1 00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,900 Anyone watching thinking we know 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,200 fuck all about fuck all about needs to watch their backs. 3 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,367 Oh. 4 00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,433 So you've had your Labor, reclassifying skunk, 5 00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:19,767 sending prices sky high, literally, literally taking 6 00:00:19,867 --> 00:00:21,800 the glass of it's own roots. 7 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:25,467 Now you've got your condemnation. 8 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,067 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 9 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:29,533 Have we've had a national fucking 10 00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:35,667 stroke, or what is revolution a word or was it never? 11 00:00:35,767 --> 00:00:39,633 Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average 12 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:41,100 with irony in Chatsworth. 13 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,867 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester. 14 00:00:44,967 --> 00:00:47,900 And they charge us for water. 15 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,933 I wondered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found, 16 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:56,500 green and pleasant land in ancient times. 17 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,500 Fucking ya, ya, ya. 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:02,267 [screams] It's not there's any more. 19 00:01:02,367 --> 00:01:05,867 This is our England now. 20 00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:06,800 Party. 21 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:17,733 [loud dance music] 22 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,300 Every uncle or aunty I had swore blind that they sold 23 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,067 The Beatles play the Cavern. 24 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:33,233 And you couldn't move down Matthews Street for people 25 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:35,333 but claimed they spotted Johnny Rotten 26 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:38,467 or danced to Joy Division down at Erics. 27 00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:39,667 But not me. 28 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,967 I was too young for those bands. 29 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:44,200 I always felt that I was never in the right place 30 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,700 at the right time. 31 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,967 I never saw The Beatles, The Pistols, or Joy Division. 32 00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:51,500 My time was different. 33 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,467 Mimi. 34 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:05,900 Mimi. 35 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:06,900 You all right? 36 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,467 Never better sweetheart. 37 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:25,733 I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. 38 00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:42,467 What? 39 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:43,367 You called it a night? 40 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,400 No way. 41 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,533 You know me. 42 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,800 I'm one of the original 24 hour party people. 43 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,933 What's up? 44 00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:51,733 Is there anything wrong with this picture? 45 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:52,733 What picture? 46 00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:56,867 Jesus babe. 47 00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:59,333 We're different from them. 48 00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:00,167 So what? 49 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,033 Different doesn't last. 50 00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:03,967 The same lasts. 51 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,600 It's all about you and me remember. 52 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:07,600 Fuck the rest. 53 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:08,533 Come on. 54 00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:09,567 You up for some more? 55 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,600 God yeah. 56 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:12,533 Do you know what? 57 00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:13,700 On second thought. 58 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,233 You've just had a couple of lines and a pill. 59 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,167 Baking soda and aspirin. 60 00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:18,167 Come on, let's go. 61 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:19,533 OK, if that's what you want. 62 00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:48,767 [moaning] 63 00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:02,067 Southern Cemetery followed by a memorial 64 00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:03,900 lunch at the Midland. 65 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,267 Could be nice. - No. 66 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:06,567 We're going to St. Pat's. 67 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:07,633 And that's the end of it. 68 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,100 They've the shortest mass in Manchester. 69 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,367 Why fucking vultures, you too. 70 00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:14,733 The funeral crashers, it's a social responsibility. 71 00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:15,933 It's a free lunch. 72 00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,333 It's a buzz. 73 00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:20,033 You never know what's going to happen at a funeral. 74 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:23,333 All that pent up frustration and years 75 00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:25,233 of resentment and bitterness. 76 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:28,467 The yin and yang of familial love and hate. 77 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,133 Very strange, Mrs. Croker, if you don't mind me saying. 78 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:33,567 I consider it a compliment. 79 00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:35,167 Looking well, both. 80 00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:38,233 - Thank you. - Considering. 81 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,733 Yeah, all right, Lilian. 82 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:40,867 We get the message. 83 00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:42,233 Time to make tracks. 84 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,000 Got to get there early if we want a decent seat. 85 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,267 She's keen. 86 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:48,833 The deceased was a close personal friend. 87 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:49,733 Whatever you say. 88 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,333 What's up with your face? 89 00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:58,667 Everyone keeps banging on about how well we're doing-- 90 00:04:58,767 --> 00:04:59,600 Well, we are. 91 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,367 There you go. 92 00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:07,567 You said it would take years off. 93 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:08,633 Hairdresser. 94 00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:11,333 Not a supplier of miracles. 95 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:13,133 Could get a little work done. 96 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:14,533 Not uncommon these days. 97 00:05:14,633 --> 00:05:16,767 Upstairs or down? 98 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:19,033 Eh, downstairs is as good as new. 99 00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:20,467 Thank you very much. 100 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:22,500 Me and me mister are hand in glove. 101 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,833 I only ask because the old woman sometimes 102 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:27,433 has a lift down below. 103 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,200 Tightens things up for the new tenant. 104 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,100 Demi, our Babs, Liz Taylor. 105 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,500 You've got to love the cougars. 106 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,900 You're not saying all those girls have had their-- 107 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:35,900 God, no. 108 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,100 Liz couldn't, not with her back. 109 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,633 And the fact she is dead. 110 00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:40,567 Oh, sorry. 111 00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:41,500 And there is that. 112 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,033 And when they did Joany, they maid 113 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:46,333 a little person from the excess, and that's 114 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:49,767 how we've got Simon Cowell. 115 00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:50,967 What do you think I'd need. 116 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:53,800 A head transplant. 117 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,700 Enough with the fucking wise cracks. 118 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:56,967 I'm serious here. 119 00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,867 About cosmetic surgery? 120 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,900 You're in your prime Mim's. 121 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,800 I'm going to lose him. 122 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:04,700 Maybe not now. 123 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,667 But sometime. 124 00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:06,967 - What's he done? - Who? 125 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,300 Billy. 126 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,633 Nothing. 127 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:11,633 If that little fucker is dipping his wick, I'll just-- 128 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:14,000 He hasn't done anything. 129 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:14,900 It's not him. 130 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,900 It's me. 131 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,200 I can't be everything he needs. 132 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,967 These sandwiches taste of feat. 133 00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:29,967 Any one for a topper? 134 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,200 Oh, no thank you. 135 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,667 No, I really couldn't. 136 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,867 Any more sherry, I'll be shifting doilies. 137 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:36,767 I'll have some. 138 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,000 Incoming at 9 o'clock. 139 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:46,733 Insurance salesman, I'm thinking a ambulance chaser. 140 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:49,033 We might get a free pen. 141 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:50,100 Afternoon, ladies. 142 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,267 Thank you for coming. 143 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,867 I wouldn't have missed it for the world. 144 00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:53,833 Indeed. 145 00:06:53,933 --> 00:06:55,033 Did you know Irene well? 146 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,533 Oh, very close. 147 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,433 We were at one time. 148 00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,100 Who's Irene? 149 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,367 The lady who passed away so tragically. 150 00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:07,000 So, when where you close? 151 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,333 Back in the day, in the 60's. 152 00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:10,700 Too long ago to remember. 153 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:11,867 No, please. 154 00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:13,167 I'd love you to try. 155 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:16,700 It's wonderful meeting people who knew my mom. 156 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,633 Your mom? 157 00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:23,600 She loved travel, your mother. 158 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:24,500 She did. 159 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,800 Especially in the 60's. 160 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,733 We traveled together. 161 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,633 All over. 162 00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:32,767 Across Europe, North America. 163 00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:36,233 I hope you don't mind, but since we only brought my mother 164 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,767 back from Australia yesterday, would 165 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:40,433 you mind saying a few words? 166 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,967 No. 167 00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:44,900 that's something you should do, surely. 168 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,833 She left when I was two. 169 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,333 She only got back in touch last year. 170 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,533 Someone like you could say so much more. 171 00:07:54,033 --> 00:07:54,933 Oh. 172 00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:56,000 Thanks. 173 00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:08,567 I knew Irene, of course. 174 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:10,400 Why wouldn't I? 175 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,433 A kind woman. 176 00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:16,533 A good woman. 177 00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,700 Church going to the end. 178 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,700 Jewish, of course. 179 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,667 Which is still a religion. 180 00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:37,933 We were together at Prague, Spring. 181 00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,533 Oh, yes. 182 00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:43,167 Facing down the might of the Soviet Empire. 183 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:48,767 And then, of course, there was Woodstock. 184 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,367 Um, something smells good. 185 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,367 Your favorite. 186 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,267 Shepard's pie? 187 00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:14,867 Your second favorite. 188 00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:16,000 Oh, curry. 189 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,700 Pizza. 190 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,600 Sweet. 191 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:24,067 Thought we could have a quiet night in, 192 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:29,400 just the two of us and a film, 193 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,700 [laughing] 194 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,367 I thought you were being serious there for a minute. 195 00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:35,033 I am. 196 00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,067 All right, yeah. 197 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,600 I'd love to. 198 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:38,733 Can I ask you something? 199 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:39,700 Fire away. 200 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,367 What's your favorite book? 201 00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,867 Batman. 202 00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,267 If there was an election tomorrow, 203 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,533 who would you vote for? 204 00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:47,433 Nobody. 205 00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:49,667 Politics is boring. 206 00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,933 World events and stuff? 207 00:09:52,033 --> 00:09:53,633 Makes me sleepy. 208 00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:54,900 I don't care. 209 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,733 Oh, there's a dubstep all-nighter in town. 210 00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:57,800 I say we might go. 211 00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,100 You could go on your own. 212 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,167 I mean we don't have to do everything together. 213 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:05,667 But you said that's the secret to a happy relationship. 214 00:10:05,767 --> 00:10:07,000 Maybe I was wrong. 215 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,067 Go out, have a great time. 216 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,367 [moaning] 217 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:33,200 Sorry, did I wake you? 218 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,600 No. 219 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,567 Couldn't sleep. 220 00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:37,567 Is everything all right? 221 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:40,133 Me mind working over time, that's all. 222 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,800 Did you get off with anyone? 223 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,067 What? 224 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:44,533 No. Of course, not. 225 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:46,367 - Did you? - No. 226 00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:47,133 Kiss anyone? 227 00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:48,233 Oh, fuck off. 228 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,400 I won't even look at anyone else. 229 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,867 I think it's about time you did. 230 00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:52,800 What? 231 00:10:57,733 --> 00:11:00,333 I'll keep it safe until your dad comes back for it. 232 00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:01,300 Yeah? 233 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,200 No worries. 234 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,767 Forty quid by the end of the week, or it'll be on eBay. 235 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:07,433 Understand? 236 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:07,800 Certain. 237 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:12,367 So this friend-- 238 00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:13,567 Of a friend. 239 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,867 Friend of a friend, she wants him to shag around. 240 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:16,800 Tells him to go for it. 241 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,033 Yeah. 242 00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:20,400 It's a villian's dream, isn't it? 243 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:23,033 What having a bird pushing him to spread his seed. 244 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:24,633 Fuck, tell him to fill his boots. 245 00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:38,100 Of course, it means she's splitting up with him. 246 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,067 No, she wants him to stay together. 247 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,367 She's dumping him. 248 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:44,200 And if your mate can't see that, he's a moppet. 249 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,500 Even that or she's already doing someone herself. 250 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,467 Little lad, wiping away his tears, 251 00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:04,733 says, no, sex is the last thing on me mind. 252 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:09,733 [laughs] 253 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,100 I hope that's a fucking money tree. 254 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,000 We could Who do with one. 255 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,133 It's a cherry. 256 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,267 I thought we could plant it together in memory of-- 257 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,433 We'd have somewhere where we could go to think of her. 258 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,400 For fuck's sake. 259 00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:32,600 There's your pal's lad. 260 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,267 Oh, Christ. 261 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,100 Hello, ladies. I hope you don't mind. 262 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,767 I've tried a few places. 263 00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:40,167 Nice work Sherlock. 264 00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:43,600 It's just I have so many questions about my mother. 265 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,333 My memory's not what it was. 266 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,867 Any scraps from the table? 267 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:50,133 Well, from what I can gather, she did do Paul McCartney? 268 00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:53,133 But Bobby Charlton was just a rumor. 269 00:12:55,933 --> 00:12:58,200 A bottle of pale ale as well. 270 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,367 That's really good. 271 00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:02,167 And it's good for you, full of iron. 272 00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:03,567 No, she's [inaudible],, but I didn't like-- 273 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,100 - What's the fuck's going on? - All right, Billy. 274 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,100 Is it him? 275 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,067 Are you dipping him? 276 00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:07,967 Is that what this is about? 277 00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:08,933 What are you on about? 278 00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,200 I'm not fucking having it. 279 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,733 Now, calm yourself fella. 280 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:12,833 Uh. 281 00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:13,733 fuck. 282 00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:14,800 I think I broke me hand. 283 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:15,700 Are you all right? 284 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,467 Stop talking to him. 285 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:18,733 Shut the fuck up, you. 286 00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,467 You're an embarrassment. 287 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,100 I'm so sorry about this. 288 00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:38,233 I'm only trying to do what's right, you know? 289 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,533 We can't pretend it never happened. 290 00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:41,600 And I won't live every day like it just has. 291 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,067 Where the fuck are you going? 292 00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:55,633 I'm saving stuff. 293 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,467 A little bit aside ever since the first scan. 294 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:11,567 Nicked some copper wire from Maine Road for this. 295 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,967 Almost snow suite. 296 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,133 It's beautiful stuff. 297 00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:17,467 Proper quality gear. 298 00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:20,067 We could sell it. 299 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,167 It's got to be a quids worth. 300 00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:22,633 It's a night out, the very least. 301 00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:36,567 I really can't tell you what a tonic this is. 302 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,000 Yes. 303 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,233 You see, I always hated her for abandoning us, 304 00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,400 what she did to my father. 305 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,333 But you paint a picture of a woman who 306 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:48,267 was living life to the full. 307 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:52,300 I really do now I have to be going. 308 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,067 Thank you. 309 00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,200 And goodbye. 310 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,633 Makes me feel somehow better about it. 311 00:14:57,733 --> 00:15:00,833 Inheriting money from a woman I barely knew, 312 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:04,400 a house full of possessions. 313 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:07,300 Perhaps I could stay for just one more. 314 00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,467 There is so much to tell. 315 00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,033 Does that make you feel better? 316 00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:25,567 What goes on in your head? 317 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,000 Are you having an affair? 318 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,433 Do you want shot of me? 319 00:15:28,533 --> 00:15:30,667 No, and no. 320 00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:32,267 What's going on then? 321 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,033 I'm struggling to see the common ground, baby. 322 00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:39,967 It worries me. 323 00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:41,700 Common ground? 324 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,600 I mean like-- 325 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,033 I know what it means. 326 00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,533 I like "Batman". 327 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,900 I like all graphic novels. 328 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,833 They are works of art. 329 00:15:49,933 --> 00:15:52,967 And I won't vote in the election because politics is bollocks. 330 00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,533 It's all bought and paid for in advance. 331 00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:58,667 You vote for whatever comment offends you least. 332 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:02,933 Do you think you married a gimp or something? 333 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,700 I'm sorry if I offended you. 334 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,533 It doesn't change the problem though. 335 00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:13,367 I'm going for a drink. 336 00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:14,267 On me own. 337 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,333 Marty. 338 00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,000 I don't want another baby wearing this stuff. 339 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,933 Sorry. 340 00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,600 I just blurted it out. 341 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,833 I thought a night out would do us good. 342 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:51,100 I'll get a sub off Lilly, and that will see us right. 343 00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,500 Complements on a post card please, ladies. 344 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,833 You don't think it's a bit O.T.T. for a job interview? 345 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:14,200 I mean at you're age. 346 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,367 Making the most of her assests? 347 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,267 Your dad's not earning, so it's down to your mom 348 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,200 to bring in the bacon. 349 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:23,367 I am stuffed into this. 350 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,100 Too much? 351 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,067 Not enough in my humble. 352 00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:28,767 Designed to hypnotize, cleavage. 353 00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:31,033 It's what God intended. 354 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,300 Too low? 355 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,767 If I was a fella, I'd ride you. 356 00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,067 I don't know if I'd give you a job, 357 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,800 but I would definitely ride you. 358 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,567 What are you so nervous about? 359 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:47,800 I hate job interviews. 360 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,400 I get all sweaty. 361 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:50,400 I crumble. 362 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,600 You're smart. 363 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:54,733 Not when people are judging me, looking at me. 364 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:55,667 I hate it. 365 00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,267 Always have done. 366 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,033 Right. 367 00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,467 What's the damage? 368 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,467 Oh, it will save till you get your first pay packet. 369 00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,267 And you'll do it just like this tomorrow? 370 00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:05,667 I'll have you skipping down the street to that interview 371 00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,367 looking a million dollars. 372 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:08,333 All right. 373 00:18:08,433 --> 00:18:11,133 Best get out of this, hang it up. 374 00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,200 Oh, get off. 375 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:42,800 I mean some guys don't like how the missus looks 376 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,400 in the morning, but I love it-- 377 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,533 little puffy eyes that are just like a little chipmunk. 378 00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:51,700 I can suck a banana right out of it's skin. 379 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,800 No hands. 380 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,600 Hello, daddy. 381 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:59,733 She was dry humping him like a horny schoolie. 382 00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,133 She is a horny schoolie. 383 00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:02,267 Is there any other kind? 384 00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:04,533 I don't see what's so funny here. 385 00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:07,567 Your brand new, out of the box husband 386 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:10,633 was firing into another woman. - I told him to. 387 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,167 I was going to fucking drill to his head. 388 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:14,033 But I thought, no, you know what? 389 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:20,533 You might want-- what did you just say? 390 00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:21,500 I told him to. 391 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,000 It was my idea. 392 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:23,967 It's true. 393 00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:24,900 I don't understand either. 394 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,467 So don't ask. 395 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:27,300 I don't want it. 396 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,200 I want us to see other people. 397 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,467 I want an open relationship. 398 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:32,667 It's not right. 399 00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:36,067 It's disgusting. 400 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,133 I think it's a great idea. 401 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:41,733 Oh, excellent turn to the daily fucking bugle. 402 00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:44,533 Don't make you feel guilty about what you are doing? 403 00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:45,433 Not a bit. 404 00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:46,467 I've earned it. 405 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,267 You're taken his inheritance off him. 406 00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:50,567 He won't miss something he's never had. 407 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,400 And if he gets some relief from knowing that his mother didn't 408 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:57,867 entirely hate him, may even have had some affection for him, 409 00:19:57,967 --> 00:19:59,233 I'd say it's money well-spent. 410 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,467 You're meant to be setting an example for us. 411 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,100 We're impressionable. 412 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,167 You are a bollocks. 413 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:07,233 You haven't been impressionable since you 414 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:10,733 bought your first pack of 20 king size [inaudible].. 415 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:15,967 And her you can act like Lady Muck all you please. 416 00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:20,633 You had pram face written all over you. 417 00:20:20,733 --> 00:20:23,033 You really are horrible. 418 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,400 [knocking] 419 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:29,633 My advice to you is watch and learn. 420 00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:32,900 You won't always be jailbait. 421 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,267 And then what will you do? 422 00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:04,667 I thought we were going into town. 423 00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:06,233 Yeah, we are. Yeah. 424 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,633 It's just a little livener, a swift voddie to line us guts. 425 00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:10,000 Just you and me? 426 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,067 Cross me heart. 427 00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:19,033 We'll have a great night. 428 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:21,067 It's been ages since we've all been out together. 429 00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:21,900 You sure you're all right with this, mate? 430 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Yeah, of course. 431 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:24,600 Hey, you've got to admire the girl. 432 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,267 She's doing great. 433 00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:27,067 Yeah. 434 00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:28,667 Manchester! 435 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:30,633 Is wonderful! 436 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:32,633 Manchester is wonderful! 437 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:36,200 [yelling] 438 00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:41,100 I'm forward planning. 439 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,733 I'm being proactive to nip future problems in the balls. 440 00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:45,000 What future problems? 441 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,600 There's a quarter of a century between us. 442 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,333 I don't want to be looking over my shoulder 443 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:52,067 all the time waiting for that to bite me on the ass. 444 00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:55,100 And the solution is for him to shag other women. 445 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,267 Amongst other things. 446 00:21:57,367 --> 00:21:59,800 I can't be all women to Billy. 447 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:02,867 And it be humiliating to try. 448 00:22:02,967 --> 00:22:07,267 The stuff in his life where I don't fit in and vise versa-- 449 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:10,933 Now that is a very healthy attitude. 450 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:14,400 I mean people just get hung up about sex. 451 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,300 It just gets in the way of everything. 452 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,900 What the fuck's that for? 453 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,667 Because I can't fucking slap her. 454 00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:24,367 That's where you come in, son. 455 00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:25,833 He's reluctant. 456 00:22:25,933 --> 00:22:27,933 Your my son, and I trust you. 457 00:22:28,033 --> 00:22:31,167 And that's why I want you to take your step 458 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,800 father out and get him laid. 459 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:36,667 Now there is a sentence I never thought I would hear 460 00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:37,633 when I woke up this morning. 461 00:22:40,867 --> 00:22:41,767 Sorry. 462 00:22:41,867 --> 00:22:42,867 I'll slow up. 463 00:22:42,967 --> 00:22:44,367 You do realize don't you, there's 464 00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:47,433 not a court in this land that will 465 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:51,500 convict if I chop the fucking lot of you up right now? 466 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:52,733 Please, son. 467 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:53,700 I'll do it. 468 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,367 I'll do it on one condition. 469 00:22:56,467 --> 00:22:57,267 You do it too. 470 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:04,933 Here. 471 00:23:05,033 --> 00:23:07,933 What about her? 472 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:10,500 Too obvious. 473 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,467 All right. 474 00:23:11,567 --> 00:23:13,467 Her. 475 00:23:13,567 --> 00:23:14,967 She's taller than I am. 476 00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:15,933 Her. 477 00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:17,433 She's got an Adam's apple. 478 00:23:17,533 --> 00:23:19,533 Well, I don't care if she's a one-legged, 479 00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:23,233 Geordie, fucking dwarf with a glass eye and a ginger beard. 480 00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:24,700 I don't care whether it's a bloke. 481 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,800 You're shagging someone before the night's out. 482 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:27,733 So who do you want to ride? 483 00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:28,633 I want to ride your mom. 484 00:23:32,867 --> 00:24:03,933 I cannot get used to a world where that is not an insult. 485 00:24:04,033 --> 00:24:04,900 Excuse me. 486 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,000 Bum boys! 487 00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:19,433 It's not what I really had in mind, this. 488 00:24:19,533 --> 00:24:20,167 Don't plan it. 489 00:24:20,267 --> 00:24:22,000 It's not living. Come on. 490 00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:22,933 Kelly, please. 491 00:24:23,033 --> 00:24:24,500 Fucking don't. 492 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,900 What's got into you? 493 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,867 Just fuck off. 494 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,433 Don't start all that. 495 00:24:29,533 --> 00:24:31,033 I can't help it. 496 00:24:31,133 --> 00:24:33,100 Felling all sorry for yourself. 497 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,667 Thinking about you. 498 00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:35,633 I'm dealing with it. 499 00:24:35,733 --> 00:24:39,633 It's time you did. 500 00:24:39,733 --> 00:24:40,533 Fuck. 501 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,633 I hate these places. 502 00:24:57,733 --> 00:24:58,667 I always feel like I stand out. 503 00:24:58,767 --> 00:24:59,867 Why blend in? 504 00:24:59,967 --> 00:25:00,800 What's the fun in that? 505 00:25:03,333 --> 00:25:04,767 It's all right for you. 506 00:25:04,867 --> 00:25:08,800 You always manage to pull off kind of casual, trampy look. 507 00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:10,467 I'm a bit more reserved. 508 00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:13,400 Oh, yeah, that's the word that springs to mind, reserved. 509 00:25:15,967 --> 00:25:17,167 Oy. 510 00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:19,267 You're not a catholic school girl nowadays. 511 00:25:19,367 --> 00:25:20,633 You need to flaunt the goodies. 512 00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:25,500 Well, hello. 513 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,033 I haven't done this in fucking years. 514 00:25:29,133 --> 00:25:30,467 Now listen. 515 00:25:30,567 --> 00:25:32,833 Don't get carried away if you get a lot of attention 516 00:25:32,933 --> 00:25:34,667 early on. All right? 517 00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:35,600 Of course. 518 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,000 Why? 519 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:39,267 To avoid disappointment. 520 00:25:39,367 --> 00:25:44,367 Somebody might be chatting you up, strategically. 521 00:25:44,467 --> 00:25:46,700 You saying I'm the ugly mate? 522 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:47,600 No. 523 00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:51,333 Just be realistic. 524 00:25:51,433 --> 00:25:52,867 I will. 525 00:25:52,967 --> 00:25:55,700 Realistically, a woman your age shouldn't try to get away 526 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,233 with wearing a dress like that. 527 00:25:57,333 --> 00:25:59,400 You look like a turkey stuffed in a stocking. 528 00:26:14,067 --> 00:26:17,367 Thank you for a lovely meal. 529 00:26:17,467 --> 00:26:19,233 The pleasure was all mine. 530 00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:22,400 I'll see you tomorrow for the reading of the will. 531 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:25,000 You must think I'm pathetic, a man my age 532 00:26:25,100 --> 00:26:26,833 all curious about his mother. 533 00:26:26,933 --> 00:26:29,133 We all want to know from whence we came. 534 00:26:29,233 --> 00:26:31,200 Talking to you helps me understand her more, 535 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:32,633 why she did the things she did. 536 00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:38,233 Could I stay? 537 00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:39,533 Sorry? 538 00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:41,233 Please. 539 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,233 Or you could stay at mine. 540 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:44,900 I just want to be with you, that's all. 541 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,433 It's like part of her. 542 00:26:46,533 --> 00:26:47,333 No. 543 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:50,000 Not tonight. 544 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,267 I never had a mother. 545 00:26:51,367 --> 00:26:52,867 You don't know what's that's like to find 546 00:26:52,967 --> 00:26:54,433 her and then lose her again. 547 00:26:54,533 --> 00:26:58,433 Yes, and I'm sure Walt Disney will be making a film about it 548 00:26:58,533 --> 00:26:59,167 very soon. 549 00:26:59,267 --> 00:27:00,667 But I have heard enough. 550 00:27:00,767 --> 00:27:02,700 Thank you. 551 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,700 I'd like you to leave. 552 00:27:17,867 --> 00:27:18,933 I have them every other weekend. 553 00:27:19,033 --> 00:27:21,500 I'm on really good terms with my ex. 554 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,367 The divorce must've been awful for you. 555 00:27:24,467 --> 00:27:25,633 Yeah. 556 00:27:25,733 --> 00:27:27,933 Not the best. 557 00:27:28,033 --> 00:27:30,267 You OK there, Mimi? 558 00:27:30,367 --> 00:27:31,200 Yeah. 559 00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:32,467 Great. 560 00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:33,833 There's got to be a dance floor in here some where? 561 00:27:33,933 --> 00:27:34,767 Yeah. 562 00:27:34,867 --> 00:27:36,000 Up the stairs. 563 00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:39,167 I'd really fancy throwing some shakes. 564 00:27:39,267 --> 00:27:40,933 I'm sure there'll be a line up of guys can't wait 565 00:27:41,033 --> 00:27:43,067 to get on the floor with you. 566 00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:44,633 I'll stay here with, Mini. 567 00:27:44,733 --> 00:27:46,300 If that's OK with you? 568 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,067 Sound. 569 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,600 OK, I'll get some more drinks in. 570 00:27:54,267 --> 00:27:57,600 Off you trot to the dance floor, turkey. 571 00:27:57,700 --> 00:28:00,333 Choosing you over me qualifies as a fetish. 572 00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,600 You know that, don't you? 573 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:05,700 Gobble, gobble, gobble. 574 00:28:08,933 --> 00:28:10,267 I might just do that. 575 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:22,800 You know what you got in for you know? 576 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:26,467 Before Letitia finally came along, it wasn't easy. 577 00:28:26,567 --> 00:28:28,667 Averil didn't leave the house for weeks. 578 00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:32,500 Kelly seems to be coping OK though. 579 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,433 No, she's not OK. 580 00:28:33,533 --> 00:28:34,400 She's fucking not. 581 00:28:36,967 --> 00:28:37,800 I didn't mean anything. 582 00:28:40,967 --> 00:28:41,767 Get the fuck off her. 583 00:28:48,833 --> 00:29:17,533 [shouting] 584 00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:18,933 Was that so bad? 585 00:29:19,033 --> 00:29:20,300 No. 586 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,267 Do you need me to accompany you to the bedroom? 587 00:29:22,367 --> 00:29:23,000 No. 588 00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:25,200 You can if you want. 589 00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:30,333 I don't think I could afford the therapy, love. 590 00:29:30,433 --> 00:29:32,367 Just make sure you ride him good, will you? 591 00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:44,867 God Almighty. 592 00:29:44,967 --> 00:29:46,567 What's going on? 593 00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:48,533 Nothing. 594 00:29:48,633 --> 00:29:51,067 What are you doing here? 595 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:53,567 I wanted to see you sleeping. 596 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,767 Why? 597 00:29:55,867 --> 00:29:58,100 I've don all right. 598 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,833 I'm leading a decent life, good job, no wife yet. 599 00:30:02,933 --> 00:30:03,833 But there is time. 600 00:30:03,933 --> 00:30:05,833 I'm proud of where I've got to. 601 00:30:05,933 --> 00:30:07,133 As you should be. 602 00:30:07,233 --> 00:30:08,167 I should be very fucked up with everything 603 00:30:08,267 --> 00:30:10,033 that was done to me. 604 00:30:10,133 --> 00:30:13,100 I need to know why she left. 605 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,833 I need you to leave this house. 606 00:30:15,933 --> 00:30:17,067 I won't hurt you. 607 00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:19,133 Oh, I know that. 608 00:30:19,233 --> 00:30:20,600 But you have to go. 609 00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:26,500 Yeah. 610 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,633 Cheers. 611 00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:48,233 Fuck me, you're a smooth one. - Not really. 612 00:30:52,033 --> 00:30:54,733 Listen, I'm no expert. 613 00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:56,833 You only have to ask me ex-wives. 614 00:30:56,933 --> 00:30:58,133 Somethings not right here. 615 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,300 What's going on? 616 00:31:04,133 --> 00:31:07,133 I'm married. Happily. 617 00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:08,267 You can't be that happy. 618 00:31:11,233 --> 00:31:12,900 We're trying an open relationship. 619 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,633 So this-- 620 00:31:14,733 --> 00:31:16,433 It's the only thing I can think of to keep me 621 00:31:16,533 --> 00:31:18,833 and my fella together in the long term. 622 00:31:18,933 --> 00:31:20,233 There's an age issue. 623 00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:22,233 I don't want it looming over us in the years to come. 624 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:24,167 And you really don't want to sleep with other men. 625 00:31:27,733 --> 00:31:30,767 But we've both got to do it, or it won't work you see. 626 00:31:30,867 --> 00:31:32,033 Bizarrely. 627 00:31:32,133 --> 00:31:34,333 I think I do. 628 00:31:34,433 --> 00:31:35,367 Pity. 629 00:31:35,467 --> 00:31:38,700 I can peel a satsuma with this tongue. 630 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,233 [moaning] 631 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:52,133 Where is he? 632 00:31:52,233 --> 00:31:53,233 Where the fuck is he? 633 00:31:55,467 --> 00:31:56,300 Yuck. 634 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,067 Averil Powell. 635 00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:05,900 What a night. 636 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,367 I don't even remember getting home, though. 637 00:33:08,467 --> 00:33:11,600 You woke the whole house needing money for the taxi. 638 00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:14,933 You owe me 10, 20 pounds. 639 00:33:15,033 --> 00:33:16,533 Jesus, what happened to you? 640 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:19,633 Oh, yeah. 641 00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:20,533 I remember now. 642 00:33:24,567 --> 00:33:26,967 Where are you going? 643 00:33:27,067 --> 00:33:30,033 What do you care? 644 00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:32,067 I don't really. 645 00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:35,500 I used to think you were a victim of circumstance. 646 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,333 And now I can see you're just stupid. 647 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:39,233 Stupid? 648 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,033 Like the bloke who's grief you're ripping off? 649 00:33:45,133 --> 00:33:46,467 Got you mixed in the will yet? 650 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,200 Doesn't look that bad. 651 00:33:57,300 --> 00:33:59,833 I'm a fucking peanut smuggler. 652 00:33:59,933 --> 00:34:02,500 You could hang your trilby off these. 653 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:03,633 Oh, behave. 654 00:34:03,733 --> 00:34:06,233 I have breasts, and an ass, and a mouth. 655 00:34:06,333 --> 00:34:08,067 This shouldn't be news to you. 656 00:34:08,167 --> 00:34:09,700 In my first job, it was considered 657 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,100 a privilege to be bent over the boss' desk for a spanking. 658 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,533 Oh, the these that feminism has robbed us of, eh? 659 00:34:17,633 --> 00:34:19,933 Though if it had have been a bloke during the interview, 660 00:34:20,033 --> 00:34:21,500 you'd be on easy street by now. 661 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,367 Maybe you blew her away in the chair. 662 00:34:24,467 --> 00:34:27,500 Let me see, once we established 663 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:31,167 I had no relevant qualifications or experience to speak of, 664 00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:32,800 a subject we kept returning-- 665 00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:35,733 Why did they have you in if you had nothing to offer? 666 00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:38,533 That's exactly what she said. 667 00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:42,267 Precisely what do you have to offer? 668 00:34:42,367 --> 00:34:44,533 Well, the thing is-- 669 00:34:44,633 --> 00:34:46,600 What would you say is your breast quality? 670 00:34:46,700 --> 00:34:47,500 Pardon? 671 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,667 Your breast quality? 672 00:34:50,767 --> 00:34:52,400 My best quality? 673 00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,433 Just nipple. 674 00:34:54,533 --> 00:34:55,700 Oh, dear. 675 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:56,600 How embarrassing. 676 00:34:56,700 --> 00:34:58,833 You think? 677 00:34:58,933 --> 00:35:01,600 Look, I'm good. 678 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:03,133 And I'm fucking clever. 679 00:35:03,233 --> 00:35:07,600 But if paper smarts what counts, there's 680 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:10,333 a bucketful o out in the corridor fit the bill better. 681 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:20,200 Look, there is plenty more jobs in the sea. 682 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:24,667 I look forward to the ritual humiliation. 683 00:35:24,767 --> 00:35:30,967 [phone ringing] 684 00:35:31,067 --> 00:35:32,033 Hello. 685 00:35:37,833 --> 00:35:39,167 Mom. 686 00:35:39,267 --> 00:35:41,100 Jesus, Tish, my knickers have hardly hit the floor. 687 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,233 It's the hospital on the phone. 688 00:35:42,333 --> 00:35:43,500 They are offering you the job. 689 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:44,733 Fuck off. 690 00:35:44,833 --> 00:35:46,767 It's not funny. - It's true. 691 00:35:55,767 --> 00:35:56,567 Hello. 692 00:36:00,467 --> 00:36:02,833 She said she admired my honesty. 693 00:36:02,933 --> 00:36:05,333 Plain speaking. 694 00:36:05,433 --> 00:36:12,067 You are looking at a trainee pharmacist assistant. 695 00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:13,000 Whoo hoo. 696 00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:14,000 Cheers, Averil. 697 00:36:14,100 --> 00:36:14,933 Well done, honey. 698 00:36:15,033 --> 00:36:16,400 You have got a job. 699 00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:21,867 - Good morning. - No. 700 00:36:21,967 --> 00:36:23,600 Don't mate. Honestly. 701 00:36:23,700 --> 00:36:24,533 Don't fucking talk to me. 702 00:36:24,633 --> 00:36:26,600 My head is full up. 703 00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:27,667 There's no more room. 704 00:36:27,767 --> 00:36:28,600 Thank you. 705 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:29,567 My pleasure. 706 00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:34,200 You shag her? 707 00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:36,633 Yeah. 708 00:36:36,733 --> 00:36:38,067 all night. 709 00:36:38,167 --> 00:36:40,667 Inside out and upside down. 710 00:36:40,767 --> 00:36:42,100 Come on. 711 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,733 This is just getting tasteless now. 712 00:36:44,833 --> 00:36:46,167 You really did it? 713 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:51,967 Did it for us. 714 00:36:52,067 --> 00:36:53,700 You're a very lucky man. 715 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,267 Fuck off. 716 00:36:55,367 --> 00:36:56,000 You? 717 00:36:56,100 --> 00:36:57,667 I shagged her. 718 00:36:57,767 --> 00:36:59,600 And warts to prove it. 719 00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:01,033 Don't. 720 00:37:01,133 --> 00:37:04,667 Fucking serious right. 721 00:37:04,767 --> 00:37:08,233 Can't take this anymore. 722 00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:10,000 Not another fucking word. 723 00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:12,767 Did he try and pork ya? 724 00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:14,700 You read about such things. 725 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,033 Fork of a fetish for the horrific. 726 00:37:17,133 --> 00:37:20,867 There was no porking attempted or otherwise. 727 00:37:20,967 --> 00:37:23,767 Blackmail him, or call the cops. 728 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,900 He's a pedophile. 729 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,367 No the opposite of a pedophile. 730 00:37:28,467 --> 00:37:30,467 I can be unkind to you sometimes. 731 00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:34,200 But you are conclusive proof that modern culture is rotting 732 00:37:34,300 --> 00:37:35,500 the brains of our youth. 733 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,233 Well, we could ask Jamie to sort him out. 734 00:37:37,333 --> 00:37:38,200 No. 735 00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:40,167 He's got something coming, love. 736 00:37:40,267 --> 00:37:42,667 You can't stroke a lady's hair net and get away with it. 737 00:37:54,467 --> 00:37:55,533 May I? 738 00:37:55,633 --> 00:37:56,433 Please. 739 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:03,833 I'm sorry. 740 00:38:03,933 --> 00:38:04,833 No need. 741 00:38:04,933 --> 00:38:06,267 You have to understand that-- 742 00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:07,400 I do. 743 00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:11,133 A mother's love is important. 744 00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:14,767 All those gobshites over there think I'm about to rip 745 00:38:14,867 --> 00:38:16,767 money out of your pocket. 746 00:38:16,867 --> 00:38:18,133 But I'm not. 747 00:38:18,233 --> 00:38:20,600 I couldn't give a monkey's fart about the money. 748 00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:22,967 I'll tell you the truth about your mother 749 00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:25,767 if you promise to leave here afterwards 750 00:38:25,867 --> 00:38:29,500 and never contact me again. 751 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,167 OK. 752 00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:35,033 I have one further condition. 753 00:38:35,133 --> 00:38:40,633 You said your mommy had a house full of possessions. 754 00:38:40,733 --> 00:38:45,000 There is one item of sentimental value I very much like to have. 755 00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:46,800 It's an album of photographs. 756 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:49,533 Anything. 757 00:38:49,633 --> 00:38:50,433 I just need to know. 758 00:38:53,267 --> 00:38:57,733 Her name was Irene Phyllis O'Donnell. 759 00:38:57,833 --> 00:39:01,700 She was born 22nd of August 1939, 760 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:06,167 not '42 as her birth certificate would attest. 761 00:39:06,267 --> 00:39:08,133 She never loved their father. 762 00:39:10,767 --> 00:39:14,167 Whatever you may think of him, he wasn't a nice man. 763 00:39:14,267 --> 00:39:15,733 Bully, aggressive. 764 00:39:18,433 --> 00:39:22,400 She married him on the rebound from the love of her life. 765 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,167 That would be me. 766 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,700 I consider my time with your mommy the best days I ever had. 767 00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:58,233 Rule 1, never stay the night. 768 00:39:58,333 --> 00:40:00,300 Quick shag then home. 769 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,000 Two, always, always wear a Johnny. 770 00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:06,533 Nobody calls them Johnny's any more. 771 00:40:06,633 --> 00:40:08,367 [whistles] 772 00:40:08,467 --> 00:40:11,800 3, no shitting on your own doorstep. 773 00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:13,933 I've suffered enough local humiliation. 774 00:40:14,033 --> 00:40:15,900 No bringing guys back to our marital bed. 775 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,400 Don't need those pictures in me head. 776 00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:19,167 Fair enough. 777 00:40:19,267 --> 00:40:21,567 No one over the age of 25. 778 00:40:21,667 --> 00:40:23,733 I'm your personal M.I.L.F. 779 00:40:23,833 --> 00:40:25,333 No one under the age of 35. 780 00:40:25,433 --> 00:40:27,233 I'm your spunky young lad. 781 00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:28,900 This might actually work, you know. 782 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,400 To be honest, I enjoyed it. 783 00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:32,133 [crying baby] 784 00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:34,267 Oh, I've got a live one. 785 00:40:37,433 --> 00:40:38,267 Oh. 786 00:40:45,767 --> 00:40:47,800 So how was he? 787 00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:49,867 You're old slapper? 788 00:40:49,967 --> 00:40:51,400 What the fuck have I done, G? 789 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,100 Well, that was your idea. 790 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,200 And it's the right idea. 791 00:40:57,300 --> 00:41:00,967 Doesn't make it any easier though. 792 00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:03,100 I've not slept for 48 hours. 793 00:41:55,233 --> 00:41:57,267 It's all right, I've got it. 794 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,733 This isn't what anyone would have wanted. 795 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,500 Least of all me and Kelly. 796 00:42:23,233 --> 00:42:25,733 It's easy to look back and think how things 797 00:42:25,833 --> 00:42:27,067 could have been different. 798 00:42:30,733 --> 00:42:33,800 But what's harder is to look forward when 799 00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:35,733 something like this happens. 800 00:42:35,833 --> 00:42:43,933 Because it's hard to imagine a future what we were blessed-- 801 00:42:44,033 --> 00:42:48,133 me and Kelly were blessed. 802 00:42:48,233 --> 00:42:49,800 Our baby's name was Cherry Belle. 803 00:42:56,767 --> 00:42:57,633 She'll always be with us. 804 00:43:11,167 --> 00:43:12,767 Thank you. 805 00:43:12,867 --> 00:43:14,633 That's it now. 806 00:43:14,733 --> 00:43:19,867 It's time to stop grieving and start living. 807 00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:22,100 Where are you going? 808 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:25,167 It's time I got back on the horse so to speak. 809 00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:26,667 I'm taking a shift at work. 810 00:43:26,767 --> 00:43:28,233 You can't. 811 00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:32,700 I mean isn't it disrespectful to the baby? 812 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,967 Oh, I'm shot to bits. 813 00:43:54,067 --> 00:43:54,900 So am I'm. 814 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,067 Don't know if I'll last. 815 00:43:56,167 --> 00:43:57,367 Oh, come on, babe. 816 00:43:57,467 --> 00:44:00,800 I've been looking forward to this all day. 817 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:02,867 It's your chapter. 818 00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:04,500 Where did we stop? 819 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,133 Serious Black has escaped from Azkaban and Ron 820 00:44:07,233 --> 00:44:10,367 and Hermione think he's coming after Harry. 821 00:44:10,467 --> 00:44:11,767 [billy reading] 822 00:44:11,867 --> 00:44:13,333 [mimi voiceover]:: They say that you get your reward in heaven, 823 00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:16,333 but they also say that time waits for no man. 824 00:44:16,433 --> 00:44:25,067 Or woman 825 00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:27,433 And if you don't want to wait until you get to heaven, 826 00:44:27,533 --> 00:44:30,367 then you have to grab what you can when you can. 827 00:44:41,300 --> 00:44:44,800 We can't wait for others to fail or for them to succeed 828 00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:46,400 and give us what we need. 829 00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:49,100 Because our time here can be so short. 830 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,500 And we can't wait for the rest of the world to catch up. 831 00:44:54,367 --> 00:44:56,967 So if you're lucky and if you work at it 832 00:44:57,067 --> 00:44:58,733 and throw yourself into it then you 833 00:44:58,833 --> 00:45:03,367 might just might get your reward right here on earth. 834 00:45:52,067 --> 00:45:58,133 And there is how one peels a satsuma using only the tongue. 835 00:45:58,233 --> 00:46:00,267 We've got to go upstairs right now. 836 00:46:00,367 --> 00:46:01,467 The nights young, Gloria. 837 00:46:01,567 --> 00:46:04,467 I'm so wet I might slip off my chair.