1 00:00:00,767 --> 00:00:02,133 [music playing] 2 00:00:05,633 --> 00:00:07,400 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now nobody is saying that Chatsworth 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,100 Estate is the Garden of Eden. 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,367 But it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, 5 00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:16,767 and my kids, who I'm proud of, because every single one of 6 00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:19,500 them reminds me a little of me. 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,333 They can all think for themselves, which 8 00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:23,967 they've got me to thank for. 9 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,167 Quick leggy! 10 00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:26,333 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Lip, who is a bit 11 00:00:26,433 --> 00:00:27,867 of a gobshite, which is why nobody 12 00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:30,067 calls him Phillip anymore-- 13 00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:32,533 Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others, 14 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,400 because she's disappeared into thin air and Carl. 15 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,200 We didn't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 16 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:40,200 One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah. 17 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:41,733 Too, nits love him. 18 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,533 Debbie, sent by God, total angel. 19 00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:46,900 You've got to check your change, but she'd go miles out 20 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,600 of her way to do you a favor. 21 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,900 Plus little Liam. 22 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,267 He is going to be a star someday. 23 00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:55,100 Sheila, my bird, couldn't be happier. 24 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,400 One plate short of a full set, like. 25 00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:00,433 Our fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica, 26 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:03,000 lend you anything, well, almost anything. 27 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,633 Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell, 28 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,767 last of the lonely hearts in the the psychologist wet dream. 29 00:01:08,867 --> 00:01:10,167 Still nobody is perfect. 30 00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:13,300 But all of them to a man know first 31 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,167 and foremost, one of the most vital necessities in life is. 32 00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:20,267 They know how to throw a party. 33 00:01:20,367 --> 00:01:21,000 Scatter! 34 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:21,933 (SINGING) New pussycat? 35 00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:24,500 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 36 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,900 What's new, pussycat? 37 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,033 Whoa, whoa. 38 00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:32,233 Get your shirt off, Frank! 39 00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:36,000 (SINGING) Pussycat, pussycat, I've got flowers and lots 40 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:39,567 of hours to spend with you. 41 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:45,100 So go on powder your cute little pussycat nose. 42 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:49,067 Pussycat, pussycat, I love you. 43 00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:50,200 Yes, I do. 44 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,233 IAN (VOICEOVER); Someone once said 45 00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,233 that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. 46 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,100 It feels about right. 47 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,733 We're all so busy looking at the road ahead, 48 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:03,233 we never really notice where we're at, which is dangerous, 49 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,800 because sometimes there's a great big fucking 50 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:06,767 juggernaut coming. 51 00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:07,667 State of him. 52 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:08,767 How does it happen? 53 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,033 What do you get, lad? 54 00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:11,767 (SINGING) Pussycat that you're a tosser. 55 00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:12,667 People love him. 56 00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:13,900 Yeah, I know. 57 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,100 It's pathetic. 58 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,200 So, uh, who are you going to vote for? 59 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,000 Quinn? 60 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:18,900 IAN: No one. 61 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,500 They're all terrible. 62 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:27,833 (SINGING) Pussycat, pussycat I love you, yes, I do. 63 00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:32,533 It's not unusual you and your pussycat is both of them. 64 00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,400 [music playing] 65 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:38,633 LIP: How much for the tit wank, girls? 66 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:39,533 Don't know. 67 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:40,433 What are you offering? 68 00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:42,133 Don't pay for it, don't have to. 69 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,433 Is that right? 70 00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:47,667 Come to you around the block when you're ready. 71 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:48,667 Got to go. 72 00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,400 See you later, if you're lucky. 73 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:57,000 You fuck my sister, you're dead. 74 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,167 [tire squeal] 75 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,267 (SINGING) He says I'm sorry. 76 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,800 I'm out of milk and coffee. 77 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,900 Meanwhile, sugar, we can watch the-- 78 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:09,867 We need words, Councillor. 79 00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:11,167 The matter is closed. 80 00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:12,700 Far from it, Mr. Cliff. 81 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,333 The Catholic Youth Club provides an important social function 82 00:03:15,433 --> 00:03:17,867 netting together the fabric of this community, and as such-- 83 00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:19,433 It's the drugs den. 84 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,267 Its closure might-- 85 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,767 It's fucking drugs den. 86 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:23,067 It's not a drugs den. 87 00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,233 It's a youth club for good, honest kids 88 00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:26,567 with nowhere else to go. 89 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:31,900 And whilst it may be convenient to you and your council cronies 90 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,833 to dismiss that so you can line your pockets 91 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:38,267 by selling the land, those kids need God's good guidance. 92 00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:40,133 I bought drugs from there. 93 00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:41,300 The motion is passed. 94 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,433 It's being demolished, end of story. 95 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:46,733 Whether paradise alights only upon the hand 96 00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:48,067 that does not grasp. 97 00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,267 You might care to remember that. 98 00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:04,167 LIP: Supplies, courtesy of Hotel Britannica. 99 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:05,333 I'm not sewing them now. 100 00:04:05,433 --> 00:04:07,500 What have you brought it all here for? 101 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,700 She left to a party. 102 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,800 What sort of party? 103 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,400 The sort your lot are coming to. 104 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,433 Hiya. 105 00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:13,533 All right, can you get some takeouts. 106 00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:14,100 Yeah, what are you after? 107 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,033 A few cans. 108 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:15,933 Lager will do. 109 00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:18,033 The strongest you've got. 110 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,433 WOMAN: So you're not inviting us then? 111 00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:22,267 No offense, but it's going to be pretty hardcore. 112 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:23,800 Well, we can do hardcore can't we, Marty? 113 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:24,733 We've heard. 114 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:25,833 Go themselves. 115 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,400 [applause] 116 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,400 [cheers] 117 00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:31,367 MC: Great stuff. 118 00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:32,467 Great stuff. 119 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:33,667 Next, we've got Wendy Wagstaff, everybody. 120 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:34,567 Come on. 121 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:35,500 [cheers] 122 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,700 Hello, darling, hello. 123 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,367 Tell us who you ware going to be tonight, Wendy. 124 00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:41,733 WENDY: Tonight I'm going to be Karen Carpenter. 125 00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:42,700 [applause] 126 00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:44,767 Jesus souping hell. 127 00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:50,300 You're working too hard. 128 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,700 KASH: It's only short term. 129 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,967 I just did all this council stuff's been dealt with. 130 00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:55,867 Hey, there's a conference in a couple of weeks. 131 00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:56,800 Harrogate. 132 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,300 You could come over. 133 00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,633 The hotel has been paid for. 134 00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,467 No. 135 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,867 Bye. 136 00:05:09,967 --> 00:05:12,033 [music playing] 137 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,967 I only got a few hours to kill. 138 00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:33,933 Those pills were proper mental. 139 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,767 Do you fancy another? 140 00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:37,000 - I can't. - Why not? 141 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,200 Sly half. 142 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,767 Give the day an interesting spin. 143 00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:47,300 By the way, Zoe said to tell you, 144 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,433 I should be expecting you after work. 145 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:57,800 [door knock] 146 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,733 All right, hi, blondie. 147 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:11,500 Oh, no. 148 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,800 [door knock] 149 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,567 Can I see my fucking brother? 150 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:18,733 [door knock] 151 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:19,667 Kev. 152 00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:22,467 Kev, let us in. 153 00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:23,600 Fuck off! 154 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,367 Fuck off yourself, you dirty fucking skaggy. 155 00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:27,633 KELLY: Put Kev on the door. 156 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,000 Let me in, Kev. 157 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,933 I can see-- Move your fucking hand, you silly-- 158 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,200 Fuck off! 159 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:33,500 There's no way, Kel, not after last time. 160 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,667 Veronica would have me bollocks in a bag. 161 00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:36,833 She just doesn't lie, mate. 162 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:39,767 She caught you shooting up in our bog. 163 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,233 I'm clean now, honest. 164 00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:42,367 It's not just that. 165 00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:43,433 It's you two. 166 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,733 You are at each other like cat and dog. 167 00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:46,867 Dog is right in here case. 168 00:06:46,967 --> 00:06:48,200 I'm working again. 169 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:49,267 I've got money coming in. 170 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,433 Look. 171 00:06:50,533 --> 00:06:53,267 I finally found something I'm good at. 172 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,100 Just need a room, that's all. 173 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,067 I can't help you, babe. 174 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,433 You'll have to ask about-- 175 00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,833 I'm sure someone could do with the extra readies. 176 00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:01,500 Contemporary living accommodation, 177 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,933 conveniently situated close to all local amenities. 178 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:05,867 How much are we talking? 179 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,400 [music playing] 180 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,833 I just want a gift pack started, 5 o'clock. 181 00:07:11,933 --> 00:07:14,000 Don't rip it, dickhead. 182 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:14,933 IAN: Fuck off. 183 00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:16,000 CARL: You fuck off. 184 00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:20,600 Don't be such a dick. 185 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:21,900 What are you doing? 186 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,267 Scissors. 187 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,267 Another 30 for the market, but only if we can get 188 00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:26,600 the same price as last time. 189 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:27,533 Good morning. 190 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:28,767 [inaudible]. 191 00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:29,667 Morning. 192 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,433 I said black. 193 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,900 DEBBIE: No, sorry, put it back. - What are you on about? 194 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,567 That bread was bought by communal money, 195 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,767 money earned by everyone with one exception. 196 00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:51,467 So I'm supposed to starve, am I, because I can't find work? 197 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,267 You've not even looked. 198 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:53,667 You've not even been trying. 199 00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:54,967 I don't even live here. 200 00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:58,700 Well, you act as if you do and eat as if you do. 201 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,100 Everyone has to contribute too. 202 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,533 I'll pay for her. 203 00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:04,333 Well, she's my guest, so I'll just earn twice as much. 204 00:08:04,433 --> 00:08:05,400 Problem solved. 205 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,033 And how are you going to do that, Marty? 206 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,267 Get a job. How do you think? 207 00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:09,267 You've been for a dozen jobs this year. 208 00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:10,800 You've not got a single one. 209 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,067 Donkey dick, sorry. 210 00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:13,133 Cunt face. 211 00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:14,500 Motherfucker shit wank twat face! 212 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,400 [bark] 213 00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:22,933 Oh, put adverts up, handyman, you know, fixing stuff. 214 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:25,433 Sue reckons work will come rolling in. 215 00:08:25,533 --> 00:08:27,333 Fine, but we are not having passengers. 216 00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:31,300 If you stay in here, you pay your way. 217 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,300 Oh. 218 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,500 Bonan! 219 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,433 [music playing] 220 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:41,667 [doorbell] 221 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,600 I got your invite. 222 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:47,533 What invite? 223 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:48,300 From Jack. 224 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,633 He said you told him to-- 225 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,100 He thinks he's funny. 226 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,800 He likes playing God with people. 227 00:08:56,900 --> 00:09:03,033 Maybe he was being benevolent, you know, forcing us together. 228 00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,733 It's all about fun, isn't it? 229 00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:07,367 A better time together. 230 00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:10,433 What ever happened to courtship? 231 00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,367 Dates? 232 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:12,767 Flowers? 233 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:15,467 If all you want is a quick jump, Lip, you've got the wrong girl. 234 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:23,133 Jack? 235 00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:26,200 I got-- sorry, I was miles away. Lip is not here. 236 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,400 I'm not looking for Lip. 237 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:29,567 Right. 238 00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:33,733 Um, do you want a drink? 239 00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:34,967 All right. 240 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,633 Unless you fancy something a bit stronger. 241 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,400 That will soften the edges. 242 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,300 [sniff] 243 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,733 Oh. 244 00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,533 You're not kidding. 245 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,867 It's burning. 246 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,467 Oh, that's really-- 247 00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,267 Do you like that? 248 00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:18,933 No, not yet. 249 00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:20,033 Tomorrow. 250 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,867 Are you home? 251 00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,067 Definitely. 252 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,800 Good. 253 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,767 [music playing] 254 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:43,667 Ah, Sadie, you must have came running. 255 00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:44,800 Hi. 256 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,033 Damsel in distress needing shelter, 257 00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:50,033 somewhere to call home. 258 00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:52,100 Kelly, Kev's sister. 259 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,033 Oh, pleased to met you. 260 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,867 I said she could have Karen's room. 261 00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:57,767 All right, shoes. 262 00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:59,167 Take your shoes off. 263 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,200 Up you go. 264 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,733 Go on, make yourself comfy. 265 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,300 At the back here. 266 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:18,000 Frank, you used to be on drugs. 267 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,700 Well, who didn't? 268 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,000 What sort of society is it if we can't offer forgiveness? 269 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,833 Now, if young Devin doesn't deserve a second chance. 270 00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:30,600 Tell me that. 271 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,867 Would be nice to have an extra pair of hands helping out. 272 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:34,233 Exactly. 273 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:35,867 It'll be company for you, help with the kids. 274 00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:37,133 Yeah. 275 00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:39,033 She's like an au pair without the accent. 276 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:42,100 Au pair? 277 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,633 You are not going to have sex with her, are you? 278 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:47,567 I've seen a documentary about it on Channel 5. 279 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,267 It's almost an epidemic. 280 00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,433 Hello. 281 00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:52,467 Sex. 282 00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:53,967 I've got you. 283 00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,867 Do you really think I'd be interested in some slip 284 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,467 of a girl? 285 00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:59,533 I've got to jump in the shower. 286 00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:01,367 Can I help myself to shampoo and that? 287 00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:02,300 Yeah. 288 00:12:10,767 --> 00:12:12,667 [music playing] 289 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,600 [door knock] 290 00:12:28,733 --> 00:12:29,567 Anyone home? 291 00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:06,400 There you go, Lillian. 292 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,867 You haven't got anything to unblock drains have you, Kash? 293 00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,267 Not unless you want to try the vodka. 294 00:13:13,467 --> 00:13:16,400 [inaudible]. 295 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,067 5.20. 296 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:20,167 The Catholic community is very loyal, Kash. 297 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,633 It'd be unfortunate if your livelihood were to suffer 298 00:13:22,733 --> 00:13:24,100 because of their principles. 299 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,367 is that some kind of threat? 300 00:13:27,467 --> 00:13:29,667 God works in mysterious ways. 301 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,100 And so does Allah. 302 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,667 Now, piss off before I strangle you with your rosaries. 303 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,567 I've got to go. 304 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:51,833 I'll see you soon. 305 00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:54,000 When? 306 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,100 Who knows? 307 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,700 That's the fun of it. 308 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,667 [music playing] 309 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:07,533 [doorbell] 310 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,533 Who says courtship is dead? 311 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,133 You'll have to do do better than that. 312 00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:17,533 Jesus. 313 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:28,300 I'm free Friday, if you want to try harder. 314 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,500 [phone ring] 315 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:37,967 Hello? 316 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,400 Andy, Andy. 317 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:40,333 That's me. 318 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,067 Hello? 319 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:44,333 Yeah. That's me. 320 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:45,167 Never mind. 321 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,200 One minute, I'll just get a pen. 322 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,100 I've been given my room. 323 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,067 Borrowing your hair dryer. 324 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:51,400 Mine's blown. 325 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:52,667 Ask Marty. 326 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,933 What's opened, dad? 327 00:14:54,033 --> 00:14:56,367 Housekeeping has gone missing, 120 pounds. 328 00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,167 Well, don't look at me. 329 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,300 Well, it was there this morning. 330 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,600 Who else has been in there? 331 00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:03,933 You can accuse me of a lot of things, Debbie, 332 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,200 but I'm not a thief. 333 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,067 I've got my first job. 334 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,700 You know the other day, when you came around to ours. 335 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:25,633 What of it? 336 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,067 It was good, wasn't it? 337 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,167 Forbidden fruit and all that. 338 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:42,333 No, I mean like really good. 339 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:51,533 I've got to go. Do you need a lift anywhere? 340 00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:52,633 No, I'll walk. 341 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,200 I fancy a bit of air. 342 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,600 [music playing] 343 00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,567 [moaning] 344 00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,533 KELLY: Get down there, Carl. 345 00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:44,533 [crash] 346 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,367 What are you doing? 347 00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:56,767 Kelly, bloke in with her, shagging. 348 00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:57,800 Oh, oh. 349 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,233 For now? 350 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,500 Yeah. 351 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,433 In there? 352 00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,633 Yes. 353 00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:08,433 People having sex on the other side of that wall. 354 00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:13,667 Oh. 355 00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:14,633 How blonde is blonde? 356 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,000 Don't go mad. 357 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,133 I don't want to end up looking like Margi Clarke. 358 00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,300 I hope you're charging for that. 359 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,433 - Debs. - She's been like this all week. 360 00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,633 She told you why? 361 00:17:21,733 --> 00:17:22,700 Why what? 362 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,100 Debbie thinks I've stolen money. 363 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,367 Oh, come on, Debs. 364 00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:26,200 You can't go around saying things like that. 365 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,133 Well, someone has. 366 00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:28,767 Has anyone seen my keys? 367 00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:30,167 I can't find them anywhere. 368 00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:31,800 They've got the shop keys on and everything. 369 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,000 CARL: You looked in the bedroom? 370 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,500 No, Carl, I never thought about that. 371 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,333 This place is such a fucking tip. 372 00:17:36,433 --> 00:17:38,333 It could be anywhere. - Right. 373 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,167 I'm off to work. 374 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,400 [gasp] Hey, you. 375 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,067 Ho, dear, I never thought I'd see the day. 376 00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:44,433 No, this is the new me. 377 00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:46,100 She reckons there's no ends where it could lead. 378 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,400 [kiss] See ya. 379 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,167 See ya. 380 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,067 Have a good day, worker. 381 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:52,100 I'll cook you something special for tea. 382 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,667 Half of these are ballads. 383 00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:02,467 You can draw the line at fucking ballads. 384 00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:04,067 What about Goldfinger? 385 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,933 Everyone loves them all the same, apart 386 00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:07,500 from that one by Duran Duran. 387 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,667 Good morning. 388 00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:09,767 Good morning. 389 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:11,167 You got any juice. 390 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:13,167 My mouth tastes like rotten fish. 391 00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:15,233 SHEILA: I made you some breakfast. 392 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,833 Fresh coffee. Toast. 393 00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:17,767 Brilliant. 394 00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:19,567 I'm starving. 395 00:18:19,667 --> 00:18:22,900 Oh, will your friend be joining us? 396 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,400 No, he shot off early. 397 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,433 He's a train driver, morning shift. 398 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:30,733 SHEIL: Oh. 399 00:18:30,833 --> 00:18:32,600 That's a shame. 400 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:38,167 Tell him if he wants to join us again, he's more than welcome. 401 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,167 [music playing] 402 00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:52,033 I thought your voice sounded familiar. 403 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,200 The drains need doing, stink to high heaven. 404 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,567 Spot of painting. 405 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:59,400 My Brendan used to do all this, God rest his soul. 406 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,267 He'd be useless at most things, but give him 407 00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:03,800 a trial with some caustic soda. 408 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:04,800 He was happy as a pig in shit. 409 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,000 Get it off. 410 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,167 [music playing] 411 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,400 LIP: Hey, Marty! 412 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,800 Marty! 413 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,467 Bastard Ow! 414 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:40,367 Ahh! 415 00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:41,367 [crash] 416 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:42,233 [glass breaking] 417 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,400 Oh, dear God, Marty. 418 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,367 Oh, my hand. 419 00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:48,933 Wriggle your fingers for me. 420 00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,267 How do know to do all this? 421 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,900 I do a first aid course at the community center. 422 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,333 You'd be surprised how often it comes in. 423 00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:57,167 You'll have to rest that for a few days. 424 00:19:57,267 --> 00:19:57,900 No. 425 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,733 I'm fine, honest. 426 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:00,833 I need to keep working. 427 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,633 And I need the money. 428 00:20:02,733 --> 00:20:04,633 I like being here. I don't want to let you down. 429 00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:05,567 Spunk face! 430 00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:06,633 Ow. 431 00:20:06,733 --> 00:20:08,367 You remind me of my Brendan. 432 00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:10,633 People used to mock because of his stammer. 433 00:20:10,733 --> 00:20:13,000 Anything with an S in it, you were buggered. 434 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,633 But once you got to know him, he had a heart of gold. 435 00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:22,367 It's lonely without him, Martin. 436 00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:24,067 You don't realize what loneliness is 437 00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:25,600 until you lose your soul mate. 438 00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:32,367 Will you stay to tea? 439 00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,233 I've got a shepherd's pie in. 440 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:35,800 It were Brendan's favorite. 441 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,067 I have only one pair of hand, you know? 442 00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,700 It's going to take me weeks to get through this lot. 443 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,700 The concierge is out at the moment, so it's easy pickings. 444 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,167 So when do we see our cut of this? 445 00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:49,267 When all the money comes in. 446 00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:51,100 And when is that likely to be? 447 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,500 Don't worry, mate, we'll get it. 448 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:55,400 Can I use your bog? 449 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,333 Go for it. 450 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,667 DEBBIE: [inaudible]. 451 00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:03,267 I've got 30 now [inaudible]. 452 00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:07,867 What the fuck you doing? - Forbidden fruit and all that. 453 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:08,767 Fuck off. 454 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,800 Lip is downstairs. 455 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,333 I'm sorry. 456 00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:13,100 Here. 457 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,067 I left these in my car. 458 00:21:17,967 --> 00:21:20,000 [music playing] 459 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,000 Wow! 460 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,067 You look amazing. 461 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:37,767 Don't look so bad yourself. 462 00:21:45,733 --> 00:21:49,200 How are my two favorite girls? 463 00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,400 You know the trouble is you're too similar. 464 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:54,500 You could be besty mates if you'd only let yourselves. 465 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:58,067 Oh, for fuck's sake, look, we're grown ups. 466 00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:02,000 Can't we just have a drink and let bygones be bygones? 467 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,633 Suits me. 468 00:22:03,733 --> 00:22:04,767 Fine. 469 00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:08,267 Rum and Coke whatever for blonde. 470 00:22:08,367 --> 00:22:09,000 Veronica. 471 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,600 There now, happy family. 472 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:15,333 Actually, my date is here. 473 00:22:15,433 --> 00:22:16,767 It'll have to be another time. 474 00:22:20,567 --> 00:22:22,767 We always look out for each other though, me and Jez. 475 00:22:22,867 --> 00:22:24,000 I suppose we have to. 476 00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:25,333 We're the only family we've really got. 477 00:22:25,433 --> 00:22:27,167 You could have a couple of hours if you want. 478 00:22:27,267 --> 00:22:29,767 Liam's cute, bites a bit, but he'll 479 00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:31,300 grow out of it eventually. 480 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,500 Jack says you're clever. 481 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,567 The last thing you need is to get trapped round here. 482 00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:37,500 I won't. 483 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,333 How would you know? 484 00:22:38,433 --> 00:22:40,700 I'm different. Same again. 485 00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:44,800 Fucking wanker! 486 00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:45,933 Look at the state of her. 487 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:46,900 Your brother owes me money. 488 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,300 Oh, you'll get it, asshole. 489 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,733 I know, because you're going to go and remind him. 490 00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:50,767 Apologize. 491 00:22:50,867 --> 00:22:51,700 You are? 492 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,400 I said apologize. 493 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,367 - You'd be doing what? - Lip, leave it. 494 00:22:55,467 --> 00:22:56,367 Look, I'm fine. 495 00:22:56,467 --> 00:22:57,567 I'll tell Jack to pay for the gear. 496 00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,200 So why don't we just forget all about? 497 00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:02,700 Fucking slap her. [groan] 498 00:23:03,733 --> 00:23:05,633 [music playing] 499 00:23:41,933 --> 00:23:43,933 He's calling her a dirty bitch. 500 00:23:44,033 --> 00:23:45,167 He's getting her to bite him. 501 00:23:45,267 --> 00:23:47,000 Look, Sheila, I'm up for a bit of, 502 00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:50,067 you know, I like kinky as much as the next bloke, 503 00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:50,967 but you know, this is-- 504 00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:52,233 He's begging her. 505 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,100 She's slapping him, and he's begging her. 506 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,267 You'll be drilling a fucking hole next. 507 00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:58,667 I mean, can't we just-- this is the third night running. 508 00:23:58,767 --> 00:24:00,633 No wonder the fucking trains are running late. 509 00:24:00,733 --> 00:24:02,200 This isn't the train driver. 510 00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:05,000 No, it's the one this afternoon, different voices, 511 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:06,567 different requests. 512 00:24:06,667 --> 00:24:07,567 The what? 513 00:24:07,667 --> 00:24:11,267 She's playing the field, saucy minx. 514 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:14,500 She's had sex with four different blokes. 515 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,633 How many fucking boyfriends is she-- 516 00:24:16,733 --> 00:24:19,767 I've finally found something I'm good at. 517 00:24:19,867 --> 00:24:21,867 I just need a room, that's all. 518 00:24:21,967 --> 00:24:23,833 Oh, Jesus Christ! 519 00:24:23,933 --> 00:24:26,433 Last little whore house in Chatsworth. 520 00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:41,367 [crash] 521 00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,367 Turn around and fuck off! 522 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:53,167 I'll give you the money. 523 00:24:53,267 --> 00:24:56,333 Just get the fuck out of my shop. 524 00:24:56,433 --> 00:24:58,200 Now! 525 00:24:58,300 --> 00:24:59,200 [scream] 526 00:25:00,133 --> 00:25:01,600 Fucking Christ! 527 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:02,600 Ow! 528 00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:04,000 [smack] 529 00:25:04,100 --> 00:25:05,167 [groan] 530 00:25:08,067 --> 00:25:09,133 [groan] 531 00:25:21,567 --> 00:25:24,033 [siren] 532 00:25:31,967 --> 00:25:34,000 How is my little sister getting on? 533 00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:37,767 Is she keeping herself out of trouble? 534 00:25:37,867 --> 00:25:40,567 She's a prostitute. 535 00:25:40,667 --> 00:25:42,433 Prostitute? 536 00:25:42,533 --> 00:25:44,533 As in? 537 00:25:44,633 --> 00:25:46,200 Pros- ti- tute. 538 00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:49,367 Shags men for money in my fucking house. 539 00:25:49,467 --> 00:25:52,133 Frank, that is my little sister you're calling a tart. 540 00:25:52,233 --> 00:25:53,633 So you better have your facts. 541 00:25:53,733 --> 00:25:57,433 Men come in day and night, so to speak, hour at a time, 542 00:25:57,533 --> 00:25:59,533 lick me, spank me. 543 00:25:59,633 --> 00:26:02,667 Let me call you mommy. 544 00:26:02,767 --> 00:26:05,800 Where else do you think she's getting a fucking wedge from? 545 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:08,467 Oh, Jesus. 546 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,167 Oh, I'll have words. 547 00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,833 I'll ask her, and think, oh, you can't have that going on. 548 00:26:12,933 --> 00:26:15,133 You can. 549 00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:16,500 Sheila likes it. 550 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,400 You wha? 551 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:18,500 It turns her on. 552 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,200 She thinks Kelly has got a healthy sex life. 553 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:23,233 She doesn't realize she's living with Cynthia fucking Payne. 554 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:24,533 Be getting luncheon vouchers next. 555 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:29,867 What's up with you two? 556 00:26:29,967 --> 00:26:31,833 On the game, Kel? 557 00:26:31,933 --> 00:26:32,900 What? 558 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,233 Oh, have you got this off him? 559 00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:36,333 Purple. 560 00:26:36,433 --> 00:26:37,867 I can't walk around the house without anyone 561 00:26:37,967 --> 00:26:39,333 dressing me with his eyes. 562 00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:40,133 Eh, no. 563 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:42,167 I've got the old man back. 564 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,100 Catching up for lost time, aren't I? 565 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,300 Because then when you get clean, your libido runs rampant. 566 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,067 Here's your rent. 567 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,067 [music playing] 568 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,300 YVONNE: He laid there for hours, unconscious, blood everywhere. 569 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:20,800 This is Father Crichton. 570 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:21,767 That's what I said. 571 00:27:21,867 --> 00:27:23,000 It's got to be cash. 572 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:24,033 He goes around making threats, and then 573 00:27:24,133 --> 00:27:25,233 you end up looking like this. 574 00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:26,800 They were robbing us. 575 00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:31,133 You only got a bit of money, a few tokens, all cash is mobile. 576 00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,933 The weirdest thing is there were no forced entries, 577 00:27:33,033 --> 00:27:34,533 so god knows how they got him. 578 00:27:34,633 --> 00:27:36,900 They had keys. 579 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,267 You what? 580 00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,300 He reckons they have keys. 581 00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:48,700 [door knock] 582 00:27:49,733 --> 00:27:52,233 How does it feel on? 583 00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,033 Good. 584 00:27:53,133 --> 00:27:54,733 Length OK? 585 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:55,633 Perfect. 586 00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:00,700 Oh, god. 587 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:01,733 It is. 588 00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,567 It's him. 589 00:28:03,667 --> 00:28:07,433 It's like seeing my Brendan for the very first time. 590 00:28:07,533 --> 00:28:10,067 Say the line. 591 00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:14,900 I haven't got much shore leave, pretty lady. 592 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,033 But what I have got, I'd like to spend with you. 593 00:28:20,133 --> 00:28:22,067 What did he call you? 594 00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:23,333 Lillian. 595 00:28:23,433 --> 00:28:26,633 Well, Lilly, may I buy you a drink? 596 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:27,533 Panther Stout? 597 00:28:30,233 --> 00:28:31,700 [MUSIC - PERRY COMO, "MANDOLINS IN THE MOONLIGHT"] 598 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,367 PERRY COMO (SINGING): As I hear mandolins in the moonlight. 599 00:28:35,467 --> 00:28:36,767 Prick. 600 00:28:36,867 --> 00:28:39,333 Fuck off! 601 00:28:39,433 --> 00:28:40,800 PERRY COMON (SINGING): See what magic 602 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:45,933 you star, the song readily sings in perfect tune with-- 603 00:28:46,033 --> 00:28:46,867 Cunt. 604 00:28:46,967 --> 00:28:47,767 Tit wank! 605 00:28:50,833 --> 00:28:52,700 [music playing] 606 00:29:01,067 --> 00:29:02,133 [doorbell] 607 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,500 [door knock] 608 00:29:07,067 --> 00:29:07,867 Yeah? 609 00:29:07,967 --> 00:29:08,800 Is Jack in? 610 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:10,033 It depends who is asking. 611 00:29:10,133 --> 00:29:11,633 Ian Gallagher. 612 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,800 I'm a friend. 613 00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:14,700 Jack? 614 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,200 All right. 615 00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:26,300 I won't be long. 616 00:29:32,633 --> 00:29:34,400 What the fuck you doing coming around here unannounced? 617 00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,033 Nice girlfriend, Jack, fit and all. 618 00:29:36,133 --> 00:29:37,133 You can't just-- 619 00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,033 She know you like sucking cock? 620 00:29:38,133 --> 00:29:38,967 Shut it! 621 00:29:39,067 --> 00:29:39,967 I mean it, Ian. 622 00:29:40,067 --> 00:29:40,933 I'll break your fucking legs. 623 00:29:41,033 --> 00:29:42,867 It's you, isn't it? 624 00:29:42,967 --> 00:29:45,433 The break in, the stolen money. 625 00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:47,100 I have no idea what you're talking about. 626 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,233 You used me. 627 00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:49,233 If you're going to talk shit here-- 628 00:29:49,333 --> 00:29:51,600 You left him for dead. 629 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:54,800 He's my boyfriend. 630 00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:57,067 The bloke you knocked seven shades of shit out of 631 00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:58,867 is my fucking boyfriend. 632 00:29:58,967 --> 00:30:01,367 Ian, you're upset. But you've got-- 633 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:02,500 Fuck off! 634 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:03,433 You stole my keys. 635 00:30:03,533 --> 00:30:05,233 You used them to do over the shop. 636 00:30:05,333 --> 00:30:06,500 You left them in my car. 637 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:07,333 I'm giving them back. 638 00:30:07,433 --> 00:30:08,733 Now, why would I do that, Ian. 639 00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:10,433 If it nicked him, why would I not just chuck them. 640 00:30:10,533 --> 00:30:12,933 If I were you, I'd think very carefully 641 00:30:13,033 --> 00:30:14,733 about what you're accusing. 642 00:30:14,833 --> 00:30:17,367 Is everything all right? 643 00:30:17,467 --> 00:30:19,767 Yeah, we just finished, haven't we, Ian? 644 00:30:32,633 --> 00:30:38,467 [MUSIC - PERRY COMO, "CLOSE TO YOU"] 645 00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:43,033 PERRY COMO (SINGING): Why do birds suddenly 646 00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:49,000 appear every time you are near. 647 00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:52,533 Just like me, they long-- 648 00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:54,167 I miss him so much. 649 00:30:54,267 --> 00:30:55,500 What if die, Marty? 650 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,767 What if I go without ever being touched again? 651 00:30:58,867 --> 00:31:00,233 You might meet someone new, who knows? 652 00:31:00,333 --> 00:31:03,167 An attractive woman like you, sucky fuck. 653 00:31:03,267 --> 00:31:04,667 One night, Marty. 654 00:31:04,767 --> 00:31:06,633 I'll put a word in down at the community center for you. 655 00:31:06,733 --> 00:31:09,600 They are looking for somebody permanent, caretaker. 656 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:11,233 You need never be out of work. 657 00:31:11,333 --> 00:31:14,867 Ah, I'd like to, but I've got a girlfriend, and she's lovely. 658 00:31:14,967 --> 00:31:16,567 It's still all in full working order. 659 00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:17,567 I've even had a bath. 660 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:19,300 It's not that-- honestly. 661 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,033 I'll pay you, double money. 662 00:31:21,133 --> 00:31:22,667 Nobody'd ever know. 663 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:26,333 OK. 664 00:31:38,733 --> 00:31:39,633 [door knock] 665 00:31:39,733 --> 00:31:41,500 Are you ready, Marty? 666 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:42,400 Marty? 667 00:31:46,933 --> 00:31:48,100 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 668 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,033 I'm really, really sorry. 669 00:31:49,133 --> 00:31:50,267 Marty, what happened? 670 00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:51,500 - Did you join the Navy? - She went mental. 671 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,000 I've been dressing up as her dead husband. 672 00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:54,033 Lillian? 673 00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:55,767 She wants me to shag her. 674 00:31:55,867 --> 00:31:56,933 She's offering money and everything. 675 00:31:57,033 --> 00:31:57,533 Bucket of spunk! - Come here. 676 00:31:57,633 --> 00:31:58,933 No, no. 677 00:31:59,033 --> 00:32:00,400 Now I've let you down, and I've lost my work, and [inaudible],, 678 00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:02,333 and I'm really sorry, but it wasn't my fault. 679 00:32:02,433 --> 00:32:03,067 It's all right. 680 00:32:03,167 --> 00:32:04,433 We'll manage. 681 00:32:04,533 --> 00:32:06,100 I noticed they are looking for check 682 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,433 out girls at Cost Chopper. - Mmm. 683 00:32:08,533 --> 00:32:11,600 5.50 an hour. 684 00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:12,800 How much is Lillian offering? 685 00:32:28,733 --> 00:32:30,467 Lip, what the fuck you doing? 686 00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:32,767 Is that what Juliet said to Romeo? 687 00:32:32,867 --> 00:32:35,800 It would be if you turned up pissed at 4:00 in the morning. 688 00:32:35,900 --> 00:32:37,233 Where is Jack? 689 00:32:37,333 --> 00:32:39,667 He's still at the party. 690 00:32:39,767 --> 00:32:41,733 I had to see you. 691 00:32:41,833 --> 00:32:43,900 You make me so fucking horny. 692 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,967 Is that what Romeo said to Juliet. 693 00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:50,533 Act IV, Scene V. 694 00:32:50,633 --> 00:32:51,500 Wait there. 695 00:33:16,767 --> 00:33:17,667 [electric sound] 696 00:33:18,867 --> 00:33:20,433 She's got two of them in there. 697 00:33:20,533 --> 00:33:22,767 You've got a lot of catching up to do. 698 00:33:22,867 --> 00:33:24,700 [music playing] 699 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:31,933 What a night. 700 00:33:32,033 --> 00:33:33,900 The party was brilliant. 701 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,033 Jack gets these Es. 702 00:33:35,133 --> 00:33:36,367 I've never had anything like them. 703 00:33:36,467 --> 00:33:38,200 They make your knob tingle. 704 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:39,667 You should come out with him some time. 705 00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:42,000 He's a wanker. 706 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:43,300 What are you talking about? 707 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,400 Look, he was the one that broke into the shop 708 00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:46,667 and beat Kash up. 709 00:33:46,767 --> 00:33:48,967 He was the one that stole the housekeeping money. 710 00:33:49,067 --> 00:33:51,733 Don't try and stick up for him, Lip, because I know it's right. 711 00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:52,900 You don't even know him. 712 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,100 Don't I? 713 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,200 We've been at it like rabbits. 714 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:57,700 We've done it right there on the floor. 715 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,700 And you know what? 716 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,200 It's the best sex I've ever had. 717 00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:01,800 - You're lying. - Ask him. 718 00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:02,733 You're fucking lying. 719 00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:04,200 He's straight. 720 00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:07,733 Didn't look very straight when I was sucking his cock. 721 00:34:07,833 --> 00:34:11,567 His greased, go round with his flash car, cool fucking life, 722 00:34:11,667 --> 00:34:12,933 and we've fallen for it. 723 00:34:13,033 --> 00:34:14,367 But who is he, Lip? 724 00:34:14,467 --> 00:34:16,367 Who the fuck have we let into our lives? 725 00:34:16,467 --> 00:34:18,133 It's not your fucking man. 726 00:34:18,233 --> 00:34:19,500 He's fuck all to do with you. 727 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,500 All I wanted was something different outside 728 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,900 of this house-- this fucking family. 729 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,733 You can't stand it, can you? 730 00:34:25,833 --> 00:34:27,700 You can't stand being left behind. 731 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,133 It's not about me, Lip. 732 00:34:30,233 --> 00:34:33,000 He's the best mate I've ever had. 733 00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,833 His sister is amazing. 734 00:34:35,933 --> 00:34:38,367 And you have to go and interfere with it. 735 00:34:38,467 --> 00:34:39,300 Open your eyes. 736 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,500 He's a cunt. 737 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,567 You're the one that brought him into this house. 738 00:34:42,667 --> 00:34:45,633 So you're the one that can get rid of him. 739 00:34:45,733 --> 00:34:48,300 You know what, Ian, that's not going to happen. 740 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,700 [music playing] 741 00:35:10,767 --> 00:35:14,067 You got any plans for tonight? 742 00:35:14,167 --> 00:35:15,167 No, not really. Why? 743 00:35:15,267 --> 00:35:16,567 What are you offering? 744 00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:17,633 Me and Zoe are going local. 745 00:35:17,733 --> 00:35:19,967 I thought you could bring Claire along. 746 00:35:20,067 --> 00:35:21,500 Fucking foursome? 747 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,367 You'll be arranging dinner parties next. 748 00:35:24,467 --> 00:35:29,333 Actually, there'll be five us with your mate, Charlie. 749 00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:30,067 No, no! 750 00:35:30,167 --> 00:35:31,033 Oh, please! 751 00:35:31,133 --> 00:35:32,467 Jesus fucking. 752 00:35:32,567 --> 00:35:33,367 I'm trying to get ready. 753 00:35:33,467 --> 00:35:34,367 I need-- 754 00:35:34,467 --> 00:35:36,933 I need you to perform for me, Frank. 755 00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,967 [inaudible] fuck! 756 00:35:39,067 --> 00:35:41,700 You can't deny a woman a sexual need. 757 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,033 I'm in my prime. 758 00:35:44,133 --> 00:35:45,167 [yelling] 759 00:35:46,033 --> 00:35:46,867 What's happening? 760 00:35:46,967 --> 00:35:48,233 A role play. 761 00:35:48,333 --> 00:35:49,900 She's being a whore. 762 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,500 He's refusing to pay. 763 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:57,400 She's calling all kinds of bastard. 764 00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:58,767 Is it? Is it? 765 00:35:58,867 --> 00:35:59,733 [scream] 766 00:36:00,767 --> 00:36:01,667 Oh! 767 00:36:01,767 --> 00:36:02,600 Oh. 768 00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:03,567 [scream] 769 00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:05,333 Frank, [inaudible]. 770 00:36:05,433 --> 00:36:06,133 Oh, god, Frank. 771 00:36:06,233 --> 00:36:07,500 Oh, god, Frank, no! 772 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:08,400 Is it [inaudible]? 773 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:12,167 Well, well, Sheila. [scream] 774 00:36:13,033 --> 00:36:14,033 [smack] 775 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:16,533 Get up, and you get another one. 776 00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:20,100 Jesus, what sort of place is this? 777 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,467 It's just a normal family home. 778 00:36:22,567 --> 00:36:24,333 How much does he owe you? - 50. 779 00:36:24,433 --> 00:36:25,233 Come on. 780 00:36:28,467 --> 00:36:29,667 Here. 781 00:36:29,767 --> 00:36:31,133 Leave that for the deposit on your next accommodation. 782 00:36:31,233 --> 00:36:33,533 Now, get out! 783 00:36:33,633 --> 00:36:34,433 Go on. 784 00:36:34,533 --> 00:36:35,400 [groan] 785 00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:49,200 Without further ado, let's welcome on stage the first act. 786 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:51,767 It's Wendy Wagstaff, everyone. 787 00:36:51,867 --> 00:36:53,267 [applause] 788 00:36:54,167 --> 00:36:55,400 [inaudible] 789 00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:57,733 [inaudible] interest in smoking and drinking 790 00:36:57,833 --> 00:36:59,933 and the work of Archimedes. 791 00:37:00,033 --> 00:37:01,467 Wendy, tell us who you're going to be? 792 00:37:01,567 --> 00:37:07,500 WENDY: Tonight, Kev, I'm going to be Brittany Spears. 793 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,467 [music playing] 794 00:37:08,567 --> 00:37:10,433 Oh, baby, baby. 795 00:37:10,533 --> 00:37:11,200 Jack, [inaudible]. 796 00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:12,167 What are you having? 797 00:37:12,267 --> 00:37:13,700 Same as you, please, mate. 798 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,100 One of them, please. 799 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,667 WENDY (SINGING): To know. 800 00:37:18,767 --> 00:37:21,500 Something wasn't right here. 801 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:29,067 Oh, baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go. 802 00:37:29,167 --> 00:37:31,467 Now you're out of sight, dear. 803 00:37:31,567 --> 00:37:37,433 Show me how you wanted to let them be. 804 00:37:37,533 --> 00:37:40,633 Sights you see when you haven't got your gun. 805 00:37:40,733 --> 00:37:41,733 I'm a man of God. 806 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:42,867 I'd never do something like that. 807 00:37:42,967 --> 00:37:44,700 So is your Pope when he were a Nazi. 808 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,933 Whatever my quarrel, I'd never stoop to the use of violence. 809 00:37:47,033 --> 00:37:48,300 Well, that's where we're different. 810 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,067 Now, go on! 811 00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:50,033 Fuck off! 812 00:37:50,133 --> 00:37:51,400 Before I feed you to lions! 813 00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:54,700 Yvonne, Yvonne, he was nothing to do with it. 814 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,400 It was me. 815 00:37:57,500 --> 00:37:58,567 I've fucked up. 816 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,967 I shagged someone else. 817 00:38:06,067 --> 00:38:07,700 One of Lip's mates. 818 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:08,667 He stole my keys. 819 00:38:08,767 --> 00:38:11,333 It was him that robbed you. 820 00:38:11,433 --> 00:38:14,167 It was him that nearly killed you. 821 00:38:14,267 --> 00:38:15,633 And I know you both are going to hate me, 822 00:38:15,733 --> 00:38:20,100 but I never meant for any of this to happen, I swear. 823 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,500 And I wanted to tell you sooner, but he's Lip's mate. 824 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,367 And they're both in the pub now laughing and joking 825 00:38:26,467 --> 00:38:29,933 like nothing ever happened. 826 00:38:30,033 --> 00:38:37,200 It's my fault. It's all my stupid fault. 827 00:38:37,300 --> 00:38:38,467 This isn't about me. 828 00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:39,400 You two better talk. 829 00:38:48,733 --> 00:38:50,600 [music playing] 830 00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:57,300 (SINGING) The minute you walked in the joint. 831 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:04,800 I could feel you were a man of distinction, a real big hassle. 832 00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:07,800 So if I say wouldn't you like to know 833 00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:10,200 what's going on in my mind? 834 00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:12,167 I'll get right to the point. 835 00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:17,367 I don't pop my cork for every guy I see. 836 00:39:17,467 --> 00:39:18,133 Hey! 837 00:39:18,233 --> 00:39:21,700 This one there. 838 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,267 Spend a little time with me. 839 00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:30,700 Wouldn't you like to have fun? 840 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:31,633 Fun? 841 00:39:31,733 --> 00:39:32,867 Fun? 842 00:39:32,967 --> 00:39:37,600 How's about a few laughs, laughs, laughs? 843 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:40,567 I can show you a good time. 844 00:39:40,667 --> 00:39:44,967 Let me show you a good time. 845 00:39:45,067 --> 00:39:47,533 Looking at you walk in the joint. 846 00:39:47,633 --> 00:39:48,933 I can see you were a man. 847 00:39:49,033 --> 00:39:49,933 Zoe! 848 00:39:50,033 --> 00:39:50,900 [moan] 849 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:51,967 Zoe! 850 00:39:52,067 --> 00:39:53,133 [door knock] 851 00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:55,333 Hey, what the fuck you think you're doing? 852 00:39:55,433 --> 00:39:56,500 What's Kash doing on his phone? 853 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:57,733 Where is he coming from? - [inaudible]. 854 00:39:57,833 --> 00:39:59,067 Why? - This isn't your phone. 855 00:39:59,167 --> 00:40:00,000 Where'd you get it? 856 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:01,133 Did Jack give you that? 857 00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:02,533 I'd say nothing until [inaudible].. 858 00:40:02,633 --> 00:40:03,333 Tell them! 859 00:40:03,433 --> 00:40:04,933 Oh, we've got a knock off. 860 00:40:05,033 --> 00:40:05,867 Why? 861 00:40:05,967 --> 00:40:06,967 Bastard! 862 00:40:07,067 --> 00:40:08,267 So he did some cunt for a phone. 863 00:40:08,367 --> 00:40:10,433 What fucking difference does it make? 864 00:40:19,933 --> 00:40:21,400 Hey, bastard! 865 00:40:21,500 --> 00:40:22,400 [crash] 866 00:40:22,500 --> 00:40:23,533 [inaudible]. 867 00:40:23,633 --> 00:40:26,833 You've ruined everything, you fucking liar. 868 00:40:26,933 --> 00:40:29,400 [inaudible] over here. 869 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:35,400 [groan] 870 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:36,433 What's he done? 871 00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:37,833 Just tell me what the fuck he's done? 872 00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:38,933 I'll tell you. 873 00:40:39,033 --> 00:40:40,300 And who the hell are you? [smack] 874 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,567 Ooh! 875 00:40:41,667 --> 00:40:42,933 It's him. 876 00:40:43,033 --> 00:40:45,500 He's the one that broke into our shop, left Cash for dead, 877 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,467 and he'd do the same to any one of you. 878 00:40:48,567 --> 00:40:49,500 You're a dead man. 879 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:53,033 Lads. 880 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,300 So it will start again or what? 881 00:41:14,467 --> 00:41:16,600 It was the first time, Kash honest. 882 00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,867 There's never been anybody else, and there won't be again. 883 00:41:18,967 --> 00:41:19,767 It's just-- 884 00:41:19,867 --> 00:41:20,700 Ian. 885 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,933 No. 886 00:41:22,033 --> 00:41:24,933 I have to say because look at you. 887 00:41:25,033 --> 00:41:29,933 Well, he did, and that was my doing, 888 00:41:30,033 --> 00:41:34,733 because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. 889 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,100 I can't. 890 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,500 I don't deserve you. 891 00:41:45,567 --> 00:41:48,900 If it hadn't been that guy, it'd have been someone else. 892 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,133 I made a mistake. 893 00:41:50,233 --> 00:41:53,733 That's all, just a stupid mistake. 894 00:41:53,833 --> 00:41:55,933 We always knew it wouldn't last forever, Ian. 895 00:41:56,033 --> 00:41:57,033 No. 896 00:41:59,433 --> 00:42:04,067 Don't talk like that, Kash, , please. 897 00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:06,133 Don't talk like it's over. 898 00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:11,300 I've met someone else. 899 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:12,600 [siren] 900 00:42:14,567 --> 00:42:15,567 Who is he? 901 00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:16,467 Does it matter? 902 00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:18,733 He's single, older. 903 00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:20,533 He knows what he wants. 904 00:42:20,633 --> 00:42:22,333 Well, are you going to fucking tell me? 905 00:42:25,033 --> 00:42:30,400 Harrogate, one last weekend. 906 00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:31,400 [crying] 907 00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:36,800 [music playing] 908 00:43:00,267 --> 00:43:01,800 - Jesus. - Mandy. 909 00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:03,133 You scared me half to death. 910 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,433 How could you-- 911 00:43:06,533 --> 00:43:09,300 State of you. 912 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:13,767 This is going to be a girl, our little baby daughter. 913 00:43:13,867 --> 00:43:15,133 She's due at the start of next month. 914 00:43:18,233 --> 00:43:21,467 Can I touch her? 915 00:43:21,567 --> 00:43:22,400 Go on then. 916 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:23,333 Be quick. 917 00:43:28,367 --> 00:43:29,867 Listen, mom's on the way. 918 00:43:29,967 --> 00:43:31,700 So you best not hang about. 919 00:43:34,733 --> 00:43:35,767 See you around then. 920 00:43:38,067 --> 00:43:39,067 Good luck, yeah. 921 00:43:41,900 --> 00:43:43,733 [music playing] 922 00:43:48,533 --> 00:43:51,467 LIP (VOICEOVER): Sometimes we get so wrapped up 923 00:43:51,567 --> 00:43:53,600 in getting what we want that we never 924 00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:57,567 really ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place. 925 00:43:57,667 --> 00:43:59,567 [music playing] 926 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,733 [scream] 927 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,700 Oh, no! 928 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,000 Lip, they've robbed the shop. 929 00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:43,200 Mandy McGuire has been taken to the hospital. 930 00:44:43,300 --> 00:44:44,733 My daughter's been knocked down, 931 00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,367 and someone's going to get a big fucking kicking for that. 932 00:44:46,467 --> 00:44:47,667 I'll tell you that for nothing. 933 00:44:47,767 --> 00:44:50,567 Take it from me, this horse has already won. 934 00:44:50,667 --> 00:44:52,633 We'll get all the cash together we can, 935 00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:53,800 and we'll put it all on. 936 00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:55,733 Stay away from daughter and her baby. 937 00:44:55,833 --> 00:44:56,733 [smack] 938 00:44:59,233 --> 00:45:01,300 [music playing] 939 00:45:39,167 --> 00:45:40,700 Are you the handyman? 940 00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:41,733 What is it you need fixing? 941 00:45:41,833 --> 00:45:44,633 I've written a list. 942 00:45:44,733 --> 00:45:46,367 Lillian recommend you. 943 00:45:48,933 --> 00:45:50,167 That all looks OK. 944 00:45:50,267 --> 00:45:52,433 Would you be needing a quote?