Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all
about knowing fuck all about owt needs to watch their backs--
oof!
So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk,
sending prices sky high, literally-- literally-- taking
the grass from it's own roots.
Now you've got your condemnation.
Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up.
Have we had a national fucking stroke, or what?
Is revolution a word, or was it never?
Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester,
and they charge us for water!
I wandered lonely as a cloud, necking mushrooms rarely found.
This green and pleasant land in ancient times--
yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!
It's not theirs anymore.
This is our England now.
Party!
FRANK (VOICEOVER): You're always aware of when you're doing
something for the first time.
Swim a length, ride a bike, hit the ball
without shutting your eyes.
Drink a man-sized pint, stick your neck out for a mate.
Smoke a cigarette.
Dream of a woman, other than your wife.
Pop your cherry, get pissed, get high,
get sucked off in chemistry class
by Mrs. O'Neil, who's sworn to secrecy.
But you are never aware of the moment when you're doing
something for the last time.
Last meal.
Last fuck.
Last fight.
Last breath.
Sneaks up on you.
You just never know.
DOMINIC: I might not be around for a few days.
You don't have to answer to me.
Yeah, I know that.
Well, it's a big job.
I want you to know these things, that's all.
Keep talking, I'm listening.
50 feet underground.
I'll pick up the shopping on the way back home from Mass.
I know where they are Dominic.
What?
I think I know where they are, I think.
You think?
Well you better think harder, Gloria, because it's
five days since he's been gone.
He told me after we'd--
I wasn't really listening.
Oh, had you all going, did he?
The opposite.
I was pissed off with him.
DOMINIC: Why?
Because I could.
No, why have you waited till now?
Well what do you want me to say, eh?
Oh, by the way, Karen, Jamie did mention where he was going
after we had a fuck, but I can't quite remember all the details.
So where did you fuck him?
That's disgusting.
Gloria, listen, retrace your steps, all right?
Just think about it, it might just jog your memory.
[rat squeaking]
Leave it.
That's the third time I've seen it this hour.
It's getting more confident.
Let it think we're not bothered, and when it least expects it,
I'll jump the little fucker, eh?
Give it a chance to fatten up then, eh?
Best we keep that as long as we can.
Once it's gone, it's gone.
Rather have my share now.
No.
Please.
Fuck me.
No need, Jamie.
You'll thank me for it later.
I'm dying of thirst and I'm fucking starving in here.
Yeah, we all are.
I could eat a scabby horse.
I could eat Frank.
[frank laughs]
Take one prime beef Mancunian, marinate it
overnight with human detritus, then
roast gently over a low light for about, what,
five fucking days until fucking dead?
Oh, there's not much on these bones, you know.
You'd be much better off with Ruby.
She'll taste a lot sweeter.
Not if you value your testicles.
Frank.
It's the only way I can keep the old love plums cool.
Avert your eyes if you're offended.
Oh, I just need something to take me mind off the heat,
if I can do it.
Every last detail.
I mean, give yourself time to remember.
What music you were listening to, what you were doing,
don't leave nothing out.
Are you sure?
Gloria, Gloria, five days they've been gone.
[MUSIC - JOURNEY, "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'"]
His guilty pleasure.
He's a big Journey fan.
So started out in missionary then--
Doggy style.
Self-explanatory.
What's that?
Finger job.
Reverse cowgirl.
And then back to missionary.
So he's quite an athletic lad?
Shot his load, started to get dressed.
JAMIE: Well, it's a big job.
Want you to know these things, that's all.
And that's when he said--
said something about a job.
Scratchcards?
Cabinet War Rooms, converted for secure storage.
It's full of them.
And how come you know about it?
Your Jamie told me.
When?
When was it?
I think it was Friday.
Does it matter?
Yes, it fucking matters.
He's told a fucking stranger and not his wife.
Well, at least we know where they are.
And why have you just remembered now?
[sighing] - Come on, Karen.
I was bladdered.
Something must have gone wrong.
Oh, Poirot has nothing on you.
Well, how the fuck are we going to find them?
A needle in a haystack!
Retrace the footsteps.
I better give them a hand.
20 quid says Frank doesn't make it back.
I'll give you three to one.
Will you fucking leave that?
It was bricked up.
I'll do what I want.
Saw this documentary once.
It takes 14 days to die from dehydration and starvation.
How long have we been here now?
Five.
- Three. - Four.
That's a fact.
Yeah, skin cracks, lips and tongue.
Stomach lining drying out makes you vomit.
Nose bleeds, seizures, organs shrink.
This really isn't helping.
Here you are.
Get some of that down you, lad.
I'd rather have the nosebleeds and seizures.
Ruby?
JAMIE: Oi, scrote!
Pack it in!
Shut up!
It's hollow.
This fucking vent, it's hollow behind the bricks.
SHANE: Here, mind out.
Do you mind?
Nothing.
Oh, why is it men never change the sheets?
It's like sleeping in a fucking jockstrap.
There's got to be something.
We need to get into his head.
Billy, think like Shane.
[sobbing]
(IMITATING SHANE) Kelly, please don't leave me, Kelly.
I love you.
Look, what is it exactly we're looking for here?
Clues, pictures, anything that can help us retrace the steps.
What about this?
KAREN: What the fuck?
BILLY: It's a schematic of the lottery building.
There's posters all over the wall.
He's told your brother, but he's not told his wife.
[door opens then slams shut]
It's a gas escape for another sewage channel or summat.
Fucking rank!
It gets narrower the further you get in.
Oh, fuck's sake.
Do you think you'd fit in there?
No.
But funny enough, it's about your fucking size.
If I thought I'd fit, I wouldn't hesitate.
Oh, yeah?
Someone's gotta go in there.
We don't know where it goes, if it goes anywhere at all.
Shimmy back the way.
It's a-- it's a maze of fucking
tunnels and vents and pipes.
Nobody knows where half of it goes.
Well, someone does.
Yes, but he's conspicuous by his fucking absence, isn't it?
So we just stay down here fucking permanently, do we?
Oh, that's fucking optimistic, isn't it?
[shouting and arguing]
Aidan!
Don't be so fucking stupid!
AIDAN: I'd rather risk this than stay
with you moaning bastards a minute longer than I have to.
If you die we're not coming for your body,
you fucking asshole!
Love you, kid.
Aye, carrot and stick.
The fuck are you doing?
Making sure we're covered.
You're writing him off already?
What if he's dead?
What if he's found shit loads of money and fucked off?
What if he's got another woman?
What if he's shot or in jail?
Oh, don't be soft.
I'm being practical.
Look, if something happens me and Connor are on our own,
and I need to know that we're going to be OK.
You do what you need to do for your son, Mimi,
and I will do the same for mine.
[box pops open]
You got a secret s
Nothing that'd interest you.
I'll just ask the lads what they think about that.
Oh, fuck it, all right.
All right, all right.
Something that I left down here last time I came down.
Wow.
It's sentimental value.
You know, it's trophies of an unspoiled life.
Spliff, copy of "Shoot."
Porn mag?
Football, you dummy.
Remember, something pure.
Picture of the family.
Oh, fuck off.
It's a statement of intent.
What's going on?
Disaster relief.
We're getting prepared in case we find them.
We'll find them.
Thermal blankets, cereal bars, water, vits.
We need blood.
Violence isn't the answer.
For a blood transfusion, dopey.
What if they've been in a shootout and one of them
needs blood?
Patty always kept a fridge-full, every blood group,
just in case.
AVRIL: Well, I'm not arguing with her.
And that lot can volunteer.
And any complaints, fuck off to another pub.
Your Tish has locked herself in our bathroom
and won't come out.
[knocking on door]
Tish, what's going on?
I'll kick this door in, you know I will.
I wanted something of Aidan's.
Then I saw this.
For God's sake.
That might be all that's left of him.
How do you know it's his?
It could be--
I do my business at Lillian's.
There's no way my buttocks are sharing
porcelain with Frank Gallagher.
Or it could be Frank's.
Frank's missing, and Mrs. Croker can't go up the stairs.
It's not mine.
I only go on Sundays.
You only take a dump once a week?
Regular.
Come on.
I'm not moving until Aidan comes home.
"Truth is beauty and beauty is truth.
Liberty, fraternity, and equality, a life worth living."
Making a mark?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get the picture.
I was a dick when I was a lad.
No, you had ambition and dreams.
What's wrong with that?
Ambition, dreams, principles.
Life soon kicked the living shit out of that.
Frank, it's not too late to turn your life around.
Oh, don't dare pity me, you cheeky bint.
I am happy with my lot.
Ambition's a scam, designed to make
sure you keep your head down, be an obedient little consumer.
I'm just being supportive.
Well, don't.
Sort your own house out.
Trying to wheedle your way into a family
most people would try and wheedle their way out of.
I'm not trying to wheedle my--
You don't count as blood to the Maguires
unless you slithered out of Mimi's scally muff.
And you didn't, so you don't.
Fuck knows why you'd want to.
B positive, yeah nurse?
[groaning]
That hurts.
Oh.
Will you stop fucking whining?
It's a good deal--
pint for a pint.
Which ridiculously overvalues you lot.
Do 25 and we'll let you go free.
Clear.
Do it in block capitals!
Oh, right.
Right.
I'm off to see a man about a shit.
I thought she only did all her business at Lillian's
[donor groaning loudly]
Please, God, or whoever the fuck's up there,
bring Shane back.
I'll do anything.
I'll devote my life to you.
[sizzling]
It's fucking warm.
It's a body fluid.
It's good for you.
Probably bits of jizz and god-knows-what
washed out in his sample.
You might as well have given him a nosh, put
the poor lad out of his misery.
Ruby?
[groaning]
Mm-mm.
Look, you can't live off of toothpaste alone, you know?
I know, I know.
Come here.
We're gonna be all right.
All right?
Yeah?
Mm-hm.
The fuck are you doing?
[chuckles]
- I don't know, I just think-- - Well then don't think.
We're family!
Fuck off!
You were all over me!
Was I the fuck all over you?
Cut it out, Ruby!
Uh, a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss.
You're the twat that brought the fucking shaft down!
Oh, yeah, it's my fault for trying to escape my captors,
my kidnappers, innit?
How selfish am I.
You weren't kidnapped!
Well, blackmailed at the very fucking least,
over the life of an innocent.
Tight bastard, you said he was missing.
You are not fucking eating him!
BILLY: That's the building, and that's the shaft there.
SHANE: You don't know what you're on about.
No, look.
That padlock's off it.
Open it up.
There's rubble down there.
It must have collapsed.
Shit.
[indistinct arguing from below]
Shh, I can hear voices.
Shh, let's go.
Jamie?
I can hear voices, it's coming from here.
Shh, Jamie?
(ANGRILY) I'm warning you, Frank.
MIMI: Jamie? Are you all right?
Are you alive? Are you OK?
Mum!
Mum, we're down here.
Mum, we're alive!
[cheering]
Yes!
We're OK.
Where the fuck have you been?
Aidan, nice one mate.
I knew you'd do it.
What the fuck's Aidan got to do with it?
Jamie, we haven't seen Aidan, lad.
So who told you we were down here?
MIMI: Someone only broke the golden rule.
Who's been a naughty boy, Jamie?
The fuck have you done?
Only went and told Dom all about the job-- how, where, when.
Best mistake you ever made, son.
Yeah, well I fucking forgot, didn't I?
I drank his fucking piss, Jamie.
[nauseated groaning]
Because you said that nobody knew.
MIMI: Don't worry about a thing.
We'll rob a tent off the tram extension,
nobody will think twice.
And this place is fucking deserted over the bank holiday.
Go on, get going.
We'll all have to do it the other way.
Look, we can't stay too long, OK?
Her husband could be dead, for fuck's sake.
What have you got on more pressing than that?
There's loads of folk who'll cover, you know.
Go upstairs, rest.
I'm all right.
Sweep.
What?
For them underground-- who croaks first, and when.
It's times like this when folk need a distraction.
What if he's not on a job, and he's on the fucking job?
Oh, it's a chuffing orgy, is it?
With his own brother and Frank Gallagher?
Well, he's acting weird.
Get out from behind that fucking bar, I'll do a shift.
[cell phone vibrates]
Oh my God.
They found him.
They're alive.
Except Aidan is missing.
I wonder if anyone's picked him?
[coughing]
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Here you are.
Sound, bro.
When can I get this back?
You'll get it when you fucking get it, all right?
Fuck off!
Let's go.
Are you ready?
Here's the first one.
There'll be plenty to go around.
Little sips, yeah?
Water.
Here you are, Frank.
Here's a bevvy.
[can cracks open]
Shane!
Give us one of those, Frank.
The fuck's that?
It's a webcam, Shane.
Thank fuck.
Back in the 21st century.
Sorted, yeah!
[cheering]
Gentlemen, we've got eyes and ears.
And ears.
- No way, can you see us? - Yeah!
Yeah.
Ha, ha.
Is-- is, uh, mum up there?
You look terrible.
How you holding up?
OK?
Yeah, we're fine now we've got the provisions.
Um, listen, have you heard from Aidan?
Hello?
Nothing.
No word.
Here are some batteries. Watch your heads.
When you're running low, send the old ones up
and we'll recharge them.
Hiya, baby.
How are you, son?
Hi, mum.
Um, cheers for helping out, mum.
That's what your mum's for, son.
Love ya.
Oh, I love you too, and I miss you so much.
- Hey, Ches? - Yes, Jamie?
Great spliff, mate.
[coughing]
[rattling in ducts]
[aidan screams]
Shh.
AIDAN: Wait.
[grunting]
It's fucking horrible down here.
I know, I feel sick.
Right.
We'll go in through the top, so long
as we shore it up as we go.
All right, well we'll do it in shifts, yeah?
There's no space to dig side-by-side.
Do a time and motion study, did you?
No.
No one's done them since the '70s.
Just physics-- mass, space, and time.
Anyway, you do first shift, and I'll rest up.
Mum?
Mum, you there?
Mum?
She's got them going on the dig, Jamie.
Who's that?
It's Dom.
JAMIE: Thank fuck you remembered where we were, eh?
Well, as you know, I was pissed
as a newt when you told me.
Difficulty was putting together all the little things
that I thought I knew.
I can imagine.
Ah, Gloria was a great help, though.
You know, she managed to make sense of it all for me.
Is she there?
I believe she's at the pub with your Karen.
Was she upset?
Now which she are we talking about here?
My wife.
I let her know you were OK.
But she didn't come down?
Dominic?
Give Karen a call, yeah?
Tell her I'm all right.
Tell her I said--
tell her I said--
Dom?
[metallic rumbling]
[crash]
Help.
You all right now?
Comfortable? - No, man.
My legs are falling asleep.
We're making good progress.
Must've had 40 buckets out.
1,696 cubic inches a bucket.
That's 480 kilos.
You've just fucking made that up.
Fair enough, but it can't be that far.
You're doing a good job anyway.
My shift in 40 minutes, yeah?
We need to get rid of the scratchcards.
If we get pulled, they're evidence.
It's the whole reason we're here.
And where are we going to cash them?
As soon as people find out the tunnel's collapsed,
they're gonna be looking for them.
Small prizes, multiple locations.
Always stay one step ahead.
So why did you let it slip to Dom?
Well, just be glad I did, or we'd be stuck here permanently.
Besides you were hardly a model of self-control.
What the fuck does that mean?
Means you led him on with his knob.
Did I?
Well, who'd of though it?
I've got the moral high ground.
[crash]
Ahh!
JAMIE: Oh, fucking hell, Frank!
What have you done, Frank?
I didn't touch it!
[police sirens]
Fuck!
Hurry up!
This will definitely work.
What are you guys doing?
A fucking tampon?
What?
You think that would expand and block the pipe?
Oh, you've got another one, have you?
Oh, great.
Maybe that one will blow up to a five-man dinghy,
and we can sail on out.
Ah, fucking funny.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Right, let's get all this lot off the floor and in here
before it starts flooding.
MARTY: It doesn't look right.
Because it's fucking pasta sauce.
Let's just hope they don't need it.
Don't fucking ask.
Let's just accept life is weird and move on.
Tish still upstairs?
[scoffs]
Tish, you still with us?
Tell me you are fucking joking.
Show some respect.
[door slams]
[police sirens in distance]
We've got trouble.
[rumbling]
[water gushing]
Shit.
Jamie?
[sparks flying]
What if he doesn't come out, G, and my last memory's
us two arguing?
Oh, he'll come back and you'll be fine.
You've had a tiff, so what?
If ever there were a couple made for each other, it's you two.
At least I can look good for him when he comes out.
That's my girl.
In my experience, there's not much a fellow won't risk
for the sake of a good ride.
How are we getting on?
What's wrong? Is Jamie OK?
Can
We've had a setback.
There's been a second collapse.
- But is he OK? - Camera feed's down.
We don't know.
Billy's down there, too.
What if I lost my boys?
If she finds out, Mimi will quite literally
gargle with your testicles.
You won't be in the room, but she'll
gargle with them nonetheless.
It's your fault.
Well, it usually is.
We expand, just to humor me.
You still love Shane.
Bring Shane back.
I'll devote my life. - And the rest.
It's superstition-- rabbit's foot,
Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny.
It's any old port in a storm.
I prayed for Shane to come back, and I got this for Jamie.
I'm fasting for Frank, rosary for Aidan,
and I'm wearing this for the cranky Scotch one.
You promised you'd devote your life.
I didn't mean it.
It's a crisis.
People promise any old shite in a crisis.
Billy and Jackson are all right.
They're coming up.
[police sirens]
You OK?
Look at them.
We're over here, all Great Escape and that.
But they're just totally oblivious.
Fuck this.
Where are you going?
They could be near their last breath down there.
We need help.
Not the police.
It's your son that's down there.
You know, the one that you care so much about.
[chuckles]
It's funny, innit?
It's all been about Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
Not even a mention of Shane.
Hey, we're here for Shane all right?
Look, we're all here for everyone.
Give us one more go.
If we can't get through, then call the police.
Yeah. We're close, Karen.
We can do it.
Come on.
Let's get a shift on.
JACKSON: Yeah, and two hands are better than one this time.
BILLY: You mean four hands are better than two.
[sparking]
Fucking had it with this place!
FRANK: No, no!
What, it's not dangerous, is it?
Fucking lethal, I think.
Well, that's how they kill people on films, innit?
They throw a toaster in the bath and that.
No, I think you'll find that salt water conducts.
Fresh water's safe enough.
[frank yells]
Oh, well, be my guest.
[rumbling]
Whoa!
You know as well as I do, prison would kill him.
He could be All already.
Don't say that.
And if he isn't, I don't care if he goes down.
I just want him back in one piece.
If he don't make it, this is on your head.
May God forgive you.
Move.
No, Mimi.
Get off.
Oh my God, the whole place is coming down.
We need to get the cable out of the water,
or we'll all fucking dead.
Volunteers?
[sparking]
I've been a certified coward all my life, mate.
How about you, big man?
Want to show us how it's done?
No chance.
Fuck it.
Whoa!
You'll kill yourself, mate.
Not if I get the cable out of the water before I
hit the surface.
Oh, yeah?
And what about the leccy that's already in the water?
Well, I don't know, do I?
Fucking-- - Oh, for fuck's sake!
If you want to stand around discussing the finer points--
[sparking]
On my count of three, let me go.
One.
[sparking]
Oh!
Two.
[sparking]
Oh!
Would it be any easier if you went on a count of four?
I want to do it, but my legs aren't cooperating.
We're through.
Buzzing!
JACKSON: Hello?
Can you hear us?
Oi, Jackson!
Jackson, stay where you are, mate!
We've got a huge problem in here!
[billy laughs]
How unpopular are you?
Even buried people don't wanna see you.
Well, go on.
I thought you were seedless, not impotent.
How about you go in, Frank?
[yelling and arguing]
Ruby!
No!
(IN SLOW MOTION) Go!
JAMIE: Go!
Get out!
[rumbling]
[sparking]
Hello, partner.
I'll kiss you when I taste fresh air, mate.
[grunting]
[coughing]
You're not coming?
You can't stay here.
Come on.
Fuck's sake, hurry up.
How many more?
BILLY: Two, plus Ches.
Well, what about Aidan?
JACKSON: Nobody knows where he is.
He's been gone for hours.
The collapse happened awhile ago.
He could be anywhere.
You just fucking left him?
You're more than welcome to go down and have a look.
He's gone.
AIDAN: Who's gone?
Oh, kiddo, I thought you were lost.
How the fuck--
Met a bloke who lives down there.
Scavengers.
Led me out the drain over there.
Jamie.
Hey, mum.
[grunts]
I'm sorry, babe.
I'm sorry.
Frank, you bell-end, come on!
Bizzies!
[police sirens]
Oh, we're fucked if they find us.
[INDISTINCT POLICE CHATTER ON
RADIO]
Agh.
What?
I'm not even fucking good enough to arrest now?
There you are.
You thought I'd gone again?
Can you drop it?
I feel bad enough as it is.
Look, everything I do is for us, for our family--
you and him, you're the only thing
that kept me going down there.
Weren't you scared?
Was I?
Fuck.
Scared.
No, it's not mine.
Wrong color.
How embarrassing-- praying over the wrong shit.
Oi, what are you doing?
I nearly died getting those. - Uh, I know.
And I fucking hate them.
If any of these get traced back here,
you go down for a very long time.
I already nearly lost you once.
Oi, Dom!
I need a word, mate.
Sorry, Jamie.
Not now, eh?
[MUSIC - LADY GAGA, "BORN THIS WAY"]
[cheering]
Well, now we're all home safe and sound.
[smack]
Oh, fucking hell, mum.
I want it understood--
you ever give me a fright like that again, I
will never forgive you.
Never!
There's been too much loss in this family as it is.
And I just want to say how grateful
I am you all made it back.
There were times I thought you wouldn't--
and how much I love you.
Thank you.
Pissed already?
Yup, always get sentimental after a skinful, don't ya?
I'm talking about Ruby.
My lads would be dead if it wasn't for her.
Jamie told us what you did.
We're proud to call you family, kid.
Hard luck.
Ruby!
ALL: Ruby!
[cheering and applause]
Oh, I haven't got one!
Hey!
Oi, no mention of you-know-what on Facebook.
I'm not an idiot.
And you don't tell me what to do no more.
Uh, where are you off to?
Get wasted and shag bareback in a bus shelter.
So long as you're back by 11:00.
Love you.
Thank you so much.
Oh, leave her alone, dickhead.
[slap]
[thud]
Bit of a rascal, aren't you?
What are you on about?
Your act of heroism--
slightly less heroic when you consider the rubber boots
you were wearing.
Ahh.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking Braveheart, yeah.
Nothing like a bit of insulation to save you from a death
by electrocution.
Yeah not the only one with a guilty secret, am I?
What?
Your little letter from 16-year-old Frank.
Oh, no, no.
It's just the ramblings of a hormonal teen.
That you replied to.
Bollocks.
And then sealed up, so no one will ever see it.
Your secret's safe with me, Frank.
But you are a romantic.
Clever bitch.
Busy while you were away.
Oh yeah?
Mm-hm.
All the collections from last week, paid in full.
So you better start recruiting some new bodies
and building a proper team.
Mm-hm.
[toilet flushes]
[door opens]
Thank you.
I, um--
I couldn't remember.
I know.
But it's fine.
FRANK (VOICEOVER): Fair enough.
You might not know when your number's
up-- you know, your last meal, last fuck, last breath.
So what?
Why would you want to?
Life's a journey, not a destination.
Can't piss it away waiting for times to turn good.
Hey, make your own good.
Fight fuck, frolic, imbibe, indulge, and fuck some more.
Oh, fuck.
Sorry, Terry.
FRANK (VOICEOVER): Love your fellow man.
And most of all, my dear friends--
cunts that you are--
be happy, for what else is there?
[music playing]
So you got any plans for the summer?
Yeah, I might head up to Knowsley Safari.
You know, bring a tent, sleep out.
Yeah, can you do that?
Not official like.
But you know, if you keep one step ahead.
It's a fucking buzz, mate.
Extreme camping.
Sneaking up on lions, making them shit themselves.
How about yourself?
Uh, me and your mom are going to try for another baby.
I'm not too fussed about the getting pregnant,
but I'm looking forward to all the practice.
Oh, aye?
She's a proper generous lover, your mum.
But I'm happiest when I'm pleasing her, you know?
Yeah.
I love that little sound she makes just
before she's about to come.
You know.
Yeah.
It's like a little mouse.
(FALSETTO) Ehh! Ehh!
Ehh, ehh-heh-heh.
[slap]
[sobbing]