1 00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:07,133 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now nobody's saying 2 00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:09,967 that Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden 3 00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:11,933 but it's been a good home to us. 4 00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:14,433 To me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids 5 00:00:14,533 --> 00:00:17,833 who I'm proud of because every single one of them 6 00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:20,867 reminds me a little of me. 7 00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:23,333 They can all think for themselves, which 8 00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:24,900 they have me to thank for. 9 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,667 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him 10 00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:29,100 Phillip anymore. 11 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,133 Ian, a lot like his mom, which was handy for the others 12 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,267 when she disappeared into thin air. 13 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,467 And Carl. 14 00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,400 Don't dare let him grow his hair for two reasons. 15 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,100 One, it makes it stand on end and makes 16 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,500 him look like a tiger. 17 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,000 Two, nits love it. 18 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,000 Debbie, sent by God. 19 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,433 Total angel. 20 00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:47,300 You should check your change, but she'll go miles out 21 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,767 of her way to do you a favor. 22 00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:52,400 Plus, little Liam's going to be a star someday. 23 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,733 Monica, the wife. 24 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:57,200 She's back, with her bird in tow. 25 00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,000 And we can't get shot of her. 26 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:03,033 And the neighbors, the neighbors. 27 00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:05,433 Well, what can you say? 28 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,767 Nothing, if you don't want your arms broken. 29 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,033 Still, nobodies perfect. 30 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:12,200 But all of them, to a man, know first 31 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,500 and foremost, one of the most vital necessities in life 32 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,500 is they know how to throw a party. 33 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,433 Scatter. 34 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:27,933 LIP (VOICEOVER): Let's face it, blokes and women, 35 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:28,900 we want different things. 36 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,033 [baby crying] 37 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,867 She's up. 38 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,333 We have totally different skills. 39 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:35,267 Like men, the ability to be fully 40 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:39,533 entertained by watching footy scores on Ceefax. 41 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,633 Easy, lass. 42 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:43,033 Women, the ability to remember everything 43 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:45,400 ever said to them by anyone about anything. 44 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,667 And to replay any conversation, word for word 45 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:51,700 while you're watching footy scores on Ceefax. 46 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,567 And yet, it totally works. 47 00:01:54,667 --> 00:02:00,800 Because men need women and women need men. 48 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,433 Simple. 49 00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:03,667 Perfect in fact. 50 00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:06,067 Oh girl. 51 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,967 LIP (VOICEOVER): There are exceptions, obviously. 52 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:09,967 Puff's, Lez's-- 53 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,467 Anything for yourself in this house. 54 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,267 LIP (VOICEOVER): And our Debbie, of course. 55 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,567 See this? 56 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,467 It's been chewed. 57 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:17,833 [scream] 58 00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:21,533 LIP (VOICEOVER): What Debbie wants or needs, don't ask me. 59 00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:23,467 Never been able to work that one out. 60 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:33,433 Who the fuck are you? 61 00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:35,233 Estate agent. 62 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,067 I'm dealing with the situation. 63 00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:38,567 An Englishman's home is his castle. 64 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:41,100 As I've said, Mrs. Jackson's instructed us to sell. 65 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,100 Any problems, you need to ring her and discuss them. 66 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,767 Go on, bugger off you ass faced little twat. 67 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,533 Out on me ass. 68 00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,167 You know, just like that. 69 00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:51,833 Wasn't me who walked out on her, was it? 70 00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:54,767 I did everything I could to make the relationship work. 71 00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:57,200 Yeah, but it means you're back for good, right Dad? 72 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,467 I mean, where's the fucking justice? 73 00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,900 If I'd had been her, she'd have me banged to rights 74 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,133 for half the fucking lot. 75 00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:04,533 Yeah, except you don't own any property. 76 00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:06,467 Exactly, Phillip. 77 00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:09,133 Well, that's how much society values fathers. 78 00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:10,667 It's enough to make you put on a pair of tights 79 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,800 and join them pillocks dressed up as Batman. 80 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:15,833 I'll tell you, I am going to the fucking wall on this one, 81 00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:16,733 I tell you. 82 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,667 All property is theft. 83 00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:22,033 Never realized the truth in that until today. 84 00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:25,367 Still, you're back in your rightful place. 85 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:27,300 That's the main thing, chick. 86 00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:32,033 Carl! 87 00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,567 Get off my geography project. 88 00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:36,600 What is the point of you? 89 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,233 Well, I didn't see it, did I? 90 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:50,133 Extra strength. 91 00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:55,733 Oh, thanks, darling. 92 00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,000 When you moved in with Sheila, I 93 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,067 really missed bringing you tea. 94 00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:01,233 But then I got used to it. 95 00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,633 Don't tell mum, right but I've been saving 96 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:05,200 for a geography field trip. 97 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,700 Four nights at the wetlands center at Walton-on-the-Naze. 98 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,067 Anyway, I haven't got enough saved 99 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,033 so you might as well have some. 100 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,200 Oh, thanks, kid. 101 00:04:22,833 --> 00:04:24,233 I can sub you. 102 00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,100 Til you get some of Sheilas house money 103 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,633 back through the courts and that. 104 00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:31,233 Well, it's just not really about the money. 105 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:34,133 It's more wanting to see justice. 106 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,667 Families need fathers, don't they? 107 00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:38,000 Oh. 108 00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,500 wondered where you got to. 109 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,433 I just needed a bit of downtime, love. 110 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,767 You know, moving, it just takes it out of you. 111 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,233 Oh, Frank. 112 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:50,533 Plenty of TLC, that's what you need. 113 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,067 [music playing] 114 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,233 Way-o, way-o. 115 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,567 Angus, Shane. 116 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:07,967 [music playing] 117 00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,533 Way-o, way-o. 118 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,733 - Get some water. - Water? 119 00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,100 To throw on the dog. 120 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,467 [dog barking] 121 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:20,233 Nelson. 122 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,333 Get the dog off, man. 123 00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:23,233 Get the-- 124 00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:24,333 Nelson. 125 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:25,833 Sweet Jesus. 126 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:26,900 No, Nelson. 127 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Get to your bed. 128 00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:31,233 Sorry. 129 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,733 I thought you were business. 130 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,867 Business? 131 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,100 You know, drugs. 132 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,167 Not because of-- 133 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,233 I mean because of him. 134 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:41,133 MICKEY: Go on, get to your bed. 135 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:42,667 He was attacked trained. 136 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:44,733 Started off as a police dog until they realized that he 137 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:45,967 didn't have the temperament. 138 00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,833 But you're a red rag to a fucking 139 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,067 bull looking at him like that. 140 00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:50,233 I didn't look at him. 141 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,400 He came out of nowhere. 142 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:55,133 Welcome to the neighborhood. 143 00:05:55,233 --> 00:05:56,233 He was looking at him. 144 00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,800 It's Mickey. 145 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:00,700 Not Shane. 146 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,867 Very good boy, aren't you? 147 00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:19,800 Yeah. 148 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,200 I'm a good customer, too. 149 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,200 Oh, no not all the time. 150 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,267 Out of ice, again. 151 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:26,600 Well, I didn't finish it, did I? 152 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:27,900 Yeah, you bloody did. 153 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,200 You've been going though it like there's a sale. 154 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,133 Only because Jez told me to put as much ice 155 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:32,400 in the drinks as possible. 156 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,167 Yeah, well, it's more refreshing that way. 157 00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:35,467 For Christ's sake you two. 158 00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:36,833 It's like working with an old, married couple. 159 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:38,333 Ian. 160 00:06:38,433 --> 00:06:40,067 If we were married, I'd have taught 161 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,700 you a few manners by now. 162 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,733 Oh yeah? 163 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:44,867 Put me over your knee, would you? 164 00:06:44,967 --> 00:06:46,767 For starters. 165 00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,700 Excuse me, Mrs. McGuire. 166 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,100 Mrs. McGuire? 167 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,400 In your dreams. 168 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:56,867 MICKEY: Got any gear? 169 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:57,800 Shit. 170 00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:04,533 You're-- you're the dealer. 171 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,233 I'm not a fucking dealer, all right? 172 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,333 Right. 173 00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:09,667 I just-- I thought you were the other one. 174 00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:11,900 Ones. 175 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,033 I can get you some E's from behind the bar. 176 00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,133 No, you're all right. 177 00:07:21,267 --> 00:07:22,333 What do you think of that, then? 178 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:24,200 Fucking hell, how did you get that? 179 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,567 Bottle. 180 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,900 Psycho went for Nelson in a pub while we was off down south. 181 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,800 Had a thing for dogs, you know? 182 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,967 Touch it, if you want. 183 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:37,367 Feels well smooth. 184 00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:41,300 Well, go on it won't fucking bite. 185 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,833 IAN: Yeah. 186 00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:43,800 Don't hurt. 187 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,700 14 stitches I had. 188 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,300 Doctors said I'm lucky to be alive. 189 00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:57,167 I think we'd better go in there. 190 00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,967 - For what? - You know, if anyone comes in. 191 00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:00,867 Fuck off. 192 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:02,233 You fucking fairy. 193 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,933 Fucking little pervert. 194 00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,167 Do I look like a fucking poofter? 195 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:05,933 No. 196 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,033 Honest, Hone you don't. 197 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:11,400 But you do have a hard-on. 198 00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:36,500 I'll see to all these then shall I? 199 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,000 Not my turn. 200 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,333 You know, sometimes I wonder why I married you. 201 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,400 Though I suppose I should be grateful 202 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,867 the wife's not letting herself go. 203 00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:49,000 Yeah, well I knew when you put the ring on my finger, 204 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,500 I'd have to keep up my standards. 205 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,900 Plenty of girls would be happy to be Mrs. Jamie McGuire. 206 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,167 Damn right. 207 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,300 Of course, your mums giving it six weeks. 208 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,367 Ah, me mums just jealous because she can see I've 209 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:01,933 married the woman of my dreams. 210 00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:05,200 Nightmare more like. 211 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,033 Karen. 212 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,533 So how many kids do you want? 213 00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:08,600 Hundreds. 214 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,533 You having them? 215 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,867 I was thinking that-- 216 00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:19,767 Morning. 217 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:26,700 It's not normal. 218 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,633 He's my dad. 219 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,933 Exactly. 220 00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:30,667 It's high time you got yourself a boyfriend. 221 00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:32,833 Even Sparky Wright's not that desperate. 222 00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:33,967 Oh, piss off Carl. 223 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,067 CARL: Deb's not interested in lads. 224 00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,700 Are you Debs? - Of course I am. 225 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:37,833 LIAM: Debbie likes boys. 226 00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:40,033 Debbie likes boys. 227 00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:41,767 Leave her alone, you lot. 228 00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,000 Just a late developer, aren't you Deb? 229 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,967 - No. - Exactly. 230 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,267 That's what I'm saying. 231 00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,400 It's high time you got yourself laid, madam. 232 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,233 Mom. 233 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:50,600 Well, it's not natural is it? 234 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,267 A girl her age hanging around home all the time. 235 00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:56,067 Unless of course, you're the other way. 236 00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,500 You mean like you used to be? 237 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,033 Before you decided to use me dad as a meal ticket. 238 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,133 LIP: Hey. 239 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,533 I need a bog roll. 240 00:10:11,733 --> 00:10:13,267 Dad, she's saying that shouldn't be hanging 241 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:14,867 around you all the time. 242 00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:16,067 You don't think I'm weird, do you 243 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:17,867 Of course not, no. 244 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,200 Well, not Weird no. 245 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,700 Just-- just like special like. 246 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:22,867 You know. 247 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:23,900 Always has been. 248 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,233 Little Debbie. 249 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,833 Yeah but she's not little anymore. 250 00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:27,767 That's the point. 251 00:10:27,867 --> 00:10:28,867 Look at her. 252 00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,300 At her age, I was running a house. 253 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,333 - I am running a house. - No. 254 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:33,633 With your dad. 255 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,600 You need to get yourself a fellow, Debbie. 256 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,300 Go on, tell her, Frank. 257 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,933 Yeah just, you know what your mum says. 258 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:41,000 She's your mum. 259 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,633 OK then. 260 00:10:57,733 --> 00:10:58,933 If that's what you want. 261 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,000 Debs. 262 00:11:02,633 --> 00:11:07,700 Normal, ribbed, extra strong, or flavored? 263 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,567 What flavors have you got? 264 00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:13,900 Fruit cocktail, banofee pie, chicken balti. 265 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,900 Don't bother with that one. 266 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,900 - Just normal then. - 560, love. 267 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,167 So 268 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:21,067 I haven't seen you with a lad, Debbie love. 269 00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,867 It's not that Wright boy, is it? 270 00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:24,500 Sparky Wright. 271 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,633 Is it? 272 00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:26,800 Is it? 273 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:27,833 No. 274 00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:30,033 He's just a lad. 275 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,500 Think we've upset her. 276 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,267 You all right. 277 00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:50,400 Hey, Hey, oh. 278 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,200 ALL: Hey. 279 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:57,000 Hey, Spider, I think she fancies you. 280 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,767 Hey, you got a girlfriend? 281 00:11:58,867 --> 00:11:59,667 No. 282 00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:06,867 We split up. 283 00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:09,333 Ideally, I think intercourse should happen in the context 284 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:10,567 of a loving relationship. 285 00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:11,800 You what? 286 00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,400 You shouldn't shag someone if you don't like them. 287 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,033 How would you get laid then? 288 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,733 It's my turn to bring those in. 289 00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:26,267 Yeah, well teamwork. 290 00:12:26,367 --> 00:12:28,233 That's what married life's all about, isn't it? 291 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:29,600 Is it? 292 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,067 I thought it was always about someone to blame when you're 293 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,100 life turns out to be shit. 294 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,167 Yeah, well that too. 295 00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:38,767 Talking of which, I realized we've been putting 296 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,167 the cart before the horse. 297 00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:41,733 Time to make an honest woman out you. 298 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,833 Karen, I'm sorry. OK? 299 00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:49,967 What have I done? 300 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,700 It's a big fucking joke isn't it? 301 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,733 Karen bike. bike. 302 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,133 Karen the big laugh. 303 00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,400 Who would want to marry you? 304 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,067 Well, she's good for a jump or a blow job. 305 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,200 Well, that's it. 306 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,067 Well, I'm not laughing, all right? 307 00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:00,000 I'm not joking. 308 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,433 I wouldn't marry you. 309 00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:03,167 What? 310 00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:05,800 It's not a joke. 311 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:07,433 Will you fucking marry me? 312 00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,500 Why? 313 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,633 What do you mean, why? 314 00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:20,633 You don't even know me, Jamie. 315 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,567 Yeah, I do. 316 00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,433 I see you every day. 317 00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:25,400 You're the only one when I come out of prison, that didn't 318 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,133 treat me like a fucking psycho. 319 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:32,233 You must realize I fancy the ass off you. 320 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,500 Yeah. 321 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,267 But getting married. 322 00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:40,867 We could try going on a date first. 323 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,067 Fuck all that. 324 00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:46,000 I've lost 10 years of my life. 325 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,333 I know what I want from the rest of it. 326 00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:49,233 You. 327 00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:08,367 MONICA: Frank? 328 00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,067 You all right in there, love? 329 00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,867 It's not your old trouble is it? 330 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,100 When did you last go? 331 00:14:30,633 --> 00:14:33,300 Hey, you shouldn't be chucking stuff in there. 332 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,233 Especially if it is not biodegradable. 333 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,367 What was it, a crisp packet? 334 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:41,567 No. 335 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:42,467 What are you anyway? 336 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,667 The litter police? 337 00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:45,133 Just care about the environment. 338 00:14:45,233 --> 00:14:46,600 Oh, good for you. 339 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,767 At my old school, right, I was out with this project, 340 00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:50,167 clearing out the canal. 341 00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:51,700 It was totally minging some of the stuff we got out. 342 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,967 I had to call the old trolley's back to the seafood market. 343 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,800 Made nearly 20 quid. 344 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,567 some of them didn't even have wheels. 345 00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:00,533 Like free money or what. 346 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,300 You fancy me? 347 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,233 Yeah. 348 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:06,367 Do you want to go out later then? 349 00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:09,233 We could take some stuff down to the recycling center. 350 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,533 After tea, half nine. 351 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:12,467 All right. 352 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:18,200 It's not for you. 353 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,700 It's for the baby. 354 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,433 What fucking baby? 355 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:23,767 Everyone knows, Jez. 356 00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,733 There's no shame in going with a fellow now and again. 357 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:29,433 Even if you are on the other bus. 358 00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,600 It's a surrogate pregnancy, Lillian. 359 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:34,067 And the only thing that touched me was a fucking turkey baster. 360 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,300 And that baby will be out of me and down to Swindon 361 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,400 before the four grand has a chance to hit me bank account. 362 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,400 So no knitwear, thank you very much. 363 00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:47,367 You know, I thought that gauge was loose on them needles. 364 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:58,667 People are going to start talking. 365 00:15:58,767 --> 00:15:59,600 Fuck off. 366 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:00,633 I'm off home, aren't I? 367 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,033 Fuck off. 368 00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:20,167 There's no one in. 369 00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:22,467 Me mom and dad are at their Irish dancing lesson. 370 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:45,433 [music playing] 371 00:16:45,533 --> 00:16:47,433 Somebody's been 372 00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,400 Nelson. 373 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,400 Nelson. 374 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,400 Out. 375 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,333 [music playing] 376 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,233 Hey, hey, hey. 377 00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:57,800 Somebody will always crash and burn. 378 00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,800 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 379 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:05,400 Surrender. 380 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,400 Surrender. 381 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,367 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 382 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,233 Sweet. 383 00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:28,433 Fucking hell. 384 00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:31,900 What is it? 385 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,267 Haven't even cut it yet. 386 00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,200 Stuff we sell around here is mostly baby formula. 387 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,367 Little Kate is probably getting more 388 00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:39,233 of a buzz than the punters. 389 00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:42,167 Haven't seen that new disabled sticker, have you? 390 00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:45,833 Those bastard traffic wardens down at community center. 391 00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,267 There's no messing with them. 392 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,767 I don't want your mother doing another stretch for GBH. 393 00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:51,300 It's not-- 394 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,067 That Panamanian gear, makes you sweat like a fucking pig, 395 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,433 huh? BOTH: Yeah. 396 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,467 I-- I-- 397 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:56,500 Yeah, well don't get a taste for it. 398 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,267 You couldn't afford it. 399 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:02,933 Look at you. 400 00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:04,367 like a pair of fucking queers there. 401 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:07,800 Fuck. 402 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,833 Shit. 403 00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,867 I haven't had a close call like that since my mom nearly walked 404 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,333 in on Nelson sucking us off. 405 00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:28,500 Nelson? 406 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,500 Yeah. 407 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,300 I was about 13, right. 408 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,333 Dad broke both my arms for dealing on his patch. 409 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:35,900 I was plaster up to here. 410 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,267 Going mad for a wank. 411 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,667 I mean, how horny are you when you're 13? 412 00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,267 Talk about a man's best friend. 413 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:48,633 Excuse me. 414 00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:02,733 Debbie. 415 00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,067 Turkey dinosaurs. 416 00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:04,967 I'm off out. 417 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:07,267 Got a date. 418 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,000 Fuck off. 419 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:08,933 Who with? 420 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:10,000 Luke. 421 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,100 You know. 422 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:14,533 Forget it. 423 00:19:14,633 --> 00:19:15,367 Anyway I've got my key. 424 00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:16,733 Might not be home till late. 425 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,000 Or I might stay out. 426 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,100 You shagging him? 427 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,467 - Probably. - Debbie. 428 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:21,300 What? 429 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,333 You all had a go at me before. 430 00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,400 Why shouldn't I have a sex life everyone else? 431 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:29,033 It's just that well, have a word, Mum? 432 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:33,933 Right. 433 00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,400 Well, you could always go on the pill. 434 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,567 Although if you're like me, it'll make you retain more 435 00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:38,867 water than Galton reservoir. 436 00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:42,433 But, if you're serious about this lad, 437 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:47,133 maybe you should put your name down early for a council flat. 438 00:19:47,233 --> 00:19:48,600 - Talk to her. - Debbie. 439 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,367 Go on. 440 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:12,233 Debbie, when a man and a woman come together, 441 00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:16,067 the union of two beings-- 442 00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,000 Dad, it's no big deal. 443 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,633 One, I'm going to use a condom. 444 00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:21,733 I mean, there's chlamydia's to think of, apart 445 00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,033 from the contraceptive issues. 446 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,067 And two, with all the gymnastics I've done, 447 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,233 I probably have no hymen left. 448 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,567 I've fried the beans in the bacon fat, Karen. 449 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,900 That's the secret. 450 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,100 It's delicious. 451 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,233 Have to show me how. 452 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:45,067 Mum, do we have to have Nelson licking around everywhere? 453 00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:46,467 It's not exactly hygienic. 454 00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:47,533 Don't start. 455 00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:50,933 Don't talk to me about fucking Nelson. 456 00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:53,367 Do you like dogs, Karen? 457 00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:54,467 Yeah. 458 00:20:54,567 --> 00:20:55,933 Well, wait till the baby's born before you 459 00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:57,367 think about getting one. 460 00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:59,467 You never know how they'll be with the little one. 461 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:00,800 Christ, no. 462 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,400 Do you remember taking our Shane down for them stitches? 463 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:03,700 Poor wee bastard. 464 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,567 Reconstructive surgery my arse. 465 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:12,567 - Baby? - Karen's not pregnant, Mum. 466 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:20,767 We thought we'd try getting married first. 467 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:27,800 Well, there's a first time for everything. 468 00:21:36,067 --> 00:21:38,067 Do you fancy the dog? 469 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,767 That went well. 470 00:21:42,867 --> 00:21:43,700 No. 471 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,400 They really like you. 472 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:49,400 Jamie, she nearly broke me fucking arm. 473 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:52,633 [cheering] 474 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,367 It's just her way of welcoming you into the family. 475 00:21:58,467 --> 00:22:00,967 Seriously, you were a big hit. 476 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:01,967 Oh, well-- 477 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:03,033 Oh sorry. 478 00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:06,500 Well? 479 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,433 No. 480 00:22:19,133 --> 00:22:22,267 Don't you think it's a bit weird, us getting engaged? 481 00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:23,367 No. 482 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,833 I know my family's not exactly little house 483 00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:26,000 on the fucking prairie, Karen. 484 00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,967 But I'm my own man. 485 00:22:29,067 --> 00:22:31,833 I don't mean your family. 486 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:37,367 I mean us not having you know, done it. 487 00:22:37,467 --> 00:22:39,267 What is it? 488 00:22:39,367 --> 00:22:41,300 Is it me being inexperienced? 489 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,200 No. 490 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,667 I was inside for 10 years. 491 00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:48,200 That? 492 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,800 I don't mind who's bitch you were. 493 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:51,100 No, I wasn't. 494 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,000 I mean, Dad warned them off. 495 00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,567 But well, apart from copping the odd 496 00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:59,167 feel from this art therapist who used to visit a few years back. 497 00:22:59,267 --> 00:23:02,600 And you do the maths. 498 00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,700 You're a virgin? 499 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,267 I might as well be. 500 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,000 I don't think it's going to be a problem. 501 00:23:28,467 --> 00:23:29,500 What's this? 502 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,900 The fucking honeymoon? 503 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,300 Oh, the bastard heart burn again. 504 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,167 There's an all night chemist down Birchington Lane. 505 00:23:36,267 --> 00:23:39,100 Well, I can't go in my condition, can I? 506 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,200 Need 12 hours sleep or I'm fit for naught. 507 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:46,567 Don't wait up then. 508 00:23:46,667 --> 00:23:49,233 [long belch] 509 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:09,700 DEBBIE: You're late. 510 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,067 Only two minutes. 511 00:24:11,167 --> 00:24:13,200 Well, a minute five seconds if you're counting. 512 00:24:17,533 --> 00:24:18,367 Nice. 513 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,067 So what were you thinking we'd do then? 514 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,267 It's all right. 515 00:24:34,367 --> 00:24:36,667 I want to. 516 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:37,633 What's up? 517 00:24:37,733 --> 00:24:39,167 Are you gay? 518 00:24:39,267 --> 00:24:41,033 No. 519 00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:42,167 It's not-- it's not that. 520 00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:43,933 I thought you fancied me. 521 00:24:44,033 --> 00:24:45,967 I do. 522 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,367 I brought my own. 523 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,500 What is it? 524 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,633 What is it, Luke? 525 00:24:52,733 --> 00:24:54,933 There's something you need to know about me. 526 00:24:55,033 --> 00:24:55,933 Oh, no. 527 00:24:56,033 --> 00:24:57,533 Get lost, leave me alone. 528 00:24:57,633 --> 00:24:58,533 Debbie! 529 00:24:58,633 --> 00:25:00,600 Debbie, come back. 530 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:01,533 Debbie! 531 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,100 Debbie! 532 00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:36,267 Morning. 533 00:25:37,133 --> 00:25:38,167 How are you? 534 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,933 What are you doing up so early? 535 00:25:43,033 --> 00:25:44,000 You know. 536 00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:48,367 I haven't been back since last night. 537 00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:51,767 Luke. 538 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,067 I've been having sex with Luke. 539 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:03,567 What was it like? 540 00:26:03,667 --> 00:26:04,700 Yeah great. 541 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,633 It was great. 542 00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:06,900 Was it? 543 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,967 How many times? 544 00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:11,467 About five or six. 545 00:26:22,467 --> 00:26:23,300 Morning. 546 00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:35,867 Hey, don't fucking do that. 547 00:26:35,967 --> 00:26:36,767 I'm sorry. 548 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:43,700 It really is a bit risky, here Mickey. 549 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,700 You know. 550 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:45,633 Oh, OK. 551 00:26:49,767 --> 00:26:50,767 Came to bring you this. 552 00:26:50,867 --> 00:26:51,667 An iPod? 553 00:26:51,767 --> 00:26:52,867 You didn't buy it did you? 554 00:26:52,967 --> 00:26:53,833 Yeah. 555 00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:55,067 From our Shane. 556 00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:56,600 He knocked the lottery off last Thursday. 557 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:57,767 Oh, cheers. 558 00:27:05,033 --> 00:27:06,433 Maybe see you after work then? 559 00:27:06,533 --> 00:27:07,733 Yeah. 560 00:27:07,833 --> 00:27:08,667 Maybe. 561 00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:14,033 Fuck off, then. 562 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,667 Sunrise sunsets. 563 00:27:42,767 --> 00:27:46,133 Sunrise sunsets. 564 00:27:46,233 --> 00:27:49,067 Swiftly through the days. 565 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:54,133 Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers. 566 00:27:54,233 --> 00:27:55,500 It's normal, Frank. 567 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:56,233 What is? 568 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:58,667 Debbie getting laid. 569 00:27:58,767 --> 00:27:59,600 Well, it is. 570 00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:00,733 Who's the lad, you know? 571 00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:03,233 Luke something or other. 572 00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,000 Moved in across there. 573 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,100 The colored family? 574 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,000 You can't say colored nowadays. 575 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:10,233 Well, what are you supposed to call them then? 576 00:28:10,333 --> 00:28:11,567 Them. 577 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:12,767 Afro-caribbeans. 578 00:28:12,867 --> 00:28:14,033 Oh, give over. 579 00:28:14,133 --> 00:28:15,533 Who says that? 580 00:28:15,633 --> 00:28:17,733 Anyway you must have gotten the wrong end of the stick. 581 00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:20,967 I know that lot from when I lived over on the Willby. 582 00:28:21,067 --> 00:28:22,067 The Newman's. 583 00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:23,667 I'd be very surprised if Debbie's 584 00:28:23,767 --> 00:28:25,133 carrying on with the son. 585 00:28:25,233 --> 00:28:26,467 Why's that then? 586 00:28:26,567 --> 00:28:28,600 They're religious. 587 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:31,867 12th day Reform Pentecostalists. 588 00:28:31,967 --> 00:28:35,067 I dabbled a bit myself a while back but it wasn't for me. 589 00:28:35,167 --> 00:28:39,167 Oh, not the fucking god squad. 590 00:28:39,267 --> 00:28:41,433 50% of your income to the church. 591 00:28:44,867 --> 00:28:46,500 And strictly no sex before marriage. 592 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,667 So if Debbie sets a cap on young what's his face, 593 00:28:48,767 --> 00:28:50,167 they'll have her down the aisle before you 594 00:28:50,267 --> 00:28:51,800 can say Jack Robinson. 595 00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:54,433 50 fucking percent. 596 00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:56,733 Worse than the fucking Catholics. 597 00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:58,000 Worse than the fucking Christians. 598 00:28:58,100 --> 00:28:59,633 Catholics are Christians. 599 00:28:59,733 --> 00:29:01,200 Oh, fuck off. 600 00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:02,733 Pound of the fucking flesh. 601 00:29:02,833 --> 00:29:03,933 Frank, Debbie likes this lad. 602 00:29:04,033 --> 00:29:05,233 What good are you going to do laying down 603 00:29:05,333 --> 00:29:06,467 the law to his Mum and dad? 604 00:29:06,567 --> 00:29:07,467 She's got a point. 605 00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:08,467 Oh, excuse me. 606 00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:09,867 This is my daughter. 607 00:29:09,967 --> 00:29:11,700 Every father's worst fucking nightmare. 608 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,567 Dad, meet my boyfriend, the Reverend fucking Chisel Arse. 609 00:29:15,667 --> 00:29:16,500 Fuck off. 610 00:29:19,567 --> 00:29:20,400 Dad. 611 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:32,333 Hey, pointy tits, fancy a shag or what? 612 00:29:32,433 --> 00:29:35,133 Yeah. 613 00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:36,567 I said, yeah. 614 00:29:36,667 --> 00:29:37,400 Nah sorry. 615 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,267 Don't do donations to charity. 616 00:29:42,967 --> 00:29:43,967 Tonight? 617 00:29:44,067 --> 00:29:45,200 I know it's a bit previous but I 618 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:46,633 thought it'd be nice for you to meet some 619 00:29:46,733 --> 00:29:48,933 of the extended family, love. 620 00:29:49,033 --> 00:29:50,267 And if your future mother-in-law can't 621 00:29:50,367 --> 00:29:54,067 give you a hand out, who can? 622 00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:57,467 Of course, it might not be your cup of tea. 623 00:29:57,567 --> 00:29:58,733 No, it's just-- 624 00:29:58,833 --> 00:30:03,200 It's just I know our Jamie's keen for us to get on. 625 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:03,967 Yeah. 626 00:30:04,067 --> 00:30:05,133 I'd love to. 627 00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:06,667 it's really nice of you, Mimi. 628 00:30:06,767 --> 00:30:10,733 I just had an arrangement. 629 00:30:10,833 --> 00:30:14,133 Which I'll rearrange, obviously. 630 00:30:14,233 --> 00:30:16,900 You see, Karen love, it's true what they say. 631 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,633 A son's a son til he gets a wife. 632 00:30:19,733 --> 00:30:22,133 A daughter in law's yours for all of her life. 633 00:30:25,533 --> 00:30:28,267 Still on to fuck your brains out tonight? 634 00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:29,900 Your mum just asked me out as it happens. 635 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,033 Oh, it's not going to be an all nighter, is it 636 00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:32,967 Hope not. 637 00:30:33,067 --> 00:30:35,200 Christ, me too. 638 00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:38,000 You see, I told you she liked you. 639 00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:39,067 You're just paranoid. 640 00:30:41,533 --> 00:30:44,667 So Mr. Gallagher, you're concerned about my son 641 00:30:44,767 --> 00:30:46,933 seeing your daughter? - Is this true, Luke? 642 00:30:47,033 --> 00:30:49,767 You've been courting this girl? 643 00:30:49,867 --> 00:30:50,900 No, not courting. 644 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000 Just-- 645 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:53,367 Can I speak? 646 00:30:53,467 --> 00:30:54,967 Please? 647 00:30:55,067 --> 00:31:05,533 My concern, if I can put it this way, is lifestyle. 648 00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:07,567 Lifestyle? 649 00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:10,900 Debbie's lifestyle. 650 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,233 She's well, let me put it like this, 651 00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:19,167 I wouldn't be that keen on any son of mine 652 00:31:19,267 --> 00:31:20,767 hanging around with her. 653 00:31:20,867 --> 00:31:23,867 I'm not sure I catch your drift, Mr. Gallagher. 654 00:31:23,967 --> 00:31:26,233 Jesus. 655 00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:30,367 It's a terrible thing to have to say about your own daughter. 656 00:31:30,467 --> 00:31:36,933 But to be honest, she likes to-- 657 00:31:37,033 --> 00:31:42,267 to-- Samson and Delilah. 658 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:43,900 Jason and the Argonauts. 659 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:44,800 Sodom. 660 00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:46,467 Jezebel. 661 00:31:46,567 --> 00:31:50,500 Yeah, she is a jezebel through and through. 662 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,400 Isn't she, Phillip? 663 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,633 I mean, I'd have him checked out, if I was you. 664 00:32:08,733 --> 00:32:10,267 Should have listened, then shouldn't you? 665 00:32:10,367 --> 00:32:12,533 Jezebel through and through. 666 00:32:12,633 --> 00:32:13,300 Nice one, Dad. 667 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,400 Well, it worked, didn't it? 668 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:18,200 I won't touch her with a fucking barge pole from now. 669 00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:23,367 Or 50% of the fucking barge pole. 670 00:32:23,467 --> 00:32:24,100 Lip. 671 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,067 The state of you. 672 00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:29,000 I still feel a bit sick, actually. 673 00:32:29,100 --> 00:32:31,100 What are doing, going on the lash? 674 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,867 You're supposed to be at school. 675 00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:35,933 Spider and has mates seen me. 676 00:32:36,033 --> 00:32:37,233 Spider? 677 00:32:37,333 --> 00:32:40,167 You don't think that's his real name, do you? 678 00:32:40,267 --> 00:32:41,967 I don't think I'm going to school ever again. 679 00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:43,533 Why not? 680 00:32:43,633 --> 00:32:45,600 What's been going on with you and this Spider lad? 681 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:46,500 Nothing. 682 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,800 That's what's been going on, right? 683 00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:50,100 Absolutely nothing. 684 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,600 I don't get it, Debs. 685 00:32:51,700 --> 00:32:54,400 I thought all you were into was Luke five minutes back. 686 00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:55,367 Luke's lovely. 687 00:32:55,467 --> 00:32:58,500 But he wouldn't do with me, either. 688 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,133 God says it's wrong. 689 00:33:00,233 --> 00:33:01,767 No one wants me, Lip. 690 00:33:01,867 --> 00:33:03,200 You mean you haven't shagged him? 691 00:33:03,300 --> 00:33:04,667 I told you, he wouldn't. 692 00:33:04,767 --> 00:33:09,200 He said God might see us and smite us down. 693 00:33:09,300 --> 00:33:11,900 And I tried to do it with Spider so you and mom everyone 694 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,933 couldn't get at me anymore. 695 00:33:14,033 --> 00:33:14,900 He just laughed at me. 696 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:15,800 It was horrible. 697 00:33:21,067 --> 00:33:22,533 Oh, Lip. 698 00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:26,300 [knocking at door] 699 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,767 Just live and learn, Deb. 700 00:33:28,867 --> 00:33:32,333 Well, this whole business is 90% fiction, 10% friction. 701 00:33:37,133 --> 00:33:38,500 Hello, Mr. Gallagher. 702 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,433 I wanted to see Debbie. 703 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:45,200 Hi-ya. 704 00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:46,600 Hi-ya. 705 00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:52,200 I just wanted to say you know, I understand 706 00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:54,867 about you being a bit of slag. 707 00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:56,667 Probably just low self-esteem and that. 708 00:34:15,833 --> 00:34:17,600 Hi-ya. 709 00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:18,500 I missed you. 710 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,733 Did you miss me? 711 00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:21,833 What are they? 712 00:34:21,933 --> 00:34:24,033 I got them from the travel agent. 713 00:34:24,133 --> 00:34:26,367 Thought we might get away together. 714 00:34:26,467 --> 00:34:28,133 Mykonos, Ibiza. 715 00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:29,633 Are you fucking mental? 716 00:34:29,733 --> 00:34:30,800 We can go off season. 717 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:32,300 I'm not going on holiday with you. 718 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:42,000 I don't want to you know, go out with you. 719 00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:43,300 All right? 720 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,533 Is it because of what I told you about Nelson? 721 00:34:45,633 --> 00:34:46,900 No. 722 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:54,600 It's just-- look, we're good but it's not going to carry on. 723 00:34:54,700 --> 00:34:59,400 I mean, you, me, we'd be dead meat if anyone finds out. 724 00:34:59,500 --> 00:35:00,333 You know we would. 725 00:35:05,067 --> 00:35:05,967 But I love you. 726 00:35:06,067 --> 00:35:07,467 Oh, fuck. No, you don't. 727 00:35:07,567 --> 00:35:08,267 I do. 728 00:35:08,367 --> 00:35:11,300 All these fucking feelings. 729 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,767 You're the only one who understands. 730 00:35:12,867 --> 00:35:14,000 I don't. 731 00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:15,567 Honest. I don't. 732 00:35:15,667 --> 00:35:16,467 I fucking love you. 733 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,067 And if it takes telling me mum and dad about us 734 00:35:25,167 --> 00:35:27,367 and how I feel, that's what I'm going to do. 735 00:35:27,467 --> 00:35:28,300 What you mean? 736 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,967 I'm going to tell them how I feel. 737 00:35:30,067 --> 00:35:31,633 Mickey. 738 00:35:31,733 --> 00:35:35,500 Mum, Dad, I've got something to tell you. 739 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,967 And it's not something I'm ashamed of. 740 00:35:37,067 --> 00:35:38,467 In fact, I'm proud. 741 00:35:38,567 --> 00:35:40,667 He taught Nelson to suck his cock. 742 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,133 Hey. 743 00:35:47,233 --> 00:35:48,633 See you later? 744 00:35:48,733 --> 00:35:50,333 Hey? 745 00:35:50,433 --> 00:35:51,300 Hen-do. 746 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,200 Hen-do. 747 00:35:58,667 --> 00:35:59,467 Mimi? 748 00:36:04,867 --> 00:36:06,200 Calm down, Mickey. 749 00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:08,600 I'll have Nelson here until it all blows over, right? 750 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:09,933 Bad choice of words. 751 00:36:10,033 --> 00:36:11,200 Fuck off, you fucking knobhead. 752 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:12,800 What do you fucking mean? 753 00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:14,100 I said, enough. 754 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,300 Unless you want me to take him back next door. 755 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,600 My dad say's he's going to have Nelson put down. 756 00:36:19,700 --> 00:36:22,133 You know what he means to me you fucking cunt. 757 00:36:25,567 --> 00:36:27,000 I fucking hate you. 758 00:36:33,567 --> 00:36:36,000 What was all that about? ALL: Don't ask. 759 00:36:40,167 --> 00:36:42,400 Wind changes, you'll stay like that. 760 00:36:48,067 --> 00:36:49,633 Right, this is the plan. 761 00:36:49,733 --> 00:36:50,867 Security is here. 762 00:36:50,967 --> 00:36:53,033 Mickey Mouse, one bloke doing the rounds. 763 00:36:53,133 --> 00:36:55,833 Back's forcible, a few yales, that's it. 764 00:36:55,933 --> 00:36:58,167 Marlene will drive down. - Hang on. 765 00:36:58,267 --> 00:37:01,367 Is this-- we're not going on a raid, are we? 766 00:37:01,467 --> 00:37:03,367 Bit of business and pleasure, Karen love. 767 00:37:03,467 --> 00:37:05,833 A few gross of digital foot massagers. 768 00:37:05,933 --> 00:37:07,033 Right. 769 00:37:07,133 --> 00:37:08,900 Me and Marlene are in while sugar tits 770 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,333 here, get's it on with the security bastard. 771 00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:12,767 Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. 772 00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:15,100 In an out, 20 tops. 773 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,233 You say you want me to cover the security guard? 774 00:37:17,333 --> 00:37:19,700 Well, it's nothing you haven't done before is it? 775 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:20,733 No. 776 00:37:20,833 --> 00:37:22,033 But why does it have to be me? 777 00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,333 I'm engaged, Mimi. 778 00:37:30,433 --> 00:37:32,233 To your son. 779 00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:34,500 It'll be our little secret, Karen love. 780 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,800 Men can be a bit funny about that sort of thing. 781 00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:38,733 Right, ladies. 782 00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:39,633 Let's go. 783 00:37:39,733 --> 00:37:41,433 8 o'clock shift change. 784 00:37:41,533 --> 00:37:44,500 Take us four hours to get out of the fucking van. 785 00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:50,300 We ready? 786 00:37:53,167 --> 00:37:55,800 No calls til the job's done. 787 00:37:55,900 --> 00:37:57,367 Cops can trace records. 788 00:37:57,467 --> 00:37:58,267 Go on. 789 00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:15,000 Debbie, you know, if this lad really likes you, 790 00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:16,933 he won't care what anyone says. - What? 791 00:38:17,033 --> 00:38:18,333 If I'm a slapper, you mean. 792 00:38:18,433 --> 00:38:20,433 No. 793 00:38:20,533 --> 00:38:21,800 Listen to me. 794 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,333 That's a bloke's word. 795 00:38:23,433 --> 00:38:25,767 It's a bloke's fucking hang up. Doesn't matter what you do. 796 00:38:25,867 --> 00:38:27,000 Or who you're doing it with. 797 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,733 As long as you're having good time, right? 798 00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:30,267 Haven't done anything. 799 00:38:30,367 --> 00:38:32,567 Not that it's for a lack of trying. 800 00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:34,633 There's no rush, Debs. 801 00:38:34,733 --> 00:38:37,100 There's always crap to set off. 802 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,167 Thing to do is to get a lad and train him up. 803 00:38:40,267 --> 00:38:42,000 This one that you like. 804 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,967 Luke. He's religious. 805 00:38:44,067 --> 00:38:45,033 Dead religious. 806 00:38:45,133 --> 00:38:47,000 His parents are, you mean? 807 00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:48,467 He's a 15-year-old lad. 808 00:38:48,567 --> 00:38:53,100 The choice between you and Jesus, no contest. 809 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,867 Mean that beard's minging, for a start. 810 00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:57,933 And there's the sandals. 811 00:38:58,033 --> 00:39:00,267 Anyway, your hair's better. 812 00:39:00,367 --> 00:39:02,000 It's going to take a bit more than your dad and Lip 813 00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:04,367 going around and telling tales to his mum and dad 814 00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:05,167 to put him off. 815 00:39:05,267 --> 00:39:07,033 Dad and Dad and Lip? 816 00:39:07,133 --> 00:39:10,067 Yeah, you know saying you're a loose woman. 817 00:39:10,167 --> 00:39:12,100 I thought it was Spider. 818 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:13,300 Dad and Lip. 819 00:39:18,767 --> 00:39:20,633 Who are you? 820 00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,133 Pizza. 821 00:39:22,233 --> 00:39:25,667 I can't believe I actually forgot the pizza. 822 00:39:25,767 --> 00:39:28,333 It's my first night. 823 00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:33,367 Yeah, but like I said, I hadn't ordered any pizza. 824 00:39:33,467 --> 00:39:35,200 Well, that's all right then. 825 00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:36,300 Might keep my job. 826 00:39:40,433 --> 00:39:42,533 So it's just you here on your own then is it? 827 00:39:42,633 --> 00:39:43,433 Yeah. 828 00:39:43,533 --> 00:39:44,333 Nobby no mates. 829 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:49,000 Nobby? 830 00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:51,033 It's just a figure of speech. 831 00:39:53,667 --> 00:39:56,400 You and nobby up for a bit of fun? 832 00:39:59,267 --> 00:40:01,233 All right steady on, steady on Deb. 833 00:40:01,333 --> 00:40:06,200 It's just one little sticks and stones may hurt my bones but-- 834 00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:09,167 but I did it for all the right reasons. 835 00:40:09,267 --> 00:40:10,400 You know, to protect you. 836 00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:11,233 Protect me? 837 00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:13,800 Flesh of my flesh. 838 00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:15,033 Protect young. 839 00:40:15,133 --> 00:40:16,467 Born free, all that. 840 00:40:16,567 --> 00:40:19,433 They're not your standard happy flapper's Deb. 841 00:40:19,533 --> 00:40:21,967 They say 50%. 842 00:40:22,067 --> 00:40:23,367 Half. 843 00:40:23,467 --> 00:40:24,133 Of your money. 844 00:40:24,233 --> 00:40:26,367 I haven't got any money. 845 00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:28,700 Yeah, but it's the principle of the thing though, isn't it? 846 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:29,933 Hi. 847 00:40:30,033 --> 00:40:31,967 One of you better have some bloody money 848 00:40:32,067 --> 00:40:33,500 to pay for these laxatives. 849 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,567 You say it's to protect young, right? 850 00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,100 But you haven't, had you? 851 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,767 Because I'm really like Luke. 852 00:40:38,867 --> 00:40:40,000 And now he thinks I'm a slapper. 853 00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:41,433 I'm warning everyone. 854 00:40:41,533 --> 00:40:43,467 You've been on their side saying I should do it. 855 00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:45,633 When it turns out, you don't even care about that. 856 00:40:45,733 --> 00:40:47,000 You don't care about me. 857 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:48,533 All you care about is your body money. 858 00:40:48,633 --> 00:40:50,233 You're useless, you. 859 00:40:50,333 --> 00:40:51,000 Debbie. 860 00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:51,900 Debbie. 861 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,367 Debbie, please, love. 862 00:40:59,567 --> 00:41:00,367 Fuck. 863 00:41:00,467 --> 00:41:02,100 What can I do? 864 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,233 I'll do anything. 865 00:41:04,333 --> 00:41:06,467 Come on, you name it. 866 00:41:06,567 --> 00:41:08,000 I'm begging you. 867 00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:11,833 I am a proud man and I'm begging you. 868 00:41:11,933 --> 00:41:14,033 Money. 869 00:41:14,133 --> 00:41:16,933 I want 120 quid for the trip to Walton-on-the-Naze. 870 00:41:17,033 --> 00:41:18,200 And some for spends. 871 00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:19,300 Then, we can talk. 872 00:41:24,767 --> 00:41:25,567 Fuck. 873 00:41:29,567 --> 00:41:30,367 Oh, fuck. 874 00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:05,167 [stomach gurgling] 875 00:42:05,267 --> 00:42:06,067 Oh. 876 00:42:09,033 --> 00:42:13,633 SECURITY GUARD: Oh, oh, oh. 877 00:42:13,733 --> 00:42:18,700 Oh, Jamie's going to fucking love this. 878 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,867 Ah, oh, fuck yeah. 879 00:42:22,967 --> 00:42:24,333 Ah. 880 00:42:24,433 --> 00:42:26,100 Smile for the camera, Karen. 881 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,233 All right, Mimi. 882 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:40,733 Hey, tell your friend she can join in and all. 883 00:42:47,967 --> 00:42:53,233 As you can see, this is the living room, kitchen, en suite. 884 00:42:53,333 --> 00:42:55,133 This is the bedroom. 885 00:42:55,233 --> 00:42:56,400 The bathroom. 886 00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:58,967 Ooh yes. 887 00:42:59,067 --> 00:43:01,600 The eagle has fucking landed. 888 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:24,100 It's 200 quid. 889 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,000 Here, that do ya? 890 00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:29,033 A pound of flesh. 891 00:43:29,133 --> 00:43:29,967 Where did you get it? 892 00:43:30,067 --> 00:43:32,033 Need to know, Deb. 893 00:43:32,133 --> 00:43:32,933 Ways and means. 894 00:43:33,033 --> 00:43:35,300 MARLIN: 240, 250. 895 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,600 That is a one off, all right? 896 00:43:37,700 --> 00:43:38,933 No more guest appearances. 897 00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,267 Gentleman's agreement, Marlin. 898 00:43:40,367 --> 00:43:42,500 Won't see hide nor hair from now on. 899 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,433 They were going to make a fucking offer, you know? 900 00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:47,633 Debbie, love. 901 00:43:51,067 --> 00:43:53,367 Everything all right? 902 00:43:53,467 --> 00:43:54,267 He's all yours. 903 00:44:42,667 --> 00:44:43,467 Hello. 904 00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:46,900 Good night? 905 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,467 Yeah. 906 00:44:48,567 --> 00:44:49,433 Good. 907 00:44:49,533 --> 00:44:50,367 Really good. 908 00:44:58,700 --> 00:45:00,167 Is this OK? 909 00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:08,100 Try. 910 00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:28,800 Done you some sandwiches. 911 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:31,000 It's a long way to-- 912 00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:32,000 Walton-on-the-Naze. 913 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,067 Maze, Naze. 914 00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:34,400 Whatever. 915 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:39,900 Anyway, no egg. 916 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,033 Just cheese and pickle. 917 00:45:42,133 --> 00:45:44,067 Don't want any teasing of course, do we? 918 00:45:44,167 --> 00:45:47,800 BOTH: Eww, who's let one go? 919 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:48,900 Stinker. 920 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,067 That's for saying I'm a slapper. 921 00:45:51,167 --> 00:45:52,233 See you later. 922 00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:57,633 Sigmund Freud, right? 923 00:45:57,733 --> 00:45:59,300 Father of modern psychoanalysis. 924 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,800 Inventor of penis envy and all that bollocks. 925 00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:05,067 Said he never worked out what it is a woman truly wants. 926 00:46:05,167 --> 00:46:08,000 In man's case, he reckoned it was down to two things. 927 00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:09,800 Work and love. 928 00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:11,900 Obviously, never met my dad. 929 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,300 So what did you tell them, then? 930 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,033 LIP (VOICEOVER): As for our Debbie, well-- 931 00:46:14,133 --> 00:46:14,867 Same as you. 932 00:46:14,967 --> 00:46:16,033 Walton-on-the-Naze. 933 00:46:16,133 --> 00:46:18,000 Said it was gospel camp. 934 00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:20,300 Gospel camp? 935 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,633 What are you now, one of the commandments or something? 936 00:46:22,733 --> 00:46:23,533 Stop. 937 00:46:23,633 --> 00:46:25,000 Get off. 938 00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:27,567 Such a weakling. 939 00:46:27,667 --> 00:46:29,133 I'm letting you win. 940 00:46:33,633 --> 00:46:34,933 LIP (VOICEOVER): Turns out our Debbie's 941 00:46:35,033 --> 00:46:36,933 not that different after all. 942 00:46:37,033 --> 00:46:40,000 Like most women, what she wants is love, 943 00:46:40,100 --> 00:46:42,000 work, and her own fucking way. 944 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,500 [man vocalizing] 945 00:47:25,767 --> 00:47:28,433 [sobbing]