[filmrise sound]
[siren]
[wings flapping]
[making sounds] Chickens this way for the Chatsworth express.
[cheering]
[inaudible] is making a mess of the lives that
we're given by him what serves.
And kids, they're convinced I'm actually theirs.
Stay away!
What sounds on Earth could ever
replace kids needing money?
I waved in your face.
[yelling]
Because these people reckon, and me included,
is why porn and drugs were kindly
invented to calm us all down.
Stop us going mental.
[yelling]
These are Chatsworthers' [inaudible] basic essentials.
We are worth every penny.
[inaudible] You shits [inaudible]..
What, you paying taxes?
[laughter]
Imagine a Blitzen without Chatsworth buccaneers.
[inaudible] price of a beer.
Make poverty [inaudible],, cheaper drugs now.
[laughing]
Little [inaudible].
[theme music playing]
[police siren]
[yelling]
KELLY: Choose wife.
Choose husband.
Choose pipe and slippers.
Choose a mortgage.
Choose a nice house.
Choose a patent concrete driveway.
Choose bedding.
Choose ironing.
Choose Sunday morning sex.
Choose eating a nice meal up a nice tree with pictures
of nice kittens on.
Sit in front of the telly watching "Lark
Rise to fucking Candleford."
[MUSIC - IGGY POP, "LUST FOR LIFE"]
LYRICS: Here comes Johnny Yen again
with the liquor and drugs, and the flesh machine.
[laughing]
KELLY: Choose to be part of the mainstream or don't.
Don't be part of the mainstream, be apart from it.
Don't be respectable.
[yelling]
WOMAN: Don't flog your guts out paying
a mortgage on a pile of rotting bricks the bank will repossess.
Or if you're lucky, your snot-faced kids will piss up
against your early gravestone.
[shouting]
WOMAN: Choose whatever you fucking well
want in order to get by, to have a laugh and to live, to drink
and to screw.
Not because there's nothing else to do,
cocker, but because it's what we want to do.
Get it.
[music playing]
LYRICS: Lust for life.
Lust for life.
Aye, he's back in, lads.
Now.
WOMAN: Don't think we've got enough posters
for what you asked. - We'll get some more.
All right, bruv.
All right.
Bottle of the fizzy stuff, please, [inaudible]..
Tell you something, it's getting too risky,
all this moody wedding stuff, you know.
It's only a matter of time before [inaudible]
pulls one of us or both of us.
[inaudible] time I knocked you on the head.
I'd rather knock you in the head.
He's right.
Five-O getting closer.
Eh?
Five-O?
Police?
Why don't you just say the fucking police then?
Bit of danger's good.
It's sexy.
It's not like I'm making much from it,
you know, after all the expenses and that.
That's why we have to do more for less.
Doing a full day of weddings, innit?
Do it without us.
We're out.
Since when?
There's too much of [inaudible]
to fuck it off night.
All right, one last time and that's it.
No more.
And the final [inaudible].
It's about time I met an honest woman [inaudible]..
We're getting wed.
[music playing]
LYRICS: Got lust for life.
Got lust for life.
[sighing]
Thought she should have been chuffed.
The only thing you can safely predict about women
is how unpredictable they can be.
Maybe she's on the blob.
Kelly, no.
Not for another week.
We have talked about it before, you know.
I was the one who was against it.
She always seemed dead up for it.
You want my advice?
You're better off staying as you are.
I mean, what's the point of wrecking what
you've got by getting married?
It's just a piece of paper.
I think it's the way you proposed.
You've got to be romantic.
She's right.
Women like to feel special, don't they?
Don't worry, son.
We'll all give it a hand.
[nursery music playing]
Is there anywhere we can talk?
Here.
Oh, he won't sail.
[nursery music playing]
Go on.
He's going to propose again.
You have to say yes.
[sighing] When me and Shane got together, we told each
other everything, no secrets.
What now?
I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.
Yeah, but--
I can't marry him if I don't tell him.
[sultry music playing]
It'll destroy him and you.
And you.
I don't want him to suffer.
Ditto.
[slamming]
MAN: She made me a promise tonight.
I clocked off an hour ago.
Clock back on.
[sultry music playing]
Go wash your cock in the sink and throw on a condom.
[music playing]
FRANK: Bar wench, is Karen around?
You have to deal with us.
Ah, little red waistcoated, fez wearing,
capuchin monkeys are giving it their all while the grinder
of the organ rests.
Pint and two E's.
Not gyro day today, is it?
Well, technically there isn't a gyro day
anymore due to the government--
[inaudible] next week.
[chimes]
[piano notes]
Tea up.
Oh, you're an angel.
Got a packet of your favorites too.
Hello, lovely.
FRANK: Hello.
Pub close?
WOMAN: No.
You all right?
Fucking pins and needles or something.
[coughing]
Please.
Tell me there won't be any smoking in here
when it's all done.
It's a terrible, selfish habit.
[coughing]
It'll be your room, mum.
There'll be No need for you to be in here, will there?
[harp scale]
[dramatic music playing]
[muffled moaning]
[coughing] Couldn't I just have one of the rooms upstairs?
No, no.
We'll get this room done.
It'll be right.
Make it dead posh, yeah.
Mushroom walls, biscuit carpet.
And if you don't like it, you can eat it.
[laughing]
What is he like?
It'll be no bother doing this room up.
There's a couple of decorators coming
around later to do us a call.
They can be a bit pricey, though.
Very pricey.
Hey, why don't I do it?
You?
Yeah.
I've painted more houses than [inaudible] and me.
I told you he'd want to help out.
Yeah.
I want some cash, you know, for materials.
How much will you need?
Well, if you want the decent stuff.
The greats and masters, [inaudible] to live.
Painting isn't a hobby, it's a way of life.
Like Francis Bacon, there's a true artist surrounded by death
on the face of the grotesque.
Fuck me, what's he on?
It would be quicker to tell you what he isn't on.
Yeah.
Don't get so close, might catch something.
It's a bit late for that.
Yeah.
Oh yes.
FRANK: Retribution by my--
Wanker.
We are carcasses roasting in the midday sun.
Mouths, events, pain, anguish just pouring out-- oh.
Fuck's-- hello, love.
I'm just having a pre-work swifter.
Chat with a mate of mine who's in the trade.
[glass falls]
He's very good at paper and [inaudible],,
so fuck's if his woodchip manger.
It's like Ulysses to him.
[chuckling]
FRANK: Would you like a drink? - No.
Would you buy me a case?
She asked that you buy me half a cider.
WOMAN: Do you think you'll get it all done today?
We'll see how it goes.
You know, it's just about getting the right paint.
I'll make him start tomorrow.
I'll break his back.
WOMAN: OK.
FRANK: OK.
[chuckling] Hey, I'm going to need a bit more cash.
[guitar chord]
Bruce is-- uh.
[instrumental music playing]
SHANE: Kel!
Kelly!
Kel!
Marry me.
[suspenseful music playing]
SHANE: Kelly Marie Ball, be my wife.
What do you say?
WOMAN: Go on, Kelly. [cheering]
- Go on. - Come on, Kelly.
WOMAN: Go on, Kel.
Kel, go on.
Go on, Kel.
MAN: Go on, Kelly. [cheering]
MAN: Go on. Come on, Kelly.
WOMAN: Come on, Kel.
MAN: You know you want to.
WOMAN: Kel, come on!
[suspenseful music playing]
MAN: There's definitely something wrong here.
Girls were throwing themselves underneath me
when I was your age, beating them off with a shitty stick
I were.
Had the house all to yourself and not had one single party,
it's fucking potty.
You having a party?
Yes, he is.
And you're invited.
So when?
Next--
[coughs]
Tonight.
I'm in.
[music playing]
Laters.
See you in a bit.
[music playing]
Pa-ching.
[chuckling]
[music playing]
[rap music playing]
OK.
Just don't get too hammered.
Kelly comes in--
Sorry I'm late.
Brandy please, Jamie, double.
- OK. - Kel.
WOMAN: Hi. - Hi, [inaudible].
I'll just get changed. I'll be right with you.
WOMAN: All right, see you in a minute.
[rap music playing]
You don't love me anymore?
Then why didn't you say no?
I didn't want to do it like that, Kel,
but everyone got involved.
Always a problem, other people.
Why now, Shane?
Why fix something that ain't broke?
Because it's-- because it shows
the world that we're together.
And we need that?
If you love me.
I do.
Then marry me, please.
No.
And that's it?
It's over?
I mean it, Kel.
I do.
[piano music playing]
OK.
It's over.
[melancholy music playing]
[electronic music playing]
Jimmy D.'s sister [inaudible]?
She's well into me.
[inaudible] don't go off with her tonight.
[inaudible]
[knocking]
[MUSIC - YEAH YEAH YEAHS, "DULL LIFE"]
[shouting]
It's not a problem, is it?
Look at you.
You're like a fucking Arabian prince or something.
Arabian prince?
[people cheering]
[music playing]
[whistling]
[dramatic music playing]
[MUSIC - THE SMITHS, "HOW SOON IS NOW?"]
[cheering]
[applause]
[dramatic music playing]
[inaudible]
Leave it.
She's only doing her job.
[inaudible] getting extras.
You're winding him up.
MAN: Oy, can't do that in here, love.
Got a game on.
It's all right.
Just keep your balls away from me, sweetheart.
Doesn't apply to you, tiger.
Do you fancy a bit of topless?
Something [inaudible] yourself.
[whistling]
Fuck you!
[yelling]
KELLY: Get off him!
[yelling]
[inaudible] fucking mad, you fucking-- hey!
Mad, he's--
Mine?
I'm fucking no one's!
You got that?
Oh, and it's a fucking pain, yeah?
That you're fucking anybody. - [inaudible].
Come on, son, come on.
Come on, come on.
[dramatic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
[club music playing]
Ches my main dude.
What's up, baby?
Nothing.
Me and [inaudible] are going to have sex.
[giggling] Hey, come with us.
You can [inaudible] like in the movies.
Is that all right?
No looking at me now.
[dj shouting]
[dance music playing]
[laughing]
[moaning]
[dance music playing]
[inaudible]
[suspenseful music playing]
Ches, what's the matter, baby?
Stop fucking with me.
GIRL: No.
[suspenseful music playing]
Stop, this isn't right.
Leave her, man?
[suspenseful music playing]
[moaning]
[club music playing]
[inaudible] a little bit like sisters.
They're actually mum and daughter.
All right.
Which one are you?
Another drink, ladies?
Yes, please.
OK.
Give us a hand, son.
What the hell are you playing at, hmm?
Look son, you deserve better.
She's just a whore, your words.
Move on.
[instrumental music playing]
Hello.
Just let yourselves in.
Oh, you already have.
WOMAN: He hasn't even started.
Like he was ever going to.
Can't believe you actually thought he would.
Where is he?
[jazz music playing]
Oh!
Oh, oh, ah.
[dance music playing]
FRANK: Lots of fucking words, right?
No jokes about Ironside or [inaudible] crossroads.
Christians and their Sunday open hours.
24-hour shoplifting, not a fucking prayer.
You have got it right, open all hours everyday.
Salaam.
[dance music playing]
[groaning]
Easy. Oh.
Mugged?
Yeah, every penny.
I'm really sorry I couldn't get the paint for you.
Well, not just for you, but for the--
GRAMMY: A broken ankle, you say?
Yeah. Oh.
That normally warrants nothing more than a pair of crutches.
And you get a wheelchair.
Oh, but the doctor was extremely specific.
Don't, do not put any weight on the affected foot whatsoever
or you could end up in one of them for life.
Blimey, so I said no.
Give it to someone who really needs it.
I'll just struggle on.
Come here, babe.
[jazz music playing]
But he insisted.
So no weight on it?
No.
No strenuous exercise, to take it easy.
Shouldn't struggle too much with that.
Anything I can do for you?
[humming]
[sighing] Fuck.
WOMAN: Good night, Frank.
[music playing]
[inaudible] mate.
Where did you get to?
All right, that [inaudible] bird.
Proper dirty bitch, isn't she?
Yeah, check this.
[dial tones]
[moaning on phone]
Sent it to a couple of mates already.
Give us your number, I'll send it to you.
[moaning on phone]
MAN: Told you to stay away.
She's my sister.
My sister!
[moaning on phone]
[dramatic music playing]
Where are you off to?
To find Kelly.
It's over, son.
There's nothing you can do to change it.
He's in his room.
Go on up.
Look what I won at the fundraising thing
down at the community center. - Well done.
Well done, son.
Oh, Your dad won't be allowed them.
Not these [inaudible] tablets.
You said they gave you some down at the hospital.
Extra strong painkillers, wasn't it?
WOMAN: Well, you can't go mixing alcohol
with prescription drugs.
It could kill you.
We don't want that, do we?
God forbid.
WOMAN: All right, best put them away then.
My house, my dad.
I'll put them away.
[jazz music playing]
You been out?
I can't do it, this act normal shit.
[dramatic music playing]
(ECHOING) I told you to stay away from me.
I can give you 60 on it.
You all right, Ches?
Someone got twatted last night.
You could carry your shopping in those bags of yours, mate.
[dramatic music playing]
(ECHOING) I told you to stay away.
[police siren]
(ECHOING) She's my sister.
My sister.
[ominous sounds]
MAN: (ECHOING) Told you to stay away.
[cracking]
She's my sister.
[cracking]
My sister.
[cracking]
[pounding]
[knocking]
I warned Bonnie to stay away from me.
Oh Ches, I was off my head [inaudible]..
I didn't know what I was doing.
He filmed us, sent it around. It got to our Jimmy here.
Put him in a coma.
Jimmy's got suspended on him.
[quiet music playing]
If he gets done for this, he'll be going down for a long time
and--
Look, I don't need you to tell me to keep my mouth shut.
[dramatic music playing]
[ringing]
Still there.
[ringing]
I think you should just--
He won't go until he's seen you.
[melancholy music playing]
Kel, I got it wrong, I know.
I can handle what you do, I can.
It's just-- just a job, like you said a million times before.
Honestly, there's not a man on this planet
you go with that could ever make me think any less of you.
[sighing]
Stick the kettle on, will you kid?
FRANK: Stay there, son.
If you want a brew, get your own.
How could I be expected to brew up?
Because there's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with you?
Oh yeah, how do you know?
Fucking professor of quadropology are you?
I know a fake when I see one.
Yeah, right back at you.
How dare you.
[coughing]
Well, one of you is not telling the truth.
[piano notes]
[women laughing]
[dramatic music playing]
KELLY: Well, give us a [inaudible] if he pops in,
yeah?
[inaudible]
[sighing]
Have you seen our Shane?
I've been calling him all day, keeps
going straight to voicemail.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
[piano music playing]
[sighing] It's all my fault.
KELLY: Not entirely.
PADDY: Despite everything over the years,
all that's happened, I [inaudible] in, all of it.
[melancholy music playing]
I always thought you and Shane would end up together,
stay together, you know.
[melancholy music playing]
[airplane engine]
[guitar notes]
[classical music playing]
[inaudible].
Like I said half an hour ago, we've seen this.
- No, we haven't. - We have.
We haven't.
Shh.
We've seen this one.
I fuck--
Can you smell that?
Other than you?
Something's burning.
[screaming]
[rock music playing]
Fire!
Well, thank you very much Benjamin fucking Button.
[coughing]
Fucking joke.
[rock music playing]
Please son, just give us a call, eh?
[door opens]
[door shuts]
Why?
To hurt you?
We [inaudible], you hear me?
Your brothers, my sons.
You took a piss at him, he fucked off, hurt me.
I wanted to hurt you.
Congratulations.
The second I sobered up, I got it wrong.
But you and your brothers left me.
You don't like being on your own, do you?
And why push everyone away, kids, wife?
Why?
I don't know.
You know, I'm the last one here.
You've done everything to try to get [inaudible] me,
knock me down, put me down.
Now this.
You-- You fucked the woman that I love.
Why would you want to hurt me so much, dad?
I'm sorry.
Prove it.
Feel the pain I feel.
Shane, you don't know what you're asking.
I do.
This could kill me.
[ominous sounds]
[melancholy music playing]
[sighing]
I know what I am.
And I know what I've done.
And I swear, I never wanted to hurt you.
I swear.
I never loved anyone like I love you.
I'll see you around.
[melancholy music playing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
Someone's been painting messages around the estate.
And?
So Asian kid did it, smashed his head in with a baseball bat.
Pow.
[making explosion sounds]
So I-- I know a couple people who saw it.
[door shuts]
What the--
Tada!
Some say it's the color of happiness.
They're wrong, obviously.
I did not pick that.
No, I couldn't get the color you wanted,
so I thought I'd give this a go.
Just do one wall, you know, and see what you thought.
Paint no more.
What?
You don't like it?
I'd never sleep.
Oh, well, if you're going to be like that.
If I even suspected that was deliberate.
It's like Liam says, the color of happiness.
[music playing]
Cheers, Bob.
You're a mate.
[chuckling]
So I just put a smile on your dear mother's face.
Tough call, I know, but I thought it was worth a try.
I'll be in the pub if you need me, hacking me ear off.
[music playing]
- What if he finds out? - He won't.
We give him the info and that's it.
I don't know, but if we go in there,
they might make us for being accessories or something.
[beeping]
MAN: Hey, you better check that, Carlo.
[chuckling]
[beeping]
MAN: What?
What is it?
Liam!
It's not mine.
Get off me.
What?
Nice kid, isn't he?
Don't I ever want to see your faces around Chatsworth again.
You got it?
Now go on.
Off you fuck.
[piano music playing]
PADDY: Hey, we've Got 17 weddings
booked, 17 grooms and one waiting for a blushing bride,
you.
[wedding march playing]
[applause]
You said you never loved anyone like you love me.
[applause]
Marry me.
[wedding march playing]
[applause]
[whistling]
[cheering]
[MUSIC - I AM KLOOT, "FERRIS WHEELS"]
LYRICS: I don't know who I am.
I don't know who you are.
But when I touch your hand, I see shooting stars.
I see Ferris wheels, curling walls of steel and light.
The long distance calls over twisted wires.
Some last heartfelt words caught up on the line.
We speak through satellites that hang like the stars
at night in the sky.
KELLY: You trickle along through life minding your own business
until one day, bang, someone steps in front of you,
stops you in your tracks, leans in to kiss you,
and rips your heart right out of your chest.
And it's all right, you know.
It doesn't hurt, not at first, not so
long as they look after it and maybe
give you theirs in return.
And you might be lucky that the last person
to rip your heart out is the one who will look after it,
the one who will wrap it in tissue paper and tinsel
and stars.
LYRICS: I see Ferris wheels, curling walls of steel.
KELLY: Being married means you join a club.
You see a lot of other people with rings on their fingers
and you go, oh yeah, I did that.
I stood up in front of the world and told someone
that I love them, and I wanted to be with them
for the rest of my life.
And it really doesn't matter how you
do it, [inaudible] way you do it,
just as long as there's truth and honesty.
If there's no truth and honesty, then it
would be love, no beauty.
LYRICS: We speak through satellites
that hang like the stars at night in the sky, in the sky.
[upbeat music playing]
[jazz music playing]
[screaming]
[filmrise sound]