1 00:00:05,733 --> 00:00:10,000 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 2 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:13,000 Come watch pikeys making a mess of the lives that 3 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,767 were given by Him upstairs. 4 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:19,600 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:20,500 Wicked. 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,800 Piss off. 7 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:25,767 What sounds on Earth could ever replace kids needing 8 00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:28,333 money or wives in your face? 9 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:31,400 'Cause this, people reckon, me included, 10 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:34,600 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented. 11 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,000 To calm us all down. 12 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,433 Stop us going mental. 13 00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:43,233 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 14 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:49,167 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 15 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:54,267 You sit on our head, but you pay the taxes. 16 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:58,033 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth Buccaneers. 17 00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:02,000 Who'd cum on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 18 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,567 Make poverty history. 19 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,800 Cheaper drugs now. 20 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,067 Make poverty history. 21 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,467 Cheaper drugs now. 22 00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:13,433 [laughs] 23 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:28,500 LILLIAN: My Brendan were a strapping lad as a youngster. 24 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,900 Arms like hams. 25 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,333 Shapely in the leg. 26 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,767 Had a look of a young John Nettles without the hair. 27 00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:38,467 Bergerac period, not Midsomer No, ta. 28 00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:41,700 Gone to seed by then. 29 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,267 Dream fella, Brendan. 30 00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:44,833 Knew he were one for me. 31 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:47,033 Took months to wear him down. 32 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,233 So handsome. 33 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:49,367 All girls wanted him. 34 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,433 NORMA: Fuck off, Worzel! 35 00:01:54,533 --> 00:01:56,333 Do you have to do that every night? 36 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:57,100 It's Lilian. 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,167 NORMA: Lilian? 38 00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:02,267 It's really late. 39 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:05,533 I've been clubbing, but I think there's a burst gas main. 40 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:06,667 Smell it? 41 00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:09,133 I was so certain we were meant to be together. 42 00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:10,700 He got bored arguing and gave in. 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,400 And we were largely happy apart from the affairs 44 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,933 and the drinking. 45 00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:17,467 [siren wailing] 46 00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:19,233 What the fuck? 47 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,100 There's only room for one great love in my life. 48 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,000 Clear the area. 49 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,367 Wake everyone. 50 00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:26,167 But there's plenty of time for a few small ones. 51 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:28,933 I bloody hope so anyway. 52 00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,267 I really miss me cock. 53 00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,367 FIREFIGHTER: Fire brigade! 54 00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:35,133 Fire brigade! 55 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:37,467 Fire brigade! 56 00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:40,133 Clot on the sofa's trying to light a fag, boss. 57 00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:41,633 Fire brigade! 58 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:44,633 Stand away! 59 00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:45,567 Coming through. 60 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:56,667 Think we found our burst main. 61 00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,533 [gas hissing] 62 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:04,733 Ribbons. 63 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:05,800 Blood. 64 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:06,767 My blood. 65 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:07,900 You all right, Dad? 66 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,100 Well, get a bucket. 67 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,600 I don't want to cause a mess while I 68 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,000 bleeding to fucking death. 69 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,067 Oh, chin up, love. 70 00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:15,900 Baby doesn't like blood. 71 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Oh, fucking hell. 72 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,033 It's Bo Selecta. 73 00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:19,167 I'm having a bad dream. 74 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,233 Should've let you suffocate. 75 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,200 FIREFIGHTER: John, upstairs. 76 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,133 Open some windows. 77 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,167 JOHN: Yes, boss. 78 00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:25,467 What's with the tassels? 79 00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:26,600 Doing a hen night. 80 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,400 Do you know how much we're paid? 81 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,767 Can I leave? 82 00:03:29,867 --> 00:03:32,067 Bleaten, I'm the one looking at the stairway to heaven here. 83 00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,433 FIREFIGHTER: We'll drop him at the hospital. 84 00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:35,733 Oh, all the ambulance is mobile 85 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,600 DJs are they this evening? 86 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,800 Come on. 87 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:39,967 Anyone going with him? 88 00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:41,367 Are you mad? 89 00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:42,633 They know him down at casualty better than we do. 90 00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:43,900 Oh, cheers, progeny. 91 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,167 Beloved spawn. 92 00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:51,600 So-called loved one. 93 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:54,367 Right, I'm off to my pit. 94 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,033 Mum's got Katie to give me a full night for a change. 95 00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,767 I won't be able to kip now. 96 00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:00,700 All those firemen. 97 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,600 Yeah. 98 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,767 Cliche, but I'd do 'em. 99 00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:09,100 [horn honking] 100 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,500 Pissed off without me again. 101 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:16,600 Does that happen a lot? 102 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:17,800 Assholes. 103 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,133 MANDY: Brew? 104 00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,233 Have you got anything stronger? 105 00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,433 With my dad in the house? 106 00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:22,667 No chance. 107 00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:25,433 Thought you'd be all don't drink on duty, ma'am. 108 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,433 Babies to save. 109 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,500 I'm not on duty. 110 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,167 We were passing, thought we'd check it out. 111 00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:32,133 You know, save the boys a trip. 112 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,833 You the couple of the house? 113 00:04:33,933 --> 00:04:35,833 - Not even close. - I'm single. 114 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:39,067 SEAN: What, brother and sister? 115 00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:40,333 I don't know why I even bother asking 116 00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:41,533 questions about families. 117 00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:42,467 They're all so-- 118 00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:43,600 Fucked. 119 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,633 Yeah. 120 00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:45,967 [laughing] 121 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:47,567 [horn honking] 122 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:51,300 Ah, they care after all. 123 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,600 You should have a smoke alarm with that old piss-pot living 124 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,500 here. 125 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,533 No offense. 126 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:57,133 None taken. 127 00:04:57,233 --> 00:04:59,467 MANDY: Want to come back and fit one for us? 128 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,400 Yeah, come and do that. 129 00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:04,900 Why not? 130 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 Tomorrow. 131 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:09,733 OK. 132 00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:10,867 Sean. 133 00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,733 Mandy. 134 00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:13,800 Ian. 135 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:14,700 All right. 136 00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:23,167 MANDY: Jesus, I'm so obvious. 137 00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:24,733 Well, just a bit. 138 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,133 Fit or what? 139 00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,333 He won't go for you, Mand. 140 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:28,533 There's a vote of confidence. 141 00:05:28,633 --> 00:05:29,967 No, he's bats for us. 142 00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:30,900 Piss off. 143 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:31,833 Him? 144 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,100 No way. 145 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,033 Tenner says I give him one before you do. 146 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:36,267 You think everyone's gay. 147 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,033 Can't you be different on your own? 148 00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,733 Money, mouth. 149 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:42,800 Bollocks. 150 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,167 Tenner. 151 00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:45,233 You better not win. 152 00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:46,333 I'm gagging for it. 153 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,600 One here. 154 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,133 One upstairs. 155 00:05:57,233 --> 00:06:00,867 All lethal, flammable booze hounds covered. 156 00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:03,500 I've got cake. 157 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,033 Ta. 158 00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,833 I've got a shift. 159 00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:10,033 Listen, fancy a drink? 160 00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,933 Shit. 161 00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:19,000 Bastard. 162 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,667 He's at work. 163 00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:21,567 The jockey. 164 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:33,300 Number of kids you had, you could pop 165 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,600 'em without touching the sides. 166 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,733 I mean, why bother? 167 00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:40,100 Because this little baba is going to be done proper 168 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,833 and I want his daddy there. 169 00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,633 But, he'll only nick all the drugs 170 00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:47,400 or start a ruck or summat. 171 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,867 I could be your birthing partner. 172 00:06:49,967 --> 00:06:51,533 Ask me. 173 00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:53,633 No, Frank is doing it. 174 00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:56,667 And he's coming to Antenatal to learn how to do it right. 175 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,433 Oh my god. 176 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:03,967 Stacy-Ann? 177 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:06,133 The Stacy-Ann? 178 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,200 She's a cabbage. 179 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,467 You can do well by her. 180 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,333 She's all right when you get to know her. 181 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:11,500 I do know her. 182 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,200 Suet dumpling. 183 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,233 Aidy Simpson said I should give her a go. 184 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,433 - That dick? - Trust me, man. 185 00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,800 She's well worth it. 186 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,933 Best ever. 187 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,000 Ever. 188 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,533 Hidden depths. 189 00:07:23,633 --> 00:07:25,900 He gets anyone he wants and she's his best ever. 190 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,533 As long as she doesn't smitten 191 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:28,900 Smitten? 192 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,067 When she says smitten, you gotta bail. 193 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,000 You got me? 194 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,200 Smitten, bail. 195 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,567 That is a pathetic reason to go out with someone. 196 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,467 My mate told me to. 197 00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:39,500 Why do you care? 198 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,700 Trapped in fucking circle circle. of shite. 199 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,833 That's Dad. 200 00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:44,933 What are you doing here? 201 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:46,867 Oh, abandoned. 202 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:47,800 Tossed out. 203 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,567 NHS rubbish. 204 00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:53,000 No sharps, medical wastes. 205 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,500 Beven would be turning in his grave. 206 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,733 Fucking bollocks. 207 00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:57,600 Same old, same old. 208 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,567 Trapped in a fucking circle. 209 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:00,833 Mum Is looking for you. 210 00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,367 A circle of shite. 211 00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:09,900 Tit's first. 212 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,367 [laughing] 213 00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:13,967 Mum and Dad. 214 00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,567 What's this? 215 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,000 Shagging our lass? 216 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,333 In me own gaff? 217 00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:19,767 I bet he's got the working equipment. 218 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,700 Unlike some. 219 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,167 Piss off. 220 00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:24,800 Last time I saw to you, you couldn't walk for a week. 221 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,167 That were a shock. 222 00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:27,067 All right, mate. 223 00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:29,333 It's Carl, isn't it? 224 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:30,800 Don't mind me and the missus, mate. 225 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,767 If she could give a decent hum job, she'd be a diamond. 226 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:34,000 WOMAN: Stay for a bit of tea, Carl? 227 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:34,733 You don't have to. 228 00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:35,900 Shut up, you. 229 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,033 We like to Get to know your friends. 230 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:38,333 What you say, Carly? 231 00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:39,933 Pork chops and mint tarts? 232 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:40,933 Ta. 233 00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,500 You can call me Teresa, love. 234 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,867 The pig's Dave. 235 00:08:44,967 --> 00:08:46,667 Look at the arse on that, eh? 236 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,233 Not bad for an old bird. 237 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,400 Bag of pear drops and a penny chew, please, mister. 238 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:02,967 I need a piss. 239 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,367 Beer pourer barman. 240 00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:07,667 Toucher of old men's cocks, rent boy. 241 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:08,967 Do you see the difference? 242 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,633 Seems to know a lot about it. 243 00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:14,167 While we're on old people, shouldn't we ban that? 244 00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:16,067 That's her new fella. 245 00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,600 Jeff works in finance. 246 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,000 Hiya, Fireman Sean. 247 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,400 Didn't recognize you with your kicks off. 248 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,467 Well, same problem for me, gas victim. 249 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,267 So, coincidence? 250 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,733 No, I've just been fitting you smoke alarm 251 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,000 and Mandy said that, um. 252 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,633 I had a bet on with her. 253 00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:37,533 Let me guess. 254 00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,167 Buy us a pint with your winnings. 255 00:09:42,267 --> 00:09:43,533 I get off in 10 minutes. 256 00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:46,033 Yeah? 257 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,067 I've got a room. 258 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,533 You a bit of a slag, Ian? 259 00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,333 Too right. 260 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:51,833 You a bit of a prude, Sean? 261 00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,500 Only to slags. 262 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,400 So, what? 263 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,167 Six months courting, meet the parents, 264 00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:00,033 find out my intentions? 265 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,767 Something like that. 266 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,900 Get us a pint. 267 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,567 Driving us then? 268 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:07,500 Where to? 269 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,733 Trampolining I said. 270 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,033 Right. 271 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,400 Do you want dropping anywhere, Carl? 272 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,200 Yeah, ta. 273 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,767 There's a spare chop here. 274 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:20,267 No need to hurry away. 275 00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,300 Well, you can't have it. 276 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,467 Not with that great hanging gut. 277 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,200 Right. 278 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,767 See you later then. 279 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,933 Do you know what? 280 00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:40,267 I believe I've miscounted. 281 00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:42,000 There isn't another chop. 282 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,967 I'll see if I can catch up then. 283 00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:48,667 Have you had your portion, Carly? 284 00:10:48,767 --> 00:10:51,800 I'm not sure I have. 285 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,300 Perhaps I should suck on your bone. 286 00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:57,233 If you want. 287 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,767 End of my shift. 288 00:11:14,867 --> 00:11:16,333 I don't shag strangers. 289 00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:19,933 Why don't you try something new? 290 00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:22,667 All right. Why not? 291 00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:23,633 [pager beeping] 292 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:24,600 Shit. 293 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,967 IAN: What? 294 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,533 Emergency pager. 295 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,433 [pager beeping] 296 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,733 It will just be a kid with his head stuck in some railings. 297 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:50,033 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 298 00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:52,433 Easy, tiger. 299 00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:55,400 [subdued music] 300 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:19,133 [moaning] 301 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,500 Oh, yes! 302 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,567 Oh, yes! 303 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:24,467 Oh! 304 00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:25,700 Oh, yes! 305 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,233 Listen, all you have to do is be there and bring 306 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:31,567 me some flowers or something. 307 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,333 I know me limitations. 308 00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:36,600 All I'm saying is just be there and hold me hand 309 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:40,400 and say welcome to the world, little baby. 310 00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,967 I didn't want to say, and I know 311 00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:43,200 you don't like me mentioning this, 312 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:48,133 but it's them little twins. 313 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:50,733 I was there at the birth and it was like the fucking 314 00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:51,867 Battle of the Somme. 315 00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:53,400 I couldn't go through that again. 316 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,567 Right. 317 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:59,033 So, you did for her, but you won't do it for me. 318 00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:01,500 Look, it's not. 319 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:08,067 It's not just the horror, it's the memories. 320 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:11,400 It's all I've got left of Gordon and Delia. 321 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,633 I mean, you can give me that, can't you? 322 00:13:13,733 --> 00:13:17,333 It tears me heart out every time I think of them. 323 00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,033 Go on, you, more than anyone. 324 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:23,833 You know what it's like not to be with you kiddies. 325 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:27,133 Nigel and Delia. 326 00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:29,433 It's Nigel and Delia, not Gordon. 327 00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:31,000 Oh, piss off. 328 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,500 How many of you are there? 329 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,167 Well, I'm bound to get the odd name wrong, aren't I? 330 00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,633 What am I a census? 331 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,133 You are coming. 332 00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:40,200 Look, I just-- 333 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,533 Fucking little thingy in the nest, you are. 334 00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:48,933 Fuck you. 335 00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:51,967 If I'd fathered you, I'd tear me own balls off. 336 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:53,567 If you fathered me, I'd help. 337 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:59,267 You should've got a chair years ago. 338 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:03,567 Suits you never having to get off your ass. 339 00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,633 Abused, slashed. 340 00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:07,200 Why do I come in here? 341 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,200 Because we serve beer and we haven't barred you this week. 342 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,767 You've been getting some, haven't you? 343 00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:15,700 Why do you say that? 344 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,167 I can tell. 345 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:20,067 Get all smug-looking and shit. 346 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,133 Cheers, Mickey. 347 00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:22,600 Glad you're so pleased for us. 348 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,667 It's true then? 349 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:25,667 Maybe. 350 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,100 Oh, sorry, mate. 351 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,033 Out my fucking space, man. 352 00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,333 Touching me. 353 00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:31,633 What are you, some kind of fucking queer boy? 354 00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:34,133 Shane, I'm sorry I accidentally touched you. 355 00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,100 It's all right. 356 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,033 Don't do that. 357 00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:41,633 What you gonna fucking do about-- 358 00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:42,567 It's all right! 359 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:43,467 It's all right! 360 00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:44,867 I know him. 361 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,067 There's no need, yeah? 362 00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,033 There's no need, yeah? 363 00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:47,967 It's only Shane. 364 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,300 You know what he's like. 365 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,967 Come on. 366 00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:57,333 [groaning] 367 00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,133 He well deserved that. 368 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:05,767 He's a prick and a half. 369 00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:06,767 I prick, too. 370 00:15:06,867 --> 00:15:08,733 It was hot. 371 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,467 I wasn't expecting you to-- 372 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:14,933 We've done it your way. 373 00:15:15,033 --> 00:15:16,333 Let's try mine. 374 00:15:16,433 --> 00:15:19,733 How about I take you away from all this? 375 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:20,667 What? 376 00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:22,033 Take me where? 377 00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,167 There's only one way to find out, isn't there? 378 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:29,633 Are you coming? 379 00:15:35,867 --> 00:15:37,800 Is that where you chuck a ribbon in the air and dance 380 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,600 about on a mat? 381 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,567 Or a ball. 382 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,000 What? 383 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,000 Chuck a ball in the air, too. 384 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,167 Where? 385 00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,667 Rhythmic gymnastics. 386 00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,933 You were asking. 387 00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:53,833 Oh, yeah. 388 00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:57,633 Great 389 00:15:57,733 --> 00:16:00,500 Ah, the love birds. 390 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,767 Cooing and billing. 391 00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,300 Nice. 392 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,567 You off for physical jerks, madam? 393 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:08,500 Exercise she does and she still thinks she's got her hymen. 394 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,467 Mum. Getting me kit. 395 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:12,800 What a waste when she's got this one. 396 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:16,300 Do you remember when you were a bit of a specimen, Dave? 397 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,600 This morning, weren't it? 398 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,333 You wish. 399 00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:22,700 Drop you anywhere, Carl? 400 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,967 I'm fine, thanks. 401 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,033 Dad. 402 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:36,433 Don't know anything, does he? 403 00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,000 Course he doesn't. 404 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,733 He wouldn't care anyway. 405 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,667 You sure? 406 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,400 Of course I am. 407 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,000 Trousers off. 408 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,533 [uptempo music] 409 00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:50,600 [moaning] 410 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:51,500 Yes. 411 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:57,600 Don't. 412 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:58,600 Argh! 413 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,867 No, it's not for me, that one. 414 00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:02,767 [moaning] 415 00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:05,667 Yes! 416 00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,133 [panting] 417 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,467 This is Jeff. 418 00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:11,767 Works in finance. 419 00:17:11,867 --> 00:17:13,500 That right? 420 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,300 Don't expect to get anyone at my age, 421 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,700 never mind someone with a proper job. 422 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,400 KAREN: So how did you meet? 423 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:23,133 - Slow dating. - What's that? 424 00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:25,100 Speed dating for pensioners. 425 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,800 Do you watch Corrie? 426 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:28,733 Do you watch Corrie? 427 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:34,033 Do you watch Corrie? 428 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,633 I sometimes watch Emmerdale. 429 00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:37,533 Fuck it. 430 00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,867 That'll have to do. 431 00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:42,000 We've been inseparable ever since. 432 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,400 So, what exactly do you do in finance, Jeff? 433 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,900 Security. 434 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,567 Very responsible. 435 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:52,867 KAREN: Pushbike squad. 436 00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:54,033 [laughing] 437 00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,067 Mountain bike patrol. 438 00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:57,400 It's not a demotion. 439 00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:58,700 They're better for getting around the estates. 440 00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,767 How can we help? 441 00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:00,967 PATROLMAN: Frank been in? 442 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,233 It's a day of the week, isn't it? 443 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,767 - We're gunning for him. - He knows why, too. 444 00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:06,333 So where are your bikes? 445 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,933 Outside. 446 00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:09,033 Outside here? 447 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,167 [people laughing] 448 00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,633 Police are looking for you. 449 00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:16,533 What? 450 00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:21,733 This is what happens when you live life on the margins. 451 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,100 Society releases its pit bulls. 452 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,567 Been robbing charity boxes again, have we? 453 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:27,500 Fuck off. 454 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,933 CARL: Where have you been? 455 00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:36,167 Bridlington. 456 00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:37,633 Gay capital of Yorkshire. 457 00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:38,567 Yeah? 458 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:39,833 Got taken away. 459 00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,200 Hotel and everything. 460 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,900 CARL: What's with the bag? 461 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,200 Gonna be at The Jockey for a bit. 462 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,533 What? 463 00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:53,067 You know gays are, like, famous for casual sex and that? 464 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:54,667 Go on, surprise me. 465 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,067 Is that all there is? 466 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,600 I mean, you go out with someone and it's all right, 467 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:04,000 but you want to shag the friend and you like them, but. 468 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,733 I mean, is it all right to have sex 469 00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:09,467 with someone that you don't even like if it's really good sex? 470 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,033 And they can cook. 471 00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,133 Or does that not matter? 472 00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:16,000 Listen, are you shagging her mum? 473 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,467 How'd you guess? 474 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,967 Hey, were ticking a list. 475 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:32,167 Sex, travel, food. 476 00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:33,267 Peanut butter's rank. 477 00:19:33,367 --> 00:19:34,000 Cheers. 478 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,133 What's next? 479 00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:37,067 Meeting mates? 480 00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:38,067 Meeting family. 481 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,767 No chance. 482 00:19:39,867 --> 00:19:41,367 I wouldn't inflict mine on anyone. 483 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:42,767 Honestly. 484 00:19:42,867 --> 00:19:46,533 That's stiff for someone who stayed in a hotel with someone. 485 00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,967 God, you really young and naive, aren't you? 486 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,767 You think that was a hotel? 487 00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:54,767 Barely even made it to guest house. 488 00:19:54,867 --> 00:19:55,667 Why'd you take me there? 489 00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:56,600 Am I a cheap date? 490 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:57,600 No, it's gay friendly. 491 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,767 How? 492 00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:00,567 The woman serving there had a tache. 493 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,500 [laughing] 494 00:20:03,933 --> 00:20:05,967 Oh, peanut butter. 495 00:20:06,067 --> 00:20:06,900 Fucking hell. 496 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,733 It's nasty. 497 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:11,300 [uptempo music] 498 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,667 Gallagher! 499 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:17,667 Come here! 500 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:18,600 Frank! 501 00:20:22,167 --> 00:20:24,633 Frank, can you stop? 502 00:20:24,733 --> 00:20:26,033 Frank, come here! 503 00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:29,000 Gallagher! 504 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,300 You should be ashamed of yourself. 505 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,567 Oh, spare me the fucking lecture. 506 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,267 Hospital property, Francis. 507 00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,733 You're lucky It was us that saw the CCTV. 508 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:42,867 Anyone else you'd be on a charge. 509 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,700 They're not superficial, you know. 510 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,600 They hurt. 511 00:20:50,033 --> 00:20:52,867 So, you stole a wheelchair to try and get out 512 00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:56,467 of going to antenatal classes. 513 00:20:56,567 --> 00:20:58,533 Yes. 514 00:20:58,633 --> 00:20:59,467 Tosser. 515 00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:07,300 [the cure,"friday i'm in love"] 516 00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:12,800 You remember Sean, don't you? 517 00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:14,700 The Shane nutter. Yeah, we've met. 518 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,500 Hey, I'm really sorry about that. 519 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,900 IAN: Well, Sean's probably going to be around for a bit, 520 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,867 if he plays his cards right. 521 00:21:21,967 --> 00:21:22,767 BARTENDER: Howdy Doody. 522 00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:26,800 Yeah. 523 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:27,700 You off out? 524 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:28,967 Yep 525 00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,433 Hey, couldn't give us a hand, could you? 526 00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:32,833 Yeah. 527 00:21:32,933 --> 00:21:34,600 Can't we even have a family drink 528 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:35,900 without you going off on one? 529 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,400 It's not my fault you can't get it up anymore. 530 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,600 DAVE: I didn't hear you complaining this morning. 531 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,700 SEAN: Yeah, what did you want? 532 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,033 I can't talk now. 533 00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,133 Yeah, I'll be there. 534 00:21:48,233 --> 00:21:50,000 Ive got to go. 535 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,333 What's up? 536 00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:52,733 Nothing. 537 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:55,800 Just a crisis at work. 538 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,067 I'll see ya. 539 00:21:57,167 --> 00:21:58,167 I'm sorry. 540 00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:04,533 What's all that about? 541 00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:05,867 Don't know. 542 00:22:05,967 --> 00:22:10,900 Don't think he was, if he plays his cards right, do you? 543 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,267 I'm such a dick. 544 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,067 Teresa, we can't. 545 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:28,133 Scared of showing your cock, Carl? 546 00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,467 Eh, no. 547 00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:34,567 Bit of a bad pint. 548 00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:36,600 You were drinking Coke. 549 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,900 I'm having a shit, Dave. 550 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,367 [tense music] 551 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:52,700 Jeez, Teresa. 552 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,167 It's too close for me. 553 00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:56,067 I can't help myself, love. 554 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:57,900 I'm smitten. 555 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,267 Smitten, bail. 556 00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:03,733 You've really touched me and I don't just mean the sex. 557 00:23:07,667 --> 00:23:09,700 I hate hurting Dave. 558 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,400 I hate it. 559 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:15,800 But what can I do? 560 00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:18,100 Do you feel the same way, Carl? 561 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,767 Say you do. 562 00:23:19,867 --> 00:23:22,767 Yeah, course I do. 563 00:23:22,867 --> 00:23:25,067 This is big time now. 564 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:29,433 But if you want to stop, you say the word. 565 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,000 Can I rely on you? 566 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:32,600 Yeah, of course you can. 567 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:39,400 [zipper unzips] 568 00:23:41,867 --> 00:23:43,900 SEAN: Ian. 569 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,167 Hey, wait up. 570 00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,633 Weren't sure I'd see you again. 571 00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:52,367 Why? 572 00:23:52,467 --> 00:23:53,600 Your excuse. 573 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:54,833 Your work crisis. 574 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:57,967 There wasn't one, was there? - Hey, hey. 575 00:23:58,067 --> 00:24:01,000 It was a crisis. Just not work. 576 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:04,600 It was my brother. 577 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:08,200 It was just too boring to tell you the truth. 578 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:12,033 I thought I messed up coming across all Mr. Cocky Bollocks 579 00:24:12,133 --> 00:24:13,700 in front of Jamie and Karen. 580 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,833 Of course you didn't. 581 00:24:15,933 --> 00:24:20,033 Look, if you say something that pisses me off, I'll tell you. 582 00:24:20,133 --> 00:24:21,967 I promise. 583 00:24:22,067 --> 00:24:23,167 You do the same for me. 584 00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:30,267 Where you off? 585 00:24:30,367 --> 00:24:32,667 IAN: I was going home. 586 00:24:32,767 --> 00:24:34,633 Do you fancy a visitor? 587 00:24:34,733 --> 00:24:36,400 Everyone's in. 588 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:37,767 And? 589 00:24:37,867 --> 00:24:39,900 You really want to meet the fuckers? 590 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:40,800 Yeah. 591 00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:44,067 All right, come on. 592 00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:45,133 Come on. 593 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,500 Hiya, love. 594 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:54,467 Give us a kiss. 595 00:24:54,567 --> 00:24:55,233 I can't. 596 00:24:55,333 --> 00:24:56,367 We're on a wages run. 597 00:24:56,467 --> 00:24:57,700 Don't be daft. 598 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,067 You can stop long enough to give your girlfriend a kiss, 599 00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:00,000 can't you? 600 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,733 Oh, two seconds, Bradley. 601 00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:03,700 Come here. 602 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,533 What? 603 00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:09,500 Did you do this? 604 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,467 No, I didn't. 605 00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:11,833 You're an inside woman. 606 00:25:11,933 --> 00:25:12,833 It's a setup! 607 00:25:12,933 --> 00:25:14,833 I didn't, Jeff. 608 00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:16,000 Don't hate me. 609 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,033 JEFF: No, no! 610 00:25:20,133 --> 00:25:22,700 [jeff grunting] 611 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,133 I was going to the chemist Condom run for the girls. 612 00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,633 Don't tell us that. 613 00:25:27,733 --> 00:25:29,067 It's the truth. 614 00:25:29,167 --> 00:25:30,500 Let's not complicate the armed robbery with living 615 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:31,467 off of immoral earnings. 616 00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:32,900 You'll get 15 years. 617 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:33,800 In prison? 618 00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:34,967 Come on. 619 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:36,800 No one thinks Lillian was involved. 620 00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:37,967 Judas. 621 00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:38,967 Judas! 622 00:25:39,067 --> 00:25:41,667 Does that mean we're finished? 623 00:25:41,767 --> 00:25:43,067 Judas. 624 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,767 I think he really meant it. 625 00:25:44,867 --> 00:25:45,700 I've been dumped. 626 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,700 So, you don't care that I'm scared? 627 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,100 What about me? 628 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,667 There's no point in us both cracking in, is there? 629 00:26:04,767 --> 00:26:06,833 Come on, we're fucking useless. 630 00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:08,233 We both know it. 631 00:26:14,633 --> 00:26:16,500 I know. 632 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,433 I'll do you a swap. 633 00:26:18,533 --> 00:26:22,200 You come to the birth, and I will get the doctor to put 634 00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:25,600 in an extra stitch downstairs. 635 00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:26,533 Honeymoon fresh. 636 00:26:30,967 --> 00:26:34,767 Make it two and you got yourself a deal. 637 00:26:34,867 --> 00:26:36,333 Tinker. 638 00:26:36,433 --> 00:26:38,733 [phone ringing] 639 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:44,733 Monica Gallagher. 640 00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:46,233 Oi. 641 00:26:46,333 --> 00:26:48,533 Just realized what you look like with those bandages on. 642 00:26:48,633 --> 00:26:51,900 Oh surprise and delight me with your acute observation. 643 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,333 The Mummy. 644 00:26:53,433 --> 00:26:55,800 [laughing] 645 00:26:55,900 --> 00:26:57,233 Everyone's a comedian. 646 00:27:05,133 --> 00:27:07,933 Gary Bennett's died. 647 00:27:08,033 --> 00:27:08,867 What, the impressionist? 648 00:27:08,967 --> 00:27:12,533 No, Ian's real dad. 649 00:27:12,633 --> 00:27:13,567 Oh. 650 00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:14,500 Good. 651 00:27:23,067 --> 00:27:24,033 This is Sean. 652 00:27:27,333 --> 00:27:28,000 Hello. 653 00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:29,100 All right? 654 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,367 It's official then? 655 00:27:30,467 --> 00:27:31,300 You two an item? 656 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,400 Yeah, laugh once and get over it. 657 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:35,033 [laughs] 658 00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:36,567 Bastards. 659 00:27:36,667 --> 00:27:38,233 Sean, I've got some photos of Ian from when he was a baby. 660 00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:39,800 Do you want to see? 661 00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:41,033 CARL: Should've said you were bringing a new friend around, 662 00:27:41,133 --> 00:27:41,800 I would've hoovered. 663 00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:42,733 Yeah, all right. 664 00:27:42,833 --> 00:27:45,600 [knocking on door] 665 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:46,600 Do you wanna sit down, Sean? 666 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:48,600 Ta. 667 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:50,000 Are you Liam? 668 00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:52,733 I hear you've got a healthy interest in fire. 669 00:27:52,833 --> 00:27:53,933 I've grown out of that. 670 00:27:54,033 --> 00:27:56,367 Oh, all right. 671 00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:58,167 You won't want to ride in the engine, then? 672 00:27:58,267 --> 00:27:59,867 No, I want that. 673 00:27:59,967 --> 00:28:02,567 I really want that. 674 00:28:02,667 --> 00:28:03,500 For you, Carl. 675 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,600 Who is it? 676 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:05,533 Quick, mind. 677 00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:16,133 I've left him, Carl. 678 00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:20,900 I finally left him for real this time. 679 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,567 And I've told him everything. 680 00:28:22,667 --> 00:28:23,833 Everything. 681 00:28:23,933 --> 00:28:26,800 [crying] 682 00:28:34,033 --> 00:28:35,600 I'm free, Carl. 683 00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:36,767 I'm free. 684 00:28:36,867 --> 00:28:38,567 This is the real Teresa. 685 00:28:38,667 --> 00:28:40,433 I just bombed out the house. 686 00:28:40,533 --> 00:28:41,467 What did Dave say? 687 00:28:41,567 --> 00:28:42,967 Terrible things. 688 00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,733 Oh, some threats. 689 00:28:44,833 --> 00:28:47,633 He's a horrible cruel man. 690 00:28:47,733 --> 00:28:49,700 I blame Strangeways. 691 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,167 Brutalized him. 692 00:28:51,267 --> 00:28:52,733 Why was he there? 693 00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:54,900 GBH with menaces. 694 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,567 Six years. 695 00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:58,733 Very harsh. 696 00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:02,133 Fella's still got his other eye. 697 00:29:02,233 --> 00:29:03,133 Just hold me, Carl. 698 00:29:03,233 --> 00:29:04,400 Just hold me. 699 00:29:06,833 --> 00:29:10,833 When I say just hold me, I didn't mean just hold me. 700 00:29:10,933 --> 00:29:13,667 Do me, Carl. 701 00:29:13,767 --> 00:29:14,567 What? 702 00:29:14,667 --> 00:29:16,467 What is it? 703 00:29:16,567 --> 00:29:17,400 I can't. 704 00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:18,133 Not here. 705 00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:19,200 Don't be scared, love. 706 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:20,500 You've seen the belly on him. 707 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,800 You can outrun that porker until Christmas. 708 00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:23,800 I'll get us a little shag pad. 709 00:29:23,900 --> 00:29:24,733 Yeah? 710 00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:25,633 Yeah. 711 00:29:25,733 --> 00:29:27,867 Then we can be together 712 00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:29,100 What? 713 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:34,133 You're not gonna let me down, are you? 714 00:29:34,233 --> 00:29:36,433 Just going to get a cup of-- 715 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,500 Jesus. 716 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,100 In case you wondered, you're dumped. 717 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,667 I'm sorry. 718 00:29:50,767 --> 00:29:53,167 My dad's gonna tear your dick off and shove it in your mouth. 719 00:29:53,267 --> 00:29:54,667 Thought you liked me. 720 00:29:54,767 --> 00:29:56,267 Taking advantage of me like that. 721 00:29:56,367 --> 00:29:57,167 Scum. 722 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:03,767 That's what you got to do. 723 00:30:03,867 --> 00:30:04,733 What? 724 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:05,933 Dump the geriatric weirdo. 725 00:30:06,033 --> 00:30:08,067 - It's not that easy. - Yeah, it is. 726 00:30:08,167 --> 00:30:10,200 Just tell her that she's a dirty old perv. 727 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,700 She shouldn't have gone anywhere near you. 728 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:12,733 Chuck her. - How? 729 00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:14,533 Just go up and tell her now. 730 00:30:20,633 --> 00:30:22,333 Is it always like this? 731 00:30:22,433 --> 00:30:23,200 Pretty much. 732 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:24,533 I'll kill myself. 733 00:30:24,633 --> 00:30:26,600 I'll throw myself under a bin lorry. 734 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:27,700 I'll swig weed killer. 735 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,500 I am not gonna lose you. 736 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,433 No. 737 00:30:30,533 --> 00:30:33,067 No, stop it. 738 00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,533 I wasn't gonna chuck ya. 739 00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:35,467 I wasn't. 740 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:37,467 Honest. 741 00:30:37,567 --> 00:30:44,567 I was going to suggest someone who might have a flat for us. 742 00:30:44,667 --> 00:30:48,467 You sweet, sweet boy. 743 00:30:48,567 --> 00:30:51,067 [crying] 744 00:30:52,433 --> 00:30:55,600 I'll stay at my sister's for now. 745 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:58,800 Walk me there. 746 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,733 [slow guitar music] 747 00:31:20,233 --> 00:31:21,067 See you later. 748 00:31:21,167 --> 00:31:24,033 IAN: See you later. 749 00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:25,533 Could you stop smiling? 750 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:28,000 You're making me puke. 751 00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:30,067 You must have a fit straight friend I could do. 752 00:31:30,167 --> 00:31:32,400 I'm too busy shagging to meet friends. 753 00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:33,600 Shame. 754 00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:34,800 I remember that. 755 00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:37,600 It's like a distant memory Think it's 756 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:40,133 time I got back on the bike. 757 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,267 You look good together. 758 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:43,567 Piss off. 759 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,600 I mean it. 760 00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:46,633 Not as good as I'd look with him, but. 761 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,767 Debbie, have you got anything black that would fit me? 762 00:31:54,867 --> 00:31:56,167 Uh, no. 763 00:31:56,267 --> 00:31:57,700 Why don't you try Norma? 764 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,733 Can hardly wear one of her T-shirts to a funeral. 765 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:02,100 Who's died? 766 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,400 Oh, sorry, love. 767 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,533 It's your dad. 768 00:32:08,633 --> 00:32:10,100 Dad? 769 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,600 Not that dad. 770 00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:15,200 Ian's dad Gary. 771 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:16,967 Shit. 772 00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:20,533 You didn't know him though, did you? 773 00:32:20,633 --> 00:32:25,067 Oh, I didn't actually know you knew who he was. 774 00:32:25,167 --> 00:32:27,967 It was a chat I've been meaning to have together. 775 00:32:28,067 --> 00:32:30,800 I'm not going to get a chance to know him now. 776 00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:32,233 Do you go to the funeral of everyone 777 00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:33,967 that you've slept with? 778 00:32:34,067 --> 00:32:35,900 Debbie, that would be absurd. 779 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,133 No, I gave him a clock and I want it back. 780 00:32:39,233 --> 00:32:41,100 It were me Gran's. 781 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,300 I always liked it. 782 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,767 Probably worth enough to put up with the names from his wife. 783 00:32:45,867 --> 00:32:46,733 Do you want to come? 784 00:32:58,167 --> 00:32:59,067 See this? 785 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:01,633 You want to take a wild guess? 786 00:33:01,733 --> 00:33:03,633 I'll see to you, Carl! 787 00:33:03,733 --> 00:33:05,600 You're as good as dead! 788 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:09,600 As good as fucking dead! 789 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:12,733 There's your dead dad. 790 00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:15,167 Not much of a turnout, is it? 791 00:33:15,267 --> 00:33:16,467 That's alcoholics for you. 792 00:33:19,067 --> 00:33:19,967 Biggish family, mind. 793 00:33:20,067 --> 00:33:21,133 Ian: Yeah. 794 00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:22,867 MONICA: Nothing compared to us, though. 795 00:33:22,967 --> 00:33:25,200 Just four lads with that blonde bitch. 796 00:33:25,300 --> 00:33:26,533 Panda eyes over there. 797 00:33:30,933 --> 00:33:32,333 Those four? 798 00:33:32,433 --> 00:33:34,700 MONICA: Yeah, but you'd have to be related to touch her. 799 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:40,667 What is it? 800 00:33:40,767 --> 00:33:42,800 - Can't stay. - But me clock. 801 00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:43,733 Now. 802 00:33:43,833 --> 00:33:44,633 Oh, Ian. 803 00:33:49,267 --> 00:33:51,033 Carl: What a fucking mess. 804 00:33:51,133 --> 00:33:52,167 Too right. 805 00:33:52,267 --> 00:33:53,833 What's up with you? 806 00:33:53,933 --> 00:33:55,567 [knocking on door] 807 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:56,500 It's her. 808 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,067 Don't answer. 809 00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:00,567 Don't answer. 810 00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:01,967 SEAN: Ian? 811 00:34:02,067 --> 00:34:03,000 Ian, it's Sean. 812 00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:05,467 Don't answer. 813 00:34:05,567 --> 00:34:06,833 First row? 814 00:34:06,933 --> 00:34:08,100 SEAN: Sean, come on. 815 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,533 [knocking on door] 816 00:34:10,633 --> 00:34:11,500 Should I get that one? 817 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:12,267 No. 818 00:34:12,367 --> 00:34:14,433 TERESA: Carl? Carl? 819 00:34:14,533 --> 00:34:15,800 It's me. 820 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:17,500 I've got to speak to you, love. 821 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,433 I've got to. 822 00:34:18,533 --> 00:34:20,300 SEAN: Ian, I need to talk to you. 823 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,433 TERESA: I'll see you later, love. 824 00:34:22,533 --> 00:34:23,767 SEAN: Fucks sake. 825 00:34:23,867 --> 00:34:26,700 I'm guessing you haven't slept with your boyfriend's dad. 826 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,467 Much worse that that, mate. 827 00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:30,367 You've been a twat and now you're paying for it. 828 00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:31,533 Lesson learned. 829 00:34:31,633 --> 00:34:33,333 Not many free fucks about, are there? 830 00:34:33,433 --> 00:34:34,233 Up yours. 831 00:34:38,700 --> 00:34:39,500 Don't. 832 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,033 He's gone. 833 00:34:42,133 --> 00:34:44,200 It'll work itself out. 834 00:34:44,300 --> 00:34:45,800 Bound to be a tiff when you're starting out. 835 00:34:52,733 --> 00:34:53,800 A tiff? 836 00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:55,133 That's what you fucking think, is it? 837 00:34:55,233 --> 00:34:57,633 Do you not think I'm a real fucking person? 838 00:34:57,733 --> 00:35:01,533 Don't think it matters because it's two blokes. 839 00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:03,433 Cause it's-- 840 00:35:04,867 --> 00:35:07,600 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 841 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:08,533 Sorry? 842 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,467 [door slams] 843 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:21,767 All right? 844 00:35:21,867 --> 00:35:23,733 Yeah. 845 00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:25,567 Heard about your old fella. 846 00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:31,167 Well, you're better off with me, son. 847 00:35:31,267 --> 00:35:33,967 'Cause from what I hear was a hopeless piss-pot. 848 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:35,133 Yeah, and you're quite good at it. 849 00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:37,033 That I am, son. 850 00:35:37,133 --> 00:35:38,633 That I am. 851 00:35:41,867 --> 00:35:42,700 SEAN: What's going on? 852 00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:53,600 Kids get to a certain age, you'd rather 853 00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:55,400 not know what they're up to. 854 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:57,100 I'll say. 855 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,733 About two weeks old for me. 856 00:36:07,867 --> 00:36:08,700 Your dad. 857 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,900 It was your dad who died. 858 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:10,833 Gary. 859 00:36:10,933 --> 00:36:12,833 How did you know? 860 00:36:12,933 --> 00:36:15,633 Why didn't you stay? 861 00:36:15,733 --> 00:36:16,533 What? 862 00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:20,600 Old mate of my mum's. 863 00:36:20,700 --> 00:36:21,867 I were keeping her company. 864 00:36:21,967 --> 00:36:25,433 I, I didn't know it were your. 865 00:36:25,533 --> 00:36:26,567 I saw you. 866 00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:29,800 I thought you'd think I was some stalker weirdo. 867 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:32,067 It was really nice to see you. 868 00:36:32,167 --> 00:36:33,333 It meant a lot. 869 00:36:33,433 --> 00:36:37,300 Why didn't you tell me your dad had died? 870 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,400 Oh, he's-- 871 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:42,133 Well, he'd been ill for a while, you know. 872 00:36:42,233 --> 00:36:45,500 I got the call here. You know, the crisis? 873 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,633 It wasn't my brother, it was him. 874 00:36:48,733 --> 00:36:50,567 I don't know, it just seemed a turn off, you know? 875 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:54,767 We'd only just met and it was all going-- 876 00:36:54,867 --> 00:36:56,400 I didn't even like him. 877 00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:57,233 He was a joke. 878 00:36:57,333 --> 00:37:02,433 A drunk, cruel, absolute loser. 879 00:37:06,067 --> 00:37:07,000 I don't know. 880 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,567 But your dad's your dad. 881 00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:13,367 Hey. 882 00:37:13,467 --> 00:37:15,467 Hey, I'm the one who should be upset. 883 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:16,800 You're looking after me? 884 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,033 Yeah. 885 00:37:18,133 --> 00:37:19,100 Come here. 886 00:37:46,233 --> 00:37:48,133 All right, speak to the bloke. 887 00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:49,733 Tell him to take her back. 888 00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,033 Very sorry, big mistake. 889 00:37:51,133 --> 00:37:52,200 Won't happen again. 890 00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:53,300 All that bollocks. 891 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,200 He's going to cut my balls off. 892 00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:57,033 Well, meet him somewhere public then. 893 00:37:57,133 --> 00:37:58,000 The Jockey. 894 00:37:58,100 --> 00:37:59,367 What's he gonna do in there? 895 00:38:01,967 --> 00:38:02,767 CARL: Shit. 896 00:38:11,433 --> 00:38:12,300 He's not here. 897 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:13,633 He works at Help the Aged. 898 00:38:13,733 --> 00:38:14,867 You should try him there. 899 00:38:14,967 --> 00:38:16,400 Very funny. 900 00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:19,500 Some day you will know our love is real. 901 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,500 I will find him. 902 00:38:27,533 --> 00:38:29,800 [slow piano music] 903 00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:49,633 Where's the fire? 904 00:38:49,733 --> 00:38:50,567 Thanks. 905 00:38:50,667 --> 00:38:52,167 Me dad and that. 906 00:38:52,267 --> 00:38:53,600 It's important having someone. 907 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:57,700 I haven't done anything. 908 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,833 Having someone there for me. 909 00:38:59,933 --> 00:39:03,567 You're not just great sex, Ian. 910 00:39:03,667 --> 00:39:04,500 I love you. 911 00:39:10,933 --> 00:39:12,033 I don't love you. 912 00:39:16,100 --> 00:39:17,867 That's all right. 913 00:39:17,967 --> 00:39:20,833 I'm emotional. 914 00:39:20,933 --> 00:39:23,167 Blabbermouth. 915 00:39:23,267 --> 00:39:26,667 I don't want to carry on seeing you. 916 00:39:26,767 --> 00:39:27,967 What? 917 00:39:28,067 --> 00:39:29,133 What, you're chucking me? 918 00:39:31,700 --> 00:39:35,100 My dad's just died. 919 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,100 I don't believe you. 920 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,867 You're not that fucking cruel. 921 00:39:38,967 --> 00:39:39,767 We're getting on. 922 00:39:39,867 --> 00:39:40,700 We're solid. 923 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,600 I know we are. 924 00:39:43,700 --> 00:39:44,633 What is it? 925 00:39:44,733 --> 00:39:46,800 There's something else? 926 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:48,067 No. 927 00:39:48,167 --> 00:39:50,000 Yes, there is. 928 00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:50,900 What is it, Ian? 929 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,467 Tell me. 930 00:39:52,567 --> 00:39:53,267 Look, we agreed. 931 00:39:53,367 --> 00:39:54,600 If I pissed you off-- 932 00:39:59,833 --> 00:40:06,600 My mum, Monica Gallagher. 933 00:40:06,700 --> 00:40:09,267 She wasn't an old mate of your dad's. 934 00:40:09,367 --> 00:40:13,767 She got pregnant by him. We're brothers. 935 00:40:16,833 --> 00:40:17,733 Fuck off. 936 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,600 What about the waste, Frank? 937 00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,900 He's my dad. 938 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,700 But my real dad was Gary. 939 00:40:51,333 --> 00:40:57,667 Look, I know that this hasn't worked out and I'm sorry. 940 00:40:57,767 --> 00:40:59,667 Really. 941 00:40:59,767 --> 00:41:00,933 I didn't mean to-- 942 00:41:01,033 --> 00:41:04,567 DAVE: Take the piss out of me, my family, 943 00:41:04,667 --> 00:41:06,500 my whole fucking existence? 944 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,767 No, I didn't. 945 00:41:07,867 --> 00:41:10,133 I just think we need to be straight with each other. 946 00:41:10,233 --> 00:41:12,000 I love that woman. 947 00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,867 I love the very bones of her. 948 00:41:13,967 --> 00:41:16,333 I can't. 949 00:41:16,433 --> 00:41:17,167 Life. 950 00:41:17,267 --> 00:41:20,000 Life's unimaginable without her. 951 00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:21,800 I can't see it. 952 00:41:21,900 --> 00:41:23,400 I just can't. 953 00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:24,467 I don't want her. 954 00:41:24,567 --> 00:41:26,767 I want you to take her back. She's yours. 955 00:41:26,867 --> 00:41:27,700 Just have her. 956 00:41:31,133 --> 00:41:34,600 So, you'll chuck her then, just like that? 957 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,167 Like she was a piece of fucking rubbish. 958 00:41:40,333 --> 00:41:43,400 I can't get my head around it. 959 00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:44,333 We're brothers. 960 00:41:48,633 --> 00:41:50,700 I think I don't want to stop seeing you. 961 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,633 We're related. 962 00:41:51,733 --> 00:41:52,600 Yeah, but does it matter? 963 00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,800 Does it have to be incest? 964 00:41:54,900 --> 00:41:58,833 That stuff's for straights to stop them having daft kids. 965 00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:00,000 Were not breeders. 966 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,800 I think. 967 00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:03,767 I think we know it does. 968 00:42:03,867 --> 00:42:06,567 I feel completely different. 969 00:42:06,667 --> 00:42:09,100 You do, too. 970 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:10,733 Nobody knows. 971 00:42:10,833 --> 00:42:12,000 We could carry on. 972 00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:15,833 We just had sex for God's sake. 973 00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:18,367 It still works. 974 00:42:18,467 --> 00:42:20,667 No, it doesn't. 975 00:42:20,767 --> 00:42:21,567 We know. 976 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:25,133 It's over. 977 00:42:31,567 --> 00:42:35,033 Do you want a drink or something? 978 00:42:35,133 --> 00:42:39,033 We didn't want it to turn out like this. 979 00:42:39,133 --> 00:42:40,800 DAVE: So, what's it gonna be this time then? 980 00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:43,000 Both eyes? 981 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:44,100 Or do I get you back? 982 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,400 It's too late. 983 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:46,167 No, it's not. 984 00:42:46,267 --> 00:42:48,633 It's not too late. 985 00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:49,567 This? 986 00:42:52,267 --> 00:42:54,467 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. 987 00:42:54,567 --> 00:42:57,400 I'm 16. 988 00:42:57,500 --> 00:42:58,300 I'm just randy. 989 00:43:02,633 --> 00:43:05,333 Take me back or you're gonna see brains. 990 00:43:05,433 --> 00:43:06,733 Dave, don't. 991 00:43:06,833 --> 00:43:10,067 Put the gun down. 992 00:43:10,167 --> 00:43:11,700 Dave, just put it down. 993 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:12,800 Bastard. 994 00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:14,800 MAN: Oh, for Christ's sake don't. 995 00:43:14,900 --> 00:43:16,700 Leave it, Shane. 996 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,033 Let's have you! 997 00:43:19,133 --> 00:43:20,000 [gun fires] 998 00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:20,967 Dave! 999 00:43:21,067 --> 00:43:22,900 Fuck was that? 1000 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,100 You just fucking shot us. 1001 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,633 Dave, It was loaded. 1002 00:43:26,733 --> 00:43:27,867 Why did you load it? 1003 00:43:27,967 --> 00:43:29,200 I meant it, Teresa. 1004 00:43:33,933 --> 00:43:36,133 It was really loaded. 1005 00:43:36,233 --> 00:43:38,967 That's how much he needed me. 1006 00:43:39,067 --> 00:43:40,500 I'm sorry, Carl. 1007 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,633 But how could I leave a man who would do that for his woman? 1008 00:43:43,733 --> 00:43:44,633 So what was I? 1009 00:43:44,733 --> 00:43:46,067 I'm sorry, love. 1010 00:43:46,167 --> 00:43:48,333 It's better we finish now. 1011 00:43:48,433 --> 00:43:52,400 'Cause he needs me and I have to go back. 1012 00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,333 Always. 1013 00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:02,400 I'll never forget you but we're locked together me and him. 1014 00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:05,533 It's for life. 1015 00:44:05,633 --> 00:44:06,933 Sorry. 1016 00:44:07,033 --> 00:44:08,600 You used me to get you fucking kicks? 1017 00:44:11,267 --> 00:44:14,300 When you get married you'll understand. 1018 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,733 Fuck that. 1019 00:44:15,833 --> 00:44:17,033 You two deserve each other. 1020 00:44:17,133 --> 00:44:19,467 No wonder your daughter's a fucked up nut job. 1021 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:25,767 LILLIAN: Hilda Ogden never cried when Stan died. 1022 00:44:25,867 --> 00:44:28,533 Not until she got home, found a pair of his glasses 1023 00:44:28,633 --> 00:44:29,467 on the sideboard. 1024 00:44:29,567 --> 00:44:30,367 Set her right off. 1025 00:44:33,333 --> 00:44:34,600 I understood that when I got widowed. 1026 00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:41,267 All over the house, little ghosts waiting to jump out. 1027 00:44:41,367 --> 00:44:45,767 They remind you of the things you're not going to share. 1028 00:44:45,867 --> 00:44:46,900 IAN: Did he just try and shoot you? 1029 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,800 No. 1030 00:44:48,900 --> 00:44:52,733 Showing off to his wife, apparently. 1031 00:44:52,833 --> 00:44:55,033 So, what's happened to you two? 1032 00:44:55,133 --> 00:44:58,200 You split up already? 1033 00:44:58,300 --> 00:44:59,000 Why? 1034 00:44:59,100 --> 00:45:01,867 You don't wanna know. 1035 00:45:01,967 --> 00:45:03,400 LILLIAN: When you're with someone, 1036 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:07,133 there's a future, a present, something to look forward to. 1037 00:45:07,233 --> 00:45:10,133 Then they've gone and there's nothing in front. 1038 00:45:10,233 --> 00:45:11,333 It's all back. 1039 00:45:11,433 --> 00:45:16,167 Memories, regrets, and it never stops. 1040 00:45:16,267 --> 00:45:18,833 We have the same dad. 1041 00:45:18,933 --> 00:45:19,800 We're brothers. 1042 00:45:19,900 --> 00:45:22,800 Half brothers. 1043 00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:24,867 Are we half brothers? 1044 00:45:24,967 --> 00:45:27,400 Don't worry, you're safe. 1045 00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:28,800 Dick. 1046 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:29,733 You moppet. 1047 00:45:33,067 --> 00:45:35,233 [uptempo music] 1048 00:46:14,033 --> 00:46:15,033 Oi, Look out. 1049 00:46:21,733 --> 00:46:24,200 [bell dings]