1 00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:02,433 [harmonizing chimes] 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,333 [glass clinks] 3 00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,400 Anyone watchin', thinkin' we know fuck 4 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,767 all about knowing fuck all about owt, 5 00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:12,067 needs to watch their backs. 6 00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:13,533 [wheels clicking] 7 00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:16,100 So you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk, sending 8 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,367 prices sky-high, literally. 9 00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:21,333 Literally taking the grass from its own roots. 10 00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:24,167 And Now you've got your "ConDem Naton," 11 00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:28,000 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up! 12 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,867 Have we had a national fucking stroke, or what? 13 00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,733 Is revolution a word? 14 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:34,967 [booms] 15 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,500 Or was it never? 16 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,600 Anybody watching needs to know, we cope better than average 17 00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,267 with irony in Chatsworth. 18 00:00:41,367 --> 00:00:44,967 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester, 19 00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:47,800 and they charge us for water. 20 00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:52,300 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found. 21 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,733 This green and pleasant land in ancient time-- 22 00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:56,700 Fucking bastard! [barking] 23 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:57,867 Yak-yak-yak! Yak-yak-yak! 24 00:00:57,967 --> 00:01:02,233 Yak-yak-yak! It's not theirs anymore. 25 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:03,900 This is our England now. 26 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:04,833 Party! 27 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:05,933 [pop rock music] 28 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,800 CHORUS: (SINGING) Na, na, na, na! 29 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:14,200 [monitors beeping] 30 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:17,500 (VOICEOVER) There was a lad in our school 31 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,100 called Deano, hard little bastard, 32 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,800 from a long line of hard little bastards. 33 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:26,400 One day at school assembly, we were 34 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:31,600 told he'd been knocked over and was in a coma, and we cheered. 35 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,900 Everyone cheered. 36 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,067 And the teachers said nothing. 37 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,633 They hated the fucker just as much as we did. 38 00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:47,367 But when he eventually came back to school, he changed. 39 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:50,200 Vincere two years he'd sat his GCACs and passed the lot. 40 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,567 Only one in the school that did. 41 00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:58,133 [monitors beeping] 42 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:09,100 [classical piano music] 43 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,067 [wincing] 44 00:02:34,367 --> 00:02:38,000 [distant sirens wailing] 45 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,400 [keys jingling] 46 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,800 [switch clicks] 47 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,767 [electricity buzzes] 48 00:03:01,867 --> 00:03:03,767 [distant voices] 49 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:04,733 Hello? 50 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:08,333 [voices murmuring] 51 00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,133 Patty? 52 00:03:14,233 --> 00:03:16,200 What the fuck are you doing? 53 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:20,467 (LOW PITCHED) What the fuck are you doing? 54 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,133 Ask what? 55 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,567 I don't like this. 56 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:27,633 (LOW PITCHED) That's not a question. 57 00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:28,567 Try again. 58 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:29,733 I don't want this. 59 00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:30,833 Why am I here? 60 00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,867 I've already given your answer. 61 00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:34,633 No you haven't. 62 00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:40,600 (LOW PITCHED) Walk the fuck are you doing? 63 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,200 [buzzing] 64 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:43,933 Fuck! 65 00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:45,100 [screams] 66 00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:49,133 What the feck ye doin' out hospital? 67 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:50,333 What are you doing here? 68 00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:51,867 I work here. 69 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:53,167 No you don't. 70 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,000 I think you'll find I do, what's left of it. 71 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,433 Oh, fuck. 72 00:03:57,533 --> 00:03:59,167 All right, cuz. 73 00:03:59,267 --> 00:04:01,200 Good to see you back on your feet. 74 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,000 But where am I supposed to live? 75 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:03,900 Where's Uzma? 76 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,867 Glasgow. 77 00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:06,167 Sends her love. 78 00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:07,767 Everything's going to be all right. 79 00:04:07,867 --> 00:04:10,033 With decorating the spare room at granddad's for you. 80 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,833 We've got a little job lined up too. 81 00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:13,867 All that time I was in the hospital, 82 00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:15,233 what, you been planning this? 83 00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:16,900 Yeah, no wonder I didn't get any fucking visitors. 84 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,900 Sorry mate. 85 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,267 I was going to drop in tonight. 86 00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:21,500 I Been Mad busy gettin' this place on the market. 87 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,167 Yeah, doesn't grandad usually take care of that? 88 00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:25,867 He's in Pakistan. 89 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:29,067 [cell phone r&b ringtone music] 90 00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:31,000 [beeps] 91 00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:33,600 Hiya, grandad. 92 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,533 How was the wedding? 93 00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:36,700 Oh, lovely, that. 94 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,100 Try not to think of this as something ending. 95 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,833 Think of it as something just about to begin. 96 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:46,267 [tremolo flute music] 97 00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:53,567 If I was shipwrecked on a desert island with him-- 98 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,367 I would. 99 00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,767 Well, I think he's nice for his age. 100 00:04:57,867 --> 00:04:59,067 He's a good-looking man. 101 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,233 He's a good looking ex-priest. 102 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,467 He'll smell of incense and communion wine. 103 00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:05,700 The guilt'd dry me up. 104 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,767 What do you think, Karen? 105 00:05:06,867 --> 00:05:08,100 [music - a-ha, "take on me"] 106 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,567 There's only one man for me. 107 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:12,467 He's the best looking man on the Chatsworth. 108 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:13,633 What do you think, G? 109 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,500 is too pretty for my taste. 110 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,467 [dissonant music] 111 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,800 Oh, he's embarrassed. 112 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,567 [laughter] 113 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,733 Hey, that's a side I've never seen before, Mr. Maguire. 114 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,367 Go 'ed, son! 115 00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:26,733 White wine? 116 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:32,267 [flute music] 117 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:35,633 Mad busy I've had to service a couple myself; 118 00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:37,167 the kid with the granny fixation, 119 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:39,367 the bloat with the runny eyes and the Labrador. 120 00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,033 Well, what was it you wanted to see be about? 121 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,767 I need you to come back, Kel. 122 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:44,133 We're run off us feet. 123 00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,600 Business doing well then? 124 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,667 Yeah, but the hours go against the European Work Time 125 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:51,000 Directive We still need help. 126 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,900 [laughs] 127 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,400 We need some new recruits! 128 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:58,000 You can't advertise for 'em in the evening news. 129 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,033 You'll be arrested! 130 00:05:59,133 --> 00:05:59,933 His soliciting. 131 00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,600 Says "massage services." 132 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:05,133 "Back-door experience essential, girl-on-girl 133 00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,767 required, as and when." 134 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,567 We need staff, and we need 'em now. 135 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:12,133 The girls haven't even been for a wax. 136 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:14,100 Their fannies are like welcome mats. 137 00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:20,733 [cheering] 138 00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:24,567 Hey, welcome back to the land of the living, Ches. 139 00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:25,500 On the house. 140 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,867 [cheering] 141 00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:27,800 Just Chesney! 142 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:28,700 [disappointed groans] 143 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:29,633 Boo! 144 00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:30,800 [hissing] 145 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,233 Must've terrified the life outta ye. 146 00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:34,333 A bit of a wake-up call, yeah. 147 00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:35,867 I'll have to pay out now. 148 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:37,467 I was doing a book on you. 149 00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:40,700 Jonesy won the lot, over a hundred quid, as well. 150 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,167 How come? 151 00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:43,433 Well, he was the only one that thought you'd make it. 152 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,000 - Good to see you, Ches. - Top man, Ches. 153 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,367 Top man. 154 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:48,000 Rest of us thought you were coming home in a box. 155 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,400 Take no notice. 156 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,833 His mouth's wired directly to his ass. 157 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,067 We've all been worried about you. 158 00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:54,267 Run off our feet with the new business, 159 00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:55,600 or we'd've dropped by the hozzy. 160 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,800 We did call, but of course we weren't related. 161 00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:58,700 Won't tell us much. 162 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,867 We miss the shop, Ches. 163 00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:02,867 So we're having to do it online now. 164 00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:04,267 Dom pointed out we were all paying 165 00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,567 a fiver to have food delivered to each of our houses. 166 00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:10,600 So now we put in one massive order, deliver two here, 167 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,333 entire drop for a fiver. 168 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,833 You oughta see the points we collected on the loyalty card. 169 00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:15,767 [laughs] 170 00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:17,033 Loads of messing, though. 171 00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:19,233 Soon to be shopping at yours, Ches. 172 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:21,467 So when are you opening back up? 173 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,500 I'm just a Paki in a corner shop to you lot, aren't I? 174 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,433 Don't be daft. 175 00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:26,800 You're hardly even in the shop. 176 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:30,333 [dramatic flute music] 177 00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:35,667 I was wondering when I'd get you on your own. 178 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,133 - Sorry? - Let me finish up. 179 00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:38,067 I'll walk you home. 180 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,500 There's no need. 181 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,700 Well, it'll give us a chance to talk about, you know-- 182 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,633 Jamie, seriously. 183 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,900 Gloria? 184 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,867 C'mon then. 185 00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:51,267 Your carriage awaits. 186 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,033 [distant sirens] 187 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:06,767 [suspenseful music] 188 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:13,333 You selling up? 189 00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,233 Grandad. 190 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,533 Well, not like you had much choice, in my humble. 191 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:25,000 [thuds] 192 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,867 Come 'ere. 193 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,600 You hear that? 194 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,567 A monster approaching. 195 00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:39,000 A supermarket, dropping its offspring in every 196 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,933 postcode in the country. 197 00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:45,200 Soon, you'll be standing in its shadow, 198 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:48,667 too big for you to fight, and having 199 00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:51,267 stuffed cash in the back pocket of every councillor 200 00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:54,100 up and down the land, too well-connected for you 201 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,667 to challenge. 202 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:59,133 It'll raise its big monster foot, bring it down. 203 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:04,067 And you and your shop will be gone. 204 00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:07,533 Just a memory. 205 00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:09,433 I remember when my dad first bought this place. 206 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:12,933 Hey, you're not facing a firing squad. 207 00:09:13,033 --> 00:09:15,400 War's over. 208 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,867 Walk. 209 00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:19,733 You're free. 210 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:21,267 Yeah. 211 00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:24,100 I am. 212 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,200 Thanks, Frank. 213 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,567 Cheers. 214 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,967 Give us a hand. 215 00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,067 Knees fuse after a while. 216 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,567 Got viewings organized today, mate. 217 00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:50,100 We'll not make too good an impression 218 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,700 with your undies and jizz mags all over the place. 219 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,600 Hmm? 220 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:54,567 Personal stuff. 221 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,000 Removal van's booked. 222 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:57,867 Need this place empty by Thursday. 223 00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:00,367 Gas and lecky'll be cut off a week Friday. 224 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,500 Asked them to forward me the bills at base. 225 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,600 Base? 226 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,033 Granddad's 227 00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:06,833 Bradford? 228 00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:08,067 [thuds] 229 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,467 Box what you want. 230 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,400 Bin what you don't. 231 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,967 Nice little shop lined up for you in Bradford. 232 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:15,900 Loads of old people. 233 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:16,800 [shimmering] 234 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,100 Not too much stress. 235 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,100 Keep your head down, and you'll reap the rewards. 236 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,133 [shimmering] 237 00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:22,733 [punches, kicks swiping] 238 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,000 Hi-yah! 239 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,700 Hi-yah! 240 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,600 TOOF: And in a few years' time, if you play your cards right-- 241 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,500 [upbeat music] 242 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:38,333 Sure, I'll tell grandad you're on your way. 243 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:41,000 No. 244 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:45,600 Tell him thanks, but no thanks. 245 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:49,200 [pop rock music] 246 00:10:53,133 --> 00:10:54,967 Thank you very much, Father. 247 00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:56,133 Bless you too. 248 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,567 The Community Center's all yours. 249 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:05,133 Not being funny, but why you are auditioning hookers? 250 00:11:05,233 --> 00:11:06,733 To see if they're right for the job. 251 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,000 And surely possessing a fanny makes them right for the job. 252 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,500 There's a bit more to it than that. 253 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,100 Well, we all know how easy it is to get a man off. 254 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,867 What you have to ensure, Ruby, is 255 00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:19,133 that you not only get him off, but you 256 00:11:19,233 --> 00:11:21,267 get him back, time after time. 257 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,900 Some sort of brand loyalty? 258 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,667 More often than not, you're giving a man 259 00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,067 what he doesn't get at home. 260 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:29,700 And that can be a combination of a million things, 261 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,900 Don't try and pass off what you do as some sort 262 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000 of psychological balancing act. 263 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,933 You fuck for money 264 00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:38,633 He might crave intimacy. 265 00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:39,633 Give it. 266 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,867 A straightforward selfish fuck? 267 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,633 Give it. 268 00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:44,567 To talk? 269 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:45,967 Let him. 270 00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:50,100 He might want you to tell him it's the best you've ever had, 271 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,467 and you've been repulsed by everything he's done. 272 00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:55,867 Get the men, get their money, get them out. 273 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:56,833 It's all about profit. 274 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,767 It's all about the moolah. 275 00:11:58,867 --> 00:11:59,833 And not much else. 276 00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:01,000 [laughs] 277 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,833 It's not exactly skilled labor, is it? 278 00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,300 Says the voice of experience. 279 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,233 You see, you don't need to be in your line of work 280 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:08,767 to know what a man's looking for. 281 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,367 Market research. 282 00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,500 So who really knows their ass from their elbow. 283 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:17,700 Yeah, all right. 284 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:18,633 You're on. 285 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,433 [upbeat synthesizer music] 286 00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:22,933 I was having a discussion with a friend. 287 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,433 Well, I say discussion. 288 00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:25,200 I mean argument. 289 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,567 And I say "friend." 290 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,333 Actually, she's just some see slapper that I know. 291 00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:30,633 But we were just wondering-- 292 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:34,267 --exactly what it was men look for in a woman. 293 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:38,567 Experience tells me men crave tenderness! 294 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:41,500 A little bit of affection. 295 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,367 After a good spanking. 296 00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,967 Obviously a man knows exactly what he's after. 297 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,567 And it ain't chitchat. 298 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,900 He can get that from his ma. 299 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,333 If she wasn't dead. 300 00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:54,733 See, I think all men like a spot of courtin', a bit 301 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,133 of getting to know you, a nice bit 302 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,333 of talk, just to melt the ice. 303 00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:02,233 Men are driven directly by their baser instincts. 304 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,367 Evolution's taught them, you get in quick, you drop your DNA, 305 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:08,333 and then you go off to the next egg to be fertilized, ASAP. 306 00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:10,200 It's a bit of a cliche, innit? 307 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,867 Well, cliches are rooted in truth. 308 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:14,933 Well, does that truth apply to the Madonna-whore argument? 309 00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:17,533 No, because that is a bit simplistic. 310 00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:18,700 That's just obvious. 311 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,400 What do you reckon, Mimi? 312 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,767 Are all women mothers or scrubbers? 313 00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:24,467 I like to think I'm a bit of both. 314 00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:32,733 Get I can get a ton-20 online. 315 00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,633 Then Then go online. 316 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,400 All right, 30 it is. 317 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,467 Class traitor. 318 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,300 Capitalizing on the misery of folk 319 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,200 forced to sell their possessions to make ends meet. 320 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,600 Hey! - Stop nicking my stuff! 321 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,500 Hey! 322 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,833 [grunting] 323 00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:47,700 Get off! 324 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:48,633 Is me SIM in? 325 00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:52,267 What the Folks a SIM? 326 00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,700 Oh, you're never getting rid of poor old Larry, are you? 327 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,567 Colin, how many more times? 328 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,900 We can't take livestock. 329 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,467 We simply don't have the facilities. 330 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:02,867 [pony whinnies] 331 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:03,767 Oh! 332 00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:04,867 [neighing] 333 00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:05,767 Sorry, Larry. 334 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:06,700 [flute music] 335 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,100 [pony whinnies] 336 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,433 [sign creaks] 337 00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:13,567 WOMAN: I've got it! (SINGING) I'm every woman. 338 00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:16,633 It's all in me! 339 00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:20,167 Anything you want right now, I'll give it naturally. 340 00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:21,733 Just a little list of thing I wanted to do. 341 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:25,200 Not mad things, little dreams I had when I was a kid. 342 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,800 I've always dreamed of having a threesome. 343 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,733 Been there. 344 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,067 Done that. 345 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:32,133 Twosomes, threesomes, young women, old women. 346 00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:33,500 - Mother-daughter. - Mile high. 347 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,433 Pissed up. 348 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:35,500 Drugged up. 349 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,167 - Fucked up, tied up, - indoor, outdoor. 350 00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,600 Front door, back door. 351 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,333 Oh, back door. 352 00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:44,233 Hey, I can help you out with that one easy enough. 353 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:45,567 And I can cover that one, mate. 354 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,867 Yeah. [cheering] 355 00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:47,767 MIMI: Ches! You're up! 356 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:48,767 [cheering] - Singing? 357 00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:49,800 A 358 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:53,867 First time for everything, Mike 359 00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:55,100 I've got to see this. 360 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,200 [indistinct chatter] 361 00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:59,200 One! Two! 362 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:00,567 Three! 363 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,367 Ugh! (SINGING) My baby don't mess around because she loves 364 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:07,300 me so and this I know for sho'. 365 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,433 Ugh! 366 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,800 But does she really wanna but can't stand 367 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,767 to see me walk out the do'? 368 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:20,033 Don't try to fight the feelin', cos the thought 369 00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:23,100 alone is killing me right now. 370 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,700 Sing with me now! 371 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:25,800 CHORUS (SINGING): Huh! Hey-ya! 372 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,367 [music - outkast, "hey ya!"] 373 00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:28,200 Yeah! 374 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,767 On top of the world! 375 00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,167 [horn honks] 376 00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:33,167 Stick your helmet on, you mad bastard! 377 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,733 OUTKAST: (SINGING) Hey-hey-ya! 378 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,733 Hey-ya! 379 00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,000 Oi! 380 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,033 OUTKAST: (SINGING) You think you've got it. 381 00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:43,333 What the fuck are you doing?! 382 00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:44,533 OUTKAST: (SINGING) Oh, you think you've got it. 383 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:45,533 [laughter] 384 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:46,700 (SINGING) But got it just don't get 385 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:47,100 it till there's nothing at all. 386 00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:51,100 We've been together. 387 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,633 Oh, we've been together. 388 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:57,467 But separate's always better when there's feelings involved. 389 00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:02,067 If what they say is, "nothing is forever," then what makes-- 390 00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:04,633 then what makes-- then what makes then what 391 00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:06,067 makes-- love the exception? 392 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,800 So why-oh, why-oh, why-oh, why-oh, why-oh 393 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,800 are we so in denial when we know we're not happy here? 394 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,333 Y'all don't want to hear me, you just want to dance. 395 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,333 [shrieking] 396 00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:20,900 (SINGING) Hey ya! 397 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,833 [cheering] 398 00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:26,100 [whistling] 399 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,700 I did not know you had that in you, mate. 400 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,133 Neither did I. It's got me thinking about stuff 401 00:16:31,233 --> 00:16:32,600 I'd like to do as well 402 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,333 Go on. 403 00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:36,067 Well, like swimming with dolphins. 404 00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:37,133 That'd be cool, wouldn't it? 405 00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,067 Or jump out of a plane. 406 00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:40,233 That could be arranged. 407 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,933 I think he means with a parachute. 408 00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:44,300 Shit, if we're talking dreams, aren't we? 409 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,567 Things you'd like to do if other things weren't in our way. 410 00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,767 Exactly. 411 00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:49,933 Like getting a bit of back-door action off Mimi. 412 00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:52,100 Same again, - lads? 413 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,000 Yes, mate. 414 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,533 Can I just have-- ugh! 415 00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:55,767 [thuds] 416 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:56,767 [MUSIC - WHAM! 417 00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:58,400 "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO"] 418 00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,900 Shit. 419 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,967 Me purse is gone. 420 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,200 You're kiddin'. 421 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,767 Me purse is gone. 422 00:17:04,867 --> 00:17:06,100 [bell rings] 423 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,967 Is there a tea leaf in 'ere?! 424 00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:09,667 ALL: Yes! 425 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,933 MIMI: You know what I mean, you gang of smart asses. 426 00:17:12,033 --> 00:17:14,800 [suspenseful music] 427 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,500 Fuck. 428 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,167 Good day? 429 00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,400 Fucking blinding, as it goes. 430 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,067 I think I've got maybe half a dozen people 431 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,300 that take the pleasure serious. 432 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,400 Yeah, spoke to a few myself. 433 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,333 You know, the young and limber ones. 434 00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,933 I have clients I've known for 10 years. 435 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,067 I wasn't even in high school 10 years ago. 436 00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:37,967 Bet you still gave a good blow job though. 437 00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:41,467 [electric guitar music] 438 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:47,400 [knocks on door] 439 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,300 You are joking, Jamie. 440 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,567 Drinks are on me next time I'm in. 441 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:04,833 I owe you an apology. 442 00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,300 For not calling. 443 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,933 If your application's successful, 444 00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:10,933 I'll supply the condoms and lube. 445 00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:14,267 And all you have to do is lay back and think of Lytham St. 446 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:15,533 Anne's. 447 00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:19,700 Look, it was just a fuck. 448 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,467 Nothing more, and nothing less. 449 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,533 [toilet flushes] 450 00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:29,433 (WHISPERS) It's Dom. 451 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,000 [footsteps upstairs] 452 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,333 [unzipping] 453 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,700 [moans] 454 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,267 [lustful groaning] 455 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,200 [moaning] 456 00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:27,133 [heavy breathing] 457 00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:00,067 [exhales] 458 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,633 [classic rock music] 459 00:20:02,733 --> 00:20:04,833 So I'm not bothered about a job just yet. 460 00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:08,733 Y'know, I want to enjoy myself for a bit. 461 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,800 What's that? 462 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,800 Oh, please don't, Karen. 463 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,533 Where'd you get the photo? 464 00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:17,200 It's ancient. 465 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,933 Lip gave it me, years back. 466 00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,300 Who for? 467 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,867 Me? 468 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:24,233 Or Wendy? 469 00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:26,833 Both Look, I was 12. 470 00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:29,167 KAREN: God, I was young. 471 00:20:29,267 --> 00:20:32,300 Can I borrow this? 472 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,567 Me and Carl used to say we'd ask the both of you out. 473 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,000 Cinema, pizza. 474 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,267 Hey, Wendy'd still be up for that. 475 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,600 I'll give her a bell. - No. 476 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:43,700 Fuck it. 477 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,733 Yeah, yeah. Call her. 478 00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:47,100 That'd be brilliant. 479 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,733 What you stuck this in with, Ches? 480 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:49,700 [flute music] 481 00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:59,667 What you doin', having a shower at this time? 482 00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:01,833 Oh, I spilt a load of ale over myself in the cellar. 483 00:21:01,933 --> 00:21:03,067 Oh, I'll put your clothes in the was. 484 00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:05,067 I've done it. 485 00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:07,633 Getting very domesticated in your old age. 486 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:11,233 Yeah, well, I'm in my prime, me. 487 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,767 Thinking about getting my hair cut. 488 00:21:12,867 --> 00:21:15,333 What do you reckon? 489 00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:17,133 D'you approve? 490 00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:19,367 Yeah, blonde's good. 491 00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:20,267 Mm. 492 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,667 Mm. 493 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,200 I'll take that as a yeah. 494 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:33,700 [surf rock music] 495 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,067 [flute music] 496 00:21:35,167 --> 00:21:38,567 [percussion and strings music] 497 00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:40,500 Hey! Hey! 498 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,467 Nice, Ches. 499 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,267 What's that? 500 00:21:43,367 --> 00:21:44,900 I'm sensing there's a woman involved. 501 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,133 Not just a woman. 502 00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:47,933 Woman of his dreams. 503 00:21:48,033 --> 00:21:50,300 Yeah, his wet dreams. 504 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,567 Girl I had a crush on years back. 505 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:53,267 I've been carrying a bit of a torch for her. 506 00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:55,967 Well she's agreed to accompany me on a date. 507 00:21:56,067 --> 00:21:57,700 Wine, dine. - 69 508 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,633 [laughs] 509 00:21:59,833 --> 00:22:01,467 Nah, I want to do this properly. 510 00:22:01,567 --> 00:22:02,400 Nice meal-- 511 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,133 Candlelight. 512 00:22:03,233 --> 00:22:04,067 Bit of a chat. 513 00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:05,467 Exactly. 514 00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:07,733 The last time we seen each other, we were kids. 515 00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:09,600 Now you're all grown up. 516 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,733 Quick one before she turns up, Ches? 517 00:22:17,933 --> 00:22:19,067 Bit of fluff there. 518 00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:22,233 Oh, cheers, mate. 519 00:22:22,333 --> 00:22:23,200 So? 520 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,833 I hope she's worth all this effort. 521 00:22:25,933 --> 00:22:27,133 Yeah man, she's lovely. 522 00:22:27,233 --> 00:22:30,233 You know, I just can't believe she said yes. 523 00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:31,933 That why you're so nervous, eh? 524 00:22:32,033 --> 00:22:33,300 Yeah, it's a big deal. 525 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,000 Just want to get it right. 526 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,333 Of course you do. 527 00:22:37,433 --> 00:22:40,467 I've waited years for this. 528 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:41,467 All my fucking life. 529 00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:45,867 Aye, aye. 530 00:22:45,967 --> 00:22:49,400 [r&b music] 531 00:23:04,233 --> 00:23:08,700 Father Craig said they were waiting in here. 532 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,267 [indistinct chatter] 533 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,900 Bloody hell. 534 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,467 I knew jobs were thin on the ground, but this is ridiculous! 535 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,200 You sure everyone's in the right room? 536 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,367 Can I just ask, is everyone here to see Lilian Tyler? 537 00:23:25,467 --> 00:23:27,267 Is that for the auditions for the whoring? 538 00:23:27,367 --> 00:23:28,267 [gags] 539 00:23:29,433 --> 00:23:30,367 Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. 540 00:23:30,467 --> 00:23:31,933 There's a big market for GILFs. 541 00:23:32,033 --> 00:23:32,833 [gags] 542 00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:34,200 You'll be old one day. 543 00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:35,600 Right, let's get down to business. 544 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,267 [baby crying] [coughing] 545 00:23:37,367 --> 00:23:40,033 Can everyone under 25 go to the right, please? 546 00:23:40,133 --> 00:23:43,300 Everybody over 25, to your left! 547 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,167 Bus passes, Zimmers and arthritics to the back. 548 00:23:46,267 --> 00:23:49,700 [indistinct chatter] 549 00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:53,200 [flute music] 550 00:24:02,367 --> 00:24:04,467 Look, I don't know what's going on here, but-- 551 00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:06,467 Nothing's going on. 552 00:24:06,567 --> 00:24:07,667 We can't do this. 553 00:24:07,767 --> 00:24:09,067 It was a mistake. 554 00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:10,200 That happened twice. 555 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:13,900 (WHISPERS) That won't happen again. 556 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:14,900 Do you know what, Gloria? 557 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,967 I'm not that fucking desperate. 558 00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:20,467 Not even a ham shank on the way home? 559 00:24:20,567 --> 00:24:22,133 [smacks] Ugh! 560 00:24:22,233 --> 00:24:23,100 Wasn't about that. 561 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,367 This was about romance. 562 00:24:24,467 --> 00:24:25,467 Right, Ches? 563 00:24:25,567 --> 00:24:27,367 [shimmering] 564 00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,500 [flute music] 565 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,467 You know how to do things properly, Ches. 566 00:24:32,567 --> 00:24:35,467 You've grown up into a lovely little gent. 567 00:24:35,567 --> 00:24:37,267 It was about getting to know each other, 568 00:24:37,367 --> 00:24:39,033 seeing if you got more in common than just 569 00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:40,300 a physical attraction. 570 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,300 Small talk. 571 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,633 That one should never have been allowed 572 00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,167 within 10 feet of a school. 573 00:24:45,267 --> 00:24:47,767 He were a fuckin' letch. 574 00:24:47,867 --> 00:24:49,767 Knicker sniffer. 575 00:24:49,867 --> 00:24:51,300 [squishes] 576 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:52,400 [slurps] 577 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,833 So you forked out for a three-course meal, 578 00:24:54,933 --> 00:24:56,367 wine, and a cab. 579 00:24:56,467 --> 00:24:58,100 If I'd laid that amount of cash out, 580 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,233 I'd be wanting something in return. 581 00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:00,433 You know what I mean? 582 00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:02,333 It wasn't really that kind of night. 583 00:25:02,433 --> 00:25:05,833 You're the fittest guy I've been with all month. 584 00:25:05,933 --> 00:25:06,800 Month? 585 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:07,767 [moans] 586 00:25:07,867 --> 00:25:09,667 We need to get you home. 587 00:25:09,767 --> 00:25:10,700 No, my dad's in. 588 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,600 We can't. 589 00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:12,533 It's OK. 590 00:25:12,633 --> 00:25:13,533 Here'll do. 591 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,900 [unzips] 592 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,467 [retches] 593 00:25:19,567 --> 00:25:20,867 [puke sloshes] 594 00:25:20,967 --> 00:25:24,833 (SLURRED) Must have been a dodgy prawn. 595 00:25:24,933 --> 00:25:26,133 Know what? 596 00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:29,667 I dreamt of being with that girl so many times. 597 00:25:29,767 --> 00:25:32,867 It could never live up to your expectations. 598 00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:35,633 Happens to us all. 599 00:25:35,733 --> 00:25:37,133 Bad timing. 600 00:25:37,233 --> 00:25:40,167 Thought I'd find you here, with your drinking cronies. 601 00:25:40,267 --> 00:25:41,967 You left that in the shop. 602 00:25:42,067 --> 00:25:42,900 It looked important. 603 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,700 [piano music] 604 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,533 I'm done with this. 605 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,033 [paper crumples] 606 00:25:54,133 --> 00:25:56,233 Same again, chaps? 607 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:57,133 Yeah. 608 00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:05,200 [WHISTLING MELODY OF OUTKAST'S "HEY YA!"] 609 00:26:06,033 --> 00:26:07,367 [thuds] 610 00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:12,500 [electricity powering down] 611 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:16,067 [distant voices] 612 00:26:21,567 --> 00:26:22,933 [creaks] 613 00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:24,433 Fuck me! 614 00:26:24,533 --> 00:26:27,667 (LOW-PITCH VOICE) I won't fuck you, if it's all the same. 615 00:26:27,767 --> 00:26:29,800 Look, I haven't got a question. 616 00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:32,333 (LOW-PITCH VOICE) No, but I have. 617 00:26:32,433 --> 00:26:35,400 What kind of man are you going to be? 618 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:39,033 One who squeaks, Or one who roars? 619 00:26:39,133 --> 00:26:40,467 [clicking] 620 00:26:40,567 --> 00:26:41,633 [door creaks] 621 00:26:45,033 --> 00:26:46,000 Hiya. 622 00:26:52,433 --> 00:26:54,333 [whirring] 623 00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:08,767 Well, it was certainly entertaining. 624 00:27:08,867 --> 00:27:11,133 Can you tell me a bit about yourself sweetheart? 625 00:27:11,233 --> 00:27:14,067 Oh, I'm a community policemen during the day, 626 00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:16,067 trying to earn a few extra bob at night, really. 627 00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:17,733 It'd be great for the locals. 628 00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:21,400 But would it appeal to the international market? 629 00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:23,133 Have you got anything else you can show us? 630 00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:39,967 Looks nice, Karen. 631 00:27:40,067 --> 00:27:41,500 Don't you think, Jamie? 632 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:42,533 Yeah, lovely. 633 00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:43,800 You haven't even looked. 634 00:27:47,567 --> 00:27:50,933 Why didn't you tell her she looked lovely, soft lad? 635 00:27:51,033 --> 00:27:52,433 Cos I'd be lying. 636 00:27:52,533 --> 00:27:55,867 Well, if you can't lie to your wife, who can you lie to? 637 00:27:55,967 --> 00:27:57,267 Flowers. 638 00:27:57,367 --> 00:28:00,533 One fuck-off bunch of roses, and a big fat apology. 639 00:28:00,633 --> 00:28:01,500 Heartless bastard! 640 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,067 [SUSPENSEFUL FLUTE AND PIANO MUSIC] 641 00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:11,233 The living accommodation will give you a good return 642 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:13,267 on your investment. 643 00:28:13,367 --> 00:28:16,233 There's masses of potential for the shop. 644 00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:18,967 I'm thinking now, wall-to-wall sunbeds, 645 00:28:19,067 --> 00:28:20,833 maybe a spray-tan machine. 646 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:23,000 Plenty around here in need of a tan. 647 00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:25,433 And not just the fellas. 648 00:28:25,533 --> 00:28:26,400 [door closes] 649 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:35,467 Not a clue, unlike you. 650 00:28:35,567 --> 00:28:38,533 Y'know, people just need a little shop selling basics, 651 00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:39,500 stuff you've run out of. 652 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,233 Essentials. 653 00:28:41,333 --> 00:28:43,400 And who needs more than that. 654 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:44,833 Life's too short. 655 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:46,233 Hmm. 656 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:47,433 Exactly. [distant sirens] 657 00:28:47,533 --> 00:28:48,367 [whooshing] 658 00:28:48,467 --> 00:28:49,367 [birds chirping] 659 00:28:49,467 --> 00:28:50,633 I look like I've been hang gliding. 660 00:28:50,733 --> 00:28:52,033 [sighs] 661 00:28:52,133 --> 00:28:54,767 Seriously, Karen, you need to go back to the salon. 662 00:28:54,867 --> 00:28:56,333 Especially what they charged you. 663 00:28:56,433 --> 00:28:57,700 They should put it right. 664 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,533 What, I didn't pay 'em. 665 00:28:59,633 --> 00:29:00,800 I refused to. 666 00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:02,267 Try to force me. 667 00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:03,900 Said me feller'd come down and torch the place if they 668 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,233 gave me any more hassle. 669 00:29:05,333 --> 00:29:06,967 Is that what he said? 670 00:29:07,067 --> 00:29:08,133 He's not bothered. 671 00:29:08,233 --> 00:29:09,667 Mardy-arsed bastard's got his glaze 672 00:29:09,767 --> 00:29:10,567 in a twist for some reason. 673 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:11,500 [knocks at door] 674 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,667 DOMINIC: I'll get it! 675 00:29:13,767 --> 00:29:14,967 [sighs] 676 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:17,133 Oh God, I don't want him to see me like this. 677 00:29:17,233 --> 00:29:20,300 I don't want anybody to see me like this. 678 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,567 Please, G, can't you get me back to some sort of normality? 679 00:29:25,667 --> 00:29:26,467 Thank you. 680 00:29:26,567 --> 00:29:27,400 [door opens] 681 00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:28,167 Gloria? 682 00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:30,967 These are for you. 683 00:29:31,067 --> 00:29:32,833 New fella? 684 00:29:32,933 --> 00:29:34,867 Never said. 685 00:29:34,967 --> 00:29:36,200 Nothing special. 686 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:40,633 DOMINIC: You've obviously made an impression. 687 00:29:40,733 --> 00:29:42,933 Cheers. 688 00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:45,100 Him upstairs is giving you a second chance 689 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,600 and what are you doing with it? 690 00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:49,467 Propping up the bar with someone old enough to be your dad. 691 00:29:49,567 --> 00:29:50,633 Oh, thanks, Mimi. 692 00:29:50,733 --> 00:29:52,200 I'm not knocking it. 693 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,933 If you're going to go, go happy. 694 00:29:54,033 --> 00:29:55,800 That's what I'm saying. 695 00:29:55,900 --> 00:29:58,067 I'm going to do something, Mimi. 696 00:29:58,167 --> 00:29:59,533 The plans I've heard from fellas 697 00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:03,500 sat where you are, Ches, going to conquer the world. 698 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:08,433 Not one of them even got as far as the end of the M62! 699 00:30:08,533 --> 00:30:10,200 Who's paying? 700 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:13,633 Here, I'll get this. 701 00:30:13,733 --> 00:30:14,600 Here you go. 702 00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:16,833 Ta. 703 00:30:16,933 --> 00:30:18,533 I need to-- I need to go. 704 00:30:18,633 --> 00:30:20,033 I've gotta do somethin'. 705 00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:25,733 MIMI: Stunning. 706 00:30:25,833 --> 00:30:27,500 Absolutely stunning. 707 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,500 Give us a twirl. 708 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,733 Looks good. 709 00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:30,933 Beautiful. 710 00:30:31,033 --> 00:30:32,400 Yeah, thanks to Gloria. 711 00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,200 Now, that's what I call an apology. 712 00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,967 Hmm, they're off G. Some shag she's had. 713 00:30:37,067 --> 00:30:39,300 Banged him twice, and it's all red roses 714 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,700 and when can I see you again? 715 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,633 Ugh, how pathetic are some fellas? 716 00:30:45,933 --> 00:30:49,400 Contact the family solicitors and get the contracts drawn up. 717 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:50,767 Forget your tannin shop idea. 718 00:30:50,867 --> 00:30:52,000 It won't work. 719 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,033 Look, no one's got the cash for sunbeds. 720 00:30:54,133 --> 00:30:56,067 Only reason he's telling you otherwise, so he can get 721 00:30:56,167 --> 00:30:57,567 shot of this place, and back to Bradford. 722 00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:58,500 [phone rings] 723 00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,467 What's it to you? 724 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:01,133 [beeps] 725 00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:03,567 You've got this all wrong, Ches. 726 00:31:03,667 --> 00:31:05,200 it's not about us and you. 727 00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:07,267 That's how it's coming over, Toof. 728 00:31:07,367 --> 00:31:10,333 I want you to come home with me. 729 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:11,933 I need you to see something. 730 00:31:12,033 --> 00:31:15,467 [piano music] 731 00:31:18,533 --> 00:31:20,067 First place we had? 732 00:31:20,167 --> 00:31:22,200 Flat over a chippy. 733 00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:24,767 Stunk of fish and grease. 734 00:31:24,867 --> 00:31:27,567 Do you know what I mean? 735 00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:31,100 Then one day, granddad picks us up from the shop, 736 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,333 brings us here, hands us the keys. 737 00:31:34,433 --> 00:31:37,467 He were that pleased with the graft we put in. 738 00:31:37,567 --> 00:31:38,800 Rewarded us with this. 739 00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:44,100 I know he can be a pain in the ass. 740 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,000 Work him to your advantage, Ches. 741 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:48,133 I'd dream of somewhere like this. 742 00:31:48,233 --> 00:31:49,367 Could be yours. 743 00:31:52,267 --> 00:31:55,033 That's the point really, Toof. 744 00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:56,233 It couldn't. 745 00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:59,000 Y'know, just like it'll never be yours. 746 00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:00,300 Step out of line, you'll be back in that 747 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,533 flat over the chippy in no time. 748 00:32:01,633 --> 00:32:02,600 No. 749 00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:03,967 Oh, I saw how he used to treat dad when 750 00:32:04,067 --> 00:32:05,233 he wasn't doing as he was told. 751 00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:08,067 There's always going to be a boss, always 752 00:32:08,167 --> 00:32:10,133 someone telling you what to do and how to do it. 753 00:32:10,233 --> 00:32:12,133 Not for me, there isn't. 754 00:32:12,233 --> 00:32:14,633 I'm going to buy the shop. 755 00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:16,500 You can't do it in your own. 756 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,433 No. 757 00:32:20,967 --> 00:32:21,933 But I'll die trying. 758 00:32:22,033 --> 00:32:25,500 [ambient symphonic music] 759 00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:34,000 [wind howling] 760 00:32:36,500 --> 00:32:39,800 [loudly knocking] 761 00:32:40,867 --> 00:32:44,333 [distant sirens] 762 00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:49,267 Go on, fuck off. 763 00:32:56,967 --> 00:33:00,333 [phone ringing] 764 00:33:01,367 --> 00:33:02,400 OPERATOR (ON PHONE): Please leave 765 00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:03,667 your message after the tone. [tone] 766 00:33:03,767 --> 00:33:04,567 It's me. 767 00:33:04,667 --> 00:33:06,567 I need to see you. 768 00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:07,467 [sighs] 769 00:33:07,567 --> 00:33:08,733 Look, I'm sorry. 770 00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:10,367 I didn't mean to offend. 771 00:33:10,467 --> 00:33:13,567 This sort of thing, it's not my usual bag. 772 00:33:13,667 --> 00:33:15,667 It's confusing. 773 00:33:15,767 --> 00:33:17,067 [sighs] 774 00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,500 Just call me, please. 775 00:33:23,833 --> 00:33:25,833 What the fuck are you looking at?! 776 00:33:25,933 --> 00:33:27,833 [grunts] 777 00:33:27,933 --> 00:33:31,400 [piano music] 778 00:33:33,467 --> 00:33:36,367 [cheering] 779 00:33:44,667 --> 00:33:46,467 I'll tell you something odd, and this 780 00:33:46,567 --> 00:33:47,767 is going to sound weird. 781 00:33:47,867 --> 00:33:49,900 But I had this dream last night, and you came in here 782 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,167 and you played out this dream. 783 00:33:52,267 --> 00:33:53,100 It's unbelievable. 784 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,633 It's totally unbelievable. 785 00:33:54,733 --> 00:33:55,700 Fuck. 786 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,400 MAN: We want to live that dream. 787 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,633 We're doing this for us family. 788 00:33:59,733 --> 00:34:03,733 We want to give them a better life, a decent home, a future. 789 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:05,233 We've got four kids. 790 00:34:05,333 --> 00:34:08,033 We're saving for college fees for the brightest. 791 00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:10,433 It's a speciality act, and a good one. 792 00:34:10,533 --> 00:34:13,200 I see a bright future for you two. 793 00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:14,833 But where's the art?! 794 00:34:14,933 --> 00:34:15,767 Eh? 795 00:34:15,867 --> 00:34:18,133 Where's the originality? 796 00:34:18,233 --> 00:34:21,267 Says she who thinks "legs akimbo" is in the Kama Sutra. 797 00:34:21,367 --> 00:34:23,100 This is my game, kid. 798 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,467 You might've had a few knee-tremblers along the way, 799 00:34:25,567 --> 00:34:27,200 but I am an ar-teest. 800 00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:29,500 No, you are stuck in your ways because you've 801 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,533 been at it for too long. 802 00:34:30,633 --> 00:34:32,833 And you've not been at it long enough. 803 00:34:32,933 --> 00:34:33,967 You know what? 804 00:34:34,067 --> 00:34:35,267 You're past your sell-by date, love. 805 00:34:35,367 --> 00:34:36,200 [splashes] 806 00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:37,033 [gasps] 807 00:34:37,133 --> 00:34:38,600 CROWD: Ooh! 808 00:34:38,700 --> 00:34:39,600 [dog barks] 809 00:34:39,700 --> 00:34:42,600 [keyboard music] 810 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,100 Suits ye. 811 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:45,167 You look lovely. 812 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:49,433 I'm sorry. 813 00:34:49,533 --> 00:34:52,667 Are you going to tell me what's up? 814 00:34:52,767 --> 00:34:55,233 I'm just bored. 815 00:34:55,333 --> 00:34:56,200 Of me? 816 00:34:56,300 --> 00:34:58,667 Of us? 817 00:34:58,767 --> 00:35:01,567 Of this place. 818 00:35:01,667 --> 00:35:03,467 I wake up here. 819 00:35:03,567 --> 00:35:07,600 I work here, eat here, sleep here. 820 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:09,100 I'll live and fucking die here. 821 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,033 The same four walls'd drive anyone 'round the bend. 822 00:35:16,033 --> 00:35:19,433 You are more important than any of this. 823 00:35:24,133 --> 00:35:25,767 Now, let's get a smile back on that face. 824 00:35:25,867 --> 00:35:29,333 [slow-tempo classical music] 825 00:35:30,833 --> 00:35:32,133 I love you. 826 00:35:32,233 --> 00:35:35,700 [slow-tempo classical music] 827 00:35:46,133 --> 00:35:48,933 I've managed to convince her to come back. 828 00:35:49,033 --> 00:35:51,633 I miss the funny accent, if I'm honest. 829 00:35:51,733 --> 00:35:52,833 Fuckin' skin her! 830 00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:55,200 Can we not aim for a bit of decorum? 831 00:35:55,300 --> 00:35:58,067 We've got people's futures in our hands. 832 00:35:58,167 --> 00:36:01,300 Hopes, dreams, ambitions. 833 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,567 Hmm. 834 00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:03,467 Decision time. 835 00:36:03,567 --> 00:36:04,567 Hmm. 836 00:36:04,667 --> 00:36:06,133 Well, I think we can lose woman with a cock. 837 00:36:06,233 --> 00:36:07,033 It's a man with tits. 838 00:36:07,133 --> 00:36:10,033 It's just confusing. 839 00:36:10,133 --> 00:36:12,667 RCPA'll kick off. 840 00:36:12,767 --> 00:36:13,900 Vacuum man were interesting. 841 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,967 Perfect, if you want a good ramming. 842 00:36:16,067 --> 00:36:18,167 A looker, but a bit obvious. 843 00:36:18,267 --> 00:36:21,500 Yeah, when you pay good money, "obvious" is what you want. 844 00:36:24,133 --> 00:36:25,600 Our final four. 845 00:36:25,700 --> 00:36:27,033 The librarian from Burnley? 846 00:36:27,133 --> 00:36:28,767 This went on a vote, Lillian. 847 00:36:28,867 --> 00:36:30,733 Who told you this were a democracy? 848 00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:32,533 I want him and all. 849 00:36:32,633 --> 00:36:33,467 [sighs] 850 00:36:33,567 --> 00:36:34,433 Why? 851 00:36:34,533 --> 00:36:36,500 Reminds me of little Bobby Davro. 852 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,700 Bobby only has to smile to get me wet. 853 00:36:47,267 --> 00:36:49,667 You must have savings or money put 854 00:36:49,767 --> 00:36:51,567 aside for you, for the family? 855 00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:52,867 Nope. 856 00:36:52,967 --> 00:36:54,867 Every penny I've got went on buying the fittins back. 857 00:36:54,967 --> 00:36:58,067 My fittins, my shop. 858 00:36:58,167 --> 00:37:01,067 All that matters is, I'm going to do it. 859 00:37:01,167 --> 00:37:03,100 Well, determination for its own sake 860 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,667 can be very admirable, but-- 861 00:37:04,767 --> 00:37:07,367 Like that Japanese guy who kept fighting World War 862 00:37:07,467 --> 00:37:12,467 II till like, 1976 or summat. 863 00:37:12,567 --> 00:37:13,300 What? 864 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,467 It finished in ages before that. 865 00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:19,800 [beeping] 866 00:37:22,767 --> 00:37:23,567 It's my cousin. 867 00:37:23,667 --> 00:37:25,800 Wants to know the plan. 868 00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:27,667 What is the plan? 869 00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:29,667 That failure is not an option. 870 00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:32,333 I could have a word, you know? 871 00:37:32,433 --> 00:37:35,033 No, I mean, I could have a word with the family about money. 872 00:37:35,133 --> 00:37:36,767 Your cousin could come, if he's worried. 873 00:37:40,533 --> 00:37:42,967 You've never gave a toss about the shop in the past. 874 00:37:43,067 --> 00:37:45,567 So why would we believe that you do now? 875 00:37:45,667 --> 00:37:48,000 Things are different now. 876 00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:49,967 I'm different. 877 00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:54,533 What I need and what I don't, all different. 878 00:37:54,633 --> 00:37:55,933 We've got a pub to run. 879 00:37:56,033 --> 00:37:57,767 Well, I could get that place back in profit in three months. 880 00:37:57,867 --> 00:37:58,900 How? 881 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,100 Well, I'll stay open day and night, 882 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,267 work my fingers to the bone. 883 00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:06,167 I won't take a wage till we're in profit. 884 00:38:06,267 --> 00:38:09,700 You'd have access to the books 24/7. 885 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,733 And if he fucks up-- 886 00:38:10,833 --> 00:38:13,900 I won't fuck up. 887 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,667 All right, one condition. 888 00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:21,900 You call it Paddy's Market, after my dad. 889 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,533 No. 890 00:38:23,633 --> 00:38:24,933 It's my shop. 891 00:38:25,033 --> 00:38:27,933 I'm in there, in the bricks and the mortar, and you're not. 892 00:38:28,033 --> 00:38:29,267 Neither is your dad. 893 00:38:29,367 --> 00:38:30,067 Come on. 894 00:38:30,167 --> 00:38:31,200 What's in a name? 895 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:33,333 You're a Maguire. 896 00:38:33,433 --> 00:38:35,333 Would you let anyone take that away? 897 00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:38,867 [ambient symphonic music] 898 00:38:38,967 --> 00:38:42,433 [distant sirens wailing] 899 00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:51,333 [cell phone chimes] 900 00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:54,733 [beeps] 901 00:38:55,733 --> 00:38:58,667 [electric guitar music] 902 00:39:03,733 --> 00:39:07,167 [beatboxing] 903 00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:11,133 What the fuck are you doing? 904 00:39:11,233 --> 00:39:13,767 Me old little routine, mate. 905 00:39:13,867 --> 00:39:17,033 Oh, shit yeah, how did it go? 906 00:39:17,133 --> 00:39:18,933 I don't need them. 907 00:39:19,033 --> 00:39:20,500 Yeah, you're right, mate. 908 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,767 Do it all on your own. 909 00:39:21,867 --> 00:39:25,700 Mortgage, gas, lecky, council tax, VAT, no credit. 910 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,633 All that shit'd get a lesser man down, mate, but not you. 911 00:39:28,733 --> 00:39:29,933 You're a fucking superhero. 912 00:39:30,033 --> 00:39:31,400 [beatboxes] 913 00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:32,700 Do Asian people have superheroes? 914 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,833 Or is it just gods with loads of arms and stuff? 915 00:39:35,933 --> 00:39:37,100 That's Hindu. 916 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,433 I'm Muslim, duh! 917 00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:39,333 Fuck off. 918 00:39:39,433 --> 00:39:40,400 Whoosh! 919 00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:43,667 Hindus are only in fucking comics and that. 920 00:39:43,767 --> 00:39:44,800 I've got work, mate. 921 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:47,967 [beatboxing] 922 00:39:48,067 --> 00:39:50,500 I've never seen one with a bend like that. 923 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,733 Is it 90 degrees? 924 00:39:51,833 --> 00:39:54,967 It varies, acute and obtuse. 925 00:39:55,067 --> 00:39:56,000 Can fuck 'round corners. 926 00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:57,667 That's got to be an advantage. 927 00:39:57,767 --> 00:39:59,033 Kelly's right. 928 00:39:59,133 --> 00:40:01,367 No substitute for experience. 929 00:40:01,467 --> 00:40:03,000 Ruby has got a point though. 930 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:06,200 Gudrun has all the enthusiasm of a beginner. 931 00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:07,833 Amongst other advantages. 932 00:40:07,933 --> 00:40:08,767 Hindenburg. 933 00:40:08,867 --> 00:40:10,133 Bless you. 934 00:40:10,233 --> 00:40:11,900 She does make me laugh, that Ruby. 935 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,867 I can't understand a word she says, but I just smile and nod. 936 00:40:14,967 --> 00:40:16,167 I thought at least one of them would 937 00:40:16,267 --> 00:40:19,033 be here for the induction. - I've sent 'em out. 938 00:40:19,133 --> 00:40:21,300 Medical's my bag. 939 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:25,467 Speaking of which, would you bend over? 940 00:40:25,567 --> 00:40:27,067 [latex squeaking] 941 00:40:27,900 --> 00:40:28,767 [squelching] 942 00:40:33,133 --> 00:40:34,467 [exhales] 943 00:40:34,567 --> 00:40:38,000 I have to admit, some of your young and virile team 944 00:40:38,100 --> 00:40:40,100 were a fucking knockout. 945 00:40:42,633 --> 00:40:44,933 I can see why punters keep returning some 946 00:40:45,033 --> 00:40:46,633 of your more experienced heads. 947 00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:53,900 Don't poverty make people do kinky shit? 948 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,500 [gong music] 949 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,067 [flute music] 950 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,700 There's been an offer made on the shop. 951 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,033 Shit. 952 00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:11,533 [exhales] 953 00:41:11,633 --> 00:41:15,333 A bit of luck, I could've made something of this place. 954 00:41:15,433 --> 00:41:16,100 I'm sorry. 955 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,867 Nah, I'll grab my stuff. 956 00:41:19,967 --> 00:41:21,700 I turned the offer down. 957 00:41:25,433 --> 00:41:28,333 We'll have the deeds transferred first thing tomorrow. 958 00:41:28,433 --> 00:41:30,333 Grandad'll fucking kill ye. 959 00:41:30,433 --> 00:41:32,267 Don't let me down, Ches. 960 00:41:32,367 --> 00:41:33,067 [laughs] 961 00:41:33,167 --> 00:41:35,567 I will not let you down. 962 00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:36,700 No way will I let you down. 963 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,033 Thank you so fucking much. 964 00:41:38,133 --> 00:41:39,967 [door opens] 965 00:41:40,067 --> 00:41:41,967 Hey, love-in. 966 00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:43,367 I'm sorry to interrupt. 967 00:41:43,467 --> 00:41:46,300 So you're going to try to make a go of this place? 968 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,400 Yeah. 969 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,533 Well, in that case, you're gonna need these. 970 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,267 - For? - Them. 971 00:41:52,367 --> 00:41:54,167 We've gone with magnolia. 972 00:41:54,267 --> 00:41:55,133 Yeah, with magnolia. 973 00:41:55,233 --> 00:41:57,067 They only had magnolia. 974 00:41:57,167 --> 00:41:58,600 I like magnolia. 975 00:41:58,700 --> 00:41:59,967 I love magnolia! 976 00:42:00,067 --> 00:42:02,000 Could do with a few more rollers and brushes. 977 00:42:02,100 --> 00:42:02,967 Jamie, go on. 978 00:42:03,067 --> 00:42:04,233 Some in our loft. 979 00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,800 I'll give you a hand. 980 00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:10,333 [upbeat piano music] 981 00:42:12,267 --> 00:42:14,400 MIMI: No need to stand on ceremony. 982 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:18,567 I've checked on the internet, and this is all kosher. 983 00:42:18,667 --> 00:42:19,500 That's Jewish, Mimi. 984 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,667 - Lamb's Jewish. - Kosher's Jewish. 985 00:42:22,767 --> 00:42:24,033 Then what's lamb? 986 00:42:24,133 --> 00:42:24,933 New Zealand. 987 00:42:25,033 --> 00:42:27,000 Thought they were Welsh. 988 00:42:27,100 --> 00:42:28,967 Look, that's what this is all about? 989 00:42:29,067 --> 00:42:31,033 Never thought I'd hear myself say this, Ches, 990 00:42:31,133 --> 00:42:32,867 but you impressed me, mate. 991 00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:33,833 You show commitment. 992 00:42:33,933 --> 00:42:35,267 You can't buy that. 993 00:42:35,367 --> 00:42:37,500 Fuck knows we've tried. 994 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:38,633 Turnip? 995 00:42:38,733 --> 00:42:41,800 We wanna help you get back on your feet, mate. 996 00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:42,933 Go on. 997 00:42:43,033 --> 00:42:45,467 Mam? 998 00:42:45,567 --> 00:42:49,367 We sell dope from your place, maybe a bit of coke, 999 00:42:49,467 --> 00:42:51,867 and the money goes through the til. 1000 00:42:51,967 --> 00:42:53,300 Laundering? 1001 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,033 Well, we stay silent partners, take 10% of your profit. 1002 00:42:57,133 --> 00:43:00,000 And And discount at the till, a little one. 1003 00:43:00,100 --> 00:43:02,533 What's the catch? 1004 00:43:02,633 --> 00:43:03,933 There isn't one. 1005 00:43:04,033 --> 00:43:05,400 You've got no family around here, Ches. 1006 00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:11,400 So from now on, you're one of us, an honorary Maguire. 1007 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:14,767 And that offer's not extended to many. 1008 00:43:14,867 --> 00:43:17,533 So are you in? 1009 00:43:17,633 --> 00:43:20,567 Too fucking right. 1010 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,167 Welcome to the clan. 1011 00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:24,133 MIMI: Yes, cheers. 1012 00:43:24,233 --> 00:43:27,700 [pop rock music] 1013 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,633 [distant voice beckons, hissing] 1014 00:43:39,567 --> 00:43:42,000 (LOW-PITCHED) I suppose you're pleased with yourself? 1015 00:43:45,433 --> 00:43:46,467 Yeah. 1016 00:43:46,567 --> 00:43:48,933 (LOW-PITCHED) I always knew ye had it in ye. 1017 00:43:49,033 --> 00:43:50,967 No N didn't. 1018 00:43:51,067 --> 00:43:53,067 But I did. 1019 00:43:53,167 --> 00:43:55,033 (LOW-PITCHED) But that makes no sense. 1020 00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:57,133 I'm a figment of your imagination. 1021 00:43:57,233 --> 00:43:59,100 I'm after a quality of hallucination. 1022 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,467 [circus organ music] 1023 00:44:02,567 --> 00:44:05,733 [laughter] 1024 00:44:05,833 --> 00:44:07,467 All right? 1025 00:44:07,567 --> 00:44:09,367 (LOW-PITCHED) I put a curse on you! 1026 00:44:09,467 --> 00:44:11,333 [circus music] 1027 00:44:11,433 --> 00:44:13,333 [laughter] 1028 00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:16,733 [pop music] 1029 00:44:16,833 --> 00:44:19,133 MAN: (SINGING) No, no, no. 1030 00:44:19,233 --> 00:44:21,700 CHES (VOICEOVER): On reflection, I 1031 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,333 don't believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 1032 00:44:24,433 --> 00:44:26,800 No voice telling you to go back. 1033 00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:27,900 No, that's what I just said! 1034 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,700 Once your number's up, it's up. 1035 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:30,867 [knocks at door] 1036 00:44:30,967 --> 00:44:32,433 [ACOUSTIC MUSIC - OUTKAST, "HEY YA!"] 1037 00:44:32,533 --> 00:44:35,767 OUTKAST: (SINGING) My baby don't mess around, because she loves 1038 00:44:35,867 --> 00:44:36,867 me so and this I know fo' sho'. 1039 00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:40,133 CHES: So take a good look around. 1040 00:44:40,233 --> 00:44:41,433 Like what you see? Great. 1041 00:44:41,533 --> 00:44:42,367 Enjoy. 1042 00:44:42,467 --> 00:44:43,933 OUTKAST: (SINGING) Oh, but does she 1043 00:44:44,033 --> 00:44:45,100 really want but just can't stand to see me walk out that door? 1044 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,100 CHES: But if you don't, move on. 1045 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,667 And move on now. 1046 00:44:49,767 --> 00:44:51,133 No use settling for second best. 1047 00:44:51,233 --> 00:44:52,133 [pop rock music] 1048 00:44:52,233 --> 00:44:53,067 This ain't no rehearsal. 1049 00:44:53,167 --> 00:44:55,967 [pop rock music] 1050 00:44:56,067 --> 00:44:56,867 This is the real deal. 1051 00:44:56,967 --> 00:45:01,033 [pop rock music] 1052 00:45:10,933 --> 00:45:14,833 CHORUS (SINGING): Ba-ba-da-ba! 1053 00:45:14,933 --> 00:45:17,833 Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da! 1054 00:45:17,933 --> 00:45:20,833 Ba-ba-da-ba! 1055 00:45:20,933 --> 00:45:24,400 Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da! 1056 00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:26,833 Ba-ba-da-ba! 1057 00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:29,800 Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da! 1058 00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:32,233 Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba! 1059 00:45:32,333 --> 00:45:33,800 Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba! 1060 00:45:33,900 --> 00:45:38,367 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! 1061 00:45:38,467 --> 00:45:41,800 [pop rock music] 1062 00:45:52,233 --> 00:45:53,033 It's my bike. 1063 00:45:53,133 --> 00:45:54,200 I'm the bloke, clearly. 1064 00:45:54,300 --> 00:45:57,000 Winslet in front, DiCaprio behind. 1065 00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:57,933 I'm the bloke. 1066 00:45:58,033 --> 00:45:59,133 Fuck off. 1067 00:45:59,233 --> 00:46:00,233 I am the bloke. 1068 00:46:00,333 --> 00:46:01,900 How the fuck are you the bloke? 1069 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,400 [laughter] 1070 00:46:07,467 --> 00:46:09,033 I am the bloke! 1071 00:46:09,133 --> 00:46:09,933 Fuck off! 1072 00:46:10,033 --> 00:46:11,033 I'm the bloke! 1073 00:46:17,867 --> 00:46:20,733 [harmonic tones chime]