1 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,967 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth express! 2 00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:14,867 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 3 00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:20,733 they were given by him upstairs and kids they're convinced 4 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:22,533 aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:26,367 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing 6 00:00:26,467 --> 00:00:28,533 money or wives in your face? 7 00:00:28,633 --> 00:00:31,333 Because this, people reckon, and me included, 8 00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:36,900 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented-- to calm us 9 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,433 all down, stop us going mental. 10 00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:44,233 These are Chatsworth Estates basic essentials. 11 00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:49,000 They are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 12 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,367 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 13 00:00:57,133 --> 00:01:00,000 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 14 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:03,567 who'll cum on your face for the price of a beer. 15 00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:04,733 Make poverty history! 16 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:07,700 Cheaper drugs now! 17 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,100 Make poverty history! 18 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,733 Cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:13,667 Scatter! 20 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,733 KAREN (VOICEOVER): We live in an age of no accountability. 21 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:36,733 Banks, celebrities, politicians-- 22 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:40,367 it wasn't my fault. A big boy did it and ran away. 23 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,733 Mea culpa. 24 00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:46,633 It was my fault. Not afraid [inaudible] too much nowadays. 25 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:50,833 But now and again, you have to accept it was your fault. 26 00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:54,200 Whatever happened happened because of you. 27 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:55,733 And I know guilt is just God's way 28 00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:58,733 of controlling us, reminding us that everything we do 29 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:02,267 has consequences. 30 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:05,233 Fucking works, though. 31 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,300 Makes you sick to your stomach knowing that something you've 32 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,267 done hurt hit someone else. 33 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,700 I won't give you [inaudible] if I 34 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,900 can't feed this [inaudible]. 35 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,933 Time was a forger took pride in his work. 36 00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:20,000 Prat! 37 00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:29,800 [knocking] 38 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,867 KAREN: That for me? 39 00:02:40,967 --> 00:02:42,067 Yes. 40 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,700 Thought you could do with cheering up. 41 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,900 Come and give us a kiss. 42 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Oh. 43 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:58,600 Whatever happens between you and Jamie, I'm here, yeah? 44 00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,533 No sides. 45 00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:03,433 Come on, you. 46 00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:08,033 Say bye bye to Auntie Karen. 47 00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:09,200 Bye bye! 48 00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:28,167 What? 49 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,367 Well, if you two are a couple of Dolly divers, 50 00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:31,833 don't you think it's time you came out? 51 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:32,733 I'm not gay. 52 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:33,667 Yeah? 53 00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:36,400 Prove it. 54 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,533 Thought not. 55 00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,467 I can give you a list of names if you want. 56 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,867 No, no name. 57 00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:45,867 It's all written on the back walls of the jockey toilets. 58 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:48,400 You did check that that's not Stella's healthy eating money. 59 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,333 Oh fuck. 60 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,133 No, that's Liam's school. 61 00:03:57,867 --> 00:03:59,200 They want to see you and mum. 62 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,700 How? 63 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,500 Monica Gallagher? 64 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,600 [inaudible] to the stars? - Liam! 65 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:09,733 Your sister's gay and her butch mate Max. 66 00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:18,467 Heard you rattling about downstairs through the night. 67 00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:19,467 Couldn't sleep again? 68 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:20,400 No. 69 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:21,400 Maybe you should take [inaudible] 70 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,833 out for a coffee or something. 71 00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:26,167 I don't tell you how to run your marriage, mum, do I? 72 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,400 Despite the obvious problems. 73 00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:53,367 Paddy? 74 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,333 Paddy, I've got your tea. 75 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:03,733 PADDY: Yeah, well, I've just-- ack. 76 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,733 Ugh, wait a minute. 77 00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:11,733 Thanks. 78 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,100 Thought you were going out. 79 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,833 I changed me mind. Open the door. 80 00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,167 Open the fucking door! 81 00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:30,533 I'm not gonna help you if you keep lying. 82 00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:31,933 I'm dealing with it. 83 00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:35,300 Jacking up in secret? 84 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,300 [grunt] 85 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,567 Punch as many walls as you like. 86 00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:43,367 If you think for one minute I'm going to leave you alone 87 00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:46,000 to fucking kill yourself, then you've 88 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:49,333 got another thing coming. 89 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:54,133 From now on, whatever you go, I go. 90 00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:59,333 And if you have to shoot this shit into your system, then 91 00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:03,067 at least I'll be here to pick up the pieces. 92 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:11,667 They want to call your parents in on a Saturday 93 00:06:11,767 --> 00:06:13,933 for touching a girl's breast. 94 00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:15,567 Try again. 95 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,833 Mel [inaudible] got her arm stuck down the drain trying 96 00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:19,267 to get a ciggy she dropped. 97 00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:21,033 Every-- [hiccup] everyone took a little pee on her. 98 00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:21,933 Could be that. 99 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:22,867 Pissed on a girl! 100 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,600 LIAM: No, I faked it. 101 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:25,833 Story of my life. 102 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:26,767 When was this? 103 00:06:26,867 --> 00:06:28,133 About three months ago. 104 00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,667 Well, it's not that, is it? 105 00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:31,167 It's not that! 106 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,967 That's everything I've ever done since I was like five. 107 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,100 Right, you. Get up. 108 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,633 Stand in the door. - What? 109 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,067 Stand in the door and turn. 110 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:45,100 All right, anybody had heard that Liam is smoke at lunchtime 111 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,600 raise their hands. 112 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:51,733 Oh, very illuminating. 113 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:53,467 Anything to tell us, Liam? 114 00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:56,400 All right, but it was just those two times I smoked. 115 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,800 And I only did it then because I would 116 00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,833 have got a kicking if I didn't. 117 00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:01,133 Oh, that's very helpful. 118 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:02,900 Yeah, and this isn't toast. 119 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,767 It's bread with a mild fucking sun tan. 120 00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:08,667 And what is that smell? 121 00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:09,967 What? 122 00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:11,867 Does [inaudible],, like a haddock's codpiece. 123 00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:12,800 What you expect? 124 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:13,767 I'm a fish monger. 125 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:14,733 Fish monger's apprentice. 126 00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:15,800 I'm earning a living. 127 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:20,433 Oh, gosh. 128 00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:21,533 Carl! 129 00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:22,467 Fuck off! 130 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,467 You're a vegetarian! 131 00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:28,767 Norma, what are you doing later? 132 00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:30,767 [inaudible]. 133 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,767 End starvation in Africa, you know, 134 00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:35,933 broker a peace deal between Israel and Palestine, 135 00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:38,967 enlightenment. 136 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,167 Whatever it is, no. 137 00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:46,233 Good luck! 138 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,433 What? 139 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,400 Dave! 140 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,467 Can I talk to [inaudible] a spell? 141 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,467 Fuck's sake. 142 00:07:52,567 --> 00:08:06,733 [inaudible] 143 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,967 What are you doing? 144 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,133 Fresh air. 145 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,100 Oy! 146 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,700 Don't think so, young lady. 147 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,167 Did you think I wouldn't know it's a 20 mixed in? 148 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:33,000 Well, they wouldn't after you if you actually paid us. 149 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:33,900 You'll get paid. 150 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:34,833 Talking pocket money. 151 00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:35,767 I'm 17. 152 00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:37,400 Going on 13. 153 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:42,533 Keep your hands out of the fucking till. 154 00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:44,200 Bit harsh. 155 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,767 You are the last person I would come 156 00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:47,500 to for advice on mothering. 157 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,467 And take them off. 158 00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:50,133 You look like Ozzy fucking Osbourne. 159 00:08:57,167 --> 00:09:00,133 She doesn't mean anything by it. 160 00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:01,500 She enjoys it! 161 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,933 The only reason she had us was to push us around. 162 00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:05,133 That's not true. 163 00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:08,733 It's not easy being a mum. 164 00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:09,833 Come towers for a brew. 165 00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:10,733 Your estrogen's pumping. 166 00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:15,500 Don't you mean adrenaline? 167 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,533 No, that's for addicts. 168 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,667 Can I give you a hand? 169 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,167 No. 170 00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:32,633 Well, then have you got any change for the Bandit, then? 171 00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:33,600 We're not open yet. 172 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:34,367 Oh, go on. 173 00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,167 It'll keep me out your hair. 174 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,567 What you think? 175 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,633 KAREN: Get all that stuff down to the cellar for us, 176 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,867 would you? 177 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:01,667 My shift doesn't start for five minutes. 178 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,800 Hi, mate. 179 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:03,733 Yeah. 180 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,067 Pass me one of them, please. 181 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,600 Get it your fucking self. 182 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,700 Eh, excuse me. 183 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,367 I'm after [inaudible]. 184 00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:25,367 And you're always going to be if you sit on your ass 185 00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:26,600 and get served. 186 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:27,567 Bye Rog, love. 187 00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:28,667 Regards to the missus. 188 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,067 Yes, love? 189 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:39,033 Can I help you? 190 00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:42,367 Can I come in please, lady? 191 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,433 Rodney! 192 00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:49,133 Hiya, m 193 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,733 Jamie, lager's off. 194 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,633 I'm on me break. 195 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,033 It's lunchtime. 196 00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:56,567 And I get statutory 30 minutes. 197 00:11:03,133 --> 00:11:04,667 Not anymore you don't. 198 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:05,567 You what? 199 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,067 You're sacked. 200 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,633 Go and find somewhere else to work. 201 00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,533 Says who? 202 00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:13,500 Karen McGuire, licensee. 203 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:14,867 How long you been planning this? 204 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,400 I could ask you the same question. 205 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,967 You may be the licensee, Karen, but if memory serves, 206 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:21,633 it's less than 12 months since both of our names 207 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,367 were on the mortgage for this shitehole. 208 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,433 So? 209 00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,800 So you're going to have to buy me out. 210 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,200 Bollocks. 211 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,133 Where am I going to find 40 grand? 212 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,800 Not my problem. 213 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,500 But if you don't find a buyer, I will. 214 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,300 Last warning, Wurzel. 215 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,200 Wind in your pop eyes, or I'm off. 216 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:53,700 It's just distracting seeing you in Monica's [inaudible].. 217 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,033 Well, I don't have an out mumsy in my wardrobe. 218 00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,433 I'd hardly call that mumsy. 219 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:03,333 Eyes front! 220 00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:07,167 What if they ask us about date of birth, middle names? 221 00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,200 Make it up. I do. 222 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,167 No one ever notices. 223 00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,300 What's his teacher's name? 224 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,233 Who the fuck am I, Magnus Magnuson? 225 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,100 Mr. And Mrs. Gallagher? 226 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,733 Do you want to come through? 227 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,500 Have a good, long soak, son. 228 00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:39,733 So what's the story [inaudible]?? 229 00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:41,200 He seems different. 230 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,367 No, I mean the very fact you got a son is just coming 231 00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:45,267 down the wire for most of us. 232 00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:47,133 Well, I never saw eye to eye with Brendan. 233 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,800 As soon as he was 16, they were out the door off to London. 234 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,500 Streets paved with gold and all that. 235 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:52,233 Teenage runaway? 236 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:53,500 No, he didn't run away. 237 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,933 Tossed him out by the scruff of the neck. 238 00:12:56,033 --> 00:12:57,367 There were a lot of violence, you see. 239 00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,733 Tough on him, was he, Brendan? 240 00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:01,533 No, I used to battle [inaudible] pair of them, 241 00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:02,833 always bickering. 242 00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:04,133 Keep up, will you? 243 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,767 I suppose I could have more patients 244 00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:11,933 and been more understanding. 245 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,100 Teenagers are hard work, Lillian. 246 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,500 This could be my second chance. 247 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:19,500 Oy! 248 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,567 Groupie! 249 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,900 Mitts off. 250 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,567 I was only trying to help. 251 00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:25,133 Well, don't fucking bother! 252 00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:26,167 Job's already taken. 253 00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:28,633 Uh, I asked her. 254 00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:29,833 What? 255 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:33,733 Hey, she don't take any shit and you-- 256 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:36,567 you indulge me. 257 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,400 I indulge you? 258 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,233 Just for a couple of hours a day. 259 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,600 It'll take the pressure off her. 260 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,800 I'll pay her meself. 261 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:48,900 Your private, 17-year-old masseuse 262 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,067 I've got my eye on you. 263 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,567 I'll lose the Jockey. 264 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:04,933 I'll lose everything-- my home, my job, my future. 265 00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:06,467 Have you tried the bank? 266 00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:08,733 Your mum? 267 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:09,933 Hiya! 268 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:11,767 Not spoke to you for nigh on two years. 269 00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:21,133 [inaudible] He's such a prick. 270 00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:22,867 Yeah, but he's your prick. 271 00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:26,067 You don't have to go through with it just to save face. 272 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:27,567 Marriage is more important than that. 273 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,500 That's exactly why I do have to go through with it. 274 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,200 If he's prepared to just walk, am I 275 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,600 supposed to fight to keep him? 276 00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:46,767 Cal! 277 00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:48,600 I will give you money not to come in 278 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:49,700 here when you smell like that. 279 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:50,733 It's my job! 280 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,000 You cannot give in! 281 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,333 It's my marriage. 282 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:00,267 If you back down now, you'll be pussy whipped 283 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,767 for the rest of your days. 284 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:05,867 She'll be wearing the trousers and you'll be her indoors. 285 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:07,600 Just don't want wounded pride to paint 286 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,467 us into a corner, that's all. - Listen. 287 00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:11,333 Let me tell you something about women, mate. 288 00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:12,633 The only reason they challenge you 289 00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,733 is so that you'll put them in their place. 290 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:15,733 It's primal. 291 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,100 They want you to master them. 292 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,033 That's why you've got the balls. 293 00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:20,833 So how come she holds this licensee thing 294 00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:23,467 like a sword over me head? 295 00:15:23,567 --> 00:15:26,167 Just telling you the way it is, mate. 296 00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:28,733 Well, we recent ran tests to identify pupils 297 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,000 with natural leadership qualities 298 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,367 and Liam's score was off the scale. 299 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,200 Maths, IT, English-- he's at least 300 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,233 two years ahead of his peers. 301 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:41,733 With your permission, we'd like to suggest 302 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,267 Liam for the Kofi Annan Multifaith 303 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,667 Accelerated Learning Scheme. 304 00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:48,000 Right, right. 305 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,567 Based in Caracas, it's an educational charity, 306 00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,167 running intensive academic workshops 307 00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:57,400 for kids from all over Europe! 308 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,900 Interviews start tomorrow with a three month's 309 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,700 residential end of the year. 310 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,100 Children who complete this program 311 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,767 often go on to top universities, well-paid jobs. 312 00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:12,133 Oh, got a brochure. 313 00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:20,333 [inaudible] classes, past student records. 314 00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:22,800 I can arrange an interview for you if you like. 315 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,733 Any questions? 316 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:31,767 Oh, how much does it cost? 317 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:35,900 Given Mr. Gallagher's health issues-- 318 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,733 Gulf War Syndrome, isn't it? 319 00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:38,800 Yeah, bomb fine. 320 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,033 I'm in bits. 321 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,067 Well, you'd be eligible for 100% bursary. 322 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:46,333 Travel, hotels, expenses. 323 00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:47,700 If you don't mind me saying, you don't 324 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,000 seem particularly enthused. 325 00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,067 [interposing voices] 326 00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:56,733 Just-- just overwhelmed. 327 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:57,667 Aren't we, love? 328 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:01,533 Bye, then! 329 00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:04,133 Good luck! 330 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:08,067 I said no touching! 331 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,033 (SINGING) La cucaracha! 332 00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:11,567 La cucaracha! 333 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,200 That's not Venezuelan. It's Mexican. 334 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:16,933 So? 335 00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:18,467 It's all Spanish. 336 00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:19,733 Ow! 337 00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,567 It's broke, you know! 338 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:22,500 Good. 339 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,867 I've screwed meself raw. 340 00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:27,067 I can still feel your clammy hand on it. 341 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:29,033 Anyway, we can't afford it. 342 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,533 I thought it was paid for. 343 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,633 Yeah, I'm talking about clothes, suitcases, 344 00:17:33,733 --> 00:17:35,100 phone cards when he's away. 345 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,233 It won't be that much depth. 346 00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,033 I could chip in. - No! 347 00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:39,433 You can't just get because he wants. 348 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:42,067 Uh, easy there, less than supernanny. 349 00:17:42,167 --> 00:17:43,667 This is a chance for the kid. 350 00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:44,967 To do what? 351 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:45,900 Show off? 352 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,700 Make himself a target? 353 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,667 How do you even know they're going to look after him? 354 00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,467 Thought it would be good fun. 355 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:52,533 Yeah, Debs, he's-- 356 00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:54,000 he's up for it. 357 00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:57,900 Education is a right, not a privilege. 358 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,367 My sainted mother fought all her days for that. 359 00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:11,400 Ey, we are exercising our right to give the kid a good start. 360 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,067 Well, he's still going to have to get through the interview. 361 00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:19,400 Debs! 362 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,800 [knocking] 363 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,767 Come in. 364 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,467 Do you want to tell me what this is all about? 365 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:33,333 What? 366 00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:35,500 With Liam-- we can't afford it. 367 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,433 Will he be safe? 368 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:37,767 Will he be spoiled? 369 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,300 That's not like you. 370 00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,167 Well, maybe it should be. 371 00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:44,633 Well, we never got chances. 372 00:18:44,733 --> 00:18:45,533 We were bright. 373 00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:46,567 I wasn't. 374 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,600 I was. 375 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,633 Year five, [inaudible] trip to Lisbon to look 376 00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,500 at titles or calk or something. 377 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,933 I can't remember. 378 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,100 I could have gone free. 379 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,633 But mom and dad lost the form. 380 00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,367 By the time they admitted, it was too late. 381 00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:01,567 Ah, so Liam shouldn't get to go on this. 382 00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:05,300 Year nine, two weeks in Russia for history. 383 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,433 Oh, no payments available for signature. 384 00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:09,267 Yeah, [inaudible] you could have forged it. 385 00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:11,633 That's not the point! 386 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:12,800 You know what? 387 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,067 Fair enough. 388 00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:15,433 You're right. 389 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:17,633 Why should he get to go to Venezuela? 390 00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:18,533 Selfish bastard. 391 00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,200 What will you do now? 392 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,800 I'm [inaudible] enough for London. 393 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,767 I'll stay up here for a bit I reckon. 394 00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:33,133 [inaudible] rough at first, but I'll get on my feet 395 00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:34,067 in a year or two. 396 00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:35,200 Stay here for a bit? 397 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,467 I wouldn't want to impose. 398 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,233 You wouldn't be. 399 00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,933 I-- I owe yo that at least. 400 00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:42,033 Yeah, I suppose you do. 401 00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:44,733 Not Might find a girlfriend, settle down. 402 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,367 Are you already set up? 403 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:50,133 What was it yo used to say? 404 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:51,133 Ever want a girlfriend? 405 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,867 Get down to the blind school. 406 00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:55,267 What's the point to telling him 407 00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:56,800 he's Brad Pitt when there's a mirror in the house? 408 00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:02,867 So you've never had a girlfriend. 409 00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,533 32 and still got me cherry. 410 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:05,433 Hm. 411 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,067 Kelly, love. 412 00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:16,967 Don't worry if it's over quick. 413 00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:18,333 Everyone's same first time. 414 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,600 Not a fan of London, then? 415 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,567 Not as such. 416 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,367 What did you do to [inaudible]?? 417 00:20:50,467 --> 00:20:52,967 Went to the palace, some footmen. 418 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:55,467 [inaudible] a bouncer at Stringfellows. 419 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,933 This ain't doing it for me, lady. 420 00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,200 Might if we do doggy? 421 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000 I found it in a skip. 422 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:18,633 Fish-- a fish monger. 423 00:21:18,733 --> 00:21:19,567 Cool. 424 00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:20,933 Nice one! 425 00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:22,100 Another drink. 426 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,467 Drink, [inaudible]? 427 00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:31,867 Yep. 428 00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:35,367 Karen, pint of lemonade, large [inaudible],, one for the wife. 429 00:21:35,467 --> 00:21:37,200 MIMI: No fella? 430 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:38,500 Work. 431 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,400 Feather in his nest? 432 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,167 Eh? 433 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:42,567 MIMI: Putting the hours in? 434 00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:43,567 Getting ready for kiddies? 435 00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:45,200 MANDY: A bit soon for this chap, mum. 436 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:48,400 Nobody knows what's in the future, Mandy. 437 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:49,700 Take your happiness while you can. 438 00:21:57,367 --> 00:22:00,967 Front of the queue and now they [inaudible] weren't you? 439 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:03,000 Didn't thinking blokes could get a stiffy 440 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:04,100 when they're having a wee. 441 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,667 Yeah, well, they probably didn't 442 00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:07,900 have a pretty girl holding them when they did that experiment. 443 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,900 I'm sure my son could manage that on his own. 444 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,500 [inaudible] be doing it if he could. 445 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,200 You think you could shag it off a little bit next time, 446 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,700 please? 447 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:17,600 Huh? 448 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,133 I'm just taking a piss, for fucks sake. 449 00:22:28,233 --> 00:22:29,633 And I'm just keeping you company. 450 00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:36,333 Karen, do us a favor? 451 00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:38,700 Have Katie with you tonight. 452 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:39,933 Joe's coming over. 453 00:22:40,033 --> 00:22:41,000 Course. 454 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,400 [inaudible] cheers. 455 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:01,733 Hello? 456 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,167 Get done for that. 457 00:23:14,133 --> 00:23:16,933 Polite society usually wait until they're conscious. 458 00:23:17,033 --> 00:23:17,833 I wasn't doing that. 459 00:23:17,933 --> 00:23:19,800 Whatever. 460 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:20,933 [inaudible] wait! 461 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:21,900 Don't bother me if you're a flamer. 462 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:22,800 I'm not! 463 00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:33,767 I've got a lump on me balls. 464 00:23:33,867 --> 00:23:35,567 I was just checking to see that Carl's was the same. 465 00:23:35,667 --> 00:23:37,333 And you didn't think to wait till he's awake 466 00:23:37,433 --> 00:23:38,700 and just ask him 467 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,600 Well, it's not the sort of thing lads talk about, is it? 468 00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:42,933 Plus, I'm bad from me GPs. 469 00:23:43,033 --> 00:23:44,933 What's it like, this lump? 470 00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:48,767 [inaudible] no, gristle. 471 00:23:48,867 --> 00:23:51,333 Like a ball that's [inaudible]. 472 00:23:51,433 --> 00:23:52,533 Where? 473 00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:55,133 Sort of like-- 474 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,200 you can have a feel if you want. 475 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,033 I'll pass, [inaudible]. 476 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,167 It's probably nothing. 477 00:24:05,267 --> 00:24:07,533 But tomorrow, straight down to medical center to get it 478 00:24:07,633 --> 00:24:08,433 checked. 479 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:55,533 - Fuck's sake! - Sh. 480 00:24:55,633 --> 00:24:56,433 Where's Mandy? 481 00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:57,633 She's asleep. 482 00:24:57,733 --> 00:24:58,567 What are yo doing? 483 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:02,833 No way. 484 00:25:02,933 --> 00:25:03,733 Get out. 485 00:25:03,833 --> 00:25:06,367 Come on. 486 00:25:06,467 --> 00:25:10,467 You want it just as much as I do. 487 00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:12,933 She's my best mate. 488 00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:14,300 I can't. 489 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,300 You can. 490 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:00,533 Karen? 491 00:26:05,067 --> 00:26:06,933 Karen? 492 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:09,500 [retching] 493 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,533 Cheers, mum. 494 00:26:18,633 --> 00:26:20,233 Fuck the tea! 495 00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,233 I carried you in my belly for nine months 496 00:26:22,333 --> 00:26:23,933 and wiped your ass for years after. 497 00:26:24,033 --> 00:26:28,800 I have a right to insist on being [inaudible].. 498 00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:31,400 If you love her, if you love her, 499 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:33,600 don't be steamrollered to the point of no return 500 00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:37,133 by your mates or by that stupid, stubborn streak 501 00:26:37,233 --> 00:26:38,900 you've had in you since you were knee high. 502 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,500 If there's something in your marriage worth fighting for, 503 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,633 then do it. 504 00:26:44,733 --> 00:26:47,133 And you were right with your smart ass comments 505 00:26:47,233 --> 00:26:49,267 about problems in my marriage. 506 00:26:49,367 --> 00:26:51,167 That's why you see me padding up and down here 507 00:26:51,267 --> 00:26:55,033 like a fucking tea lady come nightmares. 508 00:26:55,133 --> 00:26:57,033 Because there's something worth fighting for. 509 00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:04,000 Stop moping around like a big fanny. 510 00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:05,767 Sort your head out. 511 00:27:05,867 --> 00:27:08,433 Make a decision. 512 00:27:08,533 --> 00:27:09,333 That's all. 513 00:27:21,533 --> 00:27:22,733 Right, OK. 514 00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:25,467 This is as far as it goes, son. 515 00:27:25,567 --> 00:27:27,533 Parents got to make themselves scarce, you know? 516 00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:30,033 See how you cope under the scrutinizing eye 517 00:27:30,133 --> 00:27:30,967 of the examiner. 518 00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,167 It's not an exam. 519 00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:33,667 It's an interview. 520 00:27:33,767 --> 00:27:35,100 Yeah, yeah, I know. 521 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:42,833 I'm just-- why the long face? 522 00:27:42,933 --> 00:27:45,633 Said the jocking. Look, son. 523 00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:47,633 You got a chance to do something interesting. 524 00:27:47,733 --> 00:27:48,700 If you get it, great. 525 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,800 If not, fuck it. 526 00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:51,200 Excuse me. 527 00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:56,100 Oh, yes, that was the F word used as an active verb 528 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,500 in an idiomatic context. 529 00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:04,500 God, I loved this place. 530 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,467 Taught me a lot. 531 00:28:07,567 --> 00:28:08,600 You went to uni? 532 00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:09,833 Well, not exactly. 533 00:28:09,933 --> 00:28:14,733 I was about your age, a bit older maybe. 534 00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:20,833 I began me education here, broadened me horizons. 535 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:23,900 Yeah, I learned the value of books. 536 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,567 Spent a lot time in the library. 537 00:28:25,667 --> 00:28:27,767 What about Debbie? 538 00:28:27,867 --> 00:28:30,267 Look, no, she'll support you, son. 539 00:28:30,367 --> 00:28:35,400 She's just going through a cranky decade. 540 00:28:38,733 --> 00:28:41,300 I'll-- I'll be around, yeah? 541 00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:08,233 Fuck me. 542 00:29:14,633 --> 00:29:16,400 I'll be in the lecture hall, Frank. 543 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:17,900 Sure you'll be all right, son? 544 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,200 Yeah. 545 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:20,700 You're becoming quite the reader, aren't you? 546 00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:37,600 So Liam, why do you think you should get this chance? 547 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:38,500 Don't know. 548 00:29:41,033 --> 00:29:43,800 You've been recommended by your school. 549 00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:44,933 Must be clever. 550 00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,000 Suppose. 551 00:29:49,100 --> 00:29:51,367 Why Why is education important in society, Liam? 552 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,267 How could I collect? 553 00:29:57,367 --> 00:29:59,100 His His trying to shag me lag! 554 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,700 Had its lipstick out and everything. 555 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:01,767 It was massive! 556 00:30:01,867 --> 00:30:05,267 The dog, or his lipstick? 557 00:30:05,367 --> 00:30:06,000 The dog. 558 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:07,300 Not good enough, Micky. 559 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,567 A man not fit to wipe my arse laughing at us. 560 00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:14,500 Well, it's time to let them know I'm back in time. 561 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,767 So long, my love. 562 00:30:15,867 --> 00:30:17,067 How do I look? 563 00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:18,500 Like on our wedding day. 564 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:19,433 I won't let you die. 565 00:30:25,267 --> 00:30:26,567 Thought I'd come for the ride. 566 00:30:29,567 --> 00:30:30,367 Grand. 567 00:30:36,867 --> 00:30:42,300 [distant voice] 568 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,200 Relax. 569 00:30:50,567 --> 00:30:51,867 Look! 570 00:30:51,967 --> 00:30:55,000 Your leg is moving! 571 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:56,367 How good am I? 572 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,567 Did you have much contact what you were in London? 573 00:31:01,667 --> 00:31:02,900 First couple years. 574 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,767 I was surprised you were working in prime minister's office 575 00:31:04,867 --> 00:31:06,000 at 18. 576 00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:07,600 - Thought [inaudible] palace. - Palace? 577 00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:09,200 Hm. Don't be soft. 578 00:31:15,567 --> 00:31:16,467 What's going on? 579 00:31:16,567 --> 00:31:19,167 It's uh, massage oil. 580 00:31:19,267 --> 00:31:21,800 I coudl move me leg. 581 00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:23,933 No, enough! 582 00:31:24,033 --> 00:31:25,533 Twice is plenty for one morning. 583 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,633 What? 584 00:31:26,733 --> 00:31:27,933 I'm the boss's son! 585 00:31:28,033 --> 00:31:30,033 Not slow out the blocks, is he? 586 00:31:30,133 --> 00:31:31,800 For someone who's just broke his duck. 587 00:31:40,533 --> 00:31:41,400 Come on. 588 00:31:45,700 --> 00:31:46,867 Thank you. 589 00:31:46,967 --> 00:31:48,467 And the small sweetener we discussed? 590 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:04,367 Ever disrespect this family, then 591 00:32:04,467 --> 00:32:09,867 I'll hunt you down and chop off your cock with a rusty blade. 592 00:32:09,967 --> 00:32:13,000 Do you fucking hear me? 593 00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,367 Now fuck off! 594 00:32:25,033 --> 00:32:26,433 Yes. 595 00:32:26,533 --> 00:32:28,333 I think we've seen enough, Liam. 596 00:32:28,433 --> 00:32:29,300 Thank you. 597 00:32:32,567 --> 00:32:33,933 - Easy, [inaudible]. - What in the name-- 598 00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:35,400 Sorry, sir. 599 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,867 This man's been apprehended stealing from the library. 600 00:32:36,967 --> 00:32:39,367 Says his son's being interviewed here. 601 00:32:39,467 --> 00:32:41,667 Well, it's all a mistake, kid. 602 00:32:41,767 --> 00:32:43,000 - What did he steal? - A book. 603 00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:44,133 I didn't steal it. 604 00:32:44,233 --> 00:32:45,433 I liberated it. 605 00:32:45,533 --> 00:32:47,367 Knowledge shouldn't be kept under lock and key. 606 00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:50,567 - Give it back, dad! - Where is the book? 607 00:32:57,633 --> 00:32:58,733 "The Joy of Sex." 608 00:32:58,833 --> 00:33:01,767 It's a standard text! 609 00:33:01,867 --> 00:33:03,700 An intelligent sex manual that is 610 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,067 serious without being solemn. 611 00:33:05,167 --> 00:33:06,633 Look, if you're not going to put 612 00:33:06,733 --> 00:33:08,800 him on the program because of all this, then it's your loss. 613 00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:10,933 How much difference is it going to make for some kid who gets 614 00:33:11,033 --> 00:33:14,167 dropped off at grammar school in a four by four every morning? 615 00:33:14,267 --> 00:33:16,600 An experience like this could change Liam's life. 616 00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:19,867 He hasn't exactly set the hair on fire. 617 00:33:19,967 --> 00:33:24,767 Education, from the Latin educare is important in society 618 00:33:24,867 --> 00:33:28,567 because more than money, more than status or wealth, 619 00:33:28,667 --> 00:33:31,400 it frees a person from the physical circumstances 620 00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:33,833 of their life and lets them come to their own opinion 621 00:33:33,933 --> 00:33:35,100 of the world. 622 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,833 And you can stop looking down your nose at us 623 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:41,367 because education isn't a gift for you to give or hold back. 624 00:33:41,467 --> 00:33:45,233 And if I don't get it here, I'll get it somewhere else. 625 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,567 You were doing so good up until that last bit. 626 00:33:59,033 --> 00:34:01,300 Can we talk? 627 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,833 Please. 628 00:34:02,933 --> 00:34:03,967 About what? 629 00:34:04,067 --> 00:34:08,600 Everything, before it's too late. 630 00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:11,900 I hope you don't mind, but we brought our own. 631 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,267 Celebrating? 632 00:34:14,367 --> 00:34:15,200 A toast. 633 00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:16,100 To? 634 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,400 Me, your new partner. 635 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:21,600 No fucking way! 636 00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:23,800 He offered. 637 00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:24,900 He's me boyfriend. 638 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,833 What was I gonna do, not tell him? 639 00:34:26,933 --> 00:34:27,933 You're buying me out? 640 00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:29,133 Well, I was going to ring, mate, 641 00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,800 but Mandy felt it better face to face. 642 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:32,300 [inaudible] he's got cash. 643 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,667 The fuck do you get out of it? 644 00:34:33,767 --> 00:34:35,167 It's a little estate. 645 00:34:35,267 --> 00:34:37,700 Pubs can earn a mint, mate, as long as they're run right. 646 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:38,900 Well, we don't want it. 647 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,300 Well, I'm afraid it's not up to you. 648 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:41,200 Jamie? 649 00:34:43,933 --> 00:34:45,100 Does my name go on the license? 650 00:34:52,833 --> 00:34:55,300 It's yours, mate. 651 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,667 Jamie! 652 00:34:57,767 --> 00:34:58,900 Look, don't worry, Karen. 653 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,700 I promise to be more of a sleeping partner. 654 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,367 How could "The Joy of Sex" mean a lot to you? 655 00:35:14,467 --> 00:35:18,267 Don't jump to conclusions, smart ass. 656 00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:21,867 Something profound happened. 657 00:35:21,967 --> 00:35:38,567 [sex sounds] 658 00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:40,167 Was it [inaudible]? 659 00:35:40,267 --> 00:35:41,533 Watch your mouth out! 660 00:35:41,633 --> 00:35:42,733 No! 661 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:46,567 It's just two horny students of ordinary vision. 662 00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:51,267 It was an epiphany. 663 00:35:51,367 --> 00:35:57,000 It made me realize that there's more to life than books. 664 00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:58,767 That's what books taught me. 665 00:36:03,267 --> 00:36:04,467 SECURITY GUARD: OK, will do. 666 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:08,633 Apparently you can go. 667 00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:09,833 Oh, great. 668 00:36:09,933 --> 00:36:12,100 Uh, what about-- 669 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,467 I wouldn't hold your breath. 670 00:36:15,567 --> 00:36:17,000 Come on, son. 671 00:36:28,167 --> 00:36:30,400 What did the doctor say? 672 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:31,800 Well-- 673 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,533 Micky, for fuck's sake! 674 00:36:33,633 --> 00:36:38,867 Yeah, it's-- fuck off! 675 00:36:38,967 --> 00:36:40,400 I'm an auxiliary nurse. 676 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:44,167 I've seen more cocks than George Michael's jacuzzi. 677 00:36:44,267 --> 00:36:47,867 Ah, bit delicate say. 678 00:36:47,967 --> 00:36:48,867 No on that one. 679 00:36:48,967 --> 00:36:50,800 Ricky, I'm [inaudible] shit! 680 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:51,800 Fucking hell. 681 00:36:51,900 --> 00:36:53,900 It's not what it looks like! 682 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,833 Well, you might want to close the door. 683 00:36:57,933 --> 00:36:59,700 - Look what you're done now! - Me? 684 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,400 Thinks we're at it! 685 00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:03,167 Fuck off. 686 00:37:03,267 --> 00:37:06,133 There is no lump, is there? 687 00:37:06,233 --> 00:37:07,300 I'm not a puff. 688 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,233 Ah! 689 00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:09,467 All right, but if Carl knows out, 690 00:37:09,567 --> 00:37:11,900 he'll suss I've been looking at his knob. 691 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,267 His knob's [inaudible] had worse. 692 00:37:13,367 --> 00:37:17,667 You've had them? I'm confused. 693 00:37:17,767 --> 00:37:19,100 How come? 694 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:20,500 Because I don't know if I've got a semi on because I'm 695 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,467 thinking about Carl or because you're still fondling 696 00:37:22,567 --> 00:37:23,367 me bollocks. 697 00:37:23,467 --> 00:37:24,300 Oh! 698 00:37:28,133 --> 00:37:29,367 I feel that's what we've got. 699 00:37:29,467 --> 00:37:30,567 Unrequited lust. 700 00:37:30,667 --> 00:37:31,467 Huh. 701 00:37:31,567 --> 00:37:34,767 I've had mine requited. 702 00:37:34,867 --> 00:37:37,267 Do with a bit more requiting. 703 00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:38,567 Are you sure about this story? 704 00:37:38,667 --> 00:37:39,500 Yes! 705 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,500 Well, just let me know if I'm being a gooseberry. 706 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,100 She was wanking me off. 707 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,667 Needed a few quid. 708 00:37:52,767 --> 00:37:55,033 [inaudible] pay us shite. 709 00:37:55,133 --> 00:37:56,833 I didn't enjoy it. 710 00:37:56,933 --> 00:37:57,767 Me neither. 711 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,133 He's a good-looking lad. 712 00:38:07,233 --> 00:38:08,333 Yeah, he is. 713 00:38:08,433 --> 00:38:09,833 Christ, he smells like a [inaudible].. 714 00:38:09,933 --> 00:38:11,667 Uh, I thought we were gonna gip. 715 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,000 I was trying to help. 716 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:25,833 Next time, don't bother. 717 00:38:25,933 --> 00:38:27,967 I can't win with you. 718 00:38:28,067 --> 00:38:29,133 If I help, you're in a strap. 719 00:38:29,233 --> 00:38:31,333 If I don't, you're still in a strap. 720 00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:33,033 You of all people should know the shit 721 00:38:33,133 --> 00:38:34,333 that you just dropped me in. 722 00:38:34,433 --> 00:38:35,500 Meaning what? 723 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,833 Meaning that Joe's going to be on me fucking 724 00:38:36,933 --> 00:38:39,567 back just like he's on yours. 725 00:38:39,667 --> 00:38:41,767 Don't dare insult me by denying it again. 726 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,900 We're out of tonic. 727 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,167 I'll pop out and get some. 728 00:39:03,467 --> 00:39:04,767 Mimo. 729 00:39:04,867 --> 00:39:05,700 What? 730 00:39:09,067 --> 00:39:10,033 I need time on my own. 731 00:39:22,767 --> 00:39:25,133 I thought I could do this, but my head's exploding. 732 00:39:31,900 --> 00:39:32,967 I need some relief. 733 00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:36,967 Just 10 minutes is all I'm asking. 734 00:39:37,067 --> 00:39:38,567 Do it, then. 735 00:39:38,667 --> 00:39:39,533 But I'll be there. 736 00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:00,767 I didn't want this. 737 00:40:00,867 --> 00:40:02,167 I know. 738 00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:05,300 I had no choice. 739 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,300 Hush now. 740 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,700 Forgive me. 741 00:40:11,233 --> 00:40:14,333 I already have. 742 00:40:14,433 --> 00:40:21,633 It's all her fault. Should never have fell for her. 743 00:40:21,733 --> 00:40:24,067 She did this. 744 00:40:24,167 --> 00:40:25,600 She did this. 745 00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:26,933 She did this. 746 00:40:27,033 --> 00:40:29,500 She-- she-- she-- she did this. 747 00:40:48,433 --> 00:40:49,833 Squeeze. 748 00:40:49,933 --> 00:40:51,067 Come on, hard. 749 00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:52,867 [inaudible] really go for it. 750 00:40:52,967 --> 00:40:55,767 Don't fucking think so! 751 00:40:55,867 --> 00:40:57,333 Just doing his exercises. 752 00:40:57,433 --> 00:40:58,767 I'll exercise your fucking face! 753 00:40:58,867 --> 00:40:59,667 [inaudible], no! 754 00:40:59,767 --> 00:41:01,867 Look, me hand! 755 00:41:01,967 --> 00:41:03,467 I can-- I can move it! 756 00:41:06,267 --> 00:41:08,333 Not sure whether to hug you or hack 757 00:41:08,433 --> 00:41:09,667 you to bits, fucking tramp. 758 00:41:09,767 --> 00:41:10,733 I got no pleasure out of it. 759 00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:11,967 (IMITATING) Hard! Harder! 760 00:41:12,067 --> 00:41:12,967 Again! 761 00:41:13,067 --> 00:41:14,300 It's a bit of encouragement. 762 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,067 She did fix my hand, [inaudible].. 763 00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:24,533 Get him walking again, I'll double what he's paying you. 764 00:41:24,633 --> 00:41:30,267 But no shagging, groping strictly with clothes on. 765 00:41:30,367 --> 00:41:31,200 Sound. 766 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,167 Looking for Rodney Tyler. 767 00:41:49,867 --> 00:41:50,767 Thought you might like this. 768 00:41:59,067 --> 00:42:00,167 You don't look too happy for a man 769 00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:03,600 who's just been given 40 grand. 770 00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:06,333 Just never thought it would come to this. 771 00:42:06,433 --> 00:42:07,467 It's what she wanted, mate. 772 00:42:10,067 --> 00:42:11,467 Look after her, will you? 773 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,067 Shit! 774 00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,433 Butterfingers. 775 00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:40,133 Last night, fucking A, so what? 776 00:42:40,233 --> 00:42:42,767 It never happened. 777 00:42:42,867 --> 00:42:44,100 She me best mate. 778 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:48,067 Her little girl in my room while I fuck her bloke. 779 00:42:48,167 --> 00:42:51,967 What sort of a cunt does that make me? 780 00:42:52,067 --> 00:42:54,433 The best sort. 781 00:42:54,533 --> 00:42:56,333 What? 782 00:42:56,433 --> 00:42:57,700 It stops now. 783 00:43:04,867 --> 00:43:08,233 This belongs to me now. 784 00:43:08,333 --> 00:43:09,133 End of. 785 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,333 Pensioners in Wiggin! 786 00:43:31,433 --> 00:43:33,600 Think they'd have enough misery in the lives living in Wiggin. 787 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:35,600 We got you robbing them of the life's savings. 788 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:36,733 How could you, Rodney? 789 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:37,867 It's all a misunderstanding, mum. 790 00:43:37,967 --> 00:43:39,733 Don't even fucking go there! 791 00:43:39,833 --> 00:43:41,267 And you? 792 00:43:41,367 --> 00:43:42,900 You might have told me that the fucking elephant man here 793 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,200 were a pathological liar before I took 794 00:43:45,300 --> 00:43:46,533 him upstairs and humped him. 795 00:43:46,633 --> 00:43:47,600 He said he'd changed! 796 00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:48,667 That's what liars fucking do! 797 00:43:48,767 --> 00:43:49,567 I should go. 798 00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:55,800 Thanks for not saying anything. 799 00:43:55,900 --> 00:43:57,900 Don't try the pathetic out with me, or you'll have 800 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,567 your bollocks for paperweights! 801 00:44:00,667 --> 00:44:02,067 Wait. 802 00:44:02,167 --> 00:44:03,533 I can't [inaudible] street empty handed. 803 00:44:07,667 --> 00:44:08,967 Are you mental? 804 00:44:09,067 --> 00:44:10,633 I have a responsibility as a mother. 805 00:44:14,733 --> 00:44:15,567 Nice one, mum! 806 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,067 You are one soft touch, Lillian. 807 00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:26,000 It's the counterfeits? 808 00:44:26,100 --> 00:44:26,900 What? 809 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,100 The forged bank notes. 810 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:29,467 I have a responsibility. 811 00:44:29,567 --> 00:44:31,200 I can't have him going round robbing old ladies. 812 00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:34,333 As soon as he starts to spend that, he'll get lifted. 813 00:44:34,433 --> 00:44:36,467 You crafty cow! 814 00:44:36,567 --> 00:44:38,100 I'm doing it because I have to, not 815 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:39,300 because it makes me happy. 816 00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:52,133 [knocking] 817 00:44:52,233 --> 00:44:53,233 Can I come in? 818 00:45:00,233 --> 00:45:02,800 They hand-delivered it. 819 00:45:02,900 --> 00:45:03,967 Open it, then. 820 00:45:04,067 --> 00:45:06,133 I'll burn it, you know, if you want. 821 00:45:06,233 --> 00:45:08,333 Why would I want you to do that, idiot? 822 00:45:08,433 --> 00:45:12,000 Cause you scared I'm going to go away, get [inaudible],, 823 00:45:12,100 --> 00:45:13,533 and never come back. 824 00:45:13,633 --> 00:45:15,033 No. 825 00:45:15,133 --> 00:45:17,167 I pray for that every night. 826 00:45:17,267 --> 00:45:18,733 I'm so proud of you, Liam! 827 00:45:21,133 --> 00:45:22,133 You open it. 828 00:45:34,700 --> 00:45:35,600 You got it! 829 00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:38,567 You got in! 830 00:45:38,667 --> 00:45:40,533 Carl, AJ, he got in! 831 00:45:40,633 --> 00:45:41,533 He got in! 832 00:45:41,633 --> 00:45:42,533 Dad! 833 00:45:42,633 --> 00:45:43,533 FRANK: What? 834 00:45:43,633 --> 00:45:44,933 SISTER: Mom! - No way. 835 00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:45,900 FRANK: Stop shout 836 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,300 [interposing voices] 837 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,267 KAREN (VOICEOVER): We're always happy in life, always, 838 00:45:51,367 --> 00:45:54,333 to accept responsibility and plaudits for the good things 839 00:45:54,433 --> 00:45:55,467 that happen. 840 00:45:55,567 --> 00:45:58,000 But when it comes to the bad, we start casting 841 00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:00,633 around for whose fault it is. 842 00:46:00,733 --> 00:46:04,133 My advice-- have a look in the fucking mirror. 843 00:46:04,233 --> 00:46:06,833 We're each responsible for our own actions 844 00:46:06,933 --> 00:46:08,800 and the consequences that result. 845 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:13,467 It's a 21st century disease, avoiding responsibility. 846 00:46:13,567 --> 00:46:15,933 Well, not me. 847 00:46:16,033 --> 00:46:17,700 Mea culpa. 848 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,700 Mea culpa. 849 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,533 Mea maxima culpa. 850 00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:25,433 And let the chips fall where they may. 851 00:46:25,533 --> 00:47:03,167 [theme music] 852 00:47:03,267 --> 00:47:06,733 So, Jerry, this is what you really want, is it not? 853 00:47:06,833 --> 00:47:08,267 Yes, Frank! 854 00:47:08,367 --> 00:47:09,267 Really! 855 00:47:09,367 --> 00:47:10,500 Really! 856 00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,567 Good, because I'm already on page 23. 857 00:47:18,733 --> 00:47:20,333 Bastard!