[chiming tones]
[glass clinks]
Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all about knowing
fuck all about owt, needs to watch their back.
Ow!
So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk,
sending prices sky-high, literally-- literally taking
the grass from its own roots!
Now you've got your Con-Dem-Nation, Liberals
noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up.
Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?
Is revolution a word?
Or was it never?
Anybody watching needs to know, we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester.
And they charge us for water!
I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found.
This green and pleasant land in ancient times.
Fucking bastard!
Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!
[barking]
It's not theirs anymore.
This is our England now!
Party!
[theme music]
(SINGING) Na, na, na!
[tambourine and bass music]
[swishes]
[MUSIC - RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, "CALIFORNICATION"]
(SINGING) --hard core soft porn.
[indistinct chatter]
[cheering]
[whistles]
Oi!
What?
Stopping off at your Mam's for a couple on the way.
Fuck me!
Atomic Kitten's let themself go a bit, haven't they?
[laughter]
MAN: Boo!
Just come home when the club shuts, eh?
You're on the early. - Yes, dad.
MIMI MAGUIRE: (VOICEOVER) The thing about mistakes is--
Taking your time then.
MIMI MAGUIRE: (VOICEOVER) You can't undo them.
You can repair them, patch them up, minimize the consequences.
But you can't undo them.
Fuck knows, I've made more than most.
And they define me.
Carry them with me everywhere I go.
True of us all. - Ladies!
[laughter]
Couldn't fuckin' catch you though!
MIMI MAGUIRE: (VOICEOVER) If it's any consolation,
there's not one of us skates through life without mistakes.
Well none of the interesting ones, any road.
Come on, Marty.
Shit!
Careful!
[scoffs]
Fuck!
Fuck a duck.
Hurry up.
Pound.
[ladder clatters]
Hold it steady.
Climb up straight and I will.
I've got 10 metres of cable 'round my beck.
It's not easy!
Arse wipe!
Fuckin' know hell, you nearly had my head off.
Stop messing about!
Electric's dangerous, dickhead.
MAN: Hey, guys!
Someone's coming!
Aidan!
[laughter]
Fucking hell.
Hold the fuckin' ladder!
Are you sure about this?
Look, can't pay, won't pay.
If we don't do this we've got no heating,
no fridge, no cooker, no XBox.
[cable zipping]
[sparks pop]
[gasps] - Oh yeah--
[popping]
Ow!
[laughter]
[glasses clink] - Ah!
Huh? - Ah!
--extended their value-- [booms]
WOMAN: Oh, my God, Eamon!
[zapping]
[dog barks]
MAN: What's going on?!
[distant shouting]
Oh shit.
[angry chatter]
All right, calm it!
Just blown a fuse, that's all.
I can lend you a Greek Euro for the meter.
[piano music]
[distant sirens]
[indistinct chatter]
Right, that's the last from the lock-up.
If you smell burning at any point, switch it off.
Oh, great.
House'll be on fire.
Mimi, all the lights are out and I've got Stella,
I just don't know what to do.
Straight upstairs, Tish.
Put her next to Cilla and Connor.
Whole area's pitch black, no street lights, nothing.
It's ridiculous!
Took 72 hours to restore power the last time.
Why do people say 72 hours?
Why don't just say two days?
"Rain Man's" got nothing on you, has he?
Who the fuck's "Rain Man?"
Right, Jamie's gonna stay open a bit,
until people can see the way home.
Oh yeah, proper Maguire.
Any chance to get a few extra coppers in your back pocket.
Er, I've not seen you turning down shifts, lady.
Out.
If-- if they're staying open, can we just--
Oh yeah.
Everyone fuck off.
I'll look after the ranch in the dark on me own.
[groans]
Girls, girls, maybe we don't go into town tonight.
Oh, don't cancel on my account.
I feel bad.
Well, but you can't see anything out there.
And in these fucking heels?
Yeah, we'd have to get a mini-cab in the dark.
Probably no power on in town anyway.
Yeah? - Another night then, ladies?
Right.
You go get some smokes.
I'll see you there.
Why do I have to go?
I'll clock you.
See if you can beat your best time.
Go!
Oh my god!
[laughter]
What a knobhead.
Hey, don't look at me. You married him.
Yeah, well, I've always had shit taste in men.
I married your father.
[suspenseful music]
Oh, fuck!
[pounding on door]
Fuck off!
I've got a weapon!
Ches, it's me!
Open up!
Fuck! Fuckin' hell, man.
I nearly shat myself.
Lock that door!
Always
Pack of smokes please, mate.
Quick time. - You what?
Hello earth to Chesney!
I'm on the clock, man.
Shane's timing me.
Well, I'm trying to save my stock.
I'm not open!
I'll help myself, leave the money on the counter.
I said no!
Fuckin' hell.
Fuck me, man.
Look, if I help you, would you let me have my cigs?
Get these in the fuckin' chest freezer and I'll give 'em you,
all right?
Hurry up!
[distant sirens]
Fuck's sake, Jackson.
[horn honking]
[shouting]
Fucking hell, boys, that were a lucky escape were that.
[laughter]
- At least we're not dry, girls! - Woo!
[cheering]
Actually, I'm gonna head 'round Lilian's.
[disappointed groans] - Oh, Kels.
Oh, shut the fuck up!
It's all the more for you, innit?
Walk her 'round lads.
It'll start getting ropey out there pretty quickly.
I'll go with.
Make sure you drop a trail of breadcrumbs
so you can find your way home.
Is this what it was like during the Blitz, Missus C?
What the feck would I know about the the Blitz?
Do I look as if I'm 112 years old?
Don't answer that, girls!
[laughter]
Ooh!
Right, the pumps are off.
So it's bottles and optics only.
And the tills are down.
So cash in hand, and no tick.
[disappointed groans]
It's the end of the night.
No one's got any money left.
You think I'm letting you lot fill up on a tab after dark?
Best got and get the lobotomy reversed, mate.
Jamie, that don't um--
strictly apply to family though, does it?
Especially family.
All right, stick this behind the bar
and see how far it gets us, eh?
Must be 150 notes here.
Us priests get a lot of stuff, including money.
It comes and goes.
It's not important.
Well, I will accept your drink.
But I don't trust you one little bit.
Thought your lot took a vow on poverty.
Yeah, well, that we do.
But y'know, I get a regular monthly stipend.
Y'know, I don't get much use for it.
Don't fucking cloud the issue with explanations.
it goes against nature, a man giving away money.
Hey, could you stick some tunes on?
It's like death in here.
What part of "power cut" don't you get?
Oi, what you doing?
We can't play Killer in the dark, can we?
Use your head, man.
[cheering]
Ooh!
Look what that bitch upstairs has done to my arse.
- Oh my-- - Have you seen this?
Oh my-- what's going on?
Black-out.
Brings out Brings out more horn in folk.
I mean, where's security, a night like tonight?
Went shopping.
Said he were going to get himself
a new telly and some trainers.
This is fucking madness.
And not the good kind.
We're on top of it.
Uh, where the fuck d'you think you're going with that?
I arrived with this.
It's mine.
It's the same one as we've got.
Cheers for the guard of honour.
I'm sticking around for a bit.
Mind if we stay?
Do what you want.
Just put it fucking down!
And so Terry McInally is the one I always think
of as the one that got away.
Ooh, God!
[laughter]
Give us one of them.
Well, I don't think I have one that got away.
Because I don't think I have ever been in love.
Oh, fuck off.
I was in love on a weekly basis when I was your age.
I've told you before, love and blow jobs, not the same thing.
[laughter]
What kind of women are you, bragging to anyone
who'll listen about how many men you've had between your legs?
Quite right, Patricia.
A woman's tickly bit is for childbearing only.
Anything else, it is (IRISH ACCENT) the devil's work!
Oh--
[laughter]
I'll tell you something.
We are for child-rearing, every one of us.
I've had seven kids.
And I'd have seven more if the clock was on my side.
Well, having kids is not for everyone.
Well, fucking should be.
What else are we here for?
I will second that.
Well, I can't go with that.
You don't have kids.
Well, how do you know that, eh?
I've been around a long time before I met you,
and I've still got a few years left in me.
[laughter]
And there's more to mothering than just squeezing one out.
It's not just biology.
It's practical stuff, circumstances.
Oh, what?
Giving babies away?
Don't get me started on them.
I am a mother.
And any woman who gives a baby away is beyond me.
I'm not having that.
I was adopted.
[lime squishes]
Oh, fuck.
What, so Dominic's not your brother?
He is my brother.
Same DNA, same biological parents.
Sorry, just--
You know what?
I could tell there was something about--
No, not him.
Just me.
Was born a year ahead of Dominic.
When he arrived, kept him, sent me out to adoption.
Off I went.
Now, there's a story worth cutting the feckin' power for.
[slow flute music]
[booms]
Get off me!
This is outrageous!
[keys jingling]
I want to talk to a fuckin' lawyer!
[couple moaning]
Great fuckin' hell!
I nearly laid an egg!
Didn't mean to startle you.
What are you doing in here?
I think I'm in here for a reason.
What the fuck is this place?
It's basements of the Council Buildings used to be
a jail in Victorian times.
All the cops shops were shut and no power--
Judas!
What did they get you for?
I was mugged!
Coming back from work, some scumbags thumped me.
Grabbed my purse, bag, jacket, everything.
[couple moaning]
So how come they arrested you?
I'm black.
They assume because of this and this, I must be a criminal.
[couple moaning]
You're not.
You've got of good soul.
I can tell.
[couple moaning]
How could she keep one and give the other away?
You'll have to ask her.
You never chased her?
Nah, I met her a number of times with Dominic.
But she made it quite clear she didn't give a shit.
No regrets.
You're a dark horse.
How long have I known you?
Some things are kept secret.
Well, not her.
I'm married to her son, and I could
tell you how often she changes the batteries in her vibrator.
[laughter]
Some people are just cold.
Never intended as mothers.
My best guess is that she's one
of the women who sees other women as competition, a threat.
Fuck off!
Her own daughter?
Dominic's a little prince.
Still is to this day.
I'm just some bitch she had the misfortune to give
birth to before he arrived.
Yeah, but you got on all right with Dom.
Yeah, he's fucked up in his own way.
But he's a good man.
[slow flute music]
Can't get my head 'round the mother keeping one
baby and giving another away.
How old was your Gloria then?
When she was adopted? 11 months.
Does that not bother you?
Of course it bothers me.
But I haven't got a time machine, have I?
[balls clink] - Oh!
Good shot!
[cheering]
Yeah, that's probably why she's such a hard-nosed bitch.
Hey, watch your mouth, Frank, all right?
I'm only speaking the truth.
She's a lovely girl, your sister.
Wrapped around the temperament of a Tasmanian devil.
[laughter]
No wonder she's 40, single, and got her brother for a lodger.
Fine.
I will watch my mouth.
Carry on!
[indistinct chatter]
Take to it!
No pressure.
[cheering]
Come here.
[cheering] - Hey!
Hey! Hey!
I don't fucking think so, mate.
Do you?
Try potting a fucking ball first.
- Truth or forfeit? - Fuck off.
Hey!
Well, don't fucking play, then! - All right!
Hey! Easy!
- Truth - Okey-doke.
Other than Avril, which woman have you
most recently had a wonk about, you dirty cunt?
[laughter]
Fuck off!
If you don't like the fucking If you don't
like the fucking question, you can always take the forfeit,
yeah?
Come on, speak the truth.
Your Ruby.
[laughter]
It's her fucking tits, man!
They're hypnotic!
[laughter]
I do know what you mean.
They kind of sit up all by themselves, don't they?
You know that.
But I don't even think she's aware of it, Jackson.
Your go, Frank.
All right, all right. Fucking hell.
Late for vespers, are we?
[laughter]
Oh, baby!
It's time, Frank.
You crossed the line.
Truth or forfeit?
Forfeit!
[cheering]
Are you fucking stoned?!
[synthesizer music]
[engines revving]
FRANK: I don't like him being exploited like this.
He's not a circus freak.
It's a fucking stupid forfeit, anyway.
Well, it's not so much a forfeit as a bet.
"The Hare and the Tortoise," It's the eternal question.
He's right.
It's a stupid bet.
I'm five paces from victory.
Then, demonstrate your superiority.
[lips smack]
[western music]
Yeah.
A little pre-race pick me up will see me just fine.
[sniffing loudly]
[laughter]
Oh!
Do I look like I want to be fucking whipped?
[indistinct chatter]
Sorry.
Boiled in your very own milk pan.
Red Bull for the wrinklies.
Excuse me.
Cocoa with 12 sugars.
Oh, I could do with a booster.
What?
Not you.
How did it come to this?
Keeping it together
You look like a mole with a kink.
It's a mess.
This fella's been waiting here two hours.
That bloke's got so fed up, he's gone home to shag his wife.
That's how desperate he's got.
I thought busy was good.
It's more than just a volume.
Size does matter, in every sense.
But in here it's about turnover.
Count 'em in, count 'em out.
The quicker the better.
There's not a man in here that I couldn't have shooting his load
in three minutes or under, from a standing stare,
because I'm a professional.
What are your lot doing upstairs, rolling
about in bed for an hour?
It's time to hang up the gusset, Trigger.
Put on the business suit.
Has anybody seen the paddling pool?
[sighs]
They don't teach us this in Sex Ed.
How do you think people end up like this?
Like what?
In rubber, in nappies, Scottish, S&M. I
mean, what's all that about?
Must've been a time when they were just like us.
Idiots like these put food on our table when I was little.
Mum brought a different bloke back every night,
usually sober enough to pay.
And what was it like?
I didn't know any better, so I didn't care.
And what about now?
Doesn't faze me.
Do me a favor.
Promise me you won't do any shit like this,
even when you get old.
[laughs]
[flute music]
[bars clanking]
Oi!
I insist on speaking to a legal representative!
Oh, good for you.
I'm proud ya.
Whatever happened to human rights?
Don't let it get under your skin.
(TICKS) Golliwog!
You fucking racist.
I'm not.
Your the one who planted the racist seed,
saying they arrested you because you were black. (TICKS)
Rubber lips!
I can't not say it.
So your Tourette's causes you to be racist?
No.
It's like, say I said to you, right now, big hairy arse,
you can't not see one.
In some cultures, it's a sign of genius.
[shouting]
[wood breaking]
Go on!
Open now, you little dickheads!
Well, you stay there, you little prick.
You're little shit-bags.
C'mon then!
[shouting]
Fucking what?
Come back!
What?!
Shut up.
Look, we don't really want them to come back.
What, you scared or summit?
Thought you did all body-building shit, man?
Yeah, I am scared.
Me and you, trapped here, in the Alamo!
Yeah, what you gonna do when they
throw a fucking petrol bomb through the window, eh?
Not with the price of petrol these days, mate.
Second it's not body building, it's body-sculpting.
I don't want big fuck-off "Terminator" muscles.
I'm a whippet.
But I'll be the perfect whippet.
Well, that's all sorted.
Why don't you come with us, man?
It'll be a fucking riot in The Jockey tonight.
No, yeah, you've got to guard the shop now, hadn't ye?
Yeah, chill and have a beer.
What do you want to be a little ferret for anyway?
Big muscles are fucking awesome. (GROWLING) I'm not kidding!
Not ferret, whippet.
Cheers.
Cheers, mate.
48, 48, 49, 49, 50, 50.
[grunts]
Light weights, rapid reps, minimal recovery.
It's cardio, oxygen to the bloodstream.
Exhale on the up.
[exhales]
Inhale on the down.
[inhales] Yeah!
It's about strength and stamina.
[belches]
I'm naturally fit, me, mate.
[breathing deeply]
Ugh!
See, it's not about fitness.
It's about control, yeah?
[exhales]
Nothing can fucking touch me.
[grunts]
[breathing sharply]
You haven't got any control.
Nobody has.
You're wrong.
I'm fucking right.
D'you think I don't know that you're laughing at me?
That everybody is?
[sniffs]
Fucking shame. (MOCKING) Oh, Billy, run to the shop.
I'll time ye.
Know what I mean?
I'm not a complete idiot, you know.
That's my role.
I don't have to accept it, but I do.
It keeps me warm, gives me grub. What's the alternative?
Be your own man.
[laughs]
Listen, I've got a wife who's got kids and grandkids, yeah?
I don't want to be me own man.
You're aiming low, mate.
Well, look at you!
What's this going to do?
Let you live three months, six months longer?
[laughs]
Says who, Manchester Man?
Fucking proud, mate!
Any exercise you can name, I'll take you, mate.
I'll take you. - Yeah?
Go on then, son.
Let's have you off that fucking bench, eh?
I am sorry.
[couple moaning]
I know what a bastard words can be more than most.
[laughs] [couple moaning]
Even when people don't say those words,
you know they're thinking them.
Every day.
It's exhausting.
You mustn't touch people.
They know not what they do
[couple moaning]
To the English, I'm this fuckin' "darkie,"
and to the Africans, I'm fucking English.
Jackson's mum, a proud Nigerian woman,
she thinks her son married beneath himself
cos I'm from the Caribbean.
My mum thinks I've hooked up with someone
from the dark ages cos he's only second generation.
I'm Tired of it.
[couple moaning]
Maybe that's my role, to bring people together with me words.
(TICKS) Clit-lick every trip!
What are you on about?
[couple moaning]
I could have died tonight.
I mean, enough electricity to a city.
Should've fried me.
didn't.
[couple moaning]
I think I've been saved for a reason.
[couple moaning]
I've been chosen.
GUARD: Fisher, Martin?
Front and center.
You're being release.
How comes he gets out.
GUARD: How the fuck should I know?
It's an order from above.
See?
[CHOIR SINGS "HALLELUJAH CHORUS"]
(SINGING) Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
[keys jingle]
Now, I'll be back to free you and all your people. (TICKS)
Uncle Tom!
Well, on behalf of "all my people," don't worry about it.
Jog on!
[couple moaning]
[jazz music]
Where's my fucking phone call?!
Oh, come on!
Time's running out, Jackson!
Oi! you're on the fucking baize!
Bastard.
Terry, how's Terry?
Moving at a lick!
Time to leap into action, then.
MEN (CHANTING): Terry! Terry!
[laughs]
What, something amusing our Vatican correspondent?
I'm a happy drunk, Frank.
The last days of Sodom!
[laughs]
Where's me fags?
[indistinct chatter]
[crowd laughing]
Oh, very fucking funny.
Oh!
We've got 10 seconds left man!
Come on!
[cheering]
CROWD: Whoa--oh, hey!
[thuds]
Oh, you-- fuck off!
Where's me coat?
Wherever you left it.
I hung it over the stool.
Then you must've moved it.
(SLURRED) I didn't fuckin' move it!
Someone's had ride my parka!
[echoing]
Sorry, mate-- no sign.
What-- well, just-- no, you don't.
It's-- it's not just a--
look, it's more than sentimental.
It's-- I'll sue!
For the value of a parka?
Here you are.
Call that a generous out-of-court settlement.
Oh yeah, it's all right for you,
innit, with your fucking pub and your wife and your dimples!
Hey, all my dreams come true, this.
Well, what the fuck have I got, eh?!
Once the lights come on, we'll find it.
Oh, there's been traffic in and out all night!
Could be anywhere by now!
What kind of fucking lock-in is it, anyway?
It's just a coat, mate.
No.
(SLURRED) I wore that coat the night that Fiona was born.
I was wearin' it the night she was conceived.
Now, I've lost two wives, Monica, Sheila, all me kids,
little Debbie, Lip, Curly Hair?
- Liam! - Liam!
The other one.
They've all deserted me!
Apart from Stella.
Apart from Stella!
That parka was me.
It's as part of me as a-- as an arm, or-- or a leg.
And--
[laughs]
It's who I am.
Where did you get it from?
Stole it off a striking miner on the bus.
[scoffs]
He were coming back from the Battle of Orgreave.
He'd had a skinful to numb the pain of the battering.
Could've took his wallet as well.
Didn't. - Oh, you're all heart.
[sighs]
[MUSIC - THE CARPENTERS, "CLOSE TO YOU"]
How will I recognize me?
KAREN CARPENTER: (SINGING) Why do birds suddenly
appear every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky every--
[record scratches]
Come on.
Let's you and me go and have a look for it, eh?
Never know, your luck might change.
Yeah maybe.
Thank you, Dominic.
Hey, look, Frank.
Turtle wins again.
[laughter]
[bell dings]
[laughter]
You're still at home.
[helicopter whirring]
[EXULTANT CHOIR SINGING IN LATIN]
[laughes]
(TICKS) Bless you.
[choir singing in latin]
[indistinct chatter]
I really admire her.
Fuck off.
I do.
Bold as you like, in control, organizing everyone.
Another time, another place, she would have been someone.
What's with all the makeup though?
Be back down in 15 minutes or less.
Hair-trigger discount applies, yeah?
[indistinct chatter]
The reason it's the world's oldest profession
is because it works.
Men are like them little David Attenborough
fucking monkeys that eat ripe fruit and tug themselves off.
They'd be at it day and night if they could.
Endless demand.
Doesn't mean we have to be sloppy or inefficient.
We get them in, bleed 'em dry, and get them out.
If We get organized, we could rule the world.
Is that you, Kelly?
You are the only person I have ever met where
only one sense works at a time.
And so Curtis Pendleton is the one that got away.
Ha!
Another one.
A very few seemed to have got away from you.
Escaped is the word we're looking at.
Eh?
[laughs]
Not too many escaped you, did they?
No.
I brought pleasure to the masses,
and then my prince arrived.
He's my son, and even I think it's stretching
it to call him a prince.
For fuck's sake, Don't tell me you believe in all this "Happy
Ever After" bollocks.
Uh, yeah.
I kind of do.
I think you've got to.
There's a reason it's a fairytale.
Not one of us can escape our pasts.
Amen.
How can you have a past at 21?
Survive the fall of Saigon, did ye?
Five years captive in Guantanamo,
without so much as a drink of water?
Yeah All of that.
We could all sit around boo-hooing about our past.
WOMEN: Boo-hoo.
Boo-hoo!
[wind howling]
[fire crackling]
Give it up, lads!
Who the fuck's this guy?
Fuck off!
Fucking freak!
I won't harm ye.
You what?
I love ye.
[choir singing] (TICKS) Jesus in a nappy!
[laughs]
Freak!
[shouting]
Fuck off!
Fuck off, Marty!
[shouting]
[choir singing]
Fear not!
For I am with you!
MEN: Fuck off, Marty!
[distant sirens]
[helicopter whirs]
[indistinct chatter]
Everything all right?
Everybody's got history.
You know, everybody's got a sob story.
Of course.
We're sitting around, all sharing each other's misery.
It's like getting the excuses in early to explain why life isn't
fair for poor little old me.
I'm not sure what you're talking about.
Life is hard.
If you fuck up, you pay the consequences.
I have.
Well, we all have.
So what's your point?
Look, you're adopted.
It's a real shame.
You know, you're not without your problems yourself.
All that soul searching, all the support from the group.
I've got an illness.
Mm--
But have you heard me mention it once tonight?
Nah.
Oh yeah, so now you are the picture of blame-free are you?
Yeah, my life's pretty fucking great.
And yet, you're still an arsehole.
[smacks]
[grunts] WOMAN: What was that?
- Oh, for fuck's sake. - Hey, take it easy!
You're like two white varmints!
Fuck!
WOMAN: Pack it in!
For God's sake! How did--
[clothes rip] - Fuck me!
Pack it in, bitch!
That's enough!
(WHISPERS) Jesus.
You've got some fuckin' bottle, going for a Maguire!
Anytime Time bitch.
[organ music]
You're too young for all these responsibilities.
Shut up!
I'm concentrating.
[breathing deeply]
I mean, we should be dreaming big.
The world's oyster and all that.
Fuck all that.
Be happy, don't matter my what anyone thinks of you!
Where's that going to get you, anyway?
Ahead.
Yeah, well, fuck "ahead."
You waste your life trying to get "ahead."
Before you know it, it's all behind ye.
D'you read that on an ice lolly stick?
Shut the fuck up.
You might be happy being the water boy, mate.
Not me.
Oh, fuck off!
[laughs]
You little pussy.
What happened?
Thought you was gonna beat me?
Eh?
You distracted me!
Yeah?
Let's do some proper exercise anyway.
All right, OK.
Come on, then, son.
Show us how it's done.
[theremin music]
'Ere, you never know.
It's not in here.
I'll tell you what, have my coat, will you?
You know, keep warm while we find--
Oh no, fuck off.
I've got more chance of getting in Terry's shell.
Besides, you're gonna need it when you wave Dorothy
off down the Yellow Brick Road
Oh right, that's because I'm a Munchkin, right, yeah?
Maybe, but remember, nobody stole my jacket.
Well, why would they?
What about there?
You never know.
Someone might've slung it.
All right then.
Will
Stay there, won't ye?
[grunts]
What is it with you, eh?
I can't work it out, and it makes me very uneasy.
Ugh!
I don't know what you mean!
Oh, yes you do.
You're out here, scrabbling about for a coat
with some bastard you can't possibly like.
- I light you, Frank, all right? - See?
It's that! - What?
- There! - What?
I don't trust it.
I mean, I've done nothing but insult you all night,
and you just smile.
So what is it?
Come here.
Come here, Rasputin, what what is it?
And don't give me all these "Jesus-Zebediah" shite.
Frank, I believe in God, all right?
There's no two ways about that.
That's rock solid.
See, I know that He-- - Or She.
Yeah, or She--
exists.
Grand designs, you know, making all the plans,
whether you're a Jew, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Hindu,
a Shinto, we're all the same.
Whatever he, she, or it, it is there.
Well, as an avowed atheist, I can
only believe in God when I can perceive
a direct personal threat.
Right.
But I'll choose not to ridicule your superstition.
See, it's-- it's just the people
that I don't buy into, yeah?
I mean, they're dishonest, aren't they?
They're in it for themselves.
It's all about me, me, me.
Yeah.
I can see that would be a drawback in your game.
Wouldn't want people to be selfish in the Church of God,
would we?
Eh, confession must be a laugh though.
And then there's the wine.
Drink?
No, thank you.
It's not quite for me.
Not my vintage.
You know what?
This is like a needle in a haystack, innit it?
Which is easier for a camel to pass--
in-- to-- than--
rich man.
That-- Bible stuff.
Oh.
Shall we just search in silence?
[saxophone music]
[distant dogs barking]
[distant car alarm sounding]
Frank?
[zaps]
MAN: You fucking freak!
I need to save you!
Take you to the cop shop to help free you (TICKS Sister Sledge!
(TICKS) Brown sugar!
I have power.
I don't want to hurt you.
[choir singing in latin]
Forgive me for what I'm about to do (TICKS) Crucify!
[punch hits]
[grunting]
That's not supposed to happen!
[grunting]
[sirens approaching]
[grunting] - Go!
Go!
[police car tires squeal]
[groaning]
[police radio chatter]
I don't understand.
I have power.
[police radio chatter]
Ugh.
When never out, are we?
I'll go back 'round The Jockey and get some more.
No, please.
Would you mind if I did ?
I could do with some air.
I will walk with you.
No really, I'd quite like to go alone.
I'll tell Jamie you're coming.
I'll be quick.
Hey, go 'round the back at this time.
Don't hang around.
Loads of knobheads roaming the place now.
So is that, you know, why you left the dog-collar business?
Lack of a crisis of faith of your fellow man?
What?
Tossers.
Yeah.
As far as I'm concerned, yeah.
And the official story?
Alleged alcoholism.
The fact that I impregnated a 16-year-old.
Girl, I take it?
Oh yeah.
It was a girl I got pregnant, y'know, but she was all woman.
I mean, she could have passed for 20 any day of the week.
But she lost the baby.
Poor thing.
So are you barred, or just suspended for a few games?
The diocese put me on a 24-month sabbatical,
to get myself sorted.
Is that likely?
Look Frank!
I can have sex with any girl I like, all right?
And I drink as hard as I can, so I can't think, or remember.
The demons live on.
Yeah, all that shagging and drinking,
yes, I feel your pain.
I'm just lost, Frank.
So's me coat.
Let's just deal with that first, shall we?
Come on.
[clatters]
[men chattering]
You all right, darling?
[suspenseful music]
That you, Gloria?
Oh!
You near gave me a heart attack.
Sorry.
Three bottles, two white, one red
should see you through to the morning.
Oh, I don't know.
Patty really knows how to put it away.
[laughs]
How'd it going inside?
Eh, a sewing bee.
There were all doing one patch each.
End of the night, we'll put them together and make a big quilt.
It's nice. [laughs]
Maybe drinking chamomile tea while you're at it?
Yeah, something like that.
[laughs]
[sighs]
Fuck!
Hey, what?
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
Just-- it's been a really strange night.
Hmm.
Don't apologize.
Sorry.
No, I'm--
I'm sorry.
[electric guitar music]
[moaning]
GUARD: Powell, Avril.
Off your ass.
Where'd you get it?
I caught the fuckers what did it.
I told you I'd free ye!
Yea, you foretold it.
Free from the shame, from--
from the chains of history!
It's important you understand this--
I love my history, love the West Indies.
Nobody's been through what we have.
Shat on for centuries on three continents, and still standing.
The most beautiful, resilient people on the planet.
[keys jingle]
Where you going?
Tell them I didn't do it.
Look, I save you.
If you are the Messiah, maybe this is your destiny.
He's not the Messiah.
He's a--
Don't fucking say it.
[couple moaning]
Oh, you dirty--
You know, I wish I was more like you.
I admire you.
I can see that.
I mean, you might rant and rave and all the rest of it,
but you're not complicated.
You're a sum of your appetites.
(SLURRED) I have never been so insulted.
[laughs]
Or flattered.
See, I need the destruction.
You live the destruction.
(SLURRED) Takes discipline.
Your parka's gone, Frank.
Oh, I have faith.
Do you?
The non-existent Lord will provide.
[laughter]
Oh, no.
[sighs] I'm tired.
Yeah, I know you are, son.
You won't always be, though.
I've got to get home.
Back to our Gloria.
Hey, hurry up now.
In Case anyone else has hopped on your toadstool
and robbed your fishing pole.
[laughter]
[sighs]
I-- I better--
Do you want me to walk you?
No, that wouldn't be a smart move, would it?
Hey, you've, uh--
Thank you.
[electric guitar]
Did Gloria come?
Yeah.
We're not in it to make friends, sweetheart.
It's business.
And never forget that we're in the fantasy business.
Never forget that we're in the fantasy business.
Behave!
I am.
I'm cold.
The ABC of prostitution, Always Be Coming.
In the fantasy business, Always Be Coming.
Are you still a virgin?
No, I lost it when I was 12.
That makes me sad.
Me too.
If I'm still one when I'm 21--
Yeah I'll marry you.
I mean--
It's OK.
I know what you meant.
It's like old times.
Two old slappers, in Pit Helmets,
talking about spunk-to-cash ratios, just like old times.
[laughter]
I'll boil a pan on the stove, make us a cuppa'.
then.
I like it here.
Hmm.
(GRUNTING) 18--
19-- 20!
Ugh!
[grunts]
[laughs]
Honestly, you're so shit, man!
By the time you're like, 30, you're
going to be like 16 stone, big!
Fat!
Gut!
I don't give a shit.
Long as I'm happy and Mimi loves me.
No chance.
You want the same as me, want to be the same as me!
You're wrong.
I am happy. You should try it.
You're not seeing what I'm facing, thought!
Huh?
What, another 40 years behind this counter, or another one
just like it?
Told what I'll do, what I'll earn, what my life is.
By who?!
By a bunch of old guys with beards.
Yeah, with beards.
See, I need to be strong.
I have to force it.
[fast-paced suspenseful music]
[screaming]
Slow down, man!
It's a marathon, not a sprint.
There is nothing I can't do!
Nothing!
[music intensifying]
Ches?
Ches, what you doing?
[gasps]
What the fuck, Chesney!
What you doing?!
Ches!
Chesney!
[shouting]
[clatters]
Hello?
Eh!
Manners!
[shouting]
[rock music]
What do you think you're doing?
Fuck off!
It's me!
Still don't believe in ye.
MIMI: (VOICEOVER) Some people think you
should embrace your mistakes.
Make them part of you.
Why waste time and energy feeling guilty?
What's the point?
We're only human after all.
Even those just starting out.
Thing about mistakes is, when you're making them,
when you're in the middle of them, they don't feel wrong.
Some even feel pretty good.
[pop rock music]
CHORUS: (SINGING) Ba-ba-da-ba.
Ba-ba-da-ba-da-da.
Ba-ba-da-ba.
Ba-ba-da-ba-da-da.
Ba-ba-da-da.
Ba-ba-da-ba.
Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba-da!
Ba-ba-da-ba!
[pop rock music]
[eerie percussion music]
[chiming tones]