1 00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:04,067 [chime] 2 00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:06,233 [sirens] 3 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:09,467 FRANK: Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 4 00:00:09,567 --> 00:00:10,800 Oy. 5 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,000 MONICA: Come watch pikeys making a mess is the lives they 6 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,767 were given by him upstairs. 7 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:18,800 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 8 00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:19,700 Wicked. 9 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,167 Piss off. 10 00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:26,133 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing 11 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,333 money or wives in your face. 12 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:31,267 'Cause this, people reckon, me included, 13 00:00:31,367 --> 00:00:35,333 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented to calm us 14 00:00:35,433 --> 00:00:37,400 all down, stop us going mental. 15 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:43,300 These are Chatsworth Estates' basic essentials. 16 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:49,200 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 17 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:54,500 Well, you shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 18 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,667 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,833 who'll cum on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:02,100 Hey. 21 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,567 Make poverty history. 22 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,567 Cheaper drugs now. 23 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,133 Make poverty history. 24 00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,000 Cheaper drugs now. 25 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,533 Hey, hey, hey, ow. 26 00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:17,033 [music playing] 27 00:01:21,867 --> 00:01:24,300 [chiming music] 28 00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:29,333 MONICA (VOICEOVER): Whore, cow, bitch, 29 00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:31,933 slag, tart, lezzer, dyke-- 30 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,400 I've been called all sorts in my time, 31 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,733 sometimes by people who say they love me in the next breath. 32 00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:39,300 [birds screaming] 33 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,733 MONICA (VOICEOVER): There's no word for the worst thing I've 34 00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:45,800 done, no single word, no insult. I don't suppose there's 35 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:48,567 any way I can make up for it. 36 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:49,633 I keep trying though. 37 00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:51,200 [peacock call] 38 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:54,200 MONICA (VOICEOVER): All I need to do now is to admit me faults 39 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,300 and say what I am, what I really am. 40 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,800 My name is Monica Gallagher. 41 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:03,733 And I'm-- I'm tryin'. 42 00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,733 Ah. 43 00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:08,733 [music playing] 44 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,700 [vomiting] 45 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,233 Tell me mum, I can't live with the stench of me dad's feet. 46 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:27,233 Hard to believe, that. 47 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,600 Then why don't you move back? 48 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:33,067 CARL: There's loads more space. - Everybody. 49 00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,700 There's different types of space. 50 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,033 MONICA: I've got a little announcement to make. 51 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,200 Mother's smother. 52 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:43,300 I am gonna to have another little baby. 53 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,067 Yeah. 54 00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:46,767 [cheering] 55 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,133 [dogs barking] 56 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:55,700 Well, we've been tryin' all this 57 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,333 time ever since I come back. 58 00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:59,133 Well, you could have fucking told me. 59 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,367 Take it with you when you bugger off. 60 00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:01,567 'Cause I'm lookin' after it. 61 00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:03,200 Where's it gonna go? LIAM: Not ours. 62 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,667 We'll have to hope it's a girl then. 63 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,033 No chance, I'm not sharin'. 64 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:11,567 Congratulations. 65 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,233 When's it due? 66 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:15,733 Doctor will us that when I get it confirmed. 67 00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:16,733 You've taken a test? 68 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,100 I don't need to. 69 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,900 I've had me visions, nursery rhymes, birds, eggs. 70 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:28,567 No, I am most definitely with child. 71 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,733 [flute music] 72 00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:41,400 Best nosh, a night in the finest hotel, 73 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:46,800 baked in luxury, a 40th birthday to go down in history. 74 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,133 Wish you'd let us join in. 75 00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,067 Yeah, it's not fair. 76 00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:50,933 You can get us a pressie. 77 00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:52,167 Aye, a big'un. 78 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:54,500 She'll have a big fucking bash [inaudible] 79 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,767 My Paddy's planned this, which means it's perfect. 80 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,900 You ah, toddlin' off into town? 81 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,967 Oh, don't know if I can be bothered. 82 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,233 OK. 83 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,533 [inaudible] choose a frock. 84 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:13,133 Oh. 85 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,500 Do you want a lift in the limo? 86 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,433 I'll get the bus. 87 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,533 Why don't we have a bash. 88 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,233 Tryin' to give the game away spunk bubble? 89 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:29,700 No, I was just throwin' her off scent. 90 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,967 It's classic tactics. 91 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,233 Never, ever attempt to act on initiative. 92 00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:35,733 When every fucker shouts surprise. 93 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,033 I want her to stop. 94 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:39,000 I want her skin in a pile on the floor. 95 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,567 And a Mimi shaped hole in the ceiling. 96 00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:43,900 Great woe will descend upon anybody who 97 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,600 blows this, comprendo dicko? 98 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,200 Mm-hm. 99 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,533 IAN: You gonna hang this up in your bedroom after the party? 100 00:04:50,633 --> 00:04:51,800 Oy, my mum. 101 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,500 I'm beginning to think we should have said not now. 102 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,833 It's easy. 103 00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:57,000 As long as we don't run out of beer, they'll be happy. 104 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,500 Isn't what your dad thinks. 105 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,600 He's been sweatin' on this for months. 106 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,767 Months. 107 00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,600 He's got people coming from all over. 108 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,067 Australia. 109 00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:06,333 We've had lots of do's. 110 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,567 Not when my application is being looked at. 111 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,433 Brewery can chuck us out anytime now. 112 00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:12,133 All night porn shop is the last thing I need. 113 00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:13,867 What's this? 114 00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:17,033 This is your entertainment, slide shows, 115 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:20,100 karaoke, glitter balls, Ceilidh music, all Mimi's fav's. 116 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,800 But there's so much I need to. 117 00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,800 Hey, relax. 118 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:27,167 I'm holdin' you personally responsible for everythin'. 119 00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:28,667 There's stuff I need to get. 120 00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:32,500 A pint and a bucket of ice for my great big bollocks. 121 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,900 Two weeks for an appointment? 122 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000 Yeah, wouldn't let me wait. 123 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:43,467 Doctor is very busy so I shopped. 124 00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:46,067 You've had these lame-brain visions before, you know. 125 00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:47,133 You weren't stuffed up then. 126 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:49,600 Yeah, but not like this. 127 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:50,667 So you're not even sure? 128 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,000 [chiming music] 129 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,700 Shouldn't you be at school? 130 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,000 The thought of you and my dad doin' it has made me ill. 131 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,533 You should take a test, Mon. 132 00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:03,933 MONICA: This little bub is gonna make up for any mistakes 133 00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:06,500 I've made, one for me. 134 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,700 DEBBIE: Oh thanks. 135 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,367 What if it's phantom? 136 00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:10,633 Oh, go on then. 137 00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:11,833 I'll take a test. 138 00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,967 Lend us one of yours. 139 00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,100 I haven't got any. 140 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,867 What kind of teenager are ya? 141 00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:17,900 DEBBIE: Go next door. 142 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000 Meena's got loads. 143 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:28,067 I'm fertile Frank [inaudible] dead eye Dick Gallagher is me, 144 00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:28,967 eh, poncy. 145 00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:30,133 No waste. 146 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:33,800 I'm like your cowboys in a white hat. 147 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:36,900 Cowboys in black hats come crashing through the window, 148 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,867 spray lead all over the fuckin' shop. 149 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:45,833 Miss every bastard and kick the saloon door open, hello, boys. 150 00:06:45,933 --> 00:06:50,267 [inaudible] bidin' me time. 151 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,067 [pin ball machine noises] 152 00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:55,867 [guitar chimes] 153 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:57,400 Draw. 154 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,167 [gunshot] 155 00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:02,967 Dusted over, all up the duff in this case. 156 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,833 How long's mom been back? 157 00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:06,133 Oh, forever. 158 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:08,633 You not that spunky then, are ya, dead eye? 159 00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:11,467 She'll be out for a second, let her by now. 160 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:15,300 Just stick it on the slate, spotty herbert. 161 00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:23,667 A pig. 162 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:25,867 Spit roast for me mum's rave. 163 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,000 Not in the footballer sense. 164 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:27,967 Do we leave it there? 165 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,200 How the fuck should I know? 166 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,867 I'll make some room in the cellar. 167 00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,700 Got to take a date to me mum's party. 168 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,433 I'm workin'. 169 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:38,600 A girl, smart ass. 170 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:42,700 If we don't find one, we've gotta take Nana Murphy. 171 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,600 Kisses for Nana. 172 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,867 Just drag along some [inaudible] or Norma. 173 00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:53,867 No, I'm gonna to do it for real, get a cure. 174 00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:56,533 For what? 175 00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:58,200 Gay. 176 00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,867 Found one on the internet, fucking insane 177 00:07:59,967 --> 00:08:01,400 American Christians. 178 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,100 But they know a thing or two about not wankin' over blokes. 179 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,500 What do you do? 180 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,933 Well, you train your mind to stop thinkin' about 181 00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:08,733 sex and cocks and that. 182 00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:11,300 Yeah, it's mind over. 183 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,433 [female singing] Can you feel this? 184 00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:15,233 Do you want this? 185 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:16,367 [screeching on vinyl record] 186 00:08:16,467 --> 00:08:17,767 - Even that don't bother me. - Tit. 187 00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:18,700 I'll say the ass. 188 00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:26,867 Is it cold enough in here? 189 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,067 It'll have to be. 190 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,300 Freezer's full. 191 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,133 Oh. 192 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,967 Bollocks. 193 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:43,867 Oi. 194 00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:46,200 [knocking] 195 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,033 Oi, we're locked in, help. 196 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,000 Jamie, no. 197 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,833 JAMIE: Come on, let us out. 198 00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:51,800 Yeah. 199 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:52,767 Shit. 200 00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:53,700 Quick. 201 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,100 He's gonna cork it. 202 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,700 They'll drink it all, hurry up, mate. 203 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,667 [everyone hollering] 204 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,200 Mm. 205 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:10,100 [music playing] 206 00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,100 You're Stan. 207 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,233 Told you I was clever. 208 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,067 Good. 209 00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:30,433 We both lied the same amount. 210 00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:36,100 You have no hair and you are overweight. 211 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:41,233 I am short and sent the best photograph ever taken. 212 00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:43,933 [speaking russian] 213 00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,167 Thank you. 214 00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,100 But that's Russian. 215 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,767 I'm Ukrainian. 216 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:49,000 Hello, Irana. 217 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,433 Hello, Stan. 218 00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,067 Please. 219 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:58,067 What a dick, dick, dick. 220 00:09:58,167 --> 00:09:59,533 They'd have noticed soon enough anyway. 221 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,533 [footsteps on the stairs] 222 00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,733 Karen? 223 00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:06,733 You all right? 224 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,700 [music playing] 225 00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:23,633 I tried to stop'em. 226 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,167 The party stuff, Mimi's things, the book. 227 00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:31,333 Paddy is going to explode. 228 00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:33,500 [hands clap] 229 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,633 I am Spartacus. 230 00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:39,000 [bottles rattling] 231 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,500 NORMA: Why won't you let us in? 232 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,067 MONICA: I can't have you around when me nickers are down. 233 00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:45,733 I know you're like. 234 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:46,633 Hold on. 235 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,133 [soft music] 236 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,733 It's not-- it's-- 237 00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:57,900 what's wrong? 238 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,067 Five, six, piss on sticks. 239 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:03,167 [soft music] 240 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:11,067 DEBBIE: No line, no baby, you're not pregnant result. 241 00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,067 No, I don't understand. 242 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:15,200 NORMA: Menopause. 243 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,233 She's too young. 244 00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:19,333 Hormones all over the fuckin' house. 245 00:11:19,433 --> 00:11:20,767 That's why you're gettin' your visions. 246 00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:22,133 Oh, no. 247 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:24,967 Hot flushes, depression, insomnia, irritability, 248 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,667 night sweats, vaginal dryness. 249 00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:28,767 Please. 250 00:11:28,867 --> 00:11:30,500 NORMA: It's part of being a woman. 251 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,133 Comes to us all. 252 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,900 It's comin' to her first, mind. 253 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,133 No more babies. 254 00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,067 [flute music] 255 00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:38,767 No more babies for Monica. 256 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,933 I'm not pleased. 257 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:44,400 You said you were coming back for the ones 258 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,967 you left, not to pop another. 259 00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:47,767 I say a lot of things. 260 00:11:47,867 --> 00:11:48,767 They hate me. 261 00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:50,267 Oh, Mon, they don't. 262 00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:53,567 If I left now, this minute, take 'em two days to notice. 263 00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:54,967 Well. 264 00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:58,500 They'd shrug and then they'd carry on like they expect it, 265 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,100 if they expect anything. 266 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,967 I'm just temporary, a visitor, an unwelcome one. 267 00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:06,067 You're their mum. 268 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,600 [dogs barking] 269 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:16,500 I like being full of baby. 270 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,267 I'm good with them too, when they come out when 271 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,667 they're little and helpless. 272 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,600 And then they grow up. 273 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:27,567 And I fuck it up. 274 00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:30,400 You had to leave. 275 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,833 You were ill. 276 00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:33,267 Yeah. 277 00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:36,600 Hey, there'd have been no me and you if you hadn't. 278 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:39,467 [soft music] 279 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,567 I'm never going to get it right now. 280 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,933 You didn't get it wrong. 281 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,933 You were depressed, desperate. 282 00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:50,067 Mm. 283 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,833 And I never thought I'd feel like that again. 284 00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:54,800 [soft music] 285 00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:06,700 [ominous music] 286 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,667 Sorry bad news. 287 00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:11,967 What? 288 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,333 We've had a robbery and we can't do your party. 289 00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:15,267 What party? 290 00:13:17,867 --> 00:13:20,333 Would that be a surprise party? 291 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,100 Sorry, I-- I didn't know. 292 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,500 No, neither did I, but I do now. 293 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,333 Paddy's gonna rip your lungs out. 294 00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:30,733 You've really crossed the line this time, shithead. 295 00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:35,467 [guitar twangs] 296 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,367 Fuck. 297 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,133 [guitar twangs] 298 00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:40,000 Didn't me dad tell ya? 299 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,100 Obviously not. 300 00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:46,300 Sorry, again. 301 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,633 JAMIE: It's a good job she already knew then. 302 00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:50,867 What? 303 00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:53,000 He chucks one every year. 304 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,833 It's not a surprise if you know. 305 00:13:57,933 --> 00:13:59,600 Paddy doesn't know I know. 306 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:02,200 That means it's a surprise. 307 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,733 And if my Paddy wants me to have a party, I'm havin' one. 308 00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:07,533 Who's ruined surprise? 309 00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:09,400 [inaudible] there. 310 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,267 She already knew. 311 00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:11,500 Hey, it's not the point. 312 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,433 None of us told her. 313 00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:13,500 It's done now. 314 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,000 Karen's an idiot. 315 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,500 But she can't help that. 316 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,067 Drop what you're doin'. 317 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,867 We know who took it, twats, the drinkin' here. 318 00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:23,067 Threaten them. 319 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:24,033 Hate them. 320 00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,800 Bring everything back here. 321 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,400 Not a word to your dad. 322 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,067 Party's on. 323 00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:36,467 Any more dropped tids, Paddy'll know you told me. 324 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:37,233 [sirens] 325 00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:40,333 One fuckin' warning. 326 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:43,833 Maguire's want every piece of fuckin' shite 327 00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:47,233 from the Jockey back, everything. 328 00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:50,400 You give it up now or you're fuckin' dead. 329 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,767 [bang] 330 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:52,733 Yeah, that should do it. 331 00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:53,667 Oi. 332 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,633 [funky music] 333 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,500 Have you reported it? 334 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,100 Not insured. 335 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,700 We could catch him. 336 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,133 [shouting in the streets] 337 00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:10,733 Why are we here? 338 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,800 Couple of drinks was the idea. 339 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,533 I'm not British. 340 00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:18,600 I don't need to get drunk to have sex. 341 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,033 Well, not even the first time? 342 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,567 [flute music] 343 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:28,867 Oh. 344 00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:32,767 [moaning and groaning] 345 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:34,133 Who? 346 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:37,533 It must be Valerie, that dumpster from accounts. 347 00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:41,600 Is always sharin' her cheesy quavers. 348 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,133 Stan eh? 349 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,733 Dirty fuck pig pounding away. 350 00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:50,300 Heard the cheeks bouncing. 351 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:55,333 All that sex gets you kind of hot, couldn't it? 352 00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,733 Oh, Stan in there, if he can do it, what you say? 353 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:09,833 I say, feel free to crack one off. 354 00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:10,767 Perv. 355 00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:11,767 [moaning and groaning] 356 00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:14,733 [music playing] 357 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,100 What you doin'? 358 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,067 No more little baby's. 359 00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:33,100 Won't be needin' these. 360 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,467 Christ sake, Monica, you're bein' a bit. 361 00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:44,167 Kids always desert the parents in the end, all of them, 362 00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:46,100 like you've deserted yours. 363 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,933 I'm two doors away. 364 00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,833 [children playing outside] 365 00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:53,233 Can you take her away? 366 00:16:55,967 --> 00:16:58,000 Reminds me of what I've lost. 367 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,067 Monica, get a grip. 368 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:04,233 [flute music] 369 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,067 What? 370 00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:18,400 Oh, sorry, I'm Tom. 371 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,200 Irana, a good friend, Stan's. 372 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,000 Shtan. 373 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,533 It's Eastern Europe. 374 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:38,200 He's bought her, mail order bride, gold digger, drugs mule. 375 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,000 Trouble. 376 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,267 He needs our help. 377 00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:41,733 No, you're jumpin' to conclusions there. 378 00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,667 Copper's nose. 379 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,867 I think you met, Tom, Irana. 380 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:48,767 Irana? 381 00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:49,867 Ruskie? 382 00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,167 Ukrainian. 383 00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:52,667 I'll run her through the computer at work. 384 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:53,567 No offense. 385 00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:54,400 No you won't. 386 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,333 She's a friend, someone I trust. 387 00:17:57,433 --> 00:18:00,000 We're a pretty tight group here. 388 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,400 Sure you're up for joinin'? 389 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:02,333 Carrie. 390 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:13,400 Shit, stop it. 391 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:14,533 Don't do that. 392 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,333 Bastard. 393 00:18:16,433 --> 00:18:18,000 What you doin' Friday, love? 394 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,233 What? 395 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,933 Do you want to come to a party with me? 396 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,033 What a fuck. 397 00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:31,700 I know where you live. 398 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,233 What the fuck, prick? 399 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:36,333 [guitar twanging music] 400 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,633 [dogs barking] 401 00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:45,300 [knocking] 402 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,533 I was a bit heavy handed there. 403 00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:49,667 I was? 404 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:50,767 No, just a tad. 405 00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:53,333 I'm very protective of my boys. 406 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,300 Sorry. 407 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,933 Put the kettle on Stanley. 408 00:18:57,033 --> 00:18:59,533 I'll show Irana where to put the shampoo. 409 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:06,133 Full name, quickly. 410 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,567 Irana Janowicz Kruzkozaviska. 411 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,967 I'll need a copy of your passport. 412 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,133 Oh. 413 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,800 So why didn't you say anything? 414 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:13,833 Didn't want to jinx it. 415 00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:14,800 Well, get on. 416 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,667 I think this is somethin'-- 417 00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,633 I can't say. 418 00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:19,533 She's lovely. 419 00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:20,833 Yeah, I heard. 420 00:19:20,933 --> 00:19:22,600 There's more to it. 421 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,567 It's not just sex. 422 00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:24,700 This is real. 423 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,167 Shtan has paid for my flight, nothing else. 424 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:32,300 I'm here for a month until visa runs, then home, or sooner. 425 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,500 Neither of us has made any promises. 426 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,433 I'm no threat to you. 427 00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:37,200 I know you're not. 428 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,200 Sooner sounds good to me. 429 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,100 Consider yourself under surveillance. 430 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,800 And say nothing to Stan. 431 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:46,533 [ominous music] 432 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,233 You'll be out of a job? 433 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:54,033 If we don't get all the crap back, yeah. 434 00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,600 Where's this from? 435 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,500 Fuck sake. 436 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,333 [ominous music] 437 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,300 Agh. 438 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,000 MANDY: Mon? 439 00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,467 Give us some advice on a recipe, will ya? 440 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,733 [dogs barking] 441 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,867 Well, I guess it's not me souffle recipe you're after. 442 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:19,200 Time for me to snap out of it, is it? 443 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,600 They don't need to see you wallowin'. 444 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,267 I know your kids. 445 00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:30,333 They're a good bunch despite you. 446 00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:32,733 Don't think of the one you're not havin'. 447 00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:35,467 Think of the one's you've got. 448 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,367 I'm sorry. 449 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:39,333 [chiming music] 450 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,533 I suppose you agree with her. 451 00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:50,067 You can't let yourself sink away again. 452 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,267 I got you through this before. 453 00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:53,267 Mm. 454 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:54,200 Me escape. 455 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,633 You know I was just using you, don't you? 456 00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:02,800 No real feeling. 457 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,567 In know you're tryin' to hurt us. 458 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,633 Congratulations. 459 00:21:13,733 --> 00:21:15,800 You're on your own again. 460 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,733 [flute music] 461 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,800 You only met her five minutes since. 462 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,267 You got a feel for people in my job. 463 00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:31,000 I can tell what she's like, I've said things to her 464 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,600 I've never said to anyone else. 465 00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:33,967 It's mad, I know. 466 00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:35,633 But I really do feel like I've known her forever. 467 00:21:35,733 --> 00:21:37,467 Sounds like you've really fallin' for her big time. 468 00:21:37,567 --> 00:21:39,167 Oh, I'm dreadin' her leavin' already. 469 00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:41,667 Well, there's not a moment to lose. 470 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:44,367 If you think you found something special, then go for it. 471 00:21:44,467 --> 00:21:45,300 You think? 472 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,200 Yeah. 473 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,433 Go on, off you go. Go find her. 474 00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:49,800 Go tell her. 475 00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:50,900 Hey. 476 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,800 Oh, keep the change. 477 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:54,733 [cash register beeping] 478 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:55,667 I'm fucked for that. 479 00:21:58,767 --> 00:21:59,633 You've no need to do that. 480 00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:01,000 It's disgusting. 481 00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:03,233 I had to. - Thanks. 482 00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:04,667 Hey, I-- I-- I got you. 483 00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:05,567 For me? 484 00:22:05,667 --> 00:22:06,500 Yeah. 485 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,167 Thank you, Shtan. 486 00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:08,933 Oh. 487 00:22:09,033 --> 00:22:10,867 Are you all right? 488 00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:12,633 I have allergy to chocolate. 489 00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:14,300 Oh, oh, sorry. 490 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,400 It's OK. 491 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,433 There's so much I don't know about you. 492 00:22:17,533 --> 00:22:19,267 - It's a little thing. - Not to me. 493 00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:20,800 I mean, I want to know everything. 494 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:23,633 I've been waitin' for you me whole life, without realizin' 495 00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:24,800 obviously. 496 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,700 You-- you're the perfect fit, all I need. 497 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,367 I mean, I found you. 498 00:22:30,467 --> 00:22:32,467 Come on, I want to talk to you. 499 00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:33,433 Shtan. 500 00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:35,200 I know-- 501 00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,300 I know this is a bit quick. 502 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,133 But I can't stand the thought of you goin' back. 503 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,500 I don't want us to be apart. 504 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,800 Neither do I. 505 00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:52,667 So, I think you should move in here with me, together. 506 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,200 I don't know how to say-- 507 00:22:58,300 --> 00:22:59,667 No need for an answer now. 508 00:22:59,767 --> 00:23:01,900 But think about it. 509 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,833 Shtan, yes, I will think about it. 510 00:23:05,933 --> 00:23:09,333 [music playing] 511 00:23:15,333 --> 00:23:18,167 [sirens] 512 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,433 KAREN: Sure, can you fucking read? 513 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,067 Don't fuck it up. 514 00:23:30,733 --> 00:23:33,333 I know your family, Karen, but nothing matters as much to me 515 00:23:33,433 --> 00:23:34,233 as my wife. 516 00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:42,000 Who did it? 517 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,600 Everyone. 518 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:45,500 It was my fault. 519 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:46,433 Don't cover for her. 520 00:23:46,533 --> 00:23:48,200 That's pathetic. 521 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,500 You two, get it all back. 522 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,300 We've already started. 523 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,500 We've acted on his initiative. 524 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,267 Oh yeah? 525 00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:57,933 Well, why didn't you tell me first? 526 00:23:58,033 --> 00:23:59,967 Karen said not to. 527 00:24:00,067 --> 00:24:02,500 [guitar twanging] 528 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,067 [sirens] 529 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,233 I haven't always done me best. 530 00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:20,200 There's no point sayin' that I'll 531 00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:22,233 change or make it up to ya. 532 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:24,100 Because that can't happen. 533 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,333 I was wrong. 534 00:24:30,967 --> 00:24:34,200 I am a bad mother. 535 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:39,300 But I do really love ya. 536 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,600 And you love me, well, you did when you were babies, 537 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:43,600 even you Liam. 538 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:47,033 It's you I've let down the most. 539 00:24:47,133 --> 00:24:48,400 Wish I could go back. 540 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:57,533 But all I can do is learn to love you all better. 541 00:24:57,633 --> 00:25:00,500 [music playing] 542 00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,733 What's this? - English. 543 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:13,833 You don't want to do that now. 544 00:25:13,933 --> 00:25:14,767 Go on up to bed. 545 00:25:14,867 --> 00:25:16,433 It's due tomorrow. 546 00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:17,567 I'll do it for ya. 547 00:25:17,667 --> 00:25:20,133 [chiming music] 548 00:25:24,067 --> 00:25:24,967 See you at 10:00. 549 00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:26,133 Thank you. 550 00:25:32,633 --> 00:25:33,700 Is this a brothel? 551 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:34,933 Course not. 552 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,667 We provide exclusive executive services. 553 00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:37,667 Like what? 554 00:25:37,767 --> 00:25:39,267 Hand shandies, blow jobs, sex. 555 00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:43,600 Why do have that? 556 00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:45,300 I thought it'd make a nice visitors book. 557 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,400 But nobody bothers to sign it, not with the real names anyway. 558 00:25:51,433 --> 00:25:52,900 Can't get lever into this, could you mate? 559 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,100 [phone rings] MICKEY: Bastard. 560 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,100 Lilian's intimate massage. 561 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,267 [piano music] 562 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,067 They'll think I'm a learnin' diffie. 563 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,467 Mom is so challenged. 564 00:26:26,567 --> 00:26:28,100 You know why her lips move when she's readin' now. 565 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,200 LIAM: What am I gonna do? 566 00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:30,267 Can't show that. 567 00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:34,267 Dog ate it. 568 00:26:34,367 --> 00:26:35,200 Mornin'. 569 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,233 I've made you packed lunches. 570 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,900 Thought I'd save a job for you all, just um 571 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,433 sandwiches, crisp sort of thing. 572 00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:54,100 What's the matter? 573 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,200 We get free dinners. 574 00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:59,467 Yeah, well, this is extra, playtime. 575 00:26:59,567 --> 00:27:00,533 I've left school. 576 00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:04,100 I work in the Jockey if it's still open. 577 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,667 Did you find your homework, Liam? 578 00:27:05,767 --> 00:27:07,467 All right were it? 579 00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:10,033 Yeah, it was a-- great. 580 00:27:10,133 --> 00:27:11,600 Top of the cross, eh, Liam? 581 00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:13,133 Yeah, yeah, thanks Mum. 582 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,600 And get back early 'cause we're having a barbecue. 583 00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:23,533 [horn blowing] 584 00:27:23,633 --> 00:27:26,467 [chiming music] 585 00:27:34,233 --> 00:27:35,100 How'd you know it's her? 586 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,867 Of course it is. 587 00:27:37,967 --> 00:27:39,533 We can tell him. 588 00:27:39,633 --> 00:27:40,600 We can't. 589 00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:43,500 Well-- I suppose not. 590 00:27:46,533 --> 00:27:48,100 She's gone? 591 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,267 Yeah, kitty's gone, too. 592 00:27:50,367 --> 00:27:51,200 Oh. 593 00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:52,967 Ah. 594 00:27:53,067 --> 00:27:55,500 [flute music] 595 00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:05,433 Why'd you have to do that? 596 00:28:05,533 --> 00:28:07,433 You know he's fallin' that over for her. 597 00:28:07,533 --> 00:28:08,367 Yeah. 598 00:28:08,467 --> 00:28:09,267 Sad. 599 00:28:17,433 --> 00:28:20,533 Paddy shot the CD off, right? 600 00:28:20,633 --> 00:28:21,900 Ceilidh. 601 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:22,867 Ceilidh? 602 00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:24,133 Diddley dee. 603 00:28:24,233 --> 00:28:26,567 I want ballroom dancin', been droppin' hints 604 00:28:26,667 --> 00:28:29,833 about Bruce fuckin' Forsyth for months. 605 00:28:29,933 --> 00:28:31,467 Lose the hippie shit. 606 00:28:31,567 --> 00:28:32,400 I want the posh stuff. 607 00:28:36,533 --> 00:28:38,033 What's that? 608 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,133 Give us it. 609 00:28:44,033 --> 00:28:45,067 Oh, those bastards. 610 00:28:48,567 --> 00:28:50,167 We're closed. 611 00:28:50,267 --> 00:28:52,833 Yeah, I noticed. 612 00:28:52,933 --> 00:28:53,933 What says you anyway? 613 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:57,700 I'm Tyldesley from the brewery. 614 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,033 Heard you got a problem. 615 00:28:59,133 --> 00:29:02,567 [ominous music] 616 00:29:06,533 --> 00:29:09,800 How's it goin' for dates then and who's takin' Nana? 617 00:29:14,133 --> 00:29:16,333 - Piss off. - How about you Mickey? 618 00:29:16,433 --> 00:29:17,267 I'm fixed up. 619 00:29:17,367 --> 00:29:18,800 Are ya? 620 00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:22,600 Fuck, me, again, fuck. 621 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,000 [dogs barking] 622 00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:26,767 How's the um unquenchable thirst for hot cock? 623 00:29:26,867 --> 00:29:27,667 NORMA: 624 00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:28,667 It's a girl. 625 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,767 A girl? 626 00:29:30,867 --> 00:29:32,333 I'd warn her before you put it in. 627 00:29:32,433 --> 00:29:33,567 Oh. 628 00:29:33,667 --> 00:29:34,367 Come on, Shane. 629 00:29:34,467 --> 00:29:35,567 There's beer match in here. 630 00:29:38,567 --> 00:29:41,800 [glass shatters] 631 00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:45,033 At least we still got a chance. 632 00:29:45,133 --> 00:29:46,467 Oh, not now, Frank. 633 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,367 The fine people of Chatsworth have appointed 634 00:29:52,467 --> 00:29:56,267 me spokesman on their behalf. 635 00:29:56,367 --> 00:30:00,333 People don't like the way that you're runnin' the Jockey. 636 00:30:00,433 --> 00:30:05,767 Well, it's not just a pub, a place of ale, 637 00:30:05,867 --> 00:30:11,100 it's a second home to most of us, first for some. 638 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,467 We need that beer flowin'. 639 00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:14,867 NORMA: 640 00:30:14,967 --> 00:30:17,800 Well, you can communicate to the fuckwits of Chatsworth that 641 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:21,300 unless this public house is full of furniture and running 642 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,967 smoothly by tonight, they're fuckin' closing 643 00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:26,833 me fucking down. 644 00:30:26,933 --> 00:30:27,867 You're shittin' me? 645 00:30:27,967 --> 00:30:30,400 [funky music] 646 00:30:32,267 --> 00:30:33,533 It's all right, go on. 647 00:30:33,633 --> 00:30:36,067 Thought I could, um, light the barbie. 648 00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:39,100 Oh, thanks, love. 649 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,567 [dogs barking] 650 00:30:44,933 --> 00:30:46,600 Oh, there you are. 651 00:30:46,700 --> 00:30:49,433 Now I know it's meat, but would you mind taking it out for us? 652 00:30:55,033 --> 00:30:56,767 What's that? 653 00:30:56,867 --> 00:30:57,700 We're not speakin'. 654 00:30:59,933 --> 00:31:00,733 Why not? 655 00:31:04,433 --> 00:31:08,267 No real feelin', and sayin' it like-- 656 00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:10,833 like--like we was nothin'. 657 00:31:10,933 --> 00:31:12,033 Don't you want the truth? 658 00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:13,367 - Not if it's that. - Agh. 659 00:31:13,467 --> 00:31:14,433 Agh. 660 00:31:14,533 --> 00:31:15,233 Agh. 661 00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:16,967 No, no, no, Liam's on fire. 662 00:31:17,067 --> 00:31:19,933 Mum. 663 00:31:20,033 --> 00:31:22,900 Oh, just another minute and-- 664 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,867 who give him the lighter? 665 00:31:24,967 --> 00:31:27,433 [sirens] 666 00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:31,400 Are you all right? 667 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:32,167 Yeah. 668 00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:33,567 Have I still got eyebrows? 669 00:31:33,667 --> 00:31:35,033 Just, you're hair's a bit. 670 00:31:35,133 --> 00:31:36,700 DEBBIE: What were you doing, Mum? 671 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,700 I thought he was old enough. 672 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,533 It's a responsibility. 673 00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,800 He's going through a phase, fire, danger. 674 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:46,767 I do know, Debbie. 675 00:31:46,867 --> 00:31:48,000 He is my son. 676 00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:51,300 There are other ways of dealin' with it. 677 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,467 Oh, come on. 678 00:31:52,567 --> 00:31:53,200 Get gas on. 679 00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:54,600 We'll do meat in oven, eh? 680 00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:58,567 Flame on, bro. 681 00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:00,833 I'll do it. 682 00:32:00,933 --> 00:32:03,367 [piano music] 683 00:32:14,067 --> 00:32:16,133 It's all there. 684 00:32:16,233 --> 00:32:18,000 Sorry. - Where have you been? 685 00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:19,833 I ran away. 686 00:32:19,933 --> 00:32:21,667 I was going home. 687 00:32:21,767 --> 00:32:23,633 Didn't want to scare you about movin' in, in there. 688 00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:25,733 No, you didn't. 689 00:32:25,833 --> 00:32:26,633 I'm liar. 690 00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:32,300 I lie. 691 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,967 I'm married. 692 00:32:34,067 --> 00:32:35,767 I didn't mean to lie. 693 00:32:35,867 --> 00:32:40,667 My husband is complicated. 694 00:32:40,767 --> 00:32:41,800 I would divorce. 695 00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:45,100 But my parents would become homeless. 696 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,800 I'm trapped. 697 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,667 But you came back. 698 00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:50,900 I couldn't leave. 699 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,367 You're my real man. 700 00:32:52,467 --> 00:32:53,900 I had to tell you the truth. 701 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,433 And here you say you didn't want me. 702 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:00,367 Say it, Shtan. 703 00:33:00,467 --> 00:33:02,733 [soft music] 704 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,467 What's all this? 705 00:33:09,567 --> 00:33:12,533 Irana's done me the honor of agreein' to move in. 706 00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:14,733 Wow. 707 00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:16,567 Well done, mate. 708 00:33:16,667 --> 00:33:17,633 When was this? 709 00:33:17,733 --> 00:33:19,067 Before or after she returned the kitty? 710 00:33:19,167 --> 00:33:19,967 Well, after. 711 00:33:20,067 --> 00:33:21,333 Don't be like that. 712 00:33:21,433 --> 00:33:25,100 No, I'm really pleased for you both, really I am. 713 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,100 Well Irana's gonna go home to organize her affairs. 714 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,567 But there's no hurry. 715 00:33:29,667 --> 00:33:30,800 You won't have to move out for a couple of weeks, yeah. 716 00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:32,500 - What? - What? 717 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,767 Well, it's not gonna work with you two here as well, is it? 718 00:33:34,867 --> 00:33:35,800 The flat's in my name. 719 00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:38,300 [soft music] 720 00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:41,767 [sirens] 721 00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:44,333 Come on, that's got to be worth a free beverage. 722 00:33:44,433 --> 00:33:45,933 You nicked it in the first place. 723 00:33:46,033 --> 00:33:46,933 That's-- 724 00:33:47,033 --> 00:33:48,267 JAMIE: I'll buy you one, Frank. 725 00:33:48,367 --> 00:33:51,867 You're a gentleman, whoever you are. 726 00:33:51,967 --> 00:33:52,933 Very impressive. 727 00:33:53,033 --> 00:33:53,867 Thank you. 728 00:33:53,967 --> 00:33:55,333 A shit hole once more. 729 00:33:55,433 --> 00:33:58,067 Back to normal and running smoothly, like you said. 730 00:33:58,167 --> 00:33:59,733 Gonna give him a chaser with that? 731 00:33:59,833 --> 00:34:01,867 Oh. 732 00:34:01,967 --> 00:34:03,233 I put an order in. 733 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:07,833 Well, not fast enough, close, but no sorry cigar. 734 00:34:07,933 --> 00:34:09,833 You're shut Monday. 735 00:34:09,933 --> 00:34:11,400 Oh. 736 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,800 Looks like you got a fortune in your new landlord, Garreth. 737 00:34:13,900 --> 00:34:16,300 [guitar twanging] 738 00:34:24,567 --> 00:34:25,800 I'm impressed. 739 00:34:25,900 --> 00:34:27,867 Didn't think you'd have it in ya. 740 00:34:27,967 --> 00:34:29,933 We haven't. 741 00:34:30,033 --> 00:34:31,967 They're closing us down. 742 00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:34,300 Twat from the brewery stated a writeup. 743 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,033 When? 744 00:34:35,133 --> 00:34:37,033 Out Monday. 745 00:34:37,133 --> 00:34:39,133 If you're for a positive spin, at least 746 00:34:39,233 --> 00:34:41,200 we can still have the party. 747 00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:41,933 What? 748 00:34:42,033 --> 00:34:42,933 Well, why not? 749 00:34:43,033 --> 00:34:43,967 Take your mind off things. 750 00:34:44,067 --> 00:34:45,500 I can't believe you. 751 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,933 We're homeless, and all you care about is a poxy party. 752 00:34:49,033 --> 00:34:49,900 You're not homeless. 753 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,200 You can stop at our. 754 00:34:51,300 --> 00:34:52,533 Can't persuade Mandy back. 755 00:34:52,633 --> 00:34:54,533 But you know you've always got a home with me. 756 00:34:54,633 --> 00:34:55,967 You fucking joking? 757 00:34:56,067 --> 00:34:57,000 Live with you? 758 00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:58,300 You're a selfish old hag. 759 00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:59,867 We're trying to make a go of something here. 760 00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:02,733 And all you care about is yourself. 761 00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:04,033 Well fuck you. 762 00:35:04,133 --> 00:35:05,567 I won't be at your party. 763 00:35:05,667 --> 00:35:08,533 I'll be packing. 764 00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,000 What have I said now? 765 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:13,700 We've been here before, Mum. 766 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:14,700 I agree with her. 767 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,267 [music playing] 768 00:35:23,233 --> 00:35:26,100 Been thinkin' about other things we could do together, 769 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,067 trips and that. 770 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:31,267 We could ah-- could go to Blackpool. 771 00:35:31,367 --> 00:35:32,167 LIAM: Agh. 772 00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:37,467 Or the Lakes. 773 00:35:37,567 --> 00:35:39,400 [boat horn] 774 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,667 The zoo. 775 00:35:40,767 --> 00:35:41,800 [screaming] 776 00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:42,700 LIAM: Cool. 777 00:35:47,033 --> 00:35:49,700 Tea's ready when you are. 778 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,833 [tv voices] 779 00:35:51,933 --> 00:35:53,600 Can even bare thinkin' about it. 780 00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:54,667 Preferred her when she was shit. 781 00:35:54,767 --> 00:35:56,067 Yeah. 782 00:35:56,167 --> 00:35:57,433 DEBBIE: We should just tell her, we don't like ya. 783 00:35:57,533 --> 00:36:00,800 Stop tryin' to be a proper mom 'cause you can't be. 784 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:02,067 She left us. 785 00:36:02,167 --> 00:36:03,500 And you're just rubbish. 786 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,100 Oh, oh, oh. 787 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,033 Aren't you bored of bein' so hard on her? 788 00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:11,933 Try bein' nice for a change. 789 00:36:12,033 --> 00:36:14,867 [music playing] 790 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:17,733 [sirens] 791 00:36:17,833 --> 00:36:20,633 [music playing] 792 00:36:20,733 --> 00:36:21,600 Come in. 793 00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:23,900 Can't yet. 794 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,067 Something to do. 795 00:36:27,167 --> 00:36:29,633 [music playing] 796 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:39,500 What's this? 797 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,633 Happy Mother's Day. 798 00:36:41,733 --> 00:36:42,967 For all the ones we missed. 799 00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:44,400 Let's start again, eh? 800 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:46,367 Oh, thanks. 801 00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:50,000 And you don't have to try too hard, you know. 802 00:36:54,433 --> 00:36:59,633 We're just glad you're here, home, like a family again. 803 00:36:59,733 --> 00:37:02,900 We are so pleased. 804 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,667 [music playing] 805 00:37:09,533 --> 00:37:14,400 You're all um sendin' me a message. 806 00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:16,367 I'll back off. 807 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:17,767 I get it. 808 00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:20,700 [music playing] 809 00:37:28,533 --> 00:37:31,700 It won't take long, zen I'll be free. 810 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,767 Oh, I-- I'll miss ya, that's all. 811 00:37:34,867 --> 00:37:37,000 You're worried I won't come back. 812 00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:38,700 God no. 813 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:39,667 I hadn't thought about that. 814 00:37:43,567 --> 00:37:46,933 My mother gave me this before she died. 815 00:37:47,033 --> 00:37:50,200 And she say I should wear forever so she could 816 00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,200 watch over most precious thing. 817 00:37:56,133 --> 00:37:58,733 Now, I have most precious thing. 818 00:37:58,833 --> 00:38:00,300 Don't-- 819 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,667 [soft music] 820 00:38:12,067 --> 00:38:12,967 No. 821 00:38:13,067 --> 00:38:16,100 [soft music] 822 00:38:24,933 --> 00:38:26,700 Happy birthday, Mimo. 823 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,200 Oh, thanks, turtle. 824 00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:33,700 And here's to 40 more together. 825 00:38:37,133 --> 00:38:39,267 Pressie time. 826 00:38:39,367 --> 00:38:41,300 Shut the door, piss off. 827 00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:51,400 [music playing] 828 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:57,567 Stay here. 829 00:38:57,667 --> 00:38:58,567 No goodbyes. 830 00:38:58,667 --> 00:39:01,567 [music playing] 831 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,467 You're a special guy, Shtan. 832 00:39:06,567 --> 00:39:09,433 [soft music] 833 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:25,267 Got a mate who'll lend us a bed for a week. 834 00:39:25,367 --> 00:39:29,600 I am not stayin' with anybody whose name is Chopper. 835 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:30,533 What are you doin'? 836 00:39:30,633 --> 00:39:32,967 Oh, you said Monday. 837 00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:34,267 Tommy is a bit confused. 838 00:39:34,367 --> 00:39:35,733 You've been doin' everythin' by the book. 839 00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:36,667 He's losin' out. 840 00:39:36,767 --> 00:39:38,300 Tell her, Tom. 841 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,500 I'll offer you the same deal I gave, Jess. 842 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:41,600 Which is? 843 00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,800 Water the beer down, sell dodgy spirits, 844 00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:45,900 and then split the difference. 845 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,833 Don't say yes, Karen. 846 00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:51,767 Fuck it, yeah, I'll do it. 847 00:39:51,867 --> 00:39:52,800 Should have said. 848 00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:55,833 Don't know all the scams. 849 00:39:55,933 --> 00:39:57,033 Nice doing business with ya. 850 00:40:01,333 --> 00:40:02,567 Thanks. 851 00:40:02,667 --> 00:40:05,000 Sorry I called you selfish. 852 00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:08,533 And an old hag. 853 00:40:08,633 --> 00:40:10,367 Yeah. 854 00:40:10,467 --> 00:40:13,167 Now get your fuckin' ass into gear. 855 00:40:16,967 --> 00:40:18,133 Anyway, she can't eat them. 856 00:40:18,233 --> 00:40:19,533 And I'm watching this. 857 00:40:19,633 --> 00:40:20,500 Thanks Stan. 858 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:21,933 Well, you're advice led to it, ta. 859 00:40:22,033 --> 00:40:23,133 A pleasure, love. 860 00:40:23,233 --> 00:40:24,767 I'm sure you'll be very happy together. 861 00:40:24,867 --> 00:40:25,700 Thanks again for these. 862 00:40:30,633 --> 00:40:31,467 Oi. 863 00:40:31,567 --> 00:40:32,267 Oh no. 864 00:40:32,367 --> 00:40:33,433 We'll see you in court. 865 00:40:33,533 --> 00:40:34,533 You should have use precautions. 866 00:40:34,633 --> 00:40:36,700 It's not my fuckin' fault, out, out. 867 00:40:39,300 --> 00:40:40,633 What's up with them? 868 00:40:40,733 --> 00:40:42,600 I bought a faulty batch of pregnancy testing kits, 869 00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:45,033 all showing up negative. 870 00:40:45,133 --> 00:40:47,233 Then the ones that Meena had? 871 00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:48,600 Meena? 872 00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:51,467 What's my Meena doin' with fuckin' pregnancy testing kits? 873 00:40:54,033 --> 00:40:56,367 Negative. 874 00:40:56,467 --> 00:40:58,167 And stop nickin' from the shop. 875 00:40:58,267 --> 00:40:59,767 Well, what's the point in havin' one? 876 00:40:59,867 --> 00:41:00,667 And don't have sex! 877 00:41:04,967 --> 00:41:08,000 [music playing] 878 00:41:14,433 --> 00:41:16,533 Stan. 879 00:41:16,633 --> 00:41:18,100 She put a-- ran her through the computer. 880 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,533 But why? I said not to. 881 00:41:19,633 --> 00:41:22,867 She's a con artist, specializes in coppers, 882 00:41:22,967 --> 00:41:24,400 done 5 in greater Manchester. 883 00:41:24,500 --> 00:41:29,133 Something about paying off an ex-husband? 884 00:41:29,233 --> 00:41:31,233 Sorry. - Taken them for thousands. 885 00:41:31,333 --> 00:41:32,033 NORMA: 886 00:41:32,133 --> 00:41:32,933 Did you give her any money? 887 00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:34,433 No. 888 00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:35,400 Pay him off. 889 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:36,333 Use this. 890 00:41:36,433 --> 00:41:37,933 Think of it as a movin' in present. 891 00:41:38,033 --> 00:41:41,033 Thank you, Shtan. 892 00:41:41,133 --> 00:41:43,567 Course I didn't. 893 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:44,967 She's not even Ukrainian. 894 00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:46,533 She's Austrian. 895 00:41:46,633 --> 00:41:47,533 Lives in Crawley. 896 00:41:47,633 --> 00:41:48,733 But if you didn't give her anything. 897 00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:49,667 She'll be back. 898 00:41:49,767 --> 00:41:51,467 We can trap her. 899 00:41:51,567 --> 00:41:52,500 So you up for it? 900 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,400 Shtan? 901 00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:58,033 Why don't you fuck off. 902 00:41:58,133 --> 00:42:00,500 [flute music] 903 00:42:02,867 --> 00:42:04,667 Jesus. 904 00:42:04,767 --> 00:42:06,467 You do a man a favor. 905 00:42:06,567 --> 00:42:08,267 This is worse-- why don't we have a quick one, huh? 906 00:42:08,367 --> 00:42:11,800 You know, let's say just before table. 907 00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:13,000 Just one, I'll have to pace meself. 908 00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:13,933 Just the one. 909 00:42:14,033 --> 00:42:16,033 Come on. 910 00:42:16,133 --> 00:42:17,367 Sh, quiet, they're here. 911 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,233 [cheering] 912 00:42:27,067 --> 00:42:29,900 Oh, fuckin' huh? 913 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,433 You bastards. 914 00:42:31,533 --> 00:42:32,367 Did you not guess? 915 00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:34,367 I was sure you'd guess this time. 916 00:42:34,467 --> 00:42:36,367 No, didn't have a fucking clue. 917 00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:41,767 Party. 918 00:42:41,867 --> 00:42:44,333 [cheering] 919 00:42:44,433 --> 00:42:47,300 [ceilidh music] 920 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,733 Mom's, I understand you wanting 921 00:42:57,833 --> 00:43:00,033 to help kids get a grasp of the Bible in their own-- 922 00:43:00,133 --> 00:43:01,767 MONICA: Anyone watchin' this? 923 00:43:01,867 --> 00:43:02,900 No, not really. 924 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,667 [tv voices] 925 00:43:08,467 --> 00:43:11,000 I am pregnant. 926 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:12,333 I've taken a new test. 927 00:43:15,967 --> 00:43:17,467 DEBBIE: Do you want it? 928 00:43:17,567 --> 00:43:21,333 Yeah, I really do. 929 00:43:21,433 --> 00:43:22,833 Great. 930 00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:24,467 A baby, why not? 931 00:43:24,567 --> 00:43:25,567 LIAM: Yeah. 932 00:43:25,667 --> 00:43:27,300 I'm fed up with bein' the youngest anyway. 933 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,667 And you won't have to bring it up. 934 00:43:28,767 --> 00:43:29,967 I promise. 935 00:43:30,067 --> 00:43:33,300 But I will need one little bit of help. 936 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,533 Don't let me screw up this time. 937 00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:37,433 I'll try. 938 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:48,767 [ceilidh music] 939 00:43:51,867 --> 00:43:53,733 Fuck. 940 00:43:53,833 --> 00:43:55,333 I asked that bint out. 941 00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:56,133 And I said no. 942 00:43:56,233 --> 00:43:57,100 What's wrong with me? 943 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,867 Taste in women for a start. 944 00:43:58,967 --> 00:44:00,333 Forget that bitch. 945 00:44:00,433 --> 00:44:01,067 Come on. 946 00:44:01,167 --> 00:44:02,367 Let's dance. 947 00:44:02,467 --> 00:44:03,733 Eh, I hope you don't mind. 948 00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:04,833 What? 949 00:44:04,933 --> 00:44:06,600 Me brother wanted to come along. 950 00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:09,533 [ceilidh music] 951 00:44:12,367 --> 00:44:13,467 Testing, testing, testing. 952 00:44:13,567 --> 00:44:14,367 [cheering] 953 00:44:14,467 --> 00:44:16,167 Hey. 954 00:44:16,267 --> 00:44:17,933 We all know why we're here tonight, don't we? 955 00:44:18,033 --> 00:44:20,067 Happy birthday. 956 00:44:20,167 --> 00:44:22,600 [crowd cheering] 957 00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:24,967 Just cut. 958 00:44:25,067 --> 00:44:27,133 There's one more little surprise. 959 00:44:27,233 --> 00:44:30,067 Because tonight-- 960 00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:33,200 [ballroom dance music] 961 00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:46,400 Mimi Katherine Rose Joy Murphy Maguire, this is-- 962 00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:50,700 who's written [inaudible] all over this page? 963 00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,667 Hey! 964 00:44:53,767 --> 00:44:54,967 Paddy, it's all right. 965 00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:56,967 Oh, thanks. 966 00:44:57,067 --> 00:44:58,367 PADDY: Took me ages to do this! 967 00:44:58,467 --> 00:44:59,533 It's all right, come on, dance. 968 00:44:59,633 --> 00:45:00,933 [MUSIC - MATT MONRO, "MY KIND OF GIRL"] 969 00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:02,767 Even cooks like an angel cooks. 970 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,067 And my mind is in a whirl-- 971 00:45:09,167 --> 00:45:15,433 I owe you everything, me life really. 972 00:45:15,533 --> 00:45:16,700 That's not nothin'. 973 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:20,100 [MUSIC - MATT MONRO, "MY KIND OF GIRL"] My kind of girl. 974 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:27,133 And my heart's kind of full of joy. 975 00:45:27,233 --> 00:45:34,933 Because she told me I'm her kind of boy. 976 00:45:35,033 --> 00:45:38,033 [dance music] 977 00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:42,333 I'm going to have a baby. 978 00:45:42,433 --> 00:45:44,300 You already fucking told me that. 979 00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:45,667 It's not a surprise is it? 980 00:45:45,767 --> 00:45:48,600 [dance music] 981 00:45:58,933 --> 00:46:00,400 Takin' a fucking turn here. 982 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:01,533 Come on, Come on. 983 00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:03,700 MONICA (VOICEOVER): By many people's standards, 984 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,967 I do count as a terrible mother. 985 00:46:06,067 --> 00:46:08,267 I'm never going to win any prizes anyway. 986 00:46:08,367 --> 00:46:10,567 Men can leave as many children as they like. 987 00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:12,933 If you're an old rucker, you're virtually expected 988 00:46:13,033 --> 00:46:14,000 to leave hundreds of'em. 989 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:16,533 [crowd cheering] 990 00:46:16,633 --> 00:46:19,500 [ceilidh music] 991 00:46:21,967 --> 00:46:23,267 I know she knows. 992 00:46:23,367 --> 00:46:25,800 But she doesn't know that I know she knows. 993 00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:33,433 MONICA (VOICEOVER): Nobody forgives a woman, nobody. 994 00:46:33,533 --> 00:46:37,567 I've got a second chance, and I'm gonna grab it. 995 00:46:37,667 --> 00:46:39,967 That's right, isn't it baby? 996 00:46:40,067 --> 00:46:41,567 Mum-mum's second chance. 997 00:46:41,667 --> 00:46:44,533 [ceilidh music] 998 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,067 [music playing] 999 00:47:32,867 --> 00:47:33,733 Time gentlemen, please. 1000 00:47:36,733 --> 00:47:39,900 Oh, well, in that case, I'll have another one. 1001 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,900 Give us the rest of the bell back first. 1002 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:42,800 Me? 1003 00:47:42,900 --> 00:47:44,467 Why is it always me? 1004 00:47:44,567 --> 00:47:46,300 Give it back to us, and we'll serve ya. 1005 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,733 [bell rings] 1006 00:47:59,567 --> 00:48:01,100 [chime]