1 00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:05,767 [sirens] 2 00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:08,600 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:09,833 Oi! 4 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,500 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Come and watch pikeys 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,867 making a mess of their lives they were given 6 00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:17,967 by them upstairs and kids they're convinced 7 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,567 aren't actually theirs. 8 00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:21,067 - Wicked! - Piss off! 9 00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:22,600 FRANK (VOICEOVER): What sounds on Earth 10 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:28,333 could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face. 11 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:29,867 Because this, people reckon-- 12 00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:33,400 and me included-- is why pubs and drugs 13 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,833 were kindly invented, to calm us all down 14 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,367 and stop us going mental. 15 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:43,167 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 16 00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:48,633 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 17 00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:54,533 You sit on our head, but you pay the taxes. 18 00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:57,733 Imagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:02,133 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:04,800 Make poverty history. 21 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,900 Cheaper drugs now! 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,900 Make poverty history! 23 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,367 Cheaper drugs now! 24 00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:12,767 [laughs] 25 00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,333 Scatter! 26 00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:16,133 Party! 27 00:01:16,233 --> 00:01:20,267 [music playing] 28 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,167 Now, I'm not one given to quoting Scousers unless 29 00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:29,567 absolutely necessary, but as Cilla Black once said, 30 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,633 before she became a cross between a pimp and 31 00:01:31,733 --> 00:01:33,833 a cheerleader on Blind Date-- 32 00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:39,200 (SINGING) What's it all about, Alfie? 33 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,133 They don't speak Latin. 34 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,500 They speak Spanish. 35 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,933 No, really? 36 00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,333 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Scurrying around, 37 00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:47,233 trying to suss it all out. 38 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:51,767 Truth, love, family. 39 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:55,100 Oi, dick head! 40 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,733 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Makes my head hurt. 41 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,867 But In life, you have to play the cards you're dealt 42 00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:05,133 even if the cards are shite. 43 00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:08,467 That was a metaphor, obviously. 44 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:11,333 "The Great Escape" with Steve McQueen and James Garner. 45 00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:12,867 Oh, he was a fine looking man. 46 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,300 Charlie Bronson, you can't beat it. 47 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,500 I like "The Rockford Files." 48 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,567 That's not a war movie. 49 00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,000 What about "Platoon?" "Hamburger Hill?" 50 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,133 "Full Metal Jacket?" 51 00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:20,367 (SINGING) The cattle are glowing. 52 00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,133 The cattle are not fucking glowing. 53 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,967 - What? - The cattle are not glowing. 54 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:24,867 They're lowing. 55 00:02:24,967 --> 00:02:25,967 What's lowing? 56 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,067 It's the sound that cattle make. 57 00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:28,000 Play your cards. 58 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,467 You're one to talk. 59 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,367 You thought it was "Our Father who art in Heaven, Howard 60 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:32,833 be thy name" till you were 15. 61 00:02:32,933 --> 00:02:34,667 [laughter] - Cows say moo. 62 00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:35,600 Not in the Bible. 63 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,500 They low in the Bible. 64 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,533 Anyway, most of "The Great Escape" was lifted. 65 00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:41,567 It's a true story. 66 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:42,933 And what are you, the movie police? 67 00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:44,133 I can like any film I want. 68 00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:45,500 You're just in a bad mood because you 69 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,400 got the scabby Queen. 70 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,500 No, I don't. 71 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,600 I might be bluffing. 72 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,033 Go for the one on the left, son. 73 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:55,800 You're safe with that. 74 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,100 Go on. 75 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,067 Fuck's sake! 76 00:02:58,167 --> 00:02:59,633 [laughter] 77 00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:00,633 Fuck off! 78 00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:02,033 [laughter] 79 00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:04,633 [dog barking] 80 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:08,300 - Sorry, can't hold it in. - Oh, charming. 81 00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:14,733 Smile. 82 00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:16,967 Quit it! 83 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,833 [camera clicking] 84 00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,500 WOMAN: Bastard. 85 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,433 Jesus Christ! 86 00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:26,267 Oh, my God! 87 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:27,267 What's happened to her? 88 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:30,900 Can you tell me your name? 89 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,933 Call for an ambulance. 90 00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,000 And I peed on her. 91 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:36,967 Oh, wait, no. 92 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:39,433 Let me. 93 00:03:39,533 --> 00:03:41,633 Ambulance, please. 94 00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:44,967 Yeah, I'm on Quarriers Lane, Chatsworth. 95 00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:47,767 There's a girl, late teens, Asian. 96 00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,200 Uh, looks to have been assaulted. 97 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,300 I'm a police officer. 98 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,300 [beeping] 99 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,667 Hello? 100 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,100 Battery's dead. 101 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,900 - I'll wait with you. - No, you can't. 102 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,667 You know that. 103 00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,467 Can you hear me? 104 00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,367 Debs! 105 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:01,133 I know. 106 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:02,533 Just call me. 107 00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:05,533 [music playing] 108 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:06,933 TOM: Oh, Jesus. 109 00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:11,533 [music playing] 110 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:30,400 There's no more milk. 111 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,433 It's been a week. 112 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,100 You can't just not talk to me forever. 113 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,400 We live in the same house, for God's sake. 114 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,967 I'm sorry I'm going out with the bloke you fancy. 115 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,233 I don't fancy him. 116 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,333 Didn't have you down as the jealous type. 117 00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:43,100 Jealous? 118 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,700 Of you and paedo plod? 119 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,200 Don't make me fucking laugh. 120 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:47,833 What's going on? 121 00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:48,833 Nothing. 122 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:49,933 (TOGETHER) Time of the month. 123 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:52,300 What, both of you? 124 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,400 (SINGING) Sisters, sisters. 125 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,633 Never were there such devoted sisters. 126 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:03,200 Lord help the mister that comes between me and my-- 127 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:03,933 [sniffs] 128 00:05:04,033 --> 00:05:05,467 --sister. 129 00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:07,233 Oh, I love that. 130 00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:08,833 We're not sisters. 131 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:12,667 [music playing] 132 00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:20,767 NORMA: Oh! 133 00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:21,833 EVERYONE: Go! Go! 134 00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:22,833 Go! Go! 135 00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:24,333 Go! Go! 136 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:25,333 Go! 137 00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,733 [cheering] 138 00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:31,733 [music playing] 139 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,967 MONICA: Morning, Norm. 140 00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:36,267 Aye. 141 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,433 Overdo it a bit last night, Norma? 142 00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:39,967 Tastes like a camel shat in my mouth. 143 00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:42,567 Is that why you've got the hump? 144 00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:43,833 I made a joke! 145 00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:45,467 NORMA: Aye, hilarious. 146 00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:46,467 Oh, God. 147 00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:48,133 I think I've got a bug working on us. 148 00:05:48,233 --> 00:05:51,067 Doesn't seem to have dented your fashion sense, though. 149 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,467 MONICA: Oh, nice. 150 00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:53,600 Can I borrow them? 151 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,300 Like none of you have even been pissed, eh? 152 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,300 Good morning, dad. 153 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,767 Not if you've been sleeping in a fucking wheelbarrow 154 00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:06,733 all night, it's not. 155 00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:14,167 [music playing] 156 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,367 Did you give a description? 157 00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,867 Well, nothing comprehensible while I was around. 158 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,967 At the time I gave my statement, she was in with the doctors. 159 00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:29,933 DEBBIE (ON PHONE): Definitely rape? 160 00:06:30,033 --> 00:06:31,300 Yeah. 161 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,067 They reckon she might have had her drink spiked. 162 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,467 Poor girl. 163 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,633 I know, it's horrible. 164 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:38,333 Anyway, our officers are in with her again now. 165 00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:40,633 Listen, I think might know about us. 166 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,533 How? 167 00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:42,567 I'm not sure. 168 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:44,167 She was singing a song about sisters. 169 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:46,767 I'm surprised it's taken them this long, to be honest. 170 00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,500 Anyway, look, I gotta go. 171 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,433 Speak to you later. 172 00:06:49,533 --> 00:06:50,333 OK. 173 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,833 MAN: Thanks, love. 174 00:06:57,933 --> 00:07:00,000 See you next week. 175 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:03,600 [music playing] 176 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:05,500 LILLIAN: Hey! 177 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,467 You can't just barge in! 178 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,833 You're back? 179 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,333 Evidently. 180 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,100 I-- when? 181 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,600 A few days ago. 182 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,867 Lillian kept me room open. 183 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:21,667 Believe it or not, I've developed 184 00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,733 an affection for this shithole. 185 00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:24,900 Sorry, love. 186 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,200 He just barged in like gangbusters. 187 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,000 It's all right, Lillian. 188 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,233 He were just leaving. 189 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,667 I can handle meself, you know. 190 00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:37,967 Did you plan to tell me? 191 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,233 Why would I? 192 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,000 Us? 193 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,367 There is no us, Shane. 194 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:43,500 Fuck's sake, how many times to I need to say it? 195 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,200 And that's it? 196 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,967 You're a cold hearted bitch. 197 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,067 Wait. 198 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,133 This belongs to you dad. 199 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,567 Every sovereign's there. 200 00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:08,567 Tell him I decided not to take him up on his offer. 201 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:12,633 [music playing] 202 00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:14,933 LILLIAN: [inaudible] 203 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:18,933 SHANE: Fuck off. 204 00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,133 There you go. 205 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,833 Working brunch for the Good Samaritan. 206 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,067 Ah, cheers. 207 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,033 God, I'm knackered. 208 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:26,467 Didn't get in till gone four. 209 00:08:26,567 --> 00:08:27,400 Any more info? 210 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,667 They wouldn't tell me anything. 211 00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,067 That's a bit weird, isn't it? 212 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,867 I'd have thought you were their blue eyed boy, doing 213 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,333 a shift off duty like that. 214 00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,667 I mean, professional courtesy. 215 00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:36,567 You did a good thing. 216 00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:37,667 Get that down your neck. 217 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,567 Tim O'Leary? 218 00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:44,167 You're under arrest on suspicion of rape 219 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:45,133 and grievous bodily harm. 220 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,400 [music playing] 221 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,533 You don't have to say anything, but it may harm your defense 222 00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:52,000 if you do not mention when questioned something which 223 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,967 you later rely on in court. 224 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,100 I'm sorry, pal. 225 00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:58,767 It's ridiculous! 226 00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:00,167 I was helping her! 227 00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:01,867 We know that, but the rape kit shows that whoever 228 00:09:01,967 --> 00:09:03,700 did this used a condom, so there's 229 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,033 no semen samples to clear you. 230 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,300 And she identified you. 231 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,367 She was drugged and barely conscious. 232 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,467 Mine was just the first face she saw! 233 00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,067 Where'd you get them scratches on your neck? 234 00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,067 None of your business. 235 00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:14,467 Do you think I did this? 236 00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:15,633 Don't be stupid! 237 00:09:15,733 --> 00:09:17,000 Course not. 238 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,500 But it would help if you start giving some answers, 239 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,267 like what were you doing out there at that time of night? 240 00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:23,000 I was getting some fresh air. 241 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,233 I've did nothing wrong! 242 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,767 Sure you don't want a lawyer present, Constable? 243 00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,900 I don't need one. 244 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,733 [music playing] 245 00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:40,067 Serves him fucking right if he's done it. 246 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:41,433 We don't know that yet. 247 00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:47,733 What? 248 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:55,467 Your, um-- your boyfriend's been arrested for rape. 249 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:56,367 - 250 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:57,500 What? 251 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,067 Asian girl, down Quarrier Lane last night. 252 00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:00,700 I know where-- 253 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,633 how do you all-- 254 00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,500 You told him. 255 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,800 Your mom overheard us arguing in here last week. 256 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:08,767 I never said a word. 257 00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,033 She didn't. 258 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:11,400 And I think I've done really well keeping 259 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,200 quiet about it considering how tense 260 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,567 it's been between you two. 261 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,033 He didn't do anything. 262 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:17,233 It's all over the Estate, Debs. 263 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:18,800 I was with him all night. 264 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:20,400 We were together when we found her. 265 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,100 If I was of a particularly paranoid disposition, 266 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,100 this would bother me. 267 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,833 You turfing me out? 268 00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:37,767 No. 269 00:10:37,867 --> 00:10:38,800 You want me dole money? 270 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:39,867 No. 271 00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:40,767 Happy days. 272 00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:46,033 So? 273 00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,600 What you going to do? 274 00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:50,400 I need to see him. 275 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,200 I'll just-- I'll tell them that I was with him. 276 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,167 Debs. 277 00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:56,800 Are you sleeping with him? 278 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,100 You're going to get him off a rape charge by telling them 279 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,733 he was busy sleeping with an underage girl at the time? 280 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,667 Are you happy now! 281 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:14,900 She's shagging him? 282 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:19,000 [music playing] 283 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,667 [sighs] 284 00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:32,067 Ah! 285 00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:33,233 You slag! 286 00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:36,567 Oi! 287 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,400 Fiona Bruce! 288 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,067 When I asked you to stash those dodgy MOT certificates 289 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,933 in the toilet system, you did seal the bag probably, 290 00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:45,067 didn't you? 291 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:47,533 - Yeah, I think so. - You think so? 292 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,067 It's usually much later in the day 293 00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:54,100 before I start wondering what I did to deserve you. 294 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,233 [music playing] 295 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,900 Hair of the dog? 296 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,467 Just a glass of water, thanks. 297 00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:10,867 Who was I drinking with last night? 298 00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:14,033 Anyone who'd have you, apparently. 299 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,100 EVERYONE: Norma! Norma! 300 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,067 Norma! Norma! 301 00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:17,067 Norma! Norma! 302 00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,067 Norma! Norma! 303 00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,200 Norma! Norma! 304 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:19,967 Norma! 305 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:21,033 Norma! 306 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,567 What was the occasion? 307 00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:27,200 There wasn't one. 308 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:30,733 I just came in for a quiet half hour to read the paper. 309 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,867 It kind of got out of hand. 310 00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:35,467 No one in particular, then? 311 00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:36,400 Something wrong? 312 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:42,133 I-- 313 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:46,033 I woke up wearing somebody else's trousers. 314 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,567 No pants. 315 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:52,500 I've got no memory. 316 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,300 How much do false MOT certificate retail at? 317 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,767 Enough to make it worth my while flogging them. 318 00:12:57,867 --> 00:13:00,200 Enough to make it a complete fucking embarrassment when 319 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:02,067 I meet big Dessier Sandersen. 320 00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:03,433 I'll work it off. 321 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,167 Work? 322 00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:05,300 It's only money, dad. 323 00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:12,133 Why would you give Kelly nigh on 3 grand? 324 00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,067 Not here, Shane. 325 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:13,967 Not today. 326 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,400 I've had enough for today. 327 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,567 She says she's rejected your offer. 328 00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:20,200 What offer? 329 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,200 So the tart's back in town, is she? 330 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,533 She's got balls, I'll give her that. 331 00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:30,167 I gave her a stipend to ease her path 332 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:33,800 out of here and away from you. 333 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,500 Call it paternal concern. 334 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,633 Who the fuck do you think you are? 335 00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:41,900 You'd better get that tone out of your voice quick there, 336 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:42,800 sonny. 337 00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:50,200 You're a bully and a cunt. 338 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,633 That's unacceptable. 339 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,900 Dad. 340 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,133 Dad! 341 00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:57,200 Mind your business. 342 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,500 Think you're big enough to take a pop at the old fella? 343 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,400 [music playing] 344 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,700 You owe her an apology. 345 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:10,667 [crash] 346 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,200 [music playing] 347 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,967 Dad, that's enough! 348 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:22,767 No, it is not, unless your choosing sides. 349 00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:24,800 Stay out of it, Jamie. 350 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,133 Got anything to add? 351 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,967 Don't hurt my brother! 352 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,700 Don't hurt my brother? 353 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,067 It's in his hands. 354 00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:35,600 [music playing] 355 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:36,600 [crash] 356 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:40,133 [chatter] 357 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,133 Leave Leaving Fuck them! 358 00:14:45,233 --> 00:14:46,867 I'm ringing your mom. 359 00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:51,033 [music playing] 360 00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,467 And what would baby like today? 361 00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:57,533 Left or right? 362 00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,367 Right one. 363 00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:02,967 MIMI: Get out of my fucking way! 364 00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:03,867 Move! 365 00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:05,267 What's going on? 366 00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:08,267 Paddy Maguire's knocking ten bells out his lad. 367 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,833 Shit! 368 00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:12,133 What about baby's lunch? 369 00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,433 Oh, go to Tesco's! like the rest of the country. 370 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,133 Stay down. 371 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:23,367 He'll kill you. 372 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,933 He's going to have to. 373 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:32,100 [music playing] 374 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:40,433 Patrick! 375 00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:46,400 Oh, my God! 376 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,400 Fuck's sake, dad! 377 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:52,367 [music playing] 378 00:15:57,867 --> 00:15:59,500 What are you fucking looking at! 379 00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,067 He started it. 380 00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:10,467 Jesus! 381 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:11,367 Shane! 382 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:15,433 Bastard! 383 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:19,433 [music playing] 384 00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:26,433 How many's that? 385 00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:27,700 14. 386 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,033 And they say romance is dead. 387 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:33,167 He didn't do this, you know. 388 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:34,767 Of course he didn't. 389 00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,700 But why is he being so divisive? 390 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,800 His alibi's a load of rubbish. 391 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,033 Scratches on his neck? 392 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,133 I don't know. 393 00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:43,333 We're his mates. 394 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,067 [music playing] 395 00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:51,533 [chatter on tv] 396 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,333 How is he? 397 00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:54,300 At the hospital with Kelly. 398 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,400 Are they keeping him in? 399 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,033 Don't know. 400 00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,567 What are you up to? 401 00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:01,867 Just trying to get my head around it. 402 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,467 Shane? 403 00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:04,933 Debbie. 404 00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:07,467 You can't be mad at her. 405 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:08,567 I'm not mad. 406 00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:10,900 Well, what was all that about this morning? 407 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,100 The argument? 408 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,700 It's like she wants me to be her best 409 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,267 mate about it or something. 410 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,100 Hardly likely, is it? 411 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,033 She could probably use a best mate right now. 412 00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:22,367 It was really humiliating, Ian. 413 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,000 That's not Debbie's fault. 414 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,600 Never said it was. 415 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:29,633 My life's hardly a Mills and Boon romance, though, is it? 416 00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:32,433 Try being queer in the land that time forgot. 417 00:17:32,533 --> 00:17:34,067 How hard can it be? 418 00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:36,467 All I want's a decent shot at a decent bloke. 419 00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:37,600 Me and all. 420 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,533 [chuckles] 421 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,833 Jesus, what a pair. 422 00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:44,600 Oh, ha ha fucking ha. 423 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,867 At least I'm not stood there with bromide in me brew, 424 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,033 withering on the vine. 425 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,633 We weren't laughing at you. 426 00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:52,500 Oh, weren't you? 427 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,000 Well, it's always best to get your blows in first. 428 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,667 And who's withering on the vine? 429 00:17:56,767 --> 00:17:59,067 Evidence to suggest otherwise? 430 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:03,200 [music playing] 431 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:11,533 Fucking hell, Ursula. 432 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,900 And I swallow. 433 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,867 Why are you taking olive oil into school? 434 00:18:15,967 --> 00:18:16,867 Home eccy. 435 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:18,600 Has it's other uses, of course. 436 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:19,533 Later. 437 00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:25,200 Honestly Honestly, Ursula, this has never happened before. 438 00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,100 I fancy you like fuck. 439 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,267 Tell that to your cock. 440 00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,800 I get hard-ons all the time. 441 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:29,967 You can hang a wet towel off it. 442 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,533 A dry face cloth would be a start. 443 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,233 Wake up, you rucking idiot. 444 00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:51,800 Curry's on. Let yourself out. 445 00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:59,300 [train whistle] 446 00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,967 PADDY: It's all I've got. 447 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,333 We agreed on 80. 448 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:12,067 I've got customers waiting for their MOT. 449 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,733 You'll get the rest at the end of the week, 450 00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:16,100 and a 20% discount on the order. 451 00:19:19,733 --> 00:19:22,233 How's your boy? 452 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,367 Wiser, I'm hoping. 453 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,733 Not that it's any of your affair. 454 00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:30,067 Your missus must be fizzing. 455 00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,533 Wouldn't know. 456 00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:32,500 Haven't spoken to her. 457 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,900 I had to slap my lad down once. 458 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,833 Mouthy little cunt. 459 00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:40,467 Walks with a permanent limp now, mouth hanging down to one side. 460 00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:47,067 Let's leave the chit chat to Oprah, shall we? 461 00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:49,333 Always a pleasure. 462 00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,933 And it'll be 25% discount, Paddy. 463 00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:56,033 [music playing] 464 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,433 You know what your dad's like. 465 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,533 He'll be really gutted about this, feeling awful, 466 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:05,767 but he won't back down. 467 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:09,300 I find it hard to consider his feelings right now. 468 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,100 It's how he's wired. You know that. 469 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,100 That's not good enough, mom. 470 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,867 How he's wired doesn't wash. 471 00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,200 The whole family's tiptoed around his need 472 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,767 to be a big man for years. 473 00:20:17,867 --> 00:20:21,767 So it shouldn't come as any surprise, then, should it? 474 00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:24,967 Maybe we have tiptoed around him, but everything he does, 475 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:27,200 he does for this family. 476 00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:29,167 Including wasting our Shane's face? 477 00:20:29,267 --> 00:20:34,333 Could only be an improvement, though, battering Shane's face? 478 00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,600 Oh, shut up. 479 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:37,967 It's what I do, isn't it? 480 00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,367 You know, lightening the load when 481 00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:40,567 everything gets dead seri-ass. 482 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,933 So what now? 483 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:48,433 You know he'll never apologize. 484 00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:51,333 I don't know, mom. He's crossed a line. 485 00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:59,433 Do you want a blow job? 486 00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:03,367 These stitches in me cock might burst, you know. 487 00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:08,300 Still feels like, um, there's a little like shard of glass 488 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,367 stuck in it or something. 489 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,667 [dog barking] 490 00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:22,433 What are you so happy about? 491 00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:24,100 You lied to me. 492 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,033 No, I didn't. 493 00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:26,000 Yeah, you did. 494 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,200 How? 495 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,767 You said you came back because you had 496 00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:30,733 an affection for Chatsworth. 497 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,300 You don't. 498 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,600 And how the fuck would you know? 499 00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:40,500 You came back because you love me. 500 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,667 Do I, fuck? 501 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,933 I think you've taken one too many bangs to the head. 502 00:21:45,033 --> 00:21:45,867 It's all right. 503 00:21:45,967 --> 00:21:47,500 You don't have to say it. 504 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,367 Knowing it's enough. 505 00:21:49,467 --> 00:21:52,200 I don't know what fucking drugs they gave you, 506 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,600 but you can send some my way anytime. 507 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,133 OK. 508 00:22:03,233 --> 00:22:06,167 How could anyone develop an affection for this place? 509 00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:10,033 Make Basra seem like Butlins in high season. 510 00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:11,500 It's not so bad. 511 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:18,867 I'll just go to the station. 512 00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:22,333 They don't have to know everything. 513 00:22:22,433 --> 00:22:26,400 The hotel room's on my credit card. 514 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:29,133 They'll put two and two together. 515 00:22:29,233 --> 00:22:32,000 What's the worst that can happen? 516 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,567 I won't have you testify. 517 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:35,267 They'll keep your name out of the papers, 518 00:22:35,367 --> 00:22:36,600 but everyone around here will know. 519 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,500 Your school? 520 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,433 I don't care who knows. 521 00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:39,367 I do. 522 00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:41,967 Shit sticks. 523 00:22:42,067 --> 00:22:43,133 You won't be Debbie anymore. 524 00:22:43,233 --> 00:22:46,233 You'll-- you'll be the girl that was 525 00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:48,767 seduced by that creepy copper. 526 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,333 You're not creepy. 527 00:22:50,433 --> 00:22:53,700 [music playing] 528 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,233 Look, if I can take whatever consequences come my way, 529 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,600 but I'm not having a shadow cast over your life. 530 00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:03,567 [music playing] 531 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,633 The ID won't stand up in court because 532 00:23:09,733 --> 00:23:11,000 of the ketamine in her system. 533 00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:12,433 Forensics on you will be minimal. 534 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:14,700 There'll be some from when he put 535 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,000 her in the recovery position. 536 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,367 A couple of hairs on her clothes, 537 00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:18,667 maybe, but not enough to convict. 538 00:23:18,767 --> 00:23:20,433 The girl put up quite a fight by all accounts. 539 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,833 What if there's more than just a couple of hairs? 540 00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:24,633 What if my DNA is all over her? 541 00:23:24,733 --> 00:23:25,567 How could it be? 542 00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:31,133 The 99 call was dialed from a pay as you go. 543 00:23:31,233 --> 00:23:33,567 No contract, so it's untraceable. 544 00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:34,767 Whose phone was it? 545 00:23:34,867 --> 00:23:35,933 No one's. 546 00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:36,833 CARRIE: You're not helping yourself! 547 00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:38,000 Will you stop lying to us! 548 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,433 - I'm not lying. - Take it easy, Carrie. 549 00:23:39,533 --> 00:23:40,167 Who were you with? 550 00:23:40,267 --> 00:23:41,167 None of your business. 551 00:23:41,267 --> 00:23:42,100 Who were you with! 552 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,167 My girlfriend! 553 00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:44,267 Then get her to vouch for you! 554 00:23:44,367 --> 00:23:45,467 - I can't. - You can! 555 00:23:45,567 --> 00:23:46,500 - No! - Tom! 556 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,433 I just-- 557 00:23:47,533 --> 00:23:48,167 I can't! 558 00:23:48,267 --> 00:23:49,867 Stop lying to us! 559 00:23:49,967 --> 00:23:52,333 It's Debbie Gallagher! 560 00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:53,567 All right? 561 00:23:53,667 --> 00:23:55,100 It's Debbie Gallagher. 562 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,667 But she's-- 563 00:23:56,767 --> 00:23:57,633 Underage, yeah. 564 00:23:57,733 --> 00:23:59,100 That's why I can't tell. 565 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,633 My choices are between going to jail and going to jail. 566 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:06,600 [music playing] 567 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,333 Don't know why I bother. 568 00:24:30,433 --> 00:24:33,367 Half these boxes are fucking empty. 569 00:24:33,467 --> 00:24:36,000 They've all gone digital anyway. 570 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,400 MPSs, iPods, whatnot. 571 00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:42,667 Couldn't sleep? 572 00:24:42,767 --> 00:24:46,200 It's a very quiet house. 573 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:47,667 - They didn't come home. - No. 574 00:24:47,767 --> 00:24:48,567 I asked them, but-- 575 00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:55,933 I didn't ask for it, Mimi. 576 00:24:56,033 --> 00:24:56,900 The boy gave me no option. 577 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:57,800 I know. 578 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:02,500 This family means everything to me. 579 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,500 I know that. 580 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,800 But you've got a reputation to protect. 581 00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:10,900 I understand. 582 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,800 But? 583 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:15,067 No buts. 584 00:25:15,167 --> 00:25:18,433 You're my fella, Patrick. 585 00:25:18,533 --> 00:25:22,400 [music playing] 586 00:25:27,467 --> 00:25:31,333 [gasping] 587 00:25:38,367 --> 00:25:39,200 Is 588 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:39,933 Jesus! 589 00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:40,967 Norma! 590 00:25:41,067 --> 00:25:42,133 I need a word. 591 00:25:42,233 --> 00:25:45,067 Do these belong to you? 592 00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:47,300 Not unless I've got multiple personalities, and one 593 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,000 of them's an American tourist. 594 00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:51,867 Seen anybody in The Jockey wearing them? 595 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,967 I think I'd remember. 596 00:25:54,067 --> 00:25:55,633 Can I go now? 597 00:25:55,733 --> 00:25:58,067 Do you want me to inspect the rest of your wardrobe? 598 00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:05,333 They're not from my wardrobe! 599 00:26:12,333 --> 00:26:14,000 So what do you think would happen? 600 00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:15,233 When? 601 00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:16,433 Yesterday when you give me dad's money. 602 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:20,600 Not that. 603 00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:22,233 You knew there'd be trouble. 604 00:26:22,333 --> 00:26:24,300 Yeah, but for me, not you. 605 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,833 I though he might come around and break my legs. 606 00:26:27,933 --> 00:26:30,467 Then at least we could get on with it. 607 00:26:30,567 --> 00:26:34,567 Get on with what? 608 00:26:34,667 --> 00:26:36,467 If you want me to say that soppy shite, 609 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:38,067 you'll have a long way wait, Shane Maguire. 610 00:26:38,167 --> 00:26:39,000 I don't. 611 00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:40,533 I'm sorry. 612 00:26:40,633 --> 00:26:45,000 But I will take that blow job now, if it's still on offer. 613 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:46,400 You first. 614 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:47,333 Uh-uh. 615 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:48,767 Uh-uh-uh. 616 00:26:48,867 --> 00:26:51,000 Suffer for your art. 617 00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:52,967 [laughs] 618 00:26:53,067 --> 00:26:57,100 [music playing] 619 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,467 Get in. 620 00:27:18,167 --> 00:27:18,967 All right, Carl? 621 00:27:19,067 --> 00:27:20,633 Yeah, sweet. 622 00:27:20,733 --> 00:27:22,133 [laughing] 623 00:27:24,933 --> 00:27:27,833 What's the fucking matter with you? 624 00:27:27,933 --> 00:27:30,800 Wake up! 625 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:31,900 This ever happen to you? 626 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:32,800 No, mate. 627 00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:34,333 Quite the opposite. 628 00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:37,900 I get a fucking flag pole at the most inappropriate moments. 629 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,733 You're a fit, young lad, though, so chances 630 00:27:39,833 --> 00:27:41,400 are it's not physical. 631 00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:42,367 Meaning what? 632 00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:45,367 Well, meaning most impotency has an 633 00:27:45,467 --> 00:27:47,200 underlying psychological cause. 634 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:49,333 I'm too young to have psychological problems. 635 00:27:49,433 --> 00:27:51,667 Well, your knob don't think so. 636 00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:52,833 What's changed? 637 00:27:52,933 --> 00:27:54,000 Nothing. 638 00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:56,000 Something to put you off schoolies. 639 00:27:56,100 --> 00:28:00,433 [music playing] 640 00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:04,133 How'd you know all this stuff? 641 00:28:04,233 --> 00:28:07,500 I read a lot about cocks. 642 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,500 And fannies. 643 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,533 Cocks and fannies. - I'm heading out. 644 00:28:10,633 --> 00:28:12,000 I need to lock up. 645 00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:13,167 Just give us a minute, mate. 646 00:28:13,267 --> 00:28:15,667 A bit light headed, you know. 647 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:23,167 What are you thinking? 648 00:28:23,267 --> 00:28:24,467 You're a police officer. 649 00:28:24,567 --> 00:28:27,400 And I've known you since you were a little kid. 650 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:28,867 I like the pair of you, but-- 651 00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,733 I suppose it was her put them scratches on your neck. 652 00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,700 A bit of a tiger, are we? - Stop. 653 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:33,733 She'll have to come forward. 654 00:28:33,833 --> 00:28:35,067 No, she won't. 655 00:28:35,167 --> 00:28:36,567 She might not have to. 656 00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:38,167 There's no witnesses, and forensics won't have enough-- 657 00:28:38,267 --> 00:28:39,667 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 658 00:28:43,033 --> 00:28:44,433 I pissed on her. 659 00:28:44,533 --> 00:28:45,500 What? 660 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,567 I pissed on her. 661 00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:47,600 It's how we found her. 662 00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:51,033 I went for a leak in the bushes, and-- 663 00:28:51,133 --> 00:28:53,100 My DNA is going to be all over her. 664 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,433 You pissed on a rape victim? 665 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:56,767 Well, it's not like I meant it. 666 00:28:56,867 --> 00:28:57,933 I don't think that's going to go down 667 00:28:58,033 --> 00:28:59,133 very well in court, do you? 668 00:28:59,233 --> 00:29:00,567 She has to make a statement. 669 00:29:00,667 --> 00:29:01,800 No! 670 00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:03,400 You're prepased to let him swing for this, are you, 671 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:04,233 Lolita? 672 00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:05,533 No, of course not. 673 00:29:05,633 --> 00:29:07,200 I wanted to go straight to the CID. 674 00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:09,100 Snare yourself a copper between double history and PE, 675 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,400 did you? - Carrie. 676 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,367 Your little mini-micro and your big doe eyes. 677 00:29:12,467 --> 00:29:13,500 That's enough! 678 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,300 Who the hell are you to talk to her like that? 679 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,267 Neither of you got secrets? 680 00:29:17,367 --> 00:29:19,500 What's the name on your birth certificate, Carrie? 681 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,733 How's you're driving now you're actually wearing your contacts? 682 00:29:24,433 --> 00:29:26,400 See, this is what I'm talking about. 683 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:28,600 People will judge you, right or wrong. 684 00:29:38,067 --> 00:29:40,400 It's just so complicated. 685 00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:43,000 Well, you're an adult now, Debs, 686 00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:45,700 and this is what it's like. 687 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,167 Have you told dad yet? 688 00:29:47,267 --> 00:29:50,000 No, and I'm not sure you should, either. 689 00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,567 I can't have everyone else knowing and him not. 690 00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:54,467 It'll be different for him, Debbie love, 691 00:29:54,567 --> 00:29:58,433 because you're his little princess. 692 00:29:58,533 --> 00:30:02,667 And, well, he might not take it so well. 693 00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:06,067 [screaming] 694 00:30:07,533 --> 00:30:10,767 To tell you the truth, I've been looking forward to this. 695 00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:12,833 You know, to this stage where we're 696 00:30:12,933 --> 00:30:18,367 not just mother and daughter, but you know, we're like mates. 697 00:30:18,467 --> 00:30:21,600 And, well, we can talk about stuff. 698 00:30:21,700 --> 00:30:22,533 I suppose. 699 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:29,000 So, does it bother you, you know, your boyfriend 700 00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:32,367 liking young girls? 701 00:30:32,467 --> 00:30:33,733 What? 702 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,233 No. 703 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:38,733 Well, I mean, that girl you found, she was only just 16. 704 00:30:38,833 --> 00:30:39,967 He never touched her. 705 00:30:40,067 --> 00:30:42,400 Well, that's not what the police think. 706 00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:45,433 I was with him! 707 00:30:45,533 --> 00:30:49,333 I'm only concerned because I love you! 708 00:30:49,433 --> 00:30:50,300 [door slams] 709 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:52,633 Stroppy little cow. 710 00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:01,067 You know when you go into a supermarket on Christmas Eve 711 00:31:01,167 --> 00:31:03,600 late, and there's only one scrawny turkey left 712 00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:05,933 on the shelf that nobody wants? 713 00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,700 Yeah. 714 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,500 That's us, isn't it? 715 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,500 [laughs] 716 00:31:12,467 --> 00:31:14,467 How did it get to fucking this? 717 00:31:14,567 --> 00:31:15,400 I don't understand. 718 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:16,767 I'm a big ride. 719 00:31:16,867 --> 00:31:20,733 [laughs] 720 00:31:24,233 --> 00:31:25,400 I'm lost, Ian. 721 00:31:29,533 --> 00:31:30,800 I know. 722 00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:32,333 Me and all. 723 00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:34,633 What fucking use am I to Katie like this? 724 00:31:34,733 --> 00:31:35,533 That's the problem. 725 00:31:35,633 --> 00:31:36,767 It's not just about Katie. 726 00:31:40,733 --> 00:31:42,000 It's about you as well. 727 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,000 You need to get on with your own life. 728 00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,900 And not take my frustrations out on 15-year-olds 729 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,667 who think they're in love. 730 00:31:49,767 --> 00:31:50,567 Maybe she is. 731 00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:57,833 I'm a shit mate. 732 00:31:57,933 --> 00:31:59,933 No, you're not. 733 00:32:00,033 --> 00:32:02,900 You're brilliant. 734 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,033 [music playing] 735 00:32:11,933 --> 00:32:13,800 I don't believe you. 736 00:32:13,900 --> 00:32:15,433 I've got collections to make. 737 00:32:15,533 --> 00:32:17,600 The fact I fell out with him don't mean business stops. 738 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:20,000 How are you going to make collections like that? 739 00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:22,833 I'm a Maguire. 740 00:32:22,933 --> 00:32:26,800 [music playing] 741 00:32:36,067 --> 00:32:36,967 Wait, wait! 742 00:32:37,067 --> 00:32:38,633 My hairs caught in your watch. 743 00:32:38,733 --> 00:32:40,033 Sorry. 744 00:32:40,133 --> 00:32:42,400 It's my turn. 745 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:43,300 Oh! 746 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,100 [laughter] 747 00:32:45,933 --> 00:32:46,900 This is hopeless. 748 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:47,800 You're 749 00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:48,733 Not giving up, are you? 750 00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:50,700 You've got a stiffy. 751 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,300 I'm 19 years old. 752 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:56,133 I get a hard on in a mild breeze. 753 00:32:56,233 --> 00:32:57,133 Thanks a bunch. 754 00:32:57,233 --> 00:32:59,267 It was a stupid idea, anyway. 755 00:32:59,367 --> 00:33:00,367 I'm gay. 756 00:33:00,467 --> 00:33:01,767 Fucking a girl who is one of my best mates 757 00:33:01,867 --> 00:33:03,767 is not going to solve anything. 758 00:33:03,867 --> 00:33:05,067 Wouldn't do any harm. 759 00:33:05,167 --> 00:33:06,533 Do you really want a poof for a boyfriend? 760 00:33:06,633 --> 00:33:08,633 Anything that doesn't require batteries to operate 761 00:33:08,733 --> 00:33:11,000 would be an improvement. 762 00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:14,333 Get back on your horse, you miserable cow. 763 00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:16,100 A boyfriend with certain horse-like 764 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:17,567 qualities wouldn't go amiss. 765 00:33:20,767 --> 00:33:22,133 I'll do you a deal. 766 00:33:22,233 --> 00:33:25,333 If neither of us are settled down by the time we're 40, 767 00:33:25,433 --> 00:33:27,333 I'll marry you. 768 00:33:27,433 --> 00:33:28,567 35. 769 00:33:28,667 --> 00:33:29,533 Done. 770 00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:33,500 [music playing] 771 00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:44,233 So what's the plan? 772 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:46,533 You gonna batter me or fuck me? 773 00:33:50,933 --> 00:33:52,733 I'm not into that Greek tragedy shite. 774 00:34:01,067 --> 00:34:01,900 We had a deal. 775 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,967 No, you had to deal. 776 00:34:04,067 --> 00:34:07,133 My thoughts on the matter weren't considered. 777 00:34:07,233 --> 00:34:09,800 You've caused a rift in my family. 778 00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:12,867 Weren't my fists beating down on me on son yesterday. 779 00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:15,067 You put him up to it. Gave him the money. 780 00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:16,767 I didn't want kneecapped as soon 781 00:34:16,867 --> 00:34:18,133 as you found out I was back. 782 00:34:18,233 --> 00:34:19,667 You could have given it to me direct. 783 00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:20,567 Try again. 784 00:34:24,133 --> 00:34:25,267 He loves me. 785 00:34:25,367 --> 00:34:27,600 And you? 786 00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:30,167 I'm not into all that silent treatment, either. 787 00:34:30,267 --> 00:34:33,233 Do you love my son? 788 00:34:33,333 --> 00:34:35,367 Yes. 789 00:34:35,467 --> 00:34:37,933 So you deliberately provoked this. 790 00:34:38,033 --> 00:34:39,467 I didn't provoke it. 791 00:34:39,567 --> 00:34:41,200 You did. 792 00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:44,933 When you threw a pile of cash at me and told me to leave. 793 00:34:45,033 --> 00:34:46,500 So it'll would be my fault, then? 794 00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:56,300 I've got a wife who's back at home who's 795 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,633 ready to stand by me despite the fact that her heart's breaking. 796 00:35:00,733 --> 00:35:01,533 Those kids are our life. 797 00:35:05,733 --> 00:35:10,500 I can't be seen to back down from a confrontation like that. 798 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,633 Do you know what that would mean to business? 799 00:35:13,733 --> 00:35:16,000 And what's Shane? 800 00:35:16,100 --> 00:35:17,100 Collateral damage? 801 00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:26,033 You fuck with him, I'll kill you. 802 00:35:44,567 --> 00:35:45,567 You're barred, Paddy. 803 00:35:45,667 --> 00:35:47,533 Don't be silly. 804 00:35:47,633 --> 00:35:48,500 Dining out on it, are you? 805 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,433 No. 806 00:35:49,533 --> 00:35:50,533 That's enough, dad. 807 00:35:50,633 --> 00:35:52,500 What is this, have a go at your dad week? 808 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,400 People are here for a peaceful drink, that's all. 809 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:57,933 I'm not here to cause trouble. 810 00:35:58,033 --> 00:35:59,133 I'm here to apologize. 811 00:35:59,233 --> 00:36:00,900 Yeah, well, Kelly's not here, is she? 812 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,733 I've already paid her a visit. 813 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:07,100 She says it's you I should be apologizing to. 814 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,033 I'm asking your forgiveness. 815 00:36:12,867 --> 00:36:15,100 Please, son? 816 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,000 I lost sight. 817 00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:20,933 It's breaking your mother's heart. 818 00:36:21,033 --> 00:36:22,467 And mine. 819 00:36:22,567 --> 00:36:26,367 [music playing] 820 00:36:30,233 --> 00:36:32,133 Get up, dad, for fuck's sake. 821 00:36:36,167 --> 00:36:37,900 I've inviting you and Kelly-- 822 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,100 in, fact all of you-- 823 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,100 four for a meal tomorrow night. 824 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,233 Family occasion. 825 00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:44,067 - I've got plans. - Three-line whip. 826 00:36:44,167 --> 00:36:45,067 Look it up. 827 00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:46,133 You'll be there. 828 00:36:50,067 --> 00:36:51,967 All right. 829 00:36:52,067 --> 00:36:53,933 PADDY: Well, off you pop and ask her. 830 00:36:54,033 --> 00:36:55,367 See if she can get the night off work. 831 00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:00,500 That was big of you, Paddy. 832 00:37:08,633 --> 00:37:10,467 Everybody on the floor. 833 00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:14,467 [music playing] 834 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,667 I expect you to acknowledge me in the street. 835 00:37:23,767 --> 00:37:26,300 If you pass me, you'll say good morning, good afternoon, 836 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,867 or good evening, Mr. Maguire. 837 00:37:27,967 --> 00:37:29,667 Or "Paddy," if we're better acquainted. 838 00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:30,633 Understood? 839 00:37:30,733 --> 00:37:32,333 EVERYONE: Yes, Mr. Maguire. 840 00:37:32,433 --> 00:37:35,100 And if you're a purchaser of controlled substances, 841 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,100 you will go right on purchasing as before, 842 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,600 and I will continue to provide the same high quality 843 00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:42,467 of customer service that I always have. 844 00:37:42,567 --> 00:37:43,767 Do I make myself clear? 845 00:37:43,867 --> 00:37:44,933 EVERYONE: Yes, Mr. Maguire. 846 00:37:45,033 --> 00:37:47,500 (WHISPERING) It's not loaded. 847 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,733 Get up, you tit. 848 00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,967 Right. 849 00:37:52,067 --> 00:37:53,667 Family meal, tomorrow night. 850 00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:54,567 I'm cooking. 851 00:37:58,967 --> 00:37:59,833 [bang] 852 00:37:59,933 --> 00:38:02,333 [crash] 853 00:38:08,100 --> 00:38:09,800 Oops. 854 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:13,700 [music playing] 855 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:21,567 Hiya. 856 00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:24,200 Given them a wash, have you? 857 00:38:24,300 --> 00:38:25,167 You? 858 00:38:25,267 --> 00:38:28,333 Who'd you think it was, you daftie? 859 00:38:28,433 --> 00:38:29,967 But-- I mean-- 860 00:38:30,067 --> 00:38:32,433 how did-- you and me, we didn't-- 861 00:38:32,533 --> 00:38:33,433 Don't be soft. 862 00:38:33,533 --> 00:38:34,633 Don't you remember? 863 00:38:34,733 --> 00:38:36,933 You came round to mine, demanding one of me girls 864 00:38:37,033 --> 00:38:38,033 service you. 865 00:38:38,133 --> 00:38:39,600 Said you were a woman with needs. 866 00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:42,767 But none of my girls are that way inclined, love. 867 00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:44,167 How-- how did I-- 868 00:38:44,267 --> 00:38:46,233 Well, you wouldn't take no for an answer, would you? 869 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:47,767 stripped right off. 870 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:50,533 You said, "I'm a woman, hear me roar!" 871 00:38:50,633 --> 00:38:53,100 Whoo-hoo! 872 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,633 When you passed out, I couldn't 873 00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,900 get your jean's back on you. 874 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,133 These were the next best thing. 875 00:38:58,233 --> 00:39:01,000 So I dress you, threw a bucket of water at you, 876 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:02,900 shoved you through the door. 877 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,700 I-- I don't know what to say, Lillian. 878 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,700 I'm so sorry. 879 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,200 No, it were a laugh. 880 00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:09,733 One of the girls got it on camera. 881 00:39:09,833 --> 00:39:11,233 [shouting] 882 00:39:11,333 --> 00:39:13,233 LILLIAN (VOICEOVER): Snatch Book, one of them websites. 883 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,067 [knock on door] 884 00:39:21,967 --> 00:39:23,433 Can I talk to you? 885 00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:31,433 You need to stop seeing this bloke. 886 00:39:31,533 --> 00:39:32,367 Why? 887 00:39:32,467 --> 00:39:33,367 It's not right. 888 00:39:33,467 --> 00:39:35,933 It's a bit hypocritical coming from you. 889 00:39:36,033 --> 00:39:37,700 I don't mean morally. 890 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:41,700 I mean Urusula Green wanted to give me a blow job, 891 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:42,600 and I couldn't 892 00:39:42,700 --> 00:39:43,533 Why not? 893 00:39:43,633 --> 00:39:45,167 I just couldn't. 894 00:39:45,267 --> 00:39:46,967 I were trying to work out how come, 895 00:39:47,067 --> 00:39:50,500 and Urusla's in your year at school. 896 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,833 So? 897 00:39:51,933 --> 00:39:53,800 So if you're shagging, it'll make you the same as them. 898 00:39:53,900 --> 00:39:57,933 And I can't shag them because they'll be the same as you. 899 00:39:58,033 --> 00:39:59,200 You're not making any sense. 900 00:39:59,300 --> 00:40:00,900 You're not like them. 901 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,667 You shouldn't be like that. 902 00:40:02,767 --> 00:40:05,033 All the lads talk about them, compare notes. 903 00:40:05,133 --> 00:40:07,733 Who's got tongue rings and stuff. 904 00:40:07,833 --> 00:40:08,700 You're better than that. 905 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,667 I'm not better than anyone. 906 00:40:10,767 --> 00:40:12,033 You are. 907 00:40:12,133 --> 00:40:13,100 You're better then all of us. 908 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,167 Me, Lip, Ian. 909 00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:16,800 You're the good one, Debbie. 910 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:19,200 You can do anything you want, be anything you want. 911 00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:20,767 I'm still going to do all that stuff. 912 00:40:20,867 --> 00:40:21,933 It doesn't stop me. 913 00:40:22,033 --> 00:40:23,133 What of you get pregnant or something? 914 00:40:23,233 --> 00:40:24,367 I'm not going to get pregnant. 915 00:40:24,467 --> 00:40:26,967 I'm not stupid. 916 00:40:27,067 --> 00:40:28,133 I'm happy, Carl. 917 00:40:28,233 --> 00:40:31,367 Can't you just be happy for me? 918 00:40:31,467 --> 00:40:36,733 You should, because happiness is at a premium these days. 919 00:40:36,833 --> 00:40:37,833 You know? 920 00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:39,633 FRANK: What, about you boyfriend? 921 00:40:39,733 --> 00:40:40,800 Course I know. 922 00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:42,033 I've got ears, haven't I? 923 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,500 Carl, will you give us a minute? 924 00:40:50,733 --> 00:40:53,067 Urusla, it's Carl Gallagher. 925 00:40:53,167 --> 00:40:54,167 Why didn't you say anything? 926 00:40:54,267 --> 00:40:56,500 I was waiting for you to tell me. 927 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:00,233 I was scared. 928 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:01,800 I didn't know how you'd react. 929 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:02,700 What? 930 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,633 You think I'd ground you? 931 00:41:04,733 --> 00:41:08,400 Scrape the rust off the chastity belt and throw away the key? 932 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,333 No. 933 00:41:22,767 --> 00:41:26,433 I am your father, Debbie. 934 00:41:26,533 --> 00:41:29,633 There's nothing you can't tell me. 935 00:41:29,733 --> 00:41:33,467 Nothing you could do will ever stop me loving you. 936 00:41:33,567 --> 00:41:37,433 [music playing] 937 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,400 I'd give you some, kid, but you know, you're underage. 938 00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:10,700 What are you doing? 939 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:11,700 Leaving. 940 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,400 I'm the common denominator here. 941 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,100 If I go, everyone's problems will be solved. 942 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,633 - You can't. - No? 943 00:42:18,733 --> 00:42:20,967 I can't put Debbie through this. 944 00:42:21,067 --> 00:42:22,100 I won't. 945 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,700 I care too much about her. 946 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,433 Tom. 947 00:42:25,533 --> 00:42:26,967 I've still got friends in Ireland. 948 00:42:27,067 --> 00:42:28,033 I can disappear there. 949 00:42:28,133 --> 00:42:30,233 The DNA results came back. 950 00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:31,933 The skin samples from under her fingernails, 951 00:42:32,033 --> 00:42:33,233 they've got a match. 952 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,867 It's some bloke on the other side of the city, 953 00:42:34,967 --> 00:42:36,767 a three-time sex offender. 954 00:42:36,867 --> 00:42:39,700 They made an arrest this afternoon. 955 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:40,600 Fuck off! 956 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:45,733 How's the girl? 957 00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:47,467 Still under sedation. 958 00:42:47,567 --> 00:42:48,533 She's traumatized, Tom. 959 00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:49,933 You can't blame her. 960 00:42:50,033 --> 00:42:51,733 I don't. 961 00:42:51,833 --> 00:42:53,133 Not for a minute. 962 00:42:53,233 --> 00:42:57,700 [music playing] 963 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,267 [sobs] 964 00:43:05,367 --> 00:43:09,233 [chatter] 965 00:43:10,767 --> 00:43:11,600 Thank you. 966 00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:12,333 You're welcome. 967 00:43:12,433 --> 00:43:13,700 (INDIAN ACCENT) All right! 968 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,333 Lamb tikka masala. 969 00:43:15,433 --> 00:43:19,567 From an old recipe of my dear departed mother. 970 00:43:19,667 --> 00:43:20,500 Guests first. 971 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:27,267 Kelly's a vegetarian, dad. 972 00:43:27,367 --> 00:43:28,733 Oh. 973 00:43:28,833 --> 00:43:32,067 So your body's a temple, is it? 974 00:43:32,167 --> 00:43:34,900 In terms of animal products, yeah. 975 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,133 In terms of spunk, I'm tested regular, so 976 00:43:38,233 --> 00:43:40,900 no worries on that front. 977 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,400 Cheese on toast do you, love? 978 00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:43,533 That's be great. 979 00:43:46,267 --> 00:43:47,333 Could I have that and all? 980 00:43:50,233 --> 00:43:54,200 [music playing] 981 00:44:06,567 --> 00:44:09,833 Right. So, how did you two meet? 982 00:44:09,933 --> 00:44:11,433 I want to hear all about it. 983 00:44:11,533 --> 00:44:14,333 Tom took her for a cycling proficiency test at school. 984 00:44:14,433 --> 00:44:17,267 No, he didn't! 985 00:44:17,367 --> 00:44:20,900 As a matter of fact, I asked him out. 986 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,300 Right. 987 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:23,967 And have you always been interested in girls 988 00:44:24,067 --> 00:44:26,467 much younger than yourself? 989 00:44:26,567 --> 00:44:27,400 No. 990 00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:28,533 No, no. 991 00:44:28,633 --> 00:44:31,067 This is a one-off circumstance. - Ignore her. 992 00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,300 She's just stirring it. 993 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:33,367 I am not! 994 00:44:33,467 --> 00:44:34,467 Yes, you are. 995 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:41,300 So, what's it like giving birth? 996 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:46,267 Must be one of the most wondrous things a person can experience. 997 00:44:46,367 --> 00:44:48,767 Hmm. 998 00:44:48,867 --> 00:44:53,033 Well, if you're a fella, imagine shitting a football 999 00:44:53,133 --> 00:44:55,467 or trying to pull your lip over the top of your head, 1000 00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:59,700 because that's about the closest I can describe it. 1001 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,667 What's the occasion again? 1002 00:45:01,767 --> 00:45:03,800 Meeting Debbie's fella. 1003 00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:05,633 Oh, yeah. 1004 00:45:05,733 --> 00:45:06,633 So, come on. 1005 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,833 When this country-- 1006 00:45:12,933 --> 00:45:13,833 Fuck's sake. 1007 00:45:13,933 --> 00:45:15,033 --meant something-- 1008 00:45:15,133 --> 00:45:16,800 - Shall we clear away now? - Yeah. 1009 00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:18,233 Aye. 1010 00:45:18,333 --> 00:45:22,833 FRANK: [inaudible] and [inaudible] Major and Thatcher. 1011 00:45:22,933 --> 00:45:23,767 Mon? 1012 00:45:23,867 --> 00:45:24,867 Mon, is there no pud? 1013 00:45:24,967 --> 00:45:26,333 We're not having pudding tonight. 1014 00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:27,867 Debbie's arranged a screening. 1015 00:45:27,967 --> 00:45:29,500 Oh, aye? 1016 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,233 What of? 1017 00:45:30,333 --> 00:45:31,800 It's on the computer. 1018 00:45:31,900 --> 00:45:33,133 It's only short. 1019 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:34,267 Snatch Book clips. 1020 00:45:34,367 --> 00:45:35,767 Only last a couple of minutes. 1021 00:45:35,867 --> 00:45:39,733 [music playing] 1022 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:43,700 Fucking no! 1023 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,700 Please wait! 1024 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,100 No, please! 1025 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,367 Was it Natalie Wood was in "The Searchers?" 1026 00:45:49,467 --> 00:45:52,000 Oh, yeah, and she was drop dead gorgeous in that and all. 1027 00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:53,033 [inaudible]. 1028 00:45:53,133 --> 00:45:55,267 I always wanted to be like that. 1029 00:45:59,867 --> 00:46:01,000 Tracking down Indians, I mean. 1030 00:46:04,233 --> 00:46:05,567 "Little Big Man." 1031 00:46:05,667 --> 00:46:06,500 That was brilliant. 1032 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:07,400 Dustin Hoffman. 1033 00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:08,467 Oh, God! 1034 00:46:08,567 --> 00:46:11,600 (SINGING) Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. 1035 00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:13,033 Keep moving, moving, moving-- 1036 00:46:13,133 --> 00:46:15,233 FRANK (VOICEOVER): I believe in love, Alfie. 1037 00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:17,600 Without true love, we just exist. 1038 00:46:17,700 --> 00:46:20,700 (SINGING) Don't try to understand 'em. 1039 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,033 Just rope and trow and brand 'em. 1040 00:46:23,133 --> 00:46:27,900 Soon we'll be living high and wide. 1041 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,567 my heart's calculating-- 1042 00:46:29,667 --> 00:46:32,133 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Cilla Black is underestimated 1043 00:46:32,233 --> 00:46:33,667 as a philosopher. 1044 00:46:33,767 --> 00:46:36,000 And people talk about Bob Dylan and that, 1045 00:46:36,100 --> 00:46:38,767 but he just fucking moans. 1046 00:46:38,867 --> 00:46:41,433 Cilla had something to say. 1047 00:46:41,533 --> 00:46:44,433 Always had legs like toothpicks, though. 1048 00:46:44,533 --> 00:46:48,867 Well, then again, I suppose most Scousers are undernourished. 1049 00:46:48,967 --> 00:46:49,800 Yee-haa! 1050 00:46:52,867 --> 00:46:53,767 Rawhide! 1051 00:46:53,867 --> 00:46:57,733 [music playing] 1052 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,900 Come on, open the door! 1053 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:38,867 Let us in! 1054 00:47:38,967 --> 00:47:41,300 [cheering] 1055 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,100 If that's a bikini line, she must wear 1056 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,267 GBermuda shorts to the beach. 1057 00:47:44,367 --> 00:47:45,700 [laughter] 1058 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,867 But nice tits, though. 1059 00:47:46,967 --> 00:47:49,367 [laughter] 1060 00:47:52,467 --> 00:47:56,067 [music playing]