1 00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:05,700 [music playing] 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,833 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now nobody's saying that Chatsworth Estate 3 00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:11,867 is the Garden of Eden, but it's been a gold home to us, to me, 4 00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:14,200 Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who 5 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,933 I'm proud of because every single one of them 6 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:19,900 reminds me a little of me. 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,367 They can all think for themselves, which 8 00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:25,333 they've got me to thank for. 9 00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:28,533 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him 10 00:00:28,633 --> 00:00:30,067 Philip anymore. 11 00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:32,533 Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others 12 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,633 because she's disappeared into thin air. 13 00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:36,000 And Carl. 14 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,567 We darent let him grow his hair for two reasons. 15 00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:40,467 One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah. 16 00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:41,833 Two, nits love it. 17 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:44,467 Debbie, sent by God, total angel. 18 00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,900 You have to check your change, but she'll go miles out 19 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,800 of her way to do you a favor. 20 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:52,533 Plus lickle Liam, who's going to be a star some day. 21 00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:53,733 Sheila, me bird. 22 00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:54,900 Couldn't be happier. 23 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,600 One plate short of a full set, like. 24 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:00,567 And fantastic neighbors Kev and Veronica. 25 00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:01,567 Lend you anything. 26 00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:02,600 Well almost anything. 27 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,367 Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell. 28 00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:08,867 Last of the lonely hearts and a psychologist's wet dream. 29 00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:10,333 Still, nobody's perfect. 30 00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:14,333 But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost one 31 00:01:14,433 --> 00:01:16,800 of the most vital necessities in life 32 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,500 is they know how to throw a party! 33 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,633 [laughs] 34 00:01:20,733 --> 00:01:21,900 Scatter! 35 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,067 [music playing] 36 00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:29,167 SHEILA (VOICEOVER): I was always a terrible sleeper 37 00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:31,100 before I met Frank. 38 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,533 I used to have a recurring nightmare where I was trapped 39 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:35,967 in a roll of carpet when I was due to turn 40 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:38,133 on the Christmas lights in Copenhagen, 41 00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:41,700 home of the Little Mermaid. 42 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,600 It's such a lovely story, the Little Mermaid. 43 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:49,167 She loved the prince so much she agrees to lose her voice 44 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:51,067 so she could marry him. 45 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:53,867 Anyway, since Frank and I have been an item, 46 00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:56,800 I haven't had the nightmare once. 47 00:01:56,900 --> 00:02:00,100 I like to think it stopped because once I'd met Frank, 48 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,467 all my dreams have come true. 49 00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:03,900 Well, almost all. 50 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,733 The only thing I've got left to dream about 51 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,167 is the day I say "I do." 52 00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:12,633 I've put the truncheon on a boil wash. 53 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,200 [gasps] 54 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,167 [explosion] 55 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:28,533 [glass breaking] 56 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,200 Oh, fucking Countdown. 57 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,467 Don't be long, babe. 58 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:24,467 [music playing] 59 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:29,700 What the fuck you doing there? 60 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:30,633 Out of supplies. 61 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:33,967 Bingo. 62 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,900 Those are mine, actually. 63 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,067 Fuck off. 64 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,700 Expiry date, June, '06. 65 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,600 I don't think so. 66 00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:50,167 OK, from now on, it's a two-slice limit on toast. 67 00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:51,500 That's per person. 68 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,067 Otherwise, the bread budget's just a big joke. 69 00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,800 [moaning] 70 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,600 Hello? 71 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,367 Yeah, more toast, huh? 72 00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:01,067 What are you doing sleeping outside? 73 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,000 Ask Carl. 74 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,200 You had a fight? 75 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,333 Only with himself. 76 00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,100 Oi! 77 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,167 Good night, Carl. 78 00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:10,000 Surprised you got a wink of sleep. 79 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,300 CAROL: Burn! 80 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,200 Shit! 81 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:13,867 Fire! 82 00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:15,400 CAROL: Bloody hell! 83 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,267 Fire! 84 00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:19,033 Oi! 85 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,167 What was that in aid of? 86 00:04:21,267 --> 00:04:22,100 I'm sorry, Carol. 87 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,133 I-- I just reacted. 88 00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,800 I thought it were Marty. 89 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,067 Fuck are you burning? 90 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,500 Memories. 91 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,333 Suit of my dead husband, betrayed from beyond the grave. 92 00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:35,433 Man-made fiber, drip dry. 93 00:04:39,633 --> 00:04:41,600 Shall I make you a coffee, or will I 94 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,200 be disturbing a crime scene? 95 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,967 I know what it's like in CSI? 96 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,400 It's OK, Sheila. 97 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,767 So have you had a chance to sort out what's missing? 98 00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:51,067 That's the funny thing. 99 00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,400 I don't know if they were disturbed or-- oh! 100 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:54,233 Oh, my God! 101 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:56,400 They've taken my Countdown mug! 102 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,500 [sobbing] 103 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,533 Oh, bloody hell. (LOUDER) Oh, bloody hell! 104 00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,533 Well, he definitely came in the bedroom. 105 00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:08,800 Looks like he tried to disguise himself and all. 106 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,633 Oh, no. That's mine. 107 00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:20,467 Fucking idiot. 108 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:22,067 If you left that thing out, I'd probably 109 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,467 thought it was a truncheon. 110 00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:25,767 That's funny. 111 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,400 You've just broken my dream. 112 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,000 Oh, Tony, love. 113 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,833 It's an easy mistake to make. 114 00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:32,767 For me, you mean. 115 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,100 It's no wonder girls-- 116 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,567 women-- don't fancy us. 117 00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:38,100 It's like they smell it on me, Sheila. 118 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,533 It's no joke at my age, is it? 119 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,900 Oh. 120 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,800 [music playing] 121 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,333 Thieves! 122 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:52,233 Hi. 123 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,300 All right, Carol. 124 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,200 Looks like your Marty's getting on OK. 125 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,200 Suits a uniform, doesn't he? 126 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:06,967 Carol, what's wrong? 127 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,633 You of all people. 128 00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,433 Stay away from me. 129 00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:14,867 MAN (ON RADIO): Shoplifter, aisle two, beige coat, female. 130 00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:15,767 Roger, received. 131 00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,633 Proceeding to aisle two. 132 00:06:17,733 --> 00:06:19,333 Carol! What's wrong? 133 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:20,267 What is it? 134 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:21,433 Her. 135 00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:22,367 Carol! 136 00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:23,433 You sure? 137 00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:24,400 Fuck! 138 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,533 She don't look like someone who'd-- 139 00:06:25,633 --> 00:06:27,200 Stop her! 140 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,967 Carol? 141 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,900 Carol! 142 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,867 What are you doing, Marty? 143 00:06:33,967 --> 00:06:35,400 Let go of me! 144 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,633 Keep hold of her! 145 00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:40,767 For the love of God, Marty, I haven't done anything! 146 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:41,700 Mom! 147 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,767 Shoplifter! 148 00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:45,667 You! 149 00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,300 Well, they're not pressing charges. 150 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,033 Five pots of Chicken Tonight and a lemon zester. 151 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:07,667 What were you playing at, mom? 152 00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:10,300 I suppose it's too much to expect a little moral support 153 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,733 from your own flesh and blood. 154 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:13,633 It was Marty's first day. 155 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:17,233 When did he ever keep a job for more than 5 minutes? 156 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,867 Anyway, if you're looking for somebody to blame, blame her. 157 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:22,367 Penny to a pound it was her that tipped off the manager. 158 00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,267 Lillian? 159 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:24,733 She's your best mate. 160 00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,167 Why would she do a thing like that? 161 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:34,467 I found it in the pocket of that suit of your dad's. 162 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,433 Christ. 163 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:43,033 You always said you thought he were 164 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:45,133 dipping his wick Jubilee year. 165 00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:47,600 Yeah, but with what's her name. 166 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,000 Terrible teeth. 167 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,267 You were too young to remember. 168 00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:56,200 We were as thick as thieves, Veronica. 169 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,300 Lillian and Brendan and me and your dad. 170 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,067 Oh, mom. 171 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,967 Oh, don't worry about me. 172 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,700 I'm not one to sit idly by. 173 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:07,900 As ye sow, so shall ye reap, you mark my words. 174 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,200 Yes, hello. 175 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:13,167 I'd like to report someone for benefit fraud. 176 00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:17,067 Chatsworth Estate, Meadow Bank Road. 177 00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:18,600 Yes, that's right. 178 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,867 Number 28. 179 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,800 [music playing] 180 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:31,400 Fucking scum. 181 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,467 Benefit fraud? 182 00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:34,633 Who do they think they're having on, eh? 183 00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:36,067 That's Big Brother, isn't it? 184 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,900 Orwell, "1984." 185 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:39,967 Sex crime! 186 00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:41,233 Sex crime! 187 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,433 Course, poor bugger'd know all about that. 188 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,933 George Orwell, real name Eric Blair. 189 00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:50,333 Lifelong socialist, so no relation to Tony. 190 00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:51,400 3.95, Frank. 191 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,633 It's the thin end of the wedge, you know. 192 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,633 Kev, what is it? 193 00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:56,933 It's roots to whatchamacallit. 194 00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:59,267 If you drive a wedge into the community, 195 00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:01,100 you can do what you like. 196 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,000 It's how Hitler started. 197 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:05,567 They're after Lillian now. 198 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:06,967 Fucking twat. 199 00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,867 Some cunt called in, didn't they? 200 00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:10,233 Looked at that poster and thought, 201 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,867 I know, I'll fuck her up. 202 00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:13,800 Why? 203 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,167 [coughs] 204 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,300 All right, mom? 205 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,667 Peanuts. 206 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,900 Keep repeating on me again. 207 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,267 Should've known better. 208 00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:23,000 They're not even paying! 209 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,100 Is that what it's come to? 210 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,900 Cause if it is, fucking Bin Laden's won, hasn't he? 211 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,500 Agincourt, Dunkirk, Live Aid. 212 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,233 Bomb the lot, may as well start again. 213 00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:34,833 I hear there's a push on. 214 00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:36,567 It's not just them posters, Frank. 215 00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,500 They're not relying on anybody calling 216 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,433 in, as if anybody would. 217 00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:41,567 Well, yeah. 218 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:43,033 No, apparently they're looking into everyone 219 00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,600 around here who's claiming. 220 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,833 Well, I'm fucked, then. 221 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,467 You and half the fucking Estate. 222 00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:48,700 We're all fucked. 223 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,533 [chatter] 224 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,767 Where did you hear that then, mom? 225 00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:57,167 Down the Community Center. 226 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,200 As soon as you can, yeah. 227 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,500 You're not a bit worried, Frank? 228 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,667 Plight of the common man, mate. 229 00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:15,600 It's never over till the fat lady fucks you over. 230 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,767 Anyway, fuckers can't get me, can they? 231 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:18,867 I'm dead. 232 00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:20,233 Yeah, but haven't you and Lillian 233 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:21,733 been claiming for her Brendan? 234 00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:30,133 Waste of money, that was. 235 00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:33,600 Went down like a fucking lead balloon. 236 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:37,567 [music playing] 237 00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:42,767 Oh-ho! 238 00:10:42,867 --> 00:10:43,767 Right, guys. 239 00:10:43,867 --> 00:10:45,767 Half the Estate are scamming it. 240 00:10:45,867 --> 00:10:47,000 They're ours for the taking. 241 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,767 Fucking parasites. 242 00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:49,700 MAN: Fit then? 243 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,600 Let's go. 244 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,433 Let's knock on every door. 245 00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:15,633 DEBBIE: Carl! 246 00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:18,767 It's Mrs. Pierce for you. 247 00:11:18,867 --> 00:11:20,400 What's she want? 248 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,933 Can you ask her what she wants? 249 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:24,033 When did your last slave die off? 250 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,067 Christ alive, Carl. What have they been feeding you? 251 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,267 Baby Bio? 252 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:37,567 We've had a call from the Social. 253 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:38,867 - Another one? - I know. 254 00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,767 I thought we'd sorted it out last time you were around. 255 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,700 Can you come, love? 256 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:42,633 Yeah, whatever. 257 00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:43,533 Still a tenner, is it? 258 00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:51,767 [music playing] 259 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,700 [knocks on door] 260 00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,900 Now then, can you confirm that there 261 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:06,433 is a child under 18 permanently resident at your address, 26 262 00:12:06,533 --> 00:12:07,600 Meadowbank Road? 263 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:08,833 Yes, we can. 264 00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:10,633 And that you are the parent or approved 265 00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:11,900 guardian of that child? 266 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,033 Last time we looked, eh, dad? 267 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,633 That's a yes, then. 268 00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:19,900 And you are currently claiming child benefit 269 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,400 for Nathan Andrew Pierce? 270 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,500 That's correct. 271 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,533 He's a big lad for 10, isn't he, Nathan? 272 00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,133 Don't know where it came from, do we, dad? 273 00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:30,933 New pair of trainers every five minutes. 274 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,367 [music playing] 275 00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:36,467 Yep, that's secure. 276 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,933 Hey, you done a good job there, Sheila. 277 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,267 They won't be bothering you again. 278 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,633 Taught myself to be handy with the power tool. 279 00:12:42,733 --> 00:12:43,733 Never looked back, really. 280 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:45,467 Never really got into DIY myself. 281 00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:01,533 I'm too quick, right? 282 00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:04,067 It's like I'm in there, and I'm trying to stop meself. 283 00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,467 You know, think of, I don't know, 284 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,067 all the teams ever managed by Graeme Souness, 285 00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:08,433 or think of fucking Graeme Souness. 286 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:10,033 But it's like being in a road accident, and I mean, 287 00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:11,600 I'm flooring the brakes, but nothing's stopping me. 288 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:15,700 And then, yeah, through the windscreen, gone in 60 seconds. 289 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:16,600 Oh. 290 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,267 Five if I'm lucky. 291 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:21,433 No one's exactly coming back for more. 292 00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:24,400 Oh, Tony, love. 293 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,833 Squeeze technique works like a charm. 294 00:13:26,933 --> 00:13:28,300 Eddie-- you know, Karen's dad-- 295 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,867 he was a 10-second wonder when we first got together. 296 00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:35,233 And you're practically family, aren't you? 297 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:42,467 Better now. 298 00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:44,333 That's better. 299 00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:45,333 That's right. 300 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:46,267 [moans] Ah! 301 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,567 Fucking hell, Sheila! 302 00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:48,533 Oh, Sorry! 303 00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:49,333 Sorry. 304 00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:50,867 Don't know me own strength. 305 00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:51,833 Oh. 306 00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:53,367 You OK? 307 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:54,767 Yeah, OK. 308 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,267 I got Eddie up to a good five minutes 309 00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,200 before he had to move into the spare room. 310 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,433 Now that was a wedding that should never have been. 311 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:09,667 I knew the moment I woke up on the day. 312 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,333 Locum had to come and give me an injection 313 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,900 to see me through the vows. 314 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,300 You could see on the video, I thought I'd married the vicar. 315 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,067 Oh! 316 00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:16,967 [laughs] 317 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,767 Sorry, sorry. 318 00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:20,233 Lapse of concentration. 319 00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:22,533 Never mind, it's a polyester blend. 320 00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:23,800 Chuck it in the wash. 321 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,300 There you go. 322 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,700 All right. 323 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:34,667 [music playing] 324 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,367 You say you're the landlord. 325 00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:39,767 Mock up the rent book, and they can't do you 326 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:40,733 for housing benefits, right? 327 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:41,800 Nice one. 328 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:42,933 It'll just be a minute. 329 00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:44,200 It's cash in advance. - Oh, Carl. 330 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,333 I told Emily you'd be her brother. 331 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:46,667 They got a visit around there, yeah. 332 00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:47,667 They paying? 333 00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,467 Fuck off, she's me girlfriend. 334 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:50,867 It's a favor. 335 00:14:50,967 --> 00:14:53,200 I don't mind. 336 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,100 Next? 337 00:14:57,067 --> 00:15:00,100 Now we've been claiming for our dad. 338 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,267 Cheers, Lillian, love. 339 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,767 We'll soon set the buggers right, eh? 340 00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:05,100 Don't mind me borrowing your husband, do you, Sheila? 341 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,600 - Course you can. - Dinner time tomorrow, then. 342 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:07,767 He's not, anyway. 343 00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:09,033 My husband, that is. 344 00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:10,600 Twisted fuckers are trying to catch you out. 345 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,167 See, if we eat together. 346 00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:13,267 I'll get a bit of ham in. 347 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:14,467 Oh! 348 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,800 Hey, I knew I was right to marry you. 349 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:17,867 Ta-ra! 350 00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:18,767 No Spam! 351 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,533 I don't think I like it, Frank. 352 00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:25,833 Dead man's shoes. 353 00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,333 Terms and conditions, Sheila. 354 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,333 I mean, I've been getting half of Brendan's disability. 355 00:15:29,433 --> 00:15:31,233 It's the least I can do, isn't it? 356 00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:33,633 This doesn't feel right to me, though, cracking on 357 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,800 that you're married. 358 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,733 It's like tempting fate. 359 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,433 So, Miss, um, Jackson. 360 00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:46,367 You've been reported as working behind 361 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,267 the bar here while claiming unemployment 362 00:15:48,367 --> 00:15:50,700 benefit and housing benefit? 363 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,233 Yeah. 364 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,767 Well, she helps me out from time to time, don't you, honey? 365 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,300 That's all. 366 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,567 I mean, wouldn't your girlfriend do the same for you? 367 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,867 Well, if she did and we were living together, 368 00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:02,500 she'd be unable to claim benefit. 369 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,400 Under current regulations, I'd be 370 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,500 ashamed to be supporting her. 371 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,567 Well, it's not our problem that society won't 372 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,233 recognize our relationship. 373 00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:14,033 We know how we feel. 374 00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:15,667 Don't we, Karen, love? 375 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,600 [music playing] 376 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:30,433 Oh, hi. 377 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:31,367 Mom! 378 00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,400 He's here! 379 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:36,333 [voices on tv] 380 00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,533 You got to be Dom, me brother, yeah. 381 00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,367 The one with the ASBO. 382 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,100 He lives in Stockport with me dad, 383 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,033 but they think he lives with us. 384 00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:47,067 This is mom, me stepdad Troy. 385 00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,700 Lip's little brother. - Hiya, love. 386 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,533 [beeping] - Yeah, that. 387 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:51,533 That is so shit. 388 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:52,933 Sounds all right to me. 389 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:53,867 Yeah? 390 00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:55,133 No, I can't for a bit. 391 00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,467 No, I'll text you. 392 00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,800 All right. 393 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:58,700 It's a piece of shit. 394 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,167 I totally fucking hate it. 395 00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:02,567 Saw this 3G mobile that just got in when I was in town. 396 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,400 It's that lush, dead light, tinier, thin, 397 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,000 but really got picture quality. 398 00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,967 Makes yours look like a fucking piece of shit, Troy. 399 00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:10,467 Better start saving up, then, hadn't you? 400 00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:15,033 - Will you tell him? - Don't wind her up, Troy. 401 00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:19,933 Have you asked him if he wants a cappuccino? 402 00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:23,067 No, I'm all right, thanks. 403 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,133 Fuck you looking at? 404 00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:29,900 [music playing] - Thanks very much. 405 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,467 Thank you. 406 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:35,400 [music playing] 407 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,367 Cheers, Shirley. 408 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:42,933 Ta very much. 409 00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,700 See you later, Emily! 410 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,700 [door slams] 411 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,200 [music playing] 412 00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,733 It's 3G, yeah. 413 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,267 Where's the video bit? 414 00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:03,000 I'll only charge you a tenner for it. 415 00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:08,833 What you roping our Carl in for, Smeggy? 416 00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:10,000 Nothing. 417 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,600 I was helping him with his homework. 418 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:12,833 Yeah. 419 00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,167 Listen, tell Debbie I won't be in later. 420 00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,167 I said I'd do a rent book. 421 00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,233 Going around Emily's. 422 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,600 Hello! 423 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:30,900 Brendan Tyler lives! 424 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,667 Mind out me floor! 425 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,167 [knock on door] 426 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,500 Mayday, mayday, mayday. 427 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,667 Dive, dive, dive. 428 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:43,267 Wish me luck, babes. 429 00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:44,500 What's he wearing all that for? 430 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,400 Outside! Outside! 431 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,700 Shoes on me floor! 432 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:48,700 Oh, right. 433 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,233 Lillian was round this morning. 434 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,233 Frank's asked for some photos of her. 435 00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,167 Can you relax your grip a bit? 436 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,733 Do you want to see why? 437 00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:06,067 Yeah. 438 00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:09,767 Sheila, it's a bit tight. 439 00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:11,267 I reckon it's for the Social. 440 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,100 To add authenticity, Frank says. 441 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,767 Makes you think, though, don't it? 442 00:19:15,867 --> 00:19:17,900 Made me think, anyway, seeing it. 443 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,933 He's never asked me, you know, Tony. 444 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,600 That should be me there. 445 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:22,633 It should be me! 446 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:23,533 Ah! 447 00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:24,500 Sheila! 448 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,433 Ah! 449 00:19:25,533 --> 00:19:26,600 I'm sorry. 450 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,600 It's just it would be the happiest day of my life. 451 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,233 Well, maybe you should talk to Frank about it, you know? 452 00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,933 Tell him how you feel. 453 00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:36,567 I don't know, pop the question yourself. 454 00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,067 Oh, no. 455 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:40,333 It's a man's job to propose, isn't it? 456 00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:44,567 Hey! 457 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:45,933 Minute and a half. 458 00:19:46,033 --> 00:19:47,867 That's a lot better. 459 00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:50,000 OK, you ready? 460 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,833 Ready? 461 00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:52,767 Now! 462 00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:55,467 [moaning] 463 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,533 See? 464 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,800 Much better. 465 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,900 Emily, I really wanted to, um-- 466 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,033 yeah, I found this on a-- 467 00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:09,700 I really wanted to give it to you-- 468 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,533 For Christ's sake, Carl, give it a rest, will you? 469 00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:13,667 I wasn't doing owt. 470 00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:16,267 Sooner you get yourself laid, right, sooner I 471 00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:17,967 can get a proper night's sleep. 472 00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:19,067 What's her name? 473 00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:20,067 Jason Digby's sister. 474 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:21,667 She'll suck anybody off. 475 00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,167 Yeah, right. 476 00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:25,167 Even Jason Digby's sister is not that fucking desperate. 477 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,833 I weren't doing owt. 478 00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:30,800 [music playing] 479 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,100 I, um, wanted to give it you. 480 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,167 The isn't a video bit. 481 00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:48,333 Just got an upgrade. 482 00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:51,400 Jada might give you a fiver for it. 483 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,333 Give me! 484 00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:53,067 I want a turn! 485 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:54,000 It's mine! 486 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,167 Come on! 487 00:20:55,267 --> 00:20:56,267 You can't just fucking barge in here. 488 00:20:56,367 --> 00:20:57,967 We're looking for Tom Lawson. 489 00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:00,133 Don't you lot ever talk to each other? 490 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,733 We've sorted all this out, haven't we, Troy? 491 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,200 Your son is here, Mrs. Lawson? 492 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,200 You're looking at him. 493 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:07,100 Now what's you fucking problem? 494 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,200 Fuck's that? 495 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,400 Condition of your bail, Dominic. 496 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:10,167 Bail! 497 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,433 What you on about? 498 00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:12,733 Maybe if you bothered to turn up 499 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:14,033 for the hearing, Mrs. Lawson-- 500 00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,667 Don't start on me, you sanctimonious old twat! 501 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,000 Since the ASBO's clearly failed to control your son 502 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,533 and he's now been charged with a crime, 503 00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:23,267 the court's taken the decision to tag him. 504 00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:24,767 Make sure he stays at home. 505 00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,567 You're mental, you are. 506 00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:36,700 They keep them things of like months. 507 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,200 Yeah, but Dom'll be back next week, won't he? 508 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,100 Went to one of them Slavic countries with his dad, 509 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,667 picking up some knock-off DVDs. 510 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,800 Hang on. 511 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:45,967 Ellerby Road. 512 00:21:46,067 --> 00:21:47,567 - And? - Not allowed. 513 00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:48,467 Tag'll go off. 514 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,167 [music playing] 515 00:21:53,267 --> 00:21:55,133 DEBBIE: What if the tag does off? 516 00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:57,200 Cops will come and get me. 517 00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:58,900 I'm supposed to stay at Emily's and ring them 518 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,633 so they can check up on me. 519 00:22:01,733 --> 00:22:02,700 Dream come true. 520 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,733 What's that supposed to mean? 521 00:22:03,833 --> 00:22:05,033 You fancy Emily, don't you? 522 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:06,400 Fuck off! 523 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,500 You're a fuck. 524 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,900 Lip'll break up with her in a few weeks. 525 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000 He always does, or they chuck him. 526 00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:12,800 Bet you anything. 527 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,700 Thing is, though, a girl like Emily, 528 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,600 I mean, learn to drive before you 529 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:17,967 set your heart on a Ferrari. 530 00:22:18,067 --> 00:22:19,600 Do you think I need a car? 531 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,800 In the end, right, there's either 532 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,667 chemistry or there isn't. 533 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,000 It's all to do way you smell. 534 00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:31,267 They've tested it on chimps. 535 00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,833 Where the fuck are we? 536 00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:34,400 [beeping] 537 00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:35,300 Shit! 538 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,633 [beeping] 539 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,433 Frank! 540 00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:42,333 Sheila! 541 00:22:42,433 --> 00:22:43,700 Come over here! 542 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,000 - I think you're wanted. - Huh? 543 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:45,933 Come over here. 544 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:47,233 Come on. 545 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,033 Come on. 546 00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:49,933 You all right, love? 547 00:22:50,033 --> 00:22:51,067 I got your money. 548 00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:53,233 [laughs] 549 00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:55,967 Married for 40 years, never a cross fucking word. 550 00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,500 [laughs] 551 00:22:59,633 --> 00:23:00,433 Sheila? 552 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,000 Sheila! 553 00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:07,333 I don't have to sit there and have my face 554 00:23:07,433 --> 00:23:09,000 rubbed in it, Frank Gallagher. 555 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,733 She's not paying me. 556 00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,433 Well, it's got nowt to do with you. 557 00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:15,033 No, because I'm nothing, I suppose. 558 00:23:15,133 --> 00:23:16,600 Just your bit on the side. 559 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,100 Course you are! 560 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,967 What, you don't think I'm-- 561 00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:27,067 what, Lillian and me? 562 00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:30,100 Fuck off! 563 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,267 This is 20/20 vision, Sheila. 564 00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:33,033 Eh? 565 00:23:33,133 --> 00:23:36,533 And I'm in sound mind. 566 00:23:36,633 --> 00:23:40,033 For fuck's sake, sort yourself out, will you! 567 00:23:40,133 --> 00:23:42,867 I'm sorry. 568 00:23:42,967 --> 00:23:44,233 Hey, look, come on. 569 00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:47,900 You know you shouldn't mix your drinks. 570 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,300 I'm sorry. 571 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,700 I know you'd never be unfaithful. 572 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:52,600 No. 573 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,600 I trust you with my life. 574 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:57,300 It's just all that being married stuff, having 575 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,033 it thrown back in my face. 576 00:24:01,133 --> 00:24:03,900 I know I shouldn't say it, but if I 577 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,167 just had a ring on my finger. 578 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,800 Sheila, love. 579 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:12,567 You know-- fucking hell-- 580 00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:16,967 you know there is nothing I would like more than to call 581 00:24:17,067 --> 00:24:23,733 you Mrs. Frank Gallagher. 582 00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,967 I don't know, no. 583 00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:28,133 But yeah. 584 00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:29,067 [laughs nervously] 585 00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:30,700 But no, no. 586 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:34,333 Because you're still married to, you know, Eddie the owl. 587 00:24:34,433 --> 00:24:35,967 I'm still married to Monica. 588 00:24:36,067 --> 00:24:38,067 Plus there's the being dead thing. 589 00:24:41,967 --> 00:24:45,233 We're star-crossed. 590 00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:47,767 The love that dare not speak its name. 591 00:24:50,733 --> 00:24:53,733 No, I mean, I don't blame you. 592 00:24:53,833 --> 00:24:54,700 Ahhh! 593 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,633 Does me head in. 594 00:24:56,733 --> 00:24:58,900 There's not a day goes by-- 595 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,367 yeah? 596 00:25:00,467 --> 00:25:04,033 But the-- you know, I love you to bits, you know that. 597 00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:06,400 Oh, I'm sorry, Frank. 598 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:10,967 I just thought, you know, because you never asked. 599 00:25:11,067 --> 00:25:13,533 [door squeaking] 600 00:25:17,867 --> 00:25:24,467 Sheila Jackson, will you do me the honor of being my wife? 601 00:25:24,567 --> 00:25:27,667 To have and to hold, for richer and poorer, 602 00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:32,800 and all that other shite, till death do us part? 603 00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,367 Yes! 604 00:25:34,467 --> 00:25:35,767 Oh, Frank! 605 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:36,767 Frank! 606 00:25:36,867 --> 00:25:40,233 I love you so much. 607 00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:44,367 Yeah, yeah, but Monica's a mad Catholic bitch. 608 00:25:44,467 --> 00:25:46,867 You know, she'll never let us go. 609 00:25:46,967 --> 00:25:49,433 Let's go and tell everyone! 610 00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:57,833 The Lord will sit in judgement, Lillian Tyler! 611 00:25:57,933 --> 00:26:00,400 Early menopause my ass! 612 00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,233 [shouting] 613 00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:03,867 Something he couldn't get at home? 614 00:26:03,967 --> 00:26:05,167 Carol! 615 00:26:05,267 --> 00:26:06,667 The way I suffered with my piles over Veronica! 616 00:26:06,767 --> 00:26:07,667 Carol! 617 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:08,933 That was told in confidence! 618 00:26:09,033 --> 00:26:10,433 It was the '70s! 619 00:26:10,533 --> 00:26:11,433 Calm down! 620 00:26:11,533 --> 00:26:13,267 [shouting] 621 00:26:13,367 --> 00:26:15,833 May as well leave it for now, eh? 622 00:26:15,933 --> 00:26:18,800 [shouting] 623 00:26:18,900 --> 00:26:22,500 [beeping] 624 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,800 You know, I can't say I'm overly 625 00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:25,733 impressed with the espresso. 626 00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:27,100 All right, Carl, love. 627 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,933 I've put your duvet down in Harley's room. 628 00:26:29,033 --> 00:26:31,267 When do you have to ring in again? 629 00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:32,400 Midnight, then 7:00. 630 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:33,567 What's going on? 631 00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:35,800 I texted Lip three times this afternoon. 632 00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:37,100 Where the fuck is he? 633 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,433 I haven't seen him for two days. 634 00:26:38,533 --> 00:26:39,400 Don't know. 635 00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,700 Said he'd come round here last night. 636 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,733 Oh, he's probably got another lass on the go. 637 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:44,033 That's not fucking funny. 638 00:26:44,133 --> 00:26:44,967 All right. 639 00:26:45,067 --> 00:26:46,367 I was only having a laugh. 640 00:26:46,467 --> 00:26:47,633 How sensitive. 641 00:26:47,733 --> 00:26:49,467 Always been like that, haven't you, chick? 642 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,167 Must've got it wrong about Lip coming around. 643 00:26:51,267 --> 00:26:53,133 Weren't really listening. 644 00:26:53,233 --> 00:26:55,067 You know, we really do appreciate this. 645 00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:57,700 Don't we, Emily? 646 00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:58,633 [door slamming] 647 00:27:00,433 --> 00:27:01,767 I can see you looking, Lip. 648 00:27:01,867 --> 00:27:04,333 Don't know why blokes think you can't. 649 00:27:04,433 --> 00:27:05,667 Sorry. 650 00:27:05,767 --> 00:27:08,167 Only, um, I thought you're supposed to get right big tits 651 00:27:08,267 --> 00:27:09,833 when you've had a baby. - Fuck off. 652 00:27:09,933 --> 00:27:10,767 She's on bottles. 653 00:27:10,867 --> 00:27:11,667 Breast feeding's better. 654 00:27:11,767 --> 00:27:13,100 You do it, then. 655 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,767 Hurts like fuck. 656 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:16,567 Not natural, is it? 657 00:27:16,667 --> 00:27:20,067 You can come back and see her, you know. 658 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:21,533 Just didn't want to wake her up. 659 00:27:21,633 --> 00:27:23,700 She has an eppie every time I put her in a buggy. 660 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,600 You're all right. 661 00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:25,800 I've got to, uh-- 662 00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:27,800 I said I'd go see someone, you know? 663 00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:29,200 Oh, yeah. 664 00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:31,233 Still on with Emily Lawson, then? 665 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,867 It just, well, suits us both. 666 00:27:33,967 --> 00:27:35,200 We don't talk at all. 667 00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:37,733 To be honest, I think she finds me a bit boring. 668 00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:39,900 Don't knock her up and All 669 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,533 I might have learned my lesson on that one. 670 00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:46,433 [music playing] 671 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,167 The UB673. 672 00:27:56,267 --> 00:27:58,567 You need to take a whole afternoon for that one. 673 00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:00,467 You can see where the biro run out. 674 00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:02,867 Replaced by UB96. 675 00:28:02,967 --> 00:28:05,400 Mrs. Jackson, I could see you've kept excellent records, 676 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,600 really excellent. 677 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,300 I'm satisfied everything's in order at your end. 678 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,033 Is there anything you'd like to ask me? 679 00:28:10,133 --> 00:28:12,367 As a matter of fact, how would notifying 680 00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:14,367 you of a change in my circumstances 681 00:28:14,467 --> 00:28:16,067 affect my eligibility to claim-- 682 00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:17,267 [thumping] 683 00:28:17,367 --> 00:28:18,767 --if I were to get married? 684 00:28:18,867 --> 00:28:21,533 [thumping] 685 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:24,167 WOMAN (ON RADIO): Tony, come in, please. 686 00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:28,033 Domestic at 12 Minton Way. 687 00:28:28,133 --> 00:28:30,700 Tony, come in, please. 688 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:31,800 Yeah, I'll be there in 10, over. 689 00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:42,767 [footsteps] 690 00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:53,533 Neighborhood watch. 691 00:28:53,633 --> 00:28:57,400 [siren] 692 00:28:59,267 --> 00:29:00,633 Don't let Debbie see you. 693 00:29:00,733 --> 00:29:02,800 She's talking about One bowl per family member per day. 694 00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:03,733 You bastard! 695 00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:04,967 Is this an ambush? 696 00:29:05,067 --> 00:29:06,567 I saw you with that skank, Mandy Maguire! 697 00:29:06,667 --> 00:29:07,633 So what? 698 00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:08,600 That's who you've been seeing, isn't it? 699 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:09,367 Huh? - Seeing? 700 00:29:09,467 --> 00:29:10,300 Yeah. 701 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,533 You're a fucking disgrace, you are. 702 00:29:11,633 --> 00:29:13,000 What's it got to do with you, twat head? 703 00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:15,267 You're supposed to be going out with Emily. 704 00:29:15,367 --> 00:29:18,033 The only reason I'm seeing Mandy is to see my kid. 705 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:19,300 It's got nothing to do with Emily. 706 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,733 Didn't see you with the baby today, though. 707 00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:22,667 Why did you lie you was going around Emily's if you've 708 00:29:22,767 --> 00:29:24,167 been out shagging Mandy? 709 00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:27,433 Why you keeping it a secret if it's just what you said? 710 00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:28,433 Fuck off. 711 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,333 Hiya. 712 00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:35,600 I've been waiting ages for you. 713 00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,400 Thought you could help me with me maths. 714 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:39,800 I mean it! 715 00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:41,367 [laughs] 716 00:29:44,433 --> 00:29:48,300 [moaning] 717 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,233 [music on tv] 718 00:29:59,733 --> 00:30:00,600 LIP: Yeah! 719 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,400 CARL (VOICEOVER): Dear-- fuck! 720 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:11,367 Um, I really want you to-- no, no, no. 721 00:30:11,467 --> 00:30:14,333 I, um-- 722 00:30:14,433 --> 00:30:16,733 Dear-- dear Em-- 723 00:30:16,833 --> 00:30:17,667 [beeping] 724 00:30:17,767 --> 00:30:18,700 Oh, God! 725 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:19,600 Shit! 726 00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:22,533 [beeping] 727 00:30:22,633 --> 00:30:26,433 [music playing] 728 00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:33,367 [beeping] Got to to the tag! 729 00:30:33,467 --> 00:30:34,833 Fuck's sake, let go, will you? 730 00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:36,167 She's ringing the fucking ambulance! 731 00:30:36,267 --> 00:30:37,600 Fuck you do that for? 732 00:30:37,700 --> 00:30:38,533 He knew. 733 00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:39,833 I told him, Emily. 734 00:30:39,933 --> 00:30:41,967 No fucking strikes in this house! 735 00:30:42,067 --> 00:30:43,867 You touch another woman, that's it! 736 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,033 You're out! 737 00:30:45,133 --> 00:30:46,333 You didn't have to fucking kill him! 738 00:30:46,433 --> 00:30:47,533 Oh, shit! 739 00:30:47,633 --> 00:30:49,333 Mom, you know he'd never look at another woman. 740 00:30:49,433 --> 00:30:51,633 Then why have we got crabs in the house, eh? 741 00:30:51,733 --> 00:30:54,200 Someone's been shagging around, Emily, and it's not me! 742 00:30:54,300 --> 00:30:56,667 - Yeah, but-- - It's Lip. 743 00:30:56,767 --> 00:30:58,200 [lip groaning] 744 00:30:59,467 --> 00:31:00,567 Lip's been shagging around. 745 00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,000 Fuck's sake. 746 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:09,500 Sheila! 747 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,933 Fuck's this? 748 00:31:11,033 --> 00:31:12,600 They've updated all their records, Frank. 749 00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:13,733 What? 750 00:31:13,833 --> 00:31:15,500 Mr. Anastasiou was ever so helpful. 751 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,267 He said he'd rectify whatever possible. 752 00:31:17,367 --> 00:31:18,033 Rectify? 753 00:31:18,133 --> 00:31:18,933 Everything. 754 00:31:19,033 --> 00:31:19,867 All your benefits. 755 00:31:19,967 --> 00:31:24,267 And they're all backdated. 756 00:31:24,367 --> 00:31:25,167 Look! 757 00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:35,800 Fucking-- fucking massive! 758 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:38,933 Top girl! 759 00:31:39,033 --> 00:31:39,900 Fuck me. 760 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,267 Pennies from fucking heaven! 761 00:31:41,367 --> 00:31:42,600 [laughs] 762 00:31:43,833 --> 00:31:45,900 I've been on to the registry office. 763 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,200 They say we've got to give them six 764 00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:49,300 weeks notice to post in advance, but we don't 765 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,833 have to have the do there. 766 00:31:50,933 --> 00:31:51,933 But that's all right. 767 00:31:52,033 --> 00:31:54,733 I was thinking the Gormley Hotel. 768 00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:57,500 They always do such a lovely buffet. 769 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:58,533 Yeah, hang on. 770 00:31:58,633 --> 00:32:00,067 Rewind. 771 00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:01,267 I'm getting ahead of myself. 772 00:32:01,367 --> 00:32:04,933 Oh, Frank, Eddie's agreed to a divorce. 773 00:32:05,033 --> 00:32:06,433 [laughs nervously] 774 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,433 Yeah. 775 00:32:08,533 --> 00:32:10,900 But last I heard, you didn't even have an address for him. 776 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,667 Tony gave me a hand. 777 00:32:12,767 --> 00:32:15,367 The DVLC computer. 778 00:32:15,467 --> 00:32:18,633 Eddie's happy to sign any papers we want, so that's him. 779 00:32:18,733 --> 00:32:21,233 You're alive, and then there's just Monica. 780 00:32:21,333 --> 00:32:23,233 Surely, Monica wouldn't get in the way 781 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:25,233 of our happiness, Frank. 782 00:32:25,333 --> 00:32:27,400 Yeah, but you know, she's a complex character, Monica. 783 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:30,033 But she can't stand in our way, Frank! 784 00:32:30,133 --> 00:32:30,933 She can't! 785 00:32:31,033 --> 00:32:31,867 [glass braking] 786 00:32:31,967 --> 00:32:33,133 Fucking hell, Sheila! 787 00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:34,600 Where's the fucking-- 788 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:35,967 [crying] Oh, Frank! 789 00:32:36,067 --> 00:32:39,433 Hang on. Jesus! 790 00:32:39,533 --> 00:32:40,633 Look. 791 00:32:40,733 --> 00:32:43,067 Look, I'll get on the bus and go over there now. 792 00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:46,767 Yeah? Do it in person. 793 00:32:46,867 --> 00:32:47,833 You know, seize the nettle. 794 00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:49,533 [sobbing] 795 00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:52,433 - Sheila, love-- - Frank, please. 796 00:32:52,533 --> 00:32:53,367 I'm onto it. 797 00:32:57,733 --> 00:32:58,633 Frank? 798 00:32:58,733 --> 00:33:00,000 Frank? 799 00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:00,967 Frank-- 800 00:33:01,067 --> 00:33:02,500 [door closing] 801 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,233 All them years. 802 00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:08,133 What's a fucking piece of paper? 803 00:33:08,233 --> 00:33:11,467 You can't just-- 804 00:33:11,567 --> 00:33:13,700 Marriage is a solemn state entered 805 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,867 into by a man and a woman. 806 00:33:15,967 --> 00:33:16,800 State! 807 00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:17,700 Yeah, yeah. 808 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,633 For the fucking state. 809 00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:23,567 Cogs in the fucking wheels. 810 00:33:23,667 --> 00:33:26,667 Plus, the whole thing costs a fucking mint! 811 00:33:26,767 --> 00:33:28,067 Keeps it all going, doesn't it? 812 00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,333 Yeah, it's an industry. 813 00:33:29,433 --> 00:33:30,067 Classic. 814 00:33:30,167 --> 00:33:31,833 I do, you're fucked. 815 00:33:31,933 --> 00:33:35,533 And all the talking. 816 00:33:35,633 --> 00:33:39,500 [music playing] 817 00:33:49,933 --> 00:33:51,500 What have you been saying to our Emily? 818 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,500 Fuck all. 819 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,367 I just said her boyfriend's a scally. 820 00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:56,233 Well, he fucking is, isn't he? 821 00:33:56,333 --> 00:33:58,233 You haven't been using them towels on the landing, 822 00:33:58,333 --> 00:33:59,333 have you? - I had a shower. 823 00:33:59,433 --> 00:34:01,133 I put 'em out for a boil wash. 824 00:34:01,233 --> 00:34:02,567 They must be crawling. 825 00:34:02,667 --> 00:34:04,367 You can tell your brother he's fucking dead, right. 826 00:34:04,467 --> 00:34:06,467 And he can pay for the stuff from the fucking 827 00:34:06,567 --> 00:34:08,733 chemist and all. 828 00:34:08,833 --> 00:34:12,667 [music playing] 829 00:34:22,667 --> 00:34:24,267 I'm really sorry, Emily. 830 00:34:24,367 --> 00:34:27,633 It's just, Lip, he deserves a twatting. 831 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:29,033 I tried telling him. 832 00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:30,867 I mean, he should be someone who does stuff for you, 833 00:34:30,967 --> 00:34:33,000 gives you all the presents and stuff. 834 00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,033 You're gorgeous, and I know you like 835 00:34:35,133 --> 00:34:37,267 understand stuff about people, because you 836 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,100 feel things, like what I do. 837 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,167 There's all this stuff I could talk to you about. 838 00:34:41,267 --> 00:34:42,700 Stuff in me head. 839 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,700 Yeah, Carl, can you just fuck off? 840 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:45,600 Who's he? 841 00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:46,967 Push off, will you? 842 00:34:47,067 --> 00:34:49,667 And tell him not to bother calling me again, yeah? 843 00:34:49,767 --> 00:34:53,633 [music playing] 844 00:35:26,100 --> 00:35:29,600 [beeping] 845 00:35:33,667 --> 00:35:34,567 [beeping stops] 846 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,467 Your brother at home, then, Carl? 847 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:41,167 Troy! 848 00:35:41,267 --> 00:35:42,133 Troy, it weren't Lip! 849 00:35:42,233 --> 00:35:43,767 It were Emily! 850 00:35:43,867 --> 00:35:45,967 Troy! 851 00:35:46,067 --> 00:35:48,433 Fuck it! 852 00:35:48,533 --> 00:35:50,433 You can't! 853 00:35:50,533 --> 00:35:51,333 Stop! 854 00:35:51,433 --> 00:35:52,100 Tory, stop! 855 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,067 It weren't him! 856 00:35:53,167 --> 00:35:53,967 It was Emily with the crabs! 857 00:35:54,067 --> 00:35:55,367 She's a slag! 858 00:35:55,467 --> 00:35:56,767 She's been shagging another lad, a lad with a car. 859 00:35:56,867 --> 00:35:57,933 She's a slag. 860 00:35:58,033 --> 00:35:59,100 You calling my missus's lass a slut? 861 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,333 She's a fucking slag! 862 00:36:00,433 --> 00:36:01,267 No! 863 00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:02,000 Stop it! 864 00:36:02,100 --> 00:36:03,500 What are you doing? 865 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:04,267 Leave him alone! 866 00:36:04,367 --> 00:36:05,700 Fuck off out of it, love. 867 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:06,967 I said leave him alone. 868 00:36:07,067 --> 00:36:08,767 And I said fuck off before you get hurt. 869 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,067 It's none of your fucking business. 870 00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:12,033 I'm warning you, if you don't fuck off now, 871 00:36:12,133 --> 00:36:12,967 I'm calling me dad. 872 00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:13,867 And who's your dad, love? 873 00:36:13,967 --> 00:36:15,100 Patrick fucking Maguire? 874 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,900 That's right. 875 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,000 Mandy McGuire. 876 00:36:20,667 --> 00:36:23,233 Suppose if he's not around, one of my brothers might be free. 877 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:24,000 No. 878 00:36:24,100 --> 00:36:26,367 No, you're all right. 879 00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:27,767 Sorry. 880 00:36:27,867 --> 00:36:28,733 Sorry, love. 881 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:32,700 [music playing] 882 00:36:38,167 --> 00:36:39,667 You never learn, do you? 883 00:36:39,767 --> 00:36:40,967 I didn't do owt. 884 00:36:41,067 --> 00:36:42,733 Somebody's told him I'm shagging around. 885 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,267 Fucking little asswipe! 886 00:36:51,367 --> 00:36:52,800 I thought you were shagging Mandy! 887 00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:54,000 Knock off! 888 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:55,167 Even if I did, I can't believe you'd 889 00:36:55,267 --> 00:36:56,567 land me in the shit like that! 890 00:36:56,667 --> 00:36:58,033 Makes a change from you landing everyone else in it! 891 00:36:58,133 --> 00:36:59,433 Hey, hey, hey! Come on! 892 00:36:59,533 --> 00:37:00,967 You could have fucking killed me! 893 00:37:01,067 --> 00:37:04,500 I thought you'd given everyone crabs. 894 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,233 What? 895 00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:06,733 Lip gave Carl crabs? 896 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:19,467 [baby crying] 897 00:37:19,567 --> 00:37:21,133 [door opening] 898 00:37:21,967 --> 00:37:23,967 Oh, you must have known. 899 00:37:24,067 --> 00:37:26,233 I was just beginning to worry about by tagine. 900 00:37:26,333 --> 00:37:31,100 They say you can't overcook a braise, but there are limits. 901 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,700 I thought we'd have a little celebration. 902 00:37:47,367 --> 00:37:49,267 Tell me if I'm being over the top. 903 00:37:49,367 --> 00:37:52,067 But you can't be over the top for a wedding. 904 00:37:52,167 --> 00:37:54,100 I've got my heart set on a croque en gouche 905 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,667 instead of a fruit cake. 906 00:37:55,767 --> 00:37:58,267 Look, spun sugar all over. 907 00:37:58,367 --> 00:38:00,867 Some people are intimidated by choux pastry, 908 00:38:00,967 --> 00:38:03,633 but actually, it's quite straightforward. 909 00:38:06,567 --> 00:38:07,667 She wasn't in. 910 00:38:11,733 --> 00:38:13,167 Monica. 911 00:38:13,267 --> 00:38:16,867 They were both out, as it happens. 912 00:38:16,967 --> 00:38:18,467 I see. 913 00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:19,900 It's all right. 914 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,133 Try again tomorrow. 915 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:25,500 We've got all the time in the world, haven't we? 916 00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:29,500 I know, Frank. 917 00:38:32,567 --> 00:38:35,900 I may be stupid, but I'm not blind. 918 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:36,800 No. 919 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:38,033 Yeah, right. 920 00:38:38,133 --> 00:38:39,233 I do know. 921 00:38:43,233 --> 00:38:44,433 To tell you the truth, if I was you, 922 00:38:44,533 --> 00:38:47,200 I'm not sure I'd want to marry me either. 923 00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:48,900 I thought just this once. 924 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,333 You know what I'm like. 925 00:38:50,433 --> 00:38:52,233 Had it on my school report once. 926 00:38:52,333 --> 00:38:53,867 If Sheila had her head in her books 927 00:38:53,967 --> 00:38:55,667 as much as she does it in the clouds, 928 00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:56,667 she'd be top of the class. 929 00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:03,633 Never felt like day dreaming. 930 00:39:03,733 --> 00:39:06,133 Just felt like I was waiting for something. 931 00:39:06,233 --> 00:39:09,000 I never knew what. 932 00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,900 Then you came along, and I knew. 933 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,233 I knew just like that. 934 00:39:15,333 --> 00:39:16,133 Sorry. 935 00:39:19,867 --> 00:39:23,533 There's a raspberry pannacotta in the fridge if you got room. 936 00:39:23,633 --> 00:39:26,100 It's nicest if you bring it up to room temperature. 937 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:32,200 I'm a bit shattered. 938 00:39:57,567 --> 00:40:01,467 [sobbing] 939 00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:19,767 [sheila sobbing] 940 00:40:42,167 --> 00:40:43,733 MAN (ON PHONE): Yeah, hello? 941 00:40:43,833 --> 00:40:45,167 Hello, Shre-- Norm, hello. 942 00:40:45,267 --> 00:40:46,467 MAN (ON PHONE): No! 943 00:40:46,567 --> 00:40:47,367 Frank. 944 00:40:47,467 --> 00:40:48,700 Frank Gallagher. 945 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:49,867 MAN (ON PHONE): What the fuck? What did you just call me? 946 00:40:49,967 --> 00:40:51,133 Don't start. 947 00:40:51,233 --> 00:40:52,100 MAN (ON PHONE): No, what did you just call 948 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,167 me, you lanky string of piss? 949 00:40:53,267 --> 00:40:54,167 What do you want? 950 00:40:54,267 --> 00:40:55,533 Can I have a word with Monica? 951 00:40:55,633 --> 00:40:59,567 MAN (ON PHONE): Oh, for fuck's sake. 952 00:40:59,667 --> 00:41:00,700 Here you go, fellas. 953 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,800 No, put your money away. 954 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:03,200 All drinks are on Frank Gallagher. 955 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:05,067 It's real diamonette. 956 00:41:05,167 --> 00:41:06,300 Unique design. 957 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,067 See how the stones catch the light 958 00:41:08,167 --> 00:41:10,033 giving it an extra dimension. 959 00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:11,433 Did you get off QVC? 960 00:41:11,533 --> 00:41:12,267 Yes! 961 00:41:12,367 --> 00:41:13,667 Frank said I could take my pick. 962 00:41:13,767 --> 00:41:15,300 It's gorgeous. 963 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,200 Look. 964 00:41:19,033 --> 00:41:19,833 Fuck me. 965 00:41:19,933 --> 00:41:22,533 Look at him, will you. 966 00:41:22,633 --> 00:41:23,967 Bit weird, isn't it? 967 00:41:24,067 --> 00:41:27,000 I mean, mom and dad getting a divorce. 968 00:41:27,100 --> 00:41:28,367 Compared to what? 969 00:41:28,467 --> 00:41:29,133 Crop circles? 970 00:41:29,233 --> 00:41:30,067 Dad living with Sheila? 971 00:41:30,167 --> 00:41:32,333 Mom and Norman? 972 00:41:32,433 --> 00:41:34,267 Yeah, I know, but now they're never 973 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:35,333 going to get back together. 974 00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:43,800 (SINGING) Hey, did you happen to see the most 975 00:41:43,900 --> 00:41:48,133 beautiful girl in the world. 976 00:41:48,233 --> 00:41:56,033 And if you did, was she crying? 977 00:41:56,133 --> 00:41:58,433 Normal service has resumed. 978 00:41:58,533 --> 00:41:59,767 Fortunately. 979 00:41:59,867 --> 00:42:02,733 Me mom shagged me Uncle Roy at me Auntie Cath's funeral. 980 00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:04,033 I reminded her. 981 00:42:04,133 --> 00:42:06,867 Well, it sort of put him in his place, you know? 982 00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:09,233 Me dad's shagging Lillian. 983 00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:10,767 It was like he's retaliating. 984 00:42:14,867 --> 00:42:16,000 We're pulling out. 985 00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:18,167 Had a call, Head office has costed it out. 986 00:42:18,267 --> 00:42:20,267 We're paying you a lot more than when we started. 987 00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:22,367 My number's on there. 988 00:42:22,467 --> 00:42:25,833 You can, you know, bring your friend. 989 00:42:25,933 --> 00:42:27,467 Oh, what are you expecting? 990 00:42:27,567 --> 00:42:29,300 A pillow fight? 991 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,133 Don't do us any favors, you spineless little prick. 992 00:42:32,233 --> 00:42:34,967 We're dykes, not fucking wank fodder for pathetic little 993 00:42:35,067 --> 00:42:35,967 twats like you! 994 00:42:36,067 --> 00:42:38,433 Go home to your internet, eh? 995 00:42:38,533 --> 00:42:42,900 Oh, and by the way, my cock's twice the size of yours. 996 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,267 MAN: You tell him, Jez! 997 00:42:46,367 --> 00:42:50,367 [cheers and applause] 998 00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:58,233 Kev. 999 00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:02,867 Bonny kiddie. 1000 00:43:02,967 --> 00:43:06,000 Takes after her dad. 1001 00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:07,900 You know, Philip? 1002 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,333 Philip? 1003 00:43:09,433 --> 00:43:11,933 It's a very special feeling. 1004 00:43:12,033 --> 00:43:14,300 Yeah, everyone says that. 1005 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,467 No, I don't mean the kiddie. 1006 00:43:15,567 --> 00:43:16,800 That's bollocks. 1007 00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:20,100 I mean it's a very special feeling you have for the mother 1008 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:21,633 of your children. 1009 00:43:21,733 --> 00:43:23,133 I've only got one so far. 1010 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,433 Not quite in your league. 1011 00:43:24,533 --> 00:43:26,267 Yeah, well, whatever happens, they 1012 00:43:26,367 --> 00:43:28,833 can't take that away from you. 1013 00:43:28,933 --> 00:43:31,133 You know, them feelings. 1014 00:43:31,233 --> 00:43:35,600 It's like, you know, it's in your bones. 1015 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:38,067 It's like when cancer spreads, and they 1016 00:43:38,167 --> 00:43:40,100 give up on the fucking chemo. 1017 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,500 Oh, Frank, come and have a dance. 1018 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:43,467 Come on. 1019 00:43:43,567 --> 00:43:45,800 [slow song playing] 1020 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:47,333 I love you so much. 1021 00:43:47,433 --> 00:43:48,700 Come on, love. 1022 00:43:54,433 --> 00:43:56,833 SHEILA (VOICEOVER): That night in the Jockey, 1023 00:43:56,933 --> 00:43:58,933 I felt like the Queen. 1024 00:43:59,033 --> 00:44:00,133 Sheila Gallagher. 1025 00:44:00,233 --> 00:44:02,233 Just sounds right, doesn't it? 1026 00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:04,067 Like it was meant to be. 1027 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,167 Hey, Kev. 1028 00:44:08,267 --> 00:44:11,433 Long time, no see. 1029 00:44:11,533 --> 00:44:12,200 Roxy Ball? 1030 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:13,767 She signed herself Ball? 1031 00:44:13,867 --> 00:44:15,733 We are still married, Vee. 1032 00:44:15,833 --> 00:44:17,533 You poisonous fucking bitch! 1033 00:44:17,633 --> 00:44:20,133 [shouting] 1034 00:44:20,233 --> 00:44:23,567 Does the sight of my penis really upset you that much? 1035 00:44:23,667 --> 00:44:24,933 How long was she in prison? 1036 00:44:25,033 --> 00:44:26,333 Oh, a few years. 1037 00:44:26,433 --> 00:44:27,100 GBH. 1038 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,233 Come on, then! 1039 00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,767 I'll kill the fucking lot of you! 1040 00:44:30,867 --> 00:44:31,933 Starting with her! 1041 00:44:32,033 --> 00:44:34,433 [music playing] 1042 00:45:12,867 --> 00:45:15,267 [moaning] 1043 00:45:29,267 --> 00:45:33,300 Oh, for the love of Christ, Tony, just come, will you?