[music playing]
[tapping]
Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck
all about knowing fuck all about owt needs to watch their backs.
[thud]
Oh!
So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk sending
prices sky high, literally-- literally!-- taking
the grass from its own roots.
Now you've got your ConDemNation, Liberals
noshing Tories like alter boys picking dimps up.
Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?
Is revolution a word--
[explosions]
--or was it never?
Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
Well, for fucks sake, we live in Manchester--
[thwap]
--and they charge us for water.
I wondered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found.
This green and pleasant land in ancient times--
Fucking bastard.
FRANK: Yak, yak, yak yak, yak, yak yak, yak, yak, yak.
It's not theirs anymore.
This is our England now!
[cheering]
Party!
[music playing]
The way I see it, all living creatures
have three basic needs--
eat,
[dog whimpers]
defecate,
[heavy breathing]
fornicate.
Beyond that, it's all about want.
Money, health, belief in a higher
power of whatever stripe.
Not me.
I am content.
I'm the center of my universe because I'm worth it.
Yeah, right.
Therefore, all I want in life is recognition
for a job well done.
[cheering]
[music playing]
You're going to get caught.
You're going to lose everything.
What?
[screaming]
[heavy breathing]
[soft music playing]
[chatter]
I've got a win.
Oi, I've won a pound!
Oh, come on.
You're a fucking one-woman case for euthanasia, you are.
Yeah, let's have a look.
Oh, well-- well, yeah.
Look, I'll tell you what.
Just to save you time, I'll--
I'll give you a quid, you know, a pound.
Pack it in!
You've won a tenner, Lillian.
Look at you.
Lucky white heather.
Fuck me.
You don't know you're living, huh?
What are you on about?
SHANE: A terrorist on Gibson Street
has collapsed straight down into a big hole in the ground.
And the two buildings either side barely touched.
Mine shafts or something.
All of fucking Manchester's built on tunnels.
I'm surprised the whole city hasn't collapsed.
Yeah, well I would love to see theatre of shite collapse.
[crashing sound] - Yeah, would we all?
Bye-bye, United. Haha.
It's unlikely, admirable though the thought is.
Salford teeters atop coal seams but Satan
himself protects Trafford.
Plenty of time to pick up trivia on the dole, have you?
As a matter of fact, it was me first job after school,
smart-ass. - Job?
SHANE: You had a job?
Hmm.
Wading through shit underground, shoring up
dilapidated Victorian sewers so the fucking Cabinet
War Rooms didn't collapse.
KELLY: We went to them on a school trip.
FRANK: Yeah, it was Winny's hideaway
in the Second City in case the Nazis flattened Westminster.
Second City, my ass.
Get over it.
You know who owns the War Rooms now, don't you,
and the whole block above?
That fucking nonce who runs the great northern lottery.
Go away!
- Fuck off. - Seriously?
LILLIAN: The one that runs all the late-night porn?
I applied to be one of the girls on the beds.
You know, a pound 50 a minute for some verbal filth and a bit
of camel toe.
PATTY: Your mother would be proud.
Uses them as his printworks now.
Lottery HQ.
MIMI: Don't mess about up that way.
One-eyed Gary tried to knock that place off.
They gave him 6 months in traction and 27 years.
Fucking disgusting.
A hallowed room where Churchill might have retreated to govern.
But he never did.
Well-- well, he might have done it if the Germans
hadn't been so rubbish.
And now it's host to the tax on the poor--
weekly draws, lucky dips, and scratchcards, and fucking hell.
What do you think One-eyed Gary would have got away
with if he'd have gotten away?
Well, say he took two rucksacks in.
A box of cards measures approximately 12
by 5-- probably eight boxes in a bag,
1,000 tickets in each box-- that's 16,000 tickets.
1 in 10 of those are winners so that's 1,600 winners.
Anything over $200 needs a name and address so it's a no go.
So say 9 in 10 are under $200, your average
is going to be what, 20 quid?
So 20 times 1,400--
about 28 grand, give or take?
Uh-huh, bless.
[casino sounds]
Where the fuck did you get these?
Council archive for those two, straight off the internet,
and this from the library.
I didn't know you had library card.
(LAUGHING) Fuck off.
I robbed it.
You don't steal from libraries--
it's unethical.
So what are we looking at here, then?
Yeah.
Right, we've got a--
I haven't a fucking clue, mate.
We're going to need some help.
Ventilation shaft leading from the War Rooms
back along this way to the pump room.
Oh, yes.
Clean water for the dignitaries and selected
toffs in case of an air raid while the plebs
fry to death up atop.
Oh, focus, Frank!
All right.
Well, the pump room can be accessed via the sewer tunnels.
They're serviced by maintenance shafts here, here, hmm.
Where does this one come out?
FRANK: That one is, uh--
what's that street, there?
Oh, yeah.
That's the car park in what is now Perseverance Way.
We need a body up top.
Right surveillance, observation, details, time,
movement.
What security they've got, how many shifts, when they change.
Cameras-- where are they?
What's their coverage, blind spots, alarm system?
We need to know every cough, spit, and fart of the place
or we don't go.
Then we go into shaft 47/B off Perseverance Way.
Two-man advance down 80 feet harnessed to each other
on the ladder, taking no chances,
to the north by northeast tunnel.
Into the pump room, into the vent, then straight, right,
then straight again for 140 yards,
and into the secure room.
We take only what we can carry; no more than 11 rolls a man.
Greed is not good in this scenario.
Two journeys taking no longer than four hours,
clearing the site with 15 minutes
to spare before the change of shift at Target,
and it'll be two weeks before they even
realize the cards are gone.
[glasses clang]
[cheering]
AIDAN: Now wait.
Hold on, hold on.
How do you spell "surveillance"?
Oh, for fuck sake.
[music playing]
Boy Scouts day out, is it?
Something like that.
Then you wouldn't by any chance
be straying on the wrong side of the law, would you?
Nah.
I'm making sandwiches for the church social.
Fair enough.
No, it's dangerous.
That's why I can't tell you.
You shite.
Probably make a packet, though--
you know, if it comes off.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
(SINGING) I loved you because of all that.
That's the truth.
(SINGING) That's the truth.
That's the truth.
(SINGING) I don't think you know where your head is.
I was always there to help you break the fall.
ALL: (SINGING) And now you want to pretend
that you're a superstar.
And now you want us to end what's taken you this far.
Don't tell me that you're done as far as we go.
You need to have a sit-down with your ego.
You've been watching Deja Vu, Andre.
[music playing]
Stop sticking your tits out.
I'm not.
You fucking are and it looks stupid.
Well, maybe if you didn't keep all the good lines to yourself
I wouldn't have to, would I?
Uh, well, I have the best voice.
I've got better tits than you, and I've
got a better voice than you.
[scoffs]
I'm going for a fag.
[music playing]
All right, Mr. Powell.
[making music sounds] I just want to be famous.
I've got so much to offer.
I think they're quite talented.
You see Deja Vu, Andre selling millions?
It's not about selling records these days, grandma.
Shift your head.
It's about uploads and downloads, number of hits,
comments, feedback, going viral.
Deja Vu, Andre.
Do you think they even know what that means?
They think it's sophisticated.
What are you up to?
Work.
Well, is that it?
Look, the less I tell you, the better.
You know that.
You can't be charged as an accomplice
so at least Connor's got one parent guaranteed not inside.
Don't ask me about my work, Karen.
Is that all I'm getting?
What are digging around for? Don't you trust me?
You think I'm out cheating on you; fucking around?
Because I'd have a better excuse than this if I was,
but I'm not so.
I meant is that all I'm getting--
no kiss?
Sorry.
Just distracted, that's all.
FRANK: Oh, fuck it.
I-- I've done me bit.
There's no point, I'm only going to slow you down.
You've been down there.
You know what it's like.
Well, 35 years ago.
How's that going to be of any use?
I can barely remember this morning,
let alone 25 years ago.
- You said 35. - Well, see?
Point proven.
Oh, shut the fuck up, Frank and stop whining like a woman.
Who's like a woman?
JAMIE: What are you doing here?
RUBY: I'm coming with you.
The Five Musketeers.
Her share comes out of your cut, you stupid little fuck.
Says who?
Who the fuck put you in charge?
I did.
Someone's got to lead and I'm senior.
- Ah, like fuck. - All right, fine.
Let's put it to the vote, shall we?
Yeah.
Arms up, who wants to follow Shane?
Put your fucking arm down.
Right.
We've got a schedule to follow.
[western music playing]
[beer can opening]
What?
Right, well very best of luck to you all.
Don't worry, I am the soul of discretion.
Uh, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Hey, I don't think so, Frank.
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry, Frank.
We need you down here or it's the blind leading the blind.
How the fuck is--
I don't want to go.
I don't want to?
Man, that is such a shit excuse.
Well, I don't.
I am not going.
It's up to you.
Fucking think of the karma.
Are you coming?
No.
[squeaking]
[gasps] You fucking monster!
RUBY: Think I heard a tiny cry, Frank.
I don't know. Maybe it made it.
- You think so? - Nope.
Nah.
Right, hang on, mate. I'm coming.
Ah, shit.
There you go.
Thank you.
Right, you.
Stay sharp, yeah?
FRANK: Stink!
Please tell me that smell ain't your ass?
Argh!
You said there'd be a fucking ladder!
FRANK: Don't talk to me, you murderer!
Yeah? Don't you forget that, Frank.
Why are you so scared, anyway?
FRANK: I'm not scared, I'm exercising choice--
or trying to!
Boy, I think this is a buzz!
Yeah, well, you're the jock, aren't you?
Being in the sewer's a step up in the world for you, then.
Very funny.
Oops! [thud]
Ow!
FRANK: Careful! - Bastards.
Will you all stop fucking jabbering and concentrate?
Because if one of you lot falls--
I'll tell you-- you'll bring me down with you
and I won't be happy.
Trust me.
Oooh!
[arguing in the background]
JAMIE: Fuck off!
FRANK: Oh, shit.
Careful, careful careful.
Terry?
Just fucking can't-- just watch where you're standing.
Watch it!
Where is he?
Oh, for fuck sakes, Frank!
Look, here he is.
[squeaking]
He seems fine.
Oh.
Bastard.
JAMIE: Right.
We'll be out of here in a few hours.
Speaking of which, hurry up.
FRANK: Oh, well, my work here is done.
Do I have to fucking hit you?
This way.
[door creaking open]
See it?
FRANK: Oh, fucking hell no.
Fuck it.
Ow.
Woo.
It is hot in here.
FRANK: There you have it, your vent.
Fucking look at you.
This is fucking gluttony.
It's all grab, grab, grab, me, me, me.
Everybody wants.
Give us another one.
It's not fucking right.
Fuck me.
In your dreams.
Careful.
[heavy thud]
[squeaking]
All right, Ruby.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?
JAMIE: Well, she wants to be a team player.
Now she's a team player.
In there?
I'm game.
Let's get the vent off the other end, yeah?
Excellent.
- You OK? - Damn fucking right.
Let's do this.
[music playing]
[beer can opening]
ALL: (SINGING) Don't tell me that is time for going solo.
You need to knock some sense into your ego.
[laughs]
You've been watching Deja Vu, Andre.
The Fall, the Monday's, Stone Roses, and now Deja Vu, Andre.
It's Manchester's next gift to the world.
I've seen worse on TV on a Saturday night.
She's not doing her school work because she's
concentrating on her music.
How big do you feel right now?
I was just being realistic.
Or cynical.
They're showing initiative-- trying to better themselves.
They'll be wanting boob jobs and to be in magazines.
That's not the work ethic I'd hoped for.
I believe in them.
Oh, come on!
RUBY: Shane, I can actually feel you staring at my ass.
SHANE: I'm not!
There's ghosts down here, you know?
Fucking hell!
Wise up, Frank, you dick.
Listen.
I'm telling you.
I can feel another presence down here.
I can sense it.
JAMIE: It's just us, Frank-- no one else.
Why do you keep saying my name?
I mean, I don't keep saying "Jamie," Jamie.
Why do you keep saying "Frank"?
Would you fucking relax?
Oh.
Is it because I'm going to be the first to die?
What?
Well, you know, that's what you keep saying.
Like, Frank this, Frank that.
It gives me identity.
Buttering me up before I die a horrible death.
Stop being such a drama queen!
This place gives me the creeps as it is.
Now will you please just-- AIDAN: You all right?
[screaming]
Shh!
What was that?
I don't know.
Who gives a fuck?
Maybe Jamie saw a spider or something?
Keep moving!
Go!
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be up there keeping Dixie.
It's gone dark.
No one's about.
Thought I'd come down to check if everything's all right.
It's fucking sick in here.
Does no one listen to a fucking word I say?
Hey, a bit jumpy, aren't you, for a leader of the pack?
A bit screamy?
I don't like dark, wet holes.
It's not a crime.
There's almost too many retorts I could make.
Someone's here.
What are you on about?
There's a fucking bed.
He'll be here for the heat off the pipes.
Probably some lazy bastard workman from years ago.
Probably him.
You have to listen to them.
They're not half bad.
That's not the point.
The point is we have no control and she's exposed.
JACKSON: Exposed to what?
The real world?
BILLY: You owe me a fucking fiver.
I want me fucking fiver.
But you'll find my family owns this fucking pub.
Put it on the tab.
But I thought--
You're not paid to think, are you?
Leave the thinking to me, yeah?
You better shut up or you get out.
Fuck off, bitch.
Hope you've not come in here for a ruck.
No.
Why would I do that?
Everyone in here is kicking off tonight.
Must be something in the air.
No, I'm not here for a ruck.
Been ages since I had a good ruck, or a bad one.
[laughs]
BOTH: White wine.
[arguing from the vent]
RUBY: What's out here? [slam]
SHANE: Shh! [crash]
Lovely.
Shut the fuck up.
Hey, shut the fuck up!
Shut the fuck up!
FRANK: What?
You just said it.
Yeah, but I didn't mean for you to shout
"You shut the fuck up" to them.
Well, make your fucking mind up.
[music playing]
[door opening]
SECURITY GUARD: (SINGING) Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside of me
say I really don't think you're strong enough.
Oh no, no.
Oh, no.
[zipper]
Oh.
[masturbation sounds]
Why are they taking so long?
SECURITY GUARD: Oh, oh, oh, oh.
[heavy breathing and grunting]
[sighs]
Fuck me.
A fair bit of salty yogurt got slung then, didn't it?
RUBY: You sniffing me? SHANE: Oh, yeah.
I'm a regular little ass sniffer.
What took you so long?
SHANE: A security guy came.
Did he see you?
RUBY: No.
Well, I fucking hope not. JAMIE: Whoa.
What are you doing?
You can't make the second trip.
We've only got 45 minutes before the next shift change.
We can make it.
All right.
Strictly 30 minutes, yeah? - OK.
Well, you're first this time.
I'll ogle your arse.
FRANK: Oh!
Fucking hell yes.
Ancient porn.
Eh.
Oh, fuck me!
Circle of life.
Huh?
Shine your bell-end on that.
If I'm not mistaken, there's a young lady
in here with an overly-developed affection for vegetables.
How would you know?
How do think it got here?
Yeah.
35 years ago I was a horny little devil,
not unlike yourself-- bigger penis, obviously.
Oh, there you are!
Trudy from Wigan.
The whole cucumber?
Yeah.
There's a pineapple on the next page and not the tinned kind
either.
Go on, knock yourself out.
Frank!
We're all supposed to be in this together.
FRANK: Holding a fucking gun to me head?
I told you I didn't want to come!
Hey!
Ah!
Whoa!
Fuck!
You nearly killed us!
Oh well.
On your own head, be it.
- Get down! - Oh my!
[rumbling and crashing] - Shit!
Get out! [screaming]
Ahh!
Fuck!
Ah!
[rumbling]
Turn back.
RUBY: What?
Turn back! RUBY: Fuck!
- Get back! - Stay calm!
Whoa!
[screaming]
Go!
[crashing and rumbling]
Oh!
Frank!
[loud rumbling]
[music playing]
[coughing]
AIDAN: What happened?
[coughing]
What the fuck do you think's happened?
[coughs]
Cover your mouth.
[coughs] Oh!
Fuck!
Help me clear this stuff away.
We should be able to find a way through.
AIDAN: [coughs] Give it here.
[coughing]
[rumbling and crashing]
RUBY: [screams]
You all right?
RUBY: I don't know.
I can't move my legs!
Yeah, my-- my-- - All right.
Hold on to me!
Get a move on!
Oh!
Argh!
Whoa!
Fucking hell!
It's going to bring the whole thing down!
There's got to be another way out!
- [coughs] - Fucking hell.
Fuck.
[coughs]
What the fuck's happened?
Frank's tried to do a runner.
He's brought down a couple of supports.
[coughs] The whole shaft's collapsed.
Well, we aren't getting out that way.
[coughing]
What the fuck happened to Frank?
He's faking it.
Jamie, he looks dead.
[gasps and coughs] What the fuck?
Told you.
I was not faking it.
Any joy?
[sighs] Nothing.
SHANE: Me neither.
Nor me.
You know I don't believe in mobile phones.
Fucking cancer.
What are you doing?
Listening out for emergency services.
It's been ages.
They should be onto us by now.
Certainly hope not.
We're breaking the law, son.
The filth catch us down here it won't be soup and blankets
they're handing out, it'll be a long stretch in Strangeways--
for me, anyway!
So what is the exit strategy then, dear leader?
Me?
FRANK: Yeah.
You're the one that dangled the carrot for the greedy few.
You used the stick on me.
Oh, this is on you--
all of it.
[hum of lights turning on]
Oh!
Built to last, these places.
So what are we facing here?
Mimi sent me. I'm supposed to help Jamie out.
Help Jamie do what?
Never ask a man about his business, Karen.
Well, if I meet a man, I'll bear that in mind.
Help Jamie do what?
It's collection day.
Jamie's not here.
Well, can I have the books then?
Mimi will want me to--
I will do it.
[laughs] Fuck off.
You're his grandmother.
And your his mother.
You should be looking after him yourself.
Um, I've got business.
Oh, yeah.
So you have.
Going to go all gangster but the childcare arrangements
didn't suit.
Oh, listen to you--
"childcare".
Have you learned a new language?
Fine.
I'll ask somebody else.
See you later, love.
Unbelievable.
It's not a lot of food, is it?
Should've brung more, just in case.
That would have required a degree of planning,
forethought.
No one can hear you scream down here, you know?
I didn't want to be here, I was fritzled.
Who brings rubbers to a robbery?
Not me.
I always go bareback.
What?
If I was a bloke, you'd be patting me in the back right
now, calling me a stud.
Yeah, good for you.
Equal rights for slappers.
Just because I have that doesn't mean--
FRANK: No, no, no. Don't go off--
We're going to have to adapt to our environment.
Everything around is as a potential resource.
What for?
Food, water, air, warmth.
We have no idea how long we're going
to be down here for so we need to conserve what we've got.
Split between the five of us?
We'll starve!
No, no, four.
I can go three days without sustenance.
Only when you're pissed.
We've got no booze left.
You drank it all.
What?
Is-- no-- is that it?
SHANE: I don't want any.
I'm not starving, anyway.
I'd sooner have none than a little.
Remove the option, trick your gut.
You're my fucking hero.
When the need arises, shit in a bag,
otherwise we could find ourselves in real trouble.
Can't you have the pink one?
KAREN: You be a good boy for Auntie Gloria, OK?
You all right?
Jamie's been a prick.
Bit of fallout.
Well, what's happened? Hasn't hit you, has he?
No, he wouldn't dare.
But he didn't come home last night.
Maybe he's seeing someone.
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
Jamie loves you.
Yeah, well, he makes me wonder sometimes.
Yeah.
I know, can't live with, can't bury them in quicklime
and go to Vegas on the insurance money.
[laughs] You sure this is a good time to go banging on doors,
demanding money?
Yeah.
Work off a bit of frustration.
Well, take someone with you.
SHANE: There's five of us, three from the same family--
including you-- all gone at the same time.
They've got to notice.
Yeah, someone must know, right?
I mean, he's married.
Surely you would--
Ah-ah.
He's by the book.
Hero of his own life story.
Tell no one, need to know basis.
Ask him if you want
You're not one for the pillow talk, are you?
[sighs] I'll get there.
I'm still getting used to this.
I might not be around for a few days.
You don't have to answer to me.
Yeah, I know.
It's just uh, well, it's a big job.
Want you to know these things, that's all.
Keep talking, I'm listening.
50 feet underground.
It's going to be a four-man crew more's the pity.
But I've got no choice.
RUBY: Jamie.
Jamie.
What?
RUBY: There's definitely no chance that you said something
to anyone about where we are?
Karen maybe?
No.
I'm by the book.
I, uh--
I'm sorry.
It is about the support and not the outcome.
Fair weather parent, are you?
Support it when the going is good.
She smashed it-- a big success.
That's brilliant!
Oh, you're happy now, are you?
179 hits.
179!
Stick that in your pipe!
179 hits in 24 hours.
It's humiliating.
What?
LETITIA: We tweeted thousands of people and only 179
of of them bothered?
They're all laughing at us. We're shit.
I fucking knew it!
Keep the dream alive, shall we?
Oh, baby!
I'll have this as well.
Put it on the tab.
[laughs]
What?
I'm making a stew, you dirty-minded buggers.
Rough day?
KAREN: You could say that.
Jamie's away.
I'm doing his collections, except Mimi
doesn't think I'm up to it.
Who are you calling on?
It's Thursday, Mr. Quinn--
collection day.
Fuck off, tart.
Every twat, they look at me like they want to fuck me,
or fuck me up, or sometimes both.
Well, I might be able to help.
You know, I'm in the family now.
Working in here, you know everyone.
You'd be amazed at what you get to know about people.
This could be your lucky day.
[music playing]
SHANE: (WHISPERING) Be quiet, otherwise they'll hear us.
Don't move.
Look at the size of it and it fucking stinks.
We get stuck down here in this fucking den.
[quiet chatter in distance]
Is there any point in that?
There's every point.
It's still money.
AIDAN: You got any winners?
What's with all the fucking questions?
[music playing]
CHESNEY (VOICEOVER): I keep my mouth shut and ears open.
It's amazing what you can learn.
This bloke's always drunk by now because he
works the night shift.
Picks up a bottle of gin on the way home.
Walk right in and take the money.
Fat Dennis' granny is always there.
He comes in to buy fig rolls for her.
But she's old school; she'll make sure he pays.
Thursday?
CHESNEY (VOICEOVER): And that ginger twat
tries to grope my knackers by the deep freezer every Saturday
shift for four years.
Three hours, four figures.
Not to shabby.
Make the money work for you.
Oh, no.
That's too much.
Well, like you said, you're in the family now.
You've earned it.
All right, Lillian.
Having a bit of bread with your stew?
Oh, no.
This is going up the shitter.
Yesterday's batch is always the best.
Well, it's not my shitter, of course.
Personal and professional. Don't get confused.
Cheers, Ches.
PATTY (VOICEOVER): You're going to get caught.
JAMIE (VOICEOVER): Don't you trust me?
You think I'm out cheating on you, fucking around?
PATTY (VOICEOVER): You're going to lose everything.
GLORIA (VOICEOVER): You don't have
to answer to me I'm listening.
[tapping]
[music playing]
[knife sharpening sounds]
JAMIE (VOICEOVER): Fucking around.
PATTY (VOICEOVER): Lose everything.
FRANK (VOICEOVER): Take it easy, then.
[laughing]
You got something to fucking say?
What?
You want to fucking go, do you, eh?
Get the fuck off me!
Fuck the lot of you!
LETITIA (ON VIDEO): You've been watching Deja Vu, Andre.
Nice one, big chap.
Good on you.
Your daughter, knockout.
Thank you.
I like to think so.
MIMI: 37,000 hits!
Sorry?
BILLY: I've got a semi hemi.
Me. What?
They're kids!
Only a semi.
Let me see your phone.
[music playing]
GLORIA: Yeah, she's like me-- never pushed a buggy before.
[laughs] How's she doing?
Well, she's not doing her school work
now because she's too upset.
She's humiliated.
Ladies, Do you think that's humiliating?
Somebody's been fucking about Letitia's video.
No!
What is that?
Oh my god!
Is that a penis?
Somebody's doctored it. Get
That's disgusting!
Ooh, and it actually looks like he's sticking it up.
It really does look like they're naked.
Me phone!
Thank you.
GLORIA: Oh, no.
Oh, babies.
You all right?
Fantastic.
42,000 hits!
And that's not even my You'll boobs!
We're famous, apparently.
Apparently it wasn't about the music.
GIRL: I can't believe it!
What have you done to my daughter?
Me?
GIRL: We're so famous!
We should do a calendar.
Tasteful, like, just tit and total Hollywood!
My tits, they look great!
I could be a porn star!
GIRL: Just shut up!
Come on.
How'd you get on?
I'm not a natural.
It was about as much fun as you think.
Chesney came with me.
Nothing from him.
He'll turn up.
Thanks again.
Bye.
Something you need to tell us?
No.
Well, that woman-- your friend--
is worried.
Well, she should really talk to her husband about that.
Hiya!
VOICEMAIL VOICE (ON PHONE): Leave a message,
we'll give you a call.
Please leave your message after the tone.
[dialing]
Hmm, cheer up.
Whatever happened?
[phone ringing]
Brilliant.
Seeing as you're asking.
Pulled in every payment and then some.
Even got compliments on my friendly approach
when they realized I'm no mug.
Piece of piss, really.
Oh, come on.
At least let me rub your faces in a little bit.
- There's a problem. - Fuck off.
I did a good job.
No, not with you.
They're all missing.
Who?
All of them.
Jamie, Shane, Ruby, Aidan, Frank.
Patty thought Frank was up to something with Aidan.
When she came round here, we realized they was all together.
He's still a child.
So forgive our lack of congratulations
about your success but we've got other the things on our minds.
Well, where?
We've asked everyone we can think of.
So if he hasn't told you, then we are fucked.
[rumbling and creaking]
Excuse me.
[music playing]
[zipper]
[peeing sounds]
[sighs]
[music playing]
[zipper]
MIMI: It's like when a kiddie's being snatched,
or some poor girl's gone missing,
or a killing's happened.
Somebody always knows something.
Now's your chance.
Come forward, and we all go and fetch our loved ones,
say no more about it.
GLORIA (VOICEOVER): You don't have to answer to me.
JAMIE (VOICEOVER): Yeah, I know that.
It's just, uh-- well, it's a big job.
I want you to know about these things, that's all.
Keep talking, I'm listening.
50 feet underground--
Fucking men.
It's always got to be about them.
What am I doing?
Look at me, I'm shaking.
This has got to stop.
MIMI: Then hear this--
and I'll say it quiet so you know I mean it--
if I find anyone's been holding out,
or if something should happen to any one
of those five souls lost out there,
then permanent damage will be done.
JAMIE (VOICEOVER): All creatures have three basic needs--
eat, defecate, fornicate.
If I had my time again, if I get the chance, all I want
is to live.
[music playing]
SHANE: Please, Ruby.
I'm begging you.
No.
Not even if you were the last man on Earth.
All right, well, if them were all dying
and I was the only survivor.
OK.
I'll tell you what.
If you can suck your own knob, I might consider it.
Oh, self-fellating.
You dirty cow.
You know I'm up for a challenge.
[zipper]
[grunting]