1 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:04,733 [tapping] 2 00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:08,433 Anyone watching thinking we know fuck 3 00:00:08,533 --> 00:00:10,800 all about knowing fuck all about owt, 4 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,033 needs to watch their backs! 5 00:00:13,133 --> 00:00:15,767 So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk, 6 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:17,700 sending prices sky-high. 7 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,667 Literally, literally, taking the grass from it's own root. 8 00:00:21,767 --> 00:00:25,267 Now you've got your Con-Dem-Nation, Liberals 9 00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:28,067 nozzing Tories like alterboys picking dimps up. 10 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:31,867 Have we had a national fucking stroke, or what? 11 00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:35,700 Is revolution a word, or was it never? 12 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,667 Anybody watching needs to know, we cope better than average 13 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:41,433 with irony in Chatsworth. 14 00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:45,000 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester, 15 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,933 and they charge us for water. 16 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:52,600 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found. 17 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:56,367 This green and pleasant land in ancient times. 18 00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:59,233 Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak yak yak, yak! 19 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:02,100 It's not theirs anymore. 20 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,633 This is our England now! 21 00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:05,533 Party! 22 00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:15,300 [moaning] 23 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,633 KELLY: (VOICEOVER) I had a paper round when I was a kid. 24 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:22,667 There was this one fella who I used to deliver to called Max, 25 00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:25,567 last house on me round. 26 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:28,267 He told me not to be so wary of people, 27 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:32,200 strangers are just friends we haven't yet met. 28 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,767 I learned to take people on, not to be afraid of folk, 29 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:39,033 be a bit more trusting. 30 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:42,133 And yeah, A couple of people have let me down-- 31 00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,833 my first boyfriend, that woman who 32 00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:48,633 runs the bread stall on the market, and Michael Barrymore. 33 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,933 But just because you meet the odd wolf in sheep's clothing, 34 00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:52,400 it doesn't mean you should change the way 35 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,533 you think about folk, does it? 36 00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:55,633 Really turning me on. 37 00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:57,833 KELLY: (VOICEOVER) Take 'em as you find 'em. 38 00:01:57,933 --> 00:02:03,233 And as Max would say, "suck it and see." 39 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:04,167 Ah. 40 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,033 I'll mark you as a seven. 41 00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,233 Usually go a bit younger, you see. 42 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,067 Bigger tits, and a tighter-- 43 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,600 Yeah, all right, I get the picture. 44 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,500 Maybe a six. 45 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,833 Shame your boss ain't a working girl. 46 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:21,800 She'd be a nine. 47 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,900 Lillian? 48 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,467 Pretty Thing big eyes, and a f-- 49 00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:27,700 In Lillian's absence, I'm the boss. 50 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,000 Who fucking says so? 51 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:29,933 Lillian. 52 00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:30,867 Yeah? 53 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,100 Yeah. 54 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,467 Right. I'm off. 55 00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:39,233 Trixie can't service this lot on her own. 56 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,833 You'll have to get stuck in there, won't you? 57 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:44,567 If you walk out of that door, you won't ever be allowed back. 58 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,667 I mean it. 59 00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:46,833 You're sacked. 60 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:47,900 You can't sack me. 61 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,700 No? 62 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:50,633 No. 63 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,667 I was going to work for the council, 64 00:02:57,767 --> 00:03:00,367 but I wanted to spend less time on paperwork, 65 00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:03,067 and more time on the actual job, you know. 66 00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:04,033 Custard cream? 67 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,033 My favourite. 68 00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:05,967 Take two. 69 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,133 Oh, I couldn't. 70 00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,100 A moment on the lips-- 71 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,767 A lifetime on the hips. 72 00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:10,700 Exactly. 73 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,167 [laughing] 74 00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,700 Three piles of dog mess, I was hoping for much more. 75 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,100 The MP won't take three seriously. 76 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,933 Mum this is Jenny. 77 00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,267 Jenny Taylor. 78 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:24,333 Jenny's going to be your carer. 79 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:26,567 Remember you said we could do with a bit of help? 80 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,500 I said no such thing. 81 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,967 No wonder so many elderly people lose their marbles. 82 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:35,267 Alone all day, no company except the television. 83 00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:38,500 Antiques here, antiques there, auction this, cash that. 84 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,233 It's rubbish. 85 00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,567 Oh, finally a bit of food. 86 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,533 I've had nothing to eat but dust and air. 87 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,500 And then you bring me this? 88 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,967 A bowl of disdain, served up on a tray of neglect. 89 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,033 I work, I have a job now mother. 90 00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,467 You've bitten off more than you can chew. 91 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,733 You can't look after me and hold down a job. 92 00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:01,200 I meant you should stop working. 93 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,800 - Should I just-- - No, no. 94 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:03,767 Yes. 95 00:04:03,867 --> 00:04:04,767 She staying. 96 00:04:04,867 --> 00:04:05,733 She's not. 97 00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:06,833 - She is. - She isn't. 98 00:04:06,933 --> 00:04:08,667 - Is 99 00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:09,767 - Is. - Isn't. 100 00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:10,667 Is. 101 00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:18,300 [MUSIC - THE TEMPTATIONS, "JUST MY IMAGINATION"] 102 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:23,767 Well, it was just my imagination, 103 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,133 running away with me. 104 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:28,333 I've been chasing you for ages. 105 00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,200 Why, is your phone broke? 106 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:33,367 Must be, seeing as I get about a dozen texts a day off you. 107 00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:34,433 Oh yeah? 108 00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:35,600 Sorry about that. 109 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,033 I-- - So go on. 110 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,100 What do you want this time? 111 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:42,900 I was wondering if you-- 112 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:50,567 if you um-- a hammer? 113 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:54,267 If you've got a hammer, I mean, that I can borrow 114 00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:58,733 to put a picture up in my room? 115 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,533 I'm putting a picture up. 116 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,633 I'll pop round as soon as I get a chance. 117 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:04,533 A hammer? 118 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,667 Sorry I missed your call, I've been 119 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,367 a bit tied up with my stalker. 120 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,667 Sita, is everything OK? 121 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:17,900 Chesney's out. 122 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Right. 123 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:25,800 You OK? 124 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,800 I am now. 125 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:28,800 [music playing] 126 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,200 Kelly love, Bonnie's told me about-- 127 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,533 Bet she didn't tell you everything. 128 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,567 Swanning around, saying she's the boss and that. 129 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:08,367 She is. 130 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,067 When I'm not there, she is. 131 00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:12,167 I know you two's got a few differences, 132 00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:14,667 but I'd like you to get along. 133 00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:15,567 She's sacked. 134 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,000 You can't sack me. 135 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,667 - I can do what the fuck I like. - Stop it! 136 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,200 The pair of you. 137 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,600 You can't breeze and out of work whenever the mood takes you. 138 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,533 And You can't sack anybody unless you've 139 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:25,833 talked to me first. 140 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:27,633 You're letting her come back? 141 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,433 She's a popular girl. 142 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:30,367 Bonnie! 143 00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:38,000 Shane, get Lillian a drink. 144 00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,000 [moaning] 145 00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:06,333 Marry me. 146 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,600 Did you find everything you were after today? 147 00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:38,067 Not everything, no. 148 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,367 Well, if we haven't got what you want, 149 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:40,533 you should try somewhere else. 150 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,133 You all right, mate? 151 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:49,600 What's the matter with him? 152 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:50,533 Search me. 153 00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:14,367 You weren't worried about me, were you? 154 00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:17,267 I've had a couple drinks with Kelly. 155 00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:20,800 Thanks for waiting up for me though, Lovey, it's-- 156 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,533 changing the locks? 157 00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:24,400 Thank you sweetheart, you can go and see Trixie 158 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,033 now, she'll sort you out, yeah? 159 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,600 You can't be too careful, not round here. 160 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,033 Especially with all that work we've had and lights, it's-- 161 00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:35,000 let me in, you daft ha'peth! 162 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,600 - Go away. - Pardon? 163 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,700 Go away! 164 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,433 Piss off out of it! Fuck off! 165 00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:13,633 Good morning! 166 00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:22,000 Now, I don't know how much assistance you need. 167 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:22,933 From you? 168 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:24,033 None. 169 00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:25,400 Well, I thought I'd gently ease 170 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,000 my way into your morning routine by making 171 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:28,933 a lovely bowl of porridge. 172 00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,167 I hate porridge. 173 00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:33,767 My mother used to love her porridge of a morning. 174 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:35,233 I am not your mother. 175 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,633 No. 176 00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:39,800 Anyhoo, give it a whirl. it's a bit of a speciality of mine. 177 00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:47,467 Oh! 178 00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,000 It's too salty. 179 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,633 That's too sweet. 180 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:03,667 Just right? 181 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:07,667 Yes! 182 00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,333 Thanks for taking me in last night, love. 183 00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:18,733 We weren't gonna leave you out here, were we? 184 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:19,700 [snoring] 185 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,033 Love you mummy. 186 00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,533 Right, remember what I said. 187 00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:30,600 We've no idea what she will do, so be on your guard. 188 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:31,533 [knocking] 189 00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:33,500 All right, all right. 190 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,333 Hiya, everyone. Come on in. 191 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,400 What the fuck? 192 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,800 Still whiffs a bit, but what do you reckon? 193 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,233 - Classy. - Mint. 194 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,767 Tacky. 195 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,100 It's the kindest thing anyone's ever done, thank you. 196 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,633 Did you have a nice time at the hotel, Lills? 197 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:06,700 Hotel? 198 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,000 Yeah, I booked her in. 199 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,367 She couldn't have stayed here last night, 200 00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,900 there were builders all over the place. 201 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,900 What have you done with all the stuff? 202 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,800 Photos, ornaments. 203 00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,300 I know it's not up to much at the mo, 204 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,667 but when Lills puts all her little piccies up and that, 205 00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,667 it will be dead homely. 206 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:21,933 And this? 207 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:23,833 So she doesn't have to go down to the kitchen 208 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,100 to cook her meals. 209 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,067 Is she going to shit in a bucket and all? 210 00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:28,867 This is Lilian's house, and you can't-- 211 00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:29,800 It's not. 212 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,367 It's Bonnie's house now. 213 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:37,300 I signed it over to her, in case I have to go into a care home. 214 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,300 You don't need to go into a care home. 215 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,167 Not yet. 216 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,633 She's my daughter, see. 217 00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,867 Not by blood, I've adopted her. 218 00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:47,333 I'm officially Bonnie Tyler. 219 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:49,733 Turn around, bright eyes. 220 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:50,667 Twat. 221 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:51,700 Fuck this. 222 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,600 Dickhead. 223 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,500 Why have you done this? 224 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,033 After everything we-- 225 00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:07,400 I've looked after you, protected, helped. 226 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,400 Why do this? 227 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,800 I need someone. 228 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,433 You've got me. 229 00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:13,067 And I don't want naught in return. 230 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,367 You've got me. 231 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,000 You've got your own life, love. 232 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,267 Bonnie and me haven't. 233 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:33,967 What would you like to do today? 234 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:36,500 What do you propose? 235 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,000 Well, one of the high number channels 236 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,733 has a Last of the Summer Wine marathon. 237 00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:42,033 No. 238 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,400 The History Channel, for wartime? 239 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:45,500 No. 240 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:46,633 TV bingo. 241 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,733 No. 242 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:50,000 Oh! 243 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,000 Concentrate on what you're doing, will you? 244 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,067 Sorry 245 00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:55,467 I've had a bellyful of what this house has to offer. 246 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,333 I want to get out and about, and see the world. 247 00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:04,567 Tatton Park, trip out to Fleetwood, the theatre. 248 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:07,867 We Will Rock You must be on somewhere. 249 00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,000 [music playing] 250 00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:14,767 Jackson! 251 00:13:14,867 --> 00:13:15,667 Carl! 252 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,367 Jackson! 253 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:22,433 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put your lights out! 254 00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:23,167 What the fuck? 255 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,233 Letitia's a child! 256 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:25,800 My child! Stay away! 257 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,033 Listen, I'm not-- 258 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:29,000 Texting each other every five minutes? 259 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,767 That's her! 260 00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:31,900 Not me. 261 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,733 She's been following me around and-- 262 00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,967 look, she's been sending me stuff like this, all the time, 263 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:37,933 right? 264 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:39,200 And I don't know what to do. 265 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,400 I've been trying to put her off and that, 266 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,800 but she won't take no for an answer. 267 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:42,733 Here. 268 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,967 I'm sorry. 269 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,033 I'll kill her. 270 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,567 Jackson! 271 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,767 You can't go in with all guns blazing. 272 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,833 Like you said, she's a child. 273 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:57,033 We could mess her up forever if we 274 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,300 don't deal with this properly. 275 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,033 Make her fall out of love with you. 276 00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,133 Doing it nicely. 277 00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:07,367 Break her heart and I'll kill you. 278 00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:10,400 I mean it. 279 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,667 She's a sensitive soul, takes after me. 280 00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:13,767 [laughing] 281 00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:15,200 I am. 282 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,667 Still scarred by this girl dumping me when I was 14. 283 00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:17,967 Tracy Russell? 284 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,733 Yeah, Tracy Russell. 285 00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,733 Tracy fucking Russell? 286 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:23,933 What was that for? 287 00:14:24,033 --> 00:14:25,300 I wouldn't mind, but she was minging. 288 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,667 Ah! 289 00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:33,067 That That's a good flash, that. 290 00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:34,367 I don't think I was smiling. 291 00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:35,633 Do you want to take another? 292 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,233 No, it's perfect. 293 00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,433 I'll upload it later. 294 00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:39,367 Upload it? 295 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,733 To the website. 296 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,133 It pays to advertise, you see. 297 00:14:42,233 --> 00:14:43,233 With a picture of me? 298 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,833 I'm expanding the business, Lills. 299 00:14:45,933 --> 00:14:47,700 Granny fucks, Wayne Rooney specials. 300 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,067 You can't do that. 301 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,967 I just run things, I don't do things. 302 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:51,900 I just run things. 303 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,200 Not anymore. 304 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,167 I won't be able to, you know. The mechanics. 305 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,933 Like riding a bike. 306 00:14:57,033 --> 00:14:59,533 But I don't want to, I don't like it. 307 00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:00,733 Never have, truth be told. 308 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,100 New house rules, you suck off, or you fuck off, 309 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,600 same for everyone. 310 00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,733 Really strong air freshener, to get rid 311 00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,367 of the stench of old people. 312 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,100 I thought we were going out. 313 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,300 We are out. 314 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,133 - I love you. - Shh! 315 00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:24,633 I don't care who hears. 316 00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:25,767 I do. 317 00:15:25,867 --> 00:15:27,033 I want us to be together, right? 318 00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,267 There is no us, Carl. 319 00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:32,033 No, there fucking isn't. 320 00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:37,500 She's not just another fuck. 321 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,533 I swear, I love her, I fucking love her. 322 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:41,300 Then you're fucked. 323 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,900 You heard of honor killings? 324 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Don't be daft. 325 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,000 You don't know her family, mate. 326 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,833 At the very least, they'll cut her out. 327 00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:48,800 She won't have anyone, or-- 328 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:49,700 She'll have me. 329 00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,767 It's all down to your faith. 330 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,700 She could never be with someone who wasn't a Muslim. 331 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,367 I'll convert, then. 332 00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:00,800 I mean it, I'll do whatever it takes. 333 00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,100 I'll convert. 334 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,567 It's not just about dressing up. 335 00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:08,067 To be a good Muslim, you have to have a pure heart, 336 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,333 live a good life. 337 00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:10,367 Yeah, I know. 338 00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:11,300 And I will. 339 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,800 You've been dealing in stolen cars. 340 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:23,033 And you've been driving them. 341 00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:23,967 [phone beeping] 342 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,967 Your admirer again? 343 00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,333 You need to sort that out. 344 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:31,200 I want to sort this first. 345 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,733 I know we've got something. 346 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:41,167 The way we were yesterday, I know you felt it too. 347 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,633 And I'm sorry for asking you to marry me. 348 00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,167 Maybe we should take our time. 349 00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:45,367 No! 350 00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:47,733 I'm getting married already, I'm going to Pakistan. 351 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,267 It's set and everything, sorry. 352 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,233 When a man and a woman love each other. 353 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,800 But what about when a man loves a man, and a woman 354 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,700 loves a woman? 355 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,233 That's different. 356 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:05,300 How? 357 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,700 Let's just stick to the matter in hand. 358 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,600 Go on, then. 359 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:15,133 When a man and a woman love each other-- 360 00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:18,300 You're not going to say a special kiss, or a special hug, 361 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,200 are you? 362 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,400 No. 363 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,467 Of course not. 364 00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:29,400 The sperm swims. 365 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,600 It can swim. 366 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,400 Yeah. 367 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,800 Continue. 368 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,000 It swims to the egg. 369 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,833 How does it get there? 370 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,367 I mean, I get the egg bit, yeah. 371 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:46,233 But the sperm, how does that get there? 372 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:56,700 Um, um, uh, Avril? 373 00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:32,500 Collectibles in Your Cellar's on in a few minutes. 374 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,667 [clears throat] 375 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:40,867 They're mine. 376 00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:43,167 The chocolates, they're mine. 377 00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:45,133 Oh. 378 00:18:45,233 --> 00:18:49,367 You know, I don't think this is working out, me and you. 379 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,600 I don't go anywhere, do anything. 380 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:56,067 It's the same as it was before, but with less chocolates. 381 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,100 I think would be best if you moved on. 382 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,700 You can't ask me to move on. 383 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,667 Well, you can ask me, but it won't make any difference. 384 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,567 I'm employed by your daughter. 385 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,433 You have absolutely no say in the matter. 386 00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:25,633 As well as the makeover, and the installation of the CCTV 387 00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:29,400 system to make your working environment safer and happier, 388 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:32,600 Bruno here will be on hand 24/7. 389 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:33,900 A pimp? 390 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,800 His title is Leisure and Recreation Manager. 391 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,033 A pimp. 392 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,467 Bruno will also ensure that your payments 393 00:19:38,567 --> 00:19:39,267 are present and correct. 394 00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:40,667 Never had trouble before. 395 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:44,000 Not just from the punters, but also from the girls. 396 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,133 This refurbishment costs. 397 00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:47,967 This is payback time. 398 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,333 House cuts will rise to 70%. 399 00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:51,500 Fuck off. 400 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,833 You'll be no worse off. 401 00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:54,700 There's more customers coming through the door already. 402 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,967 It's a little knocking shop, not the fucking Chicken Ranch. 403 00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:00,833 Bruno will also be collecting 200 a week 404 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,933 rent money from all of you. 405 00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:06,400 Taxi drivers rent their cars, hairdressers hire their chairs, 406 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,267 you ladies will be renting your beds. 407 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:09,467 No way! 408 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,967 Feel free to leave any time you want. 409 00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,467 I am doing. 410 00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:15,400 You're all free to ply your trade 411 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,600 with the other ten quid a threw crackhead girls on the streets. 412 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,800 Because I'd ensure no other parlour in Manchester 413 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,300 would take any of you. 414 00:20:28,367 --> 00:20:29,167 [yelling] 415 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,033 Wake up, you fucking tramp. 416 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:33,967 Oh, fuck. 417 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,433 What, you slept here? 418 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:38,600 I must have, yeah. 419 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:41,067 You're turning into your dad. 420 00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,567 The police have been round. 421 00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:46,000 They wanted a word with Sita about that stolen car shit. 422 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,767 Apparently she was IDed. 423 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:50,100 Could it get any worse? 424 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,067 Had a word with Letitia Yet? 425 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,000 Yeah, I'm on it. 426 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:53,900 Liar! 427 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,067 Go easy, won't you? 428 00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:56,000 Will do. 429 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,467 No you won't. 430 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,300 You'll stick your head in the sun like you always do. 431 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,767 Yeah, and what's it got to do with you? 432 00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:02,900 I thought you was trying to be a good Muslim and that? 433 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,600 What's the point? 434 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:06,700 Sita's going in, isn't she? 435 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,100 Fucking arranged marriage bollocks. 436 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:14,133 Well, sort yourself out, Letitia, and the police. 437 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,433 Leave the arranged marriage to me. 438 00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:29,233 Oh good, I was worried I might have missed you. 439 00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:31,267 Would you take a look at that. 440 00:21:31,367 --> 00:21:33,433 It's all the fresh air, I think. 441 00:21:33,533 --> 00:21:35,467 We've had a trip out, to that woodland trail 442 00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:38,767 on the other side of the estate, Mere Bottom? 443 00:21:38,867 --> 00:21:39,900 Oh, you don't know it? 444 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,800 Oh, it's lovely, I'll take you there. 445 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,633 Get a nice picnic together, and-- 446 00:21:43,733 --> 00:21:45,000 what? 447 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,333 It's nothing. 448 00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:48,000 Oh come on, you can tell me. 449 00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:50,833 It's just, mum was complaining earlier 450 00:21:50,933 --> 00:21:52,133 that she never goes anywhere. 451 00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:53,667 Clearly she spoke too soon. 452 00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:56,967 It is quite common for a caree to be upset with the carer, 453 00:21:57,067 --> 00:21:58,700 especially in the early days. 454 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,600 They have expectations which can sometimes be unrealistic. 455 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:03,800 But not in your mother's case. 456 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:06,400 There'll be plenty of trips out, don't you worry. 457 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,333 I'm sorry. 458 00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,467 Don't be. 459 00:22:08,567 --> 00:22:12,033 She's your mom, and you want the best for her. 460 00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:14,433 And you can talk to me about anything, you know. 461 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:18,300 Not just in my capacity as a carer, but also as a friend. 462 00:22:31,067 --> 00:22:32,833 We prefer groups to book ahead. 463 00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:34,967 A little bird told what you're up to. 464 00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:37,133 A little bottle-blonde bird? 465 00:22:37,233 --> 00:22:39,500 It's time you were fucking off. 466 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,900 Give us the keys. 467 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,233 Keys! 468 00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:47,500 It's all right, it's all right, Bruno. 469 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,233 Don't fuck me about, cuntstick. 470 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:52,500 I can make you disappear for good. 471 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,567 You'd kill me. 472 00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:55,700 Nothing would give me greater pleasure. 473 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,400 Well, if you do that, then the tape of your little threat 474 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:02,233 will be in police hands before my body's cold. 475 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:03,500 Got it? 476 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,900 I like to think I'm fair, and I respect you 477 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,933 as a fellow businesswoman, so I'm going to 478 00:23:09,033 --> 00:23:13,567 up your protection fee to let's say, 20%? 479 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:16,067 Plenty of other firms will take it if you don't. 480 00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:21,400 Shane? 481 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,267 Maguire business. 482 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:23,500 Not Shane and Kelly business. 483 00:23:30,633 --> 00:23:31,433 Oof. 484 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,267 Libby? 485 00:23:51,367 --> 00:23:52,733 Shh. 486 00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:53,867 It's really early. 487 00:23:53,967 --> 00:23:55,333 I'm off to work. 488 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,733 No, don't go. 489 00:23:57,833 --> 00:23:59,167 Just go back to sleep. 490 00:23:59,267 --> 00:24:02,133 I think Jenny will be here later, take you out again. 491 00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:04,700 She's not kind. 492 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,567 Just go back to sleep. 493 00:24:06,667 --> 00:24:10,667 I think she's drugging me. 494 00:24:13,533 --> 00:24:14,367 See you later. 495 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,667 Don't go, please. 496 00:24:21,767 --> 00:24:23,233 If you need anything, ask Bruno. 497 00:24:23,333 --> 00:24:26,067 He'll report back to me on a weekly basis. 498 00:24:26,167 --> 00:24:29,333 I don't need anything, I just need you. 499 00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:31,400 Bonnie, love, you're upsetting me, 500 00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:32,967 and you're upsetting the girls. 501 00:24:33,067 --> 00:24:34,767 And you're wrecking people's lives. 502 00:24:34,867 --> 00:24:36,833 Oh, don't be so dramatic! 503 00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:38,467 It's business. 504 00:24:38,567 --> 00:24:41,567 Cut away dead wood, highlight the assets, 505 00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:43,600 maximize profitability. 506 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:44,600 What about us? 507 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,500 See you? 508 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,567 That yours? 509 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:47,833 - Duh! - Is it? 510 00:24:47,933 --> 00:24:48,967 Yes! 511 00:24:49,067 --> 00:24:50,333 Well, if you're so well off, why are 512 00:24:50,433 --> 00:24:52,433 you taking everything off me? 513 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:55,167 I haven't taken, Lillian, you've given. 514 00:24:59,467 --> 00:25:00,633 You all right? 515 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:01,733 No, but I will be. 516 00:25:06,367 --> 00:25:07,167 Ah! 517 00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:13,400 Ooh, ooh. 518 00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,233 Me leg! 519 00:25:15,333 --> 00:25:18,367 I think I've pulled my G string. 520 00:25:18,467 --> 00:25:19,367 Come on. 521 00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,567 Put your arm round. 522 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,067 Had to slip into something a little more cooler. 523 00:25:34,167 --> 00:25:35,567 Think something's wrong with central heat, 524 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,167 it keeps on playing up. 525 00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:38,467 Brought you a drink, too. 526 00:25:38,567 --> 00:25:40,333 So where's this thing you want me to put up? 527 00:25:40,433 --> 00:25:41,067 Oh, that. 528 00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:44,633 Oh, I managed it, ta. 529 00:25:44,733 --> 00:25:45,633 [music playing] 530 00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,067 Sorry, I tripped or something. 531 00:25:54,167 --> 00:25:55,267 Let me dry it for you. 532 00:25:55,367 --> 00:25:57,533 It's all right, it's all right. 533 00:25:57,633 --> 00:25:58,533 No, come on. 534 00:25:58,633 --> 00:26:00,200 Leave it! 535 00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,033 It's a bit embarrassing. 536 00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:09,300 I've got this skin thing, like excema, but worse. 537 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,800 It's flaky, comes off in sheets, and it's contagious. 538 00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:14,267 I'm not bothered, Carl. 539 00:26:14,367 --> 00:26:15,867 I am! 540 00:26:15,967 --> 00:26:17,200 My mum and dad are out. 541 00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:19,467 So who's this ugly lot then, JLS? 542 00:26:19,567 --> 00:26:22,467 Jay-Z, Tupac, Snoop. 543 00:26:22,567 --> 00:26:24,533 Oh, right. 544 00:26:24,633 --> 00:26:25,900 You don't like all that shit, do you? 545 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,267 Shit? 546 00:26:27,367 --> 00:26:28,933 Yeah, rap, it's music for middle class white kids, 547 00:26:29,033 --> 00:26:30,300 isn't it? 548 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,067 They're the only ones daft enough to listen to all 549 00:26:32,167 --> 00:26:34,033 the pretend gangster bollocks. 550 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:52,667 How do you know if your kid's got a nut allergy? 551 00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:54,600 I don't know, just give him one I suppose, 552 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:55,833 and see what happens. 553 00:26:55,933 --> 00:26:57,800 Give us a pack of dry roasted, will you? 554 00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:59,900 She's a bit young, isn't she? 555 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,133 Salted then. 556 00:27:02,233 --> 00:27:04,567 Might go up to Mere Bottom again. 557 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:05,733 Lovely. 558 00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:06,833 Thanks, Libby. 559 00:27:06,933 --> 00:27:08,667 Look who I bumped into. 560 00:27:08,767 --> 00:27:09,900 Hiya. 561 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,267 That's me done. 562 00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:13,333 Oh, could I have an orange juice, please, and-- 563 00:27:13,433 --> 00:27:14,533 Pint. 564 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,667 I could have one myself, little post-work tipple. 565 00:27:17,767 --> 00:27:19,867 It's not as if I have to rush back and attend to mother, 566 00:27:19,967 --> 00:27:20,967 is it? 567 00:27:21,067 --> 00:27:22,300 So you're Patty's carer, are you? 568 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,367 Yeah. 569 00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:25,167 Must be nice, having her there to help. 570 00:27:25,267 --> 00:27:27,633 I can't fault you, honestly I can't. 571 00:27:27,733 --> 00:27:31,600 My grandad lived with us for years when I was a kid. 572 00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,433 He was losing his marbles, fucking torture. 573 00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:38,600 Don't get me wrong, loved him to bits, like you and your ma. 574 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,167 But it takes over your life, doesn't it? 575 00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:43,367 It completely takes over. 576 00:27:43,467 --> 00:27:44,967 It was a blessing when he eventually 577 00:27:45,067 --> 00:27:46,767 pegged it, know what I mean? 578 00:27:46,867 --> 00:27:47,700 [music playing] 579 00:27:53,967 --> 00:27:55,600 Parents, eh? 580 00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:56,533 Can't live with them-- 581 00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:57,833 And you can't kill them. 582 00:27:57,933 --> 00:27:58,733 [laughing] 583 00:28:03,733 --> 00:28:04,533 Yeah. 584 00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:05,900 Yvonne Karib. 585 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,867 She's there somewhere. 586 00:28:07,967 --> 00:28:10,767 It's me mum. 587 00:28:10,867 --> 00:28:12,967 Sorry, is there anyone there who understands English? 588 00:28:13,067 --> 00:28:15,800 In It's Pakistan. 589 00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:17,233 Carl told me everything. 590 00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:19,033 See if we can get the arranged marriage called off. 591 00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:24,567 I thought you wanted rid of me. 592 00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:25,500 Carl doesn't. 593 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,433 It's got fuck all to do with Carl. 594 00:28:27,533 --> 00:28:28,233 What's going on? 595 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,367 There is no arranged marriage. 596 00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:32,867 I made it up. 597 00:28:32,967 --> 00:28:34,567 Why? 598 00:28:34,667 --> 00:28:36,900 I'm a good Muslim girl studying to be a doctor, 599 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:37,900 and he's-- 600 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,667 He's not good enough for you. 601 00:28:39,767 --> 00:28:42,267 If you think you're better than him, you're wrong. 602 00:28:42,367 --> 00:28:44,000 He's getting me involved in all kinds of shit. 603 00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:45,233 Oh, boo hoo. 604 00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:47,200 The fucking police. 605 00:28:47,300 --> 00:28:48,933 I mean, how many junior doctors do you 606 00:28:49,033 --> 00:28:51,567 know with a criminal record? 607 00:28:51,667 --> 00:28:54,333 So I'm going to Pakistan, but just for the summer. 608 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:55,933 When I come back, I'll tell him I'm married, 609 00:28:56,033 --> 00:28:57,933 and then he'll have to leave me alone. 610 00:28:58,033 --> 00:29:00,067 If you go, you go for good. 611 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,667 I went to the cop shop. 612 00:29:08,767 --> 00:29:09,833 And? 613 00:29:09,933 --> 00:29:11,267 Told them it was me. 614 00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:12,733 Did they believe you? 615 00:29:12,833 --> 00:29:15,200 Not until I told them my name. 616 00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:19,600 Reckon I might get a caution, maybe community service. 617 00:29:19,700 --> 00:29:23,967 But the main thing is, you're off the hook. 618 00:29:24,067 --> 00:29:25,000 Saw Letitia. 619 00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:26,367 [crying] 620 00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:28,633 He just wasn't the person that I thought he was. 621 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:30,367 They never are, love. 622 00:29:30,467 --> 00:29:31,933 In a good way. 623 00:29:32,033 --> 00:29:35,533 And I proved that I can lead a pure life, like a good Muslim. 624 00:29:35,633 --> 00:29:37,133 I've even quit my job with the Maguires. 625 00:29:42,133 --> 00:29:45,133 I don't feel the same as you. 626 00:29:45,233 --> 00:29:48,667 We had a laugh, but it's time to move on now. 627 00:29:48,767 --> 00:29:50,467 Move on, grow up. 628 00:29:50,567 --> 00:29:53,600 No, no. 629 00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:54,767 I need to finish packing. 630 00:29:54,867 --> 00:29:55,867 Sita. 631 00:29:55,967 --> 00:29:57,333 You're nothing special, you know? 632 00:29:57,433 --> 00:30:01,833 Just some chavvy lad with a hard-on. 633 00:30:01,933 --> 00:30:03,167 Go on, fuck off. 634 00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:16,800 Home alone! 635 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:17,800 Hello, hello! 636 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,000 Sorry I'm a bit late. 637 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,033 I picked up a bit of shopping. 638 00:30:22,133 --> 00:30:23,433 Patricia? 639 00:30:23,533 --> 00:30:24,700 Where are you? 640 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,367 In here. 641 00:30:27,467 --> 00:30:29,467 Isn't Aidan a bit old for marbles? 642 00:30:29,567 --> 00:30:31,300 You ought to be careful, leaving these lying around, 643 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,600 someone could have an accident. 644 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:33,600 [buzzing] 645 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,567 [music playing] 646 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,467 Ahh! 647 00:30:47,567 --> 00:30:48,867 Mum! 648 00:30:48,967 --> 00:30:52,433 I've brought you back some chips for your lunchish tea brunch. 649 00:30:52,533 --> 00:30:54,133 I know you probably won't want them. 650 00:30:54,233 --> 00:30:56,700 But if I hadn't got you any, you'd just have pinched mine. 651 00:31:10,867 --> 00:31:13,000 This ropes too tight! 652 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:14,567 I know you're not going to run away, 653 00:31:14,667 --> 00:31:19,533 but I don't want you falling and hurting yourself. 654 00:31:19,633 --> 00:31:21,967 Not yet, anyway. 655 00:31:22,067 --> 00:31:23,300 The hurting comes later. 656 00:31:27,833 --> 00:31:28,733 [moaning] 657 00:31:28,833 --> 00:31:30,133 That's it. 658 00:31:30,233 --> 00:31:33,600 Good girl, yes, good girl. 659 00:31:37,367 --> 00:31:39,467 Medicine time for Jenny, too. 660 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:43,600 Ooh. 661 00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:51,433 I always wanted to go camping. 662 00:31:51,533 --> 00:31:52,433 Never could, though. 663 00:31:56,133 --> 00:31:58,067 Do you know why? 664 00:31:58,167 --> 00:32:00,067 My parents were sick. 665 00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:04,200 All my life, I've been smothered, confined, 666 00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:07,867 held back by sick, old people. 667 00:32:07,967 --> 00:32:12,200 Daddy fell ill shortly after I was born. 668 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,233 I wasn't allowed to do anything. 669 00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:18,367 No chocolates and television for Jenny, 670 00:32:18,467 --> 00:32:22,967 for fear of disturbing Daddy, . 671 00:32:23,067 --> 00:32:26,233 He lay on a bed in our front room 672 00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:30,867 dying throughout my entire childhood. 673 00:32:30,967 --> 00:32:33,500 And the smell, oh my. 674 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:38,033 Daddy eventually died when I was about to leave school. 675 00:32:38,133 --> 00:32:41,200 I decided on a career in medicine. 676 00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:43,733 Then Mummy fell ill. 677 00:32:43,833 --> 00:32:48,133 I had to look after Mummy, nurse her until she died. 678 00:32:48,233 --> 00:32:54,867 And when she did eventually die, after many, many, many, many 679 00:32:54,967 --> 00:32:59,100 years of sickness, I was free. 680 00:33:02,367 --> 00:33:03,600 [crying] 681 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:08,200 Libby needs her freedom, too. 682 00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:09,733 Do you understand? 683 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,533 Yeah, like a collateralized debt obligation, you know? 684 00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:25,033 A junior tranche will of the main default risk. 685 00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:27,400 So yeah, you'll have to offer them up. 686 00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:28,367 [knocking] 687 00:33:29,867 --> 00:33:30,867 Holy fuck! 688 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:31,933 It's a bit parky up here, cock. 689 00:33:32,033 --> 00:33:33,000 Can you let us in? 690 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,000 How did you get up here? 691 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:40,100 Window cleaner. 692 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:59,233 Have we met before? 693 00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:02,033 You think there's a big conspiracy? 694 00:34:02,133 --> 00:34:03,100 A revenge thing? 695 00:34:05,933 --> 00:34:07,967 Like you killed my sister? 696 00:34:08,067 --> 00:34:10,533 No, Lillian, we haven't met before. 697 00:34:10,633 --> 00:34:11,600 Are you sure? 698 00:34:11,700 --> 00:34:13,767 Name one place in the world you've been I 699 00:34:13,867 --> 00:34:15,100 would have wanted to visit? 700 00:34:15,967 --> 00:34:16,833 Lytham St. Annes? 701 00:34:16,933 --> 00:34:18,367 It doesn't make sense. 702 00:34:18,467 --> 00:34:21,133 If you're so successful, why pick on Chatsworth, and on me? 703 00:34:21,233 --> 00:34:23,433 You're a casualty of business, that's all. 704 00:34:23,533 --> 00:34:26,667 There were dozens before you, there'll be dozens after. 705 00:34:26,767 --> 00:34:29,133 Is there any way we could get back to where we were before. 706 00:34:37,467 --> 00:34:39,133 Before we met? 707 00:34:39,233 --> 00:34:41,933 No, I mean, Kelly and the girls are really upset, 708 00:34:42,033 --> 00:34:43,900 and I'd like to make it all right with them. 709 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,233 But at the same time, I don't want to lose you. 710 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:48,667 You still want some kind of relationship? 711 00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:52,500 A mother's love is unconditional. 712 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,167 Maybe you should move on, then. 713 00:35:43,267 --> 00:35:44,533 Find somebody your own age. 714 00:35:44,633 --> 00:35:46,233 Some brain-dead lad who smells of yoghurt, 715 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:48,833 and has pictures of Shakira all over his bedroom walls? 716 00:35:48,933 --> 00:35:49,967 No, ta. 717 00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:51,067 [music playing] 718 00:35:57,767 --> 00:35:59,800 Yeah. 719 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:01,033 No. 720 00:36:01,133 --> 00:36:02,667 AN if Carl Gallagher thinks this is over, 721 00:36:02,767 --> 00:36:04,367 he's got another thing coming. 722 00:36:04,467 --> 00:36:06,167 This is just the beginning. 723 00:36:09,067 --> 00:36:10,633 All right. 724 00:36:10,733 --> 00:36:15,267 Time I was heading home, see how my bidding's going on Ebay. 725 00:36:15,367 --> 00:36:17,667 Charles and Diana Royal Wedding china 726 00:36:17,767 --> 00:36:20,000 mug, starting big a pound. 727 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:20,967 Can you believe that? 728 00:36:21,067 --> 00:36:22,567 Ah. I'm frightened. 729 00:36:22,667 --> 00:36:23,700 And I'm not? 730 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:24,767 I've got to walk back on my own. 731 00:36:31,433 --> 00:36:33,733 I-- I'm too young to die. 732 00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:34,900 Hardly. 733 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,600 I haven't said my goodbyes. 734 00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:37,867 To who? 735 00:36:37,967 --> 00:36:38,800 My daughter! 736 00:36:38,900 --> 00:36:39,900 Only thing I have. 737 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,867 Don't pretend you love her now. 738 00:36:41,967 --> 00:36:43,933 But I do! [cackling] 739 00:36:44,033 --> 00:36:48,100 You won't get very far with flat tires! 740 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:49,233 LIBBY: Mum! 741 00:36:49,333 --> 00:36:50,233 Mum! 742 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:51,267 Libby! 743 00:36:51,367 --> 00:36:52,167 Libby! 744 00:36:55,700 --> 00:36:58,667 Oh, oh. 745 00:36:58,767 --> 00:37:01,967 She should be home, not out here in the cold! 746 00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,400 She's drugging me! 747 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:07,100 You and me, we're like Thelma and Louise. 748 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,600 I hate to see you suffer, Libby. 749 00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:13,033 I don't want you to go through what I had to go through. 750 00:37:13,133 --> 00:37:14,000 It's not fair. 751 00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,567 What are you saying? 752 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:16,967 We'll leave her! 753 00:37:17,067 --> 00:37:18,267 Here? 754 00:37:18,367 --> 00:37:20,700 It won't be murder, or even assisted suicide. 755 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,567 It'll be natural causes, exposure. 756 00:37:22,667 --> 00:37:24,067 She my mum! 757 00:37:24,167 --> 00:37:26,067 She's a burden on us both. 758 00:37:26,167 --> 00:37:28,700 Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. 759 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,933 You're sacked! 760 00:37:30,033 --> 00:37:32,433 No, no I'm-- 761 00:37:32,533 --> 00:37:34,067 I'm your friend. 762 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:38,467 You're not, you're really not. 763 00:37:38,567 --> 00:37:40,867 Come on, Mum, let's get you out of here. 764 00:37:40,967 --> 00:37:41,867 Look out! 765 00:37:41,967 --> 00:37:43,033 [screaming] 766 00:37:45,933 --> 00:37:47,267 You can't be serious. 767 00:37:47,367 --> 00:37:48,833 Time to say goodbye! 768 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,000 [yelling] 769 00:37:59,933 --> 00:38:00,800 [grunting] 770 00:38:04,467 --> 00:38:05,233 Sorry Mummy. 771 00:38:05,333 --> 00:38:06,433 I'm not your Mummy! 772 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:08,433 I'm not your Mummy! 773 00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:14,800 [crying] 774 00:38:17,467 --> 00:38:19,633 I love you, Mum! 775 00:38:19,733 --> 00:38:20,567 Be careful. 776 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:21,533 My new coat! 777 00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:22,500 Now come on, now. 778 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:23,700 Get me home. 779 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:24,667 [crying] 780 00:38:30,033 --> 00:38:32,333 The other week I went out with my friend 781 00:38:32,433 --> 00:38:34,667 to celebrate my birthday. 782 00:38:34,767 --> 00:38:36,000 my 17th. 783 00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:38,267 We had dinner in this restaurant, 784 00:38:38,367 --> 00:38:41,867 drank champagne, and ended up in bed back 785 00:38:41,967 --> 00:38:45,367 in this really zsuzsi hotel. 786 00:38:45,467 --> 00:38:50,000 That was my first time, the first time I had sex. 787 00:38:54,900 --> 00:38:57,933 Sex that I wanted. 788 00:38:58,033 --> 00:39:02,000 I'd done it before, but never wanted to. 789 00:39:04,733 --> 00:39:10,800 I was forced to, to make money. 790 00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:15,700 Men, all queuing up to fuck me, fuck every part of me, 791 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,000 and film me. 792 00:39:17,100 --> 00:39:21,333 Group sex, one-on-one, humiliation, domination, 793 00:39:21,433 --> 00:39:24,600 it's all the internet for everyone to see. 794 00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:28,567 And I did it all, all from being ten. 795 00:39:33,267 --> 00:39:39,800 Ten years old, I was put on the game, by my mum. 796 00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:46,600 Not stepmother, my actual, unconditional loving mother. 797 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,600 I'd prefer cup of tea. 798 00:40:04,700 --> 00:40:08,300 This is 200 quid a throw stuff, this. 799 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,567 Why would anyone want to spend 200 pound on a drink? 800 00:40:11,667 --> 00:40:13,500 And what's all this? 801 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,167 This place, your car. 802 00:40:16,267 --> 00:40:18,800 Why would anyone want all this stuff? 803 00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:20,100 Wouldn't you? 804 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,867 Oh now, I'd be awake half the night wondering 805 00:40:21,967 --> 00:40:24,200 if it was safe and that. 806 00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,300 There's more important things in life than stuff. 807 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:28,333 Like? 808 00:40:28,433 --> 00:40:29,333 Us. 809 00:40:29,433 --> 00:40:30,867 There is no us. 810 00:40:30,967 --> 00:40:32,267 There isn't. 811 00:40:32,367 --> 00:40:34,567 I saw your face that day when I adopted you, 812 00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:36,100 and you took my name. 813 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,467 I can't believe that's it. 814 00:40:37,567 --> 00:40:39,233 You You're a bit too hold for a formal adoption, 815 00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:43,400 but a legal name change, that's a step in the right direction. 816 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:46,800 Welcome to the family, Bonnie Tyler. 817 00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:47,800 Thanks, Mum. 818 00:40:51,267 --> 00:40:55,033 It was all bollocks, Lillian, part of the plan. 819 00:40:55,133 --> 00:40:56,500 I didn't give two shits. 820 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,033 The best actresses in the world 821 00:40:58,133 --> 00:41:01,100 are Farrah Fawcett, Mary Streep, Barbara Knox-- 822 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,433 they couldn't look like you did that day. 823 00:41:04,533 --> 00:41:05,733 That wasn't fake. 824 00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:08,800 I looked into your eyes and we were both a bit teary. 825 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,633 Hay fever. 826 00:41:10,733 --> 00:41:14,000 I saw what I saw, and I know what you thought. 827 00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:16,633 And that look that you had, that was real. 828 00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:21,567 [music playing] 829 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:44,300 One last thing. 830 00:41:47,367 --> 00:41:48,233 [groaning] 831 00:42:02,567 --> 00:42:04,067 [grunting] 832 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,567 I used to want things, then I realized 833 00:42:11,667 --> 00:42:14,300 that stuff isn't important. 834 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:19,167 True happiness is what lies inside yourself. 835 00:42:19,267 --> 00:42:22,600 This might sound a bit daft, but I've met a lot people, and out 836 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:26,000 of everyone in this world, or in the previous life, 837 00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:28,233 you are the only person that reminds me of myself. 838 00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:33,433 You and me are the same person. 839 00:42:33,533 --> 00:42:35,900 What the fuck are you on about? 840 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,867 Me and my mum, and you and yours. 841 00:42:37,967 --> 00:42:39,600 The only difference is, yours loved you. 842 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,233 Did she, fuck? 843 00:42:43,333 --> 00:42:44,567 She stayed with you. 844 00:42:44,667 --> 00:42:46,467 Mine didn't, she left me on the doorstep. 845 00:42:46,567 --> 00:42:50,467 Your mum must have loved you, she kept you. 846 00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:54,133 Now, I'm not like my mum, I won't walk out on you. 847 00:42:54,233 --> 00:42:56,167 You've got me for life, and there's nothing 848 00:42:56,267 --> 00:42:58,667 you can do to separate us. 849 00:42:58,767 --> 00:43:00,600 I love you. 850 00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:03,167 And you don't have to say anything back, it's OK. 851 00:43:03,267 --> 00:43:04,533 Silence speaks volumes. 852 00:43:10,433 --> 00:43:13,267 There's nothing I want from you, although the keys would be 853 00:43:13,367 --> 00:43:15,667 nice, and things to get back to where they 854 00:43:15,767 --> 00:43:17,467 were with Kelly and the girls. 855 00:43:17,567 --> 00:43:20,567 I won't put any pressure on you, I won't be coming round. 856 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,433 I'll just wait for you to come to me, 857 00:43:22,533 --> 00:43:24,333 and you'll always be welcome, darling. 858 00:43:28,767 --> 00:43:29,567 [crying] 859 00:43:29,667 --> 00:43:31,500 [music playing] 860 00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:06,800 Bye sweetheart, love you. 861 00:44:14,300 --> 00:44:16,467 LILLIAN: (VOICEOVER) Kids can be horrible to their mum. 862 00:44:16,567 --> 00:44:17,533 Little kids, you know. 863 00:44:17,633 --> 00:44:19,633 You see them shouting, throwing tantrums, 864 00:44:19,733 --> 00:44:21,367 even hitting their mums. 865 00:44:21,467 --> 00:44:23,867 Nobody else on Earth puts up with that. 866 00:44:23,967 --> 00:44:25,400 If you'd behave like that with anyone else, 867 00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:28,767 you'd fetch up with no friends, no boyfriend, 868 00:44:28,867 --> 00:44:30,333 but you'd always have a mum. 869 00:44:30,433 --> 00:44:32,733 Mums make you soup when you're poorly, tuck you 870 00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:34,267 into bed at the end of the day. 871 00:44:34,367 --> 00:44:35,900 And someone to give you a hug when 872 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,800 you've had your heart broken. 873 00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:41,100 There's no one else who'll do that for you, 'cept your mum. 874 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,633 If you're lucky enough to have one, that is. 875 00:44:43,733 --> 00:44:45,067 I never had one, me. 876 00:44:45,167 --> 00:44:47,133 I made me own soup, tucked myself 877 00:44:47,233 --> 00:44:48,967 in, and looked after myself. 878 00:44:49,067 --> 00:44:53,833 It can harden you, that, make you tough, cold-hearted, or it 879 00:44:53,933 --> 00:44:55,233 you can make you care. 880 00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:57,700 Make you want to look after someone else, someone 881 00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,767 less fortunate than yourself. 882 00:44:59,867 --> 00:45:01,933 Make you into a mum. 883 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:02,867 [theme song playing] 884 00:45:02,967 --> 00:45:04,867 Ba ba da ba. 885 00:45:04,967 --> 00:45:08,433 Ba ba da ba da ba. 886 00:45:08,533 --> 00:45:11,400 Ba ba da ba. 887 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:14,833 Ba ba da ba da ba. 888 00:45:14,933 --> 00:45:17,400 Ba ba da da. 889 00:45:17,500 --> 00:45:20,633 Ba ba da ba da ba. 890 00:45:20,733 --> 00:45:29,767 Ba ba da ba da ba ba da ba ba ba da ba ba da ba ba ba. 891 00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:46,000 The team won the game and the cup, 892 00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:49,033 and they all lived happily every after. 893 00:45:49,133 --> 00:45:54,200 Now, go on, boys, line up while Grandma gets ready.