[music playing]
Tickets this way for the Chatsworth express.
Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the life
were given by 'em old selves.
And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs.
Stay away!
What sounds on earth could ever replace
Is kids needing money or wives in your face?
'Cause this, people reckon, and me included,
is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented.
To calm us all down, stop us going mental.
These are Chatsworth Estates' basic essentials--
Whoa!
We are worth every penny for grinding your axes.
You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes.
[laughter]
Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth Buccaneers
who'll come on your face for the price of a beer.
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
[laughter]
Scatter!
Party!
PADDY (VOICEOVER): Discussion groups,
chat lines, support networks.
The new Millennium.
The age of the all vocalizing, all emoting fuck up.
Normal men and women spewing the contents
of their troubled souls into the ears of the uninterested,
excreting the sorry wist of their emotional energy
into all manner of public places--
pubs, telly, newspapers.
If only they'd zip it and heed their inner voice,
the one that never lies, the one that
screams at you at the dead of night.
Why?
'Tis better to remain silent than be thought a repressed old
fart than open one's mouth and be discovered
a bubblin', self-obsessed fool.
[music playing]
Whereas family is concerned, Paddy Maguire's
never been less than generous.
But a 50 gram blow would knock any man.
Mom.
Settlement.
She set the business up with me,
so it's only fair she should get half the spoils.
But memories of our time together aren't going
to keep me comfy in my old age.
I need to make serious hay now.
There's a recession on, so people are wiped.
Skiny.
So they borrow money, then what?
Can't pay it back.
And when these desperado's want
to forget about what monumental fuck ups our lives have become,
they do what?
Get off their heads.
Drug sales soar.
Economic gloom equals a payday boom.
And I want you in on it.
I want Manchester to know that Maguire
and sons are back in business.
- Not for me, Dad. - Not for?
Count me in.
Hang on a minute, what do you mean?
We could make a killing out there.
What the fuck are you on about? - I've got a family.
Good of you to remember.
I've got Karen and Connor to think of now.
You're working your fingers to the bone
and barely scraping a living.
Yeah, well, at least I'm not watching
me back all the fucking time.
- And what about you? - I'm in, Dad.
You're still in possession of the bollocks
you were born with?
Dad, Dad, I'm OK with moody weddings.
Oh?
You're settling for OK? - I'm in.
Never thought I'd see the day.
Sons of mine-- godless, pussy-whipped.
There's more loyalty in those little rats I pay
to sell the gear on the estate. - Look, Dad--
- Get out, all of you. - But I won't mind--
Go on, out!
[music playing]
Fuck off!
You did say no.
Course I said no.
You sound like you're sorry for him.
I'm the only son.
Yeah.
And he's yours.
Oh, what?
[television chatter]
Woo!
Doo doo doo doo doo.
I'm going to be the best dressed baby in Chatsworth.
Yay!
Christ, Karen, 150 quid?
For him to puke all over it.
Get back, get a refund.
Hello.
I'd like to place an order please.
[music playing]
Whoa, Carl!
Watch where you're putting it.
That was trap two!
[music playing]
I was the only one willing to go along with that.
He totally blanked me.
That's cause you're an ideas person.
Like it?
I think, uh, cerebral--
more brains than a service station pastie.
Now ain't those balloons aren't going to blow themselves up,
are they?
I mean I'm an inspired shag, me.
Bones did X. I really want to do that.
We should ask him how he'd like it.
Mm.
About Sunty--
We're welcoming our little man into God's family.
It's a celebration, yes, but it's a holy day.
So any talk of whoring or crack pipes is right off, yeah?
I'll see you later.
See you later, Mate.
I think I can manage that for you, Mimi.
Oh, and if you think I'm cocking up on me Godmom duties,
I'm sure you won't hesitate to pull me.
Oh there's nothing to worry about there,
because Conception, my cousin, she's Godmom now.
What?
Well, with the dancing and touring,
poor love never got a chance to have kids.
So I thought it'd be nice for her to have a little one she
can be close to.
Don't be grouching having a godson here.
[chatter]
[music playing]
Heard the latest from your mother?
Me and you are being dumped as godparents,
because her cousin and her bloke are a more glamorous option.
No.
So she's been dumped.
Conception ain't got a bloke.
You're still Godfather?
She only-- she only told me this morning.
And what was your reaction when mommy dearest
did you with that one?
Um, I'm gonna ask her.
Your girlfriend gets shat on from a great eye
by your mother, and you're not asked?
That's-- that's not what I meant.
Kel--
Oopsy daisy.
Really looking forward to Sunday.
It'll be nice to have all the family under one roof again.
I think it's time we settle up, isn't it?
--For the Christening.
Come on, 50/50.
Patty, honest, I'm really flush.
Mimi, chuck yourself under the King's horse.
Gaze at your choffin' in the mirror, please.
In the spirit of equality, tell me what I owe.
OK, you win.
500.
You only do it once, don't you?
I'll fetch it for you right away.
Dad?
Why don't you just help him collect?
God knows, you could do with the ratties.
I've told you why.
Well if not to boost your income, then
to keep an eye out for him.
You know better than anyone what it's like out there.
Dad's covered.
He got some lads helping him out.
Has he bollocks?
What's he going to pay them with, Jamie?
There's more brass on a string quartet than on your dad
just now.
Think about it.
No.
Now can we just leave it, please?
[music playing]
30 grams of coke, 100 of cannabis.
I'll be expecting two grand back.
Anything you make on top is yours.
[music playing]
Problem?
How are we supposed to make out on that?
Get creative.
So besides hiking up the costs or mixing the go,
you got any other creative suggestions?
Cause people ain't thick, you know?
They know what they want, and how much it costs.
[music playing]
All right, all right.
1,800.
Make it quick, if you value your knee caps.
Been over this.
He's wearing that one.
'Cause you've got to keep your mother sweet.
She's paying for everything because you managed to spend
every penny I put aside.
For when he starts on solids.
It's the business.
Anyway, you can take that look off your face, because I
know what you're thinking.
It's all about Conner, now.
Better to spend 200 on something and wear it 100 times
than 30 quid and only wear it once.
Jamie, it's not every day your first born's--
Karen?
Karen!
[music playing]
What is it? What's wrong?
What's going on?
Karen-- What is it that you're looking for?
Karen, what's going on?
Baby--
Where is he?
Well when's the last time you've had him, Karen?
Mom, get upstairs, check, quick.
Connor--
Shane, Mickey!
Connor's missing.
I'll check the shops. Check the bus stop.
Tell everyone you see he's missing.
Get Carl, Ian, fucking everyone.
Find him, Mickey!
Aw, come on.
I need ya--
I need you to help when you're finished.
You stupid--
Leave the girl alone.
Well how the fuck do you forget
where leave your own son?
Do you think she really needs telling, Jamie?
[baby crying]
Oh, thank god.
Oh, Joe, thank fuck.
You said you'd only be five minutes.
Asked me to take him while she pops into Yvonne's.
Everyone was smoking in there.
My mobile goes, I'm yapping away, I turn around,
and she's gone.
I forgot.
Be the excitement to the Christening and that.
Cheers, Joe.
Drink?
No, I'm driving.
Thanks anyway.
Later, yeah?
Delivery, mate.
I'm sorry.
[music playing]
I'm just off to pick up cake.
Running errands for the bitch that's coming between us?
Going to serve our cretin, are you?
I'd like you to watch your mouth.
And I'd like you would keep your nose out of our business.
She's not coming between us.
She is.
She's doing me by running me down.
You're no innocent bystander.
You're a fucking accomplice.
He's running a family errand.
--To fetch a cake for a baptism that I
should have been godmother at.
She doesn't mean anything personally.
Well, it's easy for you to say.
You're not the one who's being shafted.
Do you want me to tell her that I
can't be godfather no more?
I want you to fight my corner.
You've no idea, have you?
The effect this had on me, how touched
I was, how it made me feel that Karen
and Jamie thought that I was good enough
to be godmother to their son--
I was walking on air.
And I wanted to do it right.
Do Connor proud.
Not just turn up, hold the kid by the font,
and then get hammered at the door like every other godparent
I have ever come across.
OK you want it sorted?
I'll sort it.
[music playing]
I didn't do it to heir Kelly's son.
I did it to protect her.
She probably can't bless herself right,
never mind reel off the creeds.
I don't think I can anymore.
More the need for Concepta, then.
She's blood, she'll always be around.
I hate to say this, but what if Kelli traps
offered some loaded ponter.
Anyone one of us could fuck off at anytime.
You and dad split up.
Yeah, but we've got responsibilities
that bind us forever more.
Apart From a dollop of lust and love, you two have nothing.
What are you getting at, with this?
Looks, she's got loads of godkids
that you never even see, so you know the whole things
a load of shit.
You're beloved write those lines, did she?
I've had enough of you and me dad trying to ruin my life.
Trying to fuck things up for me.
[music playing]
I'm not your little boy any more.
And I'm telling you right now, back off.
You OK, now?
Embarrassed more than anything.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, so am I. My head's done in with everything.
Hey, just think, after the christening, it's all over.
[music playing]
No need to thank me.
Fuck off.
Right.
Before I do, there's something I'd like to get off me chest.
Jamie, mate--
Let's let Jamie in on our little secret.
Oh cheer up, Karen, confession's good for the soul.
He'll kill you off.
I'm ready for him this time.
He won't believe you.
Oh, so he hasn't noticed the mole between your tits.
Or the birthmark on your left ass cheek.
Or the way you dig your nails into the back of his neck
when you come.
Something you should know--
Your mom's invited me to Sunday's do.
I've heard the delivery nurse is always there
at Maguire christenings, and I'm just
checking that's cool with you.
Yeah, well you been there twice for the little fella.
How could I say no?
See you later.
Yeah.
[music playing]
What is that?
This is back door birthday.
I have a mutual fuck buddy.
Yeah, right, well he can fuck off.
But I thought you wanted to indulge in a little dark star
penetration.
Yeah, I do, but--
but that-- but there's no pleasure
for you sticking that in me.
Well maybe not.
But you might love it.
And I'm all about giving me.
Imagine the pair of us casting off our ass innocence together.
What could be more romantic and binding?
I'll promise I'll be gentle, Carl.
[laughter]
Well you're certainly in the minority.
I bet hardly any straight blokes take it.
I don't know. I've met a few.
Hey Carl, what's the difference between a straight man
and a gay man?
Six cans of lager.
[laughter]
I'm not taking.
I'm just considering possibilities.
If you're thinking it, you're halfway you
Yeah, well, me and Max are tight.
And what's good for the goose--
What advice would you give your little brother, Ian?
Absolutely fucking not.
I'm not talking bum sex with him.
Yeah, it'd be different if it was pussy though, wouldn't it?
I tell you what, once you make contact with Mr. G-Spot,
you'll kill yourself for not hooking up sooner.
Don't it hurt, though?
Well you can do the full monty straight off.
No, you got to work up to it.
How?
Well, start small and plenty of lube.
Lubrication.
A bit of spit always does it for me
if I'm ever caught short.
Just let your mind open to the possibilities and your ass
will follow.
And, you're to a Catholic, yeah?
Like me.
So the guilt will just add to the shitty feel of it all.
So to recap.
You start small.
Work your way up.
Ooh.
[cheering]
[barking]
I fucking hate dogs.
Notice diseased, spreading shit machines.
Karen-- you look tired.
Come on.
Living over a pub's hardly peaceful.
[baby crying]
And I know Mimi's decibel level isn't
always within legal limits.
Here.
My place.
It could be your little oasis.
I want to help, Karen.
Let's face it.
I'm the nearest you've got to a dad.
And you're the nearest thing I've got a daughter now.
[music playing]
[water running]
[laughter]
Shit.
[music playing]
That's my consolation prize.
You can stick it up your ass,
Trying me best, Kel.
Just seems like she's not having it.
She said why.
Yeah, the religion thing.
You know and I know, the reason
she gave me the elbow is because she can't stand a low down.
Me, being in the limelight--
Don't think you got any fears there, Kelli.
In the New Testament, Matthew never condemns prostitution.
Turn to the Old Testament, in the book of Hosea,
god says he'd never punish the daughter of Israel
for selling themselves.
And besides, you're a masseuse.
[music playing]
Oh, could ya?
If you didn't want him wearing it, you could have just said.
What's going on?
Look what she did.
Her, who I've treated like my own daughter?
I ironed it.
Sorry, I didn't even notice.
You didn't want Connor wearing it.
And thought if you've ruined it, he wouldn't have to.
Mimi, I can assure you, I would
never do something like that.
This was my grandmother's.
And her mother before that.
The names of my dead babies are woven into it.
It was an accident.
Oh, so you don't believe me now.
What sort of a mad bitch do you think I am?
Beginning to wonder.
Right.
I'll sort it.
I'll fucking sort it.
I will sort it!
[music playing]
The mark's doable. But the tear--
But with it being crochet, you should
be able to hide it nicely.
Brilliant.
Problem is, this is Irish crochet,
and I only do the fillet.
But my sister-in-law, Mary, she's good at the Irish mind.
But the silk thread, don't come cheap.
[knocking]
Shit.
Get me out of here.
In there.
Just a minute.
Hi Mimi, come in.
What can I do for you, love?
Well I'm not here to have me clit flicked.
Need a word with Kelly.
Oh, she's tied up just now.
[gagging]
I've had a word with Patty and Shane,
and they had a thing or two to say.
And I've decided to rethink the whole godmother thing.
Concepta's sound.
But on balance, I feel your case is stronger.
- What? - You're more grounded.
Even when she isn't a mile-high, her head's still in the clouds.
And you only live around the corner.
If a crisis strikes, what could she,
propping up the Waldorf bar?
And despite having more male customers than Burtons.
I feel your heart's in the right place.
You'll do for me.
Deal?
Deal.
See ya.
Get out.
What sort of a welcome is that, aye?
She once told me that her big dream was to go skinny
dipping at night in Crete.
I kept her messages on me mobile.
So I can hear her voice.
[music playing]
[crying]
If there's yellow stuff in it, it's not cancer.
I put sweet corn in that pasta dish.
I was trying out some brown-eyed
action with a party blower.
But when it took it out, the nozzle got stuck.
I can't get it out. Will you try?
Ooh. Sorry, Carl.
Anal extractions didn't feature on my auxiliary training
course.
Right, and Max, you don't need a qualification
to work what's got to be done.
No.
But you do need equipment.
Well I ain't fancy wasting me whole Friday night in A&E.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're not going there.
Oh, they won't bat an eyelid.
I had a vicar in last week.
He had a 12 inch candle up him.
Said he fell backwards putting up curtains.
You know it's special.
I'm not going, Max.
What's that?
Any bit of wind and it goes off.
It's like I have an internal mouth organ.
Hey Carl give us a tune before you go.
[panting]
MAN OFFSCREEN: RIght off.
It was lifted.
Well, they are?
OK, OK.
I'll be right with you.
[music playing]
[baby crying]
Just when I fucking--
[door slamming]
[slap]
I love you.
Don't.
Fuck off.
I will.
[music playing]
[glass breaking]
[grunting]
Who the fuck am I?
[grunting]
Who the fuck am I?
Mr. Maguire.
So why are you treating me like Bill
Gates or bloody Carnegie?
You're a charity case, all right.
But not when I'm supporting.
So where-- the fuck's my money?
As it's small, a little irrigation will probably do it.
As me vac's being serviced anyway--
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Every other day I do a rectal removal.
I dislodge, I douche, I dab some talc,
and then return it to its right.
Come on, Carl drop 'em.
Ready--
[music playing]
Do I look stupid?
He's--he's-- he's out getting the rest now.
There are some people in this world who learn their lessons
well, take on board advice, move on, and have
relatively happy little lives.
And there are those that don't.
You are obviously of the latter.
Fuck you.
You don't scare me.
I know people.
Once you're out of intensive care, you go see those people
and ask them if they know Paddy Maguire.
I guarantee they will!
You've got--
[blast]
[music playing]
How's my favorite bum boy?
Last time I was slipping your old Kristy one,
she said he was fine.
- Paddy through it? - No.
I'll give him a bell.
Hasn't been getting it for ages.
Just keeps ringing out. [phone ringing]
Yeah.
Two minutes, yeah?
Cheers, son.
Where's me daddy?
Nipped out for the papers.
On a Saturday morning, there's nothing Mr. Maguire
and I like more than to talk current affairs
over a pot of Lady Gray.
Really?
Is he fuck here?
Hey, John's here with the delivery and dad's not--
Got three grand in the safe?
Do I look like a man who's got three grand in a safe?
But you said he walks by, Sean, every Saturday at 12.
Dad never misses him.
There's definitely something up.
Buying the dark stuff, please Jamie.
Three grand.
In me tips.
Karen all right?
Not every day you forget where your kid is, aye?
You weren't laughing the other day.
Nah, she's fine.
And that is on the house.
Good.
So long as the baby blues haven't struck.
No, she's just tired, that's all.
We both are.
Having a baby in the house, it really takes it out of you.
A mate of mine said that him and his missus
are that knackered at the end of the day, all
they're fit for when they fall into bed is sleep.
Your love life's out the window, your skinned all the time.
Staying is unbelievable.
Hey, but listen, they didn't have
what you and Karen have got, do you know what I mean, mate?
Hm. MAN OFFSCREEN: Jamie.
Yes, mate?
Here's the rascal.
Do you want to keep it? - Pie?
Should have it framed.
And Once it's been disinfected, obviously.
Old freaks pay hundreds for this sort of treatment.
If you know any, tell him I'll do it cheaper.
Cheers, Lillian.
It was all my pleasure.
I underestimated you.
How?
Never thought for a second you'd ever really
considered being my bum chum.
So how can I make it up to you?
You can have anything you like.
[farting]
[music playing]
[door creaking]
[knocking]
You OK?
[music playing]
We'll have to make a bit of us time, won't we?
I mean, we're more than just mom and dad.
Let's have a night out, aye?
Too much effort.
We had to have booked a table, found a sitter, done the feeds,
got his clothes sorted for the next day, got myself sorted--
all I'm fit for is bed.
Things will get better, yeah?
I'm sorry.
I'm not complaining.
You and Connor are my world now.
But if anything happened.
If anything damaged us, I don't know what I'd do.
Hey.
Nothing is going to damage us.
All right?
Dad?
It's Mickey.
Give us a bell, yeah?
Peace offering.
You know where the bard is.
I know you'd said you'd sort it, but I didn't fancy her hot.
You know what?
You lot probably mock those South Sea Islanders.
You know, with bones through their noses,
performing their shaman rituals, when in fact you are partaking
in exactly the same bollocks.
About tomorrow, Frank.
Verbal invite to you.
It's be nice to see there for Katie's sake.
Free bar.
Oh thanks, Mimi, love.
Yeah, I'll try and show my face.
But, what I was about to say is the common myths bind us--
Haven't you seen dad?
I'm not some kind of babysitter.
He's a big boy.
He can look after himself.
Help us look for him.
Mickey, you know your dad.
He'll be fine.
Get yourself a drink.
Sit yourself down and stop worrying.
He won't thank you for it.
What's up?
Seriously-- What's up?
[music playing]
If he's as nice as you say he is, he won't mind helping,
will he?
[phone ringing]
Mickey, long time, no see.
Hey there.
How's things with you and the Mrs?
It's all right.
It's a fully paid up member of the shit stabbers.
Nah, it's over.
I came home one day and found him bang out dead.
The man next door.
Well I didn't think that would bother you,
not after what we've got up to.
Yeah, I'm the man over the road.
I'm the man at the back.
I'm the man from next door when?
Well, so you've left then?
Yeah.
I've been living with an interior designer
from Cambodia.
Can't string a sentence together,
but the flat looks fantastic.
And the things he can do with a wok--
have to be seen to be believed.
You should come round one night.
Both of you.
I meant about me dad.
He's missing.
- Well how long? - About 12 hours.
12 hours?
I've been on benders longer than that.
He's never done this before.
Ady, please.
Look, this isn't like him.
Something's happened.
I know it.
And no fucker will believe me.
And you're my last hope.
Please, Ady.
You've got to help us.
Please.
PADDY (VOICEMAIL): You're through to Paddy Maguire.
Leave a message. [beep]
Right, and what should happen now
is the base station would flag up the phones.
Location, there we go.
Got you.
[music playing]
Dad!
It's me.
- Mickey, Mickey, calm down. - Can you hear me?
Paddy! Paddy!
I'm gonna radio help.
[sirens]
Thanks a million for finding him.
Well, that was only Mickey.
He led the investigation.
- This is all down to me. - No, no, no.
It's not just you, Jamie.
It's neither of you.
No one's fault. He knew the risks he was taking.
He asked for our help and we said no.
We let him down, Mom.
All of us.
Well, nearly all of us.
[music playing]
WOMAN OFFSCREEN: Oh, he's gorgeous.
Loving him.
MAN OFFSCREEN: Smells good, mom
Eating, sleeping--
[laughter]
Right, grub's up.
You're pushing the boat out.
We won't get to eat 'til the other side of service, so--
But there won't be a service.
But this is Connor's big day.
Yeah, but not without me dad, it isn't.
Well we're cancelling. Right mom?
And how would we explain that to wee Connor.
All I need is a clean shirt and I'll be with you.
[music playing]
[chatter]
[explosion]
MIMI MAGUIRE: Patrick, it's time.
Did you pass the mustard?
Eventually.
I believe in one God, the Father
Almighty, maker of things visible and invisible.
If you'd like to--
I'm not sure if I can.
It's just-- I don't actually believe in God.
But, if I'm called on, I'll teach him to respect people,
no matter what they do or don't believe
in, as long as they're decent.
And I'll pray to a God I'm not sure exists, that is loved.
I'm a prostitute, father, ex-junkie.
But I know good from bad.
And if I can teach him that, it's job done, really.
Isn't it?
I'm sorry if I've offended.
I just don't want to let Connor down on myself.
[music playing]
[phone ringing]
[chatter]
Someone thought they were very clever, phoning Concepta.
Putting on a voice.
Telling her that her flights had been canceled.
Only the thick fucking prick of a prankster
forgot to withhold the number, didn't you, Shane?
Fuck
[music playing]
Well, it's been put out.
Tell you what, whoever brings us that kid,
going to be well-flushed.
Who you put the word out?
Me, Jay, Jane.
Well, you move fucking right.
I'm the director of Maguire limited.
I make the executive decisions.
He's going to pay for this, Dad.
Risking your lives?
For what? For what?
No more of my cops will die in my account.
Call it off.
But he hurt you.
And they need to know, no one does that to our old man.
Are you fucking deaf?
Call it off.
Hey sexy.
What happened to that long, wet, spicy screw?
I was just savoring the thought of it.
Are those limes ready yet, babe?
Ah.
Is he any lighter now he's washed of mortal sin?
What, did you fancy jumping yourself?
Taking a spiritual cleanse.
Can't just turn up and get christened, Frank.
There is a program.
Oh, there's a program.
But what would be the point, eh?
You'd only blot your copy--
the next day.
You're like me, you are.
Lured by earthly pleasures.
How could you speak to Mickey like that?
In public?
The only who you wouldn't invite into the business,
but the only one who went out looking for you.
Call yourself a father?
[baby babbling]
[gunshot]
I thought raspberries were your favorite.
Not when they're covered in melted cow bone.
The more I demanded, the more she dug in.
The call was a last resort.
I just wanted to make it good.
I want a man, Shane.
A grownup.
Look, until I find one, I suppose
I'll have to make do with you.
[gasping]
Shit, I'm sorry.
For fuck's sake.
Why don't you just go back to the loo
where you just come from? Clean yourself up.
She's a slut.
But you know what?
Patty nearly died yesterday, and it woke me up to something.
Life's too short.
I'm not going to waste my life waiting for you, Karen.
You've got two men in your life.
Why can't I have two women?
Would you look at that?
Like Looks like a platypus on safari.
What the fuck did you just say?
Nothing, Patty.
A platypus on safari?
That's right.
Run you yellow-bellied gobshite!
Utter another word that's less than kind,
and I'll did to you what mother nature should have done
50 years and eight months ago.
And I'll raze you for good.
[glass breaking]
[sobbing]
Oh, nice one, Dad.
How do you think she's feeling now?
Listen--
You know something, Patty.
You make the china shop bull look socially deft.
I was protecting my family, like any good father should.
Is that so contemptible?
If you've done something when you want, I can't help you.
It's what you do to me, I did.
What's wrong with kiddy now?
The kiddies' entertainer.
The fellow you elbowed--
With the broken nose--
He won't be performing now.
Once upon a time, there was a king
who lived in a mighty castle.
He had all the things a man could wish for.
But he was a lonely king.
That's right, there was something missing.
Are you with me so far?
Yeah.
Then one day.
He came across a gorgeous young woman.
Ooh.
And before too long, they were madly, madly in love.
And the gods blessed them with beautiful children.
And he and his queen loved them unconditionally.
But the queen grew bored, and looked to entertain herself.
Live her own life.
Without his family around him, without their love,
he floundered and he lost his crown.
His daughter tried to--
He lost his family.
And he lost his queen.
He watched as his queen threw everything she had, they had,
down the drain.
She wanted him dead.
Never thought that he might be in need
of some fucking assistance.
Never thought that he might be actually screaming
out for some kind of help.
Come on, Ryan.
All he was looking for was someone,
anyone, to fucking listen.
Just to fucking listen.
That's all.
[cars passing]
Right.
We're off to bed.
Say goodnight, mom.
(WHISPERING) Goodnight, baby.
Goodnight, Karen.
[music playing]
[baby babbling]
We're gonna get off on our--
OK
PADDY (VOICEOVER): Gandhi, Collins, your woman
who wouldn't budge on the bus.
All heroes.
All freedom fighters.
[music playing]
Few will ever be known for grand acts of courage like them.
But the taking of any liberty, whether it's freeing yourself
to love, or speaking what your heart truly feels,
now that takes balls.
Nice.
For a daughter.
PADDY (VOICEOVER): Breaking the shackles
of mental and emotional incarceration--
only a big man manages that.
[ticking]
[music playing]
So you've converted to Judaism,
but you are having violent cravings for pork scratchings?
God, yeah.
I'll see what I can do.