 866 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,840 [ HE LAUGHS ] 867 00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,160 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd