1 00:00:00,533 --> 00:00:04,433 [filmrise music] 2 00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:06,200 [theme music] 3 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,367 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 4 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,533 Oye! 5 00:00:10,633 --> 00:00:12,633 Come watch pickeys making a mess of the lives 6 00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:17,967 they were given by Him upstairs, and kids they're convinced 7 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,967 aren't actually theirs. - Wicked! 8 00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:21,433 Piss off! 9 00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:25,267 What sounds on Earth could ever replace kids needing 10 00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:28,300 money or wives in your face? 11 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,767 Because this, people reckon -me included- 12 00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:33,833 is why pubs and drugs were kindly 13 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:37,367 invented to calm us all down, and stop us going mental. 14 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:43,233 These are Chatworth Estate's basic essentials. 15 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:49,200 We are worth every penny for griding your axes. 16 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,967 Well you shit on our head, but you pay the taxes. 17 00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:54,567 [cheering] 18 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:58,200 Imagine Britian without Chatsworth bucaneers 19 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,933 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 20 00:01:02,033 --> 00:01:04,567 Make poverty history. 21 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,767 Cheaper drugs now! 22 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,133 Made poverty history. 23 00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,267 Cheaper drugs now. 24 00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:12,667 [laughing] 25 00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:16,000 [screaming] 26 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:20,900 [theme music] 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,433 Thank you. 28 00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:24,833 It's coming! 29 00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:26,367 It's coming! 30 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,467 Baby! 31 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:28,733 You want to know what you're doing, yeah? 32 00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:34,500 Carl, where you going? 33 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,467 Pub, to fetch me dad. 34 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:36,533 This morning he's in. 35 00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:38,067 Yeah, I'm calling about Monica Gallagher. 36 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:39,100 IAN (VOICEOVER): Some people can do commitment. 37 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,400 Ian! Help! 38 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,367 IAN (VOICEOVER): Scared of making bad calls, 39 00:01:42,467 --> 00:01:46,500 fucking things up, feeling useless. 40 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,167 So they never make decisions, and they never 41 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,667 find out what might have been. 42 00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,467 Shite arse, mom's in labor. 43 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:53,433 Move! 44 00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:54,367 Yeah. 45 00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:55,867 All right. 46 00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:57,233 IAN: Final prediction? 47 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,967 I honestly don't mind as long as she's healthy. 48 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,933 Oh. 49 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:03,600 Ian's filming, bags packed, but where's Lanky? 50 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,833 Uh, well just thrilled to be here, really support the wife. 51 00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,533 The miracle of birth. 52 00:02:11,633 --> 00:02:14,233 A gamut of emotions, really. - Come on. 53 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,400 Aw. 54 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,600 These for Nana? 55 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:25,533 Looking forward to meeting your auntie? 56 00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:26,833 Where's the lift? 57 00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,067 Who's doing the transport? 58 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,800 Carl is. 59 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,200 This is rubbish! 60 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,667 Can't have mum waiting around. 61 00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:34,633 Carl! 62 00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:36,000 He said he were getting up. 63 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,033 What? 64 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:38,667 - I'll call Speedy Cabs. - No. 65 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:39,767 Forget it. 66 00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:41,067 Everyone stop what they're doing. 67 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:42,467 Carl let us down. 68 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:43,367 Drill is over. 69 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,467 A drill? 70 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:48,567 Debbie! 71 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:49,967 You made me call the clinic for nothing. 72 00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,433 Tell us you're joking. 73 00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:52,200 Just as well. 74 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:53,533 It was a dry run. 75 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,667 Should we do a debrief? 76 00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:56,833 You were in on this, eh? 77 00:02:56,933 --> 00:02:58,400 Like I had a choice. 78 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:05,933 False alarm. 79 00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:06,867 Oh yeah. 80 00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:07,967 Well, OK. 81 00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:09,033 As I'm up. 82 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,000 We can't afford to carry passengers. 83 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:21,933 For fucks sake. 84 00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,333 Mum wasn't in labor. 85 00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,233 Well, you weren't to know that. 86 00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,833 Debbie, don't you think it's a bit soon to be running drills? 87 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:31,400 No, Mom always drops early. 88 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,800 Ian started the trend of premature birth 89 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:36,300 the ensuing children came even earlier. 90 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:41,033 So by my calculations, Mrs. Gallagher could give -- 91 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,967 Tomorrow? 92 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,833 All this excitement eh, baby? 93 00:03:45,933 --> 00:03:49,333 Well if you're coming any day now, 94 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:54,100 better go and lie down upstairs, conserve our energy. 95 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,333 Nice one, Debbie. 96 00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:57,967 Now she's having kittens, as well? 97 00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,267 Shut up. 98 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,067 Stan, it's cash and carry day. 99 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:03,267 I've got to leave in five minutes. 100 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,200 Always rushing me, aren't you? 101 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,500 Except when it's treats time. 102 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:11,733 Just because I let you stay here three times a week, 103 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,500 don't mean you can move in. 104 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,433 Well? 105 00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,933 Next thing, you'll be proposing. 106 00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:21,200 You can get that right out your head. 107 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,733 It's just a spare pair of undies. 108 00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,867 Just don't, all right. 109 00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:31,967 I'm too angry. 110 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,767 Yeah, mum. 111 00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:35,100 Chesney, what are you doing here? 112 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,900 It's five to nine. 113 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,067 About school-- 114 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:39,667 I don't want to talk about school. 115 00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:42,367 Just go to it. 116 00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:45,400 - It's just Mrs. Kay in RE. - I know. 117 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:48,533 You're Muslim, so why learn about other religions? 118 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:52,700 Because RE is the difference between 10 GCSEs and nine, 119 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,133 and you promised me double figures. 120 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,900 So just do one. 121 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,500 Is nobody going to school today? 122 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,933 I'm on free periods 'til lunch, 123 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,333 and then I'm on at the shop. 124 00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:02,467 I told you that yesterday. 125 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,800 I swapped with Norma. 126 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,400 Don't think you're getting out of working tomorrow night. 127 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,767 I know your game. 128 00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:11,567 I know what you are thinking before you've even thought it. 129 00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,333 These don't mean anything. 130 00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:18,967 I put them in your drawer for convenience. 131 00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:19,900 That's all. 132 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,167 No hidden agenda. 133 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:24,100 You could have asked. 134 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,033 What's so bad about us shacking together, anyway? 135 00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:26,967 I'm here half the week. 136 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,400 Well, that's different. 137 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,533 How is it? 138 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,100 What's wrong with us moving things on a bit? 139 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,067 You know, thinking longterm? 140 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,167 It's done. 141 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,133 We're not having this conversation. 142 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,167 Well, do you think we should? 143 00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:36,933 - No, not now. - Well, why not? 144 00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:37,867 Because I'm late. 145 00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:38,967 Don't push me. 146 00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,033 Or what? 147 00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:43,667 All right. 148 00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,567 I see. 149 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:45,867 Yeah, great. 150 00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:47,567 Good to know, Yvonne. 151 00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,833 Good to know. 152 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,833 I'll speak to you later. 153 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:51,767 OK? 154 00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:52,667 Yeah. 155 00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:04,200 I can't believe you volunteered us for cycling 156 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,567 proficiency lessons. 157 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,067 Opportunities to nick some bike thieves, Tom. 158 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,100 Ultraviolet light, serial codes for bikes. 159 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,267 That's why they made me a sergeant. 160 00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:13,433 All right there, Stanly. 161 00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:15,533 Moved up to limbo land in two minutes. 162 00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:16,600 It's just pants. 163 00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:17,667 You left those? 164 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:18,867 That's your special boxers. 165 00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:20,100 They were the first pair I could find. 166 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,833 Shows you how trivial I think it all is. 167 00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:26,733 FEMALE OFFICER: Hey guys, are you still looking for a lodger? 168 00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:28,567 Us? No. 169 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:29,867 No, room at our inn. 170 00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:31,367 Don't know where you got that from. 171 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:34,167 Canteen Val said that Stan's moving in with his missus. 172 00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:36,000 God, I am not moving in with Yvonne. 173 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,100 How many times? 174 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,300 What? 175 00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:00,033 Carl, come on you can't stay in bed all day. 176 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:01,567 I've left school. I'll do what I want. 177 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,567 Not when there is going to be another mouth to feed. 178 00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:04,533 There, you know the score. 179 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,600 Everybody mucks in. 180 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,533 Carl! 181 00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:07,433 Piss off! 182 00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:16,700 I am trying to get more than just the odd shift at the shop. 183 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,100 Full-time kitchen assistant at City Centre Hotel. 184 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,633 That's all right. 185 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:23,333 I filled out 12 of them last week, and not one interview. 186 00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:24,733 It's a waste of time. - Come on. 187 00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,400 What if this is the one that gets you the interview? 188 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,433 It's fuck all use unless you hand it in, mate. 189 00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:29,500 Watch. 190 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,800 I'll get me hope up on the bus to town, 191 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:35,767 and I get knocked back again. 192 00:07:35,867 --> 00:07:36,867 Haven't even got me fucking fare. 193 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:37,967 How much short are you? 194 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,367 Just forget it. 195 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,033 I'll get it out the surfboard fund. 196 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,300 It's what it's for, these days. 197 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,133 Where's my bottle? 198 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,867 FRANK: One pound 32. 199 00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:52,500 Really thought a bit more. 200 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,033 Kids, no head for saving these days. 201 00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:56,833 So, how many cans? 202 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:58,567 One, but I'm not taking that. 203 00:07:58,667 --> 00:07:59,633 What? 204 00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:02,267 I know for a fact your mum loves change. 205 00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:03,667 Shit. 206 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:04,600 Such a waste, man. 207 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:07,933 Hands up! 208 00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:09,333 Get your hands up. 209 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:10,333 Oh shit. 210 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:11,900 Shitting hell. 211 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 Don't talk to me, and don't touch her. 212 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,767 Just do what I tell you. Freeze! 213 00:08:15,867 --> 00:08:16,700 I said, freeze! 214 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,900 I'm froze. 215 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:18,933 Sleeping lions. 216 00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:19,900 Anybody else? 217 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,933 No, just take whatever and go. 218 00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:22,867 YVONNE: Meena? 219 00:08:22,967 --> 00:08:24,500 Why is this door locked? 220 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,233 Who's that? 221 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,733 My mom. YVONNE: Come on! 222 00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:27,667 Open the door! 223 00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:28,633 What are you doing? 224 00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:29,733 No nonsense. 225 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,567 YVONNE: Unlock this door, now! 226 00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:37,333 Is this what happens the second I step foot out of the place? 227 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,067 Shut it. 228 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,667 Not another fucking word! 229 00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:41,800 Do exactly what I tell you and nobody gets hurt! 230 00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:51,167 What the hell are you doing? 231 00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:53,467 Just getting me hospital bag ready. 232 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,033 How long do you think you go in for? 233 00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,333 What's with the bikini? 234 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:03,133 Well, in case I want a water birth. 235 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,700 It's not what you think. 236 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,200 That's my room. 237 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,933 I'll decide when I'm going. 238 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:25,000 Not you and Canteen Val. 239 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,567 She's always asking after you. 240 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,600 I just said we hasn't seen much of you, that's all. 241 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,800 Well, she's not the only one. 242 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,133 This is doing my head in. 243 00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:45,633 The plan was to discreetly put the feelers out, test 244 00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:47,233 the market, not drop us in. 245 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,600 STANLEY: Yvonne? 246 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:54,167 Didn't know Val was going to put it around the entire nick. 247 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:57,033 She's the biggest gobshite of them all. 248 00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:59,300 I though she was a sweet old dinner lady. 249 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,700 Well, a good sergeant knows her stuff. 250 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,133 STANLEY: Open the door. 251 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,767 I tell you the names of everyone who works in our nick. 252 00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:08,200 Fine, but you know them? 253 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,167 A good sarge would. 254 00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:13,000 STANLEY: Yvonne, open the door. 255 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,233 Copper. 256 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:16,367 STANLEY: I know you're there. 257 00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,067 I can see you. 258 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,600 I'm not going anywhere until we sort 259 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,067 out this stupid pants nonsense. 260 00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,133 Stan I'll talk to you later, yeah? 261 00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:24,067 No, come here! 262 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,233 Talk to me, now. 263 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,733 She's not letting him in. 264 00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,033 He is not happy. 265 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,467 STANLEY: --stand there and tell me to get lost? 266 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:31,867 I'd get in the back if I were you. 267 00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:33,000 Keep your head down. 268 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,500 Grow up, Tom 269 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,067 You're going to let me in or I'll break this door down. 270 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,200 Oh, shit! 271 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:41,533 Yvonne? 272 00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:47,900 Is everything OK in there? 273 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,467 Yvonne, what's going on? 274 00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:52,433 [inaudible] 275 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:53,367 Stand back. 276 00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:54,433 I'll kick it in. 277 00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:55,200 Piss off. 278 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,767 I'm nearly there. 279 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:57,767 Get away from the door! 280 00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:58,767 Get away from the door! 281 00:10:58,867 --> 00:10:59,733 Get back! 282 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:00,733 Don't shoot. 283 00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:01,933 I'm unarmed. 284 00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:02,933 - What's that in your hand? - Nothing. 285 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:03,933 What you doing? 286 00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:05,033 Hands where I could see them! 287 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,267 Why don't you lower the weapon? 288 00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:07,400 Shut up. 289 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,133 I just want everyone to go out of here in one-- 290 00:11:08,233 --> 00:11:09,367 I said shut up! 291 00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,900 You're not calling the shots here, I am! 292 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,467 Now, get over there and get down! 293 00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:14,400 Get! 294 00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:21,633 Anyone tries anything and I'll start throwing bodies out! 295 00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:26,733 OK, now hop into the safe. 296 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:27,667 What? 297 00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:28,667 Come on. 298 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:29,633 You got a shop, you got a safe. 299 00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:30,667 Move, yeah? 300 00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:31,700 Yvonne, just do as he says, eh? 301 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,133 There's nothing in it. 302 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:34,867 I had to dip in to it yesterday because the mortgage was 303 00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:36,167 overdue. - Whatever Come on. 304 00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:39,167 Fine, but you're wasting your time. 305 00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:40,867 I'm not a fucking idiot, yeah? 306 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,267 Now, let's do this! 307 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,133 What now? 308 00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,400 It's on a timer. 309 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,600 Once I put the code in, it takes half an hour. 310 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,700 Love, there's nothing to be gained from stalling him. 311 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,133 I'm not stalling. 312 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:56,700 It's on a timer The back door's seeled to deter robbers. 313 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,600 I'm here. 314 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,667 This is happening. 315 00:11:58,767 --> 00:11:59,667 Open it. 316 00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,100 Just going to have to sit tight. 317 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,033 Cheney! 318 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:06,800 What are you doing? 319 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,400 Nothing. 320 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,667 Robin Hoodie. 321 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:10,567 How many people? 322 00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:11,700 Were you wanking? 323 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:12,633 Fuck off. 324 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,733 I was in a study forum. 325 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,133 Forum? 326 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:18,033 You should be at school doing RE, where you're safe. 327 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,800 Skiving while I'm at Costco. 328 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:20,733 Come on, not now. 329 00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:22,067 Don't you come on me. 330 00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:23,200 This is my family. 331 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,100 Keep your nose out. 332 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,200 OK, enough! 333 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,200 Find another way. Enter the code! 334 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,933 [beeping] 335 00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:38,700 MONICA: It's you saying that the baby is coming! 336 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,100 I'm sure this is all just normal. 337 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,000 Last minute nerves. 338 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,100 It's not that! 339 00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,533 There. 340 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:51,900 You're meant to breastfeed, these days. 341 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000 My milk hasn't come. 342 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:56,267 You don't need to breastfeed. 343 00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:57,467 I bet all the women that write this 344 00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,867 are them mutant lactators that have 345 00:12:59,967 --> 00:13:01,200 teenagers hanging off theirs. 346 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:02,167 Hmm. 347 00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:03,567 You gave us a bottle, didn't you? 348 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,867 Well, I had to because after I fed Fiona, 349 00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:09,200 these dropped a whole two inches. 350 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,567 They used to be right up there. 351 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,767 Did formula do us any harm? 352 00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:18,033 It's not the same as giving your baby the boob. 353 00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:19,467 I want it to be natural. 354 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:23,300 I want it to be perfect. 355 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,800 I can't bear to be a crap mum, again. 356 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,733 You won't be. 357 00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:31,967 I won't let you. 358 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,267 Stop worrying. 359 00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:35,200 Yeah. 360 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,633 Thanks, love. 361 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:45,800 Oy, just until you settle down. 362 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,067 Oh, hiya [inaudible] 363 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,000 [knocking] 364 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,000 No, it's locked. 365 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:57,933 I couldn't get in. 366 00:13:58,033 --> 00:13:58,900 Won't be a minute! 367 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 Police business! 368 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:08,700 Turned his radio off. 369 00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,500 Kerry, from community support. 370 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,967 I'm not playing your stupid game, Tom. 371 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,500 Save your breath. - Fine. 372 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,300 Only a good serg-- 373 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,133 Look, I've passed my exam. 374 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,500 I've got my stripes. 375 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,133 I've shown what it really takes to be a sergeant. 376 00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,967 Fine, if that's all you want to be, 377 00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:27,700 a sergeant, not a good sarge. 378 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,767 He's got 10 minutes and I'm dragging him out of there. 379 00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:33,400 ROBBER: Oh, what is this, man?! 380 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,033 There's a fucking cop car outside now! 381 00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,767 It's me colleagues, probably just waiting for me 382 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:38,933 to sort stuff with Yvonne. 383 00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:40,900 How am I supposed get out now, eh?! 384 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,400 Duh. 385 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,167 Something you should have thought about earlier, maybe. 386 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:45,267 Do you know him? 387 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,200 Shut up! 388 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,067 Fucking talk to him like you did. 389 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:51,300 I know his voice from somewhere Do I know you? 390 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,700 Chesney, sit down for us, pal. 391 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,800 What? 392 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,100 [inaudible] not going to shoot me. 393 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,500 He's bricking it. 394 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,367 Hands shaking. 395 00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:58,900 Just listen to the Fed, brother. 396 00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,800 I'm not your brother. 397 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,167 Are you a Musi? 398 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:02,433 How do we know eachother? 399 00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:03,800 STANLEY: - Fellas, let's keep our heads, eh. 400 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,700 YVONNE: Chesney, back off. 401 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,333 How did you know about the safe? 402 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,267 Huh? 403 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:14,700 Ah, you got a shop you got a safe! 404 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,233 No, the only people who know about that safe are here. 405 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,333 You're too clued up. 406 00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,800 You rob me the one morning I'm not here. 407 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,133 How did you know that? 408 00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:31,733 Please, don't tell me this is what I think it is. 409 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,233 An inside job. 410 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,667 Whose idea were it? 411 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,900 Well?! 412 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,767 You said this was going to be easy. 413 00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:41,600 Put on a show for the cameras. 414 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,333 In and out no distractions. 415 00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:46,233 Fucking hell's bells, Stan. 416 00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,967 Thought my lot were wrong un's. 417 00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,133 I knew it. 418 00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:52,033 Asif Khan, evil money lending harami. 419 00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:52,967 Easy, Chesney. 420 00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,867 He's still carrying. 421 00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:57,700 This wasn't meant to happen. 422 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,800 20 applicants to clean dishes and they 423 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,133 tell me, lack of experience. 424 00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,800 I'm unemployable. 425 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,000 I can't make out, fix out. 426 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,667 I wouldn't even give me a job. - Oh dear. 427 00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:13,567 Oh dear. 428 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:14,700 Dry your eyes. 429 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,433 There's a place in the workforce for everybody, 430 00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:19,467 Carl, even coconuts like you. Isn't that right, Micky? 431 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:20,700 Yeah. 432 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,600 You're not using your breadbox. 433 00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,267 You tell us what you're after and we'll come 434 00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,800 up with a perfect job for you. 435 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,867 I just want to do something that people are impressed by. 436 00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:30,300 I want them to look at me say, there's Carl Gallagher the-- 437 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:34,267 lumberjack 438 00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:36,333 And I need to be around girls. 439 00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:40,367 So you want a job to get laid, don't require you to think. 440 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,267 I suppose. 441 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:42,933 And If I could travel, great. 442 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,167 You know, see the world and that. 443 00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:46,333 - Uniform? - Ladies love a man in uniform. 444 00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:49,033 As long as I don't look like a dick. 445 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,133 Holiday rep! 446 00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:53,800 Hello, sailor. 447 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,300 Anyone for tennis? 448 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,667 [laughter] 449 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,167 Clear off taking a piss! 450 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,467 No, it was inspired, that. 451 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:02,667 I'll show you's. 452 00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:04,233 I'm going to do something that gets me respect. 453 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:21,733 Because I want what I'm owed. 454 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,900 How much? 455 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:23,833 Two. 456 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:24,933 Grand? 457 00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,067 What the fuck do you need that for? 458 00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:27,267 What's that got to do with you? 459 00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,433 It's my mum you're robbing. 460 00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:29,733 Don't get holier than thou with me 461 00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,300 doing study forums in her shop. 462 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,433 Stop it! 463 00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:36,033 What have I done to deserve this? 464 00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:38,933 What's happened to my kids? 465 00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:41,133 What did you need the loan for, Meena? 466 00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:42,767 Pay off a bar bill? 467 00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:44,100 Buy a few more party dresses? 468 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,767 No, I paid a photographer to take shots of me. 469 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:47,667 I want to be a model. 470 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,233 You? 471 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,967 If you have been flashing your fanny for some dirty old perv-- 472 00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,533 God, I'm trying to tell you. 473 00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:55,500 Why do you always think you know it all? 474 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,133 Because when it comes to you, I do. 475 00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:58,933 Didn't know I were going to do this, or did you? 476 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,600 I got behind with the repayment. 477 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,200 So you decided to rob me? 478 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,733 You never listen. 479 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,800 You assume everything. 480 00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,467 So now I'm to blame for all this? 481 00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:11,267 I screwed up, but everything I said is true, mum. 482 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:13,133 Chesney will back me up. 483 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,367 He tried telling you why I didn't 484 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,567 want to go to school today. 485 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:16,467 No he didn't. 486 00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,000 I did actually, twice. 487 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,200 I'm the same, Yvonne. 488 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:24,300 Selective hearing. 489 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,133 But to be fair, you kids do talk a lot of bullocks. 490 00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,200 Shut up, Frank! 491 00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:34,067 So you're with them? 492 00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:35,733 My son's bunking off. 493 00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:37,900 My daughter's trying to hustle me. 494 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,567 My boyfriend thinks I'm a bitch. 495 00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:42,533 It's all my fault then. 496 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:45,633 Great. 497 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:49,967 Could you run us to Betterbuys? 498 00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,633 No, get a bus. 499 00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:52,533 Oh, thanks. 500 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,100 Half an hour? 501 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,233 He's just hiding to get out of cycling proficiency. 502 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,600 Carrie. 503 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,033 They could be making up. 504 00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:07,133 Do you really want to interupt that? 505 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,933 OK, PC O'Leary. 506 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:11,633 Would you say that a good sarge distinguishes herself by making 507 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,600 big calls under pressure? 508 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:14,933 I would. 509 00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:16,067 Well, we need to educate the next generation 510 00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:17,700 of Chatsworth cyclists. 511 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,300 Let's go. 512 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,033 Loverboy can explain his absence to the inspector. 513 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,000 Lying bitch! 514 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,133 What the hell is this? 515 00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:36,100 You said that safe was full of money! 516 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,300 Asif, let go. 517 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,500 Come on. 518 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,833 Scaring her isn't going to bring that money back. 519 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:41,133 I told you there was nothing in it. 520 00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:42,100 Yeah, well I thought you were having me on! 521 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,733 Fucking hell! 522 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:44,767 What now, eh?! 523 00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:45,967 How am I going to get my cash? 524 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,333 They've got a massive telly out there. 525 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,000 ROBBER: How the fuck am I going to get out of here 526 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,333 without getting arrested?! 527 00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:51,767 We'll give you the CCTV tape. 528 00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:53,233 What? 529 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,667 Look, that tape is the only proof that you were here. 530 00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,267 We'll give it to you and then go. 531 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:02,500 Oh, so what about your mates, eh? 532 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,900 What-- about them? 533 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,233 They only respond to crimes and you were here shopping, right? 534 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:08,567 - I'll pay you the money. - No. 535 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,467 No way. 536 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:10,233 It's not your debt. 537 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,433 He's a thieving scumbag! 538 00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:12,767 Will you shut it? 539 00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:14,333 He sorts people out. 540 00:20:14,433 --> 00:20:17,133 He's one everybody goes to when nobody else will help. 541 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,567 He's been there for plenty of families around here. 542 00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:22,433 Besides, what have I told you about borrowing money? 543 00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:24,467 Pay it back before interest is due. 544 00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:25,933 I'll get you the rest. 545 00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,967 How do I know you won't cry off? 546 00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:29,467 Send bobbies round to me house. 547 00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:30,967 Because she's not a grass and she knows 548 00:20:31,067 --> 00:20:33,100 you'd give up Meena as an accessory. 549 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,000 You've got to trust each other. 550 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,333 We all have to make out like this didn't happen. 551 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,733 FRANK: Excuse me, shopkeeper. 552 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:45,167 In return for my silence. 553 00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,633 Yvonne? 554 00:20:53,733 --> 00:20:55,433 Don't push your luck! 555 00:20:55,533 --> 00:20:56,200 Give me the gun. 556 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,933 I can't it's me cousin's! 557 00:20:58,033 --> 00:20:59,067 I'm not having some bloke walking 558 00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:00,400 through Chatsworth with that. 559 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,300 BOTH (SINGING): 'Round my shoulders. 560 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:25,400 And I-I-I had a feeling that I belonged. 561 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:30,933 I-I-I had a feeling I could be someone. 562 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:33,500 I hear you're about to drop, girl? 563 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,167 Leftovers from when our Mandy had Katie. 564 00:21:36,267 --> 00:21:37,400 Clogging up me cupboards. 565 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:40,100 Right, ta. 566 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,633 Fucking decent stuff. 567 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:46,133 There's breast pump, nipple pads to soak up your leakage. 568 00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:47,567 Here, has your milk come in, yet? 569 00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:48,733 No. 570 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,167 Really? 571 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:53,333 In that case, hit a truck the other day, Red Cross. 572 00:21:53,433 --> 00:21:55,033 Shit loads of baby formula. 573 00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:59,267 You can have it, in case your baby doesn't lock on. 574 00:21:59,367 --> 00:22:00,200 See you. 575 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,567 You all right, Mon? 576 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,133 No. 577 00:22:11,233 --> 00:22:14,133 It's all this baby this, baby that. 578 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,033 Oh well, just chill, eh? 579 00:22:17,133 --> 00:22:20,633 It's not good for you or the baby. 580 00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:23,133 Got to calm down. 581 00:22:23,233 --> 00:22:25,967 Think about what's best for you both. 582 00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:27,900 What's best for us. 583 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,900 Get her out! 584 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,900 She wants it. 585 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:31,900 I want it. 586 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,733 Just do it before I go mad. 587 00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,033 Nice cup of tea, two sugars. 588 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,233 You're making us go to school? 589 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,467 After we've been held hostage? 590 00:22:57,567 --> 00:22:59,400 Normal service resumes. 591 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,733 Plus, I want you back here by tea time. 592 00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:03,533 We've go stuff to sort out. 593 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:04,433 Go on. 594 00:23:10,433 --> 00:23:11,900 Close for the day, eh, Yvonne? 595 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,667 No, I'm OK. 596 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:19,633 About this morning, I'm sorry. 597 00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:25,933 I guess I'm just great at change. 598 00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:27,600 Don't beat yourself up, love. 599 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,667 Coming from a big family of hard bastards, 600 00:23:29,767 --> 00:23:31,233 the soft didn't survive. 601 00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:35,567 When I though I'd found the man who was going to make me happy, 602 00:23:35,667 --> 00:23:38,867 it just turned out to be a big spending poof. 603 00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:40,567 That ain't that much to smile about. 604 00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:41,700 I make you smile, don't I? 605 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,467 I definitely made you smile at least twice. 606 00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:46,000 Hey, hat-trick. 607 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:47,700 Yvonne, I want to make you happy. 608 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:48,900 - Oh stop. - What? 609 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,033 Oh come on, we've had a row. 610 00:23:50,133 --> 00:23:51,100 Big deal. 611 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,233 This works. 612 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:53,933 It'd be crazy to give this up. 613 00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:57,100 And you know, if you want to face facts, neither one of us 614 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,300 is getting any younger. 615 00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,433 Stan, I don't want this conversation. 616 00:23:59,533 --> 00:24:01,033 - Why not? - I'm not your folks. 617 00:24:01,133 --> 00:24:02,033 I'm not Kash. 618 00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:04,333 I'm a good bloke and sod it. 619 00:24:04,433 --> 00:24:05,567 I love you. 620 00:24:05,667 --> 00:24:07,267 I wasn't planning on moving in with you, just yet. 621 00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:09,967 I mean, that's not what these pants are about, 622 00:24:10,067 --> 00:24:12,000 but it's what I want down the line, Yvonne. 623 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:13,200 I want us to be together. 624 00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:14,467 I want to be part of your family. 625 00:24:14,567 --> 00:24:15,967 - Stan, stop. - Marry me, love. 626 00:24:16,067 --> 00:24:18,100 No! 627 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,200 You don't get it. 628 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,600 Yvonne Karib, will you marry me? 629 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:21,800 I can't! 630 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:22,733 [bang] 631 00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:24,600 [crash] 632 00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:26,600 Stan! 633 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:27,867 Are you all right? - Uh. 634 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:28,933 It's OK. - Talk to me. 635 00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:29,867 Are you all right? 636 00:24:29,967 --> 00:24:30,933 It's fine. 637 00:24:31,033 --> 00:24:32,033 Stan. 638 00:24:35,233 --> 00:24:38,933 Thank God for bullet proof vests. 639 00:24:39,033 --> 00:24:41,867 Stan. 640 00:24:41,967 --> 00:24:45,033 [crash] 641 00:24:45,133 --> 00:24:45,933 It's me boyfriend. 642 00:24:46,033 --> 00:24:47,933 He's been shot. 643 00:24:48,033 --> 00:24:49,767 He's a copper. 644 00:24:49,867 --> 00:24:52,167 Please hurry. 645 00:24:52,267 --> 00:24:55,767 Between the shoulder and ah. 646 00:24:55,867 --> 00:24:58,700 Causeway Parade, Chatsworth. 647 00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,600 Please hurry. 648 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:00,633 There's blood everywhere. 649 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:01,800 What can I do? 650 00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:09,267 It's all right. 651 00:25:09,367 --> 00:25:11,867 The ambulance is coming. 652 00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:13,733 It's going to be OK. 653 00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:16,100 Press there for me. 654 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,033 Please hurry up. 655 00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:19,100 He's not good. 656 00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:27,000 Oi, you! 657 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:28,067 With both hands, please! 658 00:25:28,167 --> 00:25:29,067 Shut up! 659 00:25:29,167 --> 00:25:32,500 You're not even from Manchester. 660 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,500 [bell rings] 661 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,400 Jesus! 662 00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:38,433 Hey! [whistle blows] 663 00:25:38,533 --> 00:25:39,433 Slow down! 664 00:25:39,533 --> 00:25:42,400 Will everyone stop!? 665 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:43,533 Hit the breaks! 666 00:25:43,633 --> 00:25:45,400 What did I tell you to do when I blew this?! 667 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,767 POLICE RADIO: Reports of a gun shot-- 668 00:25:46,867 --> 00:25:48,067 [whistle blows] 669 00:25:48,167 --> 00:25:49,033 POLICE RADIO: --at [inaudible] in Chatsworth. 670 00:25:49,133 --> 00:25:50,033 Hey, Kerri, hush yourself. 671 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:51,033 POLICE RADIO: --police officer. 672 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:52,133 Repeat, police officer wounded. 673 00:25:52,233 --> 00:25:53,333 Informant is a Mrs. Yvonne Karib. 674 00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:54,233 Stan! 675 00:25:58,567 --> 00:25:59,467 God! 676 00:25:59,567 --> 00:26:00,433 What have I done? 677 00:26:03,533 --> 00:26:05,400 I'm scared, love. 678 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,333 I'm getting cold. 679 00:26:07,433 --> 00:26:09,367 Really cold. 680 00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:12,267 You're against the fridge, Stan. 681 00:26:12,367 --> 00:26:14,100 Cuddle me. 682 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,533 Abulance will be here soon. 683 00:26:17,633 --> 00:26:18,767 Why can't you marry me? 684 00:26:18,867 --> 00:26:20,833 Don't talk about like that. 685 00:26:20,933 --> 00:26:23,567 Save your strength. 686 00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,500 I have to know, please. 687 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,767 If I could, I would. 688 00:26:27,867 --> 00:26:29,700 But I can't. 689 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:30,767 What's stopping us? 690 00:26:30,867 --> 00:26:33,633 You can tell me. 691 00:26:33,733 --> 00:26:35,233 I'm still married. 692 00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:36,100 How? 693 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,400 Kash is alive. 694 00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:41,100 I thought he killed himself. 695 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,000 I made him fake it to get creditors off his back. 696 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:46,833 He went up to his eyes in debt. 697 00:26:46,933 --> 00:26:49,767 Nobody knows so I can't marry you. 698 00:26:49,867 --> 00:26:51,467 It'd just be wrong. 699 00:26:51,567 --> 00:26:56,367 Yvonne, why didn't you tell me? 700 00:26:56,467 --> 00:26:58,133 Stan! 701 00:26:58,233 --> 00:27:01,533 Oh Jesus Chri-- 702 00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:02,933 OK, Find the weapon. 703 00:27:03,033 --> 00:27:05,867 Yvonne, come one give him room to work. 704 00:27:05,967 --> 00:27:07,567 Wee need to let him help Stan. 705 00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:08,500 All right? 706 00:27:11,267 --> 00:27:12,733 I need to ask you some questions. 707 00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:13,933 POLICE OFFICER: All right, Stan 708 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:14,833 Who did this? 709 00:27:14,933 --> 00:27:17,367 It were an accident. 710 00:27:17,467 --> 00:27:18,100 OK. 711 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,467 So where's the gun now? 712 00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:21,767 It just went off. 713 00:27:21,867 --> 00:27:22,700 Sarge. 714 00:27:25,867 --> 00:27:27,367 All right. You stay with Stan. 715 00:27:27,467 --> 00:27:28,333 Call me if-- 716 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,100 Yvonne, I need to get you to the station. 717 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,200 I want to go with Stan. 718 00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:39,567 We'll keep you updated. 719 00:27:39,667 --> 00:27:41,000 (SOBBING) OK, but I want to go in the abulance. 720 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,067 Best not to make this any more difficult. 721 00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:45,733 Let's just get in the car, yeah? 722 00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:47,800 Come on. 723 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:53,500 Stan, don't you dare die. 724 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,367 You join the army? 725 00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:56,233 Yeah. 726 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:58,167 Well, entrance test next week. 727 00:27:58,267 --> 00:27:59,533 Recruitment guy reckons I got what it takes. 728 00:27:59,633 --> 00:28:01,300 Yeah, to get your head shot off. 729 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,967 I don't want your death on me conscience. 730 00:28:03,067 --> 00:28:03,900 And I know the risk. 731 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,400 I watch DVDs. 732 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,167 Yeah, man. 733 00:28:06,267 --> 00:28:07,733 Cut Rambo some slack. 734 00:28:07,833 --> 00:28:11,300 He's old enough to know his own mind and he looks the part. 735 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,833 The army's perfect for me. 736 00:28:12,933 --> 00:28:14,133 Girls love the uniform, get to travel-- 737 00:28:14,233 --> 00:28:15,067 PATRON: Yeah, man. 738 00:28:15,167 --> 00:28:16,033 Two pints, please. 739 00:28:16,133 --> 00:28:17,367 Make the most of me assets. 740 00:28:17,467 --> 00:28:19,633 Your assets will be fuck all use when a sniper's 741 00:28:19,733 --> 00:28:21,033 got you in his sights. 742 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,733 Lads like you get used, Carl. 743 00:28:22,833 --> 00:28:23,633 You're cannon fodder. 744 00:28:23,733 --> 00:28:24,900 Piss off, Ian! 745 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,067 I make his big life decision because you're 746 00:28:26,167 --> 00:28:27,467 getting on my case. 747 00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:29,567 Now you're having a pop at me. Can't win with you. 748 00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:31,400 I didn't make you enlist 749 00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:32,900 So you think I made a mistake? 750 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:33,800 Yeah. 751 00:28:36,467 --> 00:28:38,333 Well, obviously if you come home in a body bag 752 00:28:38,433 --> 00:28:40,033 it's a bad idea. 753 00:28:40,133 --> 00:28:41,533 Well, stuff the lot of you. 754 00:28:41,633 --> 00:28:43,100 I'm doing this. 755 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,500 Who dares, wins. 756 00:28:51,733 --> 00:28:53,800 You all right, there Mrs. G? 757 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,067 Want a lift anywhere? 758 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:57,067 No, you're all right. 759 00:28:57,167 --> 00:28:58,900 Got to walk. 760 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,533 Long walks and curry. 761 00:29:01,633 --> 00:29:03,167 Micky! 762 00:29:03,267 --> 00:29:04,567 Can you take us to Balti Heaven? 763 00:29:04,667 --> 00:29:05,467 Do what? 764 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:12,500 I've got a craving Oh, go via Anderson Road, eh? 765 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,400 Why? 766 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,233 Mmm. 767 00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:33,100 Mmm. 768 00:29:36,833 --> 00:29:39,867 Sorry baby, but I'm doing this for the both of us. 769 00:29:39,967 --> 00:29:43,167 Please, let me pull over Mrs. G. You're going to me covers, 770 00:29:43,267 --> 00:29:44,500 I've got to do a hen party. 771 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:45,867 Nope. 772 00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:46,967 Humps are good. 773 00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:48,133 I want more humps. 774 00:29:51,367 --> 00:29:53,033 Frank! 775 00:29:53,133 --> 00:29:54,600 I need to find me husband! 776 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:05,400 Munich, Wacco, Beslan. 777 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,767 Name one siege that ended well. 778 00:30:10,967 --> 00:30:14,967 Exactly None. 779 00:30:15,067 --> 00:30:16,133 There's my husband! 780 00:30:21,533 --> 00:30:23,600 Blessed, I am. 781 00:30:23,700 --> 00:30:25,567 MONICA: Frank! 782 00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:27,967 Frank! 783 00:30:28,067 --> 00:30:31,333 I need you to take me from behind. 784 00:30:31,433 --> 00:30:32,633 What did I tell you all? 785 00:30:32,733 --> 00:30:33,567 Blessed. 786 00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:49,700 Come on then, today. 787 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,933 Don't think I can, love. 788 00:30:52,033 --> 00:30:53,033 Say, do you need a hand? 789 00:30:53,133 --> 00:30:54,633 No. No, he's working. 790 00:30:54,733 --> 00:30:55,833 He's working. 791 00:30:55,933 --> 00:30:57,567 MONICA: It's most men's fantasy, this. 792 00:30:57,667 --> 00:31:01,233 A blooming woman begging for it doggy, nice and deep. 793 00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:02,733 I've had a traumatic day. 794 00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:03,933 Uh. 795 00:31:04,033 --> 00:31:06,633 What if the nipper gets brain damage? 796 00:31:06,733 --> 00:31:08,167 You know from the thrusting. 797 00:31:08,267 --> 00:31:10,533 They have that soft bit on top of their head. 798 00:31:10,633 --> 00:31:12,100 You're not going to hurt the baby! 799 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,567 You're not even going to come close! 800 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,600 Now shag me! 801 00:31:15,700 --> 00:31:17,167 I need cock! 802 00:31:17,267 --> 00:31:18,733 Give me some cock! 803 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:19,933 I can't! 804 00:31:20,033 --> 00:31:21,033 Not with him there! 805 00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:27,433 A pint and painkiller, ta, Jamie! 806 00:31:31,067 --> 00:31:32,433 Ta. 807 00:31:32,533 --> 00:31:35,067 They don't design bars with disabled veterans in mind. 808 00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:37,400 You in the army? 809 00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:38,867 What of it? 810 00:31:38,967 --> 00:31:40,967 Nothing, just I'm joining. 811 00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:41,867 All right. 812 00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:43,767 Good for you. 813 00:31:43,867 --> 00:31:44,700 No. 814 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,467 Fucking good for you, pal. 815 00:31:46,567 --> 00:31:48,333 Takes a brave life to sign up nowadays. 816 00:31:52,267 --> 00:31:53,100 Queen and country. 817 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,167 Yeah, man. 818 00:31:56,933 --> 00:31:58,267 You won't regret it. 819 00:31:58,367 --> 00:32:01,433 The British army is the best in the world. 820 00:32:01,533 --> 00:32:06,333 Takes kids and turns them into ultimate warriors. 821 00:32:06,433 --> 00:32:07,967 Right. 822 00:32:08,067 --> 00:32:09,967 So, where were you posted? 823 00:32:10,067 --> 00:32:10,933 All over. 824 00:32:11,033 --> 00:32:11,867 Iraq. 825 00:32:11,967 --> 00:32:13,433 Afghanistan. 826 00:32:13,533 --> 00:32:15,867 Scary places, like. 827 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:17,600 Great times, though. 828 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:19,967 Yup, best six months of my life. 829 00:32:20,067 --> 00:32:21,333 That's not long. 830 00:32:21,433 --> 00:32:22,300 Mmm. 831 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,133 No. 832 00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:25,600 But, you know what? 833 00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:28,200 I might have had me back snapped by the Taliban, 834 00:32:28,300 --> 00:32:30,167 but I have no regrets. 835 00:32:30,267 --> 00:32:31,900 Be nice to piss standing up again, like, 836 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,333 but you can't win them all. 837 00:32:34,433 --> 00:32:36,567 [snickering] 838 00:32:36,667 --> 00:32:39,167 - You pricks! - What? 839 00:32:39,267 --> 00:32:40,867 You really think I'd fall for this? 840 00:32:40,967 --> 00:32:42,867 Back snapped by the Taliban? 841 00:32:42,967 --> 00:32:43,767 Do you think I'm stupid? 842 00:32:43,867 --> 00:32:44,867 Mate, it was my idea. 843 00:32:44,967 --> 00:32:46,300 He still went along with it. 844 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,133 I still think you haven't thought about it properly. 845 00:32:48,233 --> 00:32:49,467 And who's this twat? 846 00:32:49,567 --> 00:32:50,400 Come on! 847 00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:51,367 Come on! 848 00:32:51,467 --> 00:32:52,633 Get up so I could smack you! Come on! 849 00:32:52,733 --> 00:32:53,533 Carl! 850 00:32:53,633 --> 00:32:55,267 He can't He can't! 851 00:32:55,367 --> 00:32:57,400 The chair's for real. 852 00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:58,667 He broke his back on the railways. 853 00:33:07,033 --> 00:33:08,767 Oh, finally. 854 00:33:08,867 --> 00:33:10,733 I've been worried sick! 855 00:33:10,833 --> 00:33:12,267 Is there any news? 856 00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:13,567 Here. 857 00:33:13,667 --> 00:33:15,200 Carrie! 858 00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:16,467 He's being operated on. 859 00:33:16,567 --> 00:33:17,267 It's all I know. 860 00:33:17,367 --> 00:33:19,233 Is he going to be OK? 861 00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:20,567 I don't know anymore than that. 862 00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:21,967 When will he be out? 863 00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:25,633 Yvonne, the CID are going to want to talk to you. 864 00:33:25,733 --> 00:33:27,033 Right. 865 00:33:27,133 --> 00:33:30,367 For that to happen, you've got to be under caution. 866 00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:32,000 What?! 867 00:33:32,100 --> 00:33:33,133 You're going to arrest me!? 868 00:33:33,233 --> 00:33:35,833 They know the CCTV tape's missing. 869 00:33:35,933 --> 00:33:37,200 They think that you destroyed it to make 870 00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:38,333 it look like an accident. 871 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:39,433 Because it was! 872 00:33:39,533 --> 00:33:41,067 You have to think very carefully about what 873 00:33:41,167 --> 00:33:44,800 you say from now on, yeah? 874 00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:46,933 I didn't mean it. 875 00:33:47,033 --> 00:33:49,000 I wouldn't do anything to hurt Stan. 876 00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:51,800 I know. 877 00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:54,567 You do not have to say anything, but it may hurt your defense. 878 00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:56,100 [moaning] 879 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,000 MONICA: Oh yeah! 880 00:33:57,100 --> 00:33:58,067 Deeper, Frank! 881 00:33:58,167 --> 00:33:58,967 FRANK: Oh! 882 00:33:59,067 --> 00:33:59,900 MONICA: Yeah! 883 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,067 Go deeper. 884 00:34:01,167 --> 00:34:02,800 Just try not to make a mess. 885 00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:03,767 MONICA: Yeah! 886 00:34:03,867 --> 00:34:06,267 That's it. (MOANING) Oh God! 887 00:34:06,367 --> 00:34:08,200 Oh God! 888 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:09,100 Oh baby! 889 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,200 FRANK: Yeah baby! 890 00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:11,733 Who's back on form?! MONICA: No! 891 00:34:11,833 --> 00:34:13,000 Baby! Baby! 892 00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:13,933 It's coming! 893 00:34:14,033 --> 00:34:14,933 Oh, God! 894 00:34:15,033 --> 00:34:16,633 I'm so charging double for this! 895 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:23,033 MONICA: Frank, where you going? 896 00:34:23,133 --> 00:34:23,967 Fetching the kids! 897 00:34:24,067 --> 00:34:25,600 Moral support! 898 00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:28,000 But, I want you there! 899 00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:29,233 Oh, fuck it. 900 00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:30,433 Take me to hospital. 901 00:34:30,533 --> 00:34:31,367 I'm having a baby. 902 00:34:36,067 --> 00:34:36,867 (MOANING) 903 00:34:36,967 --> 00:34:38,300 OK, deep breaths. 904 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,167 It'll pass. 905 00:34:40,267 --> 00:34:42,267 So when did your waters break? 906 00:34:42,367 --> 00:34:43,100 Um. 907 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,467 Oh, a bit ago. 908 00:34:44,567 --> 00:34:45,467 This afternoon. 909 00:34:45,567 --> 00:34:47,367 How far apart are your contractions? 910 00:34:47,467 --> 00:34:49,467 Not very but me tummy is going like a tumble dryer, 911 00:34:49,567 --> 00:34:52,667 so something is moving. 912 00:34:52,767 --> 00:34:54,433 Oh girls, you're just in time. 913 00:34:54,533 --> 00:34:55,333 Babies coming. 914 00:34:55,433 --> 00:34:56,933 No, it's not. 915 00:34:57,033 --> 00:34:57,833 You're not in labor. 916 00:34:57,933 --> 00:34:58,767 What? 917 00:34:58,867 --> 00:34:59,867 Excuse me! 918 00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:01,700 I know what labor feels like. 919 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,000 Your waters haven't broken. 920 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,267 You're not dilated and you're wasting my time. 921 00:35:05,367 --> 00:35:07,633 Do you know how many women are out there, waiting to drop? 922 00:35:07,733 --> 00:35:10,167 I know my body and I've been pooing nonstop. 923 00:35:10,267 --> 00:35:11,200 Now that's a sign! 924 00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:13,333 Yeah, of gut rot! 925 00:35:13,433 --> 00:35:14,633 What have you been eating? 926 00:35:14,733 --> 00:35:17,333 Chicken Madras and castor oil. 927 00:35:17,433 --> 00:35:18,767 Out! 928 00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:20,067 Fucking lot of you! 929 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,667 You understand what I'm saying? 930 00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:35,167 Won't be a minute. 931 00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:36,700 What's happened? 932 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:37,700 Does he know? 933 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:38,600 Tom! 934 00:35:44,033 --> 00:35:48,067 No, Stan! (SOBS) Please! 935 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,067 I'm not a good sarge. 936 00:35:53,167 --> 00:35:55,900 Nobody could have predicted that Stan would get shot. 937 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,433 You reacted like a sarge. 938 00:35:57,533 --> 00:36:00,567 You did good. 939 00:36:00,667 --> 00:36:01,600 Now, shall we do this? 940 00:36:07,633 --> 00:36:08,867 Yvonne, he's fine. 941 00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:11,000 Tom was just with him in hospital. 942 00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:12,800 The man's a hero. 943 00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:14,867 Deserves a commendation for what he did. 944 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:20,000 [grunting] 945 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:22,167 The masked robber just panicked and did on. 946 00:36:22,267 --> 00:36:24,833 I mean, irony of ironies that the gun goes off when Yvonne 947 00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:28,167 hands it to me for safekeeping. 948 00:36:28,267 --> 00:36:29,333 You're free to go. 949 00:36:29,433 --> 00:36:31,200 Really?! 950 00:36:31,300 --> 00:36:32,467 Oh, can I see him? 951 00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:33,533 Ward E, third floor. 952 00:36:39,133 --> 00:36:43,100 Oh, go on and buy your old man a pint, son. 953 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,667 You've run out of Carl's savings? 954 00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:50,933 Ah. (FAKE LAUGHS) I would just like to wet my new babies head. 955 00:36:51,033 --> 00:36:51,900 What? 956 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,100 Your mum's at the hospital. 957 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,000 She's probably had it by now. 958 00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:56,067 No labour at that age. 959 00:36:56,167 --> 00:36:57,600 Slips out like a wet pig. 960 00:36:57,700 --> 00:36:58,500 Carl! 961 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,367 Mum's had the baby! 962 00:37:00,467 --> 00:37:01,233 Get in! 963 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:03,733 Double celebration! 964 00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,133 What? 965 00:37:05,233 --> 00:37:07,000 Dick's signed up, army. 966 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,433 Well, all right. 967 00:37:13,533 --> 00:37:17,033 Well, he can sign up he wants, he's never 968 00:37:17,133 --> 00:37:18,500 going to pass his medical. 969 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:19,767 Fuck off! 970 00:37:19,867 --> 00:37:23,833 Fit as me, six minute mile, could lift you and you. 971 00:37:23,933 --> 00:37:25,500 [inaudible] That's as may be, but what 972 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,533 you going to do when the bombs and the strobes go off? 973 00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:31,900 You know, you start twitching, going all king Joy Division. 974 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,600 You what? 975 00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:37,300 You got bad wiring, kid. 976 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,933 Epileptic. 977 00:37:39,033 --> 00:37:40,433 No, I'm not. 978 00:37:40,533 --> 00:37:44,600 (LAUGHING) You were on my shoulders that first episode. 979 00:37:44,700 --> 00:37:48,433 The lights are flashing and you're fucking jerking. 980 00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:50,933 The ravers were coping all your moves, 981 00:37:51,033 --> 00:37:53,400 until you started foaming. 982 00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:56,033 You're lying How come I can't remember? 983 00:37:56,133 --> 00:37:57,533 Well, you don't. 984 00:37:57,633 --> 00:38:01,133 Yeah, that's the nature of the storm. 985 00:38:01,233 --> 00:38:03,433 It comes, it goes. 986 00:38:03,533 --> 00:38:05,100 How did that happen? 987 00:38:08,033 --> 00:38:11,500 It's a blessing, actually. 988 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,767 Shit! 989 00:38:13,867 --> 00:38:15,633 Shit! 990 00:38:15,733 --> 00:38:16,533 You happy now? 991 00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:23,433 I'm fairly sure it was him. 992 00:38:23,533 --> 00:38:26,400 It was definitely one of you all. 993 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:27,500 [laughter] 994 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,033 Go on, Captain Ale. 995 00:38:29,133 --> 00:38:31,067 Give us a thing. 996 00:38:31,167 --> 00:38:33,967 I didn't tell you about Kash, because I 997 00:38:34,067 --> 00:38:36,067 don't want to think about him. 998 00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:37,667 Not because I don't trust you, not 999 00:38:37,767 --> 00:38:41,100 because you're a copper, not because we're not there yet. 1000 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,767 It's fine, Yvonnne. 1001 00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:43,667 Don't worry. 1002 00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,300 God, you look shit, Stan. 1003 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,500 Thanks. 1004 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,300 Is it sore? 1005 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,967 I won't be spraying under there for a while. 1006 00:38:55,067 --> 00:38:56,667 So they were actually in school, then? 1007 00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:57,800 - [inaudible] - Yep. 1008 00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:59,300 Catching up. Homework club. 1009 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,833 Right. Talk to me about RE. 1010 00:39:02,933 --> 00:39:04,100 Oh. 1011 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:05,900 It's the teacher in it. 1012 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,133 She's a bigot. 1013 00:39:07,233 --> 00:39:10,100 She thinks all Musis want to blow things up. 1014 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,067 She turns the whole class against me. 1015 00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:14,667 I get abuse and that's why I've been jibbing. 1016 00:39:14,767 --> 00:39:16,067 Fine. Drop it. 1017 00:39:16,167 --> 00:39:16,967 Do something else. 1018 00:39:17,067 --> 00:39:18,033 You're doing it again! 1019 00:39:18,133 --> 00:39:19,333 I don't want to swap subjects. 1020 00:39:19,433 --> 00:39:22,267 I like RE. 1021 00:39:22,367 --> 00:39:23,733 Well, what you want? 1022 00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:25,133 Can you go and talk to her? 1023 00:39:25,233 --> 00:39:27,833 Tell her to give me a break without getting dark. 1024 00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:29,367 Of course, I can. 1025 00:39:29,467 --> 00:39:31,367 I better get another teacher in there, as well though. 1026 00:39:31,467 --> 00:39:32,300 Just in case. 1027 00:39:35,267 --> 00:39:37,333 So what are these posh snaps like, then? 1028 00:39:37,433 --> 00:39:38,300 They're good. 1029 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,367 They're really nice, professional. 1030 00:39:40,467 --> 00:39:42,867 It's amazing what airbrush can do. 1031 00:39:42,967 --> 00:39:44,167 Are they worth two grand? 1032 00:39:44,267 --> 00:39:45,267 Got a portfolio. 1033 00:39:45,367 --> 00:39:46,733 Got paid assignments. 1034 00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:49,367 It's a no-brainer. 1035 00:39:49,467 --> 00:39:50,567 OK. 1036 00:39:50,667 --> 00:39:52,733 But until you've earned you fortune on the catwalk, 1037 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,800 you be working weekends in the shop and settling it with me. 1038 00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:56,767 What? 1039 00:39:56,867 --> 00:39:58,567 That'll take forever! 1040 00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:00,300 If you can't do the time-- 1041 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,200 Fine. 1042 00:40:09,033 --> 00:40:11,133 Baby just wasn't ready to come out. 1043 00:40:11,233 --> 00:40:14,733 Monica, love, you want something for the stress? 1044 00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:16,967 Can you leave me alone, please? 1045 00:40:17,067 --> 00:40:19,067 I want to have a row with the father of my baby. 1046 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,300 Well, go on and get it over with because I've 1047 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,767 got a bottle full of excuses. 1048 00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:31,767 You've let me down. 1049 00:40:31,867 --> 00:40:33,000 Oh, fuck. 1050 00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,267 We were supposed to be doing this together. 1051 00:40:34,367 --> 00:40:36,067 This isn't easy for me. 1052 00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:37,067 You'll be fine. 1053 00:40:37,167 --> 00:40:38,767 You're a total fucking pro. 1054 00:40:38,867 --> 00:40:40,500 You've raised more babies than Old Mother Hubbard. 1055 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,433 Yeah, but I need help with this one. 1056 00:40:43,533 --> 00:40:45,900 I'm asking you to be there for us! 1057 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,567 Monica, I've told you. 1058 00:40:47,667 --> 00:40:48,600 You know this! 1059 00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:50,867 I'm fucking useless. 1060 00:40:50,967 --> 00:40:53,033 You know at this stage. 1061 00:40:53,133 --> 00:40:55,600 Delicate little things, you know? 1062 00:40:55,700 --> 00:40:56,533 What can I do? 1063 00:40:56,633 --> 00:40:57,800 Loads! 1064 00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,767 You can bath it. 1065 00:40:59,867 --> 00:41:01,900 You can change it's nappy. 1066 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,267 you can shove a bottle in its mouth. 1067 00:41:03,367 --> 00:41:04,000 I know! 1068 00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:05,267 It's a baby, Frank! 1069 00:41:05,367 --> 00:41:06,467 It's not good eat you. 1070 00:41:06,567 --> 00:41:07,800 It needs you. 1071 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,333 I know it's a fucking baby. 1072 00:41:09,433 --> 00:41:11,067 What do you think I've been doing all these fucking years? 1073 00:41:11,167 --> 00:41:15,567 Just do what comes naturally. - Natural-- yeah. 1074 00:41:15,667 --> 00:41:18,700 I told you that. 1075 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:19,967 All right. 1076 00:41:20,067 --> 00:41:21,033 I know. 1077 00:41:25,467 --> 00:41:26,633 I know. 1078 00:41:26,733 --> 00:41:29,267 Go across the road to Tina Brown and ask 1079 00:41:29,367 --> 00:41:30,633 if we can borrow her paddling pool, 1080 00:41:30,733 --> 00:41:33,300 because I think one of them water births. 1081 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,567 I could wear me gold bikini. 1082 00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:37,700 Well, go on! 1083 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,733 We need to practice. 1084 00:41:39,833 --> 00:41:43,333 We have to be ready, because baby could come any day now. 1085 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,033 Yvonne Toni-Mari Karib, I know you're set in your ways, 1086 00:41:54,133 --> 00:41:57,500 and I've still got a lot to learn about you, 1087 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:02,267 but from this day on, I promise, I won't make any big surprises 1088 00:42:02,367 --> 00:42:03,800 or make any big demands on you. 1089 00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:05,567 For fear of being shot? 1090 00:42:05,667 --> 00:42:06,833 Absolutely. 1091 00:42:06,933 --> 00:42:09,233 OK, it's my go. 1092 00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:12,933 Stanley Dennis Waterman, I know that you 1093 00:42:13,033 --> 00:42:15,533 tend to dive into stuff-- 1094 00:42:15,633 --> 00:42:18,067 That's a fair assumption, I'll give you that one. 1095 00:42:18,167 --> 00:42:22,033 --but from this day on, I'll try to be more open 1096 00:42:22,133 --> 00:42:23,567 to what you're diving into. 1097 00:42:23,667 --> 00:42:25,367 Thank you. 1098 00:42:25,467 --> 00:42:26,133 MEENA: Come on. 1099 00:42:26,233 --> 00:42:27,333 This is painful. 1100 00:42:27,433 --> 00:42:29,167 (SIGHS) Cut to the chase. 1101 00:42:40,633 --> 00:42:43,133 As a token of my commitment to you, 1102 00:42:43,233 --> 00:42:45,733 I give you this new four pack of pants from George-- 1103 00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:47,300 Snazzy! 1104 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,967 --as a symbol of my desire to stay over on extra nights week 1105 00:42:51,067 --> 00:42:54,767 and call you my girlfriend. 1106 00:42:54,867 --> 00:42:58,333 And as a token of mine, I'll find a place for them 1107 00:42:58,433 --> 00:43:01,767 in my drawer, unless you want one of your own. 1108 00:43:01,867 --> 00:43:04,467 Really? 1109 00:43:04,567 --> 00:43:07,267 Relationships are all about making sacrifices, right? 1110 00:43:09,667 --> 00:43:11,333 But don't think I'm washing your mucky kecks. 1111 00:43:11,433 --> 00:43:12,433 I draw the line. 1112 00:43:16,733 --> 00:43:22,567 [crowd noise] 1113 00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:23,500 Shit! 1114 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:28,300 You didn't tell them you have fits? 1115 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,267 You really think they won't find out? 1116 00:43:30,367 --> 00:43:32,167 You don't lie to the military. 1117 00:43:32,267 --> 00:43:34,400 Ian, I had a good chat with my career advisor. 1118 00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,133 Doing the job I've always wanted. 1119 00:43:36,233 --> 00:43:37,833 Shock and awe. 1120 00:43:37,933 --> 00:43:39,033 Hit it! 1121 00:43:39,133 --> 00:43:51,733 [MUSIC - PAUL HARDCASTLE, "NINETEEN"] 1122 00:43:51,833 --> 00:43:54,133 Dozens of girls are touching you up. 1123 00:43:54,233 --> 00:43:55,700 Passions are running high. 1124 00:44:01,767 --> 00:44:03,667 You might not get out alive. 1125 00:44:03,767 --> 00:44:12,433 [girls cheering] 1126 00:44:12,533 --> 00:44:15,567 What would you fucking do, eh!? 1127 00:44:15,667 --> 00:44:25,833 [gun cocks and shoots] 1128 00:44:25,933 --> 00:44:28,467 IAN (VOICEOVER): Of course, the irony of people who can't 1129 00:44:28,567 --> 00:44:32,867 commit, is most of them are already on the way to whatever 1130 00:44:32,967 --> 00:44:34,067 it is that's freaking them out. 1131 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,300 You only ever get cold feet when you're 1132 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,633 at the point of no return. 1133 00:44:40,733 --> 00:44:42,967 You've just gone make that leap. 1134 00:44:43,067 --> 00:44:44,733 You always feel better for making a decision. 1135 00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:45,667 Yeah! 1136 00:44:50,733 --> 00:44:52,600 IAN (VOICEOVER): As long as it's the right one, like. 1137 00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:54,867 I'm leaking. 1138 00:44:54,967 --> 00:44:56,600 I'm leaking! 1139 00:44:56,700 --> 00:44:59,633 That means I'll be able to give her the boob! 1140 00:44:59,733 --> 00:45:01,000 That's disgusting. 1141 00:45:06,433 --> 00:45:07,433 Clever mummy. 1142 00:45:07,533 --> 00:45:51,567 [theme music] 1143 00:45:51,667 --> 00:45:56,567 (SIGHS) Debbie! 1144 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,067 [film rise music]