[filmrise theme]
[theme music]
[dog barking]
Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express.
Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives
they were given by Him upstairs and kids
they're convinced aren't actually theirs.
Stay away.
What sounds on Earth could ever replace kids needing
money or wives in your face?
[scream]
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
is why pubs and drugs were kindly
invented to calm us all down and stop us going mental.
These are Chatsworth's Estate's basic essentials.
We are worth every penny for grinding your axes.
You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes.
[laughter]
Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers.
Who'd come on your face for the price of a beer?
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
Scatter.
Party.
SHANE (VOICEOVER): Batman's drowning his sorrows
in the corner of a bar.
Some Joker starts a fight.
It gets out of hand.
Glasses flying.
So why don't he step in?
Because he's not Batman.
He's one of them whinging Fathers for Justice twats.
Now, don't get me wrong.
Having kids is great.
You can make good money from them.
But why would you want to ruin a good thing
by having one of your own?
Who's the fucking daddy?
What's that?
Ah.
Is that spending money your granddaddy's giving you?
Big girls need to look after their money.
What have we got back here?
Don't forget to water down the spirits.
And there's a brewery delivery at 5:00 tomorrow.
I've cooked and frozen enough meals for the pair of you
to last until me and Katie get back from Brighton.
All you have to do is ping it and eat it.
Ta, Mum.
Have a good 'un.
Ay.
I've got it all planned.
After I've dropped Katie off at her dad's, it's
sea, shopping, and cock--
ling.
A favorite pastime of mine.
A Sunday was never a Sunday without a trip
to the cockle beds of New Brighton.
A weekend trip once in a blue moon to see her dad.
It's not right, is it?
She'll be in tears on that train ride back up here Sunday night.
And who'll be left to pick up pieces?
Us, as per usual.
What the fuck you playing at?
Eh?
Oi.
JIMMY: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Do you know who you're messing with?
Where's my money, eh?
Take it outside.
Go on.
You know he thinks he's invincible
because Chesney and Carl are wanted for what he did.
Not one fucking person believes he did it.
He's taking liberties.
Dad, he needs putting in his place.
You gonna miss your Grandaddy, yeah?
Give us a kiss.
[lips smack]
Take care, sweetheart.
MIMI: Right.
Come on, Katie.
Say bye-bye. See you all.
Goodbye.
KAREN: Bye, darling.
What is it with you and my family?
You must mean Carl.
Cos I ain't got around to Liam yet.
Main road as it was then.
Cockneys with fear in their eyes looking for cabs in Moss Side.
Proper football, you know.
Total football.
Pie and a pint, not a prawn sandwich in sight.
It was a time when players fought for the badge,
not the money.
[sniff]
Good men, good, honest family men.
Just-- just like meself.
We stood on those terraces, man and boy.
Hand-in-hand.
You and me.
We can do it again, son.
Eastlands.
MAN: Put something else on telly.
Hmph. MAN: Turn it over.
Please, Carl, just come home.
[cheering]
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Oh, police want to interview me, she says.
What I actually said was you're
wanted for a police interview.
Yeah.
And I'm dragged in for a televised
appeal begging the little tosspots to come home.
You were crying.
Me eyes were watering.
I have an allergy to high pressurized situations.
He's your son.
He made his bed. Let him lie in it.
Crocodile tears dried up, have they?
Just the usual.
No more smartass remarks.
If that was one of my mine, I'd
be out there turning every last stone,
not drowning my pitiful sorrows or crying like a big girl's
corset on national television.
[scoffs]
With a father like you is it any wonder the kid did a runner.
Guilty as charged, Paddy.
What I think the author is trying to say
is that we mustn't give up on the ones we love.
And would anyone like to read a passage that
encapsulates that sentiment?
Come on, Margaret. You, you.
Face it, Libby.
It's not the lure of literature, it's the free plonk.
My place, Saturday.
Italian night.
Carbonara, "Captain Corelli's Mandolin."
[scoffs] We'll never get that read in time.
I'll rent the DVD.
It's better than pissing about with the books.
BOOK CLUB WOMAN: Yeah right.
Drink to that.
Sorry.
MAXINE: It's not your fault. Classic
post-traumatic malfunction.
Two options.
Half a Viagra and a glass of grapefruit juice, or you
go to the police and get closure.
They won't believe me.
You're a canvas of evidence, Ian.
Jimmy's on a suspended.
If the police can't touch him for Bonehead's murder,
he'd go down for this.
And then there's nothing to stop Carl from coming home.
Is that what this is about?
You want him to come back, don't you?
No.
What?
He's a fucking trouble magnet.
Everything he touches turns to shit.
I thought you would have sussed that out by now.
Ugh.
PADDY: Where is he?
[cell ringing]
Bacon, to what do I owe the honor?
Search warrant.
They're ripping the place apart as we speak.
They're not going to find anything embarrassing,
are they, Frank?
Well, there's Libby's love bunny under the pillow.
She meant drugs, you twat.
I meant evidence that would put Carl behind bars.
Carl's an innocent man.
PADDY: [clears throat]
Not that it's any of my business.
But a little bird has just told me
the cops have confirmed that blood found on clothes taken
from Chesney's is Boneheads.
Pint.
The fuck are you looking at?
So that's what you think now, is it?
My Carl's guilty.
Doesn't matter what I think Gallagher,
the evidence is mounting.
OK.
Thick as pig shit, maybe Brains wired directly
into his testicles, definitely.
But a murderer?
Come on!
We all know who's really responsible.
Oh my.
You got something you want to say?
My son is innocent.
Well, tell that to the police.
Am I the only one that has had enough of this gobshit?
[glass shatters]
Now, fuck off before I fucking beat you.
[yelp]
Not on my patch, son.
You're a small fry.
Not worth the effort.
But lay one finger on any of mine again,
and you'll see I'm not above fishing for tiddlers.
Now, get!
Go on!
Nice one, dad.
[cell ringing]
Hi, mum.
All right. Yeah.
OK. I'm on me way.
PADDY: What's got into you?
What's this about, Shane?
I'm celebrating.
Celebrating what?
Freedom.
A life of do what you want to do whenever the fuck you--
you want to do it. Freedom.
What are you on about?
You and me, come on.
The two of us forever.
Get off.
Have you two had a barney?
No.
What the fuck was all that about in the pub then?
You better have a damn good reason for pulling that stunt.
I double check negative results.
I'm never wrong.
You're firing blanks.
[retching]
Sperm donation was hardly going to make
you a millionaire, was it?
Although plenty of wankers are.
Hey, it wasn't about the money.
It was--
What?
You said you didn't want kids.
And you agreed.
Yeah.
I was fine with it then.
But just seeing our Jamie with Connor,
little Katie legging around.
Me and you looking out for Stella and Liam.
Just got me thinking.
You know, thoughts that I never even thought of.
I was feeling stuff that I never thought I'd feel.
Oh, so you thought I'll knock one off in a clinic
and with a bit of luck in nine months
time there'll be a little me knocking about somewhere.
Kelly, everywhere I look I see babies.
Then, stop looking.
Fuck's sake, Shane.
You know, and I know it's an impossible dream.
Just get over it.
Here you go, Mum.
Oh.
Oh God.
You might as well walk around with targets on your back.
Sometimes you have to put yourself at risk
for the things you believe in.
And the people you're supposed to love.
Look at the suffragettes, Tiananmen Square,
Greenham common.
History is shaped, Frank, by people standing
up for what they believe in.
Yeah?
A dead hero's no hero, son.
[window shatters]
They're onto you already.
Get down!
Get down.
Get cut?
Get out.
Police please.
This is Libby Croker and Frank--
What the fuck are you doing?
I thought you had more backbone than that.
She really doesn't know you, does she?
Take it from someone who's had years of experience
getting their ass kicked.
Best course of action, shut the fuck up
and keep your head down.
We have to stand up to them, Frank.
Well, best of luck with that, Mum.
God Almighty.
All they've got is Sammy's stupid statement.
Big deal.
It's her word against ours.
Two against one.
What?
It's not just the statement.
They raided your house and found some clothes
covered in Bonehead's blood.
They've got you down for murder and Carl as your accomplice.
I didn't even know they were trying for kids.
I wonder if it tastes any different.
You know, like you can always tell if lager's
non-alcoholic or cola's diet.
I'm just saying.
Kelly would have known already, wouldn't she?
All the spam javelin she has.
It's a terrible affliction for a man.
So we put our heads together and come up with a solution.
Someone's a bit down in the dumps.
Chocolate's a dead giveaway.
Unless it's a substitute for Ian not giving you enough.
Yeah.
Or maybe it's just because I'm hungry.
Can you put one of these up in your window?
Go and get us another one.
Give us 10.
Nice one.
What's the point?
Carl and Chesney are a pair of selfish bastards.
Bit out of order.
Everyone's going to hell because of him.
Windows smashed in.
House terrorized.
But that's nothing compared to not knowing where he is,
what's happened to him.
Well, he's fucked up, hasn't he?
What's out of sight is out of mind.
He doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself.
[cell ringing]
Why didn't you call me?
And put you at risk?
You can't tell anyone we're here.
If Jimmy finds out, we're all dead.
And if the cops get us, we're going down.
How's Ian?
Angry.
Scared.
Hurt. So what's the plan?
Have I got to do everything around here?
I need your little black book.
Make it quick.
I want you to retract your statement.
I'm sticking by what I saw.
But you didn't see anything.
Everybody knows Jimmy did it.
Without your statement Carl and Chesney can come home.
And Jimmy could go down.
He's my brother.
And he's ruining your life.
What Bonehead did was wrong, but he
didn't deserve to die for it.
What, is Jimmy going to do that to every bloke that disses you.
He cares about me.
He controls you.
Just like he controls everybody around here.
You are just as trapped as Carl and Chesney.
If you could see what this is doing to 'em, Sammy.
They're back.
Jesus.
They're back.
What are you talking to this sweat for?
She just told me Carl and Chesney have been in touch.
They've decided to stay where they are till they
know it's safer for everyone.
In't that right?
Get out.
Hear from them again, say hello from me.
And tell Carl I'll keep an eye on Liam and Ian for him.
Make sure they don't come to any harm.
Frank said I could get some literary advice here.
Did he?
That's great.
We're reading Captain Corelli's--
Actually, I was looking for help on the creative side.
Oh.
He said you charge a flat fee of 10%.
Me job seeker's allowance form.
It needs someone with a creative touch.
Cheers, Percy.
See you again.
Oh, right, Marge.
That's a flat rate, 10%.
No more.
Mm-mm.
What?
Just give us a minute here.
I've been wrestling with me conscience all morning.
Oh yeah. And who won?
This is benefit fraud.
I'm party to a crime.
They're not doing it for duck islands
and having their moats drained, are they?
It's not greed that's motivating them.
It's hunger.
Marge's husband, Arthur, was shot
in Afghanistan two years ago.
Do you think she gets any backup from the shitbags in power?
No.
She's still struggling to cope with the death
of a brilliant father and husband,
who just happened to be the only breadwinner in the family.
Your call, Lib.
Just give me a minute.
Is it the Afghanistan story again?
Yeah.
I think it's best.
How is the old bastard?
Still an old bastard.
Right.
Next please.
[knocking]
Oh right.
Come in, lads.
Now, just need to ask a few questions.
Name?
Good looking, guaranteed.
Don't think so.
Stick it in the fridge.
There's a good lad.
They can run it up the clinic later.
This one's not passed its sell by date, dad.
PADDY: Mine's tried and tested, five times over.
That I know about. - Yeah.
But I'm fresh. Virginal.
We'll toss for it.
Again?
I'm whacked out.
A coin.
PADDY: Three ways?
Between me and Micky.
At least, we're the same generation.
PADDY: Fair's fair.
Wisdom of Solomon.
We'll mix them.
What?
I was like full to bursting.
I hadn't had a blo-- ird for ages.
What's so important?
Well, IVF will cost you a fortune.
So we thought we'd all--
you know.
[laugh]
MICKY: We mixed it all up, so you won't know whose is whose.
But chances are it will be mine.
I knocked out six, and I'm a cracking swimmer.
So mine will be in there like swimwear.
You think Kelly will be up for it?
I didn't take to the idea meself at first,
but when you think about it, the DNA
will be near enough identical.
Nobody will know it's not mine.
Except me, you, your dad, Jaime-- oh, and Micky.
Faster!
Yes, mistress.
Tell your dad thanks for the offer,
but I'd rather die than have any part of him in me again.
Sorry.
Shane, I didn't mean--
[whip cracks] [yelps]
Oh, shut the fuck up.
[whip cracks]
MAXINE: She won't budge.
Not while Jimmy's around at least.
We're fucked.
Something will come up.
CHESNEY: Clothes with blood on them.
Statement from Sammy.
Footage from the phone for all we know.
We're fucked.
I'm calling mom.
Taliban's easier to deal with than this shit.
You'll never make it out the country.
Your names will be at every passport control desk
at every airport.
So what do we do, Joe?
Just wait here until they come for us.
No.
We wait here until we figured out our next move.
It'll be OK.
FRANK: Hello. - Stay here.
Empty your pockets.
Just a bit of business.
What you two do behind my son's back is your business.
Secret safe with me.
My silence is easily bought.
I'll have 60 fags as well.
MAXINE: Piss off, Frank.
Take anything else, and I'll break your fucking arms.
Well, I'll just pay a lickle visit to Ian then, shall I?
See what he has to say.
You OK?
If the writing on the wall is wrong--
if what I know about you is incorrect--
if you did it--
- What? - No.
Listen.
If you did it, I'm here with you.
Is that what you think?
Well, innocent men don't run, son.
Well, go to the police then.
Did you ejaculate both your brain cells.
Piss off before somebody else goes down in the crossfire.
Just leave, son.
There's fuck all here for you now.
I'm going nowhere.
Please, son.
Just go.
When Jimmy finds out that you're back, which he will, he'll--
I don't want to lose you, son.
And Ian's taken a hiding, and--
He's got Ian?
And he'll pick us off one by one.
Just go.
Hi, Lilian. Sorry we're late.
I've brought Liam as well.
I hope that's OK.
He's been here more time than half the vicars we service.
You know Trixie, Liam.
Yeah.
Didn't want to leave him on his own.
He's worrying himself sick about Carl.
Add a drop of that, love, while I stir.
What do you think?
Mm.
Lovely.
You having tea with us, Kelly?
What say you come around to ours, Liam?
Lillian's cooking ain't up to much.
That's lovely. That is.
Yeah.
But I know where your fingers have been.
You sure?
Yep.
Here we are, girls.
GIRLS: Oooh.
I'm starving.
I've been waiting for this.
Is that sauce homemade?
Carl?
If you don't fess up and get your slag
of a sister to tell the truth, I'll fucking kill ya.
I'm going down anyway.
It might as well be for something I actually did.
Fuck you.
You shouldn't have come back.
Jimmy, no.
Jimmy, in. No.
Come on then. SAMMY: Leave it.
JIMMY: Leave it. Leave it.
SAMMY: Come on.
JIMMY: You're dead, Gallagher.
Your whole family fucking dead. - Jimmy!
Shut up!
He needs sorting, Micky, and quick.
I want him out of my life once and for all.
I don't care what it takes.
[dog barking]
One of your five-a-day.
Two of your five-a-day.
I heard you're infertile.
You would have made a good dad.
Sorry I snapped earlier.
It's just you took me by surprise.
So you'll do it?
Touched as I am by the Maguire boys'
generous donation, the only things that matter to me
are the things we share.
Hm.
It's what we're about, Shane.
I don't want a baby unless it's something we can do together.
You could adopt.
I wouldn't have minded being adopted.
I mean it's a bit late now.
I'm way past the cute stage and into the mildly
alarming, potentially psychotic stage,
which I'm not by the way.
But try telling that to a prospective parent.
He's got a point.
Well, think about it.
What does Frank offer him and Stella?
Where's their positive male role model?
Where's their Shane Maguire?
Fuck.
Kell, that's it.
Hang on.
He only lives two doors away.
SHANE: No mom.
Dad AWOL, living in a pub.
Katie.
We could have her here.
We'd give her everything that Mandy would have wanted to.
What do you think?
Even if Lip agreed, which he wouldn't, we'd never
get past the social workers.
You're part of a minor gangster dynasty stretching
back to the potato famine, and I earn me living flat on my back.
LIAM: Why don't you just do it?
Don't tell anyone.
Don't attract any attention.
Bit more babysitting, bit more picking up from school.
A few more teas around at Uncle Shane's and Auntie Kell's.
You OK?
Dead on my feet.
New ward sister's getting on my wick.
She's only been there five minutes.
It's "do this, do that."
She seemed all right to me.
When she rang.
She were worried you might be ill, seeing as you hadn't
turned up to work for two days and you
weren't answering your mobile.
What's going on?
Carl's back.
What? When?
A
Couple of days.
Where is he?
You know what, on second thought, just don't tell me.
I don't want to know. - He needed help.
I couldn't just leave him, could I?
Why not?
Because he's a mate.
You're still in love with him.
No I'm not.
Bollocks.
I broke his heart to be with you.
Yeah.
And as soon as I can't satisfy you,
you go running back to him.
That's not fair.
I care about him the same way you should.
[scoffs]
He needs his brother, Ian.
[car horns honking]
[shouting]
Gallagher!
Come on, Carl.
Gallagher, get out here now.
[car alarm blaring]
[bats banging]
Going to fucking knock you out, Carl Gallagher.
Gallagher!
[glass shatters]
Gallagher!
You sure you want to do this?
OK.
No.
You're rushing it.
Yeah.
Just hold it steady.
You've got all the time in the world.
Just take it slowly.
Relax.
Cock.
[gun cocks]
Put your finger on the trigger and squeeze gently.
Really gently.
You feel it?
A bit more pressure and--
[gun clicks]
Right.
Where are the bullets?
Carl, you sure?
Have I got a choice?
You could disappear again.
It's not just about me anymore, is it?
It's affecting everyone. - Like me as well?
Yeah, Micky. You as well.
- Let me do it. - No.
Wrap a towel round it.
It keeps the noise to a minimum.
Yeah.
Get as close as you can and aim for the chest.
The fuck you doing?
Carl, you're a decent, lad.
You don't do stuff like this.
He's going after my family, Joe.
What am I supposed to do?
Just sit tight for now. Yeah.
It's fucking kicking off out there.
Jimmy's mob's on the rampage.
You won't get close.
You only get one pop.
Don't ya?
You got to make sure your timing's spot on.
OK.
But tomorrow, he's dead.
He dies.
He fucking dies!
[inaudible]
Go on.
Burn!
Smash it!
Smash it.
Burn!
Gallagher!
Step out here now!
[glass shatters]
Your dad said you lot were the only ones off limits.
I'm glad you were listening.
What are you waiting for?
[glass shatters]
Tell Carl, if I can't get him, I'll get his family instead,
Liam, Ian.
Shouldn't be too difficult to find out where he lives.
I'll pick them fuckers off one by one, starting with his dad.
And I know exactly where he'll be.
Let's go, boys.
Well, you should take it as a compliment.
She's the finest MILF that Chatsworth has to offer.
You're staying the night.
When I said MILF, I wasn't actually suggesting--
In your dreams, Frank.
--that we'd do anything.
And stay up there.
- Jamie? - What's going on?
Get hold of Libby and Patty.
Tell them to stay put wherever they are.
We've got problems.
Jimmy.
We?
That's a Gallagher problem, not ours.
KAREN: Libby, it's Karen.
Karen Maguire.
Where are ya?
[car alarm blaring]
Where's Carl?
Gallaghers! Else
Sit down! Sit down!
Eh, little shit!
They're not here.
[glass shatters]
She said they're not here.
There's more of us than you.
It's not our fight unless you're
stupid enough to make it ours.
Fuck off.
Go on.
Fuck off!
You're all barred.
Anyone sees Carl Gallagher he comes to me.
You got it?
Let's go, boys.
You going to sort this or not?
I took a bullet from a kid not much older
than him a few months back.
And if you think I'm going to risk taking another
for a Gallagher, think again.
People are looking to you, dad.
Waiting for you to stand.
Then they'll be a long time fucking waiting.
[sirens blaring outside]
Is this the kind of shit you want for your son,
living like this?
No.
I need your help, mate.
You going to step up?
Fucking brilliant.
I want Jimmy.
He needs to learn a lesson on how
things are done around here.
And learn some manners.
Fuck off.
Like not speaking until he's spoken to.
Now, we backed off at first, because Jimmy's little problem
was his little problem.
But then he made it ours.
He got a bit too cocky.
Now, you think you've got contacts.
Make a call.
Your little scally mates will be round
as fast as their little BMXes will carry them.
You're fuck all without your dad anyway.
Unfortunately for you, you're wrong.
Ugh.
Now, you miserable bunch, you need to learn respect.
You've shown my family none.
You've shown the people of Chatsworth none,
and that will not be tolerated.
Not now, not never.
So give me Jimmy.
Now.
[footsteps]
PADDY: You heard the man.
Over to you, son.
[urine trickling]
[shouting]
JIMMY'S THUG: Please let me down.
Shane!
You're with me now, mate.
And I've got this feeling everything's going to be OK.
I need to find Carl.
He might need backup.
Carl'll be fine.
Take my word for it.
You stick with me.
[grunt]
I wanted to make sure you were OK.
IAN: What the fuck do you care?
There was a load of trouble last night.
There was a load of trouble last week
when I took a twatting for you.
I didn't see around here then, or maybe it's not me
you're interested in.
Oh, grow up.
I shouldn't have run.
I know that, and I wish I could change things, but I can't.
[cell rings] MICKY: Hi, dad.
No.
You can't
Just give him a chance.
Please, Ian.
Things can go back to the way they were.
No. They can't.
MICKY: Yeah?
Nice one.
Oh, that's perfect.
Yeah They can.
What the fuck?
What are you doing, Carl?
What I should have done at the start.
No need.
It's been sorted.
He wouldn't have done it anyway.
You know what?
The worst thing is I would, to make up for the shit
that I put you through.
Oh yeah. That's right.
Run after him.
MAXINE: I'm not running after him.
I'm leaving.
Max!
My name's Carl Gallagher.
Chesney Karib.
All right.
Uh, hi, Sarge.
Gallagher and Karib have just walked in.
Yeah.
I'll bring them to you.
Lip's getting married.
He's got a degree, a new job in London, a fiancee
with a figure like an hourglass and a rich dad.
Katie's going to live with him.
And he's going to be a proper daddy to her.
Great, isn't it?
It's-- it's brilliant.
Like shite it is.
But Katie looked so happy, son.
Much as I wanted to, I could hardly rip her away
from her dad's arms, could I?
You did the right thing, mom.
[knocking]
Yeah.
[sigh] You're all right.
I was so worried.
I couldn't sleep a wink at Lilian's.
Stiff sheets.
Funny shade of yellow.
Yes.
Lilian always gives the incontinence to visitors.
Oh.
Well, back in our own beds tonight.
- Our own beds. - Yeah.
Get back in your own room.
Nice one.
I'm getting off.
LIBBY: Aren't you still a fugitive?
Sammy's withdrawn her statement.
What about the clothes they found at Chesney's house?
They were Jimmy's.
Stupid git planted his own gear.
Got them to test the blood-stained clothes,
which proved they were his and not Chesney's.
Well, I'm glad you're home.
Is he in?
Liam.
Carl, you're back.
Long time, no see.
Have you trod in something?
Oh, you're joking me.
You're not coming in until it's all off.
Fancy a brew?
You fucking bastard.
[water dripping]
Clumsy as ever Mr. Bolton.
CARL: Why'd you do it? - Not now.
Yes now.
Ian wants you back, Max.
So do I.
That's the problem.
I'd always come between you, and I don't want to.
You were right to have the abortion.
You and me have a kid, could you imagine?
See, you and Ian, on the other hand, I can see that.
You love each other enough for that.
If it was Ian's, you wouldn't have got rid of it.
And that bothers you, does it?
A big dent in your ego.
No.
You and me are just mates.
You and Ian are soulmates.
SHANE (VOICEOVER): I had the weirdest dream last night.
I was sat in The Jockey, having a drink with Spider-Man,
and he tells me being at the birth of your child is
like being introduced to the most
important person in your life.
Now, I can get that.
Just because you can't have kids, doesn't mean you
can't appreciate how special they are.
[sobbing]
Good night, Mum.
Good night, Dad.
Oi, don't fucking push it.
SHANE (VOICEOVER): Fathers for justice.
I wish I even qualified.
[theme music]
God, have I been looking forward to you.
[screaming]
Don't fight it, Mimi.
You're only human.