1 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:05,967 [music playing] 2 00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:09,233 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 3 00:00:09,333 --> 00:00:10,600 BOY: Oi! 4 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,133 FRANK: Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives they 5 00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,767 were given by him upstairs. 6 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:19,633 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 7 00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:21,100 - Wicked. - Piss off. 8 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,667 What sounds on Earth could ever replace kids needing 9 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:28,333 money or wives in your face? 10 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:30,233 'Cause this, people reckon-- 11 00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:33,233 me included-- is why pubs and drugs 12 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,833 were kindly invented to calm us all down 13 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,367 and stop us going mental. 14 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:43,200 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 15 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:49,167 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 16 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,933 You sit on our head, but you pay the taxes. 17 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,000 [chuckle] 18 00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:58,100 Imagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,633 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:01,567 [shout] 21 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:04,567 Make poverty history. 22 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,800 Cheaper drugs now. 23 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,900 Make poverty history. 24 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,833 Cheaper drugs now. 25 00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:12,367 [laugh] 26 00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:14,767 Scatter! 27 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,700 Party! 28 00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:23,567 I've sounded out loads of blokes on this. 29 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:28,033 99% of married men with families have fantasized 30 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:32,233 about said wives and families being killed, suddenly, 31 00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:35,133 instantly leaving formerly married man 32 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:38,533 free, single, unencumbered. 33 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,533 Harmless dreaming. 34 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,467 A necessary outlet. 35 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,967 You've got to have a fantasy life. 36 00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,533 If you didn't have an alternative world where 37 00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,900 everything went your way and Kate Moss 38 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,433 tickled your balls with a feather, 39 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:57,600 then you'd only have grim, gray, turgid, hopeless pisspot 40 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,967 reality, and we'd be throwing ourself 41 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,100 of bridges like lemmings. 42 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,800 Well, I would. 43 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,133 Mandy, can I take Katie to the park? 44 00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:07,667 Third time this week? 45 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,500 Yeah, we have a laugh. 46 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,733 Isn't that right, Katie? 47 00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:13,767 Be brill, going on swings and shit. 48 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,667 Watch her. 49 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,333 Park's a canine sewer. 50 00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:18,900 (QUIETLY) Go down. That's it. 51 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:19,867 All the way. 52 00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,167 Go down. 53 00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:22,800 So why are you really taking her to the park? 54 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,467 Me and Katie are bezzies. 55 00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:26,900 What color's her hair? 56 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,067 CARL: Get off, you dick. 57 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,400 - No, you don't even know. - Blonde. 58 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,533 Blonde. 59 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,167 Bab is a giant. 60 00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,467 They've got to induce. 61 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:35,733 You can only gobble so much madras. 62 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:36,767 Give 'em a bell. 63 00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,067 MONICA: Can you do it? 64 00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,533 Sounds better coming from a bloke. 65 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:41,700 They pay more attention. 66 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,867 (STAMMERS) It's phones. 67 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:46,667 It's not-- it's not me, babe. 68 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:47,833 [groan] 69 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,967 Oh, don't give me the bug-eyed look. 70 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,900 I'm coming to the fucking bullfight. 71 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,100 What more do you want? 72 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,033 Don't piss her about. 73 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,000 You know you'll go missing. 74 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,900 [rumbling] 75 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:58,867 Earthquake. 76 00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,933 MONICA: Third one this week. 77 00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,900 Rubbish-point-crap on the Richter scale. 78 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,833 The world stops on its axis at Dad 79 00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:06,600 claiming he'll keep his word. 80 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,367 You self-righteous little smart-ass. 81 00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:10,167 You're not too old to have your bollocks kicked 82 00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:12,633 around your head, you know. - Think you'll find I am. 83 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:14,200 [frank exclaims] 84 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,233 It's cold. 85 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,933 I didn't know that. 86 00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,233 Sissy boy. 87 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:27,500 Can't even permanently fucking disfigure me. 88 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,400 Yeah? 89 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,933 Never call me Dad again. 90 00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,033 You're the spawn of the devil. 91 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,400 Why do you always bring that up? 92 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,667 'Cause every day I'm reminded of it by looking 93 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:42,000 at your ugly fucking gob. 94 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,733 Hey, if that's a lad, we'd call it Ian. 95 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,733 Always thought that was a good name for one of mine. 96 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,333 You're a fucking waste. 97 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,867 Cheers for putting a word in, Mum. 98 00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:58,133 Can call you that, can't I? 99 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:03,200 [music playing] 100 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,000 YVONNE: Nearly there. 101 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,367 Come on, boy. 102 00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:09,600 20 more pence, you can do it. 103 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,600 Mm, lovely fags. 104 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:12,533 There you go, Frank. 105 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:13,833 52p for your coat. 106 00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:14,767 Bargain. 107 00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:16,233 Most jocular. 108 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:18,867 Shouldn't you be out working towards a safer community? 109 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,100 Day off. 110 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,067 I keep this on to scare the shoplifters. 111 00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:24,067 [rumbling] 112 00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,133 Another one. 113 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,667 [music playing] 114 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,267 [car alarms blaring] 115 00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:32,000 WOMAN: Fucking hell. 116 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,167 How many more? 117 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,367 And they were all like, "Oh, what was that?" 118 00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:41,433 FRANK: Oh, yeah. 119 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:42,533 Blitz spirit. 120 00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,500 People all together as one as the Earth 121 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,600 conspires against us by going on short spin cycle. 122 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,500 Tsunami from that wouldn't knock a digestive crumb 123 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,467 off a cup of tea. 124 00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:54,033 Where is the almighty hand of God? 125 00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:57,533 Pointing at you, shouting thief. 126 00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:58,433 What? 127 00:04:58,533 --> 00:04:59,567 How do you know? 128 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,800 He's been left on his own for five seconds. 129 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,467 What else would he fucking do? 130 00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:06,133 Waste. 131 00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:09,033 Well, that would appear to be the received opinion. 132 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,800 It is our duty to oppose it. 133 00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,767 I paid for them. 134 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:20,767 [music playing] 135 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,300 [katie gurgles] 136 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,500 Yeah, it's great, that, Katie. 137 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,000 Is there anything I can do? 138 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,700 Could you give us a foot massage? 139 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,600 I meant a cup of tea or whatever. 140 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,067 Christ sake, not for long. 141 00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:55,400 You've had all of us, you're going to have another, 142 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,700 and I feel like the fucking parent. 143 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,167 How is that? 144 00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:02,100 It's gonna be me that makes it up with Dad, if we do. 145 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,800 Who looks after me? 146 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,633 Shouldn't it be you? 147 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:10,100 We all make mistakes. 148 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,033 I've done me best. 149 00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,633 Your best is shit. 150 00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,567 Get off. 151 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,700 [music playing] 152 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,633 Sorry, Frank. 153 00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:27,767 You have to go outside. 154 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,367 Smoking ban. 155 00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:32,667 We lasted as long as we could, but the twats are on to us. 156 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,933 The pub's been burnt down. 157 00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:35,233 What harm can I do? 158 00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,667 Get us a big fine. 159 00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,500 Put us out of business. 160 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,633 We've been shot. 161 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,467 You sell fucking Es. 162 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,833 Nobody ever dies of secondary tripping. 163 00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:47,833 I'm the only tosser here. 164 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:49,467 Aw-- no. 165 00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:50,400 I say no. 166 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,833 Someone's gotta make a stand. 167 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:55,367 Custer, Davy Crockett, kid with his dick in the dyke. 168 00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:58,200 Add Frank Gallagher to that list. 169 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,500 I will not be cowed. 170 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,900 Moo. 171 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,400 [rumbling] 172 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,800 JAMIE: Oh! 173 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,700 Oh. 174 00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:12,267 Oh my god, you burst. 175 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:19,833 Shit. 176 00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,100 The bastard will sue our tits off. 177 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,067 IAN: Is it on its way? 178 00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,200 Well, a gallon of water breaking out the fanny 179 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,200 is a definite sign. 180 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,600 Don't say fanny. 181 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,967 Debbie, forget the drill. 182 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,667 Go and grab your dad and tell him bab is imminent. 183 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:34,633 I'll go. 184 00:07:34,733 --> 00:07:36,133 It's better if Debbie stays. 185 00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:37,467 No, Debbie go. 186 00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:38,200 But-- 187 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,900 She's too young. 188 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,467 That is my decision as a parent. See? 189 00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,467 I do make 'em. 190 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,833 EMT: That's it, great. 191 00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,233 Fuck. 192 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:51,533 We were gonna call. 193 00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:53,633 Your dad's had a fall, just a bit of a bump. 194 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,133 How? 195 00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:56,900 Happened out here. 196 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,800 Dad? 197 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,067 Is he gonna be all right? 198 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,967 EMT: Let's just get him to hospital first. 199 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:05,033 [music playing] 200 00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:11,600 Keep hold, Katie. 201 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,600 Katie, keep hold. 202 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:14,600 All right, Carl? 203 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,833 Hello, Katie. 204 00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,367 Chicken. 205 00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,733 [rumbling] 206 00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:25,000 Fucking hell. 207 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,067 Bindy. 208 00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:28,033 I was hoping you'd be here. 209 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,467 How's our pretty girl? 210 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:30,733 Eh? 211 00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:33,000 Oh, you're well good bringing her here all the time. 212 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,067 Any news on her mum? 213 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,333 Nah, she's still missing. 214 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,700 Hello, darling. 215 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,667 [groan] 216 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,267 [music playing] 217 00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:50,800 Oi, I'm trying watch this. 218 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,767 I want to talk. 219 00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:53,667 Here we go. 220 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,733 You're gonna dump us. 221 00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:56,633 No, I'm not. 222 00:08:56,733 --> 00:08:59,133 Well, why'd you say that? 223 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:00,633 Do you not think we're solid then? 224 00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:03,200 Yeah, of course I do. I-- I-- 225 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:07,000 I just think that you're gonna dump us sometimes. 226 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,800 What do you want to talk about? 227 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,733 - Doesn't matter. - Oh. 228 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,633 Another brew. 229 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,833 I know what you've done for our Shane, and I'm grateful. 230 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:22,767 He's a different boy. 231 00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:24,300 He needed to grow up. 232 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,533 But when you do move on, don't just disappear. 233 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,000 Speak to him first. 234 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,267 What? 235 00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:32,500 Why am I about to flit? 236 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,133 Because we know you better than you do. 237 00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:41,800 All right, in a bit. 238 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:42,700 You all right? 239 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:43,733 I've gotta go. 240 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,733 It's my dad. 241 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:45,933 He's on the way to hospital. 242 00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:47,900 Shit, Katie. 243 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,533 I'll look after her. 244 00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,267 If you want. 245 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:51,367 I'll give you me address. 246 00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:56,800 Yeah. 247 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,700 OK. 248 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:03,733 Here you go. 249 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,100 Cheers, Bindy. 250 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,200 You saved my life. 251 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,633 BINDY: Come on, Katie. 252 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,167 30 minutes from entry desk to bed. 253 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:18,900 Only beaten our own record. 254 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,967 - What's wrong with him? - He's in a coma. 255 00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,800 How long for? 256 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,467 Coma is as coma does. 257 00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:26,400 An hour. 258 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,733 Years. 259 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,100 Probably not years. 260 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,067 Give him a few hours. 261 00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:32,500 We'll dob him through X-ray. 262 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,967 - Are you really a doctor? - 'Course. 263 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,133 Why? 264 00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,333 Well, they're either foreign or posh. 265 00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,333 I am posh. 266 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,700 Awesome. 267 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,700 My mum's gone into labor. 268 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,167 Shall we tell her about him? 269 00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,133 DOCTOR: Never give bad news to a woman in the throes. 270 00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,667 I learned that from my ex. 271 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,900 Eh? 272 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,300 Suit yourself. 273 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,067 How is he? 274 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,033 Still unconscious. 275 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,900 There must be stuff we can do. 276 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:54,833 Coma crap. 277 00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,467 Talk to him. 278 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,933 Surround him with objects that he likes. 279 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,600 You never know-know till you give it a go-go. 280 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,600 Dr. Dickhead. 281 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,533 Do you need me here? 282 00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:06,567 Why? I panicked. 283 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:07,867 I left Katie in the park with a girl. 284 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,433 What? Who? 285 00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:10,167 Bindy. 286 00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:11,433 You stupid cock. 287 00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:12,400 Go and get her. 288 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,733 [music playing] 289 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:22,167 [phone ringing] 290 00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,367 Oh? 291 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,200 Hiya. 292 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,633 Doctor says not to tell Mum. 293 00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:26,533 Why not? 294 00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:27,833 'Cause she'll go mental. 295 00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:29,067 Are you coming? - I can't. 296 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,300 She's gonna drop. 297 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,300 Well, I'm staying here till he wakes up. 298 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,000 Put the phone to his ear, close. 299 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,600 Hi, Dad-- I mean, Frank. 300 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,967 What do I say, wake up? 301 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,133 Could say that any day of the week, 302 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,833 won't make no difference then either. 303 00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:48,200 We don't get on. 304 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,000 I'm not what you want in a son. 305 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,500 I'm not your son. 306 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,000 And you're not my dad. 307 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,667 Oh, Mum's in labor. 308 00:11:57,767 --> 00:11:59,533 If it's yours. 309 00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:01,633 Have they found him yet? 310 00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:02,567 No. 311 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,500 Shit. 312 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,467 Nurse! 313 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:14,433 [music playing] 314 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:18,000 [siren blares] 315 00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,600 Look, see there? 316 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:26,967 That's nothing, my dear. 317 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:30,733 He'll be back with us before you know it. 318 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,667 Bindy. 319 00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,200 About so high. 320 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,567 She's quite fit, about medium to large. 321 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,200 Proper round tits with just a hint of nip. 322 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,567 What does her face look like? 323 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,933 She's-- 324 00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:44,067 [inaudible] 325 00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,000 Sort of average looking. 326 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,533 Uh, sorry, mate. 327 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,367 Ain't got a clue. 328 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,900 Her tits are fucking fantastic. 329 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,300 Someone's gotta remember them. Come on, lads. 330 00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,233 What are they? 331 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,400 They said try him with stuff he likes. 332 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,600 Can't think of anything else. 333 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,533 Where'd you get 'em? 334 00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:04,467 Gabby on reception. 335 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,200 What do we do? 336 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,667 Wait. 337 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,000 MONICA: Harder. 338 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,567 My thumbs are murder. 339 00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:17,733 Well, there'll be murder if you stop. 340 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,100 Can you ring Debbie again? 341 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,033 What's the point? 342 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,533 He's not gonna come. 343 00:13:21,633 --> 00:13:22,533 He lets everyone down. 344 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,800 Accept that. 345 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,133 Give birth. 346 00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:28,333 No, he said he'd be here, and he will be here. 347 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,667 [monica groans] 348 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:34,833 Do you think I'm still the youngest? 349 00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,133 Mum's had loads of kids. 350 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,733 She could probably drop another in her sleep. 351 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:41,633 He needs us here. 352 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:42,667 I'm staying. 353 00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,400 LIAM: So am I then. 354 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,533 Why do girls wear make up and perfume? 355 00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:51,667 'Cause they're Ugly and they smell. 356 00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:52,633 Do you want some? 357 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:54,767 Um. 358 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,333 He's bleeding again. 359 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,633 He's gonna have all sorts of involuntary actions, you know, 360 00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,133 smiling and that. 361 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,600 We're just to ignore him unless his eyes open. 362 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,033 What do we talk to him about? 363 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,800 Tell him stuff about the family. 364 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,033 What you talk about normally. 365 00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,633 I never talk to him normally. 366 00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,567 All right. 367 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,233 Here's your chance. 368 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,733 Dad, every night when he thinks I'm sleeping, 369 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,667 Carl has a wank. 370 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:19,700 Is that normal? 371 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:20,800 Oh, he's going to wake up now. 372 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,033 [moan] 373 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,467 Midwife should be here by now. 374 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,567 Maybe she got held up or something. 375 00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:32,433 [screaming] 376 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,767 How long will it be? 377 00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,067 MONICA: Well, how should I know? 378 00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,567 Don't we time the contractions? 379 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:42,333 If you know so much about it, why don't you deliver it? 380 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:46,300 Let's go somewhere with white coats and machinery that beeps. 381 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,733 Anyway, it's not like you're gonna get turned on, is it? 382 00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:49,667 You're my mum. 383 00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:50,767 Yeah. 384 00:14:50,867 --> 00:14:52,667 I'm a woman. 385 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,033 I've known you were that way since you were six. 386 00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,167 You know I'm gay? 387 00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:57,067 That's what I said. 388 00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,000 You didn't say that. 389 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,033 Why didn't you mention it? 390 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,133 It's none of my business. 391 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,533 Anyway, you didn't feel need to share, so why should I? 392 00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,067 It's starting again. 393 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,167 Can you rub my back for me? 394 00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,567 Oh. 395 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:10,533 Katie and Carl back? 396 00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:11,700 No. 397 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,000 Has he called? 398 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,033 He's not answering his mobi. 399 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,033 I don't know where he is. 400 00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,367 We're pretty busy here, Mandy. 401 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,833 Is he a nurse or a doctor? 402 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:31,867 Nurse. 403 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,233 They're just chatting. 404 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:37,567 If he was a doctor, they'd be crawling up his ass. 405 00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:41,367 - I'd never be a male nurse. - Why not? 406 00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:43,200 It's not gay. 407 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,300 I know it isn't, but you spend all day shaving men's pubes 408 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,900 off. 409 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,467 Who told you that? 410 00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:52,600 Gabby on reception. 411 00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,233 I can't find her. 412 00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:56,433 The address Bindy gave, it's a wreck. 413 00:15:56,533 --> 00:15:57,767 No one lives there. 414 00:15:57,867 --> 00:15:58,700 What am I gonna do? 415 00:15:58,800 --> 00:15:59,800 I've bloody lost Katie. 416 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,067 Mandy's gonna wazz off the scale. 417 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:03,133 (QUIETLY) Shut up. 418 00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,733 Right, this girl, what do you know about her? 419 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,600 Nothing. 420 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,567 Her name, Bindy. 421 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:09,533 What does she look like? 422 00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:10,967 She's sort of-- 423 00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:13,833 (MUFFLED) Any news on her mum? 424 00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,500 I'm rubbish at descriptions. 425 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,733 She's just normal. 426 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:17,767 She stole a kid. 427 00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,400 It could be a mistake. 428 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,700 She gave you a false address. 429 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,633 Do you think she'll hurt her? 430 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:24,900 Don't think so. 431 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,333 She seems to really love kids, in a good way. 432 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:29,133 [sigh] 433 00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,500 I'll ring Tom. 434 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,267 But you're gonna have to tell Mandy. 435 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,333 - She'll kill me. - Yeah, you deserve it. 436 00:16:37,633 --> 00:16:39,800 Yeah, I'll wipe it off. 437 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,367 [music playing] 438 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,933 Where is she? 439 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,467 PADDY: What does she look like? 440 00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:00,433 (MUFFLED) Any news on her mum? 441 00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:02,300 Pink top, she's got a pink top. 442 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,867 Every girl in 10 miles is wearing a fucking pink top. 443 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,400 What if she's changed her clothes? 444 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,467 Let's Do him. 445 00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,933 I'm the only one that'll recognize her. 446 00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:12,067 - You don't know fuck. - I will if I see her. 447 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,833 If Katie's been hurt, I'll kill him. 448 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,100 I don't think she'd hurt her. 449 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,367 She really liked her. 450 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,133 That's the reason I took her in the first place. 451 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:20,467 You used our Katie as bait. 452 00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:21,400 CARRIE: Maguire? 453 00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:25,233 OK. 454 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,500 We'll take over. Police matter. 455 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,100 We didn't call you. It's a Maguire matter. 456 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,767 We'll drive him around, see if we can find her. 457 00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:31,767 Come on. 458 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,100 Come with us, Carl. 459 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,100 What are we doing? 460 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,200 Fucking get out looking. - Move. 461 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,600 Split up. Call everybody you know. 462 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,500 Go! 463 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,467 [music playing] 464 00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:43,867 MIMI: Come here, love. 465 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,333 Close. 466 00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:46,067 BOTH: Stop! 467 00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:47,333 That was mine. 468 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,800 LIAM: That was cheating. [interposing voices] 469 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,967 Mine-- mine did. 470 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,367 [continuous beep] 471 00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:52,400 Shit. 472 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,567 What? 473 00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:55,500 What? 474 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,267 DEBBIE: That noise. 475 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,033 What? 476 00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,767 Just stopped his heart. 477 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,300 [beeping] 478 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,200 We've killed him. 479 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,000 Nurse! 480 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,933 Nurse! 481 00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,867 [defibrillator whirring] 482 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:14,933 Come on, don't do this to me. 483 00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:16,167 Clear! 484 00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,600 Come on, talk to me. Talk to me. 485 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:18,533 Come on! Clear! 486 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,933 Oh, sorry, luvvies. 487 00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:25,767 Give you a scare? 488 00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,800 No harm done. 489 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,800 Always flying off. 490 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,567 [machine beeping] 491 00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,467 What where you doing with them? 492 00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:35,400 Nothing. 493 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,600 Can you smell burning? 494 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,567 No. 495 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,400 [music playing] 496 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,167 TOM: Is that her there? 497 00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:48,367 CARL: I don't know. 498 00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:51,000 You've got to do better than this, Carl, please. 499 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,000 She's got Katie. 500 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,267 I've got like a mental block. 501 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,700 You're not helping yourself here. 502 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,667 Fuck off, you. 503 00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:58,233 I still think you're a pedo. 504 00:18:58,333 --> 00:18:59,300 Carl. 505 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,133 You ever heard the phrase police brutality? 506 00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:05,767 Is this normal? 507 00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:06,900 As far as I can remember. 508 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,600 I think I've blotted most of it out. 509 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,633 I'm not surprised. 510 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,600 Horror show. 511 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,167 [monica moans] 512 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,933 How did you know? 513 00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,300 I barely knew myself. 514 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,267 There was something different about you. 515 00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:24,167 You weren't like Lip, all bustle and breakages. 516 00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:27,033 You were-- - Don't say sensitive. 517 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,633 No, not just that. 518 00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:32,900 I am your mother. 519 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,600 I did think about you and how you'd be. 520 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,900 I did. 521 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,400 I'm surprised you haven't moved on. 522 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,000 I might never live in a family again. 523 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:48,000 Oh, here comes another one. 524 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,933 They must've sent another midwife by now. 525 00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:52,700 Here you are, mate. 526 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,633 [music playing] 527 00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,333 Can't find him. 528 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,067 No one's coming. 529 00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,100 We're on our own. 530 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,900 Please, let's go to the hospital. 531 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,167 No, not till Frank gets here. 532 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,800 I want to do it proper this time. 533 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,167 I want both parents there. 534 00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:11,767 I want a real start for the baby. 535 00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:16,233 [music playing] 536 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,200 LIAM: Is that an involuntary reaction? 537 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,300 DEBBIE: Probably claim that. 538 00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:29,867 Is it gone? - You look. 539 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:30,800 You're the oldest. 540 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,700 You're gonna be a bloke. 541 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,800 You look. 542 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:33,700 Safe. 543 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,900 I'm not around this aftie. 544 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,067 LILLIAN: Eh? 545 00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:41,000 Things to do. 546 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:41,967 Are you all right, love? 547 00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:43,700 Do you need a friendly ear? 548 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,500 Nose out, Lillian. 549 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,800 [music playing] 550 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,200 SHANE: Are you helping? 551 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,300 - What? - Looking for Katie. 552 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,600 Who? 553 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,900 Our Mandy's baby. 554 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,200 Mandy's got a baby? 555 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,067 Yes. 556 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,967 You've seen her loads of times. 557 00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:04,100 What's happened? 558 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,967 Some girl's run off with her. 559 00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:06,900 Fuck. 560 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,533 That's fucking well sick. 561 00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:09,767 What you doing anyway? 562 00:21:09,867 --> 00:21:10,900 I thought you was on a double shift. 563 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,300 GP check up. 564 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,000 I go all the time, sparing you the full facts. 565 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:15,967 I've gotta go. 566 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,500 I'll see you in a bit. 567 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,067 CLINICIAN: Want a glass of water? 568 00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:25,767 And that's it, gone? 569 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,333 You can come back for a check up afterwards if you want. 570 00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:30,900 You always this helpful? 571 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,667 Or are you specially keen to make sure I don't drop one? 572 00:21:34,767 --> 00:21:36,767 We treat everyone the same. 573 00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:38,967 It's your decision. 574 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,833 [music playing] 575 00:21:42,933 --> 00:21:44,167 [monica groans] 576 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:45,967 How long can this go on for? 577 00:21:46,067 --> 00:21:48,533 Oh, fucking days. 578 00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:49,433 Days? 579 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,500 Piss off. 580 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,333 I'm knackered. 581 00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:52,567 It must be ready to come out. 582 00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:55,200 Yeah, it is. 583 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,467 I'm holding it in. 584 00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:57,367 What? 585 00:21:57,467 --> 00:21:58,400 I mean it. 586 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,967 It's not coming out till Frank's here. 587 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:06,467 He's in a coma in hospital. 588 00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:09,500 Well, why didn't you fucking tell me? 589 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,100 The doctor said not to. 590 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,467 Oh, get me fucking bag. 591 00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:14,400 Oh. 592 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,967 I spy with my little eye-- 593 00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:21,900 We're not that desperate. 594 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:22,833 IAN: Coming through! 595 00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:24,133 [monica pants] 596 00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:25,433 - What is it? - I had to tell her. 597 00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:26,933 She wouldn't give birth till she got here. 598 00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:27,867 Well, I can't watch. 599 00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:28,833 LIAM: Me neither. 600 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:29,767 IAN: It's down to me again. 601 00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:31,267 Get a nurse! 602 00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,733 MONICA: Oh, do you think you could wake up for the birth? 603 00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:33,800 IAN: Look at the useless asshole. 604 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,233 He's out for the fucking count. 605 00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,800 MONICA: Don't talk about your dad like that! 606 00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:37,800 IAN: He's not my dad. 607 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,767 [monica groans] 608 00:22:39,867 --> 00:22:43,767 [music playing] 609 00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:47,200 [birds twittering] 610 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,633 You're awake. 611 00:22:49,733 --> 00:22:53,067 About fucking time, mate. 612 00:22:53,167 --> 00:22:55,600 Brekkeroo. 613 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:57,933 Hey, what's with the city boy stripes? 614 00:22:58,033 --> 00:23:00,100 Fucking belting opportunity, mate. 615 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,600 Luck's in, Daddio. 616 00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:05,267 With your son by your side, we're gonna rock the world. 617 00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:07,033 Room at the trough for all the little pigs. 618 00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:09,300 We need a chat once you finish malingering. 619 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:15,833 Five minutes R and R, then we teleport. 620 00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:17,333 Ready for your injection, nurse? 621 00:23:17,433 --> 00:23:18,600 [nurse giggles] 622 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:20,900 MONICA: He's coming, Frank. 623 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,033 IAN: You're doing great. MONICA: Baby's coming. 624 00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,500 IAN: Keep breathing. Come on, push. 625 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,467 [monica screams] 626 00:23:26,967 --> 00:23:28,300 Now then, now then. 627 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,433 How's about? 628 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:32,367 How's about concentrating on the main event? 629 00:23:32,467 --> 00:23:33,733 Me. 630 00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:36,300 Later. 631 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,233 You're like a dog with two fucking dicks. 632 00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:40,633 Do you know what you're looking apart 633 00:23:40,733 --> 00:23:42,567 from a fucking handsome devil? 634 00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:43,933 Shock me to my bones. 635 00:23:44,033 --> 00:23:47,667 Behold Svengali, the showbiz entrepreneur. 636 00:23:47,767 --> 00:23:50,300 I sniff out the small acts, promote them in clubs. 637 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,100 Screw the girls, take all the money, and flog 'em on. 638 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,500 Fucking license to print, mate. 639 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,400 I'm wedged. 640 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:56,300 Flower, Dad? 641 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,700 Oh, thanks, Lola, lovely. 642 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,033 Fighting fit? 643 00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:02,767 Back to the best of myself, Lo, the very best. 644 00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:06,133 That's the fucking spirit, our dad. 645 00:24:06,233 --> 00:24:07,267 Can you do that any harder? 646 00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:08,200 Jesus. 647 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:11,800 I'm straight off me deathbed here. 648 00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:12,833 Daddy's home. 649 00:24:12,933 --> 00:24:14,800 [all exclaim] 650 00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:18,167 What's with the blankets? 651 00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:19,333 I'm sorry, Frank. 652 00:24:19,433 --> 00:24:21,933 I've gone all insidey-outsidey again. 653 00:24:22,033 --> 00:24:23,667 Jesus Christ, Sheila-Monica. 654 00:24:23,767 --> 00:24:24,633 I told you. 655 00:24:24,733 --> 00:24:26,000 You've gotta stop it, babe. 656 00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:28,567 I've run out of special pills. 657 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,567 She's cooked for you. 658 00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:30,600 I've tried it. 659 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,400 Awesome, bloody gorgeous pie. 660 00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,200 Melty mega. 661 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:37,000 WOMAN IN RED: I've done your ironing for you, love. 662 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,933 It's a tonic to see all my girls lined up. 663 00:24:40,033 --> 00:24:41,167 Got any socks that need mending? 664 00:24:41,267 --> 00:24:42,700 Oh, I-- I could wash your hair. 665 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,600 Give the man some space. 666 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:46,100 Been in a coma. 667 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,633 If that's not the fucking definition of deserving a pint, 668 00:24:48,733 --> 00:24:50,367 I don't know what is. 669 00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:51,400 Can I come? 670 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,700 Sorry, mate, you still only got one arm. 671 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,633 It's all that wanking. 672 00:24:54,733 --> 00:24:55,900 I warned you. 673 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:56,967 It's worth an arm. 674 00:24:57,067 --> 00:24:58,033 ALL WOMEN: Aw. 675 00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:00,900 SHEILA: Bye! 676 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:01,867 MONICA: Bye! 677 00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,267 Bye, love you. 678 00:25:03,367 --> 00:25:05,000 IAN: Come on, let's talk business. 679 00:25:10,433 --> 00:25:11,900 [belch] 680 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,467 Filled an 'ole. 681 00:25:13,567 --> 00:25:15,433 [music playing] 682 00:25:15,533 --> 00:25:16,400 Scratch an itch. 683 00:25:20,233 --> 00:25:22,200 It's your fucking round. 684 00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:24,033 You're the best. 685 00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:25,200 Apart from your dad, of course. 686 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,367 Oh, thanks for that, Karen. 687 00:25:26,467 --> 00:25:28,500 It's always nice to be remembered. 688 00:25:31,767 --> 00:25:34,000 So what do you say? 689 00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:34,900 What? 690 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,700 To me being your manager. 691 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:37,733 Managing what? 692 00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:39,100 You really don't know? 693 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,067 FRANK: What? 694 00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:41,300 You're a talented guy. 695 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,733 With my help, sky's the fucking minimum. 696 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:44,800 Infinity's the limit. 697 00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:45,733 Pads! 698 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:46,633 [whistles] 699 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,733 Who is the funniest guy you have ever seen or met? 700 00:25:51,833 --> 00:25:54,400 I've seen Les Dawson, Tarby, Fat 701 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,867 Bernard, Creepy Doddy, the lot. 702 00:25:56,967 --> 00:26:00,267 Funniest man I've ever met, Frank. 703 00:26:00,367 --> 00:26:01,000 Me? 704 00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:02,133 Without a doubt. 705 00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,000 Frank Gallagher, you crack me up. 706 00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,933 Cheers, Pads, on your way. 707 00:26:06,033 --> 00:26:07,300 I'm funny? 708 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,533 All you need to do is get up on stage and rant 709 00:26:09,633 --> 00:26:10,533 like a bastard. 710 00:26:10,633 --> 00:26:11,467 Try it out here. 711 00:26:11,567 --> 00:26:12,367 Talent night tonight. 712 00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,300 Thank you, Chatsworth! 713 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,267 Good night! 714 00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:21,000 You've been a wonderful audience! 715 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:24,533 [cheering] 716 00:26:30,567 --> 00:26:31,500 Do you believe me now? 717 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,433 I do! 718 00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:33,533 I do. 719 00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:35,967 That was the moment I've been waiting for. 720 00:26:36,067 --> 00:26:40,133 I am finally, ugh, born. 721 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:42,667 That's what it feels like, like I've been born. 722 00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:43,800 Perspective, mate. 723 00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:45,533 Don't blow it out your ass just yet. 724 00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:48,100 It's only The Jockey. 725 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,667 Do we have a deal? 726 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,300 FRANK: We do. 727 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,467 I'm gonna be a fucking star. 728 00:26:58,567 --> 00:27:01,467 Finally, recognition. 729 00:27:01,567 --> 00:27:02,433 Yeah! 730 00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:05,833 [cheering] 731 00:27:05,933 --> 00:27:07,400 It's all down to you, son. 732 00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:10,800 [monica groans] 733 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:12,200 IAN: Keep pushing, Mum. 734 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,100 I can see its head. MIDWIFE: Keep pushing. 735 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,667 You're doing well. MONICA: It's coming! 736 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:16,600 IAN: You're doing great. 737 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:17,733 One last push, Mum. 738 00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:18,867 You've gone stellar, haven't you? 739 00:27:18,967 --> 00:27:20,967 Can't get away from you on the box. 740 00:27:21,067 --> 00:27:22,700 I hear they're making a documentary about you, 741 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,967 aren't they? 742 00:27:24,067 --> 00:27:25,167 Thought he were clever, but he were 743 00:27:25,267 --> 00:27:28,100 not but a thieving, pikey twat. 744 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,967 But smoked his own weight every week. 745 00:27:30,067 --> 00:27:31,500 So what can you do, eh? 746 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,133 Despite the booze, the fags, the drugs, 747 00:27:35,233 --> 00:27:38,567 he does have surprisingly sweet breath. 748 00:27:38,667 --> 00:27:41,200 For years, he's pretended I'm a man in drag. 749 00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:42,833 Bloody gay, I reckon. 750 00:27:42,933 --> 00:27:44,267 Calls me Bob Selecta. 751 00:27:44,367 --> 00:27:47,533 Still, better than Phil Selecta. 752 00:27:47,633 --> 00:27:48,800 [imitates gun firing] 753 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,967 BIG BROTHER: Day 88 in the House. 754 00:27:51,067 --> 00:27:52,700 Elton's having a difficult one, though. 755 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,067 You know, a bit down. 756 00:27:54,167 --> 00:27:55,633 BIG BROTHER: And do you think that could have 757 00:27:55,733 --> 00:27:57,900 anything to do with the fact you called him a fat, bald gaylord? 758 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,567 [music playing] 759 00:28:01,867 --> 00:28:03,300 TV PRESENTER: All right, let's see how Franky fares 760 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,867 in his tough fucker trial. 761 00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:09,433 Get me 762 00:28:09,533 --> 00:28:13,000 [music playing] 763 00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:15,867 JUDGE: Oh. 764 00:28:15,967 --> 00:28:18,400 Doesn't his paso doble stand out? 765 00:28:23,467 --> 00:28:26,967 This is where history began, talent night here. 766 00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:28,300 [laughs] 767 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,100 Pissed it. 768 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,833 Acting all shit-faced. 769 00:28:32,933 --> 00:28:34,200 The irony is I don't drink that much. 770 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:35,167 You know, it's an act. 771 00:28:35,267 --> 00:28:38,133 It's a, you know, a persona. 772 00:28:38,233 --> 00:28:39,767 INTERVIEWER: You've been very generous in attributing 773 00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:42,167 a large portion of your success to your son, Ian. 774 00:28:42,267 --> 00:28:43,433 Mm. 775 00:28:43,533 --> 00:28:45,233 I believe you signed half your earnings over to him. 776 00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:47,700 Sorry, can't talk about that. 777 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,000 INTERVIEWER: Oh, all right, let's-- let's cut that. 778 00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:52,867 Big news, Daddio. 779 00:28:52,967 --> 00:28:53,867 What, another triumph? 780 00:28:53,967 --> 00:28:55,067 I could get bored with them. 781 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:57,233 Too fuckety-fuck it is. 782 00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:59,633 Adam Sandler's dropped out of some shit film, 783 00:28:59,733 --> 00:29:00,967 and they want you. 784 00:29:01,067 --> 00:29:01,900 Hollywood? 785 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,567 Exactamundo. 786 00:29:03,667 --> 00:29:04,967 Globalization. 787 00:29:05,067 --> 00:29:07,633 Everything we've ever hated is ours. 788 00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:10,867 You're fucking Starbucks and McDonald's wrapped 789 00:29:10,967 --> 00:29:13,600 in a stream of pissed bollocks. 790 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,867 I'm a franchise? 791 00:29:15,967 --> 00:29:17,100 A Frankise! 792 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,233 [both laugh] 793 00:29:19,333 --> 00:29:22,367 Me and a line of sons reaching 'round the world. 794 00:29:22,467 --> 00:29:23,767 My loins. 795 00:29:23,867 --> 00:29:24,667 Success. 796 00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:29,300 God, I've got a good one when I got you. 797 00:29:32,467 --> 00:29:33,300 What's that? 798 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,100 I've rescued a little baby puppy. 799 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,333 What the fuck for? 800 00:29:36,433 --> 00:29:37,733 For us. 801 00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:40,600 But we can't take it to America because he's scared of flying, 802 00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:41,600 too. 803 00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,933 (ECHOING) Please, I need you. 804 00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:45,933 Monica needs you. 805 00:29:46,033 --> 00:29:47,933 Choose the real thing. 806 00:29:48,033 --> 00:29:48,933 Hold him, Frank. 807 00:29:49,033 --> 00:29:49,900 It's real. 808 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,433 Choose the thing. 809 00:29:51,533 --> 00:29:52,633 It isn't a choice. 810 00:29:52,733 --> 00:29:53,567 You signed this. 811 00:29:56,233 --> 00:29:59,733 I'm everything you wished for. 812 00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:01,800 That's a copy. 813 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:02,733 What? 814 00:30:02,833 --> 00:30:03,700 You owe me money, Frank. 815 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,133 Gotta pay. 816 00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:07,667 MONICA: (ECHOING) Wake up, Frank. 817 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:09,233 I need you! 818 00:30:14,467 --> 00:30:16,233 I did say I was a handsome devil. 819 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,600 But-- but I'm your father. 820 00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:21,500 I made you. 821 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,533 Not strictly true. 822 00:30:24,633 --> 00:30:29,033 No blood, as you never fucking tire of reminding me. 823 00:30:29,133 --> 00:30:30,033 Choose us, Frank. 824 00:30:30,133 --> 00:30:31,200 Take the puppy. 825 00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:32,000 Take it. 826 00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:34,567 Don't touch to puppy, Frank. 827 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,533 Don't touch it. 828 00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:36,933 Don't touch the puppy. 829 00:30:37,033 --> 00:30:38,900 Don't touch the puppy. 830 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,033 [screams] 831 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,433 MONICA: He's awake. 832 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,167 What's this? 833 00:30:53,867 --> 00:30:57,033 Where's its tail? 834 00:30:57,133 --> 00:30:58,467 It ain't got a tail. 835 00:30:58,567 --> 00:30:59,833 It's little girl. 836 00:30:59,933 --> 00:31:01,067 Oh, another one? 837 00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:07,100 You all right? 838 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:10,633 I'm glad you where there. 839 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,833 Did I faint? 840 00:31:16,933 --> 00:31:17,800 It weren't too bad. 841 00:31:17,900 --> 00:31:18,733 She's lying. 842 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:20,900 Fucking horrible. 843 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,800 She did really well. 844 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,500 MONICA: Ian was here for me. 845 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,800 Will you say hello to your little sis, Ian? 846 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:33,800 [music playing] 847 00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:47,067 Two hours. Two hours. 848 00:31:47,167 --> 00:31:48,233 What if they've not found-- 849 00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:48,967 Stop. 850 00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:51,667 Look at what we know. 851 00:31:51,767 --> 00:31:52,633 It's a woman. 852 00:31:52,733 --> 00:31:54,567 That's got to be good news. 853 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:55,933 She likes Katie. 854 00:31:56,033 --> 00:31:57,133 She met her a few times. 855 00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:59,267 Carl trusted her. 856 00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:01,233 Even he's not stupid enough he'd leave her 857 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:04,767 with a proper fucking headcase. 858 00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:06,100 You let him take her out. 859 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,767 So it's my fault? 860 00:32:07,867 --> 00:32:10,300 No. 861 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:15,700 You left Katie with him, so he can't be that untrustworthy. 862 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,500 She will be found. 863 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,433 [music playing] 864 00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:30,700 You got a light, love? 865 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,300 Uh, yeah, somewhere. 866 00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:37,033 Here you go. 867 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,800 Cheers. 868 00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:43,733 Cheers. 869 00:32:46,467 --> 00:32:47,367 How old is she? 870 00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:50,200 Uh, three. 871 00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:51,200 What's your name, sweetie? 872 00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,033 She's called Gemma. 873 00:32:54,133 --> 00:32:56,100 I don't really like people smoking around her. 874 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,100 Yeah, apparently, it's bad for you. 875 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:04,233 [music playing] 876 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,633 Katie? 877 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,833 LIAM: She's massive. 878 00:33:14,933 --> 00:33:17,067 DEBBIE: She looks about three months old. 879 00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,900 Can you go and get your mum, Debbie? 880 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,000 I was going to get off. 881 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,167 Can't Liam do it? 882 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:24,633 What, you're leaving your old dad? 883 00:33:24,733 --> 00:33:25,733 I'm seeing Tom. 884 00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:26,667 I'll get her. 885 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,267 What are you gonna call her? 886 00:33:34,367 --> 00:33:36,833 Stella. 887 00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:38,333 Good name. 888 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,400 Pretty. 889 00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:42,633 Why don't you call her Tenants Purple or Thunderbird? 890 00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:43,933 Fuck sake, Dad. 891 00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:45,133 Not the beer. 892 00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:48,333 Jesus, I'm not that fucking deranged. 893 00:33:48,433 --> 00:33:51,800 Stella for star. 894 00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:54,400 Our little star. 895 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:58,700 [music playing] 896 00:34:03,133 --> 00:34:04,200 What's that for? 897 00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,467 Thanks for looking after your mum. 898 00:34:06,567 --> 00:34:07,467 It's appreciated. 899 00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:11,733 You're a good son. 900 00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:19,200 Sometimes I look at you and mum 901 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,833 and I can see you very neatly work. 902 00:34:21,933 --> 00:34:23,667 Bugger me. I fucking can't. 903 00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:32,267 KELLY: Have you stopped? 904 00:34:32,367 --> 00:34:34,100 You can't even fucking look after her. 905 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,000 Look at the state. 906 00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:37,633 She's filthy. 907 00:34:37,733 --> 00:34:41,000 I just thought I could be a mum to her since hers ran off. 908 00:34:41,100 --> 00:34:42,667 She hasn't run off. 909 00:34:42,767 --> 00:34:46,167 She's desperate. 910 00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,633 She really looks like my little sister. 911 00:34:47,733 --> 00:34:48,867 Don't tell me. 912 00:34:48,967 --> 00:34:51,933 She died in a terrible fucking accident. 913 00:34:52,033 --> 00:34:54,633 BINDY: We had a fire. 914 00:34:54,733 --> 00:34:55,533 Fuck. 915 00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:01,267 Is that true or are you just fucking nut? 916 00:35:01,367 --> 00:35:03,667 Of course it's true. 917 00:35:03,767 --> 00:35:06,233 It's my sister. 918 00:35:06,333 --> 00:35:09,767 I didn't know what to do. 919 00:35:09,867 --> 00:35:11,200 At the time, I wasn't thinking. 920 00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:15,233 I just-- I wrote our old address down without thinking. 921 00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:19,300 And then-- I'm sorry. 922 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,033 I don't you to drop your load, but her family 923 00:35:25,133 --> 00:35:28,333 are well fucking creative when it comes to revenge. 924 00:35:28,433 --> 00:35:31,633 Get help, and get it a long way from here. 925 00:35:31,733 --> 00:35:32,533 I will. 926 00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:40,167 Quite nice really, isn't she? 927 00:35:40,267 --> 00:35:44,967 Girl didn't mean any harm, I don't think. 928 00:35:45,067 --> 00:35:46,133 MANDY: Katie. 929 00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:47,067 MIMI: Is she all right? 930 00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:48,933 She's lovely. 931 00:35:49,033 --> 00:35:50,433 Did you see the girl, Bindy? 932 00:35:50,533 --> 00:35:51,433 Yeah. 933 00:35:51,533 --> 00:35:52,533 TOM: Can you give us a description? 934 00:35:52,633 --> 00:35:55,133 Can do better than that. 935 00:35:55,233 --> 00:35:58,267 Got a photie. 936 00:35:58,367 --> 00:35:59,733 TOM: Carl, take a look. 937 00:35:59,833 --> 00:36:01,367 CARRIE: That her? 938 00:36:01,467 --> 00:36:03,733 You haven't got one with a bit more of her in, have you? 939 00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:06,200 Like what? 940 00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:07,533 More upper body. 941 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:11,933 Fuck it. 942 00:36:12,033 --> 00:36:13,033 That's her, deffo. 943 00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:18,667 PADDY: Thank God. 944 00:36:18,767 --> 00:36:20,533 And Kelly. 945 00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:22,933 Some terrible things have been said about this girl. 946 00:36:23,033 --> 00:36:24,233 Yeah, mainly by you. 947 00:36:24,333 --> 00:36:26,367 Shut up, dickless. 948 00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:29,000 And I'm sorry, but that's behind us now. 949 00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:31,500 This house will always be grateful and always 950 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,600 have a welcome for you. 951 00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:33,900 Ta. 952 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,833 Ta. 953 00:36:35,933 --> 00:36:37,767 So what do we do with Carl? 954 00:36:37,867 --> 00:36:39,167 Don't anything to him. 955 00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:40,333 We've got her back now, and that's all that matters. 956 00:36:40,433 --> 00:36:42,600 No, I meant what do we do with him? 957 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:45,033 Do we leave him there? 958 00:36:45,133 --> 00:36:46,167 I'm gonna be sick! 959 00:36:49,033 --> 00:36:51,067 You can't just fucking leave me here! 960 00:36:53,567 --> 00:36:54,400 Help! 961 00:37:02,167 --> 00:37:03,233 SHANE: How were check up? 962 00:37:03,333 --> 00:37:04,000 What? 963 00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:05,300 You went to the doctors. 964 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,067 Oh. 965 00:37:06,167 --> 00:37:07,700 Yeah, I'm fine. 966 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,533 Bollocks. 967 00:37:09,633 --> 00:37:11,800 What are you lying for? 968 00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:12,700 Tell me. 969 00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:19,933 I was arranging an abortion. 970 00:37:20,033 --> 00:37:22,300 You can do it with a pill now. 971 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,500 Is it mine? 972 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,367 Well, you're the only man I've been careless with. 973 00:37:25,467 --> 00:37:26,933 I haven't had any accidents with anyone else. 974 00:37:27,033 --> 00:37:27,867 Is it mine? 975 00:37:27,967 --> 00:37:29,233 Yes, it's fucking yours. 976 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:34,467 Did you take it? 977 00:37:37,467 --> 00:37:39,733 No, not yet. 978 00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:40,767 Good. 979 00:37:40,867 --> 00:37:42,033 Fucking hell, Kelly. 980 00:37:42,133 --> 00:37:44,300 We've got a traditional, a family tradition. 981 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,633 Maguires, you knock a girl up and you 982 00:37:47,733 --> 00:37:48,833 stick by her, no matter what. 983 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:49,733 What? 984 00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:55,400 Kelly. 985 00:37:55,500 --> 00:38:02,933 You're a wave washed over my whole life. 986 00:38:03,033 --> 00:38:05,133 You made it worth something. 987 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:09,933 Shane? 988 00:38:10,033 --> 00:38:11,067 Shut up. 989 00:38:11,167 --> 00:38:14,033 I'll do anything for you. 990 00:38:14,133 --> 00:38:15,133 I worship you. 991 00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:20,633 I love you. 992 00:38:20,733 --> 00:38:22,100 I want us to have this baby. 993 00:38:26,833 --> 00:38:28,300 FRANK: Oh, that's better! 994 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,100 Full house, I was beginning to think it was empty 'round here. 995 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,200 Has she done anything yet? 996 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,733 Yeah, yeah, she's give us a tip 997 00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:37,800 on a horse and invited us 'round to the pub to wet her head. 998 00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:38,733 Yeah? 999 00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:40,267 Joke. 1000 00:38:40,367 --> 00:38:41,800 You know, you may not realize, but your dad is a funny guy. 1001 00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:42,767 LIAM: Yeah, right. 1002 00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:44,033 Yeah. 1003 00:38:44,133 --> 00:38:47,900 Well, then, gather 'round. 1004 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:54,600 And say hello to Stella Iana Gallagher. 1005 00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:55,533 Iana? 1006 00:38:59,033 --> 00:39:00,533 Oh. 1007 00:39:00,633 --> 00:39:01,333 Yeah. 1008 00:39:01,433 --> 00:39:02,700 Now who wants to hold her? 1009 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,600 Me. 1010 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:09,200 Good girl. 1011 00:39:11,533 --> 00:39:13,100 - Where you off? - Get changed. 1012 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:14,700 Can't go to the pub like this, can I? 1013 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,000 I'll get my jacket. 1014 00:39:16,100 --> 00:39:17,833 You're dumping her on us already? 1015 00:39:17,933 --> 00:39:19,400 Wait, come back! 1016 00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:23,700 [music playing] 1017 00:39:26,733 --> 00:39:29,567 [laughter] 1018 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,567 Mum, Dad. 1019 00:39:34,667 --> 00:39:35,767 I'm up the chuff. 1020 00:39:35,867 --> 00:39:39,167 [cheering] 1021 00:39:39,267 --> 00:39:41,967 That'll be the making of you. 1022 00:39:42,067 --> 00:39:43,467 I'm delighted. 1023 00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:44,833 Thank you. 1024 00:39:44,933 --> 00:39:45,767 MIMI: Did you hear that? 1025 00:39:45,867 --> 00:39:46,733 Pregnant. 1026 00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:48,733 That's how you do it. 1027 00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:51,167 PADDY: I'll be proud to be the grandfather of your child. 1028 00:39:51,267 --> 00:39:52,467 And what about the prossie stuff? 1029 00:39:52,567 --> 00:39:53,700 What prossie stuff? 1030 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:54,867 And the drugs. 1031 00:39:54,967 --> 00:39:55,800 Shit. 1032 00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:58,067 What drugs? 1033 00:39:58,167 --> 00:40:01,967 Is there a Maguire tradition if you knock a girl up? 1034 00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:03,867 There is. 1035 00:40:03,967 --> 00:40:05,367 Never give your real name. 1036 00:40:05,467 --> 00:40:09,233 [music playing] 1037 00:40:16,367 --> 00:40:19,767 - You fucking romantic bastard. - Drinks. 1038 00:40:19,867 --> 00:40:20,967 A celebration. 1039 00:40:21,067 --> 00:40:23,600 Hey, we have had another little one. 1040 00:40:23,700 --> 00:40:26,067 Is there anything you wouldn't use to get a free drink? 1041 00:40:26,167 --> 00:40:29,200 I have had a bang on the head. 1042 00:40:29,300 --> 00:40:30,767 Drinks are on the house tonight, Frank. 1043 00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:31,933 First round. 1044 00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:32,933 That'll do. 1045 00:40:33,033 --> 00:40:34,067 Oh-- 1046 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:35,800 Watch where you're fucking going. 1047 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:38,067 I'm Kelly fucking Maguire, nearly. 1048 00:40:38,167 --> 00:40:39,133 FRANK: Good evening-- oh. 1049 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,267 Good evening, Chatsworth. 1050 00:40:44,367 --> 00:40:45,667 Yeah. 1051 00:40:45,767 --> 00:40:50,133 As some of you may already know, we have become a father again. 1052 00:40:50,233 --> 00:40:52,300 Thank you, thank you. 1053 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,933 Little Stella is over there with the rest 1054 00:40:55,033 --> 00:40:57,033 of my wonderful family-- 1055 00:40:57,133 --> 00:41:00,333 Liam and Debbie and Carl and Ian. 1056 00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:05,800 And my wife Monica. 1057 00:41:05,900 --> 00:41:09,800 I could not be prouder, and I would 1058 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:12,767 like to take this opportunity of giving you my impersonation 1059 00:41:12,867 --> 00:41:14,800 of Stephen Hawking in the bath. 1060 00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,033 Thank you. 1061 00:41:17,133 --> 00:41:19,500 For the universe is complete. 1062 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,633 [interposing voices] 1063 00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:25,033 [rumbling] 1064 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:26,767 Don't mock that man. 1065 00:41:26,867 --> 00:41:28,300 He's a fucking hero. 1066 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,000 Off. 1067 00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:32,433 Bollocks. 1068 00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:33,700 PADDY: Party. 1069 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,267 Here you are. 1070 00:41:35,367 --> 00:41:37,500 FRANK: Little Stella. 1071 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,033 ALL: Stella. 1072 00:41:40,133 --> 00:41:41,333 IAN: Cheers. 1073 00:41:41,433 --> 00:41:42,267 Dad. 1074 00:41:44,533 --> 00:41:47,767 Dick. FRANK (VOICEOVER): Dick? 1075 00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:49,500 Oh yeah, cheers. 1076 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,867 All this nature versus the other bugger's shite, bollocks. 1077 00:41:52,967 --> 00:41:55,767 Comes down to it, you know you're a parent if you're being 1078 00:41:55,867 --> 00:41:57,467 abused and you don't mind. 1079 00:41:57,567 --> 00:41:58,667 Say anything. 1080 00:41:58,767 --> 00:42:01,400 Say the un-fucking-sayable and carry on like sod 1081 00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,567 all's happened. 1082 00:42:02,667 --> 00:42:04,633 That's family. 1083 00:42:04,733 --> 00:42:08,200 I'm Frank Gallagher, and I'm a fucking dick. 1084 00:42:08,300 --> 00:42:14,367 (SINGING) The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky, 1085 00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:19,200 are there on the faces of people going by. 1086 00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:25,500 I see friends shaking hands, saying, How do you do?" 1087 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,067 They're really saying-- 1088 00:42:28,167 --> 00:42:29,233 FRANK AND LOUIS ARMSTRONG (SINGING): 1089 00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:32,600 "I hear babies crying. 1090 00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:34,967 I watch them grow. 1091 00:42:35,067 --> 00:42:40,967 They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." 1092 00:42:41,067 --> 00:42:42,133 Oi, Frank, put that out. 1093 00:42:42,233 --> 00:42:43,067 IAN: Come on, Liam. 1094 00:42:43,167 --> 00:42:44,833 Time for your bottle. 1095 00:42:44,933 --> 00:42:46,000 FRANK: Fuck. 1096 00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:47,300 FRANK AND LOUIS ARMSTRONG (SINGING): 1097 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:54,667 And I think to myself what a wonderful world. 1098 00:43:00,467 --> 00:43:12,400 Yes, I think to myself what a wonderful world. 1099 00:43:25,867 --> 00:43:26,700 FRANK: Fuck you. 1100 00:43:37,767 --> 00:43:40,667 [urine splashing] 1101 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,267 Get a good eyeful, won't you mate?